Why People with Trauma Struggle in Relationships

Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #495 | Tim Fletcher
Full Episode: • Trauma Expert Tim Flet...
Find Theo Von:
Website: theovon.com
Instagram: / theovon
Facebook: / theovon
Facebook Group: / thispastweekend
Twitter: / theovon
Patreon: / theovon
KZbin: / theovon
#TheoVon #TimFletcher #ThisPastWeekend #TheoVonClips #Trauma #traumahealing #Relationships

[@johnconnor4136]

Just wanted to comment here to proudly share that I've been sober for 1,669 days.

[@PimSchouten]

Thats incredible man. Mega proud of you. Im actually 6 months today. Hope to reach your number one day 💪🏻

[@theauntofdragons]

🎉🎉🎉 good job!!!! Keep going!!!

[@tonyp.bahama9368]

Well done bro, keep on keeping on!

[@outlier.mp3]

gang

[@pvillelde]

Good work! 🎉

[@Atacanfarms]

i’ve gone 3 days without alcohol

[@r1jereme1f]

I hope you’ve continued this streak since you posted. We’re all rooting for you. Keep it up, my friend ❤

[@reynavalo6201]

Nice brother... keep on going

[@tucsontadolini3344]

Great job keep it up!! I got 2 days sober and no job never been down this bad but we got this brother

[@lelandlugo9386]

Good shit bro

[@blueT46]

I hope you are doing incredible

[@praywithoutceasing2966]

Theo’s vulnerability is beautiful

[@mr12aT]

Probably a Biden supporter 🌈

[@BallsInMyCup_]

it is why he’s among my favorites in the current comedy sphere along with Duncan Trussell. hilarious, but can’t help wearing their flaws on their sleeve. addressing themselves and making others laugh through it

[@lulumoon6942]

He is low key making changes in society with it.

[@jordanburnett6453]

Literally

[@codyknight7569]

Hearing Theo say “when I saw a functioning family I would be like ‘what the f*** is this’” killed me

[@MsMak03]

😂 now I’m staying to see this moment

[@zackwebb8697]

Shits real too. Just seeing a family eating dinner together used to break me

[@MsMak03]

@@zackwebb8697 sorry mate

[@zackwebb8697]

@@MsMak03 no worries, I eat dinner with my wife and kid now

[@Shotzno]

It was even better when he said,”that’s the dumbest sht I’ve ever seen.” xD

[@DavidBee101]

That whole line about being fine until something triggers you and then fucking things up beyond repair hit hard. When it's too late it's too late, and you will hate yourself once you come to that realisation.

[@Lemoncare]

You got that right. I bail. I f/f run or fight. I did take Tim s course. It’s much easier to be me. Thank God for Tim Fletcher, and his compassionate staff. I am in recovery.

[@Portia620]

Me f things up! 🤦‍♀️

[@ahem8013]

i dont remember where i heard it but its something like “no matter how far along the road you are, you are always the same distance from the ditch” which is a little bit depressing at first, but also comforting, because you always know where the ditch is.

[@JuanAppleseed-ge6tb]

@@ahem8013 I've never heard the phrase, but I love it. Something similar I say is "the truth will set you free, but it's going to piss you off first." People who believe that their life is perfect and can't fail are always in for a worse reaction than a person who is realistic. I know exactly how close I am to failure, because it would take one bad accident, some legal trouble, or even a random freak accident with no explanation and I could be homeless by the end of the year. A LOT of people don't understand that.

[@musicallyfedmonkey]

The highway of life is filled with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision.”

[@cag1]

Theo is an absolute hero and role model for speaking out about this kind of stuff. How many of us have the same or similar issues and don't talk about it to anyone?

[@macg7785]

Not hard dude, talk about it and quit being a little bitch

[@blablabla2616]

Yeap being open and exposeing your truth it takes and shows true strengh.

[@Shinyflubba]

I do talk about it to people, but they can never give me good solution on how to remove the root of the issue

[@themajor333]

​@@Shinyflubbait's about finding what works for you specifically. Usually a combination of different therapeutic approaches work. CBT, ACT, EMDR, neurofeedback therapy, internal family systems. Creative writing...the list goes on. You need to research. The body keeps the score is a good book to start with. Gabor mate is a great educator in trauma as well.

