Dax Shepard and Theo Get Real About Their Struggles in Relationships

[@straightcashhomey1261]

In all seriousness, for anyone who has struggled with women and addiction this is a great listen

[@0ddfuture1234]

me too and im a woman and can def relate

[@dreamchampagne]

Dax talking about comparing where he was in life to his daughter at 9 made me so teary eyed. This is wonderful to see such genuine male vulnerability in this day.

[@ReekRendTest1]

"Spilling your feelings to a female is like bleeding next to a shark." 💯 This will give women the ick, they will say cruel things, they will abuse you, they will flee from your display of weakness - DON'T FALL FOR IT. No matter what they say, women do not want a man who shows weakness or vulnerability. That being said, there are certain things that may allow you to get away with it and keep her, like being rich and/or famous, or a violent felon and/or serial killer.

[@MurronWright]

@@ReekRendTest1I hope you find a woman who treats you well.

[@lcd2426]

@@MurronWright Ha "a woman that treats you well" that's a misnomer

[@mikek7660]

@dreamchampagne that moment was the peak of the entire clip. Having kids reconnects you with your kid self in ways you'll never understand until you get there

[@kellyc6328]

@@lcd2426not every woman will hurt you just like not all men will hurt women. It sounds cliche but you can and will find the one, normally when you least expect it. I'm a walking cliche but I don't care because I'm happy.

[@sunshinecr1]

Therapist here…..tremendously glad to see two men talking publicly, openly and honestly with each other about their past mistakes and struggles. I hope more men will be inspired to do this from watching these kinds of things. Respect to Theo and Dax for sharing 🙏🏻

[@steelearmstrong9616]

You will always only get honesty when men open up

[@nr126]

You think men don't speak open and honest with eachother?

[@sunshinecr1]

@@nr126 I didn't say that. I said I was tremendously glad to see these two men doing this to inspire MORE men to do it. Over the 30 years of working with folks I've talked with many men afraid to open up so deeply and transparently in a broader public way - whether thats in their sphere of friends, or, with strangers as well. Watching men support and encourage each other to do so is AWESOME! It's delightful to watch this broadening transparency happening. I honor and respect the men leading the way in this regard. I hope this clarifies for you my meaning and words.

[@coreythall]

one man, one fucked up person of ovethinking

[@Owlsworthy]

@@steelearmstrong9616I mean… anyone who “opens up” is being honest. That’s what opening up means lol.

[@Waters-Crystal.Waters.]

“You can’t break up with me, you’re my mom” dang Theo 😂😂😂 thanks for the honesty.

[@RealMTBAddict]

Honesty? He said it was a slip. Pay attention.

[@StephenIC]

​@@RealMTBAddictthey meant the honesty of admitting that he said it on a podcast you condescending retard

[@StephenIC]

​@@RealMTBAddictthey meant it was honest of him to admit that on a podcast you condescending idiot

[@DKasp]

@@RealMTBAddict 🤨

[@MessagesFromAurora]

​@@DKasp😂

[@marshallwilson3668]

“Freudian waterslide” 🤣

[@RealMTBAddict]

Typical for Theo 😂😂

[@davidjosh5640]

The boy is so quick.

[@stayput2011]

Honesty is the best story Thank you handsome men Wish you happiness

[@davidjosh5640]

@@stayput2011 tf?

[@pqlr8763]

Came down to comment that as well haha!

[@80islandia]

“You can’t break up with me, you’re my mom.” Wow. Thank you for your honesty. I think I would have fast-tracked my understanding of codependency if I had heard that level of truth from a male partner.

[@BD-1-And-Only]

I relate to this so hard lol. I always get with girls who want to “mother” me. Mommy issues at its finest lol

[@michellet.7835]

As a woman, thank you for being vulnerable and open men who are talking about relationships, addiction, and recovery!! It’s one thing to connect with other women, but to hear men open up and bring to light their stuff they’re working on, gives me so much reassurance that the path of healing is for all ❤

[@MessagesFromAurora]

yes!

[@Lulu-kt6gr]

I had to pause because I didn’t think I’d ever hear this kind of discussion from men! 😅

[@jb-ze1yh]

No it’s not.. lol.. these kinds of men are rare, have you seen how terrible the hook up culture is? Most women should just focus on their impact and community… a lot of men are behind. And that’s the facts.

[@ambriaashley3383]

I have a lot of empathy for them & I hope they keep speaking up!! ❤

[@michellet.7835]

@@jb-ze1yh I hear ya.

[@dianaRC]

When Dax talks about having compassion for yourself...that's so beautiful

[@EKSKE]

I appreciate the honesty. It reflects the brokenness that’s so prevalent in our society. Not just with men, women too.

[@tamra9867]

I totally agree.

[@melissaelliott2966]

We all gotta show each other some grace.❤❤❤

[@EKSKE]

@@melissaelliott2966 🥹 Yes

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

I’ve never cheated..

[@moforyguy6803]

My dad was terrible and becoming a father was the best thing that ever happened. I get to enjoy my kids the way my dad never did his

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Yeah they miss out on so much by being a selfish, self-indulgent, douchebag.

[@leahwilson542]

I like how they don’t completely trash their exes.. they recognize their own faults.. sounds like they’ve matured a lot

[@Yetified_Mayhem]

Imagine those ex's out there still talking shit tho.

