Saying two things at the same time: YouTube Comments Edition

[@MasterArchfiend]

Someone needs to figure out how to make fan art of that last one. Matt Rose as a rat dressed as Moses.

[@Spongyboi897]

Mickey Rose

[@Matt_Rose]

Will definitely be retweeting at least one Rat Moses fan art I receive.

[@OkayIW]

​@@Matt_Roseyes if i see rat moses i will freak out

[@Banana_Fusion]

yes.

[@helloolleh_dis]

I would love to see it "rat mose"

[@silverrraven5349]

honestly, "my tongue is twerking," "my main is having a breltdown," and "i cried my balls out" all totally convey the intended messages

[@leem216]

fr

[@emberjaaas]

ta

[@eyesicecold]

frta

[@schnargleton25]

frat

[@serimus]

Could also say, my tongue is tweaking.

[@weegee-hehehe]

I was wishing my dad a good flight while he was off to flying practice. I tried to yell "Have a good flight" and "Good luck" and accidentally yelled "HAVE A GOOD FUCK!"

[@Bubblegum-Cupcake]

Do you mean Good or Goof?

[@lumieas]

LOL

[@Doodlesoak]

Lmaooo

[@tyttuut]

Ouch

[@danzstuff]

oh fuck

[@richardmillhousenixon]

Ok but if my friend slapped my leg and proceeded to say "It's a leg!," I wouldn't be able to stop laughing

[@ellabennett6091]

Agreed. I'm kinda tempted to actually just do that next time I see my friend.

[@xoxablade8345]

Why is this something my friends would do on purpose thoughhhh

[@LILYPAD2763]

I started laughing so hard at that because I know this girl who would most definitely do that

[@uselessinformation1988]

Imagine how embarrassing it was for the friend.

[@stardewofpyrrhia4381]

Same 😂😂😂 I’m gonna do that now

[@ej_makesvideos]

Imagine the waiter randomly saying “Hepatitis!” I would be so confused

[@xOrionNebula2708]

i wouldnt have eaten

[@roliam-y3k]

hepatitis.

[@Verdantixx]

@@roliam-y3k with a side of

[@H34RTS4nDC1vbS]

@@Verdantixxwaiter

[@Verdantixx]

@@H34RTS4nDC1vbS ah yes, cannabalism

[@neroisntdead3681]

Saying "Not bad" after hurting yourself feels like a power move

[@ayneeldesu2221]

The anime villain when half of his body is cut off

[@Man_Aslume]

I have no enemies basically

[@Lord_Of_The_WhoLock]

​@@ayneeldesu2221 dabi when he turned into a burnt rotisserie chicken:

[@Scaler97]

Underrated comment.

[@TheOne_6]

i did that once felt like a legend

[@MR-qi5lc]

Honestly "my main is having a breltdown" perfectly conveys the message

[@wave_gamess6287]

I know🤣

[@tanktank4057]

it gives "James Nond's having a stronk. Call a bondulance!" energy

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

I was struggling to understand my friend's school calendar, and I ended up saying "MY MAIN IS HAVING A BRELTDOWN!" and she looked at me with lots of concern and she said "are you going to have a seizure or a stroke soon?"

[@GuretoDaze]

​@@SamanthamusPrimeV28050 She understood that completely

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

@@GuretoDaze ok. Yeah. She did.

[@Csp499]

Saying "TAKE THE NIGHT WITH YOU" is a pretty metal way to see someone off for the evening, won't lie.

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

sounds like a song lyric

[@lemone630]

Unsure how he was meant to take Batman with him, but I'd love to see him try.

[@--Ads--]

My dad tried to call my mum "darling" and "babe" at the same time and confidently called her Dave

[@kookiehoda.official]

HJAJSHAHAGHA

[@FourDigits]

He accidentally used his side man’s name instead

[@LovelyLara123]

DAVE 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@REHEHEHEHEHEHp]

AHSKGHAFGSYUEIKNZBGSYUWIA LMAOOOOOOOOO

[@ratboygirl]

this is some shit i'd say

[@RadEmme]

Once I tried to say “sorry” and “‘scuse me” at the same time and ended up just saying “scary, scary” at the person walking past me like I was afraid of them.

[@JayEverdeenValentine]

LMAO. i think i may have heard you/someone say that while i actually was walking pas- WAIT WHAT DID YOU SAY THAT WHILE I WENT PAST YOU OMG.

[@Danpg79]

​@@JayEverdeenValentineWHOA-

[@chickendoodle32]

@@JayEverdeenValentine nah, you can't have done both this and the corner store interaction.

[@_ArmIa]

This one genuinely has me in fucking tears from laughter, thank you for scaring- I mean sharing

[@pinkroses135]

😂❤🤡👻

[@timnackson]

Once tried saying “I don’t care” and “I hate you” at the same time during a heated argument and it came out at “I don’t hair you” and that caused us both to laugh and calm down.

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

Laughter is a good medicine, they said. Apparently, it is true.

[@pixelzebra8440]

Yay so it helpef

[@pixelzebra8440]

*Helped I don’t feel like deleting my comment

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

@@pixelzebra8440 there is an editing thing. You hit the 3 dots, and there's more than 1 option. The following options are: Delete Edit Reply

[@vinnieee_]

​@@pixelzebra8440yk u can edit ur comment right?

[@LucieDoherty]

One time I tried to tell my grandma “Off you go” and “Travel well” and accidentally said “Off to hell!” She was not pleased.

[@xOrionNebula2708]

Lmao

[@IMTHINKINGMIKUMIKUOOOEEEOOO]

I actually laughed out loud

[@xOrionNebula2708]

@@IMTHINKINGMIKUMIKUOOOEEEOOO yea same

[@stefanieknickerbocker2855]

Sounds like you wanna go to the Hazbin Hotel

[@fordishotaf]

dude I laughed so hard I woke my sister up 💀

[@Lacey-bear]

I once tried saying “everybody be quiet” and “everyone stop screaming” and ended up saying… “everybody stop creaming”. In front of a bunch of little kids.