[@Shinyflubba]

@@themajor333 thank you for the references and your comment! 🙂

[@zeeshan2561]

Love how Tim immediately went into listening mode as soon as Theo started opening up..

[@molls0922]

I noticed this too. It’s like watching therapy. I appreciate Thea’s vulnerability

[@molls0922]

Theo’s*

[@pixiestix726]

Yes!!!

[@lulumoon6942]

Total body language change.

[@PeterBulka-nf3rn]

I think it’s because Theo has so much compassion and empathy for his fellow man and woman he’s just such a kind person he cares I think that’s why people love him so much

[@jenniferfox8382]

Tim Fletcher is hands down one of the best educators on complex trauma ive ever heard.

[@Curious1304]

Agree! He's the best I've seen so far on YT by a lot. So many helpful videos on his channel - he really gets it, at all levels.

[@Krzy-hoo]

Heidi Priebe is also doing amazing work. Especially lately. You could check her out.

[@clicheguevara5282]

I have C-PTSD so I’m definitely going to check him out. I’m surprised I haven’t seen him before. I watch trauma and autism videos almost daily.

[@MoarRushPl0x]

I recommend Dr. Gabor Maté. This is the first time I've heard of Tim Fletcher but I like what he had to say.

[@amybrown3307]

I totally agree he is the best!!

[@eastwood111]

It’s so true that relationships bring out our trauma. The old saying goes hurt people, hurt people 😢

[@TheSpiritSword]

And healed people heal people

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

I hate that BS copout saying. Not all hurt people hurt people. A lot of hurt people have genuine empathy for others bcuz they know exactly how it feels.

[@Portia620]

Hurt people have helped people and healed them too!

[@Portia620]

@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533yes!!!! Thank you for calling out this toxic thought process!!!

[@ImLehwz]

I recently heard of data that actually most traumatised people actually don’t redo the thing that has been done onto them

[@CH-cm4qe]

Severely abused and abandoned by both parents as a kid. "Fake intimacy" is THE BEST explanation of what I used to be (dated old rich guys, made out with young guys in the club, etc.) and eventually I met my husband thru a coworker when I was 35. He suffered maybe more trauma than me as a kid. Together 14 yrs now with a kid. I reiterate all the time I don't want the BS relationship. We have gone into therapy at trying times, learning SO much about how our traumas shaped us and can say that we are MORE solid today than ever. It can be done. Just meet someone as fucked up as you😅

[@scottcates]

Thanks

[@LatteCoco1]

Very true, you could also spend some time being single, out of a relationship, to go to therapy and work through issues before committing to another person whom you may hurt or may hurt you.

[@oregonsnob31]

@@LatteCoco1yes this is true to a point but as a survivor oF CPTSD and child abuse i have been on my own for 10 years and in therapy and doing the work but i found that without practicing with someone else in a relationship things stay in theory rather than practice. After trying both ways, i find that practicing and trying with someone who is understanding and struggling with their own stuff is a better idea. Plus, haven’t we suffered enough??? Why should we be alone even longer as adults after we have already been so lonesome since a child?? Doing the work by yourself is key but you also deserve to try with the right person. Imagine reading about how to play basketball and getting on the court as opposed to playing one on one for just as long. Which way will teach you more about yourself and give you muscle memory?

[@Portia620]

😂😂. Got it! 😂😂

[@Portia620]

@@oregonsnob31agreed!!

[@RodriguezGorge]

I suffered severe trauma several years ago. I was diagnosed with BPD 20 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@Ronkaja]

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

[@Bastianbishops]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

[@SusanaGomez-mp8sk]

YES sure of Dr.benfungi. Did straight shrooms in few days. Left me like a blank slate after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. Shit saved my life, all thanks to Dr.benfungi

[@Edennnn926]

100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma

[@LuisaSweden-rf3ke]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@patrickcarpenter7751]

If anyone is reading this, you are worthy. You are loved. And there is hope. Love you Theo.

