Quake (Zero Punctuation)

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[@MALICEM12]

" moved faster than a hairless Philippino boy in a crowded bath house." I always love Yahtzee's random crazy metaphors. his unique form of humor never gets old.

[@aFewBitsShort]

The nails in Quake were Nine Inches if I remember correctly..

[@daviamorim]

HA!

[@musicalbacon2]

Yea. They were supposed to get Trent reznor to do the music for the game. I don't know if that wound up ever happening. But it's not just an in joke, they were working together.

[@daviamorim]

musicalbacon2 It did happen. Trent Reznor did the soundtrack and all sound effects. By the way: the ranger's voice, whenever he "grunts" and whatnot, is actually Trent's voice. You can look it up, if you want. :)

[@Bobman-ml5qf]

Yep well it was the box of the nails, and had NIN (can't do the reversed N sorry); and it was an Easter Egg, because Trent Rezner (sorry if I misspelled) was from Nine Inch Nails, and he did the music for Quake. Which was fucking kick-ass!

[@a-blivvy-yus]

Remove "from" and change "was" to "is" and you get "Trent Reznor is Nine Inch Nails". This is still true. When recording, he does everything. In tours, he uses a variety of performers to make up the rest of the band.

[@Penningtontj]

"And then there's the Ogre who's job is to GET FUCKED!" is now one of my favorite Yahtzee line.

[@SapphireCrusader1988]

Penningtontj For me too.

[@hegyak]

After replaying Mission Pack 1, yes. It is ABSOLUTELY true.

[@bamesjond7495]

It's too funny

[@louisduarte8763]

They cut out the closing credits, which a had a caption saying this other monster (the Shambler, I think) can get triple-fucked with a side of bacon.

[@bizmonkey007]

"...Hitting it is like trying to swat a fly with your jizz." I want to read a novel by this man

[@Former_Halo_Fan]

+Chu Chow "Unlike you people, I have no illusion as to my usefulness in an actual apocalypse. The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archeologists."

[@Afroofthenight]

Update: He's written two more (that I know of), Differently Morphous and Will Save the Galaxy for Food. Also with audiobooks read by him

[@pranavghantasala6808]

JAAAAAAM

[@JimboDoomface]

Hah!

[@dstns]

Update to the Update: He's a sequel to Will Save the Galaxy for Food, it's called Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash

[@danielhale1]

I spent *years* making mods for this game. It was my first real introduction to coding, which eventually turned into gainful employment. Originally I stole the game (as I did a lot of software as a teen, as my parents wouldn't buy anything for me). It felt good to realize I was making enough money that I could just BUY stuff and own it legally. It remains one of the early purchases I'm most proud of.

[@Saavik256]

Too bad QuakeC is a major pain in the arse.

[@danielhale1]

@@Saavik256 Yea it's a struggle going back to QuakeC. It was a great introductory language though, and as a middle-ground scripting language, it was pretty awesome for its time.

[@apothos666]

What field are you in if you don't mind my asking?

[@danielhale1]

@@apothos666I'm a software engineer for a sports simulation company. I've also done software in civil engineering (water modelling), internet service (UI for managing all the equipment and checking signal quality), healthcare (UI, billing, etc), and video games (which is an awful industry that treated me really poorly). I'm not qualified to work in most of those industries, except that I'm really good at c++ and a smattering of other languages. The experts in their field at the company could tell me what they needed the software to do (and help me with the related science, math, industry jargon, etc), and I worked with them on the software until they were pleased with the results. Developing a widely-useful skill really opens doors!

[@BackPalSA]

Quake isn't in Hell, it's a Horrible Extradimensional Lower Level.

[@auracle6184]

Or a Hostile Extraterrestrial Lovecraftian Location

[@brainsorbet2853]

A pleasant vacation in the Bahamas

[@averagebritishguy7082]

It's a Home For Infinite Loser.

[@DinnerForkTongue]

@@brainsorbet2853 Especially now after Dorian.

