Theo Tells Riley About A Girl He Knew

[@StoneAquatics]

Dude just blankly staring at Theo as he says soft tity has me down

[@throwinsomeds]

His blink pattern when he said tht to lmao

[@anthony8241]

Asian dude looks like nothing has ever impressed him his entire life lmao

[@justingoham1605]

Looks like he got all that booger sugar on his nose to lol

[@throwinsomeds]

@@justingoham1605 oh shit it does lmao

[@glock-kay]

He's gotta be a robot😂

[@bradleykrolak]

"I was always embarrassed the fish would look like me" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@bacephalus2199]

Soft tittie , body magic , pravede semen out of my body,. This Motherfucker is funny, but when high and drunk .. his ability to tell a story is f****** phenomenal.

[@charisselinnell-morton4137]

Hahahaaaaaaa😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@michaelcelani8325]

​@@charisselinnell-morton4137 That's. just Crazy. !

[@kaijuk]

I can see it too 🐟 with his face👀 😂😂😂

[@space_1073]

Dude the cut to Riley not reacting whatsoever is so funny

[@Str8ABH]

The triple eye blink was a “knew this would be about semen somehow”

[@skepticlunar]

Riley definitely has ptsd from Theo Von and his stories

[@angland3263]

😂😂😂

[@tamidial6147]

😂😂😂

[@Joshua-ps5de]

Balderdash! Young Riley wlll be just fine. Nothing years and years of constant and heavy drug and alcohol abuse can't fix...

[@tamidial6147]

@@Joshua-ps5de Oh most definitely!! Im living proof.

[@Joshua-ps5de]

@Tami Dial me too! I was about 12 when my daddy sat me down, and I'll never forget the wisdom he passed on to me that day. He said, "Boy, life is hard, living is hard. There ain't no get rich quick, and there ain't no free lunch, and anybody that tries to tell you different is trying to fuck ya. And not in the good way either. And if you're going to be dumb, you need to be tough. And if I was you, I'd work on toughning up. You take after your mommas people and everyone of them is dumber than a bag of hammers. With that said, you are going to hear people say that you can't drink or dope away your problems. Well they're just a bunch of square, candy ass quitters who aren't trying hard enough. So you tell them to mind their own goddamn bidness, and to keep it moving." He was a wise man.

[@theoverlyingTRUTH_NINJA]

"Wristing me out" 🤣🤣

[@ludlaw2055]

"Body Magíccc"

[@eddiedevereoxford4995]

Magique.

[@gptheog4667]

​@@eddiedevereoxford4995 majique...

[@christophernoble76]

riley added so little yet so much to this😂😂😂

[@TheBlackMambaa248]

“JO’d me out” is such a perfect phrase

[@antoniosalcedo8656]

The truth will be in the fish 🎣 😂😂😂😂

[@lukenoland4918]

wristing me out 😂😂😂

[@xSaTaNiZeDx]

Theo has to have extra electrified brain cells coz these stories are way out of this world😂

[@thegnosticalien]

Riley mau the only person who can sit in a room woth theo not laughing at the absolutely asinine things that come out of its mouth

[@tul5124]

I fucking love Theo. God dammit everything he says cracks me up.

[@Skysoldier_45]

Theo being Theo…..Riley : 👁️👄👁️

[@Iamvelcrogirl]

Ejacked 😂

[@luratabb9618]

Sounds like an internet theft

[@IsThisAmerica1]

This is such a ridiculous and innocent story.

[@davidginchereau]

His story are just stupid and totally made up. Like not even amusing at all. Nonsense

[@dgh4918]

​@@davidginchereau whatever dude, don't listen.

[@R0NYFL0NY]

​@@davidginchereau cry

[@Rowsy91]

@@davidginchereau they’re made up but they’re hilarious 😂

[@ddray1992]

@@davidginchereau have I got some stories for you.

[@tristanpYGO]

The cut to Riley just not reacting 😂

[@beacurnearecurvata188]

I love when Theo adds random detail to the story like in this case "in the area"

[@jameslockhart8250]

Theo lookin like he got more swag in his bag these days

[@michelangelo3879]

riley’s praying for theo

[@somedude414]

"I remember I was in love with this gal..."

[@jimmymasterson5607]

I recently discovered this guy... I've been laughing non-stop since.

[@Gibsonlussier]

“Next thing you know I ejact into the stream”

[@starrl5065]

That shit took me tf out!

[@ju5t_r4mir3z4]

Theo is so innocently dumb it's hilarious. He's not stupid by any means but some of his thoughts make you go "huuu?" 😂

[@CC-ge5fo]

That’s the bit.

[@sequoiageorge6163]

Oh. My. Fucking. Gawww. The shit he comes up with is just too fucking good🤣🤣

[@luratabb9618]

I'm from Louisiana can promise you he's not coming up with it. Lol we out here every day!

[@gina4569]

The slow blinks 😂 dude really doesn't know whether to take him seriously 😭

[@buffywinfree]

Cue the Theo/fish pics 😂

[@brandijenkins3351]

Theo just makes the craziest shit up all the time

[@jetfajita]

"I rememba dat" lmfao

[@schmoshizzle3853]

“In our area” Lmao

[@Smackblood]

And the point of the story "So I was always embarrassed to go fishin' after that"

[@littledancingfawn]

Theo is such a simple man. Lol. Took him a long time to become worldly.

[@scroofio]

so romantic!

[@smn23sro]

I’m absolutely in love with Theo! The way his mind works amazes me lol

[@janepatton2907]

Theo will say anything!!!! I love him!!

