Land The Perfect Job By Having Your Rich Dad Set You Up (Brought To You By Cottonelle)

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This 24-year-old executive has a message for young people struggling to find work: landing a job is easy if you just suck it up and ask your dad for a job at his company. (Brought To You By Cottonelle)
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[@austin529]

I hear some people making excuses like "I wish I had a rich dad" or "Idk where my dad is." Trust me, I've been there too, but if someone like me can have a rich dad, then you definently can too.

[@vestibulate]

@@Michael-McCollum My rich dad used to bug me about my pour spelling. He'd say things like, "Don't you want to get into Princetown?" and "Who's going to higher you?" But you know what? You don't have to be a perfect speller in a blackmale letter. My tip- get to know your rich dad. Get to know him real well. Put in the effort and wach the rewards come poring in.

[@Luenysgo]

You mean you got a sugar daddy? 👀

[@PrawilnaMordka]

@@Luenysgo 😂

[@zen_mindset1]

Thanks. I believe I can have one now.

[@ElDuderinoh]

@@vestibulate bro wtf 😂

[@Noisemansoundinsect]

When I started this company, all I had was a dream and 6 million dollars

[@rolfen]

And what do you have now?

[@MaxRollison]

goPlay about 4 dollars give or take

[@anonymousstout4759]

Best I can do is 2

[@jensjensen9035]

Pinhead 6 million is not a lot of money to start a company

[@vKross]

@@jensjensen9035 it is a shit ton if you do it right, if you have no clue and do stupid unnecessary shit then yeah, it's not much, it's just that most people don't know how to even start one properly (not that I know how to do it perfectly, hell no) but how did other build up companies with just 50-100k or something from the state? Time, Effort, an Idea.

[@noahitman985]

give him 25 years and he can be a 'self made' guy who 'lifted himself by his bootstraps' to become a supreme court justice.

[@grogery1570]

are you sure? He doesn't look like an alcoholic

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Of course, he can. He has what it takes.

[@tomsnowden6201]

He's overqualified, our justices don't even know how to define a man or woman these days.

[@Chance57]

@@tomsnowden6201 What makes a man? Can you define it?

[@tomsnowden6201]

@@Chance57 Yes, a person with an x and y chromosome..Believe it or not we've put this one to bed a long time ago... Unless of course you want to go look at the 1.5% of population who have a medical issue.

[@Jkdabomb10A]

One word to describe this boy: brave.

[@StarSage66]

Truly stunning and brave

[@bootstrap52]

That is taking away from how hardworking and dedicated he is

[@timopper5488]

@@StarSage66 That’s two words.

[@timopper5488]

@@bootstrap52 That’s two more words.

[@lebensmann6528]

@@timopper5488 let me rephrase it. strong, powerful, inspiring

[@PhantomCooper]

Harness the power... of your Dad.

[@eboysix]

First

[@AW33406]

I'm the 3,100th like

[@chunkemonke398]

*coincidentally zooms in on a black guy*

[@mashedtomato2079]

Goes to local gas station to get dad out for milk

[@AW33406]

@Fresh Beginnings yeah that comment was pretty gay, 😔

[@Peabody6517]

the audience is the funniest part they're so sincere looking lol

[@wokenepali8376]

Just like TED.

[@8015908]

Woke Nepali they will always and only show the most sincere people.

[@sandhitalenoir6057]

Ya that s me..i was in the audience

[@kgfes]

The casting is phenomenal. This guy actually looks like those rich frat boys with punchable faces and perfect hair

[@gendoruwo6322]

you can see their faces light up like their despair has been relieved by a light of hope... believe in the power of Rich Dad ! You can too!

[@lunakid12]

"it took me THREE MONTHS to become head of... some kind of sales... or something"

[@kitkat47chrysalis95]

yep i feel this, at my work, capitalism is just code for kings and queens handing down their business like royalty, might aswell call our economy a caste system since your future is already set by where you where born, i talk to the owners son sometimes at my factory and he proudly proclaims "im the head of sales" like it is some sort of achievement lol

[@shreyvaghela3963]

kitkat47 Chrysalis blaming capitalism is so fashionable ehh?? Your country wouldn’t be wealthy it also capitalism is vague word anyways

[@imacrostutorial]

@@shreyvaghela3963 yeah, its more on nepotism actually

[@jasonfenton8250]

@@shreyvaghela3963 Capitalism is not a vague word. It's a pretty clearly defined economic theory with a lot of analysis and academic study behind it. It's also inherently exploitative and naturally leads to imperialism.

