How We Lie to Ourselves

We are masters at knowing how to lie to ourselves. We pay a heavy price for this self-deception.
Enjoying our KZbin videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/6rru0
Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/9LIIW
FURTHER READING
“Truly good people are always ready and even, at times, highly enthusiastic about telling lies. This sounds odd only because we are in the grip of a heroic but indiscriminate and delusional addiction to truth-telling…”
You can read more on this and other topics here: goo.gl/NKnY0I
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLself
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
X: / theschooloflife
Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Nick Hilditch
nickhilditch.com/wordpress/ #TheSchoolOfLife

[@ODdm3]

Am I the only one who really, really appreciate the silence/no music calm atmosphere of the school of life videos? It's refreshing and relaxing especially now every youtuber have a loud dupstep song for an intro.

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks so much.

[@dr.sanabinteashraf3791]

@@theschooloflifetv me too I love your videos for brilliant messages and calmness and it also helps me to understand myself

[@jamepearson]

ODdm3 I agree with the no music. The tone of the voice isn’t pleasant for me. I wish there was an option to change it individually. The content is great, just the voice. The

[@CaptainOfTheLostWaves]

ODdm3 I applaud your observation too.... silence is golden, underpinning the dulcet warmth of the tones of the narrator x

[@Que5ta0]

Obrigado

[@MacgyverFreitas]

1 - Distraction/addiction 2 - Manic Cheeriness 3 - Irritability 4 -Denigration 5 - Censoriousness 6 - Defensiveness 7 - Cynicism, Despair

[@AnnaSzabo]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@Gallzatron]

Number 1. Distraction/addiction. How ironic, that I'm watching this and smoking weed instead of getting work done.

[@Silverag212]

At least you know that though! Not lying to yourself in that sense :)

[@Cutelittlethangg101]

Gallzatron I feel that man.

[@ernestoglez6725]

Same here bruh... (hits blunt)

[@GROMINBLX]

Same :P

[@GROMINBLX]

Alyssa Ohara Naked bitches & the sims, living every 12 years old's dream you are

[@isabellabornberg2153]

now a 'how to be honest to oneself' please✨

[@0ThrowawayAccount0]

Do the opposite of this video.

[@nuriaaa0922]

Yes!!!!

[@nadjiguemarful]

i was about to say this... but maybe the method is particular to the person..

[@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446]

Isabella Bornberg Hopefully we'll also learn what to be honest about, since alot of people don't even know where to start with honesty and self reflection.

[@cloudiow]

I would also love to hear Alains insight on this! But from my own experience there is one thing that is the most honest and best connected to "oneself" and that is your feelings. Away from the ego(self) the rational, logical and analytical thinking. Feeling your own feeling is most probably the most honest you can be to your self, eventho in these days it's hard to feel your own feeling without that it has been overshadowed by others / beliefs.

[@SuperGreatSphinx]

"I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me." ― S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders

[@ambersmith3387]

Stella Maris Excellent book. Excellent reference.

[@ang794]

These videos make me feel like I'm going to earn a PhD in psychology lol

[@allisonbaird5750]

Me too haha

[@3rin649]

Son Goku u taking things a bit far

[@joffre55]

@Son Goku What are you even talking about and how is that relevant to whatever Angelica Haro is talking about?

[@no79way]

@Eric Jgable okay! Chill

[@no79way]

Hahahahaha

[@1982pantro]

thank you school of life,it migth sound stupid,but by watching your videos, i understand myself better and i approach things from different angles. gracias

[@theschooloflifetv]

We're so pleased, thank you.

[@gidmanone]

+The School of Life does getting addicted to your videos count as a distraction?

[@gidmanone]

+The School of Life does getting addicted to your videos count as a distraction?

[@soslothful]

This is the point of their videos.

[@muhfuckersfuckfuckers1108]

Life is simple. Who just have to listen and think of what you listen.

[@FreshHeat]

THIS CHANNEL DESERVES A GOD DAMN AWARD

[@theschooloflifetv]

We'd love one, but in the meantime, a comment like yours is delightful.

[@carlomiceli]

This one video truly is a masterpiece. Great job!

[@autumnheart8323]

The School of Life makes me cry sometimes. This is one of those times. I feel like I have been lying to myself for so long, and in such creative ways, that I might never stop.

[@theschooloflifetv]

We're touched by your message - and send you our very best.

[@autumnheart8323]

Thank you for seeing me :'( I didn't quite expect that. Please keep making videos that make me cry :')

[@sanctusignis9746]

Now you are aware, awareness is the first step. And you are not alone, alot of people do this in varying degrees. The School of Life is my free therapy. Seems like it's doing you alot of good too. Take Care 😊

[@robhulson]

Autumn, I hope that you have found the ability to stop lying to yourself in these last two years. I began my journey one year ago this week. I have learned to start apologizing to and forgiving myself for the lies I tell. I’ve become better at catching the lies, but not with the purpose of punishing. “You must be hurting,” I might say to myself. This, along with School of Life’s video on soothing yourself, are two of their most powerful videos. Again, my sincere hopes that you are finding the rewards of not lying to yourself, or at least catching it more quickly.

