Reframe Your Negative Thoughts: Change How You See the World 17/30 How to Process Emotions

[@quynhanh3067]

But what if our negative perceptions are true realities and our positive ones are overly positive? I think most people with negative thoughts don't mind changing, they are simply worried that positivity is false and negativity is not as likely as a defense mech for themselves

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yes. It’s not the positive is good and negative is bad or false. It’s that with many many things we don’t know what’s true and instead have to make our best guess. And that’s an assumption. And the types of assumptions we consistently make determine to a degree how we feel and act. So we humbly acknowledge that we can’t know which thoughts are “true” and instead we have to choose which thoughts we will act on. So choose the most helpful ones.

[@brianstephenson4713]

@@TherapyinaNutshell I hope you respond more to the comments section. I had a question, but I can't recall it right now. Great content though! This information is helping me. Thank you.

[@quynhanh3067]

@@TherapyinaNutshell I completely agree! thank you:)

[@tonyburton419]

Even if the "stories" are accurate, it is how they function, and how they are working in the here & now in respect to one's values.

[@radwi69]

Yes,I guess this is the case with me! For some reasons ( up bringing-domestic circumstances-childhood bad experiences-beliefs ) I wrongfully thought and still think most of the time, that too much optimism will eventually bring about disappointment. It had so many times left me with despair ….. ……. It certainly had created a vicious cycle of self-imposed pessimism. In other words, I am too afraid to be truly happy and joyful. It also affected my ability to appropriately handle various other emotions and often my actions thence ( Black & White/All or None thinking ).

[@ashley-pc2cd]

9:14 “just because we think something doesn’t mean it’s true, but how we consistently think leads to how we feel!” ‼️

[@ashley-pc2cd]

9:45 you can CHOOSE how you feel by choosing what story you tell yourself!

[@ashley-pc2cd]

10:14 reframing‼️

[@ashley-pc2cd]

10:23 do the 6 pack exercise‼️

[@ashley-pc2cd]

11:16 1: is my story truthful?

[@ashley-pc2cd]

11:37 2: is my story KIND?

[@lindabelcher8087]

Instead of getting road rage when someone speeds by or cuts me off, I just tell my kids that those people are rushing home cuz they really gotta poop😅

[@kellyeats_oats]

😂😂

[@BravosReviews]

What does “cutting” someone off mean?

[@TheTman9898]

@@BravosReviews they just really badly want to fit in 😂

[@cynthiageskes1457]

If you are one of the many clueless people who refuse to acknowledge that the furthest left lane on a freeway (excluding car pool lanes) is the passing lane and you should move to the right or speed up if you are driving slower than cars in the lane to the right. Or if you are a person who leaves excessive spaces between your car and the car in front of you, people will rage or cut you off. If you drive with tunnel vision - not paying attention to what's happening behind and to the side of your car, i.e. car to your left has indicator on and needs to move over, so you should slow down or speed up, but you keep driving your car right next to that car you will cause road rage. To often those who "Don't speed and are safe driver's" cause other drivers to rage.

[@motivationalpage3660]

@@cynthiageskes1457 It’s the drivers responsibility not to rage. If they blame others as to why they rage they are a weak minded person and give others control of their life.

[@danowens839]

Thank you! I know therapists don’t hear it often enough, but what you do makes a difference!

[@liketeenspiritI]

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this channel. I have been struggling with anxiety, negative thoughts, lack of self-esteem since 2021 and it has been only getting worse and worse. It has put my life on big troubles and I hurt people who care about me. I did therapy but it was unfocused and mostly talking about how my week was. I commit myself to stop giving this so many time of my life, I wanna be in love with life again. I have been so lucky I just found your channel and such a good helpful content FOR FREE is such a miracle. You are an angel on Earth, I can see you are a therapist from your heart. I wish life brings you back all the good your once gave.

[@veronicaaguilar2235]

Agree 1000%

[@orlacollins1082]

The desk surrounds the chair, she's physically bigger than it, she gives the chair a purpose, she protects and shelters the chair, she offers a comforting presence and someone to look up to

[@CorePathway]

I wish I had a desk like that when I was a chair!

[@vukbabovic5031]

The whole point is not to buy into the story - no?

[@Discovery_and_Change]

0:24 Acceptance and commitment therapy 1:39 Your mind is a story creator 1:59 Our assumptions, stories, and unconscious interpretations create our reality and feelings 4:09 Question your narratives about situations 4:50 What if things aren't about you at all? (when you think you're the reason something isn't working) 5:35 Change your life by creating new "stories" 6:06 We can change how we feel and solve problems (when we change stories) 6:35 Your interpretations are the "stories" 9:19 How we consistently think leads to how we feel 10:02 You can choose your thoughts 10:12 Reframing: look at things from different perspective 10:58 Explore different ways of seeing things, then choose the story that's most helpful 11:19 Is my story truthful? Kind? Does it give me power to act? 12:35 Focus on what you CAN control 13:10 Check if YOU are living the values you want others to have 13:40 We aren't saints ourselves 14:05 Take a break from the situation. Do activities that make you feel calm, loving, and open. Write about it. Get other people's perspectives 14:55 Open yourself to have more choice in life 15:05 Have a growth mindset. What can I learn from this? How can it help me? 15:30 Sometimes I imagine people are robots sent to test how I'll react to situations 15:50 Our stories create our reality and how we feel and act 15:55 Decide which stories to give your energy to. That can free you and change how you feel

[@StarlightKii]

Thank you! ❤

[@liketeenspiritI]

Thank you! Just wrote the notes on my helping mindset notebook

[@bhavisha5465]

Thank you❤

[@ChristopherHarris-in4ls]

😂

[@azadarkhan6336]

You are doing service to humanity by making these life changing videos free to people suffering from mental illness. You are great. God bless you.