[@simon5310]

"It's lika a school field trip to continental Europe during a major cholera outbreak". The fact that Yahtzee has been doing ZP for over a decade and can, to this day in 2022, still make analogies and jokes as good as this one is jawdropping.

[@adamthejester9718]

"Yahtzee, please come out of the fridge" wow, this man predicted UK election shenanigans 3 years ago

[@Noisemaker50]

Guys, guys. Yahtzee reviews Quake the same week Let's Drown Out ends. Now I'm remembering that Quake II was the first LDO video ever. Now I want to cry.

[@maxbogaers]

yep. me to... me to

[@temporaldisplacement]

I got feels.

[@geddyknee1633]

Don't remind me. *Weeps while listening to Gabe rant about education from a teacher's perspective*

[@geddyknee1633]

Don't remind me. *Weeps while listening to Gabe rant about education from a teacher's perspective*

[@BIadelores]

This reminds me, they were very close to finishing Resident Evil 4 - Maybe he could finish it and review it.

[@BastetFurry]

At least we rocket jumped to school! Both ways! IN HOT BOILING LAVA!!!

[@jdjohnson1591]

Genius, bro. Genius. You have my respect.

[@merrittanimation7721]

Amazing

[@forevercomputing]

That was a bug they kept it.

[@verzocktes]

Tdays kids in school just get jumped on by someone with a rocket launcher

[@tylerfindlay3774]

"Yahtzee please come out of the fridge." Greatest way to open a video.

[@royceatkinson]

"Man with Gun, Esquire" - honestly this man's creativity in silly and severely densely packed jokes and quips is crazily clever always has at least one or two laugh out loud moments in his videos

[@peardude8979]

"Any new releases come out yet?" Shows picture of NMS in the corner "No."

[@digitaltoaster4956]

i never notice that

[@antduude]

"Daikatana made out of mousetraps and semen" pretty much sums up my experience with that game. Thanks, Yahtzee, now I'll have to search out that new map pack and relive the Quake vs. Duke days again.

[@joshuahardin2436]

"Because you're an overstimulated millennial blinking stupidly as you attempt to parse my words through a haze of ADHD medication and energy drinks" is where I lost it.

[@callumferguson1834]

Hes right as well

[@RacingSnails64]

I am overstimulated, stupid, and have ADHD, but I never touch energy drinks

[@abdulmasaiev9024]

@@callumferguson1834 He's not, though! Millenials have still played shareware. Now, genzee on the other hand... Oh geez, poor kids. Good thing they had their Minecrafts and such, because otherwise their version of "pay money for more game" is ingame microtransactions. Nobody deserves that.

[@callumferguson1834]

@@abdulmasaiev9024 haha poor zoomers

[@DeathMetaI]

I had to pause and rethink my life a little bit, but then got distracted by the comments section.

[@SplotchTheCatThing]

"Hybrid human + forklift monsters". Love it. Trent Reznor needs to do more game soundtracks. Seriously. The 10 songs on that disc are better (musically, and suited-for-the-game-edly) than at least 75% of the ambient score stuff out there now.

[@gracefool]

Is there *any* ambient game score better than Quake?

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

Agree.

[@yutro213]

@@gracefool Portal.

[@NightfallShadow]

I loved the hell out of Quake 3 arena.

[@finnyjam8252]

You know what, I prefer Quake to other retro shooters because of how great the core gameplay loop is, as well as how unique the theme of a lovecraftian shooter is.

[@Redd2D]

A quake review? Man I'm SHAKING in my boots.

[@Zoxide_]

you did it wrong

[@Redd2D]

Story of my life ._.

[@KatyLawson]

HANAKO IKEZAWA

[@JJAB91]

One day I'll go back to Katawa Shoujo. But that day is not today.

[@raindrain1]

If you find my feels in there remind them it's all fiction a bunch of grognards from 4chan wrote and I really should stop listening to Cold Iron before I become an alcoholic.

[@ramseydoon8277]

The soundtrack is some of Trent Reznor's best work from his early career, it definitely qualifies for regular rotation.