[@ryanbruh752]

@@kitkat47chrysalis95 just make your own business it isn't that hard. You just hate others for working harder than you

[@LivingGuy484]

The acting was so good that I actually hated this guy for a moment.

[@zelabotu1588]

X2

[@mani3390]

Gold XD

[@aperture0]

Serious question. If your dad hands you keys to a home and a company that he opened for you, would you take it?

[@aperture0]

Asking for a friend

[@shadmanimtiaz1874]

@@aperture0 I will take the home and make my dad work for earning more money from the company and creating value.

[@bellsTheorem1138]

It's great to live in a county where anyone with a rich dad can succeed.

[@rolfen]

Which country is not like this?

[@geheimnisvollerundbelanglo9396]

Oh what county do you live in? :)

[@rolfen]

@@geheimnisvollerundbelanglo9396 Wieso?

[@geheimnisvollerundbelanglo9396]

@@rolfen war nicht an dich gerichtet, county heißt Landkreis

[@johnsala1619]

Isn't that every country?

[@DannySullivanMusic]

An extra tip that I don't think he mentioned: try to have as many dads as you can to increase the chances of one of them being rich.

[@r.m7114]

life hack: make sure to be born to a mom who was easy around the time you were conceived, now you're sophie sheridan and you're extra rich

[@Richard_Bumblebee]

Does type of dad matter? I was wondering because I thought a sugar daddy might be a good option to have.

[@fruitygarlic3601]

Of course, not all of us are blessed with mysteriously wealthy gay foster parents. If you're in this boat, try looking for more dads on Seeking Arrangements in adulthood. Best to have as many as possible.

[@breadman2983]

God imagine being born into a family of 2 rich gay dads.

[@vibez2806]

@@Richard_Bumblebee sugar daddy works if they will put you in the will

[@Tickles_The_Oaf]

My own dad was never a big earner. So I took matters into my own hands and found myself a suitably wealthy dad. I asked him to be my dad so I could have a job. He said sure, then mentioned something about being a sugar dad. I explained that while sugar was indeed a valuable commodity back in the day, I actually wanted to be paid with money. Hoo boy! The things I had to do! But it was a job and my dad gave it to me!

[@civotamuaz5781]

Ayo

[@jamn610]

🤨📸

[@SofaKingShit]

You should always open yourself as wide as possible to every oppertunity.

[@cb5284]

I like this version of Onion Talks

[@unstoppableExodia]

I’m sure that rich dad you found made you do many unpleasant jobs. But you did what was necessary to get to where you are. But it was all character building

[@heartdistrict4360]

this has the same energy as private school kids who tell teachers that they “technically work for them” and have their parents bribe their way into college

[@palomapuntoycoma4619]

@@user-nd8vl7uy5x are you rich?

[@pozloadescobar]

Those kids need to work in the dog food factory. In the machinery

[@ethanwebber7854]

I go to a private school and my classmates are so pretentious. They say that they’re parents pay the teachers’ salaries and act all high and mighty. It disgusts me.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

It's the exact same entitlement and disconnection from reality. The biggest example of this being the 45th POTUS.

[@depressedphilosopherbitch7581]

@@josephamir1840 no need to be douche about it though

[@CogniVision]

Just get a small loan of a million dollars.

[@RedmundR2]

Yun yuckie

[@simonpeter5032]

This came to my head once I saw this video.

[@Milan____]

And by that you mean $60.7 million, or $140 million in 2018 dollars, which was largely never repaid, so more of a gift.

[@aangsstaff4174]

Mister Guy surely you have proof for this, Right?

[@aangsstaff4174]

Jacob Votava so you’re saying that you have no evidence right

[@user-nx7sd1yi7q]

This reminds me of when we had a presenter in our school aimed to motivate us. At the end after giving us tips to apply to jobs and how to look for a job, etc. he was asked how he got his first job in his profession. His answer? My dad owns the company.

