The All Guardsmen Party: The Stealth Mission "Observation"

[@timothymclean]

The team went on three (and counting) consecutive missions, interspersed with trying to throw off the traffic cop from hell (erm, the Warp) and _driving through a gang-warzone,_ missing sleep and breakfast in the process, all without the slightest idea why anything (except the gang-warzone thing) was supposed to accomplish? With only a bit of complaining, and a lot of successful bluffing? Geez, these guys are _professionals._

[@sambucktooth]

well there was plenty of travel time in-between action..even if it wasn't all that restful...

[@JCDenton2012Modder]

"Gifting has never and will never be an ancient Space Marine tradition," somewhere... in the vast darkness of space... a Blood Raven's gifting senses tingles.

[@willrogers3793]

“Brother Sergeant...do you...*feel* that?” “Indeed, Brother...somewhere, someone is *yet again* slandering our beloved chapter with spurious implications of thievery.” “I wish whoever they are would get their facts straight. *Thievery* is what those embittered twats in the Marines Malevolent do. *We* are merely continuing our beloved chapter’s traditions of accepting honorable gifts from our comrades in arms without embarrassing them by asking first.” “I understand, and indeed, share your feelings, Brother. Sadly, there are those too misinformed or too petty to see the difference.”

[@jamesflynn6827]

We got it from the time our chapters fought together in this one campaign. What !????? You don't remember this? And what is that your chapters scribes don't find records of this? What a bad luck so let me tell you about it it was when ...(insert random made up story)

[@loganb7059]

I bet nubby would get along well with blood ravens.

[@fg09403]

It made me think back to a side character I think was in ravenor who was a inquisitor who had been gifted a full-size astartes bolter complete with gravity studs to make it possible for her to use. or Ventris pinning one of his purity seals on the guardsman who had saved him from a nid with a well-aimed rocket.

[@richardwarnercool1]

@@loganb7059 or it would turn into the most vicious and horrific rivalry on any side of the universe over who could 'borrow' and 'requisition' the most stuff.

[@benediktgeierhofer4146]

The occurence border is so stealthy it could park in the middle of a ork waaargh abd the ork boss would just think he got more boys to chop up 'umis with in a new space hulk.

[@nicholasrandall3507]

Ork fungus is all the Occurrence Border doesn't have.

[@wovensystem1782]

@@nicholasrandall3507 let the warp fungus meet the ork fungus. Maybe throw in some tyranids too just for twitch to come home too

[@soupenjoyer6173]

*ROIGHT GUD THINKIN YAS DOIN THER YA BRAIN BOI, BUT I CAN SMEL OOMIE GROTS FROM OVA 70 KILLOMMETERS AWAY, YA ZOGGIN OOMIE*

[@justintaylor-deadguydave5932]

The really scary thing is that the all guardsman party is probably the most effective and successful party that we have seen in operation

[@thomass2505]

Hey guardsmen can be more efficient than Marines if they need to. They are like Ork except week and puny and don't have the ability to think things into being.

[@1110-s1t]

@@thomass2505 no they can't. I love the Guard, but The Emperor's Angels of Death are on a totally other level.

[@thomass2505]

@@1110-s1t forgot to add the need for numbers and as many explosives that we can contain

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

[phone] So far, they have murdered three chaos marines, saved the arses of three regular ones, killed two goddamn hive tyrants, and a grater deamon of chaos, twice. You very rarely see even the smurfs do this well.

[@1110-s1t]

@@ineednochannelyoutube5384 I'm sure there are plenty of Smurf RPG parties that save entire multiverses because it's in character. It's not canon by any stretch of the imagination

[@antaresmaelstrom5365]

I love how the Apothecary is continuously "so done with this shit" at every turn.

[@GundamReviver]

"because a space hulk IS THE OPPOSITE OF STEALTHY" I laughed my ass off.