[@jimmy-wf1uo]

@@Yetified_MayhemWell what’s the point in that?

[@ChuckysOveralls]

​@@Yetified_Mayhemdoubtful

[@Tarasyoutube]

Yeah nowadays anything goes wrong and the communication goes down, she's watching the relationship go to the dump and it hurts and she tries so hard to make it work.... she'll just get called crazy; for being hurt or for trying. 💔 And God help her if she actually wants to stand up for herself. 🎉 I did relate to a couple parts alot. The flirting/definition part, and the white knuckle part at the beginning. Guys just really don't understand in the moment how many chances she is giving them to connect. And they don't seem to respect it with love and appreciation and meeting you there. I wish he'd said more about that definition thing rather than thoughts fed to him. I have that how much can I flirt, need to feel free to create chemistry dilemma. It is how I sail through life, but def. don't want to hurt my relationship with it. :/ that comes first.

[@colesisler582]

@@Yetified_Mayhemthis is immaturity. This comment. You’re making a bold assumption without knowing someone or any of their former partners

[@Truth4peace4freedom]

I got chills up & down my body....tears welling up in my eyes when Dax said he had 3 stepdads & had been molested before 9 years old. That poor, poor child. I'm so sorry that happened to you. So glad you were able to break the cycle for your children. Sending you & your family love. ❤

[@pip7967]

I had it similar but worse. No one seems to give a fuck.

[@carolinemorgan3020]

@@pip7967me too. I give a fuck and hope you have someone to help you process those unbearably hurtful motions. 🙏

[@mister_manager]

@@pip7967 I still don't

[@janetomes]

​@@pip7967many here do care and hope you can find a good counselor..

[@laraoneal7284]

Being molested as a child says EVERYTHING. Childhood trauma makes our lives really difficult. I’ve been doing recovery process for over 20 years. Climbing mt Everest every day.

[@motherbear327]

I've got to hand it to Theo. Most adults who struggle with complex trauma, addiction, past negative childhood experiences with their parents, etc do not land very well in adult life. They struggle to achieve goals, have good relationships, and get a good paying job. And ty hen there's Theo....all the reasons to not excell, and yet he does. And he does it with honesty and realness those living in shame would absolutely run from. Kudos to you Theo. Thank you for being your authentic self. You open the door for others to do the same.

[@Jurbo33]

"Gotta be the worst feeling ever." Nope. Getting cheated on is a LOT worse, I can assure you.

[@YesJellyfish]

you been on both sides?

[@JackoJ15]

Not necessarily.

[@ShannonMichelle7937]

Correct ✅

[@PS-zt7di]

This guy is a narcissist

[@andreangel9034]

Not really, some partners hope the other would cheat on then so there would be a reason to leave. Usually this is with coupl3w with kids where there is a secondary force keeping them together that isn't a mutually beneficial relationship.

[@Anthony-zq5uh]

Always appreciate the candor of theo's interactions. We should all be having these conversations with our friends.

[@kathymonper9751]

Amen

[@davidjosh5640]

For all his Huckleberry Finnian stories of his youth, to see Theo’s honesty with himself can be healing for his audience too

[@AMM3.]

I didn't cry for 10 years.. got sober and I can't stop crying.. i hear that so hard. Didn't cry about my friend dying.. a year later I'm crying about a dog food commercial

[@Moshka627]

God bless you, there are YEARS of suppressed pain that has to come out to be released. It’s some of the hardest work a person can do but what is on the other side of it is liberation. You’re a brave soul❤️

[@Persephonejackson]

This might be weird to say but I’m really happy for you. I’ve been there and it’s sooo uncomfortable and weird for a while you’re like wtf is happening to me but as you feel things they are released you feel lighter and more free. Also, if you can feel the repressed pain and anger you also have the capacity to feel great joy and gratitude and happiness again. That’s why I’m happy for you. All good things await you friend.

[@americanagothic7851]

I know the feeling well. Going through that now.

[@saltycat662]

It be like that as you get older. You become more emotional and sentimental. It's good to get all that out though. Keeping emotions cooped up causes cancer and other diseases.

[@AMM3.]

@@saltycat662 it has both to do with age. Its because I numbed all feeling for years by staying high.. now that I'm sober I get floods of those feelings I should have been feeling all along and it's incredibly overwhelming

[@aa1greg]

"We met whilst cheating" , "I'm so inlove with this girl" 💀

[@excusemyfrench4945]

dawg, major red fleg

[@Avocadosimp]

2024 dating basically

[@Wintersnow889]

He seems gay to me but an undercover one

[@joshheerema8815]

​@@Wintersnow889 careful dax will find your comment and fuck your mom

[@colt-king1111]

@@Wintersnow889spot on

[@richardcampbell8685]

Dax has done some serious inner work to get that deep 😂

[@jujubees711]

Amazing. Right. And can you believe there's actually a podcast calling Dax out for only being on the surface. I'm like then you don't know Dax Shepard. It's literally what the guy's known for if you listen to his podcast.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

He looks tall

[@SweetDebbie58]

Exactly. It’s fantastic to hear a man admit and own up to their past like that.