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

bro

[@yutahkotomi1195]

​@@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828 bro

[@amabustyocheeks5459]

​@@yutahkotomi1195 bro

[@robzonefire]

bro

[@thewurstgarage676]

Bro…

[@justlola417]

I actually had to sit through an unironic presentation like this once. The whole audience was so mad when she finished, it was disgusting

[@Luenysgo]

Omg! I would LOVE to see this was it recorded?

[@Talia.777]

For real? 🤣🤣

[@hx5525]

Your boss was her dad?

[@natogfg]

So inspirational! After watching this video, I went to my dad and said "Dad, I demand a job!" and he looked at me surprised and said, "Sure, son! I'm glad you took on that responsibility. Now, let me get myself a job and I will try to get one for you too."

[@madhukarjonathanminj2772]

well your dad should just get a rich dad,duh.

[@IshtarNike]

Sad thing is people actually think like this. Just like when Bill O'Reilly gave poor people budget advice which included something ridiculous like have a rainy day fund of 25k at all times.

[@sanansa4567]

The same as Suze Ozmand, with her nonsense advice to skip buying coffee at the local coffee shop, as a method to retire 'rich'. For the $2 a day I spend, it is well worth it as an excuse to get out of the office for 15 minutes in the afternoon. So I can keep my sanity, get some fresh air and interact with people at the coffee shop while I enjoy myself for a few minutes.

[@Blueshirt38]

I have looked for it, but I can't find any reference to Bill O'Rielly saying anything like that. I'm no fan of the man, but even moreso than that I hate people spreading fake rumors. Any source to back this claim up?

[@SpiceWeazel]

@@Blueshirt38 I can't find the clip by itself but you can see it at 3:20 in this video. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hZCQc6GVbtieq7c

[@Blueshirt38]

@@SpiceWeazel First off sorry for missing your comment. I didn't pop up for me. Secondly, thank you for actually posting a source. So many people claim absolute bullshit that they have no citations for, then go on to tell YOU that you're the idiot for not believing them. So, lets dissect that clip. To start off I would like to reiterate that I am not any sort of fan of Bill O'Rielly. I think he's a deep establishment Republican, and I don't agree with most of his politics. With all of that, I will say that I think he's correct. Obviously some 22 year old single adult working barely above minimum wage isn't going to have $25,000 in savings, but it sounds like what he was saying is that it is what you should work towards. It sounded to me at least that what he was saying was that $25,000 in savings is the minimum a family would need to recover from any financial hardship. I don't disagree with him. After my first deployment, my wife and I went from $200 in savings to $6,000 in savings. Part of that was simply having one less adult in the house spending money they should save as disposable income, and the second part of that was an uptick in income. His main audience is (purportedly) of the median age of 65. The only viewer statistics I can find about Fox News in regards to specific ages is from an article that cites a different news source with is behind a paywall, so I cannot 100% confirm this. The only thing I can seem to get from Neilson ratings is that they lead in the 25-54 demographic, which is way too wide to gain any real insight from. So if we assume that it is correct that the median viewing age is 65, then $25,000 is what I would consider to be a low-ball number to have in savings, especially with the knowledge that the social security net will essentially be bankrupt within a few decades. I appreciate your response, and input into the topic. Thanks!

[@alvadagansta]

@@MrJimShorts It is an out-of-touch advice. Working at federal minimum wage for an entire year gets you 15k BEFORE taxes. If you earn below living wage, it's impossible to save anything at all, let alone TWICE your annual salary.

[@DeadUnicornClub]

I had a friend once that sounded just like this. I'd complain about how hard I had it and he would say: "I was there too once. When I was in college I got no support from my dad. I lived off ramen, but we all got to work hard." He now president of his father's car dealership. Dude was a fucking douche.

[@StamfordBridge]

You were friends with Romney?

[@user-qv2qf1jk5o]

You were friends with Toby Kennish from Switched at Birth?

[@Lackingx]

Cry more about it you poor piece of shit

[@Madmatt18]

quit being poor and just be rich

[@smonkk8556]

@@Lackingx nobodys gonna give you money for defending poor defenceless millionaires

[@Nick-xz8ng]

This is hard advice to swallow. Right now i'm barely getting by, writing this comment on my Iphone X in the guest house. I'm considering taking my dad up on the offer as I can't stand driving my mom's old Lexus anymore.

[@Smooth_Operator]

i feel you :(, very hard times indeed

[@065Tim]

I hate it when the house staff starts talking to you like they know you.

