How To Get My Ex Back - The Male Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style | Romantic Relationship Advice

[@cloudslady3400]

A promise to dear self: no matter what I feel I will never date a DA or any emotionally unavailable person I do deserve better than this! 👍

[@upsykimsy]

But often, you don't recognise what attachment style someone has until you've begun dating them, several weeks/months down the line, and that's only if you have the awareness to know about attachment styles.

[@cloudslady3400]

@@upsykimsy yeah maybe but for me because I read a lot about attachment styles I can realize it very fast.. for example people who call themselves cold.. are more likely avoidants..people who have difficulty expressing their emotions are also avoidants I think it is very clear I can guess it in a week or so spent more time before calling him or her a boyfriend or a girlfriend is the key.. know them well before building any kind of emotional connection with them in your head🙃👍👍

[@brunoferreira553]

thais says is possible to figure out the attachment style of your date around 3 or 4 dates. That's pretty quickly. ATTACHED book also says it is possible to figure it out in a few weeks to a few months. To figure it out quickly you need to make the right questions and use effective communication.

[@cloudslady3400]

@@brunoferreira553 yeah exactly! just care about understanding them it is not hard at all listen well and notice their reactions😉👍👍!

[@cloudslady3400]

@@brunoferreira553 I even started to guess people's attachment styles online.. Just by having some conversations with them on any app.. it is so clear to me it comes naturally🙂🙂😌

[@giovannaramello666]

Jesus Christ that’s just not worth it. Take the time away from the DA to strengthen your boundaries and never return to a relationship that leaves you questioning your self worth and puts you in a deeply anxious state. I vented about how I felt I was being given breadcrumbs and how much it was hurting me and he just said I didn’t need to worry about his breadcrumbs anymore and blocked me in every social media possible. Can you truly communicate with someone like that? No. Not then, not now, not ever. It hurt a lot but apart from the disappointment I’m just glad that he did the hardest part (something I was too codependent for) and now I see myself free from anxiety and need for validation. Never again.

[@stefaniegodfrey6155]

Yes

[@adoptioncorner1984]

😢

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Staaze23]

In my case he didn’t even make that effort of ending it. He just left me in that confusion feeling like I’m going crazy for nothing. But someone who does absolutely nothing for you and for the relationship is not okay. It’s not because he didn’t make something bad that he’s innocent and that it’s my fault to feel the way I do.

[@nicolabrittain3101]

Yes, Ive never felt so insecure. Bloody awful relationship. He was TOTALLY devoid of empathy

[@starshake8998]

All of these videos skip over the fundamental starting problem. Avoidants don't want to talk in the first place. That's the WHOLE problem. It doesn't matter how brilliant and well-thought out our communication plan is if the guy is only willing to watch TV or talk about movies and the minute you mention anything real, he's tired and needs to leave. Make a video that specifically tells us how to deal with THAT.

[@julieb4765]

Very true. The last real conversation I had, I asked him if I could call so we could discuss the misunderstanding that upset him and he just said, "I don't really want to honestly." I'm better off without him.

[@deniseulrich3684]

So true, no matter how well thought out I start a conversation with him, as soon as I approach anything that has to do with our relationship, his emotions or lack of, he immediately get frustrated, negative, nasty, and then if he can bring himself down he just throws out a statement that has nothing to do with what we were originally talking about. Happens every time.

[@Princess_0f_Trees]

Exactly. I would have said so many of these things if I hadn’t been asked over and over again to give him space. He was never nasty towards me. But, I had no opening. He never gave me one.

[@regulatefitness]

As a male with a Detachment-avoidant lean I can relate to this and in the past I totally used to go into my ‘cave’. It caused to breakdown of many relationships after my partner finally got so exasperated it ended. Ultimately I had to recognise this pattern was destructive and it had to change. It’s still definitely a work in progress but now rather than going into a cave I ask for extra time to process what I’m feeling and then re-engage to discuss. What I’ve interpreted from a lot of Thais videos is ultimately you need to respect your own needs & boundaries, communicate them clearly and set a deadline for progress. If the partner isn’t then willing to do the work then there may not be the right person? A demonstration of love and vulnerability is to be able to admit to your flaws and be willing to work on them because you value & respect your partner. It’s folly to stay in something that continuously makes you feel unfulfilled & unhappy and it doesn’t matter how much time you’ve already invested (Sunk cost fallacy).

[@web3wizard381]

You should get therapy until you gather the self-respect and self-love and standards to not want an avoidant

[@airbubble.]

I just bought your book. I'm planning on throwing at my ex's head. That might make him start communicating with me.

[@SK-no2pp]

I doubt it. Good luck.

[@mer-ced-es]

Lol!

[@astrale-l3n]

very effective lol he will rage

[@astrale-l3n]

@@Alphacentauri819 hahaha i love that analogy and i hate turtles, they're cute only to watch, not very responsive to touching and love (im AP lol)

[@airbubble.]

@@Alphacentauri819 I wouldn't really throw the book at him, any more than I would shake a turtle. I love my bloke. Its just so frustrating him not talking to me. Its been three months now. I have no need to better myself, there's absolutely nothing wrong with who I am. I know my self-worth. I am confident, secure and intelligent, loving, kind and successful in my field. All qualities that he was attracted to. Our break-up is purely down to his emotional engulfment, resulting retreat and a strategically placed manipulative previous ex-girlfriend, who also happens to be his buffer. I am using this time to enjoy the shared interests that we used to have, in the hope that he will engage with that, and doing some of the things I haven't been able to do as much of, now the lockdown has eased - such as going to the gym instead of working out at home, cycling, publishing some more of my work, researching, writing new material, spending time with my horse etc. But thanks for your concern ;)

[@Emma-qu1kq]

Jumping through all of these hoops for a DA is such BS when they would never do the same for someone else. They will always choose leaving over doing the emotional labor..

[@AllyBro420]

Too real.

[@SmartStart24]

Always.

[@austinnguyen9107]

We all deserve a secure partner and we won't consider going back to the BS

[@kathleenburns4850]

They can’t help it; they have been damaged.

[@astrale-l3n]

@@kathleenburns4850 we all have been damaged. They should put some effort as this is not only healthy for the relationship but for themselves specifically, and this is why we’re all here: to evolve spiritually and be better people.