[@SikhTranslations]

Solution: Accept that you lie to yourself in these ways and catch yourself in the middle of them. Reject them as lies and accept the truth.

[@stagnantfox3027]

I often lie to people I care about because I do not want to go through potential pain from rejection. Secretly I wish I could be 100% honest to myself towards others

[@IshikaShanai]

When I'm in these situations, I often tell half-lies or rather I don't tell them the entire truth because it saves me from having to "lie" to someone and then taking the brunt of the rejection. Other times I just take the risk - facing the consequences that follow. If you don't take the first steps to accomplish something, you'll never know how it will turn out. But hey, some people don't ever really care for the truth and would rather live with the lies. I say just take the chance and open up, if those you care about reject you for it - try to work it out with them. Because if YOU care about them, they most likely share the sentiment.

[@kalashnikov1343]

Time Axl I always make it one of my efforts to be as honest as possible in these situations. Even if it makes me sound shitty I honestly couldn't care less.

[@kickhuggy]

this is funny because now I understand myself more, but I still give in to my whims, so I'm not actually any better

[@lightfreak999]

Can you elaborate on what you mean by "learn and comprehend it consciously"?

[@Alphacentauri819]

It’s a process :) Understanding, in theory, is quite different than implementation!

[@RickC--fn5om]

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, though I think I butchered the quote

[@DawryMike]

STOP READING MY MIND SCHOOL OF LIFE

[@camilohiche4475]

School of Life = Psycho Mantis

[@usheffi]

Myke it's Google who's reading you're mind

[@user-gw1bh8sm2t]

😄

[@chosensamurott4907]

HAAHAA

[@ClydeHidershaj]

We see fear as fundamental, but I think it's a consequence of ignorance. We don't fear the things we understand.

[@gregmasseyify]

Clyde Hidershaj I almost completely agree, however I would be of a afraid of a hungry looking pack on lions if they came down my way!

[@ClydeHidershaj]

Greg Massey did you see that video where a whole bunch of people are just standing still while a bull just runs between them, without ever tackling anybody? Now I'm not saying I wouldn't be afraid, only pointing out that understanding something precedes you being afraid of it.

[@Robert-lb7jq]

It's all about the KNAWLEDGE and the Lamborghinis.

[@gregmasseyify]

No I can't say I've seen that one, what do I need to look for? I was just joking really. I think even the fear response it's self can be dealt with more easily once better understood!

[@triplflip900]

Indeed that may be true, but ignorance is also just as fundamental - it is obviously impossible to try to understand everything, and doing so would just be another form of avoiding fear. I think the issue lies in how we cope with fear. As this video suggests, trying to confront it directly as it arises, as difficult as that may be, is probably the least destructive method

[@bolivar1789]

I called my mother to say happy new year and this is what she said right away: " You are all deaf and blind." She means all my brothers and sisters and my humble self. She said that whatever we believe that we have achieved in life in terms of success etc. is all worthless, since non of us is following the real path, the religious path. Well, as always, she wasn't kind at all, but I have found something poetic in that statement. Indeed it is good to have someone in your life ( no matter how malicious) to tell you that you are deaf and blind. People who love you don't tell you these things... And may be not in the way that she means it, but in ways that you are not yet able to perceive, you are blind for sure... And some things you start to see, blind you to other things too... All this is to say that we need constant reminders, so that we can be as open as we can to the world and as honest as we can with ourselves. One very powerful reminder would be the novel, " The Death of Ivan Ilyich"by Tolstoy. Especially the 9th chapter of that book is unforgettable . Just a very short chapter where Ivan lies all alone and in terrible pain in his bed. He suddenly hears the voice of his own soul saying: -What do you want? What do you want? He says: -What do I want? To live and not to suffer. So his inner voice says: - To live? How? - To live as I used to- well and pleasantly. - As you lived before, well and pleasantly? Here is how Tolstoy continues: " And in imagination he began to recall the best moments of his pleasant life. But strange to say none of those best moments of his pleasant life now seemed at all what they had then seemed_ none of them except the first recollections of childhood. There , in childhood, there had been something really pleasant with which it would be possible to live if it could return. But the child who had experienced that happiness existed no longer: it was like a reminiscence of somebody else. As soon as the period began which had produced the present Ivan Ilyich, all that had then seemed joys now melted before his sight and turned into something trivial and often nasty". So as he keeps looking back on his life his thoughts become darker and darker. He basically realises that his entire life had been a LIE, he lived for what the others expected from him; for money, power and status etc.. He wasted the time given to him in this world and now there is no way back! Indeed we all must keep Ivan Ilyich in mind every day. Just consider how fast the time goes by.... How much of it do we really spend seriously thinking about our lives? Very little indeed... Because it requires a certain level of focus and depth and COURAGE , which we don't have most of the time. That's why this scene is a great reminder. So it may be a good idea to have a kind of " death bed exercise" , where we can use the very questions that Ivan Ilyich's soul was asking him. It can really help us to live a more honest and fulfilled life. Thanks a lot for this very valuable lesson and for the great animation!