[@TRMofYT]

That is genuinely hilarious XD

[@jujudasouk8528]

I laughed so hard it unclogged my nose

[@Foxy_kat1111]

You have scared them for life!

[@picklejuice418]

@@jujudasouk8528 did it feel good tho-

[@HelenaVanCity]

Back in the day when I was teaching English (!) at a college in Russia, I wanted to jokingly say to my students, "I'm sick and tired of you guys," which came out as, "I'm thick and tired of you guys."

[@CoolLookinPea]

I love that half of these would be embarrassing to say to anyone you know and the other half can be solely defined as “ *mood* “

[@theguy1111]

"my mom's in the hospital" "im okay"

[@AuroraTheTherian45]

"I don't matter"

[@Oneissnart]

😂😂

[@Oxygen1004]

"Horny Slag"

[@eagletgriff]

"No its haouhrr"

[@Millers0n]

I was at the bakery and tried saying "I am ok" and "yes please" at the same time and ended up saying "I am pleasing" 💀

[@JayEverdeenValentine]

LOL WHAT 💀

[@echognomecal6742]

Ain't nothin like a lil random confidence ;)

[@Foxy_kat1111]

🤣🤣🤣 that is very sus!

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

I had a stroke while reading that.

[@Vanta526]

AMBATUPLEEZ

[@DavitTheCore]

My dad wanted to say "I'll take the garbage out and then I'll come back and eat dinner", but what came out was " I'll go out and eat the garbage". I will never forget the tone my mom had while she was saying "WHAT?!". 💀

[@Vanta526]

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[@Lunam_D._Roger]

Oh god, that could be a misunderstanding and a half. Especially if before this your mum just announced that she made dinner. As if your father would prefer to eat garbage lmao

[@DavitTheCore]

@@Lunam_D._Roger Well that is exactly what the situation was, although when my mom said "what" and my dad did the sound and face we all do when we say two things together accidentally, we all just started laughing extremely hard and it wasn't a big issue lmao.

[@lavieestbellexx]

This one made me LOSE IT I'm cackling 😂😂

[@banny-y1c]

garbage is delicious

[@redacted_user2868]

I tried to say "quit horsing around in the house" to my brothers. Instead I said: "quit horse housing". I still laugh about it to this day

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

I bet your brothers stopped and then started to laugh uncontrollably at that.

[@hypertoaster9961]

New saying acquired :D

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

Nay!

[@ashtonnn777]

I need to use this on the reg

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

That's the official term now

[@it-looks-like]

I worked at McDonald's years back and I tried to ask a lady "will that complete your order" and "is that all for you" and ended up saying "will that complete you" and she said "I am incomplete without my number 8" and honestly me too

[@buttonasas]

What's the number 8?

[@MangInutil]

​@@buttonasas Most likely an order number that cashiers give to you after ordering.

[@GoldenseatGaming]

@@MangInutil clearly its a menu item

[@veepocolypse]

@@buttonasas it’s what some fast food places do when some menu items are too long and just want to shorten it down

[@MangInutil]

@@GoldenseatGaming Now that I think about it, McDo's do have numbers to shorten orders

[@theusher2893]

One evening when walking with my 5 year old niece in our front yard, it was hazy out and a full moon. It looked like a solid white disc so I was going to point and say "special moon." I started to speak but felt a burp coming on fast, so it came out as "SPOON! BUURRRRP" She's now 17 and still doesn't let me live it down at Thanksgiving.

[@echognomecal6742]

You're the uncle we all dreamed of having...

[@HelenaVanCity]

Do you realize that you traumatized that innocent child for life? LMAO

[@echognomecal6742]

@@HelenaVanCity Nawww...that's fantastic that she can rib him about it...right up until his last breath, so to speak. HAHAHAHA! ...I'm...I'm going to hell...

[@theusher2893]

@echognomecal6742 We laughed about it then and we laugh about it now. It's just one of those fun little family in-jokes that we're lucky to have.

[@echognomecal6742]

​@@theusher2893 It's wonderful

[@Oddduckstudios]

Fell off a chair once. Tried to say I'm good and I'm okay. Ended up saying I'm gay.

[@lemonaunos]

i can picture this now *CRASH* Omg are you ok? I’m gay!

[@C2-jkbj]

@@lemonaunoshi ok i’m gay

[@LarryTheTugaGamer1511]

​@somedinguswholikesteaHi, Gay, I'm Dad!

[@cringeyum702]

I tried to say “I’m serious” and “I’m being real” at the same time so I ended up just aggressively yelling “IM SURREAL”

[@KingdomKey-ik4xk]

*In my best impression of Ryuji Sakamoto* Surreal?!

[@AllytheGumby]

why is that so wholesome for some reason

[@MAGMABEARREAL]

bro is so SURREAL

[@SolarrStars263_Alt]

well, are you?

[@Charmellius]

I read that and it came out as me cereal

[@PsychoMuppet123]

I once was talking to a friend after she ran into her teacher in public, and started to say "I hate seeing people I know in public" and accidently started to say "I hate peeing seeple I know in public" and because THAT would be embarrassing I stopped to correct myself. Unfortunately, I started giggling hysterically before I could finish and all my poor friend heard was "I hate peeing" followed by uncontrollable laughter

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

I was reading this comment out loud and accidentally did an artistic recreation... I fold, you win the Internet...

