Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Zero Punctuation)

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This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
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#ZeroPunctuation #AnimalCrossingNewHorizons

[@theescapist]

Watch the Final Fantasy VII Remake Zero Punctuation episode early: www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/final-fantasy-vii-remake-zero-punctuation/

[@Azuth65]

I already pay for KZbin Red so, no.

[@SPM0717]

@@riobux3018 Meaning you're violently allergic to ads.

[@Suryp]

The link to the teespring store does not work.

[@SPM0717]

@@riobux3018 If you're that bothered you should have got Adblock.

[@theescapist]

@@Suryp Sorry about that! Sorted: teespring.com/stores/the-escapist-store

[@mrobbinsite9597]

Ah, Yahtzee. The most reliable and entertaining way to confirm that today was indeed a Wednesday.

[@Markus_Andrew]

It is? Time has ceased to have any meaning here in the ninth circle of - er, my house.

[@driftnick7022]

It is wednesday my dudes.

[@JorgeLopez-jd8ds]

Oh my fucking god its Wensday, tomorrow is my mom's birthday fuck

[@adamchapman4447]

@@JorgeLopez-jd8ds May the odds be ever in your favour

[@lordxamwethoudeis]

Or Thursday, if you live in the other side of the planet.

[@the_flaming_tree_troll9380]

"Are you violently allergic to ads?" Proceeds to give out an ad Me: inflates like the 100th red balloon and dies of anaphylactic shock

[@theescapist]

"Awkwardly looks around the room"

[@alfaayed6262]

how to send a comment a weak before the video release?

[@harrylane4]

@@alfaayed6262 patreon

[@theescapist]

​@@alfaayed6262 We're offering KZbin Memberships - kzbin.info/door/qg5FCR7NrpvlBWMXdt-5Vgjoin - so if you want to watch the videos right here on KZbin day of release instead of the website, you have that option now! Plus you get emojis, badges, and at different tiers other things like a bonus "Ask the Creators" video and even have your name engraved in the credits which will be added starting next month.

[@Andri474]

Big OOF moment.

[@Smellbringer]

Tom Nook: "Anyone want a free blanket?" Oh God, that's terrible. I love it.

[@Sardine_Sandwich]

Omfg I just got the joke lmao

[@GawainW]

Someone going to have to enlighten me on this so I get it lol...

[@Sorcerers_Apprentice]

@@GawainW It's based on the belief that European settlers gave Native Americans blankets deliberately infected with smallpox when they realized they had no immunity so they could clear the land of natives. It likely wasn't deliberate, since the diseases often spread ahead of Europeans and they didn't really understand how it spread.

[@johngancarcik5682]

I laughed too hard at that one

[@daviddoell1120]

@@Sorcerers_Apprentice Its part of Canadian education, our governemnt remembers it and doesn't try to hide it. Cuz well, the great lakes region was really fucking nice but it survived the accidental plague wave, so we did it with feeling the second time.

[@BJWeNeedUDefendingUsWithZeMG42]

*T H E D O O M S L A Y E R* still gets me every time.

[@Andri474]

Yeah, I wish that was still the case. The sequel game lost all sense of gravitas for me. Not going into a four page rant now, but "T H E D O O M S L A Y E R" isn't special or cool anymore. He's just another Master Chief now. Change my mind, comment section, if you can.

[@vintner_]

@@Andri474 I agree with you, tbh. All that background lore was quite dumb imo

[@90maducc]

Andri474 Master Chief on steroids. Or something more juicy than steroids.