[@busyazn]

Thanks for your explanation. Dating a male DA is hard, especially if they don't communicate. Great tips. Thank you for validating why I have a deadline with him. 5:15 Give a deadline on the relationship progress. 6:25 Define your boundaries: what will you put up with? What are the non negotiables? What' wasn't working for you? Write out those things. Phrase it as a need. 8:35 Know the why and convert it into a specific need. 9:03 Get specific on what he , the DA, needs. When he pulls away, he feels misunderstood. They want their emotions understood & felt heard. Validate their feelings. Wait until the 6th week or the loss of the relationship, start light then open the dialogue. Show empathy, ex: I would feel " whatever emotion they felt". Communicate specific ideas or strategies to deal with this next time. 14:25 Justification of your behavior will limit your growth. Observe your behavior. Show seasoning of support/ empathy/understanding. 16:20 Have a conversation/ communication, preferably face to face. Acknowledge your points of what you recognize of their feelings. They appreciate it bc they process this logically. It's your job to insert your needs, too. 18:40 Assemble solutions & ask "does this make sense, is this something we can compromise on?" Spend time together & enjoy it. Don't put pressure on having a relationship. Practice communicating your needs & checking on their needs weekly. Later if things are going well, communicate your need for a commitment on what they fear & ask for feedback (is that something you're interested in, what are you afraid will happen, etc).

[@karenthompson5539]

Your explanation about how a DA's negative programming about relationships & vulnerabilty may be offsetting his level of interest rings true and helped me to understand a promising relationship that never got off the ground. I could literally see and feel the conflict he was experiencing when we were together. 😪

[@katelynkloeppel5243]

SAME. his anxiety was obvious and stressed me out!

[@janewui46]

I can recommend you to someone who can help you 💋💋💋

[@janewui46]

Contact him on WhatsApp

[@janewui46]

[phone] 💕💕💕💘💘

[@kimberlyweeks6732]

I know of someone who can help you now

[@ZaiyaKai]

I hope everyone here heals... and becomes secure attachment style and no longer chases DA's - it's painful as hell and nobody is going to change them, but them - and that's going to take some major life event to heal all that trauma. He cannot show up for you and does not have the capacity to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Find out why you choose DA's - that is the real homework to do - to help your future.

[@tachibanamei6647]

This is the real assignment

[@ambivalent5842]

Sometimes one doesn't know they are a Dismissive or leaning dismissive until bonded. If someone is trying and steps up most of the time, I don't believe in throwing them away, but looking at the whole picture. It is two people and two people's needs , wants , and desires

[@johnabreu1782]

It’s really sad read all this comment make me realize I won’t come back where I was rejected more than 10 times 5 months of happiness unbelievable feelings 9 months os heartbroken ; insecurities ‘ questioning myself why I couldn’t understand but as I am the oldest I do understand fear ; disappearing ‘ nervous 😬 when you can’t be yourself and have no options and the only one is going to your mind is run and leave without explanation I was doing my 100 for this to work but I fail I would never going to humiliate myself for none I deserve some respect I won’t insist when soneone tells me no I have to understand and back up focus on myself

[@chocolatykitten]

Part 2: how to recover and heal from an EX who was a DA😉

[@kmac1480]

Thank you ..anyone you have lived with for years who walks out the door and needs 6 weeks to register the loss; and then you have to ' work up ' to discussing if they may someday be interested in a commited relationship who left with no consideration of my needs my trust my fears or what condition was created for me without any warning or regard because of this and we without any provision or concern shown..can make a date with my shoe

[@hobbytreyi]

Very important chitra! I need that video too!!

[@iwatchvideos9187]

This please!!!

[@myoldash]

Chitra Maudgil YES!!!

[@OmgitsNeens]

@@kmac1480 Seriously. Never again. How could it possibly ever be worth it? They can barely even be honest about their feelings for you to themselves.

[@shannond8029]

5 months NC and 5 years dealing with such dismissive behavior has definitely opened my mind to what hell this man has to deal with each day in his own brain, but stagnant is not how I roll so I had to leave after trying just about everything. it still breaks my heart that the needle never moved except when he was wanting a connection then the record stopped then back to skipping over and over I was so confused until I found out about attachment styles. It's amazing how broken some humans our because of their unmet needs and down right abuse as a child. I hope nothing but the best for him and wish he was able to see that he is worthy of that deep love with trust . Myself? I'm still dancing and will continue to just a little smarter for the next ❤ lLove to all that are hurting and confused, heal yourself, it does get better with time and Knowledge.

[@asiminakaramixou9191]

Difficult relationship! I was with a DA for ten years with also strong narc traits. I truly believed that he wanted family with me . well only after he discarded me i discovered a lot!!!

[@RachelZamstein]

If you’re trying these healthy coping skills and your partner isn’t willing... we need to understand that’s their answer. That’s a no.

[@Cher1124]

Mine wasn’t willing. It was very painful- but they are limited.

[@christinarichie6171]

@@Cher1124 Very limited I'd hate to view the world and relationships like that.

[@TeshaWheel]

Oh my word! Thank you for this video! I may never get the opportunity to do what you just described to the fullest in all these steps, but I do feel so affirmed that I really did try and though it hurts so much to keep trying to connect, I know I feel like I gave it everything I could. Thank you for making this video, I wish I could turn back the clock and be able to use this info then, though I don't think it would've made a difference in the outcome, I am glad I did somehow perceive I needed to do some of these steps, and now can move on. I hope you will post a video about healing after you make that deadline so you can truly move forward. Being Anxious Avoidant, this situation was the hardest thing I have ever endured.

[@astrale-l3n]

I feel you! Been trying to reconnect with my ex but never gave him time after the breakup. Now he says he doesn't love me anymore, doesn't even like me, and doesn't think it's fair to get back together. But he does say some things that makes me think he still wants me around, maybe to try something in the future... I kind of felt he won't invest in this right now because of his parents (they got involved in our fight) and because it's been only 6 weeks. I'm thinking about going NC now... today I talked about it and he said he prefers that we keep talking, but I can't expect anything from him.

[@melanieluft4955]

@@astrale-l3n You guys should join a discord support group for this kinda thing, it would be great to hear more of your stories and talk about things!

