DBT - Distress Tolerance - Radical Acceptance

One of the most important things we can do in a challenging situation is to radically accept it. This means to open our eyes to the truth of the situation and be willing to see it clearly. In this video, Dr. May gives a thorough review of radical acceptance, including what it is, how to do it effectively, and how it benefits us.
**This channel contains videos of ALL the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, Radically Open DBT skills, and much more! Check out the new series on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (*designed to help with attachment and trauma problems), which is currently being recorded. For updates and easy access to content, feel free to SUBSCRIBE.

[@gabilavender3363]

Much wholeness to all tuning in, may you be at ease with the continual acceptance of reality and self. I am here with you, in solidarity. And you are an angel Dr. May. Many, many thanks.

[@angelaped]

I am so grateful I found your channel. Thank you for being so generous with your knowledge, gifts, and time. All of your videos are healing and I believe necessary for living life in a healthy and balanced way. Thank you!

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Awh, thanks so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate it! ❤️

[@sharongonzales2495]

Wow, Dr. May☺️. You are such a powerful, kind hearted, down to earth teacher. Thank you for succinctly explaining radical acceptance! I’m making it a daily part of my life. Much appreciated✨💪🏻✨🙏🏻😇

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thanks so much! I hope radical acceptance will be helpful for you!

[@MC_Micnificent]

This is a great video. Thanks for making it! This is life changing

[@JN25376]

Excellent video. Very helpful. Thank you!

[@jackiecartwright9343]

Great vid! Thanks for the generous therapy session!

[@mestephanie6076]

Needed to hear this today..... and will need to hear... again and again and again...💛🌼☀🌻💛

[@shalisapartee433]

Wonderful. Thank you!

[@ravenwyld]

subscribed. this makes things way easier to understand

[@radhashankar8848]

I love all your videos Dr May, thank you

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you! 🙏

[@AP-nx6xo]

Excellent. Thank you

[@twistedxxdreams]

I love your explanation of radical acceptance, thank you for sharing this!

[@akebax]

Dr. May, thank you for generously presenting. Fantastic diagram as well!

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you! 🙏

[@InfinitePisces]

I have the DBT skills workbook and radical acceptance has been a huge help.

[@kerish23]

Thank you 😢🙏🏼❤️

[@fantasytrain42]

This is the one skill so far that I cannot seem to understand and achieve

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

It is hard, and I don't know if any of us achieves it--and definitely not all the time. I think that's why they say we need to "practice" radical acceptance. It's a challenging work in progress.

[@Liz.pierre6904]

Thanks! This was helpful.

[@maryannehickey2741]

Wow! Excellent presentation and discussion. I very much needed to hear this and learn this concept. Thank you.

[@granthiggins3492]

Thanks for sharing your time with us out here🎉

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

You’re welcome! 🙏

[@Newhouse846]

Some of the most painful experiences have led to some really great outcomes. I find that when I think the world is ending and I hate the situation.somethimg ten times better happens as a result.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

That's a great insight. Thanks for sharing!

[@user-xt1ui2tx6e]

Thank you so much for sharing this! ..I lost my wife a year and half ago, still struggling with the reality of this ...but ...thank you for explaining the way you did !! ...

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. If you are interested, I have a fairly new video on my channel called Finding Meaning in Loss which you might find helpful as well.

[@lindahebb4832]

Thank you for posting

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thanks for watching! 🙏

[@zoelynch1419]

I feel like I'm on a whole new spiritual space. The old me could never.

[@clarawasserstein99]

Thank you so much for this! So helpful. I found you through your interview on The BPD Bravery Show So glad I listened to this. What helped me especially, was the visual you provided for the process of fighting reality 😅

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thanks so much! 🙏❤️

[@marywolfe6598]

Reality is painful when you come from dysfunction and want love from family.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

That is very true. Even when we accept something, it can still be painful. I hope you will find love from people who are able to give it to you.

[@HD-mg9ru]

Phenomenal presentation 😊👍💕 Thank you!! 🙏

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Thank you 🙏

[@HD-mg9ru]

@@jennifermayph.d.2761 You're welcome. ❤

[@Mysticus11]

So helpful 🙏🏾🌈💫☮️

[@tugbasahin717]

great content thnks very much:)

[@Whatareyoueven42]

I radically accepted that people suck. Such a stress reduction. Social isolation really is the absolute best. Forced myself for the longest time to be social. What I really needed was to accept I dislike people. Thank you.

[@Whatareyoueven42]

@@Stopnormalizingviolence That flag is so big 🙃 Everyone includes you. I know it is tough but you will manage.

[@Wargoat6]

Radical acceptance does not work with broad generalizations. I suggest something like "there are some mean people in this world."