[@notiowegian]

The inner work would be to quit show business and give up the money and attention that he so obviously craves, that also feeds his addictions. Narcissists, addicts, users and abusers will have no problem being open if being open feeds their needs and desires and allows them to continue the scam. He knows that the "open" sessions between two successful, extremely rich good looking white guys are just leading to more clicks, subs, and opportunities. Look at all of the woman I have banged and hurt and felt bad that I had to just go bang more woman because I am so great that I can bang woman, get caught and more woman will bang me....his wife and kids just have to love this...

[@kimkinetic777]

“Dude, if I cry on here one more time..” 😂

[@claytonbartos6485]

Dax Shepard looks like he sings for nickelback.

[@PearlsandRoses]

🎶"Never made it as a wise man!" okay, yeah I see it.

[@Taisa008]

hahhahaha

[@northsource7215]

A Nickelback cover band

[@27Pyth]

nailed it

[@Melissathelocator]

💯

[@wanderinglight00]

When Theo said it wasn’t really about the sex but more so about wanting the validation and needing to be seen… THAT. That is what I went through for over 5 years. It was SO HARD to get out of that place man. I thank God every day that I don’t put myself in situations like that any more

[@macgnf9061]

i am with you on that one man. comes from a child hood lacking in 'good job' and i am proud of you. i make sure to emphasize that with my kids. validation is still a struggle for me but i handle it best i can and avoid any possible situation that puts me in a difficult position.

[@anava84]

I didn't even know I did that until I heard Theo mention it. Damn.

[@sunshine3914]

That’s why whenever someone “cheats”, it’s never about the one being “cheated” on - it’s always about the cheater needing validation from everyone, bc they don’t value themselves.

[@snoozyq9576]

Why do people keep saying more so instead of more nowadays. That's not how you use more so

[@kylebivins1201]

Thank yourself, not God. You deserve credit

[@Macnastyyyy]

I’m so grateful for authentic raw conversations >>>>>>>

[@avadventuregear]

A lot of these comments are taken out of context of the whole conversation. They were both discussing their extreme drug use, being sober and how being sober brings you back to a very sobering reality of past behaviour. If more men talked to each other like this we’d hold ourselves accountable more. Fame is a big thing. DAX used to be a pretty big star at one point - no one prepares you for the amount of opportunities you get from the opposite sex. Drugs & Alcohol / Trauma - cause so much pain. Listen to what they’re talking about. Think about it critically.

[@justopinions5919]

We'd probably be taking it easier on him if he showed a little more regret. But yeah, most average guys who claim "I would NEVER cheat if I had been in his situation" are fooling themselves; they simply have no idea what it's like to have a group of 10/10s eager to jump on your d**k on the daily. I guess it's good that he was being truthful though.

[@bbqbros3648]

This clip is 17 minutes- that’s plenty of context. He’s still making excuses for his behavior. Theo usually owns his mistakes.

[@giuseppinasanger6410]

100%

[@dreamstever]

@@bbqbros3648excuses or reasons

[@danielgawelczyk4695]

Thanks man that was well put and I really felt what you wrote…

[@TheEllsworth8]

The connection between artistry and addiction is so fascinating and real.

[@gavinminder3494]

Honestly, I don't think there's as much of a connection as people make out. There's addicts everywhere. It's human nature. Construction workers just don't produce and sell their emotional expression for the world.

[@Eric-tj3tg]

​​@@gavinminder3494Do we know this? Is the hard working construction worker not expressing anger/frustration whilst Jack hammering, digging, and lugging gear around. Is the architect never driven by his/her desire to leave a mark; to share their vision of something, within an edifice? These occupations may not be considered artistic, or expression, but I would assert that it's not the "what"of one's doing, but the with what, or how they're doing it which denotes "art" and "expression."

[@sunshine3914]

@@Eric-tj3tgReplace that with chemical plant workers who are there for the pay. Rare to meet one who doesn’t spend every waking minute guzzling alcohol. Only reason that so many are able to keep their job is bc of consist & random drug testing. I’ve known many high-functioning alcoholics in my lifetime - it’s local tradition.

[@Gettingbento]

They’re so calm just dropping emotional bombs together I love it. Just the pure honesty alone makes this clip great. Keep it up anyone else trying to stay sober 👏🏼

[@Lulu-kt6gr]

I think it’s great to hear this kind of honesty and soul searching coming from two younger men.

[@tadanott300]

Could really relate to what Dax said about gaining perspective from seeing your kids at certain ages. It's a real eye opener.

[@abbibrinkman222]

This is truly a beautiful conversation between two self aware and emotionally mature men. Thank you for sharing 🩵 the vulnerability is refreshing

[@ChristianOne]

Oh my gosh...the bar is on the floor. Yes, the honesty was refreshing but at the bottom of Theo's self reflection was basically just "I'm too selfish to not cheat. I always have cheated and still do." Honest? Yes. Emotionally mature? NOT AT ALL. King baby wants what he wants no matter who it hurts. It's good to praise positive steps men take in self-reflection but let's not celebrate as if he made a single positive CHANGE in behavior, because he made it clear he hasn't changed at all, no matter how aware he is. We cheer so hard for men even when they are on the road to becoming soulless psychopaths who use every woman for personal gain and gratification only. Dax is only a couple steps up from that by having some actual consideration about the damage he did to his partners. Sigh. Come on fellow humans...we can do better than this. We're just gross at this point. They say if you aim for the stars and miss at least you reach the moon. Could we stop accepting rolling around in the mud like swine and aim even just a few steps higher. We are in no danger of ever reaching the moon at this point. Humanity will be lucky if we reach dry land after climbing out of the mud. Come on.