[@TeshaWheel]

@@astrale-l3n If you really want to try, then maybe you can use what Thais shared in this video, but from my experience, you will need lots of support and still you may not move forward. Often the DA wants the good but can't reciprocate except in small breadcrumb doses, at least in my case that was true. I held on to hope because I couldn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand attachment styles and was thinking if I just worked at it, he would come around to a place where we could just have a heart to heart. By the time that he was ready to have that talk, and we could've had the heart to heart, I was so invested emotionally and hurting so much, reeling from his disconnection and me wanting that connection so bad that my view was too clouded. I wanted to communicate my boundaries, but kept compromising to try to keep connection even if just as friends. The worst part is that we weren't even dating. He was trying to connect with me only to fill his own needs but not reciprocating. I became entangled because I could see the sweetness in him, and kept thinking there was a beautiful good man inside of him. But after years of trying to even stay connected, there's nothing from him. I am left picking up the pieces of my own brokenness, but now I see where I need to do some work. I am hoping to be strong enough to do that work and heal. You can maybe skip all of what I wasted time doing and move into a happier place and find someone who is not a DA and be really happy, finding someone who will do the work a relationship takes alongside of you. And if you keep working on yourself, and taking care of your own heart, it will be yours! ❤ You deserve that happiness! If I believed you could have it with the DA, then I would tell you to stay. Best of luck to you dear girl, and much happiness to your future ahead no matter what you choose! ❤

[@vesennyaa]

Tesha, it’s not the hardest thing, it’s the best thing that happened to you. You will understand it soon!❤️ invest and heal yourself and you will feel amazig. This type of people is very difficult in presonal relationship. But they bring the worst out of you so that you can start heal yourself

[@tinakelly668]

Do you mean Anxious Avoidant ??? I did not see that one as a personality style on Thais quiz??? Thanks

[@Kevdo92]

Female dismissive avoidant next, please Thais. Thank you. ♥️

[@IronX77]

Yes. Someone who won't open up... How can to get them to feel safe so they can explore their conflicted feelings with you. It's not just inviting them... She avoids being vulnerable, even when I'm vulnerable first. A few tools on how to make a person feel safe would be great!

[@Bubagigant]

He is DA,I am Anxious preoccupied.it's a LDR. It will never work. I kept begging for attention,connection,openess,even basic communication at times. The only way he shows any emotion or connection is by sex.once that's done he turns his back on me,cuts communication to minimum and turns very cold. When I want to end it he tries for a bit and then the same repeats. Cold as ice..I can't do it anymore, it's humiliating for me to keep begging for even the tiniest expression of something nice.I have to trick him into at least saying yes I do when I ask if he feels this or sees me as this. I am exhausted.

[@leann3282]

Do you think he's worth fighting for?

[@Bubagigant]

Nope.

[@lesliejohns987]

Thais this Is TRULY BEAUTIFUL! I am back with My Ex ... My Ex is Fearful Avoidant but very close to a tie with Dismissive Avoidant.. so I went by both Videos for The FA and DA.... and It worked because I expressed my needs and validated their needs .... We were going out for 2 and half years and Everything was smooth until he went through severe trauma.. 2 deaths within months and now a sick mother.. He pulled away and I got anxious but I am now secure because of reprogramming 🥰🙏🏻♥️

[@austinnguyen9107]

Can you go into a little more detail about how you validated their needs? With examples. I want to do the same with my DA ex

[@Mm-wb7ct]

Hi, my ex is the same. He is both FA and DA. After what time did you reach out ?

[@kbfamilyp]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@kanereall]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

[@kbfamilyp]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@kanereall]

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@kbfamilyp]

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@anhangamirim453]

You've been doing a wonderful job in showing the world that DA are sensible and good people who deserves to be understand. I'm not in a breakup. I'm in just going through the first phases of a relationship with a DA that I care, love and admire very much. I'm a FA, so u can just imagine how hard is for me not to run to the mountains when my wounds get triggered (is like I live in fear 24h a day). Yesterday I hold up my tears when I learned he has just told his family and friends that I'm his "femme" (in France, that's more than copine/girl friend). Your videos is the sun that makes our love survive in that cold world.

[@nicolabrittain3101]

These relationships start out great though

[@kaym3359]

I had an avoidant come back after 9 months. Directly asked me to reconnect, then ended things two months later saying "the past two months have been messy". Do not go back to them you deserve healthy love.

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@r.bishop1127]

I had this too. Awful.

[@annalisac3462]

Is it possible to get more videos on dismissive avoidants and particularly how they might be feeling in a no contact period during this pandemic?

[@elizabethmorales8099]

Thank you, so many people want to manipulate and you just help to really protect everybody in the relationship with knowledge, I was just blind how to go trough my breakup as I was feeling crazy but now I understand as he didn’t gave explanation. I will give myself time to think if I want to be with a dismissive avoidance .... it is hard but I love him

[@wuihappiness6560]

I can recommend you to someone who can help you out with any problem you have ❣️❣️❣️💌💌

[@wuihappiness6560]

Him can help you ❣️❣️

[@idiahieromosele4977]

Then you have to go for him and don’t let him go away Fight for your love and get him back,he might be your life partner and you may not know

[@idiahieromosele4977]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex wife is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@lesliejohns987]

I do agree!!!!!!!

[@PieterFret]

Female fearful avoidant next please! :)

[@jessicamessica2271]

I've dumped mine twice. I wish I knew about this stuff so I wouldn't have taken his lack of closeness so personally. Who knows if I will ever see him again. He was so confusing and frustrating but I also love him. Maybe if I fix me first lol

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[@LunqCharlotte]

It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@LunqCharlotte]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@QueenJessica-z5j]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@svsn2901]

this is deff a helpful video! I am hopefully & confident in reaching out to him as a FA I know I had let my fears get the best of me instead of acknowledging something grounding, secure & comforting.

[@angelab8137]

How'd it go for you if you don't mind me asking? :)

[@Femininelovevibes]

I left him because at 10 months he comes out and says he isn’t ready to be bf/Gf. I was devastated. I ended things with him. It was about three weeks of him pleaded telling me he was showing me how he feel and how is was invested. However his words impacted me. I miss him terribly , I feel he is acting out now. We barely communicate now. Few days Ago he told me he misses me and sent a picture of us . All I said was that I miss him too. He sent this 🙁🙁🙁🙁. I didn’t say anything back. I’m so heartbroken he was my best friend. One year together. I feel he wanted me and his freedom .. I’m not sure , I don’t know what to even do. I love him.

[@Femininelovevibes]

B the Change yes I am. For the first time in my life, I put myself first. I couldn’t bare being with someone like this. I’m learning and growing everyday. I won’t settle for less.

[@Sebs3bs3b]

So why does he want to be with u if he doesn't want to be ur bf? Did he change his mind? Or tried to play hard to get then u called him outm

[@bellabong8862]

@@Sebs3bs3b If he's anything like my ex DA, they just want to continue receiving (love, support, validation, ego stroking, sex) without having to reciprocate and will hold onto you but keep you at a distance. DA's can seem sweet but are actually extremely selfish and have little compassion for the torture they put you through by their need to distance themselves all the time. They create a toxic emotional environment by breadcrumbing and keeping you hooked. It's hard to leave them when we fall for them, but we need to save ourselves because it's just sick.