[@randomdragon8245]

Thirty nine minutes in and I already know the guards are gonna get blamed for whatever massive blunder the inquisitor manages to cause. Truth be told he was the one interrogator I hoped wouldn’t return.

[@DumAzzFairy]

Fr i'd even take the full of himself cleric over this twat and his team

[@KaiserAfini]

First rule of 40k: it can and will always get worse.

[@randomdragon8245]

@@KaiserAfini As I've learned in the long yet short years since this comment came out. I'm not one for grimdark, but 40k is an odd exception because it's cool enough for me to kinda like it anyway.

[@KaiserAfini]

@@randomdragon8245 I agree, I like the insanity, the moments of heroism and determination, the grittiness of it all. But at the end of the day, I like the character's sacrifice and effort to amount to something. 40k is great at doing that, but I would be less excited for its equivalent of The End Times (but I doubt GW would give up its cashcow).

[@peridoodle2644]

SERGEANT GRAVIS GONNA BE A DREADNOUGHT

[@mahro-wulf9947]

Later if he dies and ends up in the poker room, I could see him being the poker table

[@thomasfoster4370]

@@mahro-wulf9947 and would be given the sole responsibility of holding back the scout via the bio-shank

[@ianhogben3472]

not even in death does duty end

[@crystalalarm3]

My theory is Oak is using the guards to remove "uncertain" elements in his own organization.

[@FreedFenrir]

My hypothesis is that he is purposely pairing them with the more senseless inquistors on his payroll, specifically because he realizes they have a level of common sense the other's lack.

[@MarkATorres1989]

I'm under the impression that Oak is TRYING to get rid of them.

[@cheeseyboy2121]

@@MarkATorres1989 it was mentioned that after nubby had that fail with buying the ship he was transferred to "one of oaks suicide squads"

[@psmt1234]

@@MarkATorres1989 honestly that makes no sense Oak could have just had them all shot at. any. time. for. any. reason. if the party we're actually just terrible fuck ups that caused massive collateral damage for no tangible gains oak wouldn't have promoted sarge and most certainly wouldn't keep them alive. it would just be a waste.

[@basileusbasil4041]

@@psmt1234 They were only reassigned to an idiot inquisitor after they fucked their mission up horribly and probably destroying an entire station... maybe.

[@vasudeanguy8523]

I admire the party's restraint. I would've "accidentally" vented the entire guy's corvette and crew while in the warp long before the mission started.

[@ThatGuy-uw3yf]

I miss being able to binge these.

[@Xeakquh]

I currently am.

[@GreyTalus]

I am for at least the 3rd time lol

[@rasmuslaurila7611]

Do it again

[@rasmuslaurila7611]

I am doing it once again

[@jmagg8835]

I'm on my 10 playthrough, I still laugh out loud at party, my wife thinks I'm weird.

[@Gradamit]

oh no I caught up what a horrible fate

[@jasonh8592]

Same. F

[@rattmane]

i know HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

[@thewatcher8878]

rip

[@toastertech1181]

20 squire meters of room space: average guardsmen: *complains* 26 krieg guardsmen: this is fine

[@tomsutton2042]

1/2 Krieger: best place I ever been in outside of the bombardment zone

[@MarkATorres1989]

So... this officer that plagued our heroes... A Judge Dredd reference?

[@fg09403]

maybe? if so, young Dredd or Stallone Dredd.

[@barleysixseventwo6665]

Very much so! If you go to the All Guardsmen Party Google Archive he even commissioned a picture of a Judge Dredd look-alike with a servo-skull printing traffic citations.

[@goggariS]

The Arbites are a huge reference to Judge Dredd, not just this one.

[@bigrew7084]

1:02:00 or so >"...didn't want to go out there and do all that cloak and dagger shit..." lol

[@tomjack1000000]

BIG REW he's been setting this up for years (I hope)

[@StellarTempest]

I hope to God that this series somehow ends with a GTA V style deathwish ending where what remains of the party (and possibly a few of the poker table warp creatures), go on the greatest and most unwinnable killing bing of the last millennium. They will go down in the records of the imperial scribes, and Tao vids, they will be remembered forever within The Inquisition as the most brutal and ruthless guardsmen; and at the end of the killing, they will finally rest, and their accomplishments will change absolutely jack-shit.