[@StephenGeorge]

Well said

[@jeremiahkraus4745]

Recovering alcoholic with childhood trauma and I can't say thank you enough to Dax and Theo for being so open. Love you guys.

[@tamra9867]

I like that they’re being so honest.

[@IsoldeHallArt]

having children also allowed me to recognize and advocate for my inner child. I was at a wedding and there was a really awkward father of the bride speech. I went home to joke about it to my husband. A rouge wave of emotions came out of nowhere and swept me off my feet when I started to say “at least I never had to worry about that.” I just started sobbing and blubbering. “That’s a lie. I would have taken the world’s worst speech if it meant my dad was there for me.” That really kicked off my journey of healing and giving myself permission to think about my inner child as if she was my daughter. And what I would do if she was ever in the situations I was put in. I love my mother and recognize her struggle as a single parent while also allowing myself to search the hurt and anger that I had buried deep when I was forced into a position of emotional intelligence and hyper vigilance as a child. I was made to be a partner to my mother, to hear her vent about things no child should be made to feel responsible for, and it’s okay to realize that. In fact you have to go get past it.

[@da_pantera]

This clip is actually one I needed to hear. I'm recovering now and it has been a struggle for me espcailly because I lost a woman I thought I couldn't live without, but in all reality I was an addict and met her while I was an addict so it wasn't a true romantic relationship on my end. But I never would've figured that out without going into recovery

[@Nathanaelelliott]

I'll never understand why people cheat. Like if you wanna sleep with other people don't be with someone. It's one of the most painful things for someone if they genuinely love you.

[@bendrix92]

drugs, drinking, depression, take your pick, all of the above. Lifes fucked and can make people do fucked up things and form abhorent habits and behaviors. you don't need to understand it, but can be worth trying sometimes.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

Because they are cowards

[@l.a7710]

its like people who live a health lifestyle and those who eat junk food, its a choice, temptation is everywhere

[@bryceclark8985]

They love the emotional intimacy of monogamy without the loyalty, hence why it’s called “cheating”

[@l.a7710]

@@bryceclark8985 Actually there was a (not so surprising) study where the men who cheat start with the emotional cheating first at work usually , some end in sexual but the emotional cheating is what's get them off because they don't consider it 'chceating'

[@angelgomez-tg4zm]

Man this podcast really hits home, Dax shepard is a badass for talking about this stuff

[@woodysbarndominium]

“She’s not going to dote on you and be infatuated with your existence… she’s not your mom.” 😂 as a mom of a 2 year old boy who is 100% obsessed with him, that hit hard. 😅

[@santosesquivel8669]

Damn, Dax went deep with that mom bit of introspection… on a side note I think Dax would play a good Vince McMahon lol

[@Vultures-fl8ps]

Far too young

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

He read Freud

[@Shayala11]

When you both cry like that…..as well as having the sort of conversation you’re having indicates you are having a heart opening, a spiritual awakening. Many people are having this experience. It’s a great thing and a sign of the times. We are going through a great shift of the ages 🌟

[@jaclynelise2966]

Not being able to exercise enough self control to not cheat on the person you love is something I will never understand.

[@joygernautm6641]

I would argue that people who are able to cheat don’t actually love that person. Maybe they love what that person gives to them, but if you truly love someone, you don’t do the one thing that you know we’re completely destroy them and affect them forever. Love does not act like that.

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

You dont cheat when you love and feel loved.

[@shithead-pf8hn]

@@joygernautm6641exactly bro

[@VeteransAgainstFascism]

I will up the ante on this and say not having enough respect for someone you are just dating, whether or not you love them, to not cheat, I will never understand. It is baseline human decency.

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

That’s what this entire conversation is about I think, them just talking about cheating

[@LavishPatchKid]

I wish Patrick Swayze would have lived long enough for Theo to play his son in a movie. lol

[@lomane5327]

This is such an awesome thought thank you

[@opinionatelier3406]

Brilliant comment 😂

[@brianmeen2158]

I think Theos first acting gig as the little boomerang-throwing kid in Mad Max the Road Warrior was pretty good

[@TheCowthryn]

Yes!!! Beautiful comment. I'm sure Patrick is in a heaven where beauty knows no bounds.

[@moragmacgregor6792]

It's the mullet, isn't it.

[@StephenIC]

Theo admitting to the "you're my mom" thing on here to crazy. I'd be taking that one to the grave 🥲

[@MessagesFromAurora]

I'm so appreciative of the honesty. as a woman tho (without kids), I still don't fully grasp what it means . I do hope more guys can talk about this tho, seems they have done alot of healing because of it ❤

[@JesusSaves77799]

It’s so funny though and real!!! I love it!! 😂🙏🙏

[@trevorjackson4744]

@@MessagesFromAurora Theo was emancipated from his mom when he was 14 and from there was basically living with friends. I think his outburst was his subconscious telling that girl that he was depending on her for the type of emotional support that he had been missing from his life during that time. To him, she had taken the role of providing unconditional love and her leaving meant he would go back to having none

[@PS-qn4oz]

It's weird to say it that way but parental roles are sort of unavoidable: guys typically want a woman to cook for them (like a mother would) and women want the guy to provide physical protection (like a father). Very primal still.