[@Luenysgo]

Yes, same, like I need the new Mercedes and Audi not the ones from last year that I have. Smh. It’s terrible cause accepting my dad’s job offer would mean I’d be the CEO of one of his smaller businesses. Idk which one. But I want a higher position. Why can’t he give me something better? Ugh Lol SO sorry about that

[@zen_mindset1]

Times are hard.

[@asmita2318]

Lol. True.

[@BankruptMonkey]

He's just so inspirational, he actually wore a suit to the interview and only abused his power over one of the employees.

[@xaviermoise7187]

Brian deserved it. If he's really that jealous he should join his own rich dad's company.

[@inspectorjavert8443]

They should have included a joke about the other poor SOBs waiting for the interview thinking they have a chance at getting hired. Frankly I think I'm owed money for all the times I've helped various agencies and companies put on the little BS show about holding an interview before hiring the bosses relative.

[@TooHooWrong]

Inspector Javert gosh is that actually a thing they do

[@mchjsosde]

Too Hoo tons of companies do this. They try to make it look fair but whoever's in charge has already chosen.

[@leoabreu9985]

I know it's not a great place to say this, but when my mom hired me at least I didn't have to go to a interview... People knew she gave the job and that's that

[@Subjagator]

@@TooHooWrong Yes, some places are required to advertise a job, depending on company rules and in some cases there are even laws in place for things like that. But ultimately sometimes jobs just go to someone you know that you told to go to the interview.

[@matthewallen803]

Recently I was at an assessment center for a graduate role with one of the big 4 consulting companies. One of the assessors quietly mentioned to me that the children of a number senior managers had also made the cut. Purely a coincidence I'm sure...

[@alexsmith5606]

just be careful, there are a lot of brians out there. make sure to get your dad to fire them

[@shawncasteels4812]

"If you put in some effort and you just tune out your dad's BS for a couple of years, eventually he'll die. And you'll be in charge." This literally changed my life. I finally have the confidence to take charge of my life and wait for my dad to die. Thank you!

[@ScientistCat]

Well it's been two years, is he dead yet?

[@renanfelipedossantos5913]

And he'll be dead.

[@AzzWalk]

My cousin came from a poor family but his girlfriend's dad was rich so he was adopted by him and is now the heir of their company. So think again if your dad is broke and you're arguing with the principles in this video, you just need to find a girlfriend who has a rich dad.

[@weetzybat]

This is such an underrated tip

[@pozloadescobar]

This actually works! Unfortunately

[@erikt3162]

Lol

[@pelado9293]

Finally those pick up artist courses will make me money

[@LootFragg]

Wait, wait, wait. So he's his girlfriend's brother now?

[@NosDarkly]

It's all so simple now.

[@moleClaw]

I'm checking out an adoption agency so this is really helpful. One last thing, Shut up, Brian.

[@TheSterlingArcher16]

This is sadly relatable. I work for what started as a family owned business which became incorporated. It’s incredible how despite presenting things as meritocratic, the grandson found himself leapfrogging over everyone to become CEO by 30...😒

[@aperture0]

That must have hurt :( You'll find a better, more paying job. Best of luck!

[@ElGordo2497]

Harness the power of your dad

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Only through the merit of his birth.

[@BeKindToBirds]

Companies like that are why most family owned businesses last one generation before going under

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

@@BeKindToBirds You think it's different in corporations?

[@anakinskywalker8640]

Finally Someone else who thinks TED talks are pretentious nonsense

[@alexj7440]

Some are good and some aren’t

[@Dman9fp]

Looks like somebody is trying to find the high ground......

[@neurofiedyamato8763]

It really depends on the speaker. I feel like TED talks don't really do much though. It's just entertainment to me rather than anything informative

[@ralph8677]

Well, this video came out the same year Erica Morin used a Tedx to complain about being single. Doesn't get much more pretentious than forcing a room of people to listen to your dating woes for 15 minutes.

[@neurofiedyamato8763]

@@ralph8677 TED talks are better than TEDx because TEDx is more of a independently organized one so the bar is lower. There are some good TED talks, but you won't see anything mind blowing from my experience.

[@ResurrectionRefuge]

My dad owns Exit 53 on I-80. Sets his own hours and everything... If he's holding his cardboard sign, that means he's open for business. It's a good gig and all, but he got kind of pissed when I asked if he was hiring. So now what do I do?

