The All Guardsmen Party: Discount Spaceship (part 2)

[@HoundofOdin]

"He was just hiding under his bed crying." Seems like the logical course of action during a daemonic incursion.

[@anthonynuciforojr1725]

I’d say the navigator had the best reaction to the incursion. Lock your self in your sanctum and ignore all the warpy silliness and focus on steering the ship through the warp.

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

@@anthonynuciforojr1725 until his best friend who he watched die's corpse appears (kinda like an american werewolf in london) and starts telling him that he should alter his course to that planet that looks a lot like prospero

[@anthonynuciforojr1725]

Erik Truchinskas I’d say it looks more like Istvan V now that I get a good look at it.

[@oakrunt]

". . as far as we were concerned, Sarge had operational command." Every gorram time xD

[@ajobdunwell2585]

Sargent Gregg Sargent

[@Ajehy]

Oak knows what’s up. You can’t turn down that promotion forever, Sarge…

[@rustyshackleford2479]

”NO, THERE IS NOT A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DAMAGED AND REFURBISHED!”

[@Lady_Rhea]

Rusty shackleford Me talking to Dell customer support 😂

[@gatordragon6140]

Ahh yes "refurbished" gellar feild gens, top of the line i swear, just dont ask what happened to the last owners

[@saltgunz_0064]

Where's Nubby! I'll strangle-murder the little bastard.

[@Amanoob105]

Am I the only one surprised there wasn't also a pair of severed legs sitting at the card table? Possibly trying to steal the wallets of the other two players.

[@amatwa8038]

lol

[@RAFMnBgaming]

How do severed legs steal? Damn warp!

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

@@RAFMnBgaming duh with their toes

[@MsPageMistress]

No, that's silly. Nubby would have to be dead with the legs being all that remained.

[@Hailix4240]

@@MsPageMistress actually the legs were the only part that *did* die. The legs being present would make sense.

[@chesterstevens8870]

The more I listen to these stories, the more I wish they could be adapted to a full mini-series. It's like a sillier, darker sci-fi version of Band of Brothers, it would be great as a KZbin Red or Netflix original.

[@josephbarron1186]

Neon Cobra yup agree completely. This is an awesome series

[@Jesusfsmums]

The first step somehow make it cannon

[@tristanmiskwa6830]

george gue I thought it already canon

[@Jesusfsmums]

Tristan Miskwa it’s based on a dark hersey game which is set in 40k but not the narrative isn’t approved by games workshop. So I think it would be hard to publish it as a book or podcast for profit

[@chesterstevens8870]

@@Jesusfsmums Unless GW bought the rights to the story from OP after they had completed it. But that seems unlikely: given both how stingy GW is and how difficult it could be to track down some random anon from a story that began Emps-knows-how long ago.

[@Lord_Numpty]

Took me absolutely bloody ages for my brain to shift into gear. Only _just_ figured out the large sword-wielding bloke drowning someone in the poker rooms punch bowl was the Khornate getting revenge on his murderer.

[@MsPageMistress]

Yeah, it happens. I think I read it a few times before I fully got it myself.

[@b2crazyeye]

@@MsPageMistress I can’t think of which khornate with a large sword you are talking about

[@JCupgrade]

@@b2crazyeye probably the one that got executed by the cleric at the temple of unity

[@Bongoid]

I thought the skeleton was the murderer considering how he was quite… crispy and tended to laugh a lot

[@davankrueger1725]

@@Bongoid crisp killed the space Marine the alpha legion

[@eilistraeepreistess]

Wait, the people in the room are the dead of campaign. The headless body was Heavy and the burned skeleton was Crisp.

[@TheTaleForge]

Yup. The 1d4Chan entry for AGP actually refers to any dead characters as "in the great poker room in the sky." Now I see where that comes from.

[@theposhdinosaur7276]

That also explains why the skeleton said "no hard feelings" and why he laughs so much.

[@redeye3869]

Thanks

[@Hailix4240]

Cutter shows up later. It’s the poker room of the dead, all dead party members end up there. It’s a nice tribute to those we’ve lost.

[@AWACS0kaNieba]

All the phantoms that showed up were the dead characters from the opening

[@morromenos1016]

The Demoniservoknarlotitan is the epitome of 'DO NOT GIVE THE GM ANY IDEAS!'