[@Portia620]

When does cptsd end?

[@tammyhiatt1804]

Idk. But that is a million dollar question.

[@kickboomuk798]

A randomer on KZbin saying that isn't gunna make people think any different lol

[@Solacethroughdeath]

I have been married twice and engaged now. We are taking our time, as the trauma from toddler sexual abuse impacted me to the core. This relationship is different. He has helped me heal and has allowed me to take my own pace in our relationship. I think the difference though, I finally love myself. My sexual abuse was not my fault, and I don’t have to carry that trauma around with me. I found joy and gratitude, which is foreign to me. I turn 46 next month and for the first time, am not bogged down by the trauma I carried around for 44 years. ❤️

[@whatdoyoulivefor735]

Inspiring

[@italishgirl5601]

God bless you and God bless your upcoming marriage 🙏

[@lindamon5101]

The body holds memories. It takes work& courage to re program the feelings& reroute nerves ❤ you got this

[@Portia620]

Thank God you found someone that understands

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

It had nothing to do with you. I had some low level stuff as an older child. I was luckily always able to understand it wasn't me despite coming from a hard core religious background too where being pure is way overemphasized.

[@rupz7064]

Its actually so powerfull and brave for theo to speak about these things so openly, really the kind of 'manly' we need instead of all these f*ing "alpha males"

[@brennancarter7721]

The alpha, sigma, beta male crap is just the guy version of astrology. “I’m a Sagittarius.” “I’m an alpha male.” It’s the same sh!t.

[@jadedbreadncircus9159]

@@brennancarter7721 one has to do with patterns involved with planet & moon alignments...& the other are labels based on social habits. I guess I see your point on how similar the sky clock & social hierarchy are the same.

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

The f does alpha male mean to you? A mechanic? A blue collar worker? It's all part of woke BS. Stop feeding into it

[@eduardobroekman]

@@brennancarter7721that makes no sense at all

[@Bonbob626]

Ummmm....I believe there is a place for some of it. The self improvement stuff. Because once a guy has worked out his trauma....he needs to also be able to work out what truly motivates and sustains him and what the expectations are of the people that he wants to have around him. There are masculine traits of strength, loyalty, integrity, being a protector that are very important for a man to learn in order to gain respect from women, respect from other men- and most importantly the respect of one's self.

[@IkamiLog]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

[@Calismooth9]

"someone you met in a service area" wth Theo lol. Love this man. He says it like it is.

[@danielsage3559]

Yeah what service areas is he talking about lmao.

[@americanfirst4378]

This is my favorite Theo. He makes himself so vulnerable by basically recording a therapy session

[@lulumoon6942]

Agreed. Am absolutely convinced he knows his comedy and persona is a front for his true life's work. People underestimating him is his Superpower.👍😍🙏

[@mattisonjones4839]

Fake intimacy is truly the perfect way to describe this.

[@miamendez2878]

Studied with Tim for 8 months, he's the reason I've healed so much from complex trauma and now coach others to. I absolutely loved seeing him on TPW -big fan of Theo! A surreal experience for me in the most amazing way!

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

I second that! I was just introduced to Tim via KZbin algorithm a couple months ago and he has reinforced my healing process exponentially. ❤

[@ssing7113]

What an honor

[@MarkThrive]

SURREAL!!! Theo and Tim talking Complex Trauma ❤❤️‍🩹

[@Princessbubblegum567]

Right?? He's incredible. I'm so happy the right people are finally getting the exposure. The public desperately needs his valuable and healthy lessons he teaches

[@KootenayGarden]

Me too, been watching him for years! ❤🇨🇦

[@judycowan1566]

the term gaslighting is from an old 1930’s movie where a husband is trying to make his wife think she is going crazy by turning down the gas lights and acting like he doesn’t see it when she mentions that the lights are not working

[@Cactus_hug]

Yes we have to tell the young ones this as they use this term but don’t know where it comes from.

[@brennancarter7721]

It’s good to know the origin of things.