[@lesterclaypool1]

Team Lift Enact hobo law: If that old fucker can't fight you to the death over who's going to fly a sign at that particular ramp of the I-80 that just sucks for him.

[@ResurrectionRefuge]

***** You're right. Heads are going to roll!

[@inspectorjavert8443]

I think it would be better to open your own business in competition with him. There's no way his old wrinkled self can compete with a young woman lol

[@Ben-rz9cf]

seriously though i am legitimately looking for a work for rent type situation and the only people i can find are looking for females

[@inspectorjavert8443]

Ben Hinman I wonder why *sarcasm*

[@SmartK8]

I've tried it...and it works! OMG!

[@prisminc158]

I was gon like, but it's at 69 and I don't wanna ruin it.

[@quimblyjones9767]

Same (but less so) it is now at 123

[@ataready8810]

@@prisminc158 I have restored the like count to 169

[@d3xtr05]

Ataready U are a national hero

[@TacitusR]

I'm screwed. I did a poor job of selecting my parents.

[@19cp1]

this is painfully accurate. I know a guy who was saying online how hard he worked for ten years, when I know for a fact that his dad bailed him out of jail once and also paid $20k for his record to be wiped clean so he could succeed later on in his life. Also his dad taught him how to trade stocks at the age of 17.. I know how hard you worked bro, every night when you were partying with your friends with bottle services and driving around in big cars. it was a real struggle!

[@Luenysgo]

Lol but why do you sound bitter and jealous?

[@mysaria7641]

@@Luenysgo ... how can you not feel bitter and jealous?? This persons story isn’t unique. There’s tons of former rich kids giving all the credit for their wealth to their “hard work and intelligence”, while belittling everyone else who works 2 jobs just to afford an apartment and calling them lazy. sad that the only thing you could take away from that comment was an assumed emotion, which happens to be valid?

[@Luenysgo]

@@mysaria7641 Just because it’s valid doesn’t mean that it is not poisonous to your mental health. Not to mention it’s kinda off putting when someone has a bitter jealousy vibe. But it’s sillier than that. Think about it. Why make yourself unhappy, over something as arbitrary as someone else being born into wealth and opportunities? Specially when each and everyone of us would jump at the opportunity to have what they have with little to no effort too. It doesn’t make sense to me.

[@19cp1]

@@Luenysgo damn y’all are funny.. I’m actually pretty well off just like him, it’s the reason how I know that person. We run in similar circles. My point was that he didn’t do it himself, he had privilege and he acts as if he did the hard work which he didn’t.

[@19cp1]

@Shinshocks why are you so worked up?? I do invest.. I just love these comments assuming I’m jealous of him lol

[@thatonestormtrooper2760]

The rich dad was the friends we made along the way.

[@nibiyabi]

This was literally Mitt Romney's advice for how to pay for college in 2012.

[@nasekiller]

@Green Giant right, because education should be exclusively for rich people. how else can we make sure that the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor.

[@nasekiller]

​@Green Giant i am saying that education is a responsibility of society. just because you were denied that right, does not mean future generations should not have it better. oh, and please read up on slavery, since your failed education obviously did not cover it.

[@nasekiller]

@Green Giant if you actually did come to the the conclusion that "liberal education" means "dont think for yourself", maybe you should stop thinking for yourself, because you are clearly no good at it. however i seriously doubt that is the case, using the word liberal to describe things that are by definition the opposite of liberal (for example regulations) is quite common in right-wing propaganda, so it is quite likely that you are just repeating what you heard.

[@lovemoviesful2]

You know how Republicans are. They don't want anyone else to be able to get the help they needed, they cry that they should not be paying to help others, then when it's their time to need help they will cry that society isn't being fair to them and that they should be entitled to get the help they "deserve". The motto for these people is *do as I say not as I do* .

[@lovemoviesful2]

@Green Giant LMAO, thanks for proving my point. And it's not assuming, it's always the truth.

[@midnightawakens994]

This is literally what I see whenever I watch one of those “how to get rich” videos.

[@user-ee5he9oz3k]

He nails that look perfectly

[@GrandmaterP]

sometimes your TEDs make a lot more sense then the real ones

[@noneyagdb2756]

This young man is an inspiration to us all. To overcome adversity the way he did, my eyes are misting right now...

