273. Feelings Change! (The Love Chat)

[@TheLoveChat]

Friends, Have you recently been through a breakup and need counseling? Check out BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/Rory - (Get 10% off using that link.) I am sponsored by BetterHelp. I believe in mental health

[@toel33]

For anyone who just broke up or still feels very sad, I just wanna say that you're gonna be okay! My ex broke up with me in February and I felt like my world collapsed. The thing Rory always tells us really helped me to get through the pain and to become a better version of myself. I kept working out, focused on mindfulness, graduated from college and I'm back at playing football (soccer) at a national level again after a few years of not fully committing. I feel better than ever before but most importantly, I feel like I'm a better version of myself before my ex broke up with me! My friends, you'll be fine! The healing process hurts. But remember that you're like a Phoenix. From the ashes will rise an even more beautiful bird. I believe in you❤ Lots of love from the Netherlands!

[@MyDarlingRocsi]

Thank you! I really appreciate the encouragement.

[@hennylo68]

Yeah you clearly aren't over your ex like the rest of us. Or else, you wouldn't still be watching these videos.

[@toel33]

@@hennylo68 I sometimes come back to learn, in case I find myself in a next relationship. I barely think about my ex but of course I won't forget her. But if by any chance I would meet someone today I can proudly say I'd be ready to try a new relationship.

[@hennylo68]

@@toel33 Then shouldn't you be watching these videos when you get in a new relationship? Why are you even thinking about a relationship period at this point.

[@toel33]

@@hennylo68 its just about getting additional knowledge. I barely watch em anymore but just felt like sharing my story to encourage other people. In addition, who are you to decide whether or not I'm at this stage where I could get another relationship? If it happens it happens man. You never know. I don't need a relationship but it's always good to be prepared so you can get the best out of it.

[@naekki18schlumpf]

Feelings change, indeed! I was devastated than my ex broke up with me. A significant family member had passed a few months before that, additionally I had lost my job 2 times within weeks. My partner was the only steady thing although I tried to stay positive and improve my life. And from one minute to the next I was on my own. I felt betrayed. I wanted him back. But I started to improve my life, found the job I wanted 180km away and moved. I told myself, that if he really wanted me back he would come for me. He didn't and I started to despise him and saw all the negative in our relationship... Now, two years later I feel indifferent. I changed my life for the better, recently I started dating and feel good about it. The relationship is now nothing more to me than lessons learned, positive as well as negative. Sooo... Your ex's feelings might change, but so do yours.

[@MarreFrusciante]

If my ex's feelings won't change, atleast I know that mine will in time if I continue with the self improvement, continue to grow and lead a better life. For me. Thanks as always, Rory

[@chasesebastian3064]

Going on 6 months of no contact after a 7-year relationship ended and I can tell you the feelings do change. In fact, oftentimes the feelings change on your side. My son reached out to my ex and she told him to never contact her again and to have a "nice life". After hearing that I finally realized that person I would never want in my life anyway. Good riddance! She turned out no to be the person I thought she was after I lived in a home and raised kids together.

[@dylanhettinger285]

its hard when they turn into someone else almost. feels like you don't really know them anymore

[@chasesebastian3064]

@@dylanhettinger285you don't know them anymore at this point. Believe me.

[@lols5851]

Do you even realize how many people's lives you have Saved from self harming, self punishment, Mental Torture and even from Suicide? Yes! You heard me right even "Suicide". In my religion, there is a verse "*If anyone kills "One" Human Being It means as If he has Killed the Whole of Humanity...and If anyone saves "One" life it means as If He has saved the life of the "Whole Humanity*"❤ And rory....You are literally a saviour and the BESTESTTTTTTT EXAMPLE FOR SAVING THIS WHOLE HUMANITY❤ God bless you buddy!

[@TheLoveChat]

I'm glad I could help you, Lola!!

[@oberynmartell4673]

@@TheLoveChat Glad to hear from Muslim, I am Muslim too ❤️ And thank you Rory you and DG really saved my life ❤️

[@iuidit2809]

woah, thats the best compliment ever

[@miacollado1301]

Thank you rory, I've been listening to your videos non-stop since the break up, I'm slowly coming to terms that my ex really did me dirty and I don't need someone like that in my life, today was supposed to be our 1 year anniversary together, it hurts but I'm pulling thru, Thank you again for everything 🌟

[@royjackson8613]

I met my ex and her little girl today after months of no contact and she gave me the really big hug.