[@Sebs3bs3b]

@@bellabong8862 do you all feel they have personalities you look for in a long term partner they can't be loved. Like Forbidden fruit.

[@bellabong8862]

@@Sebs3bs3b No. DA's are quite charming in the beginning and make you feel that they really want you. They suck you in. After you fall and want more closeness, then they begin their deactivation and pulling away which causes confusion and triggers insecurity and anxiety in their partners.

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

Good lord, why would you EVER want a DA back?! I have absolutely no desire to spend one more minute of my life in relationships where I don't get my needs met, and someone else's insecure attachment issues are their problem to resolve, not mine. I'm done being part of peoples' healing process. Come to me with your shit together or not at all.

[@G6KGaijin]

Starts at 4:41

[@GabriellaT21]

Thanks girl 😂

[@idiahieromosele4977]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex wife is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@G6KGaijin]

@@idiahieromosele4977 spiritualist?

[@idiahieromosele4977]

Jessica Sive Yan Hing another name for spell caster See let me advice you This KZbin spell does not work,I tried it several times and it didn’t work until this spell caster helped me to getting my ex back

[@idiahieromosele4977]

Jessica Sive Yan Hing so message him joe and get help

[@astrale-l3n]

After over a year of being broken up with a DA I guess I should come here and say: they will not come back. No matter what you do, how much space you give them or how much you show you understand them. At the end of the day, the no contact and carrying on with your life only comes to show you how much you don’t need them to come back at all.

[@astrale-l3n]

@Katie Malone I don't think mine will, ever.

[@astrale-l3n]

@@FM-zg5hz nope, still no contact. We dated 5 months

[@indiakxoxo]

@@astrale-l3nmine came back then left again

[@taraandrews-nelson7797]

​@katiemalone2636 can you explain how?

[@wigologywithvalerie1450]

Would never want him back if hes DA...20 YEARS AND NO CHANGE.I dont wanna relate..he was also emotionally abusive...so NO I dont want him back.How could I ever give him what he needs,.. if he's dismissive and avoidant.Youll always be STUCK needing his kind of love(love withheld if they find out how to punish you if they're emotionally abusive) that he wont give in the way that you personally need to feel secure in the relationship...my lesson? It's ok to be friends and NOT EMOTIONALLY INVESTED...live your life instead..get back the FOCUS on YOU..FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL WILLINGLY GIVE YOU WHAT YOU CRAVE..Please believe me..it's DEFINITELY worth the wait..!💯

[@silviam.9224]

Thank you. I needed to hear this right now.

[@samt984]

Your knowledge & communication is amazing...you speak so clearly & so much easier to understand...You are amazing...would love to know where you get all this information from??..soon be studying Relationship Counselling & Life Coaching & have added you to my Mentor list..:) Thank you.

[@samp6862]

Please do female dismissive next! does a female dismissive breakup out of guilt? so be secure in a way where you still state your needs while minimizing triggering her guilt?

[@tulip5210]

Dave Wafea yes!

[@samp6862]

@B the Change, I'm FA too and mistrust and not being seen make sense to me as reasons to break up. Would a DA have the same reasons? I'd imagine their reasons are more about needing space to be independent?

[@hobbytreyi]

How to heal and recover from the damage done by a DA ex 🙂🙂🙂 please help

[@jjc2323]

Honestly ladies - I imagine my ex DA as gay. It has helped. Because of the avoidance of sex and just wanting to be my best friend (except for emotional stuff cause they cannot handle that). So imagine him as gay. 👍

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

I know exactly what you mean. My ex bf would withhold sex, affection and even eye contact.

[@chanelgrace3078]

Thats a good way to look at it 🤔 im forced to see my ex due to us having kids and i feel hurt everytime i see him. I think pretending he is gay will help lol

[@blightedgrounds]

Sounds like you're avoiding the reasons why he didn't want to have sex with you.

[@IronX77]

Intro ends at 4:38

[@lisalu2023]

This was so so helpful! Thank you so much for making this video!

[@blklagoon76]

What anxious person can really have patience for 6 weeks?

[@LaynaAlberga]

I’ve had it for 6 months

[@Abby-yj9zh]

@@LaynaAlberga same & that was my limit 😂😂

[@erikafisher2934]

@@LaynaAlberga My DA was asking for 6 months. Idk how you did it. I am anxious/fearful so I had to just decide to turn inward. Which is awesome by the way! But I am having to dismiss repetative thoughts of "Will he ever come back?" I understand that part of this whole things is that we are not good for each other RIGHT NOW. But he sees it as, we are not good for eachother, that it is something at our cores that doesnt work. That's the DA though right? "Something is broken in me. I don't know who I am. Wishy washy". Bah. I so wish I knew this stuff before hand and just taken time for myself before being with him. Oh wells. Serves me right, not watching enough youtube hahah. smh

[@kieragg6829]

@@LaynaAlberga I’ve had it for a year and 5 Months

[@marciabravo7483]

It's been 5 weeks and It's been actually quite easy because I know this is what it needs to be done..It doesn't mean I didn't feel sad though..

[@anastasiakatsimbardis2648]

Wow Thais, you are a huge wealth of super effective, concise, applicable and tangible information on this very difficult topic! Thank you so much. I can’t express how helpful your videos on DAs have been for me.. I’ve never encountered this kind of behaviour (I’m a secure attachment style) and has zero idea what was going on… I googled everything from typical Taurus man traits (of which many are similar/ precursor to avoidant!), to breadcrumbing (which I’d never heard of either!) and then came across you and oh my word. NOW I get his behaviour to a tee.. Interested, hot cold, v interested, a couple of dates, then nothing but texts, alluding to seeing each other but zero plans being laid and each time I offered a coffee/ walk by the river zero response. So I’d leave him be, only to have him text again 3 days later.. I’ve just yesterday left him a heartfelt voice message pretty much outlining what you’ve covered here, (even though I hadn’t seen your video) that these are my needs and offering him the space to meet me in the middle and express his needs so I can understand him and his position and honour them properly.. and let him know there was no pressure from me if he didn’t want to have that conversation, that I’d understand if it wasn’t right for him and to just leave it be.

[@zandersorc]

This was almost exactly how I discovered her videos. How did things turn out for you?