[@Whatareyoueven42]

@@Wargoat6 There sure are. Which is why social isolation really is the best and safest thing to do. Get paid by the government and stay home. Go suck an egg.

[@Whatareyoueven42]

@@Wargoat6 No, thanks.

[@Whatareyoueven42]

@@Wargoat6 Get paid by the government and stay home. It's the best choice.

[@NOTWNOTWNOTW]

A lot of times, I feel like I accept things as they are (with certain negative experiences), with an "Oh, well" kind of attitude. Almost like resigning. Positive self-talk is extremely difficult for me. My self-worth has always been very low/weak, and compassion for others, very high. It's effortless to care about others. It can be very frustrating at times. I try to listen to mindfulness meditations but I can't stand most of them. It sounds fake to me. It's hard to take the words and the narrators/guides seriously.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

It can be very painful experience to feel hopelessly resigned. A lot of people go through what you are expressing and will be able to relate to your comment. Sometimes when growing up, it was most adaptive for us to make ourselves small by beating ourselves up for being not good enough and tending to the needs of others. Because it helped us to emotionally survive and preserve key attachment relationships then, it is hard for us to give that up now. If you are interested, you may benefit from my Sensorimotor Psychotherapy videos, which help us understand where these old patterns come from and how we can develop more adaptive patterns now. You may also benefit from my videos on shame ("From Shame to Self Acceptance" and "RO DBT - Lesson 08B - Flexible Mind SAGE"), plus "Coping With Your Inner Critic" and "The Art of Receiving: Letting in the Good."

[@NOTWNOTWNOTW]

@@jennifermayph.d.2761 thank you for the feedback and suggestions. I appreciate your time.

[@marywolfe6598]

I live in Sr. Housing and people are nosey and gossipy. I have my name on other lists for apartments and set boundaries but the situation is distressing.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Absolutely. But you make a good point that you can accept a difficult situation and still work to change it.

[@evadebruijn]

✌️

[@jimicunningable]

As 2022 begins, I am a DBT patient & environmentalist.. I can't help feeling DBT isn't enough for Teotwaki.. Can anyone relate?

[@sadiqaisha4057]

Is radical acceptance limited to things we have no control over? or can it be about things that are within our control (for example, bad habits), but that require acceptance before change can occur?

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Absolutely… you can practice accepting anything that is occurring in this moment. You can accept that right now you are struggling with a bad habit but also know that you can work toward breaking it.

[@ocrodger]

Will this acceptance help me to accept my diagnosis of Parkinson's disease? It's been 3 years now. I'm struggling to accept that I have Parkinson's disease now. What's your thoughts cuz I could sure use some help.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

I’m so sorry to hear about your Parkinson’s diagnosis. I would imagine that there is a grieving process you might experience as you mourn the loss of functioning, life plans and expectations. You might have moments of acceptance mixed in with a host of other emotions such as sadness, frustration and anger. Maybe a Parkinson’s support group or a caring therapist can help you process this experience and work towards a greater acceptance.

[@verfassungspatriot]

There is so much confusion about RA. Many see it as "apathy" and keep sitting in shit, but that's far from what really means. I think the confusion arises from the double meaning of the word 'acceptance'. I think, 'equanimity' describes almost the same thing like RA. It encompasses non-acceptance, too. Sounds quite paradoxically, but it actually isn't. 'Radically' in this sense means 'from a meta-perspective'. You're always going a step more back. If consequently go the way of RA or equanimity, I feel, you're going to become enlightened.

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

That’s an excellent observation! Eventually, if you practice radical acceptance you realize that the good things and bad things, the hardships and triumphs are all a part of life. When you get that “meta” view and appreciate the “full catastrophe living,” you will stay more emotionally “even” about it because you gain a deep acceptance of life as it is.

[@katherinelydon7306]

What if you don’t want to leave your situation?

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

Without knowing much about your situation, I guess you can say that you can practice accepting the choice you are making while keeping your eyes open to all the consequences of that choice.

[@hew195050]

Where does the law of attraction fit in here…..or does it not?

[@jennifermayph.d.2761]

That's a really interesting question. I'm not personally an expert on the law of attraction, although I have some familiarity with it. But I don't think that radically accepting negative events necessarily attracts negative things into your life. And I also don't necessarily think that if you act skillfully by radically accepting, you will automatically attract good things into your life. However, I do think that approaching more things in life with radical acceptance can bring you greater peace and free you up to move forward rather than staying stuck in resentment. I suppose this might put you in a position to attract different things, but I'm really not sure. Perhaps another viewer with more knowledge than me about the law of attraction would like to weigh in?