[@BlGGESTBROTHER]

​@@Cactus_hugok b00mer

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

​@@BlGGESTBROTHER that phrase is boring and old.

[@BlGGESTBROTHER]

@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 ok, b00mer

[@Rebecca0010]

The thing that ultimately blows is how complex trauma kicks in when you’re finding yourself, or supposed to.

[@eg4441]

so hard to figure your shit out when there's a screaming child in the back of your head lol

[@pfb74]

​@@eg4441no seriously. It irritated me for years and then I listened to the noise and realized it was me. Changed my life. All my attention is now towards helping the poor baby inside🩷

[@BelleMoonbeam]

Theo’s sincerity is moving. Thank you 🥹

[@KateElizabeth1013]

This is such an important conversation. Examining how trauma shapes our schemas and the way we approach relationships is life changing.

[@annettemarado3668]

I pray for him. I can relate. I found my love at age 49. I’m blessed.

[@Portia620]

With all these games and no honesty …how? I’m about ready to be done and just started.

[@Allison_Antonia]

❤❤❤

[@akuasalaam490]

Blessed indeed!

[@MiaStayingCreative]

I’m healing from childhood trauma. I’m 34, never had a “real” relationship in my adulthood. I’m an only child. No family of my own. Sad stuff. But just like this man said: THERE IS hope. I’m in a 12 Step Codependency Recovery meeting that I attend weekly.. I also quit porn.. and I’m gonna try and start dating this year and make a TRUE change. Thanks for this KZbin clip yall 💖💖💖💖

[@jumbolumps666]

Don't date in your first year of CoDA. You've got this!

[@Raw.milk1]

Wishing you the best. I’m also an only child and struggled with porn.

[@Allison_Antonia]

❤❤❤

[@JJ-me4yu]

THEO OUT HERE HAVING THE CONVERSATIONS WE ALL NEED TO HAVE!💜☮️

[@bubba10051]

So true

[@JasonUceda]

Today literally marks a year that my ex left me, this video helps a lot. Daily reminder, always stay truly happy with yourself. Have a blessing day y’all.

[@birdo88]

Wow. I love Theo for admitting these things about himself.

[@benf1111]

Damn. This dude's honesty and vulnerability. Much respect.

[@BlueskyDenver]

A lot of people never address their trauma and at some point it becomes so big, becomes way too much for them to deal with on emotional and psychological level, and they begin to collapse entirely. Some people choose drugs and alcohol, some choose sex, some choose pornography, addiction list goes on. But if you don’t deal with your stuff, you ultimately gonna repeat the cycle over and over and over again.

[@SadisticKid.]

Theo, I want you to know that I think you are brave as hell. Love you, Brother. God bless you.

[@connieriopelle2145]

I hope Theo finds a strong woman worth continuing his healing

[@ScoutGrey]

me too...he deserves a human who will be there for him...if he listens to Tim, he has hope.

[@shadcovert1160]

Ive been alone for over 10byears now. 33 years old. Still think of her every single day, throughout the day, missing her, pissed at myself. She was absolutely wonderful. Just wildly beautiful inside and out. So so good to me. I cant say the same of myself. If i could go back in time, id beat the everliving shit outta me. Since then ive learned why i treated her the eay i did, and i know now i was taking my internal pain, self hate, self worth/esteem issues out on her. And that was SO wrong. I blew it. Bigtime. I Feel like the best of my life has come and gone. I sure hope im wrong.

[@powderandpaint14]

Absolutely, you can move forward and meet someone who is right for you now.

[@nonnie8388]

The best of your life is yet to come bc you have grown more than you realize by recognizing and owning what happened in your relationship that caused it to end. Accept the fact that it was an extremely difficult time in your life and you survived with insight that will give you peace heading into your future.

[@PS-qn4oz]

For many people it's just easier to romanticize someone when they are gone.

[@888alp]

We all make mistakes and relationships are not easy. It will happen dont be affraid, you acknowledged it and that’s freedom. Good luck 👼🏼💪🏻🙏🏻

[@whatdoyoulivefor735]

It's true there's plenty of fish in the sea.