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

Lua Veli Well said and great quote. :) Russian lit is darkly instructive but many like look only to the proverbial neon lit side of the street.

[@abbykoop5363]

If only I could remember a happy childhood memory....

[@bolivar1789]

@@abbykoop5363 Hello there Abby. I am very sorry to hear that. But as the legendary psychologist Donald Winnicott says: " 'The catastrophe you fear will happen has in fact already happened." Since our childhood is over, the worst is over. We have much more power and agency over our lives now. I hope you find comfort and hope in this thought. Stay safe! Best wishes :- )

[@bolivar1789]

@@CRFSUIGENERIS Hello there! Very sorry for writing back two years later! But notifications of youtube often dont work, so I just saw your message. Thanks a lot for reading all this. I guess I understand what you mean. We probably get what we need from what we read... In any case I wish you health, peace and calm in these days. Best wishes :- )

[@kamel2258]

Hi Lua.. I just want to ask how did you become like this... Like your words are amazing.. And basically I want to become like this.. Its my dream.. Do I just have to read books?

[@ZERO-hy3gt]

When i stoped lying to myself, i started to hate myself..

[@ForeheadSweat]

You guys are fucking wizards. I get a notification from you and as soon as I saw the title I was like how the fuck. I was just telling myself to stop lying to myself moments ago. How it's unhealthy but also one of the only ways you can get through life..

[@ForeheadSweat]

I just now finished watching the video and..its so on point. Thanks :)

[@theschooloflifetv]

So kind Andrei - happy new year!

[@epicteto14]

I feel the same way!

[@ForeheadSweat]

The School of Life Happy new year :) This is one of those channels that I'll be forever thankful for!

[@soslothful]

Power, power writing.

[@blay92]

I'm japanese. I could not read English , but I can understand this video(and this channel) was so interesting and saved my mind. and... if someone made japanese subtitles with these videos I feel so glad. maybe this comment used wrong english to. Thankyou for reading.

[@peacemaker8292]

you kawaii

[@chandlerhart6012]

The mantic cheeriness is me. Omg all the time what I'll do is I'll fake laugh. Or I'll smile to myself, or I'll watch a funny video or talk to a friend, and just be fake overly cheery and happy/laughy. To hide my depression and laziness. This video made me realize what I was doing, thank you so much dude.

[@vikitheviki]

We are addicted to our pain.

[@mayaportland8805]

Ironically, we have more luxury and comfort than kings and queens had only a hundred years ago, but we still complain about the quality of our lives. No matter how much we have , we always want more, we keep wanting to be someone else, have what others have. .. stop already all this non sense, stop wanting to be someone else, you don't know rich and famous people are miserable too? Most of them use drugs, have nasty addictions, have mental problems. ..you don't see that? Once your belly is full, you have a safe roof over your head, happiness is yours, is in your hand, you still look for it in all wrong places, hoping that more objects you buy, more power you get, finally you'll be happy. ..no, no, happiness is not a place to get to, it's not an object you can possess. You're becoming happy, it is your decision. Mentally you have the capability to be happy, just allow it. Stop the nonsense of wanting to be someone else, only then you can be happy to be yourself.

[@ellav8496]

Isabelle Layla thanks Layla

[@mayaportland8805]

Em me you're welcome dear

[@mayaportland8805]

+Dark Knight Goes into Hiding lol, very true btw, I love Sadhguru's teachings :)

[@EveofPyrite]

so beautifully true yet I still am learning this

[@MrJimbissle]

I think its not 'more' we want. Its that we are missing something awfully important. One of the vids is about how society is wrong about addiction. Their point is not only correct , but also goes to much of whats wrong currently. Look it up. Theres as much there as any in of them. And its not often put so well.

[@hijodelaisla275]

Perhaps one reason we lie to ourselves is confusion - that the explanation for our discontent isn't readily at hand, and we're not prepared to do the work required to figure it out.

[@pattycake5643]

I love your channel. you are the lightbulb being turned on in a dark, overcrowded room. that needs a much needed light to navigate. I want to thank you.

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks Patty.

