DBT Skills: Distress Tolerance & Crisis Survival

Distress tolerance is one of the core DBT skills. Learn the six crisis survival skills that we use in dialectical behavior therapy. If you'd like to support my channel, please see links below ⬇️⬇️
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0:00 Intro
1:52 STOP
3:10 Pros and Cons
5:28 TIP
6:57 Distraction
9:22 Self-Soothing with Your Senses
10:11 Improve the Moment
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▶️ Related Videos:
Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance: • DBT Skills: Mindfulnes...
Reality Acceptance: • DBT Skills: Reality Ac...
DBT Skills Playlist: • DBT Skills
Paired/Progressive Muscle Relaxation scripts at www.anxietycanada.com/sites/d... and www.law.berkeley.edu/files/Pr... or search KZbin for Progressive Muscle Relaxation for guided exercises and choose a voice you like.
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[@SelfHelpToons]

Please check out these related videos and DBT Skills playlist: Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZO5hYdrhdCVi6s Acceptance, Allowing and Letting Be: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZC6YZqblqhkedE DBT Skills Playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PL4Qw4-tlRJe-T2l5MtFOsLkTIkfZqjobY Paired/Progressive Muscle Relaxation scripts at www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf and www.law.berkeley.edu/files/Progressive_Muscle_Relaxation.pdf or search KZbin for Progressive Muscle Relaxation for guided exercises and choose a voice you like.

[@mariasanders-audelo3320]

Great video, schools should use DBT skills in there classrooms. Thank you for taking the time to makes this videos they been so helpful, I learn so much about and I’ll keep watching them. I’m reading a book call ( clean up your mental mess ) together with your videos have been life saving.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad they're helpful and thanks for sharing.

[@FEETRICX]

Totally agree

[@KatJ3st]

Absolutely!

[@nanceebirdlover5222]

I find Regulation is a great word. We regulate,not try to control or deny. Love it!

[@dzewpain]

5:43 😮😅😊😊😊

[@barbarav108]

You are indeed a gift. Your videos are calming and clear.

[@tessyong7596]

Thank You so much for Distress Tolerance & Crisis Survival Video. I had 12 clients in group; they all found it to be very helpful!

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks for letting me know, that's great to hear!

[@isabelapimentel4814]

I find these videos, extremely comforting and calming ❤

[@barbarav108]

Thank you so much for these self help videos… so helpful!

[@chewie1248]

I need you to know that you've saved my life. I had to do the work but without you, it would've been so much more difficult. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart

[@SelfHelpToons]

That's great to hear. Glad my videos could help.

[@RobinPickering]

Well done. I hope you're still doing OK 👍

[@LaGrossePaulik]

Excellent memo for the DBT skills I've learnt during therapy :) very useful and clear, as usual! 👍 Very good job! Thank you 👏

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks, I appreciate your comment!

[@rhizlanebenmellouk3614]

Thank you that’s extremely helpful

[@ebonybardell]

This is perfect thank you

[@shannonmoore3269]

Thank you so much it helped me alot

[@kathleenyeadon3655]

Thanks!!!❤

[@vijenderbalain5083]

thank you it helped a lot👍

[@songsangnim]

Thank you for the vid. Really helpful.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@justinetaylor9488]

It's really helping me! Thank you!

[@morningdevotionswithnickpe436]

Love these videos

[@LurkingLinnet]

THANK YOU THANKS A TON

[@FEETRICX]

Excellent thank you 🙏

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jamesheath7596]

I’m finding these videos really helpful. I’m just starting to understand why I am the way I am

[@audreyc3078]

Thank you: )

[@xObscureMars]

When doing the pros or cons I go in a clockwise motion, so that you are not ending on the cons of resisting a crisis urge. There is research suggesting when doing a pay off matrix for substance use, that they can actually cause more harm than good when ending on the cons of doing the beneficial things. i haven't seen anything specific on dbt, but I run with the assumption that makes total sense, and if it doesn't, there isn't any harm in doing it that way. However, the inverse may not be true.

[@SelfHelpToons]

That's a great tip.

[@xObscureMars]

Good video though. It would be a good one to show.