[@ariesthefool]

​@@Andri474 1.Doom isn't meant to be taken seriously at least not enough to warrant using googled Latin words when "solemnity (which is basically the modern English version of gravitas btw) would have been enough and not be pointlessly convoluted for the sake of it." 2. coolness is subjective so while you dont think Doom Slayer is cool others like myself still think a space marine killing demons over the death of his pet bunny Daisy is pretty much the peak of what makes a FPS character cool to me. 3 Hes special because Doom Slayer is actually a 90s geek, if you look around the doom fortress you can find things like an old dos PC for playing classic doom which implies Doom Slayer is a gamer, he collects Toys and vinyl records showing his other hobbies. so far I don't think many other FPS characters show such a geeky side, even Gorden Freeman acts like a typical mute soldier. In 2016 his lava death animation is a terminator reference, sure its mostly a joke from the Devs but this builds up Doom guy into being a 90s action hero with a less obvious geek side to him.

[@janhulek785]

@@ariesthefool To partially use yahtzee's words: It's pander. What I'm not sure is what kind of pander. The good kind, that eats the bamboo and has sex once in a while or the sad kind?

[@logicallayman2267]

The replies to your etiquette questions are Fossils: work on a fair rotation Hat: wear it at least once Fish: 6 heavy thrusts or 10 shallow fast ones

[@calamaria9221]

I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+! I caught a dab! Not bad! I caught a sea bass! No, wait- it's at least a C+!

[@talltroll7092]

I caught an STD! It burns, oh God, it burns!

[@waterdamagedtextbook9858]

you forgot the black bass, did you know its the most metal of all the fish?

[@EChere]

I caught hermit crab! I think it wants to be alone

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

I caught a black bass! It's the most metal of all fish! I caught a black bass! It's the most metal of all fish! I caught a black bass! It's the most metal of all fish! I caught a black bass! It's the most metal of all fish! I caught a black bass! It's the most metal of all fish! I caught a tire! I sure am tired of that!

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

@@waterdamagedtextbook9858 sea bass are ocean fish, and black bass are river fish. You won't catch them in the same spot.

[@Alexandra-ez8rj]

People give Tom Nook shit but like I WISH I owed my loans to someone as chill as he was and that let me pay them off by fishing and catching bugs. Not to mention that paying them off is, ya know, achievable.

[@yourrapunzel]

And they’re INTEREST FREE.

[@hackcubit9663]

The fishing hip thrust reminds me of the the time I caught a shiny Horsea in Pokemon X in maybe half an hour's worth of fishing when my friend had been trying to do it for hours in her game.

[@MLPwny]

I let my girlfriend play on my island for a couple of weeks and she loved it. Let me just say, the island on her new switch looks great so far lol Yahtzee is right when he says that the gameplay loop and tedium are what hook you in. Its like grinding in an mmo except I'm not killing the boars, I'm buying turnips from them. Nook miles are also a great addition that make goals more itemized and easier to strive for. If you don't know what to do for the day just pop that bad boy open and knock out some easy daily goals.

[@ReleasedHollow]

"Well what can I do? Hands tied, it's wank o'clock" - Camgirls, 2020.

[@JohnJohn-yj6du]

So I didn’t know he got married. I haven’t heard about a girl in a while and wasn’t sure if they broke up or not. Happy to hear!

[@Ward1706]

Married, with a small dog and (brace yourself) a baby.

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

@@Ward1706 Oh, I heard they were expecting before, boy or a girl?

[@Ward1706]

@@0neDoomedSpaceMarine Little Girl I think. That seems to be the consensus.

[@killerbee2562]

The little dog died in a accident.

[@P-diddykong]

Just came around to say that this is one of the best videos he made and the fact that he's still going strong after so many years makes me happy

[@tomfranck8821]

1:01 that joke was 6 years in the making. gotta respect that

[@unstoppablefizz8848]

This game becomes a lot more interesting if you simply imagine that it's the prequel to The Island of Dr. Moreau.

[@talltroll7092]

The original quote was "Those who break Nooks' law, go back to the House of Pain", until the totally-not-a-racoon-totalitarian-regimes flunkies "advised" the writers to "keep it schtumm, see? Nyerrrr"

[@zparkplug2788]

this comment should be pinned lol

[@StrikeWarlock]

Makes sense when they're all animal people

[@jnerdsblog]

OK so I really enjoy this game and as was said, it has been the perfect lockdown timekiller. But it DOES bother me how the game turns from, hey let's inhabit this uninhabited island and have a camping adventure!, into 'we need more people BUILD BUILD BUILD!!!!!' as the island gets more and more crowded and less and less natural. I just want my escapism dammit.