[@michellepaul8514]

Noneya GDB LOL 😂

[@onkelpappkov2666]

@Tatsujiro Kurogane I didn't get the ioke.

[@violettbellerose1173]

It's must not be easy for a dad to die, some of them had them young! Thanks, the Onion, for teaching me ~empathy~

[@grantriehm3230]

Worst-case scenario: your dad is not rich. In this case (and only this case) it’s OK to have a rich uncle and apply the same techniques.

[@PrawilnaMordka]

But what if my uncle is also poor?😂

[@niccolorichter1488]

​@@PrawilnaMordka than you should find i a girlfriend with rich dad If that Still doesnt work than you could find a special dad a suger daddy

[@alexmuenster2102]

>>it’s OK to have a rich uncle

[@onkelpappkov2666]

I have a better suggestion: Take control of your own life and create your own business so you don't have to suck up to your dad. Everybody whining about their hardships and how tough the economy is. I simply made my own brand. It wasn't easy but no one says it is. It's tough work but anyone can do it. You just purchase some real estate, setup some manufacturing, hire a manager and network a bit to make yourself known. After two years, I had paid off my dad's credit and I didn't even need his connections anymore. All you need to know is when to bail with as much pension as possible before bankruptcy, then rinse and repeat. And yes, it is repetition. You need to put in that initial work so you're not stuck paying off your dad's credit for too long. It might have been tough business but I've stuck with it for 5 years now, having survived 3 enterprises and only occasionally relying on dad to bail me out of jail. I'm self-made, baby!

[@davida8403]

My dad still sounds cooler then your dad!

[@jfrontier1]

I'm still waiting for my old man to die off so I can run the company (into the ground and take a massive severance). My plan is set, how's yours?

[@macbeth8393]

I don’t think you know how severance works...

[@rolfen]

When my dad dies I will inherit a few millions worth of debt.

[@satyampandey2222]

Run the company...into the ground! Thats some amazing humour ,five year ago friend

[@bongo5827]

@@rolfen LMAO SAME

[@PrawilnaMordka]

@@rolfen You can formally renounce your inheritance after him😉

[@dashwi]

I knew it was my fault that I am hard core unemployable. Thanks Onion Talks!

[@HolySoliDeoGloria]

Still inspirational, eight years later! Timeless and universally relevant.

[@pdcichosz]

There was an article on Poland's #1 Forbes list billionaire's son entitled 'he started from distributing leaflets, now he's managing millions'. I'm dead serious 😂😂😂

[@PrawilnaMordka]

Who? Kulczyk?

[@pdcichosz]

@@PrawilnaMordka yup

[@Edd-el]

"I know what you're thinking "But Philip, I hate my dad"". I was expecting him to say: "I know what you're thinking "But Philip, I don't have a rich dad"". This made me laugh so hard.

[@ArbitraryDoom]

Too painful onion too painful....

[@SomeFreakingCactus]

This dude’s delivery is perfect. I bet he was a theatre kid who could act out all the vile scum he knew growing up.

[@zer0_cool]

This is satire but I watched a Tedx talk that was basically same thing, "I borrowed a bunch of money from my parents and started a business with their connections and now I'm rich work hard like me!"

[@GeorgerGeorger-wh7zf]

Do you know the name of the speaker or the talk? I wanna search it up

[@TheHigherVoltage]

It worked for George Bush it can work for me!

[@__-go9cj]

Bruno Williams no problem. it still worked for the Trump kids.

[@emeraldashborers4261]

@ Say what you want about Trump, but you can't deny that his kids have just been an embarrassment.

[@mantistoboggan5171]

@ found the right winger who, as always, has nothing but buzzwords and insults to throw out there when they hear their cult leader and his vile family justifiably criticised.

[@jacobnorris8256]

@ Found the guy who unironically uses "libtard".

[@michaeldebellis4202]

TheHigherVoltage Also for Donald Trump. He got a ton of money and NY real estate connections from his dad. Many people think his actual net worth is the same or less than if he had just invested that money in bonds and I think that is one reason he doesn’t want his tax returns released.

[@zarkoff45]

These days you might have to ask your rich mom.

[@hallowelt6412]

True

[@2prize]

This is the American dream

[@DSCKottawa]

Right?