[@tubsie5273]

This video has a very powerful message. I have first-hand experience with all of these conditions, and because of my repetitive lying to myself, I've slowly developed major symptoms of depression. I intentionally distract myself and my life has come to a point where I tell myself (as in speak up loudly when no one else is around) that the only reason I'm doing most things anymore, is to distract myself. I have lost interest is most things, I have absolutely no hobbies, my emotional state is unstable and my mood swings are random and rapid, sometimes I get frustrated without knowing the cause and start crying. I have multiple personas: two major ones are one for my personal life with family and blood relatives and the other for people who I meet in college or any other place through my own connections. The personal one is where I'm rude, cynical, easily irritable. And my other persona is mainly me being overly cheerful and always forcing myself to smile. It's come to a point where I don't even know whether a trait is actually a part of my personality or something I'm forcing myself to do. And even though I'm fully aware that my life and mental state is in turmoil because of me lying to myself, I can't bring myself to stop doing it. I can't find the motivation or the power to actually be honest; mainly because right now I'm in no position to solve my problems. I, sometimes, wish for a friend or someone who'd just let me talk about everything without judging me or telling me to stop whining. I really want someone to help me out, because I can't seem to pull myself out, even though I'm pulling myself ahead and barely functioning as a human. I know that I could go to a therapist but where I live, if I go to the therapist after my abandoning my concern for the stigma it carries,and if I honestly tell my feelings and thoughts to the therapist, they'll tell my family everything, there wouldn't be any confidentiality. And if I was okay with telling my family the kind of stuff that goes on in my mind, I wouldn't have wished for someone to talk to. So it's nice being told that even though the problems I have might not be something everyone is going through, the current major reason of my problem is something most people have to deal with on different scales, and I'm not alone.

[@mugs4439]

I feel you fam :,( I was in a similar state about 6 months ago and am on the path of feeling better then I ever have in my entire life lol. All I can really say is that focusing on understanding yourself and who you really are is more important then anything. Also you really need to rant to people to get your thoughts out. I found that when I did stuff like that I was able to move forward faster. You don't have to tell your parents everything but maybe just talk about what your struggling with on a much smaller scale? Idk. Also eating health / sleep /excersize are hugely important to allow yourself to think with the greatest focus and make yourself feel a lot better. This is pretty incoherent and probably didnt help, but anyways good luck. The only person keeping you from having the life you want is yourself. The only thing you truly own is your own body and for a healthy mind you need a healthy body. Sound cheesy but true asf trust me.

[@tubsie5273]

+Mugs Thanks for that. I'll do my best to improve my diet. But finding someone to talk to isn't easy, mainly because I just can't bring myself to trust them. Also people often start judging you for whatever you say to them. You're completely right about discussing problems, even I feel like if I had someone to talk to about all the things that are troubling me I'd probably feel a lot better.

[@mugs4439]

I don't mind giving you my perspective if it will help. But try to find a website or something online where you can make friends who you know wouldn't judge you and talk to them. It's easy through games but im sure theirs some chat websites also. Althought its not the best, hashing stuff out online is a great way to ground yourself.

[@MrFernando182100]

You've gone too far, I feel attacked in a very personal way

[@MrFernando182100]

Simurg Anka what pain? What are you talking about. I'm FINE

[@SomethingSoOriginal]

No that's the point of the video, you are not fine, i think you need to watch it again

[@bobbob8254]

lol

[@MrFernando182100]

SomethingSoOriginal what? What? No. I'm goooood. Psss I'm fine

[@HUTZKIKLON]

ohhh i see what you did there :D haha nice one :)

[@Luchoedge]

I wish to express my sincere gratitude for your work. It's very clear and spot on. I Share every video I watch. I just saw that there's an option to submit subtitles. I'll be translating your videos to Spanish, an continuing to share them.

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks so much - we'd love Spanish subtitles for all our films.

[@user-sf5iq2fl1l]

I'll do portuguese subs for this video, never did it before, is there someone doing it?

[@user-sf5iq2fl1l]

Well did the subtitles in portuguese begining to end, spent almost 2 hours basically...they are good. where are they though?

[@Luchoedge]

they must be revised and approved before they are published. it takes a day or two apparently.

[@felipemoitta]

School of Life, you are amazing. It's astonishing to me how good your videos are, and how consistently you do them. Each accomplishment would be remarcable on their own, but to do them together, always and always good, that's a feat few have been able to perform. My sincere thanks, for making my life a little better, for allowing and pushing me, ever so beatifully, to reflect and ponder the right or good questions, to walk your talk and be an example, thank you for existing!

[@theschooloflifetv]

So kind Felipe - and very good wishes.

[@goodbad4563]

Wow this actually helped me see more clearly. I've recently been very stressed out and I think it's because I'm not being completely honest with others with how I feel towards them. I try too hard to be nice sometimes. To sacrifice myself for another's issues and I don't know what to do with the pressure.

