Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures

On Today Now!, author Christine Eckard teaches Jim and Tracy to imagine economic problems as oily, curly-haired "Grabblers."

[@Rotti17]

"imagine the grabbler disintegrating like a pile of ashes" holy shit they went all in

[@matthew8153]

They forgot to include a gaseous flame causing it

[@B10401]

I can't get over all that audacity crammed in a stately-seeming lady

[@verucasaltshaker7880]

(just like the grabblers)

[@B10401]

@Ivan Ivanoff You'll understand when you're older.

[@bencobb5545]

Based

[@illegalaryan8400]

I, too, am writing a book about my frustrations with grabblers. I’m thinking of titling it “My Struggle.” Thoughts?

[@copee3]

D Madd11 Woosh Look at OP’s name

[@leandrox1]

After become millonaire with the sell of your book... Dont forget invade Poland.. (But remember...dont call it "vital space"...call it "manifest destiny'...and you will be fine)...

[@edwardicus4]

Hey, that's nazi kind of humour we endorse

[@ttvv88]

Once it's done, let's have a toast to it at our local beer hall!

[@blazedray9231]

Call it I'm really an Overweight American man not a true Aryan European

[@AaronOstwald]

This is one of the most unhinged onion skits I've seen so far. Absolute genius

[@shandude4064]

Unhinged, hilarious, and insanely tongue-in-cheek!

[@Vlain-hc5sb]

This is an skit? Those Khazarian liars!

[@OhAwe]

@@Aluttuh Bro, whaat? What even is the context of your comment lmfao

[@Aluttuh]

@@OhAweyou don't understand or having an emotional response?

[@OhAwe]

@@Aluttuh That's correct, I don't understand. Do you not know what context means lol

[@m249machinegun2]

Kanye West seems to be pretty stressed out these days. He should definitely try out these techniques!

[@a.s.219]

This but unironically.

[@OpenKeith]

oh no 💀

[@drksoldier1]

@@OpenKeith OOOHH YEEEAAAAHHH!

[@isobelle.London]

Omg your evil

[@noahbonnet2723]

@@drksoldier1 🍹

[@GabbyPlaysGames02]

"Picture yourself in a quiet space free of grabblers, such as a field or church" I feel like that went unappreciated

[@chrisgaming9567]

?

[@RecessionJobSearcher]

@@chrisgaming9567 The Sound of Music

[@scutumfidelis1436]

Based.

[@VndNvwYvvSvv]

She should have said a field of mountain daisies instead of lilies

[@sofiab.9129]

@@chrisgaming9567 i dont get this line, probably because english is not my first language. I would like to understand because i love the Sketch :D

[@gordonfreeman8109]

My Austrian mate in art class tried this, worked pretty well for him, he got very far in life.

[@asaul6718]

To imagine that he would become the famous author of the furiously acclaimed book "My struggle" Brings a year to the eye :')

[@psychoticsy6350]

Bro I don’t know how to tell you this, I think your mate killed himself.

[@nosaiyamu4331]

You legend

[@Kraanox]

Gordon Freeman being friends with the führer sounds like combine propaganda

[@toastyboy5147]

i think all the success ended up going to his head

[@sshiggydiggy8069]

Is "The solution" her final book?

[@euphoricatheist6694]

No. She has a second book called Eckhard's Second Book.

[@zacharmet7764]

@sshiggy diggy Your profile picture of "O'Brien" is quite appropriate for this video...

[@99tubalcain]

@@zacharmet7764 I AM NOT O'BRIEN! I AM NOT O'BRIEN!

[@trevorhunt8487]

And of course her autobiography "My struggle"

[@DavidKFZ]

sshiggy diggy yes, unfortunately. It's still doing well though, over 6 million sales

[@TheBoomhahaha]

I was on vacation in New York and I swear to God I saw a grabbler crawling out of a sewer grate

[@BasicUniversalEconomics]

Finally a news source not controlled by grabblers

[@MuhammedMuhammed-xd7qo]

My mom told me to beware of those kid grabbing Grabblers that would take me into their underground tunnels and grabble my ghurkin on top of their dirty Grabbler mattresses. Thank god that was all just a fairy tale and there's not such thing as Grabblers in real life.

[@what9331]

😭😭😭

[@jamesmeuwissen7823]

I find this especially helpful now, I just got denied for my application to art school.

[@osteelgen8225]

Oh no

[@Not._.Guilty69]

Bruh

[@Raksody]

uh oh

[@mystiqueuser4919]

You should become a politician

[@user-73a]

oh no

[@roufdrapht]

[this meme is illegal in Germany]

[@AdamGoulett]

Oh definitely.

[@HeilRay]

Legal in Sweden for sure.