[@taylorkotsur]

wow, the fact that you posted this the day my DA broke up with me... maybe the universe is on my side

[@idiahieromosele4977]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex wife is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@turtle4llama]

Watching this is affirming. I did everything right. He just didn't want to change.

[@michellet_thatsme]

Hold on, how in the world are we EXPECTED to just magically know what they are thinking or feeling or their perspective at all, when they refuse to explain or tell you anything!

[@ShaunHolden]

Thaus - This is great so good to virtually meet like minded people! The best development we can do is self development. I have been spending the whole time of the pandemic working on myself. Its really a pleasure to have found your channel. Great channel! Subbed :)

[@alicemungia1642]

Typically, my DM shuts down on me when I am anxious and "drill" him or I'm sarcastic about a mistake he made regarding our relationship. He ghosted me for one month the last time I became anxious with him. I know what are issues are which I learned through your videos. I know what to do but it will take some time to learn how to stop my anxiety.

[@schuylerwednesday4679]

I'm sorry you went through that.it is very hurtful to go through through that.i got my ex back a month ago and it has been extremely very difficult for me.he was extremely clingy,needy and dependent on me before throughout the relationship.when he broke up with me I didn't go full on no contact.he was hot and cold and even cruel to me.the worst thing I immediately developed health problems right after he broke up with me.we were broken up for 8 months and I got diagnosed with a heart problem and a liver problem less than 6 months into the breakup.i was healing from the breakup then the health issues arose.it is too much for me.one thing after another.and even those he seemed supportive and receptive and sympathetic but it didn't stop him from being cruel to me cuz he thinks I'm not the only one who was hurt in the breakup that his pain is bigger. A month ago he apologized to me and said he wants to fix things and he asked me to be with him.but damn I regret he completely changed...he became so avoidant.he has this new policies and perception that he implements and refuses to compromise. He didn't like the way he was before in our relationship but he didn't tell me so I don't have any idea that he felt like that.thats his fault for keeping things to himself. I am having such a hard time adjusting to his new self.im trying so hard to understand this...this is like a culture shock for me...like a completely different person...he doesn't see the need to share stuff with me.it is like everything we did and used to do... nothing anymore So I understand how you feel.my complaints go unheard.i am anxious preoccupied I think.but when we were together at first I was a bit of an avoidant but I gradually shed it at that time.we agreed to try to make it work but I can't do this by myself and we are on long distance.it has always been like that.it was never an issue before but now I can feel how hard it is.

[@harrisonstephanie7783]

I know of someone who can help you

[@harrisonstephanie7783]

WhatsApp him

[@harrisonstephanie7783]

[phone]

[@wuihappiness6560]

[phone] 💕 💕

[@Princess_0f_Trees]

Whenever I see things about avoidant partners and the lack of time they tend to give, videos are always like “if once a week ins’t enough” or “twice a week”… and I’m just like…. If I had gotten to see my partner twice a week I would have been over the moon. He wanted to meet once a month. And sometimes he canceled that even. I WISH i could have gotten him to want to see me once a week.

[@HeavenlyEchoVirus]

I’m an extremely secure and patient person. My ex was in a long distance relationship with me. Every issue that he brought up I listened to, and since it was all reasonable, I accommodated it. According to my ex, I did nothing wrong, and I was the best partner he ever had. And he still broke up with me out of nowhere via text because he realised he had love for me but wasn’t in love with me. I feel like the whole problem here is unless a person identifies as an avoidant, they don’t recognise any of what’s happening and just decide you’re not the one even when everything is going perfectly. They will find a way out.

[@resueah7257]

I totally relate haha

[@Micro_Learning]

The DA I was seeing...it tended to be once every 2-3 weeks. So twice-a-month(ish). I wasn't happy with that, but in the first three months, I thought of it as him taking it slow, not being an absolute weirdo avoidant lol. But as time wore on and he stayed at that clip (with some exceptions where we saw each other 7 days after the previous time), I realized he is just going to be like this...only wanting to set an in-person date every 2 to 3 weeks even though we live only 8 miles from each other.

[@nicoleflusk5434]

I broke up with my bf about 6 weeks ago. I am just really learning about the attachment styles and realize my ex is a DA. It explains everything! I tried to talk to him the day after the break up because I realized I handled everything wrong and he blocked me. We have been NC for 6 weeks. I sent him a note in the mail about a week ago but didn’t hear anything and now I know why. I have to do what I had done previously and validate his feelings and concerns. This video is a bit crammed fast and furious with information but all extremely helpful!!

[@jenniewoo9517]

How do you validate his feelings and concerns

[@nicoleflusk5434]

@@jenniewoo9517 we are back together now but it has been a lot of work and patience on my part because after the break up he understandably isn’t as open or trusting of me not to hurt him again. It’s difficult to get him to feel like his feelings and concerns are validated. I can tell him I understand or I agree and he still doesn’t seem to accept that. Like he feels misunderstood and alone in the way he thinks. This is frustrating and difficult because we have a long history of friendship and talking was always something we were good at but I realize it’s all at a different level now and he isn’t as comfortable. I just have to be direct with him. If I ask him something specific he will answer me. Then I tell him how happy I am that he shared it with me ect. A lot of positive reinforcements kind of like with our children! Lots of praise and positivity when he opens up or does something for me that meets my needs.

[@RolimPaula]

@@nicoleflusk5434 Can you give us an update? I can see myselh going in the same direction.

[@nicoleflusk5434]

@@jenniewoo9517 he says he worries about losing his personal space. I understand that now especially knowing my tendency to be overwhelming as I fear abandonment. He is afraid that being with me he will prioritize me and us over the care of his elderly father. He feels that happened once before while we were together. It’s just about viewing his concerns from his point of view and not taking every single thing so personally.

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@kayaxe]

Female Dismissive avoidant ex next please :) thank you!

[@gemma9507]

No this kind of talk/conversation is impossible with Avoidants!!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE MOMENT YOU BRING UP FEELINGS , SHOW EMOTION, TRY TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP.

[@amyjohnson5044]

I really just need an advice on how to reach out to a dismissive ex! I’m still in no contact giving him time and space but I’m in love and know what my heart wants. I’ve been working on me and continue to do so, but I do love him and would love nothing more than to make it work!!! I just need to know how to reach out effectively!!!!!!!!!

[@adoptioncorner1984]

This is me right now , so hard

[@MadameSenator]

Same here!

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@amyjohnson5044]

We’ve been back together since January 2021.

[@FM-zg5hz]

@@amyjohnson5044 Did he reach out? Or did you have to reach out?