[@liannabeauchamps7853]

Dear self, When you finally decide to do this and face pain everything in you is going to scream at you to stop because that’s how are brains are designed, to avoid pain. You have to power through and be prepared for the inner backlash you’re going to face. I promise the deep peace after you get all that shit out feels so good! With love, Higher self

[@curiouschokra7077]

Very true madame

[@jennytaylor4165]

"Things don't get right until the truth comes out." ~ Diane Ladd

[@curiouschokra7077]

Thank you sire

[@mackycabangon8945]

3:30 Totally true. One time I went to school, but since I am European, I was obsessed with Eurovision. My classmates were Europeans too. Then, rather than talk about my true opinion (Eurovision) I went the other direction. I sometimes slapped my self when I sang Eurovision songs in school. I deprived myself from rewards simply because I was singing a Eurovision song. I treated myself as a tool. My objective was to stop singing and liking Eurovision by associating it with a punishment (no reward). And I am extremely emotional-sensitive. So I used this to my advantage. To make me associate singing, and liking Eurovision with a punishment. I am predicted to hate Eurovision next year. However, singing Eurovision songs actually calms me down, leaving me twice as more stressful. That does not even take account the pressure to not just change the "shell" of my brain (my actions) but also the "core" of my brain (my opinions and knowledge). This makes me more sad and angry than you see.

[@gustinex]

second day into 2017 and I'm still dead inside

[@mohammadmohd113]

an odd orange-colored, smushed, bloated, loud, annoying chocolate bar is what i got.

[@soslothful]

One grows accustomed to that feeling.

What do you mean?

Yes, it seems so, I'd like to know if there's a known reason for it and maybe help a little bit.

[@gustinex]

I guess you can say I've been in shitty situations too many times that I no longer care about life or trying to be happy anymore

[@Jaaziar]

This is an attack to us procrastinators you're rude and i don't care about getting my schoolwork done xd

[@camilohiche4475]

procastinating rules :)

[@timcook3410]

Giantepik R thats infact being true to yourself if u r not passionate about what they teach u at school.

[@nobody-bb4di]

ElPaisa Can't we do it next year?

[@adeshpoz1167]

@@nobody-bb4di Bro. IT'S next year now. Ready?

[@aliosm.v7231]

This video revealed so many things I have been unconsciously doing Yet I don't feel the discomfort that I often felt when a truth is shown. I felt empathy and understanding and unexpectedly motivated to change my POV

[@emaeddie8181]

It's easier to lie to myself than faced with the ugly sad truth about mostly everything that I am and am not! Everything I lack and every time I let my guards down for someone It hurts to the max and the pain carries on and I can only lie to bare all this pain within this tired body

[@chosensamurott4907]

This is what ive been looking for. Im tired of people saying DONT GIVE UP JUST LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. No find a way to deal with ur problems. I love you The School Life

[@albtoulabdullah8296]

is it okay that I'm crying while watching this?

[@theschooloflifetv]

Very much OK...

[@RedEarthAA]

It's your soul realising some truths, whilst your conscious tries to cover it over. Deep breaths. Realise this is a sign to change.

[@BQWETCHIL]

This channell has the healthiest remedies .. cry reflect identify and move foward to a new life

[@TeraMangala]

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

[@buttermuffin3752]

I gave up on lying to myself, precisely because I realised I was just showing myself from pain, but I have never been sadder than I am now. I feel more complete and true to myself than I ever was, but also more sad than I have ever felt.

[@lesleysmith9122]

School of life, you have been a massive part of the reason that I am still here today. I was removed from my home at an early age and raised myself. I never got any sort of advice or anything about anything. I sought refuge in self help books... some were helpful, but these videos have been exceptionally so. Where do you go when you never had anyone to teach you about life? Or when you have never experienced unconditional love? Well I think these SOL videos have been an exceptionally wonderful start. LOVE YOU GUYS!

[@dothedeed]

A few years ago I developed a random twitch on the corner of the right side of my face. Your subconscious will not be silenced or ignored forever.

[@igorhiperactivo2446]

To admit a lie is to bare ourselves naked, but there is no better way to pride and mature ourselves then to get naked in the mirror. For that is who we are.

[@bryanenzu8579]

Holy shit! I was hesitant to watch the video because I foolishly believed that I knew everything about self-deception, but this ended being one of the most revealing pieces of information I have received in years!

[@thepolishlatinofromphilly9709]

I've been struggling with very personal problems for a year now. I'm still struggling to be at peace with myself because I'm just now learning to be honest with myself. I came to an epiphany recently that I am the person I lie to the most. I'm starting to learn who I am, and I don't like the person I didn't know I was. I thought to look up videos about how we lie to ourselves. Thank you for making this video. I think it will help.

[@daniels.os.]

School fo Life, you are truly a freaking awesome wisdom. Thanks, thanks, thanks.

[@gabrielletenorio2438]

I LOVE this channel. It's my favorite on youtube. Thank you so much for making all this content available and in such a didatic and pleasant way! :)

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks so much Gabrielle.

[@BQWETCHIL]

Me too

[@marybritneya.atillo1155]

I cry when I realize more things in these videos than what I realize at school. I love it so much ❤️

[@gperson1967]

It’s good to listen to your close friends and partners. Often when we are close we can see what’s wrong in the people we love. It’s a bitter pill, but acknowledge it and put it to use. This is something I need to do more of!