[@toothdoctor1701]

Thanks

[@OgFlo]

Such a helpful channel

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks!

[@Star-dj1kw]

❤ excellent

[@mellymelle76]

Awesome video!

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks!

[@sunflower-hs3ot]

Brilliant videos 👍

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks, I appreciate it!

[@coldasice7x]

cheers

[@karenohanlon4183]

Finding these videos really helpful for regulating my monkey brain.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad to hear it!

[@user-yo7tm9gp5u]

❤❤❤ this reminds me when and when not to say react using wise mins

[@paulusmartin464]

06:57: Distraction 09:33 self-soothing with your senses 10:12 improving the moment (...imagining a happier time, daydreams... ). 12:03 crisis survival skills

[@andreiprykhno9925]

Thanks for the video! You collected most of the tips I've ever known on the subject in one place. A question though. You mentioned 2 measures which help me out, but I don't let myself do them. 1. The first one is to eat something what you usually don't eat. In my case this is something unhealthy and desirable (chips, a piece of cake, etc) and I blame myself afterwards that I indulged into this activity since this food is unhealthy. And after I start eating I struggle to stop. Any opinion would be great. 2. Taking a short break. Also works very well for me (frustrations are often accompanied by the apathy), but again afterwards I struggle to go back to the planned activities (if the frustration persists) and blame myself afterwards for not being productive. Any thoughts are appreciated!

[@sharnimcheyzer585]

Heyy, I'm just a fellow patient trying to be her best self but I hope you'll hear me out here. In both these circumstances what I'm hearing is that there aren't any real world negative consequences for your actions but that you have created an internal narrative around them and berate yourself out of shame. I wonder if maybe the solution to your problem is to release that shame and instead allow yourself to be proud of coping with extreme distress however that had to happen. So instead of beating yourself up for eating some chips or cake and fixating on how it's "unhealthy", focus instead on how doing that allowed you to avoid other more detrimental coping mechanisms (self harm, substance abuse etc) and feel proud of that achievement. Similarly, instead of focusing on how you "should" be getting back to being productive after a break and thinking that your frustrations "should" have passed by now practice radical acceptance. Acknowledge that your emotions are what they are and shaming yourself into feeling differently doesn't work. Allow your mind, body and soul to process these emotions in the time it needs and remember that humans have value and worth outside of their "productivity" and that managing distressing emotions is a productive activity in and of itself. I understand where you're coming from, I too tend to default into berating myself and shaming myself no matter what I'm doing, I always think I "should've" done better/more. It doesn't help us though, all it does is foster our inner shame and make us feel bad for just doing our best to cope. I hope this is helpful and I hope you find ways to overcome your struggles to find more peace with yourself. Good luck 😊

[@andreiprykhno9925]

@@sharnimcheyzer585 hey, Sharni! I can agree with you on both points. Indeed one of my greatest challenges may be the shame of being not perfect. And this is an absolutely new perspective for me to treat dealing with emotional distress as being productive. Thanks for the cool fresh look from the side!

[@agustinagallegos3232]

Hello!!! Might you have these videos in Spanish? Or in print? These videos are SO very helpful

[@SelfHelpToons]

Sorry, I don't.

[@audreyc3078]

I have a question. Is there a video on your website that is for connecting to others and validating others? Thanks.

[@SelfHelpToons]

I have a few videos about interpersonal relationships at bit.ly/3OpLYYk but nothing specifically about that

[@audreyc3078]

I wonder, if talking to somebody, like a friend can help. How come it is not on the list?

[@SelfHelpToons]

That falls under distracting yourself with activities

[@siobhanwalker6816]

There’s literally no way I can do the STOP in the moment like who can even think when they’re distressed or imma crisis?

[@jacquelinemarie9655]

I think the secret is to practice breathing in moments where nothing distressing is happening. It’s annoying and boring but I’ve found that practicing deep breathing in moments when I’m at like 0-25% anxiety levels, I have an easier time breathing through the harder things. Obviously this isn’t a silver bullet, but I thought I’d share in case it can prove helpful to you or anyone else! ❤

[@littlestbroccoli]

And practice, it took a long time for me to even notice when I was saying it thinking mean things to myself, but over time and with effort, it got better. You don't have to be perfect, just noticing is doing something more than before

[@fabulouslife4646]

That's why it's called a skill. You are just not skilled at it yet. Good luck. You can do it! Practice self-compassion.