[@Tralfazz74]

The ending of this review is the most effective, efficient summary of the fps genre I've ever heard

[@LordKohaegan]

One of the best Zero Punctuation videos in a long time. I stopped watching them a while back, they just got boring, but this one brought the magic back.

[@rockah12]

I'd love to see someone try to novelize Quake in a Lovecraftian style. It'd be bizarre.

[@crashfalso]

rockah12 well there were about 4 Doom novels,and they were quite good so it could work!

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

That would indeed be bizarre because there's preciously little story or narration.

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

@@crashfalso They were sort of ok.

[@BirdRaiserE]

Just describe the levels but through in the word "cyclopean" every so often

[@Tonedefdom]

Quake was awesome because of the atmosphere (and brown castles.) when you're a teenager in the 90s, you aren't cynical enough to spot the things mentioned here, tho I can't argue with them now as a fun spoilt adult. Plus the soundtrack was killer. NIN

[@alangrogan9874]

Love that definition of "Passion" :D

[@yutro213]

"refrain from Moving" - soulless executive; LOL.

[@guineapig55555]

2:57 goddamn that is so accurate, how does he do it? This man is God

[@paulkerrigan9857]

Carmac is technically brilliant. I wish I were as good as him - he can probably code a 3D game engine in his sleep.

[@CacElect]

walking brain on a stick

[@rogerwennstrom6677]

Bit late to the party, but a comment about the nailgun thing in the video at 2:41 or so... There is still some reason for using the standard nailgun even once you get the super nailgun: The super variant costs two nails per shot and while each shot does more damage than a regular nail, it doesnt do double the damage... Meaning you get more "damage over time", but less "damage per ammo spent" compared to the ordinary nailgun. So, if you're short on ammo and only need to despose of minor enemies, you can switch to the regular nailgun and save some ammo.

[@cn.st.182]

that last metaphore was glorious!

[@acuteavocado1962]

i just got done binge watching the entire zero punctuation playlist again, and i have to say. going from yahtzee's first few steps ever to this video is insane because i can't shake the feeling he's yelling at me in this video. the level of enthusiasm or the quality of his mic or SOMETHING just feels more high-octane than his first few hundred ZPs

[@Gabri_Lovecraft]

1:40 You actually aren't far off. Quake was originally inspired by a DnD campaign that Id's development team played before development. Doom was also inspired by a different DnD campaign where Hell broke loose at the end.

[@cammameil]

Delightful. Thank you for making this.

[@anotherguyIoLoLo27]

Only Zero Punctuation and Judging by the Cover are being uploaded on The Escapist now. I didn't watch any other show here, but I remember there were fuck ton of them, so I gotta ask: Did they all left for another channel or something or Yahtzee just finally decided to murder them all and take over Escapist?

[@pedanticvampire8121]

Probably a bit of both...

[@melvinlangston3483]

They do streams from now and then.

[@anotherguyIoLoLo27]

Melvin Langston Didn't know there was escapist twitch (or wherever they are) channel.

[@creeperzone9]

If I remember correctly they split it all up into a load of channels dedicated to things, well the ones that escapes yahtzee's murder spree at least

[@anotherguyIoLoLo27]

Creeperzone9 That sounds more like it, thanks!

[@chrisdodd4014]

I loved this game when I was a kid. It didn't hurt that I was a big fan of Doom, and a big fan of Nine Inch Nails which for those who may not know Trent Reznor did the music and a lot of the sound effects for the game. Even the nail gun ammo had the NIN logo on them which aside from the satisfaction of working on what became a evolution in gaming, and working with the id team (Reznor was a huge fan of Doom) was all the payment he received.

[@TLOWNSU]

I nearly spat out my drink at 2:23 It's so true

[@AstraVex]

4:00 - Oh Christ, I forgot it was called that! xD

[@LuxFerre4242]

I love the little RotT blowing raspberries behind Quake,

[@TimSmithWordSmith]

Literally the funniest thing I’ve seen for months.

[@5hane9ro]

Interesting rewatching this after the Quake remaster came out. Far from perfect but God it's a great time. Knowing how quake is my main PC competitive game (specifically Quake live) it's nice having some level of new release.