[@tomwwabo9246]

3 hours ago i talked with a psychiatrist about this topic. I introduced him to your channel. I think he will love you :)

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks very much Tom.

[@idk-xs5nz]

I will face my personal issues... Tomorrow!

[@kingsfan4life2]

This might be the best channel on KZbin. In a world that Is so shallow and disconnected it reinforces us to listen and pay attention to our needs! Good stuff

[@Gray1995.]

I have been trying to ignore something, lying to myself and saying that I don't care but I actually do. this video made me realize this and confront myself, thank you.

[@TheBurg229]

Book recommendation related to this video: "Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)" Delves even deeper and is definitely worth the read to spot this behavior in ourselves and others.

[@curiouschokra7077]

Thank you sire

[@absolutamentenadie9690]

You should do a video about how not to lie to ourselves, happy new year and keep doing the got job

[@tricks177]

Thanks for the wisdom! I often lie to myself and others in order to fit in....I keep saying things like "I'm not perfect" and "I'm no better than anyone else". After watching this, I know those things aren't true, and I owe to myself and the people around me not to lie anymore! Thanks School of Life!

[@HugDealer]

This is one of my absolute favorite videos. I love all videos of The School of Life but this in particular is just SO good and wise!!!!

[@CormacHolland]

I have a huge problem with this. I understand it now, but I don't know how to fix it :/

[@GoldFishNL]

What would you wan't to fix ? I stopped lying to myself years ago, you could say I'm an expert :P

[@CormacHolland]

DocuCentre I always tell myself I have enough time to do something and put it off until later, and then it always bites me in the ass later

[@GoldFishNL]

Fuck, that's like one of the only things I haven't fully mastered yet, but lately I have been improving on it a TON. My problem has to do with youtube, its such a tease to do "just one more" video and than I go study. What I found out is pretty amazing, its that if you decide that you will quit youtube for just 1 minute and go do what you should do and tell your self that you can return to youtube after only one minute. Once you start it, you are not even in the mood to return to youtube, I can go study for hours. But the only thing that is hard is making the step to do it ( often because the thing you should do seems so big or hard ) But it often easier and more fun than you think it is. If you can just START doing it for even 1 second and shut down your pc, knowing that you can turn on the pc any time you want it feels like there is a weight of your shoulders and you don't even want to turn back. I like reading over KZbin, but KZbin is easier/more comfortable and that is what humans seek. Its the prospect of reading for hours over youtube that seems so unappealing, but once you just start doing it you don't want to turn back, untill you start doing youtube again thenext day haha. I hope this will help.

[@Fluxquark]

Cormac Holland Keep reminding yourself that you are inexorably moving closer towards death and every second you waste is a second you could have spent making your mark upon the world. :)

[@MeggieWeggie2435]

Therapy is a pretty good idea if you're looking for a place to start :)

[@tanzeelamariam1356]

This scares me! Cause it's just so true.

[@cordman]

This channel is probably one of the most intelligent and helpful form of media I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Thank you.

[@taoyeahright]

I feel more sympathy, maybe some sadness and definitely more compassion toward myself and others when you point out this unfortunate truth.

[@BarisUnver]

2:56 "that beautiful student" SOMEONE'S GOT A CRUUUUSSSHHH

[@saif9amar417]

to tell the Truth is the biggest problem....it will make everything collapse. ...to lie and not to tell the Truth is the benediction of all blessings

[@Sampson2012bot]

Thank you so much for making this. I have been slowly learning this of myself and wondered how many other people are out there unaware of what they are actually doing. I am starting a process of stomping out this old ideas wherever and whenever I can. Thank you again.

[@poojapatole3573]

I love this channel. I have lied to myself a lot of times and now i know the reason. Thanks a lot ! Time to work on myself.

[@EpreTroll]

This video is more about being self-critical.

[@Eyesayah]

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man'. Famous as it is, I'd rather hear '... one will not wish to be false to others'. I think you are right about it being about being self critical. It seems common to assert that it is ultimately more wonderful to accept being just what you are. It seems though, since the serpent in the garden of Eden, people are burdened by the desire to be more than what they are, perhaps even in their own eyes.

[@lambusaab]

The only thing I ask of God is to give me the courage to face who I am.