[@Alphacentauri819]

If you had to run 10 miles today could you? If you had to work as a Dr today could you? Could you fight in a war, know all the combat/defensive aspects you need? No, no, no. Not without sufficient training. You would have to do daily habits to build to those goals. Cultivating the skills, behaviors, to achieve those long term goals. Similar with the STOP dynamics. Our childhood is the foundation of whether or not this will be an easier or harder skill to achieve, along with genetic predisposition, personal vulnerabilities (which the two aforementioned affect), and much more. If we didn’t receive good co-regulation, emotional safety and modeling, we will struggle. If we weren’t attuned to, abused/neglected, in any way, our nervous system has some serious healing, resetting to do. It takes daily, intentional, practice, to calm the nervous system. To get it out of sympathetic mode and into parasympathetic mode more often. When you inhale it activates the sympathetic, exhale activates the parasympathetic. Therefore, a simple breathing practice of longer exhale than inhale, is a great beginning place. Movement with breath work is so helpful too. That’s why yoga (which means Union) is powerful. Space is created with conscious breathing. Space to think, process, to let be. The more space, the more you can pause, and it becomes easier to react less, and recover quicker. The reactionary aspect didn’t happen overnight, and has become further ingrained over time…so it will take time, conscious practice, repeated. Use neuroplasticity to your advantage, undoing the old programs, with repetition+emotion. Along with journaling, EMDR, whatever other modalities (it is rarely only one thing that heals us, it is a collection of many habits, choices, working synergistically to help us), do those too. Make it a top priority to cultivate “safety” as in helping your nervous system to feel safe. If certain people, media, habits, undermine that “safety”, remove yourself. It has to be very intentional. After a while, you will find that you can employ STOP much easier. You have the space, pause, higher cognitive function, and aren’t emotionally hikacked as easily. That then increases your sense of self trust, self efficacy, self empowerment. To know that you then have choice, and can observe and not react, is incredible. I myself have come from high reactivity and not seeing how I could implement things to help…and now, years later, I have so, so much more peace, control of my life, interactions. You CAN do it!!! 💫

[@user-be5wn7nx7v]

You have to count for 6 seconds, then the destress will go away.

[@historyislostforever]

This proves Ho'oponopono works

[@Adviceyou.adviceme]

None of my amateur Sh*tty therapists could tell me all this! Lost 10 years of my life! All my 20s gone!

[@siobhanwalker6816]

And also am I supposed to bite my tongue any time someone hurts me bc I might regret it and my relationship might be ruined? Shouldn’t people know they hurt you?

[@SelfHelpToons]

If someone has hurt you and you want to let them know, it's going to be difficult to convey how you're feeling in a productive manner if you're so distressed that you find it hard to even think. So the best course of action would be to bite your tongue in the moment when you're feeling extremely well distressed, and then discuss your hurt feelings when you're no longer in a state of distress and can talk about things more calmly.

[@vijenderbalain5083]

thx🤌🏾✨🤠

[@wukung1338]

The incongruity of the ad in the middle of the video was so distressing, I shut off the player.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Sorry you had that experience. I don't have any control over the ads KZbin runs, and if I didn't run any ads I wouldn't be able to earn a living

[@puresugah]

Comparison sounds like gaslighting yourself.

[@MegaDaxter95]

When I was in the Marines we would go on a forced march (hiking without the fun) of 5,10,20 miles with 75+lbs of gear. One thing we were often told was when you felt like quitting to look around at your mates. Someone on that march is weaker than you physically but is still pushing on and not quitting. On the other hand it was not uncommon to see the “strong guy” of the group tap out well before you had even considered giving up. Contemplating on either scenario was a great internal motivation to keep trucking. Someone out there in the world is in your situation and is by all means weaker than you but has not given up hope. Also, you have made it this far while others out there stronger in every way have failed. I think that is what he means by comparing yourself to other’s situations and struggles. I hope that makes sense

[@Viv8ldi]

Memo: compare urself to the less fortunate