[@codysonic1]

Or you know the emperor is impressed by their actions and decides to have them become custodes or something anorh

[@ekkovaan2261]

@@codysonic1 thats one for the all guard and if the emperor had a ttsd crossover

[@codysonic1]

@@ekkovaan2261 Kitten: My lord who are these people I have not seen these custodes before? Emps: Some humans who proved to be perfect for keeping some of the others custodes in line and making sure they wear their fucking armor Sarge: Call me Sarge Kitten: Well...then welcome aboard i suppose

[@electricyarn]

If the AGP and If The Emperor Had a TTSD had a crossover my life would be complete.

[@equarg]

This chapter needs to be called “Traffic Cop from Hell”.

[@BeginswithPIE]

...I just realized something. If Doc is the medic, and has a player role-playing them, and the girlfriend is side character... Doesn't that mean the girlfriend is being played by the DM? .... I'm going to stop thinking about that.

[@szysi3k]

And who do you think plays all the "tawern wenches" in any campaign ever? :P

[@jellegaard]

Yup, one of my players is courting a sassy, fantasy-italian and highly charismatic noblewoman and I get to try and remember how to get a Tuscany accent right every other week.

[@corvididaecorax2991]

Such is the lot of the GM. We contain the whole rest of the world within us, which means we also have to deal with all of our players' sick/twisted/horrifying habits. My group has a rather impressive talent for coming up with creative torture methods. Most of the time it isn't even to get information out of someone. And the things they do with dead bodies to inspire terror in their foes . . . .

[@TiernanWilkinson]

​​@@corvididaecorax2991 In my group, one of our friends started carrying around a dead and slowly rotting bugbear with us and wielding it as a weapon.

[@corvididaecorax2991]

@@TiernanWilkinson Sounds like an interesting group.

[@z3r070000]

I almost cried when they left the occurrence border, I hope they make it back. lol they stole heart marines pistol and gave it to Tink, and Sargent Gravis is gonna be a Dreadnought

[@esper6119]

Okay, so, hold up. The tech-priest is fine with some rando cleric using a Godwyn-De'az pattern bolter, but xenos tech-heresy is where he draws the line? Hereteks these days, smh

[@weskergeorge97]

I know that this video is old by now, but I have to say that your voice acting skills have improved massively compared to the first videos on the All Guardsmen Party. If you have the time, I believe it would be cool if you redid the older readings, doing so would bring this whole playlist on an actual quality audio book level. Thanks for all the work you put into this :)

[@dawhandaonli5925]

The Apothecary is a Bro!

[@rosettaelemental7275]

I quite literally fell over laughing when they ditched the trafic cop. The dry delivery was so fucking perfect

[@MarkATorres1989]

After rehearing this video again. I wonder what was the thought process of the higher ups (Oak) in putting this poor stealth made team of Guardsmen into a stealth mission. Especially with an Inquisitor that has a rod up his pompous ass.

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

Intentionally failing probably.

[@youngthinker1]

Desperation. He's on the run, with few loyal chess pieces left in the area.

[@hudsonflores5478]

AGP has been an auto win button against basically everything so far

[@KaiserAfini]

I think its less of a rod and more of a chainsword. He is unable to incorporate their skills into his operation, denies them proper equipment, witholds intel and micromanages. There is no team synergy, so the guardsman have to do their jobs despite him.

[@derigel9783]

The Judge. Rides on a Motorcycle. Is relentless. Sounds familiar...

[@Ycurie]

I just finished binge watching and I still can't wait for the next installment. I really hope there will be more in this series.

[@awesomechainsaw]

At this point I think the writer’s character is twitch.

[@Sentient_Potato-]

the writers character is nubby

[@meandi8622]

How do you know it's Nubby?