[@JB-og7cu]

Felt like a fly on the wall in a room of one of Theo's therapy session. Wasn't sure if I should fly away or keep eavesdropping.

[@Monalisa0622]

Glad you stayed check out Tim fletcher. He's amazing. Don't know how this came up in my feed. I don't know who Theo is but Tim fletcher I do. 🥰

[@SAINTLAURENTPAPI]

THE WORLD IS NOT BECOMING TRAUMATIZED, WE ARE BECOMING MORE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ALTheFreeMan]

I’m in my 40s, never married, no kids, and I used to think that I was just “bad at relationships”. It was only until recently I’ve come to realize just how much damage was caused by me being abused as a kid. In my younger days, I thought that making it through all that just made me “tougher”, now I realize that it just made me straaaaanger, lol. For those suffering with C-PTSD, maybe a “healthy” relationship isn’t the answer, perhaps we simply need to find the “Harley Quinn” to our Joker, and vice versa???

[@rdub8168]

Exactly. I relate to all you said. We didn’t have access to all this free therapy growing up.

[@Portia620]

Not sure about that either. 😢

[@Portia620]

I wonder why so many men are no kids or wife and assume they are players.

[@blucantrell2]

Yes. Healthygamergg channel has a video about this. Matching traumas and growing together.

[@jacobsmith1105]

I wish for a harley quinn but unfortunately things do not work that way.

[@Dexter-300]

I suffered terrible mental and physical abuse as a child right up until I was 16. My father died when I was 8 and my mother absolutely destroyed me. Every day is a struggle but watching this gives me hope for the future and I get some understanding why I struggle in my life. If anyone else is struggling, talk with your friends or seek professional help like I am. God bless you all 🙏

[@user-sm9jm3il5o]

God bless you ❤

[@MidwestLori77]

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.

[@blockingtrash3578]

Theo you brought on Time Fletcher!? OMG I love it! Bro you are growing!!

[@pdubs1408]

If someone is looking for a place to start. Look into attachment styles, specifically avoidant attachment. That's what theo is talking about. Happened to me. Rugged pulled from a 7 year relationship from thinking over a weekend. Someone who thought running was a better solution than discussing those concerns. Stay strong everyone.

[@wojo6212]

Happened to me recently, 2.5 months ago. I’m healing now. I think she’s unaware but I wish she could see the stuff I’m seeing.

[@MrMan-fx3ow]

Nothing good comes from dealing with people who treat others that way. It sucks, I’ve been there too. All you can do is remind yourself that you did the best you could to nurture the situation and make a genuine effort to connect with someone you liked. You put your best foot forward, it didn’t work out but now it’s time to close that door and move forward

[@josephbrown9685]

That’s rough. I unknowingly had a two year relationship with an avoidant. I wasn’t aware of attachment styles at the time. Her behavior was so bizarre to me, and it was impossible to know what to do. It’s like there were no right answers.

[@pdubs1408]

@josephbrown9685 it best to take that period of isolation and hit the books. The discard was 4 months ago and I haven't heard a word from her. It demolishes your self esteem when someone you felt had your back decides to bail rather than communicate. Icing on the cake was asking me to be friends after. Don't beat yourself up more than you have to. It's best to express gratitude of the time spent, take what happened at face value and hope they save themselves from themselves. It's truly sad, people who yearn for love and acceptance but won't allow themselves to and let fear win.

[@josephbrown9685]

@@pdubs1408 Well said. It’s been over a year since we were in a relationship together and we talked yesterday after having no contact for several months. She mentioned about wanting to be friends but I told her that I can’t be only friends. I actually still care about her but I know I can’t solve everything for her. Sorry to hear about what you went through and hope you are doing better now.

[@JackieKowalski]

Not the colab we expected, but the colab we needed!!