[@Toksyuryel]

It's inevitable as long as Tom Nook is involved

[@madmonk3030]

Able to see the video as a member, so it's loading correctly! Looking forward to the newest Big Picture!

[@statelyelms]

"And if your hands are tied at wank o'clock, remember to untie them first (unless you're into that)"

[@sleeplesshollow4216]

This is definitely the most entertaining Review vid ive seen in recent memory from Yatz and thats clearing a high bar.

[@Oddman1980]

I once made a similar mistake, I had my wife try Stardew Valley.

[@TyphoidBryan]

Ditto. That one and Moonlighter were popular with mine.

[@hubblebublumbubwub5215]

5:10 Fun fact, Nintendo once used a Butthole Surfers song in a TV commercial

[@sagecolvard9644]

Which one? The only one I can think of that got popular enough to be used in an add would be Pepper, but that's not a song I can imagine next to a Nintendo product.

[@hubblebublumbubwub5215]

An early 90s one where they tried to out-edge sega. It was called play it loud or something.

[@kortmann9]

I immediately looked it up. That is the most 90s ad I've ever seen. I've never seen that ad before, yet I felt huge amounts of nostalgia.

[@thehermit8618]

I love how yahtzee always comes off as a massive tsundere when reviewing animal crossing games: "i played 100+ hours but its not because i LOVE it or anything...b-baka, stupid capitalist game". He obviously likes it but can't bring himself to be honest about it, probably in fear of being made fun of for not being his usual bitter, snarky misanthropic self

[@slicedtopieces]

I thought it was more along the lines of drug addiction. You don't like the stuff but you still do because you're chasing that fleeting high.

[@imageez]

@@slicedtopieces the simillar comparison he did put on Stardew Valley I guess. And for having zero experience of playing neither, I can't say what is the difference

[@theuserofthissite]

Kind of like how he always insults anime in extremely informed and specific ways that only someone who spent a lot of time watching it could pull off

[@swedneck]

@@slicedtopieces didn't he literally compare animal crossing to drugs in a previous video?

[@TheGodofweak]

Me and my girlfriend kinda do the same. I liked it for the first two weeks but got bored and have completely dropped it since but my gf has put a ton of hours into it, yet insists she doesn't like it, its just a way to waste time. She's constantly aggravated with the terraforming-tool thing and I don't know how to tell her she can stop. Meanwhile I'm having a great time with Doom Eternal and FF7.

[@lpsp442]

When you rename the series "Domestic Village Management Sim" in your head, Animal Crossing makes a lot more sense.

[@SierraBirb]

"It's wank o'clock!" Is probably one of the best out of context lines yahtzee has. XD

[@TrickyGamerJacob]

No body could have expected doom eternal and animal crossing to be the perfect match

[@herosui]

its refreshing to see someone outright say they dislike animal crossing, but still realize the little quirks as to why people like it.

[@ArifRWinandar]

5:09 is weirdly more topical than usual

[@azzzanadra]

the addiction to such kinds of games is well documented for me ever since i accidentally discovered harvest moon. for your information 6 pelvis thrusts are required if you get what your significant other wanted easily, less will give no satisfaction and more will cause them to jump on you and hate sex your- GEEE!! WILL YOU LOOK AT THE TIME??!!! IT'S WANK O'CLOCK! sorry, was gonna finish this comment but hands tied.

[@MajesticDemonLord]

"It's Wank-O-Clock" I'm dying.