[@NonSoSmartPerson]

@@FriskDrinksBrisk You peed? Good job man 👍

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

@@NonSoSmartPerson no I only got to I hate peeing

[@k4ttz528]

Do you ever just hate peeing?😭😭

[@nofootprint5629]

I giggled at this so hard I hurt myself

[@melodypond4457]

Once when I was little I was making a bulletin board with my parents for church and I accidentally said "shinier" and "prettier" at the same time, what came out was "We gotta make it more shittier!!" It's been 15 years and they haven't let me live it down.

[@GNARPY_GNARPINGTON]

Is it shittier now

[@objectshowfan362]

I'm convinced that they'll never let you live it down. Even if it was accidental.

[@Valistor]

Couldn't decide if I should say "Hi" or "Hello" to a customer and ended up letting out a long "heeeee". It was awkward.

[@carolekelly2688]

(Michel jackson voice)

[@KingdomKey-ik4xk]

Same energy as my "have an aaaaaaa" when I worked at a Hornbacher's. 🤣

[@Not_A_Big_Fan]

Sounds like when your Wii crashes

[@NotAFemboy7]

id just leave, if i was either, just "bye"

[@theresahaironthescreen]

I have no idea how long I have been sitting here trying to figure out the absolute perfect joke to make about some 70s anime I heard about a while back. I'll just say episode 4 and leave it at that. I give up.

[@TRMofYT]

One time I tried to say "How are your children" and "what's for dinner" simultaneously and I ended up saying "Are your children for dinner?"

[@TGNTeaorcoffee]

This one is the winner.

[@hadeyhade]

were they for dinner though

[@TRMofYT]

No@@hadeyhade they had macaroni and cheese

[@rare10124]

​@@TRMofYTthe fact you replied to this comment makes it more hilarious

[@TRMofYT]

That was the point.@@rare10124 And everyone says I'm not funny at school and at home so I'm glad at least someone finds me funny.

[@tunkytunky]

I once went to McDonald's and wanted to order both Filet-o- fish and a chicken sandwich. I ended up asking the guy if I could have Chick Fil-A 😂

[@laurenouellette6592]

Sir, this is a Wendy's

[@jwalster9412]

Down the street, to the left.

[@Youraverageyoutubeaccount]

Mood

[@chelseasheehan9227]

To be fair, chick-Fil-A is delicious

[@WuhHuh]

@@jwalster9412next to the shadow realm but don’t worry, only jimbo can go there

[@Kagira2006]

Once I was telling some friends how nice a forest was today and the conversation went something like this: "Yeah, it's really nice. The sun shining through the trees, not too windy, you got the uh... the... Burping Chirds." "...Are you ok?" "I MEANT CHIRPING BIRDS"

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

It's a dutiful bay outside Chirds are burping Blowers are flooming On tays like dis Tongues like mine SHOULD BE TWERKING

[@avastoyboxandarcade]

Reminds me of when my mom tried to say "attacking of the sharks" but it came out as "ashacking of the tarks" we still laugh about it

[@alexplaysandedits2356]

Why are the Chirds burping? Why are the tards ashacking!? I need answers!

[@RestlessHarp]

That's incredible, I needed that laugh today 😂😂 And the response "Are you ok?" somehow makes it even better 😂

[@CHkInull-l4g]

7:17 matt looks like an alcoholic dad coming back from work

[@NavyNorthStar18]

He’s an alcoholic cat dad coming back from recording videos, so same thing

[@LAyersFur]

Now an alcoholic dad coming back from recording videos, ​@@NavyNorthStar18

[@The_One_Who_Knocks.0]

"Be closed" is probably actually the best way to tell somebody to shut up

[@AtticusKarpenter]

In Russian we actually say "Close yourself!" as one of the ways to tell "Shut up!' so yep

[@SolarrStars263_Alt]

best response to "shut up"? *" **_up can't shut_** "*

[@zaraiigacha]

*_"hush"_*

[@ZoeZparkles]

Imma start using that

[@alexplaysandedits2356]

I just say "Cease."

[@katielinzie7444]

At work a few weeks ago, my supervisor told me to wait a minute while he asked another employee a question. I was trying to say “No worries” and “I’ve got time” at the same time and I ended up saying, “NO TIME!” Nailed it. 😂

[@Jaeminswife22]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@doggo2424]

-+-=+ i guess

[@eebydeebyz]

;-; time to get fired

[@medicinepocketIRL]

I remember one night I was so tired that my brain was scrambled and I tried to say "Sorry, I'm not thinking straight" while also asking my sister to go get a pack of Oreos for me. What ended up coming out was "Sorry, would you- can- mind- think.. Oreos?"

[@Asterion_Mol0c]

I think you conveyed the first one

[@BeagleBageler]

Can mind think? No. Oreos!

[@el-nathan]

@@BeagleBageler me cannot think, me must have oreos NOW ooga booga

[@gamingcookiereal]

no mind to think. no oreos to eat.

[@theelementalgamer5910]

@@gamingcookiereal No voice to cry for sleep.

[@crystalprism8913]

I worked retail at my old job, I was trying to say "Are you a member?" But I ended up saying "Are you a Mother?" Thank the HIGH HEAVENS she was.

[@chagito1113]

Once someone asked me "What is one of your pet peeves" and I tried to say "When someone tells you to do something but you were about to do it" but then I like fused the whole sentence somehow and said "When you're about to someone"

[@isakandre]

Very epik

[@blixten635real]

As a someone, I’m totally about to

[@christinahamilton7676]

I don't like it when I'm about to someone either.

[@alejandrogonzalezakamintyt2242]

As someone about to, I felt this

[@isakandre]

@@blixten635real blow

[@macngeeseyt6029]

Matt is the most underrated personality on the internet.

[@jordancambridge4106]

Its Rat Moses.