[@rex8958]

Theo will never realize how many life’s he has saved. Obviously it is up to ones own self to get sober but Theo having hours and hours of content to lean on helps tremendously. I quit at the end of last December and relapsed recently, I’ve found myself listening to Theo again like I did earlier in the year. God f-Ing bless Theo Von, sobriety is worth it, never think it isn’t. Learn from your relapse and make sure it will be a one time hiccup

[@toliver8898]

I had a realization during this convo. The parent is always made out to be the root cause and then the child becomes what they are because of it. The thing is, the oarent was once a child too, and they likely had complex trauma that made them that way towards their kids. Every generation is just another layer of trauma and when you stack up enough generations, you see what a hopeless situation we’re all in unless we break the generational trauma

[@Night.League]

Trauma is gay

[@DuaneMcknight]

You're onto something good, keep it rolling

[@De6d]

Right there with you theo, tough as hell being in a relationship atm coming from a non affectionate childhood

[@lailahreich3205]

Tim is a gift. Truly.

[@miamor1212]

Sometimes it takes a certain person who is more important than our trauma to come along and incentivize the process.

[@christinefreberg]

The level of intimacy and vulnerability that Theo lets us into is a gift. It’s admirable and such an honor to watch. As a therapist, this is such a powerful tool for people to see and help achieve transformation in their lives! Way to go! Keep it up 🎉

[@hopeabraham1]

The realest person on social. Authentic

[@andrewkratz226]

This is great. I appreciate Theo’s honesty and vulnerability.

[@jerediahgonzalez2315]

More people need to listen to Tim Fletcher. His knowledge is second to none. I was never an addict but I've suffered from CPTSD. His videos have been saving my life along with DBT and stoicism.

[@asorsh3]

Thank you for always being genuine and having real guests. Real conversations our society needs. ❤

[@sloth6247]

Tim Fletcher is an expert.

[@thegamingrelish9272]

I’m actually going through this exact thing at the moment. And I’m working with a therapist on this exact topic. Growing up as a kid I didn’t realise how much of an effect my parents not being very present with me was effecting me on an emotional level. They were around but busy or spending their time on other things. They weren’t aware themselves that they were doing this it was just how it was. Dad was busy a lot and after work he just wanted to watch tv and chill out and my mum wasn’t a very secure person she never socialised and spent all of her time at home and was quite anxious. I then subconsciously started looking for a deeper connection through friends and girlfriends but obviously when you grow up your friends move or have a family and your first couple of relationships fail. I was then left feeling emotionally detached from life and myself, feeling disconnected with reality and still do sometimes even now. Not having this deeper connection as a child meant I relied on my self a lot with my problems, thoughts and emotions but that caused me to have low confidence, lack of self, lack of identity. All of this was happening subconsciously I wasn’t even aware of it. Next thing I know whilst one of my relationships wasn’t working out I started experiencing severe anxiety. I would ruminate about my ex girlfriend because her image was lost in my memory, I couldn’t picture her in my mind. I thought I was losing my mind because I was ruminating 24/7 without wanting to. My relationship at this time was already on the rocks and little did I know a lot of it was because of the lack of emotional connection I had growing up. The relationship ended and I became even more anxious and now depressed as well. To this day I still feel really disconnected with life like things don’t make me happy. It’s now a belief I have created in my mind because of a KZbin video I watched of a monk talking about how happiness comes from within and not from outside of us. My brain has gotten so anxious that everything now is uncertain to me. If I read a book and I’m not sure what it’s explaining I’ll obsessively think about it. If I’m in an area that I’ve never been to before I’ll obsessively think about it, if someone has a go at me I’ll obsessively think about it, if I watch a tv show and the good guy loses I’ll obsessively think about it. Even my speech has changed. I used to be good talking and now I stutter or can’t find the words I’m looking for. Another thing that I experience because of my anxiety is memory loss. I don’t remember anything good really, only bad memories. Family holidays, funny times at work, etc… don’t remember them. My therapist says it’s because my mind wasn’t emotionally connected to them so it doesn’t hold onto the memory whereas it easily grabs onto fearful memories so it’s easier for me to remember them. I’m writing this so people who might not feel anxious a lot might still be dealing with anxiety without knowing it because it effects us in so many different ways and it all started because I didn’t have enough quality time with my parents. So any parents reading this spend time with your kids and be present. Watching tv with them isn’t good enough. Get them outside and playing with you, spend time together making arts and crafts or cooking, have as many open conversations with them as much as possible, ask them how their day is and get them to talk about it so that they learn that they are being heard, also let you kids be risk takers. Show them you trust them and tell them you love them often as well and why you love them. Even if you find it cringy or fake, maybe because your parents weren’t as present with you so you’re not used to it. Just do it. I remember hearing a mother once ask her teenage kid what was the best part of your day? When I heard this I found it really cringey but i then realise it was because I never really was asked those questions growing up. Yeah sure I was asked did you have a good time but I never was asked to explain why. I didn’t really get to express myself