[@darthdad1198]

Congratulations man I’m happy for you! My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago and she’s 12 weeks pregnant I did the begging and pleading but Obviously didn’t work LOL . Going in no contact and working on myself seeing a Counsellor and have emailed for a coaching session. Only time can tell I guess but I need to be the best Version of myself from my unborn child.

[@dasia7920]

One of the guys I dated from 3years ago contacted me today. We only dated for 2months btw. I completely remember feeling so devastated when we separated but now I really don't feel anything. He has contacted months after breaking up but I never replied. I got surprised today and realised that he's still thinking about me? Then I also realised that every other guy I separated with before have contacted me after long silences - i feel so good not having this attachment for them anymore it's actually amazing. I realise my own worth.

[@keithzizis4860]

Always remember your self worth. Glad to hear

[@womanfire9608]

Yes feelings do change. I was listening to you everyday for about 4 months during the time that my Ex and I separated. Actually, I stopped listening to you for more than a month. I can recall all the advices esp on no contact. I followed that and until now I haven't contacted my ex. Now, I don't have the urge to contact him and I am in a new and better relationship now. Thanks for everything ❤️ I thought I would not be able to get thru that pain but it is temporary and if you think about it ... that break up was best thing that happened to me.

[@loser4cent]

“Things change, people change, feelings change too never thought the circumstance woulda changed you”. That line...

[@whatid3782]

Damn PND here

[@riri91100]

Rory, you actually changed my life by telling me what was wrong with me. I mean your videos helped me opening my eyes. Even tought i'm still thinking about my ex from time to time (it's slowly fading away anyway), you made me understand that i had to fix many things about me. Things that not even my friends, my family, my father, or my mother would have told me. I think i've learned a great life's lesson because of you. About how it's important to live your life. How it's important to be happy by yourself. How nobody will save you, but only yourself can change things. It's been nearly one year since my breakup. Do i think about my ex ? Yes for sure. She was someone i deeply loved (heck like many dumpees i tought i was going to marry her !). But i've understood that my life is mine. I have to make it great. Nobody will help me about that. It's all up to me. I think you've made a man. Like, a man who can handle things, a man who will go forward. My breakup had to happen. And i had to find you to make me understand things. All i can say is thank you. I had a coaching with you, and i was telling you i wanted to be a great and good man, like "Charles Ingalls" 😂. Well it's still one of my goals. I'm working on that. It means being secure with finances. Secure about myself. Nothing will break me. Secure about my body. Secure about my feelings. And not afraid of anything. For sure there will be up and downs on the road. But life is great, and i'm living it. Thank you. (and btw i'm now helping some friends who are going trough the same things !)

[@martinoy6767]

Love ya Rory. I've moved PAST my breakup now it's time to let go of my ex so I can let go of the outcomes. Can't wait until I'm past it all and I can book a session or something to share what I've learned.

[@jonwright9266]

Thanks for being there. And your prices are actually super acceptable . I saw different coaches with prices up to $200 for 30 minutes haha so let’s appreciate that as well for a second

[@zayboogie_]

Thank you for these videos been in no contact for almost three months and its bc of you making me realize i gotta start to love myself bc at the end of the day im all i got fr

[@bugs62]

I’m hoping that someday he will find me again. I’m fixing myself for now.

[@Dordt3naar]

Fuck it, we dont need a second chance. THEY need a second chance!

[@heartbroken6627]

What a timing: just now, with paragraph after paragraph in my journal listing "reasons" I concluded with ".. but after all she is an emotional creature, she has to emotionally decide to come to me" (as opposed to me chasing, using reasoning, convincing etc etc)

[@AllegedLottoDiva]

So true.. ♥️my ex told me we will never communicate again.. now months later we’re back... 😂😂😂

[@rajatkumarnayak4294]

How did u get back ur ex? Did he came by his own or did u do no contact? After how many days of breaking up did u get back ur ex?

[@AllegedLottoDiva]

Rajat Kumar Nayak actually.. we saw each other at the store... feelings was still there... so his feelings for me did changed... together now..

[@AllegedLottoDiva]

Rajat Kumar Nayak yes.. it took months though honestly... but we did need that break.

[@rajatkumarnayak4294]

@@AllegedLottoDiva for how many months were u guys apart?