[@sulpanharahap6502]

It is really helpfull. It is miracle

[@traceyhoover]

A kindness and service to humanity. Well said.

[@sophiedumain2400]

Sooooo useful. This woman has such a lovely vibe. I would choose her as a therapist any time.

[@LUrzidil-rn7nd]

if you and her wouldnt lie and call it communication, knowledge, therapy and so on ...

[@الأملبالله-و6ر]

Educate yourself through this video. Please give me your opinion after watching the video. I love you allm.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mpnSapKnnsuUhMU

[@gregriddle3042]

Agreed!!

[@MrPLC999]

If you're serious about changing the way you see the world, you may want to consider how God sees it. Why change just to end up wrong again?

[@keisha2544]

I love her vibe too. She seems down to earth and caring.

[@Native_love]

I'm unemployed and behind on my car payment 2 months, my apartment my insurance payment and my electricity bill. Regardless your videos are helping me to deal with the reality of the situation! Thank you and God bless you for helping us with our problems! ❤❤❤

[@Cnsalmoni]

How completely and utterly selfless and generous of you!

[@andiethedragon]

It's been a few months, I hope things have gotten at least a little better for you! 💕

[@Native_love]

@andiethedragon Unbelievably awesome now! I'm back to work and happiness is not needing money to survive! God is truly GREAT!!!

[@andiethedragon]

@@Native_love That's amazing to hear friend! So proud of you, wishing you continued happiness and peace 💕 We've all got this!

[@OrganizedWithJoy]

"Just because we think something doesn't mean it's true. But how we consistently think leads to how we feel." Wow, so good!! I just recently found your channel and I really appreciate this information you are sharing!😊

[@kyara_tingz-7716]

Same I love her already one of my new favorite KZbinrs 🫶🏼

[@-MakeItGood-]

I read that line as she said it. Coincidence? Hmmm..

[@francesgarcia1446]

I have lived with mental illness for more than 40 years, but I never stop learning or growing my mental health. Your videos are amazing. They reinforce some of the things I've learned in the past, and they teach me new ways to deal and heal. Thank you.

[@windygonzales4115]

That is amazing, you’re dealing it for how many years. You must be so strong. Salute to that.

[@PraveenSrJ01]

I’m turning 39 years old next Thursday and lived with mental health issues the past 31 years since age 7/8. Been getting a lot of help for the past 3 decades.

[@hanta6898]

@@PraveenSrJ01 hello praveen

[@Nialuv246]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Nialuv246]

You just gave me hop .So beautiful for us both❤love yah

[@sandrag3225]

The desk is over the chair, like in a protective posture. They fit together beautifully. The desk provides a space for great work or art to be created. It supports what needs to be done while the chair supports the person doing it. They are a pair!

[@taraallen6671]

My thoughts exactly

[@jeanIkreum]

I thought the same. The desk is like a cocoon for the chair to fit under just like a protective mother.

[@sherrieb7133]

I love this and I am tired of the negative narratives that run through my mind. It’s exhausting. The brain can be so detrimental to the fulfillment of our lives. Since I’ve been meditating and switching my negative thoughts to positive ones I’ve been happier and my life is slowly transforming into something really great.

[@Blessednesting]

The desk is the mother of the chair because she engulfs, protects and surrounds it. He/she can safely tuck inside and rest. Reminds me of how our relationship with our own parents should be or should have been as children. I pray that I provide the emotional support to my children that I needed as a child. 🙏🏻♥️

[@kharmalade544]

Thank you for actually answering the question. Not many others did.

[@aslmad1]

@@kharmalade544 see my answer. What do you think?

[@seminawahab5754]

The desk lies still while the chair moves like a child runs

[@edgarferragut2269]

The desk was made from a single tree and the chair was built from it's sapling

[@annetterussell1301]

My thoughts as well

[@PositiveEnergy733]

To those on a journey of healing, sending love your way. Remember, it's important not to resist loving yourself. Know that you are deeply loved and deserving of all the joy and pleasure life has to offer. My heart is with you, and I want to express my gratitude for your existence. You are truly beautiful, and your light shines brightly. Thank you for simply being you.

[@francoiseturgeon8015]

Thank you so much for your comment, that’s what I deeply needed on this precise moment of my life. I had very bad times these last days, I was searching for some answers and asked the universe to send me something that would help. And then I read your message and that made me feel a lot better and hopeful. I send you all my love, peace and kindness. 🥰

[@MatterInMyMind]

☯️

[@TeaMi104]

Thank you for your comment I've recently been battling anxiety and been trying to change thoughts about myself instead of being negative I should be more positive about me but I'm still working on myself but your comment really helped thank you may God bless you and keep you safe!

[@jessitabonita]

3 minutes in, and I’m already crying. I’m about to turn 29 and have had ALL the same self-hating thoughts while longing to be a wife and mother. Thank you and may God bless you!