[@martychisnall]

Be closed

[@wilh3lmmusic]

He has 700k subs, “underrated” my ass

[@Literelchild21]

ah yes

[@Pinkywinkykinky]

I dunno, I think people love ENTP's /hj

[@jaydeepaquette1022]

"Squeesh" sounds like a sort of affectionate word for tightly hugging your precious cat/fur baby after you haven't seen them in a while and you've missed them terribly.

[@wild.berryz]

it really does though

[@jaydeepaquette1022]

Me, walking in the door after a long absence away: ""I WANNA SQUEESH MY LITTLE FLOOF-BABY!!"" xD@@wild.berryz

[@trynottohappen]

That's what I say to my dad (he's a little on the heavier side) and I go to poke his stomach

[@KiriChan99]

Me, who already says "squeesh" all the time (especially about my fur babies

[@snakegirl6289]

That’s actually how I’ve been using it

[@samcurtis6590]

Someone held the door for me once and I went to say "cheers" and "thank you" at the same time. I said "chank" and promptly removed myself

[@alexplaysandedits2356]

"Chank!" Walking away like nothing happened.

[@NotAFemboy7]

i miss read that...

[@susannerudolph8469]

"chank!" *desintigrates*

[@acgaming007]

@@NotAFemboy7 What'd you read?

[@NotAFemboy7]

@@acgaming007 ch as sh 🤣🤣🤣

[@RedPandaKT]

One time a coworker and I were talking about Pokemon champion fights, and I tried to say Cynthia "wiped the floor with me" and "kicked my ass" at the same time. Ended up confidently declaring "Oh yeah, Cynthia wiped my ass." That coworker has never looked at me the same way again. I am haunted.

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

Still Haunted? Or are you Gengar'd at this point?

[@satanslittleprince]

the fact that my name irl is Cynthia

[@RedPandaKT]

@@FriskDrinksBrisk I'd go as far as to say I'm Mega Gengar'd, honestly

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

@@satanslittleprince and your channel name's gonna take FOREVER to unpack. I don't have that long, so don't worry bout it friendo.

[@Orange_Swirl]

​@@satanslittleprinceWhy'd you wipe their ass, Cynthia?

[@potatoavalanche360]

I once was buying some chips at the local corner store. After paying for them, the cashier said: “Would you like you receipt?”. I tried to say “I’m okay” and “I’m good at the same time and ended up proclaiming “IM GAY” It still haunts me to think about how everyone just stared at me afterwards.

[@JayEverdeenValentine]

LMAO IM SO SORRY I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT WAS YOU WHO SAID THAT. and ye sorry for awkwardly starrng.

[@echognomecal6742]

Nice work right there, @@JayEverdeenValentine :D See that OP? You're bringing happiness & social interaction into the word. The jerks have already forgotten & moved on to being busybodies in someone else's life.

[@Foxy_kat1111]

Are u gay though? (It’s ok to be gay)

[@HelenaVanCity]

Well, the place you chose for your coming out is a tad unusual, but 10/10 for the courage! LOL

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

You gave yourself emotional damage???

[@glitterb0nez]

will never forget when my brother pissed me off over something trivial and i tried to say "count your days" and "your days are numbered" at the same time. ended up telling him to "count your numbers." he still makes fun of me for it 😭

[@WindowBreakerCharlie]

he was giving you advice for school

[@gr_pefxnta]

this is my favorite one😭

[@ganicc4782]

Quick reminder to count your numbers

[@Mizu2023]

Count your numbers!

[@-mittensradio-2171]

this is like in band class when our director tried to tell us to “number your measures” and told us to “measure your numbers,” and now that we’ve all made fun of her for so long about it she keeps doing it on accident cause it in her brain

[@itzoriegamingyt7064]

Once I was trying to tell my teacher that she “wrote the question wrong” but last second I decided it was best to say “their was a mistake in the the sentence.” I ended up saying “You are the mistake in question” She stared at me while I scrambled to explain She laughed and said it’s fine. She has forever been my favorite teacher

[@maltewernerwoiske]

*there

[@rosykindbunny1313]

Can we just appreciate how much effort Rat Moses puts into his videos?

[@a-random._account1]

Matt Rose*

[@rosykindbunny1313]

@@a-random._account1 Have you watched the last part of the video?

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

I was about to say "are you me?" And " am I you? " and aloud I said: "am I me?"

[@rosykindbunny1313]

@@FriskDrinksBrisk Despite everything, it is you.

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

@@rosykindbunny1313 hmm...

[@QueenBeluga]

I tried to tell my dad his shorts had gotten in the water, while thinking about the phrase “up the wazzoo” and ended up shouting in front of about 20 children with their parents at a water park “ DAD, WATER IS COMING OUT OF YOUR WAZZOO!!!!” It’s still a running joke in the family to this day

[@wave_gamess6287]

I laughed so hard my mom asked what’s wrong with me😂

[@JaxonBellve]

WAZZOO! is the crashbandicoot spin kick sound

[@Foxy_kat1111]

WHAT THE HECK!?!? (Omg are you really belu-queen!?)

[@stuffenjoyer6677]

The true mashup right there

[@pixelzebra8440]

💀

[@eddieravenwood]

i went through a very unfortunate (though mercifully brief) phase where i would try to say both "no problem" and "yep", and ended up consistently replying to "thank you" with a cheerful "nope!"

[@calibricalypso]

For some reason this comment in particular reminded me of the chunk of my teenage years where I tried to say "bless you" and "gesundheit" at the same time when someone sneezed and would unfailingly say "blessundheit" every. Fucking. Time. I hated it so much

[@ElmKyh]

Solution: Tell the other person that it's how people say "no problem" nowadays and that they're outdated (That way you don't have to deal with the shame as much)

[@MandMs05]

@@calibricalypso I'm going to start saying "Blessundheit" on purpose now

[@King_James_1andLonely]

Reminds me of the time in middle school where I wanted to stop saying “fuck” so much and tried to replace it with “frick” - and would consistently loudly curse “FRUCK” every goddamn time. I kid you not, this continued for about a year. It was incredibly embarrassing at the time and I eventually just gave up seeing as it was physically impossible for me to stop.