[@igorpolyakov4113]

Animal Crossing: New Horizons reminds me of that FB game "Farmville". In the beginning, people were also obsessed with that game and the premise was similar (have to log on every now and then to take care of your crops and buy/sell new ones. Minus Tom Nook of course. Speaking of Tom Nook, he's like a "friendly" loanshark capitalist that gladly gives you stuff and money and hopes you pay him back, even if in a passive aggressive way (not that I ever played the game but I heard and seen the memes made about him in that regard). AC: New Horizons is the new "Farmville".

[@Limubi1]

The Last of the Summer Wine gag... *chef kiss*

[@fallenmind153]

I started over, and my wife looked at me like I punched a baby... She said... WHY!?!?!? Oh well... 🤜🦝

[@melonpalooza]

The Blue Marlin bit was me but with the Coelacanth. I had to chuck 20+ fish bait into the ocean and my cousin got it on the first bait. Sigh.

[@rence234]

0:57 I hope he had safe search on

[@iamaunicorn1232]

A metaphor for Animal Crossing "Well what can I do? Hands tied. Its Wank-o-Clock" ~Yahtzee Croshaw.

[@Panda_Roll]

To quote his new leaf vid:- This entire video is just Yahtzee denying the fact that he likes Animal Crossing.

[@Global00Vintage]

"Better dig me fossils." This really hit me. This last year and a half really sucked.

[@mrcomp1971]

5:24 Wait a minute I didn't come here to be personally attacked.

[@someoneyoufeelyouknow...6106]

1:01 "did you mean animal crossing *fan art*", we can only guess what was actually typed

[@NexAngelus405]

5:23 How the fuck did Yahtzee know about my morning routine?!

[@citruscatastrophyy]

Anyone want a free blanket- Alright, that earned a chuckle.

[@gyga100]

1:17 WHY THE ISLAND NATIVES HAD TO BE MONKEYS??????

[@leonardorestrepo9601]

That blue marlin joke is way too specific for it to not have happened

[@Devalation]

That was completely relatable! Thank you for conveying more humorously than I can.

[@imaginaryboy2000]

I love seeing these first-party Nintendo reviews because Yahtzee gets to talk about something at the core of the gaming industry after saying "it's a game".

[@scottgun]

5:15 Dang Yahtzee, 1985 called. They want their suburban stereotype back.

[@2Scribble]

Well SOMEONE'S not been paying attention to the world for the past fifty years - and I'm PRETTY SURE it ain't Yahtzee :P

[@scottgun]

@@2Scribble Not sure what that's suppose to mean, but that was a rare dud joke from him.

[@KyleDreeling]

As someone who has watched at least 80% of all ZP videos, this one might actually be my favorite. Well done Yahtzee

[@NostalgiaXV]

That dung beetle joke is the best thing about this year.

[@TheShiningYoshi]

Tom Nook couldn't be a gray goo apocalypse, not paying his loans slows his ever-extending grip on the planet.

[@EvilPikachu]

I made that ending comment about it being wank o'clock my best mates text message tone without telling him. Much fun ensued. Especially when I texted him midway through an argument with his missus.

[@thoriankel9145]

I was surprised that 5:31 wasn't blurred. Maybe my memory deceives me, but I swore he blurred those in past videos...

[@hilliajf]

"Hands tied... its wank o'clock" sums up 2020 so nicely

[@PokerPlayerJames]

Yahtzee's increasing frustration with The Escapist is joyful to watch.

[@thomastakesatollforthedark2231]

Rember to check out fully ramblomatic on Second Wind!

[@BlueBladerBot]

Rember

[@thomastakesatollforthedark2231]

@@BlueBladerBot poetry

[@Restilia_ch]

Vintage GameCube AC player here, all of this has been true since the very beginning.

[@nicklager1666]

The legend has it that if you dig at certain parts of the map you will find Yahtzees Borderlands 3 review buried somewhere.

[@IndustrialBonecraft]

I want to play the terrifying dystopia that develops in the wake of the death of Tom Nook.