[@MessagesFromAurora]

@trevorjackson4744 I didn't know that, makes alot of sense for this situation in particular

[@bassassassinnn7459]

I never cheated. Better to be loyal. If it doesn't work out, walk tf away.

[@yannikakapralli]

You are a real one!

[@Camille-st6jy]

W maturity

[@Thomas-tm3ts]

congrats

[@Wbe1000]

I don’t see the point in cheating on somebody. You clearly lack emotional intelligence nor can empathize with somebodies feelings to just talk things out and walk away.

[@BrockLanders]

Totally agree, same here. If you’re cheating then you’re lying, and if you’re lying then it’s because you’re too afraid to tell the person that you’re with the truth. Cowards lie, people with integrity tell the truth no matter what the consequences are.

[@laraoneal7284]

I congratulate both of you for this moment of authenticity. Please keep it going in future shows.

[@tamra9867]

What Dax said about being molested. I totally feel that. When my son has hit certain ages I look at him and think about what I went through at those ages and it is so hard. I know the feeling that Dax was talking about. I pray for them both.

[@breakupward]

The revelation that we always feel older than we really were to have experienced what we experienced... Made me tear up instantly.

[@SinigangReviews]

Holy shit, me too.

[@sofa-the-page]

I suspect the issue of not wanting a girlfriend or a partner to define you is about wanting to maintain control

[@mr.mayhem6755]

This👌👌

[@claire1254]

Yep I think there are various reasons; for me it´s about retaining my own sense of identity and being so scared of losing myself or feeling overwhelmed/trapped. It can suggest a lack of boundaries or a lack of confidence in setting your own boundaries. Once you work on that, you´re less fearful of becoming engulfed by another person.

[@alyssagarcia5097]

I never put those two ideas together, nice! I'm definitely a control freak, and I never liked having a partner define me. Only with my current partner have I learned to appreciate him as an individual and not just a reflection of myself. I still have a lot to work through lol.

[@francestaylor9156]

Usually because you had such a lack of control/sanity as a child.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

Yes and no kind of complex

[@xIIIQueenOfSwordsIIIx]

I’m always looking to be more understanding and empathetic towards men’s struggles, because I think women do, at times, fall short in that area. This has been really insightful. Thank you to both for your honesty.

[@LilLamb-headquarters]

I dislike the gender discussion drawing imaginary divides. We are all human, we all have basically very similar essential struggles: Am I worthy of love? Am I capable of success? Am I a good person?

[@naturalebeing]

People are always going to resent and be offended by people who speak openly about the darker aspects of humanity. Which is funny because, would you rather they hide it away? Yeah you probably would, that’s why our society is the way it is. Instead of acknowledging our imperfections we pretend we dont have them or fight to look better than, and it bleeds out through our addictions and our interpersonal relationships. Dax isn’t proud of his cheating, he’s so far removed from it he can talk about it with humor. I’m the same way with shitty behavior from my past. I’m happy for him and I hope he stays on a “righteous” path. I have tended to struggle with monogamy. There’s so many beautiful, interesting people in this world. But that’s why I think if you’re like me, you should just stay single until you’re emotionally mature enough to commit to one person and not be phased by lust and sexual temptation.

[@SonGoku-tp8gb]

You never become "mature enough" to commit to one person and not be phased by lust. The desire is just human nature, and some people are just better at controlling/suppressing it. Instead, you just grow old enough to become less attractive and your choices become limited. You can either scramble to find "the one" then, or continue old habits at a much lower rate. Either way, you would really have to lower your standards at that point. You must be willing to carry someone else's baggage or be incredibly lucky to be the exception. I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking, it's just what I have seen and believe. If you stay single now for the sake of not hurting someone else, I truly do respect you for that decision. However, that doesn't change what I said earlier.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@SonGoku-tp8gbI’m not sure how realistic monogamy is for the majority of people…? I mean, how many people truly don’t cheat or have not cheated on their current wife or husband? I also realize it would be very difficult to get accurate numbers on this sort of thing

[@mister_manager]

@@SonGoku-tp8gb Nah it depends on the person, I've cheated before and saw how it hurt the person, made the vow never to do it again. Lots of things can be stronger than a libido or a need for attention, like shame or empathy or for some, willpower. For me it's the look on my loved one's face all those years ago. I've had opportunities to cheat afterwards and never took them up on it because I don't want to make anyone I date feel the way I made that person feel years ago.

[@SonGoku-tp8gb]

@@mister_manager Everything always depends on the specific situation. I was speaking in general terms. Anyway, I respect you for realizing the consequence of your mistake and stopping yourself from repeating it 🤝

[@PS-qn4oz]

So many people get into relationships just to keep a roof over their heads. They are not emotionally fulfilled, they are just trying to make it out in the world as young adults. People in that situation, struggling with finances, do not always have the luxury of brute force honesty. They cannot tell their partner how they really feel because they might end up homeless. I respect your position but also see it as coming from a place of privilege, and I see this all the time: the more secure one is in their resources, the more moral they can appear, because their lifestyle gives them options if the truth ever destroys something.

[@Pr0misedland]

For those of you that had bad childhoods, "3 step days and molested" type stuff. Having children and protecting them from that world is incredible healing. Be the change. It's a life worth living.