[@الأملبالله-و6ر]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZ_RdWqPirysmKs

[@theandrewhenderson]

Good luck to you, Jessita. 😊

[@Choukobunbun]

Same here, except I can’t help but think that in my case it might actually be true. I have medical issues, and am somewhat limited physically. I almost got married to my fiancé, but we are no longer together after I had a mental breakdown. But I had to have an occiputocervical fusion, which took a whole year to heal and left me struggling to take care of chores, and his toddler. All I wanted was to be able to take care of my family, but It was difficult and I wasn’t able to do enough, even though we were happy. Now that I am healed I would love to believe that I could actually be a wife and mother but I can’t help but think believing that would be utterly delusional.. not to mention that my condition is genetic with a 50% chance of passing it on to my children, so maybe god really doesn’t want me to have kids and ruin them. In my case I am defective and with mental illness on top of the other stuff, it’s hard to tell myself that I just need to reframe my negative thoughts.

[@bobmalooga335]

I'm 40 and not vaccinated

[@kendrahazen1150]

As a teacher we use the acronym THINK (True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?) to teach kids to stop and THINK about what they say before they say it. I’ve been using it to challenge my cognitive distortions. But I’ve really needed that 3rd question to ask myself - what gives me power to act. The 3rd question moves the process from thoughts into a principle based action.

[@Shininglight1234]

That is brilliant. Greetings from Ireland 🇮🇪

[@brittanyadcock8668]

I am definitely gonna have to remember this acronym for my kids and siblings, even myself lol 😅 Lately I've been saying things that are rude/shouldn't be said. When I remember I need to think before reacting, it's usually when I am feeling angry or sad. How would this apply in situations where you are feeling neutral or positive emotions? I don't often think before I say "hello" when greeting a family member 🥴 If I make a comment that I don't realize can hurt someone's feelings, I don't stop to think about it because I don't feel it will have a negative outcome. Until AFTER I say it lol

[@girlwithlion]

“how can i interpret my circumstances so i feel hopeful or compassionate?” i love this!!! ❤

[@kerrimurphy4107]

I really needed this today. I have been struggling with my negative mind running the show. Lately, I have felt on the verge of a break down.. I am learning that I must pay attention to my thoughts.

[@beautyamongashes8378]

Whoa!!! Major 💡 “DOES YOUR STORY ALIGN WITH YOUR VALUES?!” This just changed everything for me! Thank you so much Emma!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@Mo-sr7ii]

Hello. Thank you so much. I'll be referring to your video so more people can help themselves.

[@gunitsahani4263]

I've been under 4 therapists in around 22 years of OCD and your videos have added so much more value and insight into my disease and how I can battle it. I can finally see a ray of hope in what has been a hellishly dark pit. Thank you so much

[@akanksha7028]

Indian?

[@gunitsahani4263]

@@akanksha7028 Yes :)

[@Kelser0ni]

I have OCD as well and the OCD therapists on the NOCD app helped tremendously in my recovery; I barely have any episodes three years after treatment. I love sharing this app because it really changed my life for the better! 💕

[@Heddanofarsan]

Woooow good to hear! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@kimbaxley7595]

My immediate thought was "it's not". The desk is not the mother of the chair. I love your videos. They help more than any therapist appointment I have been to.

[@veronicacobb8691]

I want to say thank you for your videos. When I’m feeling depressed or anxious I turn to them and it’s an easy, passive way to help myself feel better when I don’t have the energy to do anything else. You are such a wonderful person. I pray God will bless you abundantly in mind, body, spirit and finances. You are a 🕯 in the dark.

[@garyprange4594]

God bless you bigger and bigger. I’ve spent a lot of time and money on therapy. Then find out there’s direct and indirect counseling. I’ve always got indirect counsel. I’m just not a figure it out person. Your compassion and directness touches my soul. You Rock 😎

[@Lin-ts9gi]

Thanks for sharing. Really helps me who grow up with apprehensive minds and been judging others negatively most of the time to possibly break the toxic cycles internally. ❤

[@SeanRhoadesChristopher]

My Six Pack: 1. Maybe she’s lazy - creates a feeling hopelessness 2. Maybe she’s a narcissist - feelings of anger 3. Maybe she’s been raised in a family where she was never expected to do chores - feelings of frustration 4. Maybe she just doesn’t care - feelings of anger 5. Maybe her Circadian rhythm is off and she is not well rested - feelings of concern 6. Maybe her need for organization is at a lower threshold than mine? - feelings of understanding

[@Nini-ek6on]

Boy I think we can all relate to falling into the comparison trap..I think the hardest thing is to let go and not expect others to be what WE want them to be even when we think or know they are not living up to their full potential..I'll never forget hearing a favorite tv pastor talk about counseling a husband asking him if there were ANY good things about his wife to which he responded "yes" but the fact that she didn't possess the skills to keep the house clean about ended their marriage..so the pastor solved the whole issue by saying ..then why don't you just hire a cleaning lady..? And they did.

[@antispindr8613]

OR, seven, just get a new room mate? SORTED!

[@JCinerea]

I am an absolute slob who lives by himself. I donate blood. I volunteer at church. But, because I'm a slob who leaves dishes in the sink, I "don't care". Ah-hah.

