Therapist Explains How to Stop Ruminating | Distress Tolerance Skills with DBT

[@mamablue007]

I'm currently a stay at home mom. I have a 3 year old, an almost 2 year old and an 8 month old. We are potty training both of our older children. They wear underwear during the day to feel wet and encourage them to go. It's hectic the first half of the day sometimes when dishes aren't done, laundry needs to be done, vacuuming needs done, meals need made for kids and I haven't eaten yet either. I try my best to work on all of it a little at a time but I just get overwhelmed. I don't want to yell at my kids but today has been rough because it has just been mess after mess after mess on top of what didn't get done last night.

[@tingtingtanlovemore4789]

Don't beat yourself up!! Wow I have a 3 and 2 year old as well and they both had the stomach and it had them vomiting from both ends lol. Moms we really have to support each other because it is so easy to get overwhelmed with all the tasks and people depending on us. Sending love and prayers hopefully this message reaches you and know your not alone and your not a bad mom. I find myself questioning myself all the time realizing that as a mom i exert super human qualities but infact I am not super human, sometimes you just need a break and it's ok to take one. The dishes can wait ❤️

[@mamablue007]

@@tingtingtanlovemore4789 thank you for responding ❤️ the video was right on time and your comment was right on time. I'm actually getting ready to start working from home as well on June 1st so I'm going to have to get better at tidying up at night to make it easier. When I do it usually does help a ton during the day. I just get lazy some nights but then I regret it next day. But you're right. I need to take breaks sometimes.

[@mamablue007]

Thank you Steph Anya for the video! Will rewatch tomorrow so I can start implementing these during the day when I need them!

[@Gemstonetarot]

Oh my God, you’re in the eye of the storm here with three children under five. If you even get everybody vertical and dressed you are absolutely on your game. Raising children is so underrated - it’s wonderful and tiring and crazy exhausting 🙏♥️

[@aproverbs31_woman]

Guuurrrlll!! I am sooo proud of you for looking for help for yourself. I have 3 older children who haven’t been in my custody for the last 10 years, but I am very close to (17, 14, and 13), so I know the feeling. And I also have a 5 month old with my new husband. Lord knows how hard it is to raise children especially multiples. We MUST find time for ourselves to relax and recharge. I’m going to pray for you that God gifts you with strength like never before in your mind, body and soul. And rest. And maybe even outside help to help you get organized so that it’s easier to get things done. Just know that you never have to be caught up in everything all the time. You are not alone. And this video was helpful. See I’m contributing already. 😁❤️❤️❤️👋🏽

[@ronnettecomfort-butler1419]

I loved this video. I am a pastor and I hear many members talk about this and what they can do. This really helps me to add something scientific to the spiritual. However… would you consider sharing your skin regiment? Your skin is flawless!!!! 🥰

[@theprousteffect9717]

Yes, please discuss the myths of therapy as well! Thank you for your channel and all the invaluable work you do.

[@StephAnya]

I will! Thanks for letting me know.

[@nadierela]

I’d love to see a video about dealing with the stress of your twenties (overthinking about your future, social and romantic relationships and how to go about building professional ones, dealing with childhood trauma and negative self talk as well as negative thoughts in general.)

[@jennyrodriguez1804]

This kind of reminds me of this book I’m reading by a therapist named Amy Morin called 13 things mentally strong people don’t do. One of the things are to not focus on things you can’t control. She gives a list of things you can divert your energy to instead ..I highly recommend it !

[@ikeamissiles]

I find it so hard to distract myself when I get like this. I feel stuck on a loop of obsessive thoughts and can’t get it out, it’s very hard to distract myself because the thoughts just crawl back in. I’m in such a big need for therapy, I know I need a psychologist and a psychiatrist, I know I need professional help and I just can’t afford it right now. When I’m doing better I feel so positive about things and I feel like I can do it, but when I slip into these negative moments I struggle to have any motivation for anything. I just want to be okay, I want to a better friend and partner & not feel stuck in this endless loop of sadness

[@raynikasmith8591]

I love staying at home as well working at home is wonderful going to school from home is even more important..........

[@payingless4more]

I LOVE how you broke ACCEPTS down! Now this is why this world need Therapist such as yourself. Monthly I contribute items to charity and I’ve even gone so far as to paying for the customer behind groceries IF it didn’t look like it was over $20-$30 bucks😂😂. We have all been guilty of Comparison, but I’ve never heard of comparison in a positive way! Now that was dope! You won me over with the Pushing Away = Speaking to the problem! I am a FIRM believer of speaking to my problems, mountains, situations, etc! Everything that you said WORKS! Sometimes we all need Therapist like you to remind us and illustrate ways to distract our minds! This was another AMAZING video. I’m glad that I had extra time this week to catch up on some of your videos, because they have had a huge impact in my life. I’m actually implementing a lot of your advice into my life. Thank you so much Step Anya♥️

[@StephAnya]

I absolutely love reading your comments!