[@turdferguson2982]

I got my dad's secretary pregnant and blamed it on Bill from accounting, saving both my job and my dad's marriage, if that isn't upper management problem solving I don't know what is.

[@MildMisanthropeMaybeMassive]

This actor reminds me of Frye from Futurama.

[@GabrielSparkletits]

Thanks Onion, for that moving speech. And thank YOU, Cottonelle, for bringing it to us!

[@LivingDead53]

This is like when Hollywood tries to end poverty by standing next to starving Africans.

[@onkelpappkov2666]

Those Africans though, I don't understand them. Hungry? Just go to the store and buy food. Like my girl Marie Antoinette said: "Let them eat cake, hon hon."

[@lip.w.8910]

Example?

[@LivingDead53]

@@lip.w.8910 many of them have causes. Damen is with the toilets, Madonna adopts poor kids while letting others suffer, etc, not really fixing the root causes.

[@lip.w.8910]

@@LivingDead53 Hm, agree they could do better but it's their lives after all. They can't help everyone either way. We should all do the best we can for the world regardless instead of judging others efforts, even if they are half-asssed. No need to praise them either.

[@LivingDead53]

@@lip.w.8910 well, it shouldn't be about them. They use it as a PR stunt.

[@bloopdeboop1707]

This is what I'm talking about, all I had to start my company was my own determination and also a start up loan of 2 million dollars from my dad.

[@aaronborgstrom2696]

i say we all rise up and demand jobs from our dads.

[@GageEakins]

"But Phillip, I hate my dad. I know I hate mine too". That was great.

[@circeciernova1712]

Had a judge who literally got his position this way (numerous members of that family are judges in this part of the state) lecture me on how I should stop being disabled and just find a job.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

This shit shouldn't be *more* relevant 8 years later.

[@BANHMIZON]

holy shit, why didn't i think of this earlier? this guy is a genius

[@davecummings7477]

The REAL "Rich dad, poor dad" haha.

[@mantidream8179]

I remember going to school with someone who put 6 years of his parents' college tuition into getting a CS degree. He ended up getting a job at his dad's landscaping company.

[@therabbithat]

Ha ha ha an Irish politician literally said if people couldn't get a mortgage they would have to borrow money from their parents instead

[@TheLoremasterNojah]

You smell that? That's the smell of everyone burning their Robert Kiyosaki books.

[@Liuhuayue]

"And he'll be dead." *Applause!*

[@one_man_community]

Took this advice! I'm doing just fine now. Thanks so much for this. 6 years later and it works!

[@luciengrondin5802]

1:40 "Everything inside of you will want to yell 'Listen, just give me the job, you idiot!', but you can't for some reason". This is where I cracked up 🤣

[@mathewlau1733]

Damn this feels so relevant with the whole parents bribing colleges to let their kids in fiasco.

[@ViciousRanger]

Thankfully not everybody is like this. My friend was the son of a CEO, and he hooked me up with a job. His father made it perfectly clear that the network got you in the door, but by no means guaranteed you'd stay inside. The CEO had fired many members of his family, and my friend busted his ass working for his dad. The CEO was the greatest boss I've ever had, a man of real quality and morals. Unfortunately we lost a large contract and I was one of the ones let go, but it made me glad knowing that not all children of successful parents were spoiled and entitled.

[@skydroid3141]

Are you an onion writer by any chance?

[@frankySR21]

Now this is high grade satire. Subtle, and nuanced enough to make it believable. Bravo!

[@ladenbinosama7534]

My father can be considered quite rich in our country(hes considered average in the US). Anyways my dad didn't let my brother get a job at his business but instead let him work in a local supermarket. My brother learned quite a lot actually, I wish rich people don't just let their kids work in their companies coz they aren't gonna learn shit.

[@happyelephant5384]

Thank you, the Onion! This talk inspired me to finally get rid of complaining and confidently talk to my dad to demand job in his company! You literally changed my life for better. My dad died and I in charge now!

[@coinwater8511]

Even though it's fake, it pisses me off because there are people online who like to tell others to "get a job" when they're working at daddy's company.