[@harryvickers1945]

Hey internet stranger - just wanted to let you know, keep going no matter what. Never give up. Things get better.

[@brandinator1996]

I needed to see this so much today. I'm struggling a lot right now.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

❤

[@paigeelizabeth345]

🤗

[@adrianimee8665]

I can relate to Von sooo much. Wish I could find someone exactly like him

[@KyOte13]

It makes me feel so much better to know how fucked up everyone is

[@damanodrama]

I listen to Tim Fletcher daily. He is part of my day when I am cleaning my house or doing projects his lectures are always on the background. ❤

[@ImSimplyAHuman]

Ahhh I love Tim fisher!!! What an awesome crossover. I love that he speaks to both religious and non religious folks in such a respectful, scientifically informed way ❤️

[@mmknzz]

Totally admire how honest Theo was… because it can in effect help so many others who feel/ have felt like this

[@BlGGESTBROTHER]

Its cool to be honest and all but if you never change your actions then what is the point. Like with theo admitting he's cheated in every relationship. That's a great firsr step but if he never actually stops himself from cheating then it comes off as fake pandering.

[@ievastola8271]

thank you so much for sharing this. I feel less alone. I’m 22 and I’ve been in and out relationships since 16. And I’ve always found myself soaked in guilt and disappointment from my cheating behaviour. Losing and constantly having hope that it’ll get better. I loved so much yet always ended up committing to hurtful decisions. Thank you so much for this.

[@psychedelicbookworm]

Theo! Thank you so much for having Tim Fletcher on your show! I discovered him about four years ago and learned so much from him about childhood trauma. You are helping many people by having him on your show, including me. Looking forward to watching the full episode.

[@KevinSanchez-ub3yh]

I just realized how much I’ve been gas lit my whole childhood.what an eye opener.

[@Cattyboomstix69]

This resonates HARD! Thanking you so much for having this conversation and sharing it🙏🏼

[@jenfehr1]

I cannot even begin to express how happy I am to see Tim Fletcher getting out into the world and media. I was blessed and fortunate enough to have Tim as a teacher in a treatment facility in Winnipeg, Canada. He taught me SO MUCH. And still does with his KZbin videos. I hope more and more people hear what he has to say. I believe he has the ability to heal people with all of the incredible information he has obtained. Keep doing your thing, Tim!! 😁

[@thehubrisoftheunivris2432]

I really like this guest. He's got a lot of good stuff on KZbin about narcissism and trauma and such.

[@Pepperhound211]

Unbelievable vulnerability displayed by my man Theo here. A national treasure 👌

[@louisesjoholm7684]

Theo seems like such a good guy.

[@mickricho]

Theo’s journey is truly inspirational. From the stories with Joey Diaz to things he talks about openly, with a full heart and without judgement to the guests he has on, it’s like we can live with him through his process alongside which I am so happy to be able to lean in to his courage. When two great separate circles meet you know you’re on to something. I have no doubt it is resonating with so many people and it is people like him this world needs now more than ever. Super cheesy I know but I wanted to share. Thank you so much, Theo!!

[@shelbywells4624]

Theo, I am a preschool / early child development teacher and you sharing this interview/information with your audience is just so wonderful. Ty from the bottom of my heart. This knowledge truly changes lives and makes the world a better place. 💖 You are brave for sharing and growing, change and healing happens when you have bravery in your heart and share with others - keep going. There is hope, it can/will happen, keep going!!! (Neuroplasticity is on your side!)