[@Jay-pj5tg]

Ugh done blaming this ruminating on the people im ruminating on and try to get some peace. Thank you Anya ♥️

[@kristendavis3846]

I think this is why after a stressful day I'm hesitant to get out of bed the next morning. It's not a depressive thing, I just find the sensation for the soft sheets comforting and it keeps me in a happy place.

[@ladykadiijha]

As you continue with your training please make more videos on this. DBT is so amazing. Learning about DBT has helped me a lot. I have not been formally diagnosed but I have a lot of traits that are aligned with depression and BPD I have a work book and I watch KZbin videos from different therapists. Counselling is so expensive where I live.

[@shionalittle3250]

Thanks! I never realised I've been practicing DBT techniques without being told that's what I was doing. I find CBT so hard so practice when emotions are high.

[@alexandratorres2770]

Thank you so much Steph! ACCEPTS reminded me a bit of 5,4,3,2,1 grounding technique. This is a great addition to our mental health toolbox :) keep up the great work and shares. It’s so refreshing to see videos like yours (I’m a LCSW practicing in Hawai’i). Much love and respect to you always!

[@Kelsey_McLaurine]

I was thinking the same thing! What’s the process like to get licensed in Hawaii??

[@Denise_Perry]

This was extremely helpful!! Please make more videos on this method.

[@valenciawalker6498]

thanks so much. In grad school for psychology. these skills are so very beneficial.

[@this_mundane_life]

Loved the video the only problem is that i keep on distracting myself from the problem way too much. It ends up in me binge watching a show and then i feel worse

[@GetWellSoonR.E.M.]

Thank you so much for this insight! I’ve been searching high and low for a therapist who teaches DBT techniques because I have an insanely hard time tolerating even the slightest bit of distress. This may be just the basics, but this is a wonderful foundation to start on!

[@kristinbrown290]

I would love a child version of this video, or how to help a child deal with stress using this method.I have an 8yo who has a hard time dealing with stressful situations

[@This_Is_Just_To_Say]

I'd like a video on additional ways to deal with distress! This was a helpful one for me.

[@IDK-ts8nz]

Hey, New Subscriber!! I found you today from my teacher Ms. Crawford who claims that you are her niece. She showed us your Encanto video but we couldn't finish it. I watched that and a few others. You do great things. I hope you stay blessed and enjoy your day!

[@StephAnya]

If her name is Kay Crawford, she’s telling the truth! 😂😂 Thank you for watching ♥️

[@IDK-ts8nz]

@@StephAnya Yep that's the one! 🤣 She is an amazing teacher! I am thankful for being her student.

[@actormiabible]

Please do more of these. I would like a second helping of DBT. Thank you.

[@SeattleNaturals]

THANK YOU! For this video and the others. They have been helpful to me on a personal level as well as for my daughter who is studying to become a therapist. I love sharing this information with my community. Could you do a video regarding manipulation, how to identify it in yoyrself and others,and effective ways to address it and set boundaries to deal with people who lean heavily on manipulation tactics. If you have already addressed this, please direct me to the appropriate video link. thank you so much for your work, I appreciate you.

[@sarahcatherinemerry]

I’m re-studying DBT on Udemy right now. I’m glad you had a training recently and were able to do a video on it. Helps me integrate!

[@ainezcanuelas1995]

I am so thankful to find this video. It was perfect!!

[@jamilexxfleming3815]

This was so helpful. God bless you ! I will definitely be utilizing these tools . I also would absolutely love if you made another video about this

[@RivyO]

I would love for you to do more videos of each skill in DBT. I just finished a DBT group course and it has changed my life completely.

[@roxannmerizan]

Thanks for sharing! I'm going through a tough situation and this helped a lot on my self care journey! ❤️

[@StephAnya]

I'm so glad!

[@jjharrison512]

Please still do myths on therapy ! Thank you for all the helpful information and insight ❤

[@doctorofletters8412]

Steph just want to say I love your content! I’m a psychiatrist in training , and it’s a huge pleasure to learn from / alongside you here on KZbin. ❤️

[@doctorofletters8412]

I do a lot of on call work with people who are struggling with emotionally dysregulation and in a mental health crisis , and I’m looking to get my distress tolerance skills course up hence such a joy going from your love is blind videos to this !