[@PennyisBananas]

It took me a while to realise Theo is a legit actor who plays a character crucially close to his own persona. So clever and fucking hilarious.

[@Alicia-gx5bo]

Riley requires the cartoon blinking noises at all times. *blink… blinkblink*

[@thishandleisnotavailable]

The silence is frightening

[@NailFactoryProds]

He's just next level. Genius

[@Justboatfishing]

Started with a love story, ended with a bunch of impregnated fish…

[@TracyHancock-sk4gy]

Theo created his own Pono movie in his head at that moment! 😂😂

[@holysinaa]

The things this guy talks about always fascinates me 😂

[@yazziesez]

I want my brain cells back

[@arnoldmmbb]

Riley be like 🗿

[@CCitis]

I love Riley May. Never change brother.

[@NG..]

This is why I love Theo, he’s so honest, even when it’s something he was embarrassed about. He’s someone we can all look up to.

[@ironpatriot-no6lt]

A master of words 🙌 👏 😆 🤣

[@andymullarx6365]

Riley was great. The best part of his show.

[@itsacircleda]

Nothing ever phases Riley. He would be the ultimate priest. No matter what you said to him of all the horrible and nasty things you've done he would just continue to give you that unimpressed, passive look with hard blinks the whole time. It seems like everyone just tells him too many real personal details of stories he never even asks to hear.😂😅

[@vannahloveforever]

Sometimes he says something that really breaks the brain for a second

[@emmapaynter9893]

This is fucking nuts even for Theo

[@crystalhudson3044]

He is nuts 🤣🤣🤣

[@melissadunn6394]

His mind is so wild, I love it!!!

[@lamarholliday]

They got the heat on high in that studio.

[@YTultimatetroll]

“E Jacked” lol

[@danielgulutz6761]

"Somehow, they would know" 💦🐟🐠

[@stephienotcurry]

this is the best theo story ever🤣🤣

[@paintedladyabbey9222]

Someone tell Theo I got some real softies 😂

[@tonyasperry5144]

Lmao dude was like 😑

[@GETFIT-247]

This is just.his personality.... it's a funny personality

[@speaktheunspokentruth]

Dude blank stare 👁️👄👁️

[@mykal2803]

Even though his stories are always made up. I appreciate them. 🙏

[@soniadesjardins104]

That's called psychosis Theo 😂

[@downwardsaerial2239]

Put riley on more its hilarious

[@jakescriven9705]

The mullet rat tail fish is notorious still to this day haha obviously the mullet being pronounced like buffet

[@shara1979]

there's been the occasional spotting of the rat tail mullet gullets in streams across the south.

[@SetkoM420]

He gave the fish some man caviar. .

[@gunnelismayilova6177]

You never know where he is going with his thoughts

[@thubelihleqinisothango6856]

"Body magik"😂

[@khozyyy2474]

The fish in that lake probably all have little mullets 😂

[@preacher_says]

The truth will be in the fish *x files theme plays*

[@claireday8593]

WTF this guy cracks me up 😂

[@larryturner6866]

This guy's brain is indescribable!! Funny as hell though

[@crazestyle83]

Theo kills me 🤣

[@kylieshaye6562]

I thought if I touched myself a fetus would begin to grow in my hand. Those were scary times.

[@MrOrthodox13]

This sounds like something your parents would tell you to prevent you from touching yourself.

[@garybacongrease]

@@MrOrthodox13dude that is how you make your kid THE MOST fucked up

[@neondreams0514]

​@@MrOrthodox13 I've heard of hairy palms but never fetus hands, yeesh

[@apapz3245]

In your hand?

[@cindyo6298]

That is really morbid and terrifying

[@TheAustinTalbert]

Riley is constantly out to fuckin lunch

[@jusurluck6094]

This is the best story ever

[@dang5796]

He is so fucking funny! Worried the fish might look like him and people would know.🤣

[@margoomahony9565]

Good giddy god I could not have seen that story coming 😂😂😂

[@pequenatea]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 pay that fish support

[@LucasLazerLife]

Just when you think you heard Theo say all there is to say…

[@SJ-tb2wq]

This dude is wild af

[@savage77z]

Ok thats my new favorite.

[@perpetualgains6559]

This man is like, I don't even know how to describe it😂

[@sleddi98]

“ I remember I was in love with this guyal”

[@sarahcook895]

The man’s a prophet

[@Paul-fq4mm]

Thought he was going to go fishing and someone was going to pull out a fish that looked like him lmao. He tells stories about everything as kids think about before you know... 😂 😂

[@milamcgonigal2453]

literally wild

[@Uncivil_Dreams]

ayoo just the wrist😂😂

[@Howthemusefoundmagicrec]

I ❤ this guy's magic!!!

[@deluxetoaster3991]

The truth was in the fish😤🤯

[@SR71GIRL]

I can't even imagine how his brain works😅😂😅

[@jakelang806]

I have a feeling in about ten years we will have Theo Von jokes the way we have Chuck Norris jokes

[@net7046]

As the fish in the stream I can confirm this is true

[@elise9537]

the other guy wondering if he can work again in this field after this one :))

[@KB_Kickz412]

Gonna have fish look like me, scared to go fishing got me 💀 bro 🤣

[@jacksonsparrow8865]

Hahah riley mao just staring blank face no emotion

[@yochips848]

the truth would be in the fish 😂😂😂😂😂

[@kimberlyrobinson6690]

I love Theo for INFINITY ❤❤❤❤❤

[@IknowIamkindagreat]

I caught a Theo Von fish once....

[@BigSpinRecords]

Reminds me of jokers laughing fish from the comics