[@kylesweeney3059]

I feel like with my own mom. I see more paralells to Theo. I always wanted her around and to never leave. And she was barely around and when she was-distant. The thing for me in relationships is I always expect the other person to leave, so I choose women who are independent. Subconsciously it's what gives me safety and security to rely only on myself. I'm now healed to the point where I stopped trying to save other people who seem broken like I was, so that I can finally heal my mom wound. I've started accepting people as they are, including my mom who is distant. There's no need to mend our relationship, I'm dependent on myself, and my awareness is searching for other women who want closeness, support, and are interested in me.

[@srg9671]

wonderful insight!

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

❤

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

❤

[@MessagesFromAurora]

I appreciate your comment here and am happy and proud of you for loving yourself enough to get to that place of valuing your self and well-being. 💗🙌

[@onemysore6120]

This dude has a moral breakthrough when he realizes that it’s not okay to hit on your girlfriend’s friends. I can’t.

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

Men are deranged beyond belief

[@keltone]

Then don't.

[@emh8861]

Should be common sense 🙄.

[@Jurbo33]

A prime example of someone who has come far and still has far to go lol

[@brittanyoechsel4804]

You're missing the whole fucking point of what he's saying 🙄🙄 grow up and stop being bittwr

[@halleybruno4653]

I wish cheaters knew that being cheated on can push you to kill yourself. Not everyone is strong enough to overcome betrayal. When you cheat you are playing with someones life.

[@NittyGritty420]

Not to mention the person that was betrayed can possibly try to hurt the other man or woman. Everyone involved is a risk.

[@TrenMax]

we need to old times back you cheat = you die

[@halleybruno4653]

@TrenMax lol it's not always that deep but damn people are really out here struggling with mental health and betrayal is not good for human beings

[@LL-we9vq]

You shouldn't kill yourself for someone who didn't respect you enough to cheat on you. Walk away and find someone better.

[@NittyGritty420]

@@LL-we9vq I don’t think anyone here is going to disagree with you… but it still happens.

[@MeeMenuchoth]

I love to see such open dialogue between two fellas. There's a lot here women should take note of. I can't tell you how happy I am for them both, they're working through it and I'm here for it! 🙏🏾🌱🙏🏾

[@SuzyTodd-j6l]

Thank you to both of these men for your honest vulnerability. I think anyone who watches this can learn, grow, and benefit from a moment of reflection. Bravo Dax & Theo!

[@JohnGeranien]

Attachment issues. Two of them operate from avoidant or disorganizes style

[@blackitikatt533]

My heart broke so many times during this 17 minutes. 💔

[@HeartFeltGesture]

@hairiseverything Just know, Dax doesnt represent men, hes just one man, and was a self-confessed womanizer. There are similar women, who jump up and down on mens hearts too.

[@franchangehabits]

it is the reality , don’t expect less

[@tresjolieme81]

You're right I can relate. Cheating is the end of future planning with your person on top of other devastation. Just resist guys.

[@amandapanda0717]

Freudian waterslide… how freakin hilarious and tbh, gat dam poetic. 😹 I love him.

[@stephanieg4950]

Really insightful - they ve done a LOT of work already- and very very inspiring that they re accountable. This exchange is so needed. They re lucky they re finding healing n better quality of life, self love, at this age and not at 110. Some of us dont get close to this.

[@ceebee4750]

I'm so impressed and proud of both of these men. Wow. Thank you for sharing. Dax, it sounds like you are a Words of Affirmation person who wants more romance and praise. But it also sounds like you realize that there are somethings that you value more- friendship, family, love - and for that you are willing to live with "normal". Theo, it sounds like you are afraid of control and that fun is an important part of your world. It's not something that you should ever have to give up. You can be a goof and be a man.

[@tankgirllovesroos]

That compassion did get triggered at a point for me as well and I didnt need to have kids to have that epiphany(thank God because I'm not a fan). I didn't realize how similar my past is to these guys. No wonder I like them. They are victors imo, and I am too. Self-reflection, identifying, and reworking our beliefs about ourselves and the world is how we win. ❤

[@mikestaub]

This might sound harsh, but all of these issues stem from an underlying lack of discipline and honor. Thanks for being so vulnerable.

[@therockbottom5256]

Or an underlying lack of a father figure

[@Levipaulsen]

"But you're my Mom" absolutely does not stem from a underlying lack of discipline and honor.

[@mikestaub]

@@Levipaulsen True, it stems from the lack of a real father figure.

[@Levipaulsen]

@@mikestaub it stems from you not knowing what you're talking about

[@trogman43988]

What an idiotic, naive comment

[@nonamoma8535]

When you start having kids, it will change it all.. things will get worse. Heal now.

[@lifeofreilly9943]

And Kids notice EVERYTHING

[@flyinv3663]

That description of realizing where you'd been at 9 was so lovely, Dax.

[@erdub84]

Theo, your podcast is becoming the place where we heal and laugh together and that is beautiful.

[@Itsgonnabeok4]

I was in this relationship with this incredible woman for 9 years I wanted to have kids with her and then I broke up with her and it was really hard to do so, then I realized I loved her and then I had to white knuckle that as if getting off a drug like cocaine ect 🙄 and men love to call US crazy 😂🎉

[@marthacompton8912]

How great that you create such a welcoming environment for real conversation. You have a real humility and real bravery. When you get to a place when you can be yourself, and not worry about how others feel, it’s freeing and ascended. I’m sure you are experiencing that sense of freedom.