[@aravindhsankar9017]

Hello mam. I am from India. I have been watching your videos from last week. It's been a really hard time for me. I got rejected on every jobs I applied. I was shattered and felt worse. Your videos came as a blessing to me. I applied the concepts you taught through your videos in my real life. Especially I found your catastrophic video you posted last year very useful. You made a difference in my life. I am more than motivated now and I am sure I will land in a job very soon. Keep doing this videos mam. Thank you again for your wonderful work.

[@mfrancisco_850]

Omg yes I worry about work and money too

[@luckydevil1601]

Did you land a job?

[@heathermatthews7422]

I needed this slap in the back of my head. Eternal Gratitude for for this fabulous series! 😊 I'm 50 yrs old and changing for the better with your help. Excellent work ❣️🌠

[@nancyayotte2297]

😂 me too sister and im 58😮 😅

[@lynnfriedland9498]

I am therapist and have participated in many workshops, trainings and seminars. I've also had many teachers. So I'm amazed at how much I'm learning from this channel: Emma is so clear, kind and full of practical skills to face whatever challenges my clients and I! are facing. Thank you for these skills concerning the topic of "how we think, leads to how we feel." This shows that we truly have more choices than we think and that what our brains produce might not always be true.

[@Paul999799]

It’s a brilliant compliment to the chair, while the desk doesn’t need a chair and vice versa, life is a lot easier with both

[@rosedevarel7098]

Sometimes framing the story does help to an extend! This video helped. . I have been trying to survive a toxic's Christian's negative social, economic and physical influence on my life for the past 15 years! Acting better than them is not going to solve the issue. They create this triangulation of competition and manipulation. It took me a while to realize their insecurity, abuse after being physically attacked, and lack of boundaries. Thanks for putting this video out there! I have learned from this video alot! Family members are the hardest but its possible with planning, distance, and time.

[@JayJay-ki4mi]

I used to be very angry and paranoid. But after spending a lot of time reframing my thoughts and thinking about situations in other ways that has gone away. I watched this so I could share it with my partner who is struggling badly at the moment. But she didn't want to watch it and I almost had a situation where I felt a bit annoyed, and then I had to reframe my thinking.

[@NandyzSoulshine]

The story that gives us space to take action, to choose is the one that helps us spend our emotions wisely... living this truth right now and loving it.

[@manahilnauman2239]

When she said “your unconscious interpretations of situations shapes how you think and act” 👍🏻 We tend to form stories as children by interpreting situations in which we have been wronged. There is no other way to make sense of the trauma. Which is why usually traumas turn into self-blame or guilt

[@jenjencannon3224]

Amazing work Emma. 💪 "Because the chair nests under the desk and the desk protects the chair... at least 65% of the chair is tucked in and covered by the desk. It can also be pulled out and have a turn at supporting others sometimes. "

[@jessicaboyles3903]

I can not thank you enough for this content. Your willingness to share your knowledge is invaluable to those of us who don’t have insurance and can’t afford therapy. This is so helpful and also super validating of how I’m currently growing and what I’ve been working on personally. I appreciate you!!

[@Ottophil]

God? No thanks. Bye

[@sairwen]

1:00 the desk is the mother of the chair because the desk always protects the chair. the chair is always tucked in underneath the desk, the desk protecting that chair from harms way (storms, someone tripping over it, getting written on, etc. the desk gets written on so the chair doesnt have to.

[@joecaz]

5:22 Now, in this situation, the way she was interpreting her challenge was creating a roadblock for her. How we consistently see problems, how we interpret life, that creates our reality. One of the ways that we can change our life is by opening up some space for new stories. 5:50 This exercise is all about creating space around our thinking, so that we can hopefully choose which set of stories to believe, which set of stories we want to act on. And when we do this we can change how we feel and we can solve problems in our lives. 9:14 JUST BECAUSE WE THINK SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE, but how we consistently think leads to how we feel. So, my thought “she's so selfish,” leads to me feeling angry. Thinking I deserve to be mistreated left me feeling depressed. Thinking maybe “she's completely overwhelmed” helped me feel compassion for her. And thinking “what if she doesn't know what bugs me” gave me a little hope that things could improve if I talk to her. You can choose how you consistently feel by choosing which stories, which interpretation of situations, you consistently believe. When we can only see things one way, we are rigid, inflexible, and we often feel powerless to act. When we open ourselves up to different ways of seeing, we can choose which thoughts line up with the values that we want to act on. So, here's the technique that therapists use all the time. It's called REFRAMING. 10:48 I am not saying that all stories are equal; I'm saying that the process of considering alternatives, it's this process that frees us to choose healing. So, allow yourself to explore different ways of seeing things, and then after you've opened up to seeing these different alternatives, then you can choose a story that's most helpful for you. Here are three questions you could ask yourself that may be helpful in deciding which story you want to act on. 1. Is my story truthful? choose between a variety of stories based on our values. 2. Is my story kind? choose a story that lines up with the kind of person I want to be. 3. Does my story give me the power to act? Asking instead, you know, where's my locus of control, how can I change or influence this situation? When we have a story that gives us a little bit of power in our situation, this is going to give us more ability to choose, you know, what we're going to do and how we're going to feel. Those three questions can help us get a little bit of clarity on which story we want to choose and act on. 15:41 The bottom line is we make an interpretation of every circumstance in our life, and our interpretations, OUR STORIES CREATE OUR REALITY. They color our view and they determine how we feel and how we act. But if we can learn to notice our stories, we can choose which ones we're going to give our energy to, and that can free you to change how you feel and solve more problems. Basically, learning the skill of REFRAMING is a key to living a happier life.