[@FreakyBo0o]

I am deeply moved. I really needed to hear this today. I've been wondering what to do with my life for so long. This video opened my eyes to my purpose. I'm so grateful. You saved my life today. #forevergrateful #daddysgirl #richkidssupportingrichkids

[@moose4134]

You forgot the dry mouth noises during long pauses lmao

[@prismcounseling]

I like how the production value is higher than an actual Ted Talk.

[@taliakellegg5978]

i love how much content the onion has. i can think i've seen every video and watch them twice and then i find a new series

[@benjamingardner3314]

His interview advice is solid.

[@zorosboobies5346]

instructions unclear....my mom is the rich one

[@Bangy]

Even simpler, Just remove siblings

[@avrgegmer1396]

And I cant hate my mom

[@avrgegmer1396]

@@Bangy I see you cleopatra

[@pozloadescobar]

Wow! She must have worked hard for her dad

[@maythesciencebewithyou]

6 years and still relevant. Great talk.

[@westingtyler2]

this low key would be a great monologue for theatre actors to use on their resumes.

[@Tko101488]

I love that subtle line of 'he's gonna be pissed. I know, trust me', implying that the smug guy giving you privileged advice is so out of touch he couldn't even get the resume submitted right ...

[@persononinternet7868]

So brave to share his inspirational story

[@meep7849]

They chose the perfect person to play this

[@persontheguy]

the final boss of nepotism

[@drrnfl]

When I graduated from college, there were no jobs for inexperienced people. I never asked for special treatment from anyone, but my stepmother kept telling me she would help me get a job. Prob cuz she wanted to suck up to my dad. Then when I moved back home, the first day I was back, she cornered me in the kitchen and started going on about how my hair and my jeans and tennis shoes were so ugly. And she said that I should never leave my room without makeup. And she said, with a huge smirk on her face, "I'm not going to help you get a job because of how you look right now." I told her to leave me alone, and I didn't need her help and that my clothes and hair on my personal time were my business. She acted really angry and hurt and ran upstairs to my dad yelling "honeeeeey! She said she doesn't want my help." Eventually I got a job on my own, and every time I'm forced to spend time with her, I go on about how Im still in touch with my fathers last wife and that I just love her to death. My stepmother hated her and can't stand hearing anything positive about her (despite the fact that she was actually really sweet) The furious look of envy on my stepmothers face is worth it every time.....now that I think about it, this has nothing to do with the story. But if you're a jealous stepmother who's trying to compete with your stepchildren, go to hell. You're going to get yours one day, bitch. What was this video about again?

[@detectivedonaldkimball]

cool story bro

[@hamzaqazi4459]

I hate your stepmother too. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@htownsmookie6004]

This video was satire.

[@Syntox]

This inspiring talk is giving me a hankering for a nice warm plate of Cottonelle (TM) .

[@wendyokoopa7048]

Syntox umm cottonelle?

[@teo4704]

Thank you! Ill be trying this out as soon as possible!

[@raghi428]

For some reason, I feel like this could be Donald Trump jr.

[@Alex.R.L]

And trump Himself. His dad left him with lots of tax dodged dollars. Heck, if trump put all that money in a simple index fund, he'd have more money today. Lots of trump steaks and failed casinos have left him with less than what he could have had.

[@Multiyuppp]

Can't believe the Onion got Eric Trump to do this.

[@PhilMoskowitz]

We need to talk about the disparity of "Rich Dad Equality".

[@maitri5265]

"Head of some kind of sale... or something."

[@squirrelgray945]

The Onion is my soul once it achieves sarcastic enlightenment and can transmit itself back through time.

[@5gonza541]

Just by reading the title I new this was going to be good

[@jjcoola998]

And make sure to lecture everyone else about how they just don't work HARD enough!!

[@FightingPaintball22]

This should have a Succession spoiler tag…

[@wulf8121]

The 2:48 stock photo of ‘Brian’ is 👌 perfect. That innocent baby 👶 face man next to that twerp’s smug mug kills me. 🤣

[@insertyourfeelingshere8106]

“Ideas worth shredding”

[@dualexistence]

Why not just marry your mom and give yourself as many jobs as you want?

[@depecher6s311]

I think they patched that glitch in the last update

[@basedgodstrugglin]

This is good. The details of his speech... amazing and immersive

[@jordanmicahcook]

This spoke to me on a very deep level. I never thought I’d see the day that America would return to it’s wholesome roots… but this young man is a such a role model to us all. Thank you for all your sacrifices!