[@bby_plut0]

the ending was so sad but masked by laughter cause being a present dad, although it is a responsibility, is a thankless job in many ways

[@sarahskicks]

Being a parent is hard

[@margomack37]

Im blown away by these 2 men❤ Courageous to discuss these very personal experiences & emotions!

[@Bloodborne11639]

kinda makes you lose hope in dating.

[@SleepyGraphingCalculator-zl9vx]

Quite the opposite. If you didn't gain knowledge from these clips to help you with love, then that is where the hope is lost.

[@zakdoar8874]

What Dax is saying has been Said before. Patrice oneal for example.

[@brianmeen2158]

I’m at the point where dating is getting very old and I don’t think monogamy is very attainable for most people.. in my 30s my eyes were opened wide when I saw just how many married people were willing to cheat on their mate .

[@SleepyGraphingCalculator-zl9vx]

@brianmeen2158 never give up on love, my brother! Change your mindset. Remember, there are more people like you and me than we could ever know. Go to church...whole foods...the library, haha your lover will be there

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

@@SleepyGraphingCalculator-zl9vxmen have been saying all this shit for centuries AND STILL THEY DONT LEARN FROM GENERATIONS BEFORE

[@theautuitiveishere]

This is so important, what dax said about looking at his kids thinking what happened to him. By the time I was 9 (my daughter's age), I had been molested, physically assaulted and threatened, shown violent graphic images, and verbally abused and forced into weight loss diets and forced to get a job. I look at my daughter and can't believe by 9 this all happened to me.

[@courtneybergeson8758]

Wow this is really great to listen to. Thanks a bunch guys!

[@SevenGraham]

Makes me so happy to see men speaking so honestly and having done work on themselves & relationships. It’s amazing how much we grow when we get sober.

[@BigpapamoneymanMVPtypebeat]

“Worst feeling driving to someones apartment and seeing we are in different places” funny how time works. This is a 6 month old post and a few hours ago my girlfriend drove to me to say the exact thing. Except I was so in a “different place” and not getting the hints that I got her flowers yesterday and gave them to her minutes before she gave me “the talk” I doubt anyone will see this and most will assume it’s fake and I wish it was

[@BrandonTheDon21]

Dax is such a good dude...first saw him in "without a paddle" been a fan since! Such an honest open celeb

[@Jackietreehorn-z5e]

Yeah...he's great. Cheats on women.

[@BrandonTheDon21]

@@Jackietreehorn-z5e I know plenty of guys who cheated...never know the reasons why....doesnt make him a bad guy...relax karen

[@hollybouchard6441]

I never comment! But wow! I had no idea Dax that you went through all that !!!and I am even more loving of you to openly speak about it, plus the fact that you told Kristen in the beginning you wanted no relationship, no kids and or marriage and she said....cool! This was from another interview btw. And you gave her all that. Proud of you Dax, always loved you as an actor and Kristen especially!!! It takes that one person to make you see and change, And you did.

[@adamburdt8794]

Leave it to a cheater to explain how much it effected THEM

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

True lol

[@braedynlaube3377]

You expect them to not have feelings or for their feelings not to count cause they made a mistake? Idk man I got cheated on b4 too in a 2&1/2 yr relationship and its wrong to dehumanize them like that. Thats what leads to unresolved trauma. Keep ur head up tho king, it gets better

[@GiddyUpGoTrio]

Did you make it to the end of this? Thats kinda the point - he says they didn’t deserve that?

[@ichirosuzuki2252]

It does effect them so why not be able to discuss it. Guilt can be a hell of a thing. Obviously being cheated on leaves you feeling worse, no one contests that.

[@kevinprzy4539]

affected*

[@paulterry1232]

Look beyond looks, then relationships lasts longer.

[@Wbe1000]

Or look beyond looks, and leave sooner.

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Yep, go for a real pig, then jealousy isnt an issue

[@sydneyg3022]

@@Wbe1000you ate with that one

[@tamra9867]

If they cheat with you they will cheat on you.

[@lifeofreilly9943]

Cheaters have low self worth…Scariest kind of person to relationship up with. Their insecurities will seek endless validations while leaving trails of destruction for all who loved them just as they were

[@isabellesender]

"You have a compassion for your 9 yo self" 💕💕💕

[@ricksundberg5659]

Dax is actually hilarious and his delivery is awesome. When I hook up with Kristen I hope he lives next door so we could hang out.

[@Yellow-Rose]

These guys treat cheating as if they've stepped in a mud puddle. You're toying with a woman's life. I don't think they'll get it until their daughter gets cheated on.

[@TheDriftingsmoke]

Their wives friends are also to blame

[@tomadshade2625]

They clearly do understand the hurt they caused. They're just at a point where they can talk about their shame and guilt with less fear of being judged. Evidently, your judgement came... They knew it would, but they talked openly about their experiences, regardless... With hope that speaking about their adultery continues to heal them and help the people listening.