[@laurzee]

This is so good! I forget that our brains make up the stories and they may not be based on truth. I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention so that I can hold it and examine it helpfully.

[@Heddanofarsan]

Actually you yourself just expressed that with unpresedented compromised clarity. Good work. Good spark!

[@user-qo3jh9mn1t]

Since watching your videos, when you said the answer is that it isn't, instead of berating myself for getting it wrong, I realized that I was willing to take the question and questioner as valid and not fear negative results. Big step in trusting for me.

[@winstonchurchll]

Hi! I'm currently struggling with my mental health and I wanted to thank you for making these videos because they are calming and helpful because they provide practical advice on how to keep moving forward. Please know you are helping a lot of people so, thank you for your time and effort here.

[@vivaldirules]

“It’s the process that frees us....” That was incredibly useful. I’ve heard of many times (and occasionally used) reframing but usually it’s suggested with only one or two alternative reframings which often seem meant to lead us to the one story they want us to see. Your example of six (ten) alternatives makes clear the process of considering several (even many) alternative views and trying to learn from that process instead of clinging to a story or one alternative. Eventually it becomes clear to me that my head has picked up on one that may not be helpful or true and I could just stop getting hung up on the story and instead work on an objective remedy. Very, very useful. Thank you!

[@anaguevara1900]

The feelings attached to the scenarios has lifted 20 pounds off of me it seems

[@angelasewell8311]

The desk is over the chair as the protection

[@ReadMeLikeANovel]

EVERYONE has told me that I control how I feel, but no one has ever told me HOW. Thank you.

[@Stacelicious]

This was so helpful for me and it couldn't have been uploaded at a better time. Earlier I was feeling emotionally attacked by someone. After talking with some friends for a while, they offered more positive ideas, and I wound up feeling compassion towards the individual. I'm going to practice this daily 💗

[@Mary-oy7oe]

I am so incredibly thankful to have found your page. I am a baby therapist (I've had my LMSW for 4 years but just recently started individual therapy) and I started sifting through many different resource tools to look for education for myself. Your channel is so easy to digest, as well as to regurgitate to others! Thank you for providing this resource, especially for free!

[@チャーム-i9u]

Thank you so much for this! I've been more hopeful about my situation and I believe that in every single day that I'm living, there's something that I'm learning that also makes me a better version of myself. Life is sometimes tough, but it's not going to be like that forever. Right now, I am focusing on improving my relationship more with God and it helps me!!! Praying and hoping that everyone here will be healed and will learn from the hardships we went through!

[@markgregoryh.8353]

In my view, this human has helped me cope more than the hours of therapy I have experienced.

[@lyndaallen3883]

Emma, you are a terrific therapist. I only just came across your videos and I am enjoying them so much. I have not listened to enough of them yet to hear why you have created this online presence. I, for one, am thrilled you did. I am a tutor, learning specialist, life and spiritual coach and I really appreciate your ability to so impressively and succinctly present your "therapy in a nutshell". Your videos will be my new resource to share. On a more personal note, I am trying to encourage my hubby to participate with me in your Improve Your Relationships in 30 Days. We have only done the first two parts and for me, obviously it all resonates, but for him it is an uncomfortable experience that I'm not sure he will complete. Whether he does or does not, I can see already that this is a wonderful and very reasonably priced course for anyone who would prefer to do therapy in their own time and in their own space. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, gifts and talents with all of us.

[@Thankfulforeverymoment]

I always feel like I am not worthy of love. I always feel like I see so many amazing people but there is nothing amazing about me. People always leave my life. It started when I was just a little girl and I have a hard time even making friends. I just don’t have anything to offer anyone. I have been working on myself but I am struggling a lot because I am not the person I want to be.

[@lizanne4685]

Sis, you have helped me a lot when I was dealing with self esteem and worthlessness.. Now you are helping me to face problems without cracking to the pressure.. Thank you so much. Your voice and the way you tell it makes me feel like it will be ok i will be okay. :)

[@phillipsantana2633]

You're so right Emma has the know how in her stellar advice factor in her voice and body language and you got lightning in a bottle.

[@barouvictoria9787]

I love this!!!! I started doing this by myself noticing that sometimes we are assuming things we don’t have a clue about and it’s a lot of pretending people have bad intentions towards us, or us being super mean with ourselves 😂 I’m on my way to changing my thought and exploring more options. Thanks for your channel. And your voice is super cool to hear ❤

[@lovetodaylisa3967]

Im sick of my crappy thoughts that is what has brought me here. I love the reframing of the thoughts think kind not angry

[@bruceleeharveyoswald5104]

The desk packs the chair's lunch before school every morning.

[@gerrieshapiro2147]

Where did you buy this desk?....I need one!!

[@TheIntuitiveShaman]

Lol

[@jillpruett3444]

The desk is a helicopter desk.