[@UnchainedEruption]

One of the funniest reviews. I was literally dying of laughter XD

[@shockedhorizon5308]

you can tell that yahtzee likes a game when he gives all the monsters in the video unique looks

[@tommasosimonini4469]

bollocks, his next review is not on the escapist yet ! which i assume would be No Man's Sigh...

[@JobroskiSwaqqman]

It's up now

[@axeburningfire2507]

bollocks out for harambee

[@johnryan6019]

There's that and the fact that their website and video player are complete shit. I just wait the week

[@rukumotrashcan2420]

"No Man's Sky? More like, No Man Buy!" - videogamedunkey

[@axeburningfire2507]

Rukumo TrashCan *No Guy Buy

[@sasugalex]

You know, I just started watching these videos. They're fucking hilarious.

[@GuyOnAChair]

Honestly jokes about Quakes color aside it actually compliments it's atmosphere which I hadn't realized till now because I hadn't really played more than a demo back then. Quake 2 on the other hand is boooooring.

[@DJstarrfish]

Yeah, besides, a lot of the brown dreariness comes less from an artistic choice and more from a 256-color palette limitation. And you can't blame Half-Life for excessive use of cutscenes or linearity in modern FPSes, something Yahtzee stated before, so why blame Quake for the obsession with painting everything in grays and browns? For me at least, using muted color choices create an atmosphere is a bit like eating out with your friends at Taco Bell; it can be really good if you do it carefully, but overindulgence makes it incredibly easy to turn everything you see into diarrhea.

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

Quake has a lot of color going for it if you look around, brown is prevalent, but as said it does aim for a certain theme, you can't quite have a game be vibrant and cheerful like Super Mario 64 if what you want to portray is dark and grungy gothic horror environments.

[@oniakuma2392]

Also Quake gave us Team Fortress in 1996. Hell most of the Quake Mods were amazing, there was a D&D one and a SuperHero one that I still remember.

[@ramseydoon8277]

Like being in the festering, fetid bowels of ancient, infernal machinery.

[@jamesjenkins-ferrett6231]

The intro gets me hyped everytime!

[@MatthewCobalt]

That summary at the end about the life of the FPS genre is golden.

[@njintau]

Quake 1 was my fucking childhood man, the FPS's today can't even compare!

[@FeedbackRokker227FNAF5]

After watching the majority of these videos, this may be the funniest. "Please come out of the fridge" (brief silence)

[@Stingthehedgehog]

Oh looky Quake's on da switch now

[@namfow]

Best in a long time, well done!

[@Drinkabeerandplayagameofficial]

Oh quake, brings me back...and the jokes in this one...so vicious and hilarious

[@xBenedictumx]

Yahtzee, curious you didnt mention nine inch nails or the fact that you could use the quake cd as a music cd to listen to the entire soundtrack in any disc player....

[@LOLquendoTV]

I know this is a very old comment but that's sick. Wonder how that works on a technical level though? Cause CD data is stored sequentially, so I guess it tells the CD reader to ignore everything before the bits that contain the soundtrack?

[@nis5e]

I love the Zero Punctuation Imp *so much*

[@nis5e]

Why is 04:40 at 0.75x speed so funny

[@slayedtorest]

"REFRAIN FROM MOVING" nearly made me spit out my soup ;)

[@idnyftw]

wow, nailed it with the evolution bit

[@deadlykillah117]

How does this guy write his scripts? They are insanely hilarious and witty

[@russiandota3571]

One of the best videos Yahtzee has done yet! I get the feeling he gets funnier the more he likes the game

[@austinkaylor8084]

2:57 - 3:04 never have I been so offended by something so true

[@timburlingame5893]

I'm a little late to the party, but the super nailgun uses up two nails at a time.

[@jessenielsen9317]

I'm not sure what you said through all my adhd medication and my energy drinks, but I think I liked this video.

[@angeldeb82]

This is so very funny! I chuckled a bit at some funny parts! :D

[@thingjack1]

This guy is so savage I can't even handle it

[@rrni2343]

one of these videos where you just have to pause for time to time and laugh out loud.