[@mariaarroyo-segovia4448]

This talk is so useful Thais, thank you!

[@user-jk5kn4dq1e]

I messaged all calm and said I respected his decision but if he wants to go to lunch and talk I’ll sit down and quietly listen to his needs and he agreed to meet with me . I didn’t realise he was a avoidant and I was an anxious attachment and I read the book think like a monk. Thank you

[@JoannCarolus]

Did he show up to lunch??

[@pf6980]

@@JoannCarolus lol this made laugh… cuz I’m curious too

[@FM-zg5hz]

Did he show up?

[@FM-zg5hz]

@@JoannCarolus I’m gonna take that as a no. She never replied lol

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

It absolutely cannot be a manipulation. It has to be sincere. Why would anyone wish to be insincere towards this attatchment style.

[@naturalblackcocoa]

You are amazing!! Thanks for these tools. You are by far the top relationship expert

[@CristianaCatólica]

Wonderful video. Thank you. Blessings.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're more than welcome! - PDS team

[@Orisiya]

Can you do one about DA's wanting you back after withdrawal + cheating on you? :/

[@turtle4llama]

Change your number, babe.

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

It’s very anxiety provoking thinking you are amicable with someone and then they gaslight you though you send out light hearted messages, hey don’t respond, it’s confusing and makes the anxiety spiral

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

@@FM-zg5hzstarted seeing each other again but then…. We said ILY and saw each other for 18 months and then when I went through a mental health crisis end of last year- 2023- he noped out. He couldn’t even have a closure conversation with me. I still love him but the lack of closure has been devastating and has contributed to major depression. I honestly don’t know what to do. Because I have adhd I am in like paralysis and it’s not even so much that it’s over it’s more that he couldn’t bring himself to talk to me. Most painful thing ever

[@charmee4045]

To me this smacks of blaming ourselves and fixing. If the other person doesn't want to communicate or doesn't have the tools. Lots of times its based on previous relationships that they have not resolved. So then you start again, if they always think its your fault, where is the growth. I am not going to wear the hair shirt. What if they don't care what your needs are?

[@michaelsteel688]

I agree with Star below. My ex admits she doesn't communicate. I've tried thousands of things and nothing works and she has not tried one thing.

[@pareehassan9877]

Thank you Thais , great positive approach

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks for the comment

[@Sentimentalist0923]

What approach do you recommend when the ex DA is secretive with his phone (he describes as simply being a private person), won't make eye contact unless angry, & refuses to share emotionally? Four years of this & I feel hopeless.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

highly recommend taking the DA course within the online school. A lot of insight into DA's and how a partner can best navigate a relationship with them - PDS team

[@Sentimentalist0923]

@ B the Change thank you for your detailed reply. I agree with all that you said. I've tried to be more accepting of who he is because he's very loving & affectionate, supportive with family things, & being physically giving with helping me with things that I can't do alone, such as home projects. I've tried to simply go with it because he says I'm too rigid in my way of thinking; I'm seeing that he has lead me to self-doubt. I walked away a few weeks ago.

[@alicemungia1642]

You'll never know what's in that phone, not that you should, because my DA would get upset if I just mentioned his phone was ringing. It always on silent mode too and he never answers it in front of me My guy is so private many of his contact names in his cellphone are initials. I know his behavior sounds suspicious but DMs are extremely private. He actually warned me about coming to his home without permission. That made me suspicious so from time to time I would drive by and I've never seen any suspicious activity.

[@alicemungia1642]

@@Alphacentauri819 I know. There is more. His boundaries are very limiting and suspicious. He has done this most of his life. He has been through many women. I suspect he can't keep anyone for too long because of his 'rules". To top it off he can't understand why he is not trusted. This channel has really helped me understanding my anxious attachment style and his dismissive behavior. Instead criticizing him I'm learning to express my feelings and needs in a way that doesn't cause him to shut down. It's a lot of work but benefits me with my own growth as a human being.

[@Sentimentalist0923]

B the Change - thank you for all the insight and for sharing your experiences and areas of healing. Sounds like youve come a long way❤️ I'm working toward healing and am thankful for people like you who share such wisdom.

[@nadiacristelo936]

Love this video!! Like all the videos on Dismissive avoidants.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you like them Nadia! - PDS team

[@pure-pisces4512]

Yes but what about casual for an AP?? SO triggering for us....thought we were going somewhere after a few months, even though he did say in a round about way that he couldn't commit, but kept on with me...total mixed msgs, maybe I chased him away with my AP attatchment style, but why continue like it's more, growing, knowing that u have no intentions....was I wrong in trying to make him feel safe, understand his wounds/space etc whilst I declined my own needs....to be told after another beautiful evening together that he's happy to be "mates" but can't/won't do a relationship (by text) it's very hard for an AP to not blame themselves & feel not good enough!! Even more!! No blame DAs have wounds just like the rest of us, but why not work on them, try to love & trust when someone is there, willing open & showing up for them?? So sad!!! 😭

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

It’s absolutely soul destroying, even a thumbs up will suffice

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

That aged well. Two years later and I’m in a worse spot than I was then

[@CiMcM135]

Girl, what happened 😢​@@susannahpearethcan5ing

[@c46236]

that looks good on paper, however most FAs will never like to be vulnerable so either they will avoid the conversation or serve you lies on what they fell & want. remember they are manipulating even the therapist if in therapy! I see this however as good advice to do with people who are willing to cooperate and this are rather anxious that FAs.

[@New-jb1tc]

Try meeting up with a DA in person. HA!

[@12345678abracadabra]

It just happened to me, crazy.

[@New-jb1tc]

@@12345678abracadabra WOW! Glad to hear it!

[@SK-no2pp]

Lol

[@lrydning6367]

Thanks for all your videos Thais. I don't have an ex I want back, but it's still interesting to listen to you, even when youtube just autoplays stuff. I'm just wondering what microphone you're using? It sounds really good and it would be really helpful to me to know if I decide to make videos as well :)

[@krisannekey3218]

What if he refuses to do the basics like text or call but says he loves me? I've expressed my needs and I fill his when he allows communication.

[@taniawilliams14]

His words don’t match his actions... to save yourself the pain ... walk away now

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

Hello dear, I know of a great man, who can hell you get back your ex. He helped me get back my ex few weeks ago.

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

Why not give a try if he will help you

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

GOOD LUCK MY DEAR

[@jerushajaffery5070]

What about being married?