[@AdamGoulett]

@@HeilRay Slightly ironic. Just slightly.

[@robertbennett2796]

Is it because of what hitler did

[@lol-ti6rq]

@@robertbennett2796 Hmm let me guess...

[@CharlesDickens111]

I love that casual "they're always lurking like rats" she throws in.

[@jessynation8293]

Where’s the lie tho

[@gratefulguy4130]

@@jessynation8293 I thought this was the Onion.

[@tomjaap2933]

@@gratefulguy4130 still dont see a lie

[@Icemario87]

@@iii___iii shut it down!!

[@dreamisnotsus8996]

@@Icemario87 a dangerous amount of noticing is going on here

[@chadfkennedy]

“Exercise on Friday after sunset, when stress has its guard down” 💀

[@DecafKauffee]

Why is no one else talking about this part???

[@GuyN0ir]

@@DecafKauffee Because most people don’t understand what that means in this context.

[@thunderous-applause57]

​@@GuyN0ir Explain it to a noob, aka me.

[@GuyN0ir]

@@thunderous-applause57 That's when the Jewish sabbath starts. It's the beginning of the day of rest, where you aren't supposed to do any work. On the Jewish calendar, sundown is the end of the day and the start of the next day, hence why it starts on Friday night and lasts through Saturday until sundown.

[@thunderous-applause57]

@@GuyN0ir Thanks bro, now I understand.

[@loganfox2386]

“Imagine the Grabbler disintegrating, like a pile of ashes..” *Hey, I’ve seen this one!*

[@i-never-look-at-replies-lol]

there's an amusement park you can check out about it!

[@KC-yd5kj]

It's rewind time!

[@awesometown1000]

Holocaust deniers: “What are you talking about? This is brand new.”

[@jamesdeegan7365]

i know right, you may remember it, it was made by a inspirational german painter who managed to get the whole worlds attention, the book was called "mein kampf" and was about his struggles in life after failing his uni degree

[@KC-yd5kj]

@@jamesdeegan7365 He was a vegetarian animal lover who killed himself after being bullied by the Russians.

[@thestrongprevail3039]

"Because Grabblers only hire their own kind" LOL

[@spencer5028]

Grabler nepotism is real

[@ClayWar237]

I can't believe they sneaked that in Based af

[@naturecollision]

I once tried to release some of my music on a label from Grabblistan, they told me, "no, we only sign Grabblers"" fuck sake, that was sad and resist ;)

[@ststst981]

@dylan thoms you realize this is mocking antisemites like you?

[@brambleknight7217]

@ststst if grabblers have done nothing wrong they have nothing to fear from criticism.

[@keonianderson5145]

That "purifying wind" part killed me

[@bl-rp]

It killed lots of people

[@spelcheak]

@@bl-rp Wow

[@Zharque]

Shouldn't have laughed as much as I did at this thread...

[@brennencox516]

looks like i should google "purifying wind", but i won't :\

[@agall664]

@@bl-rp who cares, it killed insects. Are insects people?

[@TheGreatsagegoku]

"Now close your eyes and picture the grabbler" "Okay, there he is..!" Idk why but out of all the things in this skit the way the guy says that one line cracks me up. She gives such a ridiculous prompt and he's just immediately like "yeah sure"

[@Fistmybeer]

Priceless!!! 🤣

[@_Baleful]

Yep I feel the same way about how Tracy delivers the line “Christine I’m so glad you’re here, I’m about ready to snap!”

[@TheGreatsagegoku]

@@_Baleful lmao

[@iqless7313]

he's ChatGPT

[@alexstetson2397]

Good to see all you anti-semitic jackasses laughing it up.

[@akihikosakurai4013]

>he invented interest rates *oh* >he only hires his own kind *oh no* >now imagine the grabbler disintegrating into a pile of ashes *OH NO*

[@johnmarston8868]

oy vey

[@爱国者-f3d]

oh yes

[@KZ-hu9uj]

Oh my god I didnt even get that one

[@bbking006]

OH YES

[@GraveUypo]

@@KZ-hu9uj it rhymes with new

[@pasteghost428]

This video is anti-grabletic.

[@cutecommie]

Nazis don't understand subtext.

[@virtualmartini]

@@cutecommie They understand it better than you do.

[@JMG_86]

*counter-grabletic

[@pedrolmlkzk]

Oy vey

[@MrNopehaha]

The irony is the woman talking about grabblers, is a grabbler herself!