[@eveallusion]

😂

[@CrumbsDM]

Wow, what a desk! 👌🏻 😁

[@novalolmanzero3]

The desk surrounds the chair, protecting him

[@TheJoseG]

😂

[@nahedmahmoud2972]

🤣🤣

[@1down12go]

But the desk isn't watching the chair's back

[@gerrieshapiro2147]

Lmao that also what my mind came up with...great minds think alike😛😛😛

[@sparrow2831]

I love this comment 💙

[@MsLaura4000]

This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.

[@maryu8328]

This 6 pack exercise is amaaazing! I know that the “one” I’m ruminating on will still hold the most power but this will help start knocking down its ego a little bit

[@Chard_]

Very late to this channel but it is fantastic & I wanted to do the pause & answer the question so - the desk is the mother of the chair because the desk gives the chair safety and shelter, the desk gives the chair somewhere to be, but the desk has it's own purpose and the chair is free to be moved around the room or house, used in many different places & situations but can always come back to the desk to be tucked under and safe

[@blazemordly9746]

Emma~ I immediately got up and promptly asked my chair why I wasn't told about Desk being it's mother. Chair just sat there, as if to say, "Wait for it..." then you answered my question with 'The Desk is.......' . Chair just sat there as I silently eased back onto it, and together we learned from you yet again. ") *edited from giving out the question's answer.

[@libertybe816]

I appreciate you more than I can find the words to express. Thank you for your time and willingness to teach others.

[@vukbabovic5031]

The very fact that the mind is the story creator is the root of all misunderstanding. Life has proven to me that people use mind for creating stories and excuses rather then to come up with holistic solutions. By overusing this technique we reach a point where we fail to acknowledge the problems within ourselves, and even go as far as framing other people when we decide to take harmful actions against them or even get rid of them. The best example is when people say: "It is not a crime to harm a criminal" - I believe this is only justified in self defense since I am christian, and I can recognize the logic in which this could be validated as justice - HOWEVER, many of these people have proven that when the person in their way is not a criminal, they will dig out all sort of dirt before they proceed with their evil. Due to this many people get screwed just for looking or behaving awkward - which is not a sin. In truth we have no reliable way to determine the truthfulness of negative thoughts, the only truth is they are there and they ask for attention.

[@everydayvacaytaj]

And, as I've learned from Abraham Hicks, the idea that feels the best when you think it is the most correct one. In other words, when you're going through all of those possibilities and they make you feel different things, the better the feeling the closer it is to truth. That's what's called the emotional guidance system, that we all have built-in.

[@jonmoneymaker329]

In 40+ years of doing counseling your desk example was an "ah ha" moment for me!!! Absolutely brilliant and simple to understand video about reframing!!! Well done!!!

[@stephanierosario5615]

Yes I needed this today🙌🏻it was god sent I was feeling very depressed and overwhelmed today because my daughter is failing in school with this online learning making me feel like a terrible mother so thank you❤️ this reminded me that I can choose my thoughts so thank you

[@conradprytz5104]

Hang in there .you are not a terrible mother.

[@Kayreid5230]

❤️💙💓

[@peachyyp5126]

The desk is always covering and protecting the chair. Even if it leaves and comes back . Unconditional love .

[@davidfrey5654]

I'm a men's marriage coach and I help men reframe their negative thoughts ALL THE TIME. This is such a useful video. Thank you!

[@Medinalaura11]

You're an angel on earth. Thank you for the work that you do. Thank you for the life-saving resources you put out for free - truly invaluable.

[@yvonnepearson2080]

I just want to say thank you for posting this video. I am in my first year of graduate school for marriage and family therapy, and I wish you were one of my professors! You made reframing so understandable. I actually found your video while searching for reframing techniques and examples to aid in my preparation for a video presentation I am doing next week. Thank you so much.

[@judymorgan3917]

I've done a lot of therapy over the years and this was still really helpful. Thanks so much!!!

[@xxvii4xx]

2023 oct at 04;46 I’m watching you and I actually realized how i could open up and communicate after what you taught. Cause I mostly hold things up and when I put out all the good I did goes in-vain because my opinions come across aggressive or too straightforward and I lose the true essence of my feminine energy that way. Thank you for this doc

[@melaniewhite922]

As a Catholic, I have for years worked to live with virtue and against vices. Your explanation of the stories our mind creates, how those stories are not always truthful or helpful to wellbeing, and a plan to consciously choose how to act is the most concise way I have thus far come across for working toward virtue. I especially like your imaginary integrity-testing robots!

[@nickadams1519]

Sending Love ❤️...Melanie...Are you single? ❤️🌹🌹🌹

[@MollieGold]

I'm only 2 minutes in and I had to pause to thank you for these videos. I just recently came across your channel and it has been so beneficial in helping me think outside my typical mindset! you are a fantastic teacher.

[@self-helpnathan6557]

This video helped me so much. I’ve been chewed out by my manager and threatened to be fired by him. I’ve been super upset about it. Now I can change my interpretation of the situation into a more understanding viewpoint. I already feel less irritated by the situation. Thank you so much. I subscribed to ur channel ❤️

[@a.c.w.1927]

I’m a social work intern in school and I’m interning at a substance abuse and MH outpatient facility and I’ve found your video’s extremely helpful during my internship. Subscribed! 😊

[@AaronSmith-zs6ve]

Me too

[@nazpasfred3]

Thank you so much for these videos and for making them available to the general public.