[@howtosober]

Good lord, why would you ever want a DA back? The real question is "How do I spot a DA as soon as I meet them so I can run?"

[@kenettefiel3638]

This is a good video, im eagerly waiting for the girl version of this 😊 thanksThais 😁

[@luisheldon7037]

What about an ex who is shifty (he was a bit like this too in relationship it is as if he had emotional or connexion amnesia at times): He tells me that he misses me and wants to hug me and kiss me and asks me if he could visit me and then says he wants distance, no romance anymore. When I asked him if he still wants to visit, he said that okay but I won't be romantic. I said, oh that's not what you... He cuts me to say "I never said I would". Now he is cold and acts polite whereas before christmas, he was all lovey with me. So : would be all lovey and then acts as if the loving time never occured. If something stresses him out, his defensive walls are high and he can go dismissive. What is this attachment style and how to bring him back/closer ? Thank you

[@dsoconn1]

I wish I knew of this style prior to him breaking up with me. By no means do I want to get back with someone who's not right for me but this would have helped me not feel so awful and leaving me questioning what happended. And prior to the breakup, I'd have the tools to help me/us.

[@kimspirit6510]

Does this also pertain to friendships and father daughter relationship?

[@alenastewart9883]

Thank you for this video 🌸 can I please check, we were in a relationship for 10yrs until March 2021, and currently living apart but he is hot then cold, visiting and finally talking! But needs to be asked specifics. Which course could be most suitable to access while we are talking at present? Does the course provide questions to ask/discuss together to try and get through why we honestly wound up here. My male DA additionally has ASD, so it’s extremely difficult to discuss emotional challenges.

[@toscadonna]

Why would anyone want one of these avoidant monsters? Everyone should dump these evil folks as soon as their wicked ways show themselves. Then maybe they’d stop being assholes. We’ve all been abused a children. Get over it! You are now supposedly an adult, and it’s time for you to either grow up and act as a human being or be alone like you truly deserve. Bring the pain to these folks just like they do to us. If they get shunned enough, maybe they will stop acting like spoilt, ungrateful children.

[@junelee5975]

tosca donna you are right. The nicer i was to this DA he became rude and disrespectful. You need to treat them like they are nothing, and never show them you care. Then you will get respect. They are nicer to you when you detach and dont care about you probably only to hook u again n manipulate you

[@allaboardthegravytrain5987]

Exactly girl

[@christinarichie6171]

A 100%.... they prey on compassionate people especially women.

[@e-cat5169]

You do realise that they don't really have a choice in the attachment style they ended up with, right? No one should be an asshole but I'm an anxious and that's like someone saying "maybe she should just stop being so paranoid"......No. doesn't work like that. We don't have to chase but we certainly don't have to tell them they should just "get over it". I've certainly never been abused as a child and I can tell you that if I had been, I can't even imagine how I would be right now.

[@estherh.1106]

What if nothing really happened and my DA/SA told me it literally has NOTHING to do with me but that he is not ready for a relationship? He made this decision out of panic (he made this decision in less than a week from what he's told me)...

[@lucasrojo986]

She helped me bring back my love ex back who left me for 7 months

[@estherh.1106]

Lucas Rojo can you tell me more? Like what helped you/what did you do? Love to hear more!

[@lucasrojo986]

@@estherh.1106 okay she asked me about my name and my ex name and our picture

[@lucasrojo986]

@@estherh.1106 them I offer her some money for the items needed

[@lucasrojo986]

@@estherh.1106 and before the next 48hours my love ex return back to me

[@SpicyLunarDust]

Could we maybe get one for a female, or does it matter?

[@bystandersarah]

So much work😭😭😭

[@silviam.9224]

Too much to receive hurt in exchange

[@user-es5gx2di7h]

These videos are good but the structure is a bit all over the place. Perhaps a short summary at the start and end would help.

[@How.Dare.You.]

Starts at 5.20

[@nicolabrittain3101]

My specific thing was I need consistency. He absolutely cannot do this, but also is not willing to try. Bye bye

[@andrewebeagbor136]

Hello how are you doing,text Dr willockfor relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔

[@andrewebeagbor136]

±2348134090209⏯⏯♣️♣️

[@andrewebeagbor136]

[phone]⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,

[@teresalopez5683]

What if your DA male is in a rebound relationship now? It's been 1 year since we've been separated. Married for 6yrs. Dating 10 yrs.

[@psmoove6488]

Can u make one for the guys???

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

Hello dear, are you facing any challenges in your relationship?

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

I know of a man who can help you solve your problems

[@angelitarodriguez5769]

He helped me get back my ex few weeks ago. Why don't you give a try, to see if He would help you.

[@psmoove6488]

@@angelitarodriguez5769 I just had a girlfriend ghost me. She just stopped talking to me and blocked me on social media.

[@euniceyeow]

What if... they don't even really want to sit down and have this conversation? Do I give him more time?

[@primerdimers]

Great stuff Thais! did you say more details are in your PDS already or not yet? in the 6 stages of relationship? I'm AA, maybe I should be looking at the FA course (my ex)! Can't wait for the FA version of this video to be out. I'm always initiating texts and because he's FA idk how much I should be around before his avoidant side is triggered

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Yes there's an advanced AA course in the school that go through the 6 stages of a relationship. HIGHLY recommend taking the FA course to understand any FA's in your life - PDS team

[@_Kiii]

My concern would be … this process for someone to win back an APS, all seems quite presumptuous. Why go through everything when they don’t even know if I’m interested anymore in a relationship with them?

[@chriskerley9576]

What about female dismissive avoidant?

[@naturallyniece320]

Will this work if you’re anxious preoccupied and chased them until they blocked you?

[@christianone6611]

😂😂😂Your question is hilarious. Anyone who has been anxious knows EXACTLY what you're saying but it sounds ridiculous. Lol. I love it.