[@terrencegriffin3981]

Thank you for video. I'm doing my internship and I am practicing this you are awesome 👍🏾👍🏾

[@madysonroe2988]

Yes to more ways. Self soothing!

[@twinklestarvalerie]

thank you for sharing this gift.

[@MyTVtube2009]

Your videos are awesome. I am currently experiencing life changes and listen to your vlogs during my commute to work.

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@MademoiselleCl3]

YESSS please do more vid, those content are so important thank you for your work💜💜💜

[@MicLilly]

Thanks for the video!!!

[@MsNieshaBean]

Thank you, thank you, thank you soooooo much for this information and video! I have this problem and it's so easy for others to tell me to just 'stop' but how easy is that? This video is much appreciated!

[@xLiLlyx98]

This came at a very good time, thank you! Also would love the video about therapy myths as someone considering looking for a therapist... some of my friends go to therapy so I think my idea of it is a bit more accurate than average but I'd still love to hear it from a professional!

[@stephenyates4749]

Awesome advice enjoyed this video!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!! ♥️

[@MyBrocks]

Thanks for all the great info that you share 😊. It’s been very helpful

[@StephAnya]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Mrsglamsidoflife]

Thank you for this so excited to watch

[@NDObeats]

Thanks for sharing what you learned with us!

[@StephAnya]

Thanks for watching! 🤗

[@SensualRGoddess]

This is very helpful. I was wondering why I eat ice randomly.

[@jainacan]

Thank you for your content. Is it possible to do a tips video on how to mother and/or reparent yourself?

[@ssgundes1]

I love the information you explain everything very well. But the background music is hard for my adhd brain 😅

[@kristenbrown4088]

I appreciate your content. It’s very clear and relatable. I want to implement this- I allow happenings at my job to drag me deeper and deeper into anger and fear.

[@jillyjill5755]

Thanks for sharing 🙌🏾

[@river2265]

This video is so helpful, thank you for all of the amazing content. Please keep these videos coming!

[@madelineolivia1152]

Thank you so much for every video you post🙏🏽💗 I always look back and think how can I apply this to my life and it’s really helped me especially when I need clarity, so thank you☺️💗💗

[@StephAnya]

Hi Madeline! I’m so glad that you’re finding the videos helpful ♥️

[@YouthOutreach4God]

This was soooo helpful!!!

[@carlynbeth]

I would love more videos about DBT!! I’ve been studying it for a while but I just really connect with the way that you explain things!! Thanks

[@angieBhanson]

Thank you for an informative video!

[@lialoves063]

Thank you for this video ❤️

[@1Amethyst2u]

Thank you so much💜

[@rmy_Youtube]

This was a very informative and helpful video!!!! I love a good healthy distraction. Lol. Part 2 please!

[@StephAnya]

Haha I’ve got you!

[@serrgggeo]

please make more!❤

[@4hinson777]

Nothing wrong with "accepting" your in the moment thoughts when they are genuine. What's on my mind! 😃👌🏾

[@cheyennevarela3991]

More please!!!

[@Dannyboysraceshit]

DBT changed my life, but it's not a miracle system that has an emeidiat change in your life. It takes work, but it's absolutely worth it. I've been at it for many years and it's the best system for me and probably would be for you as well if your reading this. Good vibes to you my friend.

[@monicamomney8756]

This is helpful trying to start a new business

[@chelster9627]

Thank you for all of your insights. I’ve really enjoyed learning about DBT. I am an educator and many students struggle with thinking about some thing and dwelling on it and not being able to process that. We are in a situation where they can step away physically from the situation are there any options that they have to deal with the situation while they are in a classroom environment

[@Lilcherryyy]

I stress badly and feel it in my shoulders & neck, so I bought CBD cream for that. I put it on my shoulders & it calms me and I don’t be in my thoughts or nothing. I be chilling lol.

[@shiningstar3147]

That's interesting! I feel it in my shoulders, jaws and lower back. I didn't really think of a cream before

[@gillianolckers9518]

Will you please make a video on dealing with emotional abuse?

[@_justyessyy_]

I write the problem or whatever I’m worrying about and throw it away! 😅

[@bruh666]

What's interesting to me is that I know people who basically do the opposite of ruminating: they excessively apply the methods described in this video, in order to never face their feelings. I've always seen that as a very negative thing, but this video made me realize that there are actual benefits to trying to control your own emotions, as long as you don't overdo it.

[@StephAnya]

That’s very true. It’s not healthy to be extreme on either side.