[@deepanshusahu4174]

6 pack tharepy: Make 6 different perception to the situation. Then analysing your perception on the basis of: 1. Is my story truthful? 2. Is my story kind? 3. Does my story give me the power to act? Where is the locus of control Gandhi said: You must be the change you are wishing to see in the world. Are you living it. Other things to do in situation: 1.Take break from situation. 2. Do some activity that help you feel calm, loving and open. 3. Writing about it. 4. Getting another's perspective. Use the growth mindset: What can I learn from this. How can this experience help me in becoming a better person. How can I become better person from this problem. [For eg. One perspective could be, everyone here is robot and is testing how do I react to a particular situation and testing my integrity] Our intepration stories makes our reality and make us feel. But if we choose to notice our stories, we can choose for which one should be giving energy to and that can free you to change how you feel and solve more problem. Basically skill of Reframing is key to living happier life.

[@victoriawinters6573]

Emma, what is it like to change thousands of people’s lives and in turn change the lives of the people in their lives and not even know it? You can actually see it when you are conducting face to face therapy but you have no idea how many people are helping with your videos. GOD BLESS YOU!!! You are an angel 😇.

[@nmorto2013]

I hope ppl really take this in. I was super negative as a person when I was younger. I definitely changed my perspective over the years and it took deliberate work. I never knew what the reframing I've done was called but yes I did a lot of inner reflection and changing the narratives I was taught or made up. Hoping healing and flexible mindsets for all. And yes I consitenly do this bc to me healing is life long.

[@leonardalcalaii9277]

@TherapyInANutshell The desk is... Incomplete with my un tallied last works week un paid hours... I am single, tired from work & still I am sooo glad that you are here on KZbin for me to find answers, faithful clarity & everything I need to know in my personal life to learn & to figure out what to do in my life from a wonderful professional you who is just like me, in all we know to be true & believe ✌😇💖 I sooo appreciate all that you do, to teach & help all those in life who are blessed to learn from you and all your years of experience and from what you know from your own personal life what works best when we are faced with all our fears & things that bring us down in life... Thank you very, very much Sister Therapy IN A Nutshell 💖!!!

[@Mossy-Rock]

"How is the desk the mother of the chair?" After 30 seconds, the only response I could think of is, "this does not compute."

[@DaRyteJuan]

Not only that, it’s pretty bad “therapy” to lob trick questions at your patients and invite them to make fools of themselves just to prove your point.

[@vtksolid9127]

the first 15 i could just picture it nothing else!

[@OneSongCloser]

@@DaRyteJuan Who said she was making us into fools? Sounds like some projection to me

[@DaRyteJuan]

@@OneSongCloser Yeah. You don’t lob trick questions at your patients. The therapist is laying a trap for the client to walk into. Probably at least half of the people who go to therapy have some kind of trust issues. And laying out a trap in that context is destructive. I’d like you to picture yourself going to a therapist and says you, “Now close your eyes and just fall backwards. I’ll catch you.” But then she lets you fall backwards onto the floor without making any attempt to break your fall. Then when you realize what happened, she say, “Why would think that I had the strength to catch you?” I don’t know about you, but most other people are going to feel pretty stupid for trusting that therapist and never trust her again. I mean, if you consider that good therapy, then go for it.

[@dogscratchedoor]

And yet............... None of that happened.

[@RickGtr271]

Thanks so much for this important advice. Just today I'm going through strong emotions about a neighbor who is supposed to do work for me. I paid half for the job and he continues to make excuses for the past three weeks of why he can't start. The six pack process helped greatly to think about other things that may be going on and how I'm framing this issue. He has 3 daughters and two other jobs and maybe is too busy to realize what day it is. Whatever is happening, the important thing is to handle my emotions no matter what the outcome. This video is fantastic advice to control my emotions. Reframing is very important.

[@shawnadavis7356]

Thank you so much for these videos. I’m in my 30s and didn’t start counseling until now. That along with these videos are literally life changing. I wish I had these skills sooner. They seem so basic but I lived in my head so much I couldn’t see the solutions without outside guidance.

[@DonnaSnyder]

Thank you so very much. Just watching you in a video has an immediate effect on my sense of comfort in the world. I'm miserable a lot, and even though I've engaged in rigorous self scrutiny my whole life, I still fall into bad thinking that traps me rather than liberating me. I appreciate your generosity. Even your accent has a good effect on me. Thank you.

[@brigittegilmore5756]

Without the desk the chair would have never been made💜

[@ochuwahope2559]

The desk is the mother of the chair because it takes up most of the responsibility, also is a shield for the chair

[@lisabeeke7162]

This was terrific thank you. I listened twice. Happy Easter and thank for all you do.