[@naturallyniece320]

@@christianone6611 I ain’t blocked anymore tho 😂

[@jenniewoo9517]

@@naturallyniece320 why did he unblock you? Did you give him space

[@cynthiam184]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@melssf7451]

Girl I feel you man! 😁 glad you unblocked. We on the same journey, hope its going well

[@jango-z]

I would have done this, but he is already in a relationship. he lined up someone before he broke up. So guess it won’t work. 3 weeks no contact now. N I don’t think he will be back

[@jennyduhle5857]

Hello I know of someone who can help you he helped me get my ex back recently

[@jennyduhle5857]

Whtspp himm

[@jennyduhle5857]

+ 1 ( 8 1 6 ) 3 4 3 8 3 0 7

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@bouclechocolat]

Disclaimer that I'm a DA and can't imagine myself chasing anyone but... is it really healthy to be going through strategies to "win" back someone who is done with you, regardless of their attachment style? Someone not respecting my decision to leave a relationship would just make me run faster

[@austinnguyen9107]

That's the thing tho, almost every time their fears pushed them over the edge to breakup even if they still have a lot of feelings for their partner. I could literally see the internal struggle from my DA ex during the breakup. After a couple months (of no contact), when those fears dissipate, only the feelings are left and they come back. Quite common

[@bouclechocolat]

@@austinnguyen9107 sure, I agree that that's common enough, but there's a difference between a mutually-expressed interest in getting back together after they changed their mind, and you going after them before they've done the processing you just described

[@austinnguyen9107]

@@bouclechocolat Good clarification. I agree, the DA needs to want to reconnect first and the partner wanting to get back together before the DA is ready will just push them even farther away. As the secure-anxious partner myself, I wish I could tell my DA ex about attachment styles to speed things up (because I'll probably fully move on by the time the figure it out) but I'm in NC rn. If they come back, and want to do the work I'm open to trying again. Your thoughts? Would even telling them about attachment styles before they come back push them away more? My ex broke up bc of fears, but feelings were still there. You could see the internal struggle

[@bouclechocolat]

@@austinnguyen9107 caveat that i'm apparently abnormal among DA's and have been very curious about the "i feel so different from everyone else" thing for some time now, but I think opening up the dialogue about attachment styles to a receptive DA would be good. I'd recommend maybe not opening too aggressively, I think simply asking if they know about attachment styles and encouraging them to do a short self-assessment or read about them on their own would feel less like an attack than being told "I think you have a DA attachment style."

[@HeavenlyEchoVirus]

Yeah I think no one is saying relentlessly pursue anyone. But if you feel like your ex is going to regret this choice, that they fled the relationship when nothing was wrong and they will probably wish one day they hadn’t, obviously you can’t just go back to the way things were because it will happen again. So I think the idea is, if the DA ex wants to reconcile, and you do too, this is what has to be understood if a reconciliation is to be successful.

[@kathyhernandez7443]

What do you do if your ex does not want to go no contact?!

[@jessica8215]

What are your suggestions on still living together but separated

[@johnabreu1782]

It’s really sad read all this comment make me realize I won’t come back where I was rejected more than 10 times 5 months of happiness unbelievable feelings 9 months os heartbroken ; insecurities ‘ questioning myself why I couldn’t understand but as I am the oldest I do understand fear ; disappearing ‘ nervous 😬 when you can’t be yourself and have no options and the only one is going to your mind is run and leave without explanation I was doing my 100 for this to work but I fail I would never going to humiliate myself for none I deserve some respect I won’t insist when soneone tells me no I have to understand and back up focus on myself 🙂😇❤️💙

[@amberlindsey5662]

Perfect timing

[@SpicyLunarDust]

Why is there only a video on the male DA?

[@faezahjumahat4196]

Hi Good Night's From Singapore! What If An Ex Who Is DA Wants To ReConsider Or ConVersation For Reaching-Out To A Woman He Left-Behind,Ghosted, Silent Or Distant? Can Emotional Attachments Triggers A Deep-Connection Or Sentimental To Have A Healthy Boundaries With Another Human Beign If It Requires Efforts Or Support Systems Towards A Great Relationship Stability In The Near Future Versus Their Interest?

[@FM-zg5hz]

Update?

[@clairesanders1742]

What if my Ex was just Slow, he said he was slow. Or, is he a DA? Can he be both? Or is there a difference?

[@sadfasdf74]

Is there a female version of this?

[@sml5386]

I am not sure how much time I should give him... we broke up about 4 months ago but have been hanging out, basically acting like in a relationship. So should I wait 6 weeks from now? Or has too much time passed already that he is already getting over me? He basically hasn't experienced the break-up yet since I have been available... He has told me he is not ready and that we both need to focus on ourselves independently, but that maybe things will work out and align in the future.

[@DriShti-d2l]

Omg I'm in the same situation. How is it for you now?

[@Sebs3bs3b]

is there any video that explain to the DA how their feelings was a result from them sabotaging behavior to relationship? And explain the steps THEY should take to get back, instead of suppressing their feelings, and try to works things out willingly for the relationship with their ex dumpee? It could save so many relationships if they were the one doing that.. I like to think backward

[@janewui46]

I can recommend you to someone who can help you

[@janewui46]

Contact him on WhatsApp

[@janewui46]

[phone] 💕💕💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💖👄

[@Sebs3bs3b]

Help with what?

[@amberlindsey5662]

That's a spammer

[@MeAnINFP]

What if they immediately get into another relationship though? And if you wait 6 weeks they’ll already be in love with their new person.

[@nachogoatcheese1761]

Tbh, the odds a DA will be in love in 6 weeks are very very low. Its just easier to do a serial dating thing with more and more people, especially with the internet, than work on their shit.

[@MeAnINFP]

@@nachogoatcheese1761 Thanks for your insight. The DA I’m thinking of seems to idealize his crushes and doesn’t see any flaws at first. He also seems to move fast once he locks onto someone. Infatuation is his drug. However, he did say that he plans on getting to know the girl/and her him while dating before falling in love. You’re right though, on jumping into a relationship rather than working on their issues.

[@nachogoatcheese1761]

@@MeAnINFP idealizing might indicate more of a narc or borderline thing (they aren't the same, borderlines have so much overlap with the symptoms of having had a relationship with a narc, though) than the result of an attachment style. I think my fear of attachment at all comes from narcs mostly but then later borderlines. Narcs do not see a boundary between the self and other. They need partners that function as a magic mirror and only reflect traits they believe they deserve to have but do not believe themselves capable of. If that mirror eventually has a speck on it, its like in the Greek story where the nymph Echo frustratedly flicked at the water. The ripples distorted his perfect reflection and he ~lost it~. Wished for annihilation. Borderline would be like Echo: she could only repeat what he said so was annihilated too. I think there are ways an attachment style can mimic this kind of dynamic if people aren't careful but they arent the same thing.

[@whoknowssuchthingsidonthav5515]

LET LOVE BE WITHOUT DISSIMULATION ROMANS 12:9 MEANING WITHOUT HYPOCRISY DOUBLE-STANDARDS IF ITS NOT SINCERE & GENUINE IS IT REALLY LOVE? IS NOT A HALF-TRUTH A WHOLE LIE? COME ON, MAN