[@avery-grace2793]

The thing about the onion is that you know the punchline as soon as you read the title, but the delivery and execution is so good it doesn’t even matter lol

[@dogchaser520]

No punchline, really. It's a reversal offered by the headline formula. They used to do a lot more long-form stuff. Had more legs. I think the writers are getting a bit more wacky and "oh we're a humor blog" kind of thing, and also mixing in a bit too much political humor. Need to have more courage in this age... which severely lacks courage

[@songbird7450]

@@dogchaser520 "They used to do" That video is 12 years old...

[@dogchaser520]

@@songbird7450 The comment's 3 years old, though

[@dogchaser520]

@@cameronsprague101 I was referring to their articles: they aren't releasing much long-form stuff anymore. They used to have very long articles pretty regularly that were not just extensions of the headline.

[@Psychedelicpourhouse]

​@@songbird7450and the onion has always been political lol its like people complaining about comics and star wars becoming political, they are just dense as hell

[@falstaffswims]

"They're always lurking, like rats."

[@MrXlee1967]

@festeringsmegma4823 in new York a tunnel was found full of grabbers hiding children's clothes and bedding. They never change, where ever they go, always grabbing, always targeting women and children.

[@WheresMyInhaler]

I HEAR HIM UNDER MY FLOOR I AM NOT CRAZY HE IS IN THE TUNNEL

[@melontusk7358]

@@WheresMyInhaler I am not crazy, I knew he's swapped those numbers.

[@eastendthug]

Peak Onion. Never get anything like this anymore. Rip

[@SteveBalbonisHammer]

eastendthug grabbers got to them.

[@gofar6354]

@@SteveBalbonisHammer* grabbler

[@eastendthug]

@@oliverjackson3761 it seems everyone is a nazi these days.

[@obiwankenobi3058]

@@eastendthug sst

[@obiwankenobi3058]

Shid

[@spagandhi]

Theory: KZbin’s recent push to get “authoritative news channels” up to the front of youtube has lead to the onion being in all of our recommendations because it looks real

[@codybarrett4672]

I hope your theory is correct because that would be an amazing backfire

[@Ghostcamel]

The entire monetized internet is like a great big feedback loop of digital irony.

[@clb4947]

@@Ghostcamel well said

[@illegalaryan8400]

The irony is that this video is true.

[@spagandhi]

@@illegalaryan8400 based

[@AwesomeAdmirak]

Imported 1930s German stress relief technique

[@uastyrdzhii]

The final solution to stress

[@kritsadventures]

The Financial Solution.

[@v5k456jh3]

Gas your stress with this simple tip:

[@NG-cf7zh]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@flangecorp9789]

Sheesh haha love it

[@Phoenix-pl6ys]

🤣🤣🤣

[@ogunsiron2]

i usually get rid of my grabblers by imagining a shower

[@ilikefoxesm817]

+NYC Shitlord Will a wall work?

[@eternalcomrade8144]

Savage

[@Gamberbro237]

Just imagine the warm pleasant stream bathing the interior of the shower in an steamy aura of choking grabbler poison, imagine them scrapping their nails on the walls looking for a way out before slowly going silent

[@dierotewand3297]

a magic shower that turns those nasty grabblers into soap bars.

[@cgv9234]

I try to imagine them setting on fire

[@007Spadge]

GQ: The Grabbler Question.

[@honkbeforeitstoolate587]

We're past Q. Now it is GP, grabbler problem. Everyone check out the JP conference. There is a second conference in the works! Follow Sam Parker and khanverse on twitter.

[@mjh8753]

Everyone send this to Ben Shapiro.

[@louisryan5815]

@Max Mus anyone who uses the term "mega beta" is a mega beta

[@louisryan5815]

@Max Mus "haha you didn't respond in 2 seconds because, unlike me, you have shit to do with your life!" Ok, "mega beta" you can go ahead and continue to think what you said insulted me, instead of realizing the fact that it just showed how much of a miserable loser you are. Cya

[@illegalaryan8400]

He’d have a heart attack and his wife would have to resuscitate him.

[@felixgutierrez993]

@Max Mus ok grabbler

[@mattg8600]

Max Mus You sound like your 12 years old.

[@joshriley2936]

I like how she doesn't say she's imagining it when she talks about lighting their curtains on fire and stuff.

[@MrXlee1967]

She's onto to something 🤔

[@StoutShako]

How are you supposed to work up a sweat by IMAGINING yourself doing these heinous acts--uh, I mean... Innovative stress-free solutions!

[@JacF6734]

"The Grabbler cries out in pain as he strikes you."

[@ZeranZeran]

More true every year Bye Bye Israel

[@samjone478]

@D H so Israel is truly evil then

[@Ree-rr1js]

@@samjone478 it is

[@sionantara370]

Heh

[@jamesrosewell9081]

@@luciusrex22 Goebbels is dead for a reason

[@berlin990]

Glad this is still here.