[@RedwoodTheElf]

@@Sentient_Potato- And I strongly suspect that Nubby is strongly influenced by Corporal Nobby Nobbs of the Ankh-Morpork city guard.

[@InviWasTaken]

@@RedwoodTheElf well his name IS Nubby Nubbs but I also think his name could have been a joke about his legs

[@RoseLadyAKL]

@@RedwoodTheElf Between the name, smell, and need for a chit declaring him human? Yep.

[@justintaylor-deadguydave5932]

Yay, Sargent gravitas gets to be a dreadnaught after all!

[@BatalionHunter]

hopefully inquisitor scicitat gets a special end, maybe something nice and horrible (maybe something like after oak is cleared and he and sarge put in their reports and scicitat is punished for his actions in sabotaging not only his own inquisitor, and other things) spoilers: also read the 2 chapters after this and well someone's are going to get a little something coming to them.

[@EternallySaucey]

There's 2 chapters after this? Where?

[@BatalionHunter]

you will have to add the www bit all yourself since youtube seems to dislike links but theallguardsmenparty.com/index.html or you can go through the original tale link in the description enjoy reading or finding a text to speech thing and copy/pasting the whole chapter you want into it as one block

[@EternallySaucey]

BatalionHunter thanks mate

[@MercenaryX21]

So they're basically talking about Los Angeles when they describe the hive city minus the 3 dimensional stuff

[@firestorm165]

I was under the impression that it was Melbourne Australia right down to the rampant violent crime everyone pretends doesn't happen

[@maskedgaming2798]

@@firestorm165 nah mate, you are thinking of Sydney :)

[@firestorm165]

@@maskedgaming2798 Don't have any reason to doubt that so I'm going to assume it's accurate

[@KaiserAfini]

Sounds like driving in Lima, transit is just that bad and drivers are insane.

[@tomjack1000000]

It's apparent today the emperor blesses us

[@andrewfinn1386]

Caught up on these amazing stories. Thank you! You have an awesome voice for narration.

[@thatoneguy2886]

ya know if i had to rp my character through this kinda stuff it would end in a tnpck Total Non-Player Character Kill play on tpk my group has in which one or more people decide the most "in character" thing to do would be murder most/all npcs and leave town, usually discussed ahead of time with the DM (so they can script the obvious immense ramifications) or the rest of the party so they can stop whatever player is feeling the Urge autors note TNPCK may not be for everyone, please consult your Dm and team before trying TNPCK, side effects may include: the cute npc dieing instead, death by dubiously large/powerful local law enforcers, grisely bisection from paladin, and in severe cases getting murdered in meat-space

[@MaxterandKiwiKing]

I'm so happy you posted this

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

The most likely thing to kill the team is to not allow twitch to get good defences

[@thebighurt2495]

1:42 YOu know what, this might be a real pain to arrange, but if they could get their hands on some Skitarii gear, it'd be an upgrade *without* being Tech-Heresy. If I was a Guardsman, I'd practically *kill* for a shot at having a Galvanic or Arc Rifle or a Phosphur Carbine.

[@itaykerensm1629]

I have been waiting for this!!!

[@Joe-pi9bx]

He'll be a frick'n dreadnought, nice.

[@Twortortle]

I subscribed to you for this playlist, can't wait for the next mission.

[@ChiaroscuroxX]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH*sounds of a guardsmen worthy party raging in the background*

[@Dr.Sho_Minamimoto]

And now, to wait for “ The "Stealth" Mission: "Infiltration" “ chapter be read next.

[@SudsyMedusa53]

Enough space for 8 guardsman, 12 rattling auxillaries, 4 ogryn, or 26.5 Kriegers.

[@kylemajor5889]

the nemeses of the guardsmen is the Traffic Cop

[@gazerakofnolvoid3134]

Anyone else figure out that the new tech priest is Dr. Farnsworth?