[@23alfaro]

I got 10 months sober this Friday !

[@nicj5354]

🎉 congratulations!

[@kingmaafa120]

Congrats 🎉

[@js7924]

Theo over here is a hero and he doesn’t even know it! Such a beautiful example of being vulnerable! Love you Theo!!

[@PS-qn4oz]

I agree. He sets an example of self-forgiveness and maintaining dignity even while discussing behavior he's not proud of. It's like he's holding a torch and leading the way for others who feel bottled up with shame.

[@kennywilkinson9270]

Theo is the absolute best. Using his comedy to ease into these topics is great and allows people to connect on a level that doesn’t feel uncomfortable. This hit the nail on the head for me and so many others I know. Thank you Theo for sharing your friends and research from your own journey with all of us.

[@iragarcia2186]

I applaud this man for his balls. Theo keep staying true brother. ❤❤❤❤

[@andreadebiasio8883]

OMG... I finally understand myself after watching this clip and I'm 60. Thank u so much. Mind blown 💣

[@Highvibin213]

After having a traumatic childhood . We tend to carry that and get an identical, romantic relationships, I’m 43 and after staying alone for 10 years and working on myself I am finally ready to give a healthy relationship a try. I struggle in the romantic department . Finding a real authentic connection is hard. Especially these days .

[@eastwood111]

Thank you for being so upfront and honest!

[@rickyspanish6261]

Theo!! Thank you for actually going through and voicing yourself. Iv NEVER heard anyone actually admit there real HEAVY baggage they carry into relationships, and that has its roots in yourself and not the other person. Theres a very common trope where folks blame thier roots of trauma on the new person in their life, giving them the love and time the one who hurt them NEVER did.

[@Nathanjoseph-7]

Thank you for this podcast theo

[@Karen-nq2nc]

Love Theo's openness!!

[@Lotuslaful]

Really appreciate the honesty ❤🙏🏻❤

[@cox137]

Thank you for this video Theo. I needed this.

[@lisbethbird8268]

I love that you got Tim! Thanks guys, will find the full episode next.

[@devlinfoyston5522]

Much love from Sudbury Ontario Canada

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

youre doing a great job, Theo. i appreciate what youre creating here

[@bubba10051]

Thank-you Theo for your honesty . This discussion really hit home to me.

[@coralialarios3275]

I appreciate you sharing this on your platform. I hope so many people in our communities take heed. 🙏🏼

[@unknowntosociety01]

theo you the realest! I learn so much bout myself through you and its therapeutic

[@volusize]

Theo, thank you for being so candid about yourself. I think most of us who care and have empathy can relate

[@sjcosten]

This is so powerful. Thank you for helping people heal.

[@Toddpeekence]

I really needed this episode, Theo. Thank you brother❤

[@robinedwards8796]

I really appreciate this conversation. I think every person needs to know this.

[@whynot4]

This guest you had is amazing everyone needs to listen to him ❤

[@Michelle.A79]

Loving these conversations thank you, Theo and Tim ❤

[@BrennaM-sr2gy]

Theo.. your honesty and vulnerabilities laid out on the table, is so masculine for one, but truly beautiful. ❤ Real caring, loving men and women, accept their past, and are willing to change the future..and put in the work to do so! He's come so far. I truly hope he continues to stay true to his words and keeps moving forward! 🥺😭❤️

[@77SunnyDazeInDecember]

Thank You! Seriously, Thank You, Theo, for having this guest on to talk about these things. Much, much needed!

[@ERRNCAM1]

Thank you for your candidness. I'm a woman, and hearing it from a guy explains a lot and is healing. I've had childhood trauma and see myself being responsible for the feelings of others, being gaslighted from childhood by dysfunctional parents, and later in marriage. Thank you for this, and thank you the most for being so honest.

[@CatsPaw-vx2zz]

Tim has helped me soooo much! I’ve been listening to his videos for months. Thanks for having him on!!!!

[@Nicefoolkilla]

I highly appreciate and respect Tim Fletcher.

[@wojo6212]

I like how open Theo is. It’s brave and intriguing.