[@prairiehawker]

Ashes blown away by a Purifying Wind......

[@staywhite6332]

So beautiful...

[@Slymind]

They did not hold back on this one. I come to this video from time to time just to check if it's still here. I'm glad it is.

[@orchidahussuhadihcro9862]

It's a miracle, an anomaly that this video still managed to exist. In my country, France, the same video would have gotten a bit of jail time to its authors.

[@macedindu829]

I can't believe they put this video out. Onion's got some serious balls.

[@Judge_Jej]

7 years ago, they're cucked now

[@macedindu829]

Please, the preferred nomenclature is "shlomophobe."

[@Actiomedey]

@@vallisdaemonumofficial What the fuck is merchant aversion? I googled it and there were literally no results

[@paulgoogol2652]

@@Actiomedey the less you know the better. that guy is just some antisemite.

[@rockey13gt]

@@Actiomedey not a believer in this conspiracy theory but i think he's referring to the fact that jews (and other canaanites like phoenicians) were mostly merchants

[@Legoluigi26]

Yes, Mr. Goldberg, this comment section here.

[@cheez-itman2784]

Shut it down

[@robertsmalls2293]

*JIDF ACTIVE*

[@Outta-hz1ej]

nice pfp Cybershell

[@laserbeam3836]

oy vey !

[@ilikemetroid]

Lmfao, The Onion has balls. Nicely done

[@alexcallender]

*had

[@alexcallender]

@@joshp6030 Wow it's almost like I actually took that into account when I made my comment. This video is 8 years old. The Onion was already cucked by 2014. My correction stands.

[@geddoe316]

Shut up alex you fucking loser

[@coryc9040]

@@alexcallender you showed him

[@havenotchosenyet]

Surprisingly the comment section is almost 100% positive. Now instead satire makes fun of white people and the comments there aren't so supportive.

[@hiho9149]

I'm sometimes hearing voices and sounds of rubble being dug out from below my apartment and I'm having trouble falling asleep. Blaming it on the grabblers reassured me that I'm not suffering from psychosis and has helped tremendously with my sleeping issues, many thanks!

[@OffGridInvestor]

They do this in NYC apparently

[@alfaseeds13]

Do you live in Brooklyn?

[@Davidson640]

THEY'RE COMING OUT OF THE SEWERS NOW WHAT DO I DO

[@Lerequindemort]

"They are always lurking like rats" 👀

[@basedchang2501]

I'm only in this comment section because I was brought over here as part of the Grabblergi plan to replace the host commentators.

[@rosskaske6357]

Honestly surprised this hasn't been deleted yet

[@l337pwnage]

They are worried about The Streisand Effect.

[@thatgreenslime9517]

Your confirmation bias is broken. Don't let the facts hurt your feelings! Just ignore them.

[@rosskaske6357]

@@thatgreenslime9517 huh

[@thatgreenslime9517]

@@rosskaske6357 over a decade of data confirms your feelings are worthless. Video is 14 years old. Is that how old you are? Your confirmation bias is trash.

[@vauxittt]

@@thatgreenslime9517 hello rabbi

[@philipdurham6905]

OY VEY WHAT ABOUT THE 46 GAZILLION GRABBLERS

[@JoeHeine]

Always watching 😂😂😂

[@panzerstorm9016]

IT'S 49 GAZILLION NOW YOU ANTI-GRABBLITE

[@Micho55]

one yike

[@simonthelen2141]

So how harddid your father beat you?

[@agall664]

@@simonthelen2141 from your grammar it seems his pounding(your father's) u still cant type or think straight.

[@MrWeregoblin]

Pile of ashes. The sides, gone

[@jackiec498]

@Gek Badass Whooa whoa easy fella, ya sound like a Nazi.

[@staywhite6332]

@@dabbingsquidward5748 Did we startle a rabbi? Lmao

[@silverybound]

A warm thanks to the many members of the Merchants Guild.

[@Khoros-Mythos]

hey hey

[@libertusprimus]

@@Khoros-Mythos People, Sseth here

[@eliasbouhout1]

This comment sheng fu is auspicious

[@FrancisYorkMorganFBI]

You're truly wonderful

[@iwansaputra283]

Generously funding and bankrolling these videos

[@kennethstarkrl]

The KZbin algorithm being an absolute savage suggesting this video right now.

[@VidelxSpopovich]

It’s because of the Palestine conflict I think.

[@deletdis6173]

​@@VidelxSpopovich🤓

[@ahmedalnajar1155]

Algo is based

[@GrandExiledMagnum]

Oy vey, he looks like my cousin, Mort Libenstraumsteinberg

[@maxwellmaler3015]

He lookes more like my uncle, Bernistein Rubengoldsteinberg

[@rediponto9588]

You may spell it wrong. It should be Liebestraum

[@jansteinvonsquidmeirsteen2256]

Hey, he's my cousin too.