[@reflastori]

Off topic but i neeeeed that eyeshadow 😍😍😍

[@lakieshaholliday4600]

You've talked a lot about the trainings you've attended. Can you provide a resource list of reputable training providers?

[@Uneekname]

off-topic but your makeup is so pretty!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!!☺️

[@BM0RESquare_XTherapist]

✌🏼✌🏾Great advice

[@kristenjohns3710]

Can you do a video on the different types of specialties you can get in your graduate degree? I go to NCU and I’m curious your thoughts on the specialties they offer:)

[@mercyadegoke9958]

God Bless you 💕

[@radicalhonesty3628]

I try to process my thoughts as I watch this video, I mostly feel happy and light and grateful, and even playful... and I just pray... that the past doesn't get in the way of my happiness... and that all my stresses don't overwhelm me... that they may all just dissolve into the nothingness from which they came... and... there's a person I want... fuck, I have such a HUGE damn crush on this person... and I just want them to want me, just as I am. to need me, to love me, to hold me, to desire me, to kiss me, to belong to me... to long for me... I pray for true love...

[@giaparmer]

As someone with OCD how do I do the pushing away part without turning it into a compulsion?

[@raynikasmith8591]

love it 5/27/2022

[@glynisgracetx]

Would you please post which DBT training you attended? I'm interested in taking it. thanks

[@fatev7767]

Thanks you, you're so amazing!

[@UdoADHD]

Can I go through the training, myself? Or only therapists can?

[@jessek-9scentdetectiontrai10]

Beautiful Smile ❤😍

[@cdubsgates]

Thank you for this video. I believe distress tolerance is important. At the same time, resistance is coming up for me on a few points. This doesn't really tackle DOING anything about the problem. Is this only for issues you have no control over? Is the idea that you'll be in a better place to actually deal with the problem after ACCEPTS? Further, I struggle a lot with my 4yo, sometimes I would even say that she is the problem I need distraction from. However, I fear that following these tips to distract myself and essentially pulling away from her will be interpreted as abandonment or disapproval from her perspective. Any reframe you can provide here? Is there a middle place I can shoot for? Thanks so much!

[@StephAnya]

Hi Carly! This is specifically to address moments where you are about to either explode or implode. A way to disrupt ruminating thoughts until you’re ready to either move on or find solutions. You’re quite literally tolerating the distress. These are not tips for the long-term fixing of issues.

[@cdubsgates]

@@StephAnya Ah, that makes sense. Sometimes I'll start thinking about a problem in an attempt to come up with solutions but then that can turn into rumination. I guess the trick is figuring out which one you're doing, hmm.

[@TheWorthyMuva]

Can you do emotion focused therapy?

[@abigaila2024]

How to deal with ruminating when it happens before you go to sleep?

[@StephAnya]

I deal with this personally! Lately I’ve been listening to a sound app that’s designed to relax you. I talk about it in my Uche and Aaliyah video. I used to listen to audiobooks but I noticed that when the story is intense I can’t doze off.

[@abigaila2024]

@@StephAnya ok thank you I will try this, I started listening to affirmation videos

[@Spacepanda457]

Please do a reaction to this movie called “deep water”

[@nestonthomas4203]

My name is Nicole i need help all my relationships were toxic am so fade up

[@Jess-wk5jo]

I have question for you over affairs What type is affair is only holding hands and kissing and hugging and meeting up and texting and watching films them without having sex no sex with them? Is that really affair and cheating or is only friendship because their no sex involved

[@dafnik7893]

I find it ridiculous that everyone promotes better help. In my personal expirience is nothing compared to a proper psychologist.

[@anneautisms5136]

Thank you for this video! I am spiraling right now cause I went to a homophobic setting yesterday and now I have a lot of self hatred thoughts as far as my gender and stuff.

[@juliannaokike3359]

Do better health accept Medicare.

[@StephAnya]

MFTs aren’t approved for Medicare :(. Please urge your Congress members to change that!

[@buggy979]

I wish these KZbinrs would stop promoting better help, it hurts their reputation. I get they want money but oof

[@ohagens]

Wow you really have a shallow understanding of therapy…

[@Flowersandshotguns]

Better Help is terrible. Please stop recommending them.

[@infinitecurlie]

DBT is great for people (like me 🥲) who have Borderline personality disorder. I can't tell you how many times I've had an episode and have completely avoided what would have been something along the lines of a meltdown or heated argument. It has done wonders for my home and social life.

[@equilabrada]

Thank you so much for this.🫶🏾🔥💕