[@Shatterverse]

Gazerak of Nolvoid good news, everyone! It's obvious that you'll never hear the tech priest's voice any other way!

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

Once again apothecary absolute bro

[@phantomnxc6081]

I hope that the old space hulk comes back it has the best crew and the best pyker.

[@jesusferretsfirearms1347]

this is incredible stuff! we do hope there is more coming!

[@RiotKurhein]

That Traffic Officer Dredd?

[@MarkATorres1989]

YES! That was my thoughts too! :D

[@dexter-vex8599]

Yeah that was an awesome part and the gang war

[@Lord_Numpty]

The Adeptus Arbites in general are Dredd. This guy just so happens to be Dredd mixed with a Terminator on steroids.

[@magnuskain278]

The dm was really pissed about his Eldar gf getting ventilated

[@haroldgerken4835]

23 and 1/2 Kriegers. I imagine it being like the 21 people in one porta potty video

[@kirigayakazuto3732]

I miss this so much, I wish for it to continue. This has been my go-to miniature painting background playlist.

[@phyrofox1641]

Wonder what he wants to do with the wraithbone (raises eyebrows)

[@dexter-vex8599]

This was awesome and I was not disappointed with the latest instalment of these guardsmens crazy antics hoping I can get the parts I need shortly to try and build this motley crew of crazies in mini form

[@art-o-cart5166]

just the idea of a Judge Dread traffic cop is cracking me up so hard

[@pennding3415]

I some times forget this is a thread on 40K and not just a well writen story

[@DanielChico09]

I hope you demanded your DM to openly roll the chances of success for the offscreen inquisitor party during the trafic adventure.

[@topherstrange5002]

When will the second part be released? I absolutely love your reading style.

[@evunotry-force2073]

I fucking love all guardmen's party

[@Ryan91487]

16:30 Nice Futurama reference there

[@The_Brainsturgeon]

Fun fact: a lot of the old-school illustrators for Warhammer 40K's books were also comic artists for the 2000 AD magazine, which still features Judge Dredd, to which the zealous traffic cop is an obvious reference.

[@alexanderjames34]

Now I see why it took so long between eps xD keep it up!

[@anthonypecha6714]

Thank you, i found your reading of this story to be the best, this is making me want to play warhammer 40k. Only war!

[@bwifpunish]

Aha, 26.5 Kriegers. Classic.

[@Horseshoecrabwarrior]

Which half? Left, right, front, back, top, bottom, inner, or outer?

[@bwifpunish]

​@@Horseshoecrabwarrior He's just missing the part of his brain that gives him the ability to feel fear and give mercy. So really like any other Death Korps soldier in the long run. And by long run I mean the 25 metres he gets before he gets hit by an artillery strike.

[@173rdcomanche7]

Any ETA on the next installment? Love having these play in the background while I paint, and it just hasn't been the same!

[@overlordcacius]

I can't wait for the rest of this.

[@LadyRavenEyes]

1:12:38 i yelled damn it twitch out loud at this part LOL

[@Snowy123]

I feel bad for the Judge, I really want to see that vengeful angel of traffic come back.

[@42ndguardian]

Just realized the traffic cop was the 40k equivalent of Judge Dredd

[@jacobfreeman5444]

Judge Dredd is more 40k than 40k is.

[@ZGuy0fSci]

Which is or would be worse; dealing with _This_ traffic officer....... vs having to wait for more of these to come out as they are completed?

[@TheJakal87]

The traffic cop is a mix of judge dredd and Steven Segal's character in under surge

[@hudsonflores5478]

26:30 gee I wonder whos pov this is from

[@Interceptor00X]

Dammit! I finally caught up! Guess I'll start again.

[@FrickinShark]

Good birthday gift. Thanks m8!

[@deadmeme8973]

I miss the days when I didn't know Nubby was a person shaped great unclean one

[@joefloggg3257]

He really is trying to kill the players.

[@joshuabenner4846]

Can’t wait for more.