[@SamFreelancePolice]

Having recently played Quake 1 for the first time, I find this video very relateable

[@mrmorten3612]

When I watch your Videos I listen to a instrumental Hip Hop beat and it's hilarious.

[@pallyboy6005]

"Man With Gun Esq." Being the main character was incredibly unique in Quake, and I never see people talking about how far ahead of the curve Quake was in Character Development. I mean, he's a *lawyer*!

[@AstralAbstraction]

I laughed my ass off at that last line XD

[@gamedoutgamer]

Thank you for this video. Quake has been, imo, the most influential FPS for PC gaming! Multiplayer was a riot of fun and we had so many great mods for it.

[@spinningninja2]

LOL I don't have to super focus on this video i just rewind it literally every 5 seconds

[@gunnersubbu]

Can't wait till he does No Man's Sky...

[@dneverend9]

www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/116922-No-Mans-Sky-Review

[@dneverend9]

it's suitably scathing

[@TrueBlueYoshi]

I believe the website is down, lol. Another Critic Ddosd because of his opinion.

[@DotNetPlays]

How immature and pathetic.

[@-lollipopsunder-7044]

it would be funny if he said he was working on it and put it off for almost 6 years.

[@iconocast]

no mention of nin sound track? one of the greatest

[@spl1tm1nd70]

Every time I watch one of your videos I learn a new way to curse!

[@hanro50]

Who stole my gold-plated time traveling 486?

[@YensAdventure]

That little graphic at the end is funny bc La Tour d'Espoir would mean The Tower of Hope. Ah the joys of Frenglish 😂

[@GranTruismo4head]

This is probably the last zero punctuation video in Australia for The Escapist and Yahtzee

[@kitsunahri]

i really like quake, the gameplay is fun and the music is awesome

[@waffielz3106]

suger honey ice tea, i was looking up web quake and this video popped up XD

[@ReverendTed]

Gosh darnit, Yahtzee. Though I guess I have only myself to blame for eating handfuls of dry Rice Krispies while watching Zero Punctuation. "Stale Weetabix and Paste" elicited a chuff that blew puffed rice all over my desk.

[@unclegus6604]

My dad introduced me to Quake that's what also got me into Nine Inch Nails. and now I just turned 30. Fuck I'm old.

[@jackiesantos2121]

I really love quake best restaurants shooter

[@Friday_WasTaken]

4:34! those are my speakers :D

[@DeadPixel1105]

"And then there's the Ogre whose job is to GET FUCKED!" I lost it there.

[@BugsyFoga]

awesome review yatzhee

[@LuisScharf]

It's quake. Awesome!

[@MajesticDemonLord]

Aaaaahhhh shareware - how many games of my cherished childhood were played thanks to you....

[@judsongaiden9878]

1:55 left brain (Carmack) and right brain (Romero)

[@Jazzcat135]

3:30 that old gem!

[@HamTransitHistory]

Quake came out in 1996. If you were 15 years old or younger that year, you're a Millennial.

[@RTDragonCommando]

Yahtzee should totally try the original Descent, or Descent 2. Descent pre-dates Quake and is one hell of a game for the time it came out.

[@TheInquisitiveMug]

Nice nod to The Eye of Argon with Carmack's D&D dialogue.

[@JinzoFiter]

2:23 "GET FUCKED!!!" I loved that xD

[@Roboterpunk]

Brilliant!

[@clayh254]

I enjoy watching these videos whilst I wait for the hidden doors to fly open.

[@NudeJawn]

Hexen: Beyond Heretic is one of the best retro shooters. Awesome Multiplayer

[@refusingtoconform]

If videogames were Lieutenant Dan, then VR is Forrest Gump.

[@KyuubiNaruto41]

People before asking when he will do No Man's Sky perhaps you should check the description box. He reviewed No Man's Sky this week on The Escapist, which will be next week for youtube.

[@ianconner321]

I agree

[@hurler1348]

so good :)

[@Gridseeker]

Hell Yatzhee, it was about time to do another retro review!