[@dzjoneshauser]

kuel

[@Bonzo2792]

Rory you have been instrumental in my break up process. I have never felt a pain like I have felt through this breakup but you have given me a sense of well being that even if I don't get my ex back I will leave this situation a better man. 1 month of NC and I am doing so much better. It still hurts and I still love her but I am already starting to see physical and emotional changes. I know how my ex truly feels about me and maybe she just needs the time to reflect on it. Thank you Rory, you may have possibly save my life. God bless.

[@TheLoveChat]

I am so glad I could help!

[@abhinavkumar5876]

I was waiting for this video since the time you commented on DG's video yesterday haha. Your videos are the engine of our sinking ship, truly. Thanks for your wisdom, it has helped all of us tremendously. Cheers :)❤️

[@spiderjump]

feelings can change in a heart beat .

[@bettyguo4482]

I gave my ex an ultimatum: to please not to text me unless he wants to reconcile. Did this to protect myself from future breadcrumbs. Been a couple weeks since and my mental health has been a lot better. Though I wonder if he’ll come back. I think he took me for granted (I took the initiative 90% of the time and he also said some means things to me under the “guise of teasing”)

[@kewl800i]

Looks like your ex is one of those who read PUA materials

[@cattea1667]

Sameeee... please give us an update.

[@bettyguo4482]

@@cattea1667 hey there! Sure! My ex never contacted me which worked out for the better. I met another person who treats me very well. He’s more mature and more reasonable. He is vocal on how much he cares about me and is more active in showing how he cares. He’s a much better fit for me and I feel blessed that I got to meet him. I don’t think about my ex much anymore. I kinda feel thankful for the experience bc I am more aware of the good things that should come in a relationship and it allowed me to meet the one for me :)

[@nationnat1025]

Topic idea: Does gender play a role in an ex coming back or it has nothing to do with it? Eg, men come back more than women or vice versa

[@RenskeLogie]

I wonder too

[@almogheeraalmamoun6993]

No

[@PeterAcrat]

Narcissists NEVER deliver a change worth accepting. Their 'feelings' are a distortion of values twisted and directed by fundamental wounds that REALLY NEED THEIR DEEP ATTENTION for healing - but will NEVER get it. In such cases, just get to the bottom of your own core beliefs and heal yourself. Full acceptance will set you free to be ready for the better person you will meet. Don't look back.... you're not going that way - Look ONLY Forward. Re-Imagine and reinvent the REAL love of your life.

[@serynaho]

So thankful for your videos youve stopped me from contacting my ex many times

[@cocotheblackcat3209]

Hope your feelings for us rory will never change😅 we love you

[@vanessap8717]

Congrats on your thing with the therapy. Glad to see you're connecting ppl with that type of help. You have a great channel.

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you very much!

[@kevinbucholtz6303]

Thank you again Rory, you have been such an inspiration and a voice of reason though my break up! I will never forget what you have done for me!

[@devankshid8851]

Rory all ur videos give lot of insight about relationships. No strategies n no tricks for relationships unlike other coaches. 👍

[@jaymean44]

As always Rory absolutely spot on! ❤️

[@utalap]

Hello Rory, could you please do a video on what to do for yourself if your partner is depressed or having a really tough time to the point that it's affecting the relationship? There's always videos on how to help the one who's going through a rough patch but very little material on how to help oneself if you're on the receiving end of your partner's coldness. Thanks a lot, just want you to know that your channel has been very valuable to a lot of people.

[@miali3261]

Hi Rory, first off, thank you so much for all the amazing content! They’ve helped me immensely during the past two months since I was broken up with for the first time in my life. It was absolutely horrible. Four months in the honeymoon phase and he decided we weren’t working out emotionally. I’m wondering if you can make a video on how to move past being stuck having the dumper at the back of my mind when I’m now in experiences that are positive to me, but as a result of the relationship? I’ve come to realize that one of the reasons why I was so attracted to my ex was because he possessed certain qualities I really wanted in myself. So after the breakup I’ve adapted those qualities in my own lifestyle: being very active(5/6 days at the gym), changed my diet same as him(mindful eating and mostly plant based diet), being more adventurous and try out different activities, connected with a therapist on better help and have been working through my past trauma from my parents, enrolled online courses for personal growth etc. now I do feel more empowered and I’m glad and grateful for these changes I’ve made. But I keep having him at the back of my mind when I do these things, especially the diet part because if it wasn’t for him it wasn’t even an option I’d have imagined for myself. He’s very firm in the breakup and jumped into another relationship straight away after breakup. It was a very intense relationship in terms of our feelings but I guess it was limerence and trauma bond possibly. I just have no idea how to get him out of my mind at this point when the relationship impacted me so much both emotionally and physically ... Take care 💛