[@ernestpatrickzaragoza2702]

I'm truly grateful for the creation of this video. It struck me at the point when I really need it. Once again, I have regained my own sanity :)

[@CaptainOfTheLostWaves]

The narration has such an all enveloping warmth in its delivery and rhythm, that this often feels like ' audio hot chocolate ' .... a soothing gift for the soul x

[@aaronkim8112]

In other words we all need some sort of professional counseling and therapy. In order to have a sober mind to evaluate our thought-patterns, behaviors, and subconscious thoughts that somehow deviate from having a more realistic perception of ourselves. In turn, we not only immerse ourselves in our distractions and delusional standards but project them on others thinking they should be ideally met without own personal unmet needs and desires. I think we all just need enough humility to admit we're all very insecure, self-conscious, and having feelings of inadequacy in certain areas. I do this all the time, and i have to learn to realize and have keen awareness that people want to feel loved for who they are. But with an ever growing society the cultural ideas and standards that seem to grow ever so demanding, we try to measure our personal worth and value in things that are vain pursuits of trying to maintain an image of self perfection. We need to really self-examine ourselves, and have complete humility in order to address issues of our unresolved past or present circumstances without feeling the stigma of feeling ashamed or labeled as cynical or apathetic individuals. It's a life long process - and those who are content and satisfied with settling for less than ideal, are inevitably going to encounter happiness because they no longer entrust themselves to others or society's standards that seem to fluctuate and change, but a contentment based on own conviction, beliefs, and values that is relative to our humanity or innate ability to love, and potentially grow from experiences. We can transcend misleading ideological delusions of trying to validate ourselves in things that people conventionally deem worth their time. It's a constant struggle and truly do need to wrestle with our hearts to find that peace.

[@naosarang7265]

Theophilus i agree i think we all need to learn more about ourselves and how we think and feel or at least accept all the feels you feel even if you don't agree with them accept the thought but don't take action i love your comment♡

[@naosarang7265]

Theophilus i agree i think we all need to learn more about ourselves and how we think and feel or at least accept all the feels you feel even if you don't agree with them accept the thought but don't take action i love your comment♡

[@penelopeskye5056]

My mom put me on therapy since I was 14 and it hasn't helped me at all.

[@Slechy_Lesh]

Sorry to hear that Penelope. I voluntarily went to therapy and it did me much good. I hear that a lot of people didn't get this experience though.

[@naosarang7265]

I am sorry to hear that as well penelope i really hope you find something.

[@likeanuke8605]

Hey Theschooloflife, I really enjoy your video's it helps me out a lot. they are really fun to watch but also informative. But to be honest I think I sometimes miss the point on certain important subjects. So could you at the end of the video give a short summary of what the central idea is? Keep up the good work!

[@beth_9214]

Wow, loved it!!! I don't to sound snob, but I know somebody that lies to himself, I've tried to awake him up, to show alternatives that things were possible, that he could do it, but he didn't listen, the fear of pain and losing, the sense of being ungrateful somehow was bigger than his own knowledge and courage to change his habits (like smoking) and to break with old traditions that many people like him are already breaking and are now living happy!!! Lying to yourself is the saddest thing somebody could do, it doesn't bring any good!!! 😢😢😢

[@Dizzinator2114]

the latter part of 16' I confronted my self on this very topic, and it has done wonders for me emotionally, and mentally.

[@manoj9596]

Please make a video on PTSD and how can one overcome it!!

[@George-vx1qe]

prolonged exposure

[@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446]

But you know honesty also has it's price, standing by and staying true to my situation often left me standing alone and staying quiet in the end...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@albertocruz353]

mephistopheles the silent chief Have you read the play, The Crucible? It is such an amazing play that deals with the topic of honesty and standing up for what is right. I would say that it really changed my life forever because I found out that telling the truth is always the right way. You don't need the support of others to know that something is true because the truth will always be the truth no matter who agrees with you. In the greatest search for the truth, people like you are NEEDED to make the world a better place. That's not an opinion. That's a fact. So keep moving forward because you'll never be truly alone as long as there's people like you and I who are searching for the truth. :)

[@aaronsanders6162]

mephistopheles the silent chief it also got Ned Stark killed lol

[@collan3027]

Thank you for these videos they have given me a new, more scientific way of approaching self understanding and self acceptance. These videos have helped me to identify self loathing and has given me strategies to love myself.

[@kazkaz6177]

Your therapeutic and calming voice relaxes me every time...... Kind thanks x

[@Motavian]

I liked how your "censorious" character wore pearls.

[@theschooloflifetv]

We loved that touch by our animator. Thanks for watching.

[@romansekej8414]

This touch went completely over my head..what is so special about it? Can someone explain?

[@ThadRobosson]

Roman Sekej, I believe they're referring to the fact that this particular character was the one being judgmental regarding sexuality. The pearl necklace is a nod in the direction of 'deviant' Sexual behavior. (Not that I find that particular act incredibly deviant... Don't judge me.)

[@gypsypoi]

Thad Robosson I thought of it as sort of a caricature of a proper lady "clutching her pearls in horror" but I like your interpretation. It's funnier!

[@CallOfBrawl]

King to peasant: "You're weak" Peasant: "No I'm not! I'm a human being just as you are!" King: "Stop lying to yourself" Peasant: "..." Sometimes we lie to ourselves, because of others attempting to diagnose the truth in us for their own self-interests.

[@iKruju]

This is so well put together :0 Without a doubt one of my favourite videos of this channel !