[@bibin1836]

Steve Steve its my cousin throckmorton

[@ClassicHolic]

Hebrewberg Moneygrabber

[@Conan_the_Based]

“Imagine the Grabbler disintegrating, like a pile of ashes..” vintage Onion gave absolutely no f--ks >xD

[@Romulus-r6j]

"Swaying in a gentile breeze"

[@doubtingthomas6146]

Very good.

[@danielbushnell8730]

The only news station to report on this issue

[@JonnySublime]

Schindler’s List of Grabblers

[@msjkramey]

"exercise on Friday after sunset when stress has its guard down" hahaha (that's the Jewish sabbath in case you missed it)

[@MisterBones2910]

"I don't roll on Shabbos"

[@ddebenedictis]

And then there is the classic "picture yourself in a quiet space free of grabblers, such as a field or church" 😆 Truly the subtitles are as good as the dialog!

[@brambleknight7217]

You would not believe all of the absurd household devices that grabblers use to avoid working on a holy day.

[@y.s7787]

When did they say that?

[@HunterShows]

Jews?? Who said anything about Jews? It's grabblers we need to watch out for.

[@TheMikeHolland]

There is an unpresidented amount of grabblers in New York

[@2dawgsmiked684]

You mean, Grabtropolis?

[@itsnotatoober]

Learn how to spell you useless fuck.

[@itsnotatoober]

@Rose Anne Boushard Screech into weight watchers you old mess

[@TiberianFiend]

@@2dawgsmiked684 Grabbytown, according to one of their favorite pets.

[@anthonymeade7345]

Learn to spell.

[@saltt1]

getting recommended this now in light of recent events is cosmic humor

[@ka7al958]

Months later and this video stopped being satire.

[@LittleMan2300]

@@ka7al958 how

[@FaithRox]

This video, and also the News from the Future series on the war in the middle east, are eternal classics. Every year, something new happens, but every year, its all the same.

[@sigmaligma6443]

@@FaithRox lmao so right

[@antispaghettigod1201]

They missed the opportunity to call her book "My Struggle: Killing all of the Grabblers"

[@EscapeCondition]

The last thing the Onion needs is your notes.

[@rowingaway]

That would be a bit too on the nose

[@stervenmealey1097]

Who nose why they didn't

[@LePageChannel]

I don't think you get the "Solution" allusion which is way better than you weak "Kampf" allusion.

[@trojanthedog]

@@Yoni123 no! I never have. Please educate me now!

[@emjay9280]

Grabblers also like to import Stabblers and Kebabblers.

[@McBandMan]

Em Jay OMG! ROFL

[@planetclownfishbrain7052]

And blabblers work for msm.

[@BoqPrecision]

@Retro Boob I think he means my kind

[@forsenfan69]

BASED BASED BASED

[@shadowcat314]

@INXISIV no. Ashkenazi Grabblers have a very high IQ. Very cunning and crafty.

[@gx2music]

And for no reason whatsoever , the people decided to vote for an Austrian painter who detailed his problems with Grabblers in a book written in prison.

[@brambleknight7217]

@Bakari Wilkins national socialism isn’t fascism, it’s socialism.

[@dianablackman4528]

Doctor Spaceman The NS Party was democratically elected after a period of three-party coalition.

[@dianablackman4528]

Doctor Spaceman In politics, 37% is an excellent polling figure. Go get educated troll.

[@theanonymousmrgrape5911]

Doctor Spaceman actually in 1933 when hitler was allowed to come to power the NSDAP won 43% of the vote. I know that also isn’t quite a majority but that’s not really how German elections in the Weimar republic worked. Nobody could ever win an outright majority due to how seats were allocated. Hitler’s party won the most seats in the Reichstag and formed a governing coalition along with the far right DNVP. In European elections today it’s also exceptionally rare for one party to win an absolute majority by itself.

[@itsokaytobeclownpilled5937]

Doctor Spaceman I think Austria voted him in.

[@Driven2Beers]

I remember seeing Ms. Eckard at some sort of get together in Charlottesville a while back. She was handing out stickers with that funny upside down e that's used in phonetic pronunciation. Oh, what's it called? Ah, I remember! A schwa! Yes, she was handing out schwa stickers!

[@mollie4960]

“Like a pile of ashes blown away by a purifying wind” The Onion is and will forever be the best thing to come from the internet-

[@LeBoomStudios]

Take a look at "On The Grabblers And Their Lies" by Martin Luther. Henry Ford's "The International Grabbler" is worth a read, too.