[@larapires5272]

There is a song here in Brazil that says "by the natural law of the encounters I give and take so so many things". It's called Mistério do Planeta - by Novos Baianos, and is very beautiful. What I mean is that u should embrace the good things he left in your life. You can practice and honor him while doing those things. Honor his memory. You don't need to erase him. This is not even possible. Instead, let him shape who you are after him. He change you and you probably changed him as well and you will keep doing that living your life, respecting his decision and giving him some space. Your feelings about him can turn into gratitude and respect. The romantic ones, u should work. He needs to gain it back because he was the one who broke up with you.

[@miali3261]

Lara Pires thank you for the thoughtful words. I feel so conflicted - I do feel very grateful and appreciative of the things I’ve gained as a result of the relationship. But it hurts me to think someone I’d have given my heart to and opened up to so much, abandoned me because I wasn’t good enough for him(or suitable in his words). The fact that he straight went with someone else also hurts, not a single day went by that I do not think of him and the relationship, some days more than others. It scares me to think about if I’d always have these feelings for him. How would I be able to love again...but I guess only time will tell. 😟

[@larapires5272]

@@miali3261 darling you will, be sure of that. Went through the same 18 months ago and now I don't even care about him anymore! Already dealing with another breakup 😂

[@nikstar1313]

Love the new one Rory!

[@johndoe2184]

Would love to see videos on how to get toxic exes to change their behavior patterns with coming, going, taking advantage of, manipulating, ... begging you to get back together moving a block away from you then laughing at you and calling you desperate when you say you want to get back together too after 2 months of her begging lol

[@ariareon5966]

Omg! Perfect time! I just wrote you an email for counseling. Hahaha

[@deepikabali9199]

I see my person noticing me on my social media every 2 months lol😂🙈 but now yes here in India situations are very very different plus I have gone through my changes and I'm calm. If he comes then well and good great, if he doesn't well okay, I'm meeting new people always anyway. A second chance not always depends on them, it's all on both of you guys. Rory's advice really gives a bit bitter but practical tastes of life's most difficult situations, but these sharp advices help you get over your problems quickly and intelligently. Thank you so much for your help Rory🙏🏻👍🏻😊❤️💜💜❤️🌷🌹🌹lots of love!!

[@medicinekeysformrcps5025]

No contact changes feelings 👌

[@matusmoro955]

I love you for this Rory!

[@DaoraHD]

I broke NC and contacted my ex last night. I got a reply this morning and we talked about everything. She is with the person she left me for right now but she does want to hang out with me in person BUT she also doesn’t want to break his trust or disrespect him (even though she did that to me by hanging out with him while being with him). Anyways, I am seeing what happens with her. This video to me, looks like a sign. That maybe her feelings will change. She told me how shitty she feels as she has no friends anymore. Obviously to me, it looks like things aren’t going the best for her even though she claims to be happy and at peace with this person.

[@cinneadken]

If you hang back and don't reach out, you'll let this other relationship fall apart on it's own. You're not helping yourself by reaching out while she's in it with the other guy. She'll come back around to you once she sees it end with him, almost certainly based on what you're saying and then you'll look WAY more attractive to her once she compares their failed connection to your history

[@DaoraHD]

cinneadken Yeah, me reaching out was a mistake on my end. However, by doing so I learned that she has been stalking my FB, that she has been feeling like a shitty human being as she has no friends (her current boyfriend is her now ex best friends ex and that’s why they aren’t friends anymore) she is starting to feel what she lost. Even though she made it seem like this was the right decision, I feel like she is making it seem that way due to her pride. She sacrificed so much for 1 person who she doesn’t truly know if it’ll work out. Our relationship was great. She now claims we aren’t as compatible as she is with her current boyfriend. But we didn’t really have enough time for her to truly know that? Lol to me that’s an excuse. The fact that she wants to hang out to me shows that she is fighting with herself over what she wants.