[@calibricalypso]

@@MandMs05 Have fun, lol

[@magnuskarlkjerulf]

My brother once tried to say something "hurts his brain" and "hurts his head" at the same time. Ended up saying "Finnish grammar hurts my bread"

[@GippyHappy]

_”My main is having a brelt down” has now entered your vocabulary. This action is irreversible._

[@staceyp085]

Same with ’squeesh'

[@TheOne_6]

oh cool

[@o07t28]

we need more of Matt awkwardly acting out these hilarious interactions on poor strangers

[@Moss_Dude]

@@namantherockstar That's unfortunate, KZbin doesn't have followers. No new camera for you I guess.

[@DatFrogGuy]

greatest entertainer bellow me

[@Matt_Rose]

There's already a sizable list of establishments it's now too awkward for me to return to 💀

[@Spongyboi897]

YESSSSSS

[@EggManJoe420]

​@@DatFrogGuyYour not wrong.

[@ryaphloshion1322]

One of my favorite parts of these videos is that not only do they mix up words, some of them unintentionally yell it out, as if the word/sentence amalgam didn’t make things awkward enough already

[@lightpinkstrawberrys]

One time I forgot the word utensils and said “Can I have my… uh eating tools?” I am so glad I was at a friend’s house and not a restaurant.

[@lesleyedgley8371]

I had the same problem, but only needed a fork. I WAS in a restaurant and asked for an "eating weapon."

[@lightpinkstrawberrys]

@@lesleyedgley8371 welp, good luck to you-

[@MarsMorales-bv6en]

why didnt you just say silver wear

[@jeremydb8954]

⁠Because silver doesn’t wear anything.

[@lightpinkstrawberrys]

@@jeremydb8954 I love dad jokes lol-

[@We_Are_Not_Cool]

One time I tried saying “I’m for real sorry.” And “I’m really sorry.” At the same time and ended up saying “I’m Ferrari.”

[@VanadiumMC]

On a scale of 1-10, how Ferrari are you at this moment?

[@KaanCan-hx9oq]

Hi Ferrari, im Lamborghini

[@TheOne_6]

@@VanadiumMC i'd say a solid 3

[@VanadiumMC]

@@TheOne_6 Ahh, well I think I'm about a 9

[@TheOne_6]

@@VanadiumMC nice

[@unableto_accessaddi8710]

One time I was talking to my friend in the hallway and I tried to ask "how did the test go?" And "was the test okay?" And ended up saying "TESTICLE."

[@tacos5682]

Peak comedy

[@XxAbbyandBrysonGachaxX-iw9rh]

I agree

[@tacos5682]

@@XxAbbyandBrysonGachaxX-iw9rh I’m glad you agree

[@alexplaysandedits2356]

Oh gosh.

[@banny-y1c]

*walks up to friend* TESTICLE.

[@lacountess]

Once in art school one of my classmates who I had barely ever talked to was drawing a complicated scene on an extremely long, rolled out piece of paper. I wanted to comment on it saying "Your paper is so long," while thinking "Your design is too hard," and it came out as, "Your penigh is so long and hard." He stopped drawing and stared at me for five seconds before we both started laughing.

[@Nutella2004]

🤨 📸

[@pinkroses135]

You're not getting my markers for free Larry

[@Wereinthistogether-k3v]

cap 🔥

[@lolfool866]

Yeah no those sentences combined would not make anything near that. This is clearly fake.

[@lacountess]

@@lolfool866 Sure, I forgot you were living in my head at the time and know what two sentences I was thinking about and how they were supposed to come together. 🙄😒 Get over yourself. This happened over twenty years ago. I may not remember the exact sentences that created the funny line, but the line itself produced such a comedic moment that I won't forget it.

[@elijah7430]

My boyfriend's friend was very not sober and tried to say "Hold on a second now, believe me!" and "Hold on a second, don't say anything now" He just yelled, very excitedly; "Hold on a second now!!! Don't believe me now!!"

[@iristhorne6521]

My mom once, while we were making cookies, told my dad that he needs to “cream together the bugger” instead of “we need to mix together the cream and butter”.

[@talesofnelda]

This made me laugh so hard that I was laughing at how hard I was laughing. Then I started laughing again while trying to drink some water and nearly choked on it.

[@TheOne_6]

i swear this comment section is gonna make me die of laughter

[@strxww..berrxx]

@@TheOne_6IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BEEN SCROLLING DOWN FOREVER LAUGHING LIKE A MANIAC

[@legitlyspelunking]

"My main is having a breltdown" is hilarious and definitely gets the point across 🤣

[@chelseasheehan9227]

Lol reminds me of that time I was at work and I had been prepping for semester finals and I went “My brain melted. Someone committed aggravated brain melting. I need the brain melting police.” Lollllllll

[@nikkiofthevalley]

​​@@chelseasheehan9227That legitimately sounds like something I'd say. I say "my brain is sideways" when confused about something. (Or when very confused, "my brain is upside down") Although I am an autistic mess, so there's that as well.

[@namelessdoesthings]

real

[@WuhHuh]

@@nikkiofthevalleymy cerebrum is currently situated at an abnormal angle

[@namesurname6294]

​@@nikkiofthevalleyFun fact: "sideways" and "to burn" is the same in Turkish. Additionally, "beynim yandı" (literally "my brain has burned") is a colloquial phrase you could hear being used when one's really confused and stumped about something.