[@RonJohn63]

The Onion existed long before the Internet.

[@jjcoola998]

@@RonJohn63 yeah it was a free newspaper when I was a kid you get grab around town

[@Christobanistan]

Founded in 1898.

[@Theophan123]

@@LeBoomStudios I prefer "Protocols of the Learned Grabblers"

[@DrewPicklesTheDark]

I can't believe this has lasted a decade.

[@JamieNixx]

Neither can I. I’m shocked it’s still here

[@Hopium500]

I cant believe its been 14 years.

[@christafarion9]

"... you know the kind of people who like to argue and complain in nasal voices" and then "yeah, they're always lurking like rats" OMG

[@BatAtBat]

I am afraid I don't get it, who are the blabblers?

[@ajbahlam]

@@BatAtBat black American?

[@swagcandy2576]

@@BatAtBat blabblers are the female version of grabblers

[@fernandaabreu5625]

​@@swagcandy2576We kinda get that part a bit but do blabbers belong to any specific ethnicity? Quite frankly I don't think I get the nasal voice part lol

[@perpetualheadache6124]

@@fernandaabreu5625Still Jewish. The nasal voice is another negative stereotype associated with them.

[@somuchfortalent]

"They're always lurking like rats."

[@RegeroTerra]

"Like a pile of ashes" This went from amusing to fucking hilarious real quick.

[@shooobep373]

+RegeroTerra why do white people have awful senses of humor

[@Magnificoooooo]

+mmm bop bitch we created what you know of as comedy. not like blacks were out there in the bush writing down jokes.

[@loqutor]

I don't know who's grabbling who anymore.

[@rock3tcatU233]

I want to grabble that smoking hot Aryan queen called Tracy.

[@AdamGoulett]

@@rock3tcatU233 Sounds a little jewie to me.

[@gunniteclan]

It’s always the grabbler.

[@realfinepork7308]

@@AdamGoulett they are known for being sex perverts. Despite them being less than 2% of the population, over half of men implicated under metoo were tribal. There's a reason nurnberg laws article 3 existed.

[@AdamGoulett]

@@realfinepork7308 Thanks ill look it up lol.

[@Sneedminecraft]

I’m NOTICING a theme here, but I can’t quite NAME it

[@Halesburg]

It's just a cohencidence fren.

[@AnprimGang]

Dont worry about it, fren.

[@bulldaggerwatkins190]

I have tried these exercises 109 times and it still doesn’t work.

[@nannan3347]

It’s not your fault, it’s everyone else

[@OffGridInvestor]

I heard it works at 6 million

[@drinkxyz]

Don't give up

[@paulocintra6092]

Ah, the old Grabbler Question...

[@Archetype77]

The GQ

[@LeBoomStudios]

Final solution to the Grabbler Question when?

[@basedbear1605]

@@LeBoomStudios Final solution is just don't take their tickets. Don't watch their porn... don't take their loans... don't watch their media... build your family, garden, neighborhood and ignore them. They will wilt away.

[@mclilzenthepoet2331]

@Superion 88 fucking christ you idiots are actually in this video spewing this bullshit in a satire video jesus

[@brianthul8263]

@Superion 88 if you keep saying this the CEO of Antifa can and will come to your house and stare, menacingly.

[@marcushendriksen8415]

LOL, as soon as I saw the word "Greedy" in the title, I knew the next one would be either "hook-nosed", "swarthy" or "hairy"

[@stevedrake604]

The acting on the "Today Now" segments is perfect.

[@Davidson640]

I've been visualizing them for almost a decade, still doesn't get less stressful

[@jonathanhanna9459]

So take the next step and go get some exercise! I've tried her routine, and it has worked very well for me.

[@lteralflow4641]

"Literal vampire potbelly goblins, are hobbling around coming after us" Alex jones

[@korvusgaming4927]

My spirit gets close to that evil and I feel it go, aaaaaahhhh AAAAAAHHHHH *AAAAAAHHH!!!*

[@korvusgaming4927]

@@R7EbLYuYnJ Millions are pouring in people of the very worst type and I'm so pissed!

[@jackwilson5542]

Chicken neck nellies LOL.

[@FederalMenace]

I think Alex meant his ex wife

[@thehandliesthandle]

lmaooo potbelly goblins alex jones is the funniest man alive

[@thematt5325]

Grabblers rub their hands together with glee as they kick you.

[@spitalhelles3380]

The most annoying part about the Grabbler level is how you have to fight your way through all the low level Grabblers before the Grabbler-boss builds another golem.

[@staywhite6332]

And it costs you practically all of your shekels.

[@Theophan123]

Do these golems comprise 13% of the population?

