Anxious Attachment and Separation, FA's & Dating Apps, Boundaries, Core Wounds & Needs

7-Day Free Trial: university.per...
Setting Boundaries to End Compulsive People-Pleasing & Create Authentic Connections Course: university.per...
Guided Processes Course to Reprogram Core Wounds Course: university.per...
Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs Course: university.per...
Open Q&A: Anxious Attachment and Divorce, FA's & Dating Apps, Boundaries, Core Wounds & Needs
Anxious Attachment & Dating Someone Divorced
Fearful Avoidants & Dating Apps
Core Wounds of Attachment Styles
Needs Identification and More!
Do you know what your Attachment Style is? Take my quiz to find out now, and begin healing your relationships! Click here: attachment.per...
Lastly, if you’re interested in shorter form content and tips, follow my Instagram page! @personaldevelopment_school
I post every other day, and you'll find some completely new content there :)
Thank you for watching!

[@chrisredfield3688]

This woman is going to help alot of people

[@marisawood1285]

+ is helping

[@grazingbelles9326]

Definitely helped me more then any kind of therapy.

[@J3NNYG28]

She already Is helping !!! 😘 I am grateful for you Thais!

[@natibelfortunato6879]

She already has. 🥲💟

[@christopherbroucek5052]

Helping me so much it’s been 1 day of work and 6 days of watching videos

[@tulip5210]

If your still taking video requests I would like a video on fearful avoidants late reactions, like for instance realizing like 3-4 days later they were insulted, or like a year later that someone was flirting with them or had a crush on them

[@MsPaint1]

Yes, please more FA videos in general. It’s the least talked about from other sources I’ve seen

[@Maiden_Warrior_Crone]

Oh, YES! This would be great! As an FA, I laugh that it usually takes me 48 hours to process a conversation and realise what was said and implied.

[@mer-ced-es]

OH MY GOD PLEASE. I'm going to ask for a video on this underneath one of her most recent videos ok?

[@natibelfortunato6879]

Oh my gosh. Yes! This. I am literally experiencing this right now. Something happened yesterday that I didn't like and that made me feel bad but I froze and didn't calmly express that. It is now the next day and I am wondering why I didn't and couldn't and want to calmly chat with the person I interacted with. However, sometimes this isn't ideal in certain cases and especially after more than a day has passed. I would love a video on this. Although I feel like it partly has to do with boundaries and me not having identified them clearly enough, therefore I am not able to express them clearly. I would love to hear your thoughts about this, Thais :)

[@ang467]

Any updates? Wondering if there is a video on it 2 yrs later ❤

[@thehapagirl92]

7:07 OMG that girl TOTALLY gets me. Men on dating apps don't seem to be interested in deep conversations. This guy I was dating literally said what that girl said about how he thought deep conversations mean the relationship is moving too fast. That's so fucking stupid! How can deep conversation mean the relationship is moving too fast? The whole point of dating someone is to move toward a deeper commitment which means having conversation that isn't just surface level bullshit about the weather and sports.

[@rainbow9987]

Because those guys in those hookup apps want sex, not a deep connection relationship.

[@timrxn5414]

Simonne, there ARE good guys that want deep conversation, deep connection and a deep relationship. But I’ll admit, we are not the majority. Keep looking. You will find. One other thing - we tend to be shy about presenting that part of ourselves because a lot of women too do not want depth. At least not early on.

[@s_e_w_p_h_i_e]

‘People get confused with love and their attachment style being activated’ :O

[@nicuzza09]

It’s so amazing how much you give for free, I can’t even imagine how many people you help because of it. Listening to some of the FA questions sounds like typical INFP traits. Do you see certain triggers and attachment styles correspond to different MB types?

[@Borboleta1212]

nicuzza09 INFP here with predominantly FA traits! I do have a lot of the DA traits also (37% FA, 32% DA) so let’s say i have a lot of homework to do on myself lol

[@junwu3277]

I was just thinking about this! I'm INFP and Eneargram 4, but I'm anxious preoccupied. So many of the traits in these types correlated with each other. I cant imagine a DA being an INFP. It would be interesting to see the correlation between attachment styles and personality types.

[@camillod734]

I just signed up for her 90 day program. A lot better than I expected. A+

[@ASMRLo-fii]

Thank you so much for your videos. I had no idea how much my attachment style was impacting my life until now. Bought your courses and can happily say they are slowly changing my life. Thank you so much!