[@beezwacks]

I dropped my water bottle on the ground on accident once. Tried to say “Sorry” and “Oops” at the same time, ended up with “Soups!” I couldn’t stop laughing for ten minutes straight

[@050_WeiXian]

so basically it’s 2:12?

[@Lord_Of_The_WhoLock]

If I said that infront of my dad, he would be laughing for at least two hours

[@Pikolati]

Man you just had me screaming 'SAUCE' sitting on the ground waiting for the bus, laughing. What has my life become.

[@Metal_SandwichMadness]

Last year, I lost my 2 cats. My friend tried to say “They’re in a better place now” and “I’m sorry” AND WHAT CAME OUT WAS SOMEHOW “CONGRATULATIONS” 💀💀💀💀

[@satanslittleprince]

IM SORRY FOR LAUGHING...

[@Orange_Swirl]

​@@satanslittleprinceWell, clearly they thought it was funny, too

[@lucyfer_the_bat]

damn I'm sorry about your cats but that's fucking hilarious

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

SKULL EMOJAY SKULL EMOJAY SKULL EMOJAY!

[@zaraiigacha]

I AM SO SORRY FOR LAUGHING

[@satyan0999]

this one literally happened today, i was on call with my friends and one of them said something questionable and i loudly announced " I AM CONSUMED. " ( i tried to say confused and concerned at the same time... )

[@VeeVincent2]

I am consumed!!!

[@MyrmeciaEreptorIsPeak]

He has been consumed, but by who?

[@gigafishwasnottaken]

this kind of makes sense like "im consumed" like "im consumed by questions" so like confused or concerned so like idk

[@satyan0999]

@@gigafishwasnottaken hmm i agree might start saying it on purpose now 😇

[@MyrmeciaEreptorIsPeak]

@@satyan0999 I'm now imagining you on an important meeting and getting overwhelmed by questions so you just announce "I AM CONSUMED"

[@DistantLoner]

Yesterday I was working on the character design for a little 2D indie game, and was pondering while pacing whether I wanted the characters' heads to be able to turn on their own or if they should always be looking straight forward with their bodies which would be much easier. Just then, I walked into the kitchen where my older sibling and Mom were and decided to wave. But for some reason I subconsciously copied the concept of staring straight forward no matter what, and ended up waving at a dim empty hallway. I didn't even notice that it might have looked weird until my mom asked who I was waving at.

[@lindseybrant7624]

I hope the game is good

[@echognomecal6742]

@@lindseybrant7624 I hope our Op is good.... That's some deep thought right there.

[@echognomecal6742]

LEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JENKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

[@AlienFloatingAround]

Bro, you turned into a NPC just to make a game. That's some good dedication, mad respect.

[@reharm_reality]

Sometimes when I animate for too long I start moving slower because my brain is breaking my movement into frames

[@Author__]

I was crying of laughter while watching this. I don’t know what it is about people messing up their sentences, but it gives me great joy.

[@GeoGamerArtistVlogger]

SAME

[@Dongleygoop749]

Same

[@emberjaaas]

this makes me wonder if the guy that invented "hangry" tried to say "im hungry" and "a little bit angry" at the same time

[@TRMofYT]

Hold on now just one minute. You might be on to something you genius.

[@Tis_a_YOUsless_Shroom]

Yeah I think that word was a comeplete accident

[@KittyLikesCats]

One time, I was trying to compliment my little brother by saying "your hair looks nice today" or "you look smart today" but ended up saying "your hair looks smart today"

[@RobertTheDasher]

I really want to know how he responded to that

[@KittyLikesCats]

@@RobertTheDasher He stared at me for a moment before asking if I was saying his hair looked stupid most of the time lol

[@EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts]

That's a totally legit thing to say? Smart means neat or presentable as well as intelligent.

[@wondercoton]

One of my regular clients that I see monthly at work tried to say "You always do a great job" and "Just do your best" when I explained that the job would be more difficult than usual. She instead put her hand on my shoulder and yelled "JUST DO YOUR JOB!". The blood immediately drained from her face and she stammered what she meant while I laughed and walked away to DO MY JOB.

[@zenski_dostoevsky]

did you DO YOUR JOB... as great as usual?

[@PuffballTheBlueGreenCreeper]

4:22 This is definitely what Bender from futurama would say "Are you enjoying the jerk?"

[@ellarose2112]

Probably

[@RACINGUS95]

One time I was at a go kart race, and after a race, another driver confronted me about a collision we had in the race, and I tried to say “I was on your inside” and “I was trying to pass you” at the same time, and I ended up saying “I was inside you.” The look on his face was of pure “wtf” energy.

[@Husky-Raccoon]

Gawd damn! This is gold!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@alexplaysandedits2356]

I'd look at a person that way too if they claimed they were inside me.

[@onetwothreecats]

4:05 we honour the dedication this man has, thank you for a very awkward moment🙏

[@LoganL2008]

what a gigachad

[@MaxwellCapacity]

i can't lie i cringed so hard and i had to skip it. sorry matt.

[@liastaob]

That poor lady definitely had that "oh, it's that guy again" look.

[@JayFromWalmark]

​@@MaxwellCapacityikr

[@ludwigvonbacon8113]

My brain once tried to say “unhappy” and “upset” at the same time and I ended up saying “that makes me uphat”

[@beef4724]

I am so uphat right now.

[@mphtailz]

updog's hat has been found

[@TheDudeThatDoesNothing]

@@mphtailz you know updog? i'm a big fan of him!!

[@pennynelkin9721]

someone hit their head on the door frame and I tried to say "Are you okay?" and "Do you need help" I ended up saying "Are you ok, delp?"

[@a_person77]

Once in 6th grade my teacher asked my what 3rd person pronouns are. I tried to say “He, She, and It” Ended up saying out loud, in class, “HE SH*T.” My teacher said “We know what you mean.” It still haunts me.