[@kl6544]

@@Theophan123 xd

[@25lighters91]

​@@Theophan123I've seen these sentiments ...alluding to blacks being created by Jews..any resources or anything that would lead you to believe this ?

[@srimaddukuri]

That low-level grabber-class is now “diversified.”

[@joshuaneace6597]

The Grabbler is responsible for me getting rejected to art school. I’ll take her advice to heart.

[@MrHowlforever]

Hitler part 2

[@soundwave9414]

I was so sad to hear about her suicide by stabbing herself 24 times all over the body

[@Leon.Stanic]

In the back too. She must've been really good at yoga.

[@scj8863]

The allies were just trying to Sab otage the axis. There's no way that they could blaze all of those grabblers

[@JMG_86]

Directed, produced and written by: 4chan

[@eugeneimbangyorteza]

Poe's Law 101: It's hard to know if comment is trolling or genuinely discussing the Grabbler Question.

[@MalcadorTheSigilite]

And honestly I love it at least it's funny

[@pheonixshaman]

Both.

[@user-73a]

airports law, horshoe theory, etc...

[@EXTENDEDWARRANT]

ya that’s why satire is tough cuz this skit is really funny but actual nazis also love it

[@eugeneimbangyorteza]

@@EXTENDEDWARRANT i actually laughed at the video but was horrified by how unironic most comments are

[@Thrifty032781]

I'm not anti-Grabbler, I'm anti-Grabblerist.

[@thomascallari8878]

Mark dice brought me here let's see how long it stays up 🤣

[@TheHAARPfacility101]

The honklers will honk until the grabblers stop grabbing.

[@waldroj01]

Amazing....the divine comedy.

[@kingbyrd.1512]

I read that in your voice

[@FuckYouCheney]

Highly underrated comment here

[@LeeroyPorkins]

Don't forget the Burger Meister Meister Burgers

[@Distimmer]

Ironic racism is... not ironic?

[@Amandafromappalachia]

All of your credit scores just dropped for clicking on this vid.

[@joshuam9796]

@thanks he's horny over some random Internet profile pic

[@petros_adamopoulos]

@@joshuam9796 You propose we all use avatar pictures of poop?

[@UserBeenBanned]

@@Angry-Lynx i dunno looks like one of those "why the long face" types.

[@checkmate1015]

Lmao they're onto us!

[@i-never-look-at-replies-lol]

haha yeah right, this ain't china. yet...

[@ElonMuskrat-my8jy]

The International Grabbler: The World's Foremost Problem

[@Kosh998]

This gave me an idea for a movie. I will call it "The Eternal Grabbler"

[@ElonMuskrat-my8jy]

@@Kosh998 Gräbbler Süß

[@WheresMyInhaler]

The Grabblers and Their Lies

[@joseph8298]

I’m more pro-semitic myself but I mean if they’re racist first right….? Or nah? What?

[@greg5478]

I can't believe that they actually dared and that they got away with it 😂 I love how extreme The Onion was while the actors are so good and realistic that it makes it look like a real soft tv show

[@Nofilter1976]

It feels like a leftist news channel to me. Horrible insane things they talk about while the whole time smiling. " How to stretch out your vagina without child birth" that woman said that perfectly, not sure how she was able to do it without laughing.

[@jesuschristislord77733]

Yeah this was the Onions golden era 2008 - 2010

[@JohnSmith-ti9uq]

You could actually make jokes back then. The west got super sensitive and censorship happy starting in 2012ish and onward

[@simoncowell1029]

@@JohnSmith-ti9uq Well, the stakes got higher when a big increase began in the number of people acting this stuff out unironically. Charlottesville, etc.

[@Xezlec]

@@simoncowell1029 Nonsense. Polls don't show any increases in antisemitism. Think about what groups are telling you these things and what their incentives are.

[@Drucifer0011]

I don't think this was appreciated as much 8 years ago as it is today. This is so based

[@sirnoisyboy117]

Hello based department.

[@AngryRamboShow]

Rapestein grabbled a lot of children.

[@ddebenedictis]

Well, eight years ago somebody snuck into my home and lit my curtains on fire, so...

[@ilevxhd8066]

Brutus Bear Check out the little caesars hand rubbing commercial

[@illegalaryan8400]

Imperial Way are you a fellow Nicker?

[@johnpontes812]

The Blabbler is literally the Grabblers wife hahaha

[@matthewmorrisdon6906]

She does not look Japanese. 😁

[@trla6505]

@@matthewmorrisdon6906 is that who she was supposed to refers? I get the jews, but the other one pass my minf

[@FiggsNeughton]

@@trla6505 No it's the female Grabbler, she's always the biggest loud mouth in the office and often goes into journalism.