[@whitesmurf1290]

This is probably my favorite episode of the pod ever. Dax is great and him and Theo seem to play off eachother and connect to eachother really nicely

[@KrysLynne82]

They are funny together but Dax doesn't let Theo talk

[@byl15]

Damn, never knew this about Dax. Much respect to both men. I’m glad Dax is in a good place in his life. Theo, you’re the man. I hope you find your peace and happiness. I don’t know you, but you deserve it. Everyone deserves it. Life is complicated and we have ONE life to live. Kindness and love to all.

[@RebeccaO619]

I personally find it really strange to be having a conversation with your nine year old daughter about what would happen if mommy hypothetically cheated on daddy….at nine years old I had no idea what cheating even was. So the fact that his daughter is aware of the concept of cheating is a bit telling to me.

[@woodysbarndominium]

I knew what cheating was from a young age, by no fault of my parents. Lots of other families had infidelity issues and didn’t shield their kids, which made us painfully aware of it. Our elementary school principal cheated with a teacher and it was a big scandal, so we all knew…. Plus these people live in a weird place where a lot of their peers have parents with weird lifestyles, they’ve seen a lot.

[@powderandpaint14]

Yeah, totally inappropriate. Too much to put on a child at that young and age.

[@Ward413]

@@powderandpaint14So dumb. I think Dax knows how to parent his own child better than some mouth breather on the internet. I swear you guys are like chicks watching reality shows and then snickering to each other about how awful everyone is so you can feel better about yourself. Not every nine year old is the same dawg.

[@liliesofthefield5310]

Theo Von saying he didn't want anyone defining him, I felt that, I was that way for years when I was single, I didn't want my identity to be rooted in anybody, or to be an extention of someone else, I wanted to be myself, I met my husband when I was 28, he made me feel more like myself than anyone I had ever been with or hung out with, I'm very introverted and being with him felt the same as being by myself but in a good way, Theo just hasn't found that person yet but he will

[@boredwithdeja1331]

When he correlated his daughter age to his when stuff happen to him hit so hard, like yeah you’re to young for that stuff to be in you life 😭😭😭

[@CorySpitznagel]

I fuckin love Dax. Great human. Been thru a lot and came out the other side. Same with Theo

[@SiennaNotMiller]

Love and respect for this open vulnerable conversation between men

[@ReekRendTest1]

"Spilling your feelings to a female is like bleeding next to a shark." 💯 This will give women the ick, they will say cruel things, they will abuse you, they will flee from your display of weakness - DON'T FALL FOR IT. No matter what they say, women do not want a man who shows weakness or vulnerability. That being said, there are certain things that may allow you to get away with it and keep her, like being rich and/or famous, or a violent felon and/or serial killer.

[@donniemacbeth]

As i watch this episode I only wish I could sit in that chair for an episode just to be able to finally talk with someone who understands me when I talk about the destructive past I use to live. I appreciate you guys for sharing

[@russgaudett]

This is golden thank you guys love you both

[@AliceSFlowers-s4x]

the best men are the ones who come to the other side like these two! i'm so happy to see them together and this awesome raw conversation.

[@kalebdougan2419]

The “mommy issues” explain why we have such an epidemic of cheating nowadays. 🤯

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Ummm......add in the daddy issues too please for balance, to help explain all the cheating narcissistic women.

[@ChattyBlanketCorner]

They both have significant daddy issues too. Also, their issues with their moms were vastly different (their moms parented each of them in polar opposite ways), and yet both became cheaters with commitment issues.

[@tamra9867]

And Dads

[@brianmeen2158]

@@ChattyBlanketCornerall boys need fathers in their life. Women just cannot raise boys to be men - men cannot raise girls to be women

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

@@HeartFeltGesturemen have such more extreme daddy issues than women do

[@janewolfe9137]

Oh Dax, that little boy had it so rough….it must have had a deep impact on how you view adulthood. I’m sorry you experienced such treatment.

[@chesspain6704]

I know that people can have an open relationship. I just don't desire one.

[@AndrewTannerMusic]

Was psychologically, emotionally, and physically abused by my mother, grandmother, and 2 sisters when I was a young boy. I’m 39, have never been married, have no kids, but wish every day I had those things. All I feel is hopelessness and sadness because of it. My own family didn’t even want me…why would anyone else?

[@SIB_COMEDY]

go to therapy and learn to love yourself!

[@AndrewTannerMusic]

@@SIB_COMEDYoh I do love myself! So much that I’ll never allow myself to he around anyone who treats me that way again. Unfortunately, most women are manipulatuve and deceptive. I learned from a very early age that most only care about themselves, so I can’t ever trust them.

[@skinpalette]

Garth Brooks of Podcasting 🤣

[@kristihensley3569]

😂

[@EfBEye888]

This dude is so in love with himself

[@junipersnow1]

Yah, Total Chachi

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Yeah you can thank his mother for over-coddling him. Thats one way narcissists are created

[@dreamstever]

@@HeartFeltGesturea narcissist couldn’t have this much self-awareness

[@HeartFeltGesture]

@@dreamstever I dont think Dax is a narcissist, I should have been clearer, I can see how my comment lends itself to suggestion. I just mean when he mentioned his mother being his biggest fan, he could do no wrong etc, is a dangerous dynamic.

[@dreamstever]

@@HeartFeltGesture ah that’s fair, I appreciate the elaboration.

[@Yaa7700]

Listening to dax makes me want to be single forever

[@bigsmokesorder4053]

Hearing these two talk has helped me so much, a reminder we are all human. A safe space for male vulnerability.