[@tonybrigmon]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:07 🧠 Understanding How Your Mind Creates Stories - Your mind automatically creates connections between things, forming stories to make sense of the world. - Unconscious interpretations shape your consistent feelings and actions. - Assumptions and stories influence your reality and perception of situations. 02:03 🌍 The Power of Interpretation: Shaping Your Reality - Interpretations affect how you consistently feel and act in various situations. - An example of a client reframing her narrative transformed her life and led to marriage. - Changing interpretations creates space for new possibilities and positive outcomes. 05:50 🧘‍♂️ Practicing Reframing: The Six-Pack Exercise - The six-pack exercise involves exploring multiple interpretations of a situation. - Examining different perspectives allows you to choose empowering narratives. - Opening up to diverse interpretations fosters emotional flexibility and problem-solving skills. 09:44 🤔 Evaluating Your Stories: Three Key Questions - Question 1: Is my story truthful? Check for self-deception and cognitive distortions. - Question 2: Is my story kind? Align your narrative with your values and kindness. - Question 3: Does my story empower me to act? Focus on your locus of control and ability to influence the situation. 13:30 🔄 Overcoming Stuck Perspectives: Techniques for Clarity - Take a break, engage in calming activities, or write to gain clarity on the situation. - Seeking diverse perspectives from others can provide insights, but be cautious about confirmation bias. - Embracing a growth mindset allows challenges to become opportunities for personal growth and empowerment. Made with HARPA AI

[@ShawneeAnselmi]

Because the desk usually protects the chair as you always slide the chair under the desk or table usually. Also because when sitting in a chair you lean onto the desk to write or for support as in life you would lean on your mother for support or a shoulder to lean on.

[@sharonfisher3179]

Wow that was sooooo helpful! Thanks for being such an awesome human.

[@sharonfisher3179]

Emma, do you know about the podcast Meditative Story? I recently discovered this healing lifeline and just wanted to share it. I find it immensely soothing.

[@kameaokalanikalota-uzia5985]

The desk determines where the chair goes.

[@Stumpybear7640]

Mmmm nope. That's not the desks decision. It is the humans one x

[@mrsb431]

I think that I had a bit of a light bulb moment whilst watching this. The opening exercise, where Emma asks us to provide an explanation for our reasons why we think the desk is the mother of the chair was an excellent exercise in helping to highlight the reasons that we get into trouble with negative thinking is that it seems that for many of us, our brain doesn't have a skeptic built into it. Obviously, we all know that a desk isn't mother to a chair, but many of us still processed this question, as if it were a fact. Thats exactly the way that many brains work with negative thoughts - even though we know that the thoughts most likely are not going to ever materialise (like we know that the table isn't really the chairs mother), the way the brain works is that it wants to go over & get drawn into whatever scenario it decides to present to our minds eye. Excellent exercise in highlighting this process!

[@mtrahan0209]

The chair wouldn’t be where it is without the desk.

[@kookatsoonjan]

ha ha...so true...

[@Stumpybear7640]

Why? X

[@tbecks6096]

that’s what I thought - and I thought it would be the right answer too😄

[@petebeckett3756]

@@Stumpybear7640 well, it wouldn't be.. standing next to a desk.. maybe its chained to the desk.. if not, i dont see how the desk can get kudos for the chairs place in the world.. X

[@DaRyteJuan]

The chair definitely doesn’t need the desk. But depending on the height of the desk, it’s pretty much dependent upon the chair. 🪑

[@dustyroads5721]

What you're doing is helping lots of folks Emma. Knowledge is strength and you're Hercules! 💪

[@veronicaaguilar2235]

Wow free therapy 😮 youre great, God sent. Alot of therapy only talks about your week and not challenge your mind.

[@ElizabethKelly-n90]

I am so very glad I came across your content. It is helping me immensely. Thank you, thank you🙏🏻

[@catspurr_98]

Everytime she says about "changing perspective", I get slightly overwhelmed because I have been so used to thinking in a certain way, that getting back to a "normal life" can be equally intimidating with the kind of ups and downs there are. I think it's also because my thinking pattern although negative, has at least helped me to have certainty in my life instead of dealing with uncertain circumstances called life. 🙈

[@barbiechanel9389]

Heyy was wondering if you have any tips on this since then?

[@catspurr_98]

@@barbiechanel9389 yes. I've realised that thinking negatively about anything (worrying for eg) is the way our brain is normally wired, so it's a default function. But if you strongly believe that there's nothing wrong with ur life or its timings, and u unconditionally accept ur life for what it is and be truly grateful then you can uplift yourself. I've usually started practicing this after meeting people who don't think so hard about their progress in life or don't get stressed about most of the things, and they're doing just fine. U have to recognise that very few things are actually under your control in life (to let go) and then not take ur life too seriously all the time. Bcz either way, your life will keep going and you'll reach somewhere new. Plus, it's a myth that worrying helps u live ur life better. Bcz staying calm and positive helps u stay in the present moment and create ur life.

[@barbiechanel9389]

@@catspurr_98 oh wow thank you so much, I’ll make sure I stick to that mindset!

[@catspurr_98]

@@barbiechanel9389 I think it's all about being non-judgemental about whatever worries you. The less we form conclusive opinions, the more we get to be neutral and look at the bigger picture. :)

[@noelreyes4221]

I love this video. There’s a lot of self help videos out there but this one really resonates with me. And to answer the introductory question. In pairs, we assume the big one is the momma and the other one is the baby. It’s a warm sentiment. So the desk is the mom and the chair is the baby. We can see a big bear and a small cub in nature. And we will assume a maternal. For all we know that’s the dad. Or maybe they aren’t even related.

[@dorinnefacey6436]

You are such a good therapist, I particularly appreciate your analogies, you explain things so well... thank you for sharing and help through my struggles... valuable tools, keep up the good work 😊👍🏾

[@mirelavb8751]

The desk isn't the mother of the chair. The desk is desk, the chair is chair. They are just bussiness associates.