[@b.lonewolf417]

It's the "nasal voices" part!

[@THEE_Kisywisy]

"Exercise on Friday after sunset, when stress has its guard down " 😂😂😂

[@DarthDimmadome]

“They’re always lurking like rats” 😂

[@hadid1092]

"They're alway lurking like rats" Holy SHIT

[@BigKnecht]

They just caught them crawling in tunnels in NY

[@maskofthedragon]

Good thing we got that on tape now!

[@seams4186]

They knew

[@Lesquille]

The rats can't deny it any longer.@@maskofthedragon

[@deathtoraiden2080]

The balls and talent of the people in this show... No wonder they never got the credit and success they deserved

[@MisterHoodrich89]

have you ever watched the "Porkin Across America" miniseries with the male anchor of this fake news show? it's both one of the funniest and one of the most unsettling things I've ever watched

[@Merry_McMayhem]

I watched this as a kid. I thought this was genuinely solid life advice and had absolutely no clue this was referencing jewish people

[@xX54MXx1]

It is

[@thricemindblown7883]

Ha.

[@thricemindblown7883]

@@xX54MXx1 Go back to Russia.

[@redsimonyt]

It is solid life advice.

[@thricemindblown7883]

@@redsimonyt If you want to take Hitler's word for it. How did that advice work out for Hitler?

[@Vyrtus_]

Just noticed the authors name is Christine representing Christians. Nice subtle detail.

[@engineeredaccess6026]

More likely to be some sort of humliation ritual or psyop than an actual Christian, sticking up for gentiles.

[@jedinxf7]

this was recommended to me directly under a story about Bibi Netanyahu, Israel, Hamas, and Gaza. the algorithm is becoming self aware.

[@dannygjk]

The algorithm is self aware in a primitive sense. Every account is trained by whoever uses it because it is a neural net system.

[@jedinxf7]

...and it's back!

[@randomperson6988]

Can’t wait for the final solution to the Grabler question

[@Leon-b5g3j]

The grabbler cries out in pain as it strikes you

[@WhiteLivesMattercom]

The sole purpose of non-Grabblers is to serve Grabblers. Non-Grabblers have no place in the world - only to serve the people of Grabrael.

[@MrDessirius]

WhiteLivesMatter.com white lives don't matter

[@mariussielcken]

@@MrDessirius awww that's mean! You're a meanie!

[@YouRSmalltime]

@Karl Marxsteingoldberg-Kikenschmitt buckaroo banzai style. Lock them in an interdimensional prison from which there is no escape.

[@absolutebollocks2258]

Was that a quote by Mr Grabbleberg Grabblestein? A man with protruding pubic horns concealed at the point of extrusion by a comically small head covering?

[@staywhite6332]

That is indeed what the imposter mongrels declare.

[@unconscious7219]

Grabbler cries out as they strikes you.

[@frozenrabbit5641]

Soo now that Grabbler bought The Onion will this video be blown away in the wind?

[@kourii]

'Exercise On Friday After Sunset, When Stress Has Its Guard Down' You gotta love the Onion

[@M-CH_]

The Comments section be like: this, but unironically.

[@M-CH_]

@Jagar Tharn Get off my lawn, you punk!

[@cutecommie]

Nazis don't understand satire.

[@lotsaspaghettimamaluigi]

@@cutecommie found the commie

[@songbird7450]

I was like: "Haha, the comments are hilarious, everyone's in on the joke and making fun of Jewish stereotypes... haha... Oh ok that humor is very meta.. Oh haha it's getting edgy... oh I... I hadn't heard this stereotype before... wait this is really edgy... like REALLY edgy... wait are they serious? Oh they are serious."

[@landzhark3823]

@@songbird7450 Yes.

[@Gehirnesser]

The moment when Onion is more serious than actually news

[@DarrenSemotiuk]

EVEN MORE SO in 2018.

[@cowcow3830]

@@i_am_not_exp2414 It's not really making fun of antisemitism, but it is just a joke.

[@cowcow3830]

@@i_am_not_exp2414 No.

[@badgerattoadhall]

The grabblers do own the news after all.

[@sewme7861]

@Bek'ahow are they making fun of us by stating something that is obvious and that we also say? youre such an idiot, you probably watch big bang theory

[@StainsStainsStains]

"he invented interest rates like the ones on your credit cards" Im literally ded

[@clownphabetstrongwoman7305]

I thought Onion does satire.

[@germaxicus6670]

They've been dropping truth bombs all along

[@jerrybear3081]

"Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society."

[@Mephilis78]

Satire is traditionally used to highlight truth.

[@lmfk6155]

Best comment right here.

[@robertc5251]

Comedy Geniuses