[@dpoisonedburritos]

Smashing that like button. Thank you school of life for existing. You are so awesome!

[@alicebell]

I like this series but one thing concerns me. When you say “we condemn certain kinds of sexual tastes as deviant and beyond the pale *because* we deep down share them” it’s relativisation of actual sexual deviance, which exists and it hurts many people, especially women and children. For example sexual sadism and paedophilia. You are talking about reaction formation here, and that definitely exists, for example some people who are sexually repressed will exaggerate negative effects of sexual promiscuity, while wishing deep down they themselves could engage in it, but the key word is *exaggerating*. There are too many examples of society being gaslighted by real, dangerous perverts, and the objectors to what is obviously a deviant behaviour being shamed as “pearl clutching prudes” that led to a lot of tragedy, such as serial sexual abuse within certain industries, grooming gangs, institutionalised sexual abuse of children etc. How do you think all these sinister perverts get away with their behaviour in front of everyone? Because people don’t want to be labelled prudes for speaking out against it. So yeah, it concerns me how off-handedly it was implied in this video that any objection to someone’s sexual tastes is a reaction formation rather than possibly a valid concern.

[@poojars5594]

💯💯

[@dsanchez6626]

I was about to say something like this.

[@damienscullytoo]

This is to a tee of how i feel. I'm 18 and Just recently did i come out as gay to my parents. Its a lie i've been hiding for half of my life. I never thought i felt safe to come out given my parents political views which i misinterpreted. These were things i'd constantly do and just 3 days ago i become aware of them, before i always blamed it on something else.Despite constant reassurances by my parents that they love me i feel this sense of false guilt that im only now starting to get over. I Know that with time and compassion these feelings, mainly the weird sensation in my chest, will go away but sometimes my impatience gets the best of me.

[@theschooloflifetv]

We wish you so well - and thanks for stopping by.

[@SFSylvester]

Congratulations on coming out.

[@KaleunMaender77]

Radioactive Snake You're EIGHTEEN and just came out. Count your blessings it wasn't a lie you'd be forced to peddle for forty or fifty years.

[@whosafraidoferiknrding4470]

Kudos to you for having the courage to come out.

[@damienscullytoo]

KaleunMaender77 Exactly, i was hoping i could come out when i was away from the house. Im glad i came out sooner than later

[@thevinve1593]

This reinforced the idea that things I complain about repeatedly are often things I do

[@douglasrobertson4532]

One of your best!You guys are one of the most positive sources on the internet.

[@aesops_daughter]

Thank you for this video. It helps me a lot. Could you please do a video on toxic people/relationships?

[@theschooloflifetv]

We will try - and thanks very much for watching.

[@aesops_daughter]

The School of Life Thank you!! 💜

[@f00ky3w2oob]

How about a follow up video with how to deal with these lies we tell ourselves? I fit in to way too many of these.

[@boguard7882]

This is so on point! Best video ever. Im so happy I stumbled across this channel.

[@JOKBO1]

I'm glad I have watched almost all of your videos. Whenever I need some therapy, I know which ones to look at. Thank you The School Of Life, I should visit you guys next month.

[@charlotte6484]

But, how do we know when we're lying to ourselves? Is it possible to lie without even realizing it? How can we avoid this problem?

[@horizon5677]

Charlotus stay silent. and if you can, write how you are feeling and what you are feeling. write questions to yourself with honest answers

[@TayPetracek]

I wonder how enlightened this narrator is -- he's always reading some heavy shit

[@scrm3377]

This is a topic in which I have been thinking recently, and then you upload this amazing video. Keep doing this, I really appreciate your content.

[@thebvrnays7298]

Thank you for this. This needs to be shared everywhere.

[@ibrahimseck3609]

Your voice is like ASMR therapy xD

[@blingximus]

This was hard to watch.

[@KarmaPolica]

And translate and understand in English

[@tyh1511]

OMG this is so true! And these are so common in a lot of youths that I see today and which I usually associate them as being insecure

[@paulryan3137]

I felt like I was holding my breath throughout this video. I've been seeing recently that I've lied to myself a lot, and that in itself is difficult to face up to.

[@BrandonSLockey]

The lies that apply to me are denigration, censoriousness, cynicism and despair lol

[@QuigonJoel]

Good information. I wonder if it would be too much to ask you to cite your sources during these videos so they gain more credibility. Although it sounds very scholarly (with fantastic narration BTW) I'd like to see or hear the sources where your information comes from. Thoughts? @theschooloflife

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks; we will consider this for 2017. Do also look at our chief source: www.thebookoflife.org

[@aaronsanders6162]

Joel Coward what’s there to site lol? You need some old asshole to validate all your ideas for you?

[@rachel2473]

I LOVE FINDING OUT IM WRONG! LEARNING THE TRUTH IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

[@Pixel1962]

I try not to lie to anyone but myself (that takes up a LOT of time) but greater self-awareness has made me realise that I do this. I’m “working the problem.”