[@airconditionedBreeze]

You did say that in a sense

[@TheOne_6]

ouch

[@lizzierose7271]

HELP I READ THIS IN MAT ROSE"S VOICEFHGCTXCRTVUNKNI

[@TheOne_6]

@@lizzierose7271 if that helps, i also did

[@youknowwhatelseisbig484]

My dad called me for dinner but I was using the bathroom so I was going to say "im in the bathroom" but halfway through speaking my brain goes "say ur on the toilet" so all i end up saying is *im in the toilet*

[@bluefeye]

My mother told me about a time she went into a store to buy a Diet Coke, and she looked the cashier in the eyes and said, "can I have a Diet Cock?" And then she tried to correct herself and said, "I meant, can I have a Diet Cock?" And she was so mortified, she remembers it over twenty years later.

[@HelenaVanCity]

Does she also remember what kind of cock they gave her that day? :))))))

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

Did the cashier autocorrected "diet cock" into "diet coke"? And dang. Did she give herself emotional damage?

[@Vinnyc11]

There’s actually a meme with the same joke kzbin.infobMb1dAmH7P0?si=AIOuN0O72lNZcHdZ

[@TheMamaluigi300]

“hi can i get an iced latte with diet cock i mean diet cock i mean diet cock sorry i mean diet cock i mean diet cock i mean”

[@chickenchickenweewee]

at least she wanted a diet coke and not a normal coke

[@Autumn_Frost]

"Careful" And "Its on the floor" - careful, theres floor.

[@TempBlue-EB7559]

Perfect for a game of the floor is lava.

[@Sqwidiot]

giving me the same energy as "the floor here is made out of floor"

[@SolarMakesEditzAndSuch]

Literally me whenever someone enters my room. "Careful, there's floor."

[@AllytheGumby]

@@SolarMakesEditzAndSuch there is no floor in my room

[@ericspiers8507]

o no, floor? must watch out.

[@Inky_Squ1d]

Talking about the rehearsal for wizard of oz i was trying to say "were there to work on jitterbug" and "just get there early for jitterbug" said "get...get the jancerbug"

[@gravitationalconst4nt]

a customer asked for a spoon and i tried to say “no problem!” and “yeah that’s okay!” and i looked him in the eyes and said “uh, that’s a problem.” i walked away like it never happened.

[@Banana-sx1pf]

Spoons should be outlawed

[@Not_A_Big_Fan]

"UUHHHH, THAT'S A PROBLEM" delivered with the same tone as the "YOU, ME, GAS STATION." guy

[@NotAFemboy7]

"4 stars, 5 if the employee wasn't so RUDE"

[@andrewuploadssometimes]

@@Not_A_Big_Fanit sounds the same as that one Tyler the creator video “uhm, I’m not finished”

[@stuffenjoyer6677]

Oof

[@mackreid]

When I worked in fast food, I was reading a lady’s order back to her and accidentally mixed together “is that correct?” and “does that sound good?” and practically yelled at her “IS THAT TRUE?”

[@yes_its_edd191]

It wasn't really a "saying two things at once" situation but once i was walking at the mall with my mother and accidentally tripped on my own feet, and as i fell down i screamed, at the top of my lungs: "IM SO SORRY!!!!"

[@AmeliaEarhart537]

😂

[@Tristanc213]

One time my younger brother hit me so i tried to say "please stop" and "dont do that" and ended up saying "please do that"

[@CHANNEL-IS-ON-HIATUS]

One time my mom was aiming for my ARMPIT and I tried saying "No!" and "Hey!" and said "NÆ!"

[@lu4165]

I was walking past a teacher back in high school and when we accidentally bumped shoulders she said, “Excuse me.” So I tried to say, “You’re okay” and “Excuse me” at the same time and ended up saying, “You’re me.”

[@GrayCrownRBLX]

I'm you.

[@jeremydb8954]

We’re us.

[@strxww..berrxx]

I’m them.

[@Yesssssss-l5l]

They’re yourself.

[@TIANIC121]

They are she

[@onetrain7336]

Accidentally played this video in 2 tabs at once and thought it was some kind of gimmick

[@sneakysnek572]

My sister tried to say “I’ll have a number twenty-nine” while ordering at a drive-thru, and she ended up saying “I’ll have a tine.” She then proceeded to laugh hysterically for a full 45 seconds while the poor drive-thru lady stood there all confused

[@AverageConsumer-uj8sm]

I'll have a ~~number~~ t~~wenty-n~~ine

[@AverageConsumer-uj8sm]

aw fuck that didn't work

[@spencercoots]

How many items are on that frickin menu?!!?

[@ChrispyBoiYTP]

I am losing it at the ‘squeesh’ comment, not because of the squeesh itself but because of how Matt said HEHRYDOABEIF

[@crystalprism8913]

Honestly... I would say that normally. Like that is a normal word in my house. We call spoons "harpoons" and Crepes Crappy Food (we enjoy them tho). This isn't too far off.

[@Diamond-Star5official]

Once upon a time, someone my mum was working with was trying to tell a bunch of kids to “shush” and “sit down” at the same time. What came out of her mouth was this: “Sh*t down!”. Fortunately, they were teaching a bunch of 3-4 year olds, so I don’t think they’d pick up words like that easily.

[@TopazTheDragon]

Oh they do

[@Jay_1038]

they definitely do, my younger siblings learned a lot of words at young ages because my older brothers couldn't keep their mouths shut!