[@dyannemanka]

This is very useful. Thank you.

[@angelaolooney2751]

Hi Thais, can you do a video how each attachments style related to their employer/boss. Many thanks.

[@marshallrobinson1019]

Thias, my personal theory is this: Anxious Avoidant attachments are the one type of attachment who are extremely wounded by "No Contact." Following such a protocol with them is tantamount to encouraging suicide. They are the only type whom would be sensitive enough to listen and logically realize a breakup is necessary (to prevent further pain). From my perspective, they'd probably help you pack and sort out possessions. At least, this has been my own personal feelings and experience on the subject. What do you think?

[@nataliescott9119]

I agree with this. I’m AA , going through no contact and it feels like constant panic. The thing you fear most has happened. The person has withdrawn and you feel sick as that is when you destroy yourself about why don’t deserve to be spoken too.

[@marshallrobinson1019]

@@nataliescott9119 AA really need to be able to prepare themselves for the disconnect.

[@caycic1]

Also, doing NC is so hard too.

[@melanieluft4955]

@@nataliescott9119 Hey guys we actually have a discord group for anxious attachment styles, as well as some FAs and recently even a DA joined us! Where we basically heal towards being secure, a lot of us have been broken up with by a DA , going through NC and all that And we really support, share our stories, help and keep eachother in check, feel free to join if you need support and stuff

[@AspienWaifu]

@@melanieluft4955 I wanted to join the discord group, I'm struggling as an AA mixed with FA tendencies and because of the current pandemic, my therapy is on hold. The link doesn't work, would you be able to post a link to join that group?

[@marshallrobinson1019]

I don't believe an anxious avoidant would ever again trust enough to have a relationship. Not after being brutalized by the current trend saying, "No Contact Solves Everything!!!" So, the post divorce question is irrelevant.

[@yellowisme]

This is so profound!! Thank you. Learning a lot

[@shobhajawaharani6418]

Thanks,this is so useful.

[@jamierobinson5841]

Cant thank u enough thais 😊

[@wesley6442]

This Romantic involvement with a fearful avoidant and me being an anxious preoccupied is making me bleed profusely everywhere, every deep gouging wound I have from my childhood is laid bare and I feel like I am taking swords to the heart with every word. I am so in my head and I can't get out I try to get busy do what made me happy before I met this person, but I start to miss them, but I know talking to them will never meet my emotional needs even if I strip myself completely and say all my needs, and wants. one minute it is heaven it is amazing, then I will say one wrong thing and it all comes apart then I feel they will leave me and I don't want to deal with the loss and I become depressed, I'm stuck. maybe I am a glutton for punishment or insane

[@kicksalot9943]

I’m in the same situation, I’m anxious due to my ex wife of 16 years. I have been dating my girlfriend who is fearful avoidant for about a year 1/2. We love each other all our kids get along we have talked about long term goals together and planned vacations. But she goes thru these lows and pulls away and wants space and it sends my anxiety thru the roof because I worry she will fall out of love and leave me like my ex did. And I get stuck in my head ruminating about breaking up.

[@realmext2241]

Same situation for me for a year. I keep trying but it goes nowhere. The moment I pull away, she comes back but I'm not in any state for the meaningful talks I so want us to have. It's extremely painful and does not look like it will end well.

[@edithhsedits226]

Loving your videos and sharing them with everyone I know! 😀

[@allimai]

Thank you so much, I am in awe

[@zyllbee4115]

2:01

[@snoopi718]

I appreciate you having a course on learning how to trust for us FAs, but I don't want to trust anyone. I feel that I'm better off not.

[@kicksalot9943]

I am anxious fearful and my girlfriend is fearful avoidant we have been together for a little over a year. And now I feel she is becoming distant and almost a 180 about how she feels about me. This has triggered my anxious style and creating fears of loosing her. We communicate very well together and even took the attachment style quiz together. Is there hope for us to make it through this rough patch we both love each other very much.

[@adinubila]

is there a script to tell someone you were offended by something they did/said and it feels like they keep doing it and know it hurts your feelings

[@englishwithsanjuktadas]

Thank you so much

[@knitnpaint]

Can an avoident attachment guy show up consistenly ?

[@me-lr1vs]

Ugh!! The part about obedience.... Those words fit all too well. 😔

[@Ludguallon]

Good content. Consider the "uhms" going forward.

[@NicoleLam]

OMG the last question about recovering AA dating a secure person is literally me right now - thank you to whoever asked it HAHA