[@CaptainTittus]

Can't wait till you do the next 2 stories

[@livelearnlovesmile]

I both hate and love you. I've never gotten into Warhammer and now you got me addicted to the story. I owe you a dram of scotch sometime if I ever get to meet you at a con or something.

[@nelsonbergin8167]

I thought youd finished with the guardsman serious! Im so glad your still doing them as there the reason i subscribed and would be willing to pay towards there continuity. The patreon stuff you do i dont get btw.

[@MaxterandKiwiKing]

nelson bergin its still being written

[@nelsonbergin8167]

MaxterandKiwiKing o right!? It did start as a 40k game he used to play right? Anyway its really cool

[@TheTaleForge]

I wasn't in the original campaign. The writeup is done by Shoggy Seldom, and there's a link to his website in the description of every episode.

[@dexter-vex8599]

Yeah that awesome man I like to call awesome sauce has actually contacted me after I thanked him for his work on the all guardsmen party and how amazing it is

[@TheTaleForge]

He's really good about that. We send emails back and forth now and then.

[@ericsmith551]

I'm a bit vindictive. I would've just waited until their eventual fuck-up and desperate need for armed back-up, and then asked about upgrades for the van. "What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of our van being a flaming pile of shit..Maybe you ought to try speaking mechanic, I might hear you better."

[@onepangaean3018]

Putting the Demonthrope in the astropathic sanctum. That was funny.

[@Brother_Creed]

Can't wait for the next one!

[@G4LERNE]

2 HOURS DAYUM

[@nelsonbergin8167]

Galerne hes a beast lol

[@Kasperl88]

If you're reading this on 6-9-2018, the latest story is live at the usual place.

[@nolanbrooks5604]

Kasperl88 what is the usual place?

[@Kasperl88]

That most wretched hive of scum and villainy. /tg/. Still presently active there.

[@nolanbrooks5604]

Thanks, I did a search for that and I just get 1,000s of Star Wars videos. I apologize, could you help me out with a link?

[@Kasperl88]

boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/60232637

[@sorodragonfall8832]

You know, I think it's tink's player telling this story

[@TheTaleForge]

Nope. It's Nubby/Crisp

[@rollncast2740]

They would make perfect Palanite Enforcers.

[@BrotherCOG]

Well sir I call for more

[@Omnifelix]

Do you or the author have a discord or something to follow to keep up to date on progress and updates?

[@TheTaleForge]

Shoggy has an official website, it's linked in the description of every one of these videos. I have a Discord, also linked in the description of all of these videos.

[@jmagg8835]

Shaggy now has Twitter so we know he is still alive, alot of us got worried when the updates stopped.

[@kylebell7323]

here we go we goin in boys

[@jaceross7648]

need more

[@supremepatriarchbalthasarg474]

1:01:30 book mark

[@ButlerOfChaos]

Did you remember to use your bookmark?

[@supremepatriarchbalthasarg474]

@@ButlerOfChaos yes my friend I used it

[@goodroadkill7590]

When is the next one?

[@radfarlander]

The audio level is low in these last few.

[@RedwoodTheElf]

Anyone else find it distracting that the book image in the vidoes has the crease between the pages ABOVE the microphone, but NOT in the space between the microphone and the stand? Some Warpy stuff going on there.

[@MagicalMaster]

So basically this Inquisitor and his team were doing everything they could to be teamkilled? yea, sounds like a, FUCKING SHIT BOSS storyline.

[@StarboyXL9]

Lol, Judge Dred. They got harassed by Judge Dred

[@darklitebug]

So, this was a game played, right? Or at least that's the premise. Can you imagine your dm telling you that all the fancy gear and contacts you've been building up were getting chucked out for the foreseeable future? I might lose it.

[@wombatman5164]

yesss, YESSSSSS, *YESSSSSSSSS*

[@civosborne]

So how did the pets reply to the pressgang's offer?

[@deadshr00m54]

Ayyyyyyy it's the good shit fam