[@OnderHassan]

I agree with Cinneadken. I reached out to mine in the same way and it made things worse. You’re letting them have their cake and eat it by not giving them the gift of living their life without you in it. You being in her life will only lower the chances of you getting back together because there’s no incentive to. I would walk away and see if she comes back on your terms. If she doesn’t, then you’ll have saved yourself time, grief and frustration. Also, don’t listen to a word she say’s because it’s nonsense. Women aren’t logical.

[@pjihae]

Onder Hassan I was with you until the last. Women can be quite logical. What you mean to say is that you don't think the women you have interacted with have been as logical as you, which I would say is a very subjective assessment.

[@OnderHassan]

@@pjihae It is subjective, I agree. There are some women who have a certain degree of character in order to stay true to their word. But on the whole, a woman will always be guided by her emotions as that's their natural default state.

[@minish9216]

Rory could you do a video about non-relationship relationships? (I.E. when you never actually date the person but get really close with them to the point where you basically are, aka friendzoned)

[@woodman5154]

Your wallpaper logo looks like it says "The Love Hat" if you take away the telephone. That would actually make a great April Fool's segment if you think about it, Rory.

[@dligon01]

This video has a precise point

[@gleaveinjapan]

I liked this.

[@Jcampbell4321]

My ex proclaimed her love for me. A month ago. We started looking for a house took both parents out and started again getting back together. I got into grad school. I am having the company I work for pay for it. Had to get it approved by out VP. I asked for permission which I shouldn’t have but I included her in everything. She agreed. Once everything checked out. She changes her mind. Says she doesn’t want to marry or live with a student. And that it’s either a future or school. (Mind we had already started looking for the house)

[@kewl800i]

What? she doesnt want a man with a grad school degree as a husband? I wonder what her standards are bro. Hope that you are doing fine

[@Jcampbell4321]

@@kewl800i got into therapy. Hopped on this channel again. Stephiscold and the roommates and like they all said. Tried to level up. It still hurts to think about man , but eventually she’s gonna see the grass wasn’t greener and I’m gonna be with someone way better.

[@cannoncrazy225]

Its been a year and i thought i was doing fine for the longest time... could you talk about the relapses in feeling down about a breakup?

[@thetransparentjerseygirl]

Binge listening your videos❤ thank you!

[@zoozooyifeifei]

Thank u so much for this advice

[@materiialart8226]

Its true.. thier feelings do change.. i have one of my exs contact right after i had another gf me. SHe said we will never get back and to move on.. now the ball is in my court.. you grow pass that..

[@rartchetfan7220]

Hey my ex just unblocked me out of the blue on Snapchat last week but I’m still blocked everywhere else she blocked me everywhere when we broke up 3 months ago because it was too painful for her to see me. Do you think the chances are likely she will unblock me everywhere else?

[@sharky4161]

Great content as always, thank you. Can you do a video on being blocked because they were angry with you then unblocking you please. Thanks

[@Xfiles4123]

I always have really random thoughts about both my last exes like almost equally, i don’t want them back or anything, but I get kinda angered by these thoughts because they pop up so unexpected it makes me think they are thinking of me which is a narcissistic way of thinking, how do I stop having these consistent compulsive annoying thoughts? Thanks 🙏

[@brandonmorris5811]

Was in the Army... hated it.... now I miss it. Too old to go back though lol

[@hgzmatt]

I can relate. It's very attractive when you aren't actually looking at the hard stuff but the good parts.

[@ll2058]

Hi Rory, do you think you can talk about dating paralysis? I don't know how else to explain it. I would love to date around and meet someone viable, but the thought of going out there again has become so daunting and exhausting. I wish I could date for fun or with no expectations, but now I feel terrified at the idea of being 'stuck' in another long term relationship that will end. Or even if it's just 1-2 month thing, it's just uncomfortable to reject or be rejected and I just don't even wanna deal with that. Emotionally investing in another person. I don't think it's a 'taking a break until you're ready thing'. I don't feel like I'm 'fed up', more like I want to date but I'm like a deer caught in headlights when it comes time to reciprocate interest or even to make a move. Thank you so much!