[@Diamond-Star5official]

@@Jay_1038 oof

[@broblerone413]

oh yeah i've said that before too 😂

[@depressionpie4859]

When we first got our dog Chevy, my brother was around ten years old. He was trying to tell Chevy to sit, mixed the two together, and ended up accidentally shouted SHIT

[@b3llm0th]

my mom went to go look at something at the store after we checked out and i had the bag and tried to say “im gonna stay here” and “they’ll think we’re stealing” at the same time and announced in front of the whole store “im gonna steal”

[@Turmoil000]

What’d they so

[@Turmoil000]

*do

[@xOrionNebula2708]

reminds me of a video where a guy wrote on his friends forehead beffore he went into a store with sharpie: "Im A Shoplifter"

[@b3llm0th]

@@xOrionNebula2708 😭😭😭

[@xOrionNebula2708]

@@b3llm0th one of the cashiers kept telling him to "get out" and he was so confused and kept asking why

[@AidanWR]

Slapping someone's leg and shouting "IT'S A LEG!" is a real power move though

[@AwfulAnimat0r]

"My tongue is TWERKING!!" *INTENSE SCREEN WIGGLES*

[@willEPIC529]

Yesterday, my waiter said, “enjoy your day!” And I tried to say “thank you!” and “You too!” At the same time but I just ended up saying, “YOU” 💀

[@050_WeiXian]

😂😂😂

[@joshshrum2764]

YOOOOOUUUUU SOULJA BOY.

[@SavouryGalette]

If I was a waiter, and my customer just said "YOU" after I told them to enjoy their day, I would think twice before going back to that restaurant.

[@Gaïa235]

Scuh hhhhUUUUUoUUULLlllllllllllll EMOJI😵

[@VanadiumMC]

@@joshshrum2764 SOULJA BOY TELL'M

[@Diriector_Doc]

My sister once tried to say "Nice try, buster" and "Nice try, buddy" at the same time and ended up saying "Nice try, butter"

[@anxia-tea5846]

I was talking to my cat. wanted to say “little baby” and “sweet girl” at the same time and ended up saying “little gay.”

[@r0sewtf_92]

i just choked on my own spit laughing at this

[@Dongleygoop749]

LMAOO

[@lizzierose7271]

@@r0sewtf_92 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I DID THAT TOO🤣

[@Gobble640]

LMAOOOO

[@Venus_0978]

accurate. cats are gay.

[@andrewbowman4611]

Years ago I used to work in a pub, and a customer coined the rather apt term - after conflating customer and punter - cuntomer. He tried to apologise, but I rightly told him it was superb. It's my favourite neologism of all time.

[@kingdonut6675]

Matt going into public and embarrassing himself for our entertainment is top notch comedy!

[@monkeytennis7477]

I wonder if people know who he is when he goes out in public? He's kind of hard to miss. 😮

[@TheDevilsAng31]

Once after my brother washed the bathroom and he made a comment on how clean it was and I remember trying to say "That toilet better be gold" and I instead said "That gold better be toilet" and everyone just started laughing at me and my dad said something about "I only want 100% porcelain bars" as a sort joke to my mishap. I still laugh.

[@voidatethesun]

okay but “be closed” sounds like an ancient way of saying “shut up” and im in love with that 😭

[@VeraEdelman]

Yesterday at work this little girl came in to ask some questions for her grandmother and when she thanked me I tried to say "No problem" and "You're welcome" at the same time. Realized what I was doing halfway through, bailed, and ended up saying "NO WHELK" in a strained voice. Thankfully I was able to redeem myself later when I rang her out.

[@xixicantdraw]

When I was in primary school, maybe in year 3 or 4; there was science homework due and I didn't do it so I asked someone who sat next to me. I wanted to say "Hey I need some help" and "Did you do the homework?", which came out wonderfully as "Hey I do the help". I was horrified on so many levels.

[@st0lf]

Whenever Matt does something on camera I crack up. Like it's not at all my type of humour, but for some reason it just works. I think it's his confidence? In any case, the idea that a person like Matt exists just makes me happy.

[@timothyissler3815]

My wife and I were once discussing spiders (as you do), and I mentioned I didn't like them in the house (important to note I was shirtless like a barbarian while the conversation was happening), and she said *very deliberately* "Oh you don't want spiders on your nipples... SPIPPLES!"

[@musclechicken9036]

This comment is underrated “SPIPPLES” I’m dead😭😭😭

[@mxron1.]

☠️

[@cockisinn]

thats a wholesome relationship right there

[@MantledMimi]

6:51 I bet that was an amazing inside joke they had

[@skeepodoop5197]

I remember hearing second hand that my mom once asked for the fork and knife at dinner and ended up saying "can you pass the knork and fife".

[@mallermart]

Knork

[@HCR_]

Fife

[@papermonkeyminer8116]

Don't bring a splayd to a knork fight

[@thereddrake2808]

Or a swun to a gord fight

[@AiluroFelinus]

Or a lear to a spance fight

[@railsofthetristate]

I tried to say "no problem" and "your welcome" at the same time and said "your problem"

[@Omniscient_AI]

I have gifted you ~a problem~ that is unknown to you what it actually is

[@michaelhorton8489]

Atleast You Didn’t Say “No Welcome”

[@NotAFemboy7]

not mine, is it?

[@Kittygameplayz]

same energy as "didn't ask"

[@lemonlemonlemonlemonlemonlemo]

matt these “saying two things at the same time” videos are going to literally kill me. please make more

[@Vox_funny_tv_man__]

This inclines something quite dark. Dying by laughter is nice I suppose

[@riverofwailing4075]

I laughed so hard by the end that I was sure I was gonna have a heart attack and die before the video ended

[@joshshrum2764]

I almost died when i heard I cried my balls out clearly, like i moved around like a seal, or like i’d been stabbed in the gut.

[@beef4724]

Mood

[@deathrobot10k58]

I have a tendency of reversing commonly used phases, my favorite being, “you’re a poopy parter” instead of party pooper. Most of the time I don’t even realize it.