[@neem2048]

Yahtzee: the only person that can get away with insulting the people that keep him in the air

[@JerichoDeath]

Ah, so that's why he got married.

[@ashardalondragnipurake]

if wankoclock becomes a shore you should switch hands

[@JohnQ5]

1:57 Wife?! When did that happen?

[@CMGThePerson]

I mean Doom Eternal is a bunch of fun demon slaying antics while animal crossing is about the struggle to make ends meet so I say there's a clear contrast

[@willstaffan3229]

Thanks for sending me down a "gray goo" wikipedia deep dive, Yahtz

[@makotoplush9776]

You sell stuff to Tom Nook and use the bells to pay your loan to Tom Nook. *STONKS*

[@thacc8216]

1:56 HOL’ UP

[@rexcorvorum4262]

How did the video about Animal Crossing end with the words ‘wank o’clock’

[@ct3000]

The ending hit hard

[@Vandermear]

Hands tied.

[@echoed800]

I am terrifyingly good at animal crossing I finish the campaign in a year because I started in winter and now I'm basically just like yahtzee

[@danielsjohnson]

So I listened to this as audio only because I was driving and I'm happy to say I understood 99% of what he said.

[@Rex_The_Mouse]

Cool another 'i like it but i dont like it' review

[@badbadbadkarma12]

Making Yahtzee do promo shit is just priceless.

[@Onyxs]

Referring to AC time as Wank o Clock

[@Dicker296]

Ohhhh, ¿so this could be considered a sequel to the classic Animal Crossing: New Leaf episode?

[@DragonAlchemist0]

5:08 ......... Well. He aint lying.

[@Deadsticle]

Well it's Wednesday and I'm not dead so I guess I'll watch Yahtz.

[@cloudbroken]

Did Yahtzee just learn about the "grey goo" concept or why does it keep popping up in his videos?

[@marksmithwas12]

So, what did you think about the Easter Egg event?

[@Psycho-Ssnake]

Can you make a video on the original Paper Boy game? Or perhaps A Boy and His blob?

[@M12GProductions]

Rune Factory. That is all. I cannot be stopped.

[@scaper12123]

Legit did not expect this review. Yeah it's popular but it's basically New Leaf+++

[@Overquoted]

TIL: Yahtzee has a wife. Mind blown.

[@LNSLateNightSaturday]

I hate when my hands are tied at Wank o'clock. Makes things so much more difficult...

[@tooyaigarashi5054]

I sometimes forget that yahtzee isn't in charge

[@thegasmaskwarrior341]

Tim nook is actually a saint compare to real life loan sharks

[@spamuraigranatabru1149]

Hey, Cargo Cult reference! Yay!

[@devonhart1820]

0:02 at least he's honest about it.

[@DragonAlchemist0]

Wait? Nintendo has been sending Kevin Bacon to threaten Yatzee?

[@alexanerose4820]

Sooo.... lockdown is pretty tight. Maybe Yhatzee can finally do the thing *cough*Hunniepopreview*cough*

[@wrtbak]

Walks with the animals, talks with the animals? Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals?

[@2Scribble]

Why can't we?

[@IAMimprov]

This is actually a very accurate assessment of all animal crossing games

[@PikaLink91]

I would play Animal Crossing, but I don’t like playing games that have no ending and can’t be beat.

[@Louis-qd5sw]

I came here for a review , I didn’t need that attack at the end

[@dystopianroyal4795]

I saw this as THE PC MASTER RACE EMOTE IS HERE

[@Nekucloud]

Yahtzee is the real Doctor Dolittle!XD

[@TheCreepypro]

the jokes have never been so on point this video is the epitome of it's funny because it is true

[@lazytv4318]

I want to cosplay as my spirit animal, Tom Nook, and gently threaten everyone with kneecapping to pay up or go down...

[@lollopingnoob9761]

Finna buy some merch

[@narkosak8783]

Six pelvic thrusts is the correct amount

[@mojotheaverage]

This is one Yahtzee's best videos ever