[@cinneadken]

I'm not trying to diagnose based on a YT comment only (and I'm no expert obvs), but you sound like you may benefit reading and watching Fearful Avoidant (FA) articles or videos... The worry/concern fatigue of relationships added to how you describe in words sounds like you may have some FA attributes. It's really hard but worth figuring out what type of attachment you have and working to make yourself more secure, more vulnerable and more comfortable with the idea that relationships ending or failing is just stepping on the various lilypads on the way to the shore of a successful LTR 💚 HTH, feel better, wishing good thoughts and luck to you

[@ll2058]

@@cinneadken Hey, you're actually spot on. I've been doing therapy for the past year and learning a lot about myself and my attachments. In my experience, I've always grown by leaps and bounds on my own and then feel like I regress or stagnate in a relationship. I think I am better off alone as soon as I get a whiff of 'neediness' from my partner and then I also experience anxiety and a need for validation if I'm dating a partner who's feelings I can't read. Either way, I don't like the person I become in a relationship so maybe that's why I feel such aversion to get back into dating, as much as I miss the aspect of intimacy. Thank you, I'll check out more books/videos on that!

[@ILORl]

you kinda give me some peaceful feelings

[@77BLAZER77]

Please make a video about the indirect direct approach, for example my ex has reached out 3 times in the past months after been broken up since January, she brings up random crap to ask about and then disappears and doesn't engage in conversation when i try.

[@ruthcastellon3905]

Hello, would you be able to make a video about monkey branching with the other person being in long distance, (other country)?

[@karenzhang1020]

Do you think dumpers would reflect on how they actually treated us and what _they_ should have done to make the relationship better? Or once they walked away they would never think about it anymore?

[@JaskaranSingh-eq7ok]

I think most times they do. If your relationship was good at any point of time and both of you said and meant that you loved each other, even the dumper would at some point hurt and reflect on what happened that led to the break-up. Will probably take longer for the dumper to get to that stage compared to the dumper though.

[@karenzhang1020]

@@JaskaranSingh-eq7ok Agree. I would always reflect even after years of BU (when I was in the dumper position).

[@JaskaranSingh-eq7ok]

@@karenzhang1020 yea exactly so don't chu worry they'll think of you for sure cos you're worth it...just hang in there and he'll regret dropping you...you're worth so much more than you know...take it day by day

[@karenzhang1020]

Jaskaran Singh Thank you! I do believe it. If he has a heart he would realize what we had was pretty good and how he took it for granted. I am not saying I did perfect, I have things to work on myself too. But I definitely tried to make it work, he gave up on us.

[@nrlsyqn]

He told me we should not talk anymore. I've been radio silence eversince. 2 months later he got a new gf. I'm trying so hard to be happy for him.............

[@larapires5272]

how do u know? try to keep yourself away of information about him, it will help you to avoid overthinking. this new relationship is probably a rebound

[@nrlsyqn]

@@larapires5272 maybe yes maybe no. He just seems happier. I disabled my social acc just cause i didnt wanna see anything i didnt wanna see So yes been avoiding checking on him etc. So thats good i guess.

[@larapires5272]

@@nrlsyqn u don't have to be happy for him right now. You love him. Accept that and do what u gotta do to be okay right now.

[@dzjoneshauser]

She unblocked me and started texting me, again. Trust me, I am NOT doing things they way I did b/4. Will C where it leads....

[@mlggaming838]

My ex said she didn't know if she wanted me in her life anymore. So I ended it and walked away. Been broken up for 3 weeks and in NC right after the break up. I told her if she changes her mind to let me know. Does NC still work?

[@noonodaa]

Yes.

[@jace1032]

roryyy, I've been listening to you the whole months from may - august and then i stopped listening but of course i pack all the Advices u gave to me so yesss my ex came back amg she begged but i didnt give her a 2nd chance (but deep inside i wnt her back and maybe that's the time but in my mind I dont wanna be in that situation anymore soo after 3 weeks of communicating with me... she suddenly goes back as what she is lol like nothing happens, and now i'm seeing her interacting with some of my class mates in their social media acc and that guy is her crush before but yeah i was the one she faill in love and that's why we became in a relationship but then that's the guy again she interacting now, I thought i was okay now a little feel better but all the pain i've been through this past couple of months just go all in coming back to me. I'm in the bottom pit of agony and pain again, She hurt me so bad. :)

[@lindakafexholli7085]

This is beautiful video! We should work with ourselves ❤️

[@tindplus3505]

You are the best

[@leaderrr7992]

Can u make a video on when an ex goes back to an ex

[@Lev15157]

Iv been going on 2 months no contact untill the other day. My Ex girlfriend sent me a letter and in the letter she said that she wishes life didnt Jane to change up on us so soon and that shes been really struggling to move on from me. In the letter she also said she was moving to another city next year and I honestly feel more heartbroken than when we actually broke up, I was on such a good path of self improvement but since I learned that she was moving away to start her new life I've been broken, I messaged her and she said she wanted to see me in a week to 2 maybe and I said I was glad she wanted to see me and shes read the message and hasnt replied. I'm really scared that shes gone forever, we were perfect for each other how can i get her to see that I'm the one that she wants. Can her mind change about moving? Edit: I just added a no in front of contact

[@chinonsoibe2384]

Is she moving because of school, work, or just for her own personal reasons? If so then you know it’s nothing to do with you. Just her wanting to move.

[@mohammedrehan8012]

What about when they left you because they weeent over ex ( 1 year relationship with me ) , few months with ex

[@BlurryGhost]

I've been in no contact for over a week now. It still hurts. My sister is friends with her and she says she was wondering why I never messaged back after her breakup text if I let her know I want to work it out and didn't want this. She is blaming me for everything right now. I'm just giving space right now and am aware of what I did. She's not saying anything she did. It wasn't out of the blue either. I'm trying to not hold out hope.

[@ashiqislam8309]

When is the new live chat coming up?

[@isthatpanosg5350]

but what about "friendzone" ... does friendzone change? (no contact for 3 months and the last week they be sending random messages and calling me, but not initiating anything. Long distance tho)

[@champdukeNTG]

Hey Rory, my ex still wears shirts that I gave her, is this over analyzing or a sign that she hasn’t entirely moved on? It is a workout shirt from my team that she is wearing, for more context.

[@stormfalcon72]

champdukeNTG You really shouldn’t be aware of what shirts she’s wearing... If you know what shirts she’s wearing you’re too close and too invested.

[@joshuadsouza8414]

Hey roary big fan from india I've been following ur channel since the past year and even mentioned ur channel in my daily journaling I have a question the girl of my dream reached out after months 3 days ago we agreed to meet then I asked her to video call me then she says can I call u tommorow I said sure then it's been 3 days I havent heard from her. is she back to her old behaviour because for past 9 months of no contact she contacted me only twice I never initiated she initiated by replying to my what's app stories. Any advice would help and thanks roary.

[@mollied4905]

Rory I know you say we're not using manipulation but in terms of the psychology aspect of saying yes or no to friendship with an ex you want back, Would saying yes and then disappearing (except for posting on social media) have an effect and let them think 'wow!! they're cool with this? and trying to move on?'

[@TheLoveChat]

The problem is that there is no way to guarantee exactly what they will do. Part of manipulation is intent - so if you're knowingly doing something to manipulate someone else...then...yeah.

[@saimamalik1962]

helo Rorey hope u doing gud my ex leaved me aftr 11 yers bt giving excuses of family etc..nd finly brokend up vd me im hrlpless...plz do repli wat would i do do i have any chance....plz replii Rory im v8ng fo ua repli

[@no1zzle3]

Nobody has shit to do on Saturday night, damn covid!!!! 😭

[@Mrskittykat554]

I’m in love with my boyfriend he says that e cares a lot about me but that he is not love with me. So I broke up with him, he wants to stay together but it just doesn’t make sense? P.s. this sucks 😞

[@jayvinlancioni9473]

I’m 7 weeks in and I want to break no contact so badly. I think I may break today

[@TheLoveChat]

I'd call a good friend or therapist before you consider doing that. Don't base a permanent action off a temporary emotion!

[@daniellindsay3145]

Don’t do it! It won’t help!! It will make things worse! Let them come back on there own!! It will be better cause then when they do, the ball will be in your field. And it will make them respect you

[@annakam4643]

Don’t do it! I got onto day 45 and was crying because I thought he would reach out atleast to see how I’m doing. Atleast a wellness check on me! My friends told me “obviously he doesn’t care about you, he’s not thinking about you as much as your thinking about him” then on day 46 he reached to see how I am. A miracle! We had a nice pleasant convo and now it’s back to complete radio silence. But tomorrow, I’m going to post a FIRE pic of me on ig I took weeks ago..strike while the iron is hot! Let him see what he’s missing!

[@gabrielnunez8325]

Does NC work after a person leaves you the second time?

[@blackreign8933]

gabriel nunez yes it does be strong

[@kelja2818]

I'm in no contact and in highschool will no contact still work she said she just lost feelings

[@kelja2818]

Nothing really happened and we dated for a year

[@dzjoneshauser]

In the words of Arnold - 'she'll be back'....

[@AnuragSingh-em9tl]

Hey my ex just broke no contact with a hate full msg ... after 6 months..... please some one help me

[@hgzmatt]

Probably not worth responding too. Don't validate your ex for acting like that. Nothing you say will change their mind.

[@AnuragSingh-em9tl]

@@hgzmatt thanks brother

[@hgzmatt]

@@AnuragSingh-em9tl I've tried.. but somebody who wants to misunderstand you just can't be reasoned with. :/ At the very least they should take responsibility for their part in this.

[@AnuragSingh-em9tl]

@@hgzmatt thanks

[@surajchetry183]

Hello sir...I made some small mistakes which actually cost my relationship...I begged and pleaded to her to stay...and I realised my mistakes and tried to improve also..I just asked her a last chance but she denied and left me....I still miss her...what should I do now ??

[@TheLoveChat]

Time to focus back on you!

[@surajchetry183]

I'm improving sir day by day....and I'll try my best to not to make such mistake again.....but I told her many times to give me a chance and also told that I'll not make these mistakes again even i promised also....but she still denied to stay with me..

[@huyentrangvuthi7328]

Go completely No contact. Work on yourself. Improve yourself. Do anything to make you grow. I begged and pleaded for 4 months and he couldn’t be more cold. He never ever tried that hard to burn all the bridges then I can leave him alone. Because he was with his ex! And I went into NC for 3 months and guess what!!! He reached out 3 times last month. But I don’t want him anymore. I am now much better without him then I ignored him. Now he is playing blocking and unblocking on social media. I am so excited to see how he can handle his pain after months happy with rebound relationship before he broke up with me. Work on yourself then you will see the magic that maybe you will see the big picture that your ex is not the right one for you !!! Stay strong !

[@heartbroken6627]

@@huyentrangvuthi7328 can I ask, for how long were you together? And for how long before was he together with his ex?

[@cinneadken]

You can't ask for a last chance. No contact is for you to fix yourself and also to avoid doing more damage (which asking her is actually causing). She MUST have it be her own decision to reach out to you, you can't provoke it at all, else you'll just push her away out of her annoyance that you aren't leaving it to be her decision. Humans always want to feel like what they do is their own choice and trying to beg is just putting negative pressure to force her to go against what is currently her own choice - but as the video days, her feelings will evolve and change with time, and likely at some point will cause her to question about breaking up. Unfortunately it could take an hour, a week, or a year... You just don't know. I didn't understand that when it happened to me at first, and of course it's painful to imagine that it COULD take months or years, but that's just the way it really is, hard as it is to hear. Stay strong and remember the self improvement is not just for a few weeks, it should be a lifelong effort - be grateful for the opportunity to learn that lesson through this breakup. Self work, gaining insight and perspective, learning mindfulness, being healthier physically and mentally, developing coping mechanisms, learning patient and empathy, and applying and improving all of it never ever ends

[@angrybird1960]

no subtitle :(

[@techadventures6645]

I dont care feelings change. I get denied one time only, and i'll denie you the rest of your life.

[@TheLoveChat]

Be careful not to let that fester and turn into resentment. That only harms you!

[@banned3474]

@bene nuts you're pretty much denying the break up and still haven't accepted it. What you are going through is hatred towards your ex. Just accept the fact that you two aren't together anymore and start working on yourself and reflect. Its gonna take longer but it's never too late to start.

[@eldanny2880]

It's not denial or rejection...it's more like selection.

[@cinneadken]

Ironically, your feeling will almost definitely change bene nuts with time. If you meet the right person, you'll stick through and forgive as many times as it takes...

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

Had a call with you a year and a half ago. We made a bet. Never heard from her again. You owe me $10

[@TheLoveChat]

Well if the terms we set are "never again" ------- technically never again hasn't happened yet.

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

@The Love Chat ...no sir. The terms were 7 months. Nice try :)

[@TheLoveChat]

@@albertodeulofeu5277 PROVE IT!

[@octaviorex244]

I hate the new logo

[@TheLoveChat]

Make me a new one! :D

[@UnknownUnknown-ty9yg]

Rory, you know I love you, but this logo...it ain’t it. X

[@TheLoveChat]

Personally I love it!

[@UnknownUnknown-ty9yg]

The Love Chat and that’s all that matters! X