[@gatordragon6140]

Actually since twitch has the paranoia trait he probably rolled high and the dm had to tell him a vague description of what was going to happen

[@theexchipmunk]

It took me too long to get the joke with the ships name. All the time it bugged me that the name Occurrence Border seemed somehow familiar. And now, months later, watching a documentation I finally got it. Occurrence Border is a synonym for Event Horizon. And now i am not surprised at all that this ship is a demon infested deathtrap.

[@SideBurn12]

ikr took me some time aswell to get it. just plain awesome nod to one of the better sci fi movies out there :)

[@cmdrsausage]

That makes sense! Plus I mean it’s pretty popular head canon that the movie is a 40k prequel haha

[@TheSuicidalGiraffe]

Dear God it was buggine me too. I couldn't put my fingure on it but occurrence border just kept itching at my brain. Thanks for sharing, would have drove me insane... No pun intended.

[@alee48916_masry]

Nerdy puns are the best puns

[@Nyghtking]

Oh god, I just remembered, in the movie the event horizon has it's front half severed by controlled explosions, and the back half gets sucked into a wormhole, and the ship they are using not only is a reference to it but is missing it's front section.

[@timothymclean]

Wait...the former captain thought he could lock some xenos in _the hydroponics bay_ to starve them out?

[@pretzelbomb6105]

So... the Knarloc knew how to farm?

[@-kenik9629]

@@pretzelbomb6105 Didn't need it. Smaller creatures could take the free water and sun, photosynthesize, and become food for the bigger ones.

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

You dont only grow weed with hydroponics

[@MsPageMistress]

@@pretzelbomb6105 You know what? Thank you for giving me an image of a knarloc farmer. He's got on overalls and a sun hat, and has a hoe.

[@DK-gw9lh]

@@MsPageMistress That's not a nice thing to say about someones girl friend, but more importantly what tool does it farm with?

[@Uatemysoul]

Fighting demon driven servators in a ship that's falling apart and stuck there so long as the ship is out of order without knowing if it can be put back together. GOD damn this GM is a bastard.

[@kingkoopah4214]

Its also accurate to the source material, no pulled punches here.40k plays for keeps.

[@gatordragon6140]

I mean out of a whole regiment the gm only left 35 of them alive and that was him being nice

[@GrayGriffonKnight]

Sarge is pretty much my favorite character. I'm hoping he accepts that promotion at some point. Even if he really doesn't want to. Poor guy is just too capable for his own good

[@GlueEater-ix9gl]

It would be very funny to see interogator/inquisitor sarge

[@NZrated10]

@@GlueEater-ix9gl just wait till the next couple of adventures ohhh boiii

[@plink4861]

Even the chaos gods don't want that ship

[@heavyweaponsguy4498]

If you were a chaos god, would you want the Border?

[@pigl4t1]

Heavy Weapons Guy yes!

[@ghuttsmckenzie4269]

I'm pretty sure the orks don't even want that ship.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

@@ghuttsmckenzie4269 Nah, perfucklee gud, it evun has da stoopid bit at da frunt gone so da boyz can get out fastah

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@ghuttsmckenzie4269 orks can think it into be the best ship ever. they dont give a fuck.

[@dawhandaonli5925]

TWITCH IS ALWAYS RIGHT! He was right about the orcs in the box, he was right about the beautiful inquisitor being evil, he was right about them being followed through the jungle by orcs when they were heretic hunting with the Rupert, and he was right about the "demonis-servi-knarla-titan"

[@davoodoo8042]

its 40k, pessimism is the synonym for precognition.

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

In the Warhammer Fantasy RPG, paranoia is a flaw you take to give your character flavor and get extra points. In Dark Heresy, paranoia is a PERK you have to pay for.

[@victorrunyan1274]

The GM has Twitch's player roll and depending on the roll he alone gets a vague preview of the plot. The roll controls how accurate that preview is. The player then filters that through role playing his character.

[@thydzz2180]

I swear Twitch is a latent psyker

[@ajobdunwell2585]

You smell like an Ork.... You an Ork?

[@equarg]

“And Cutter started talking to his sward again”. 😅I wish you shared some of that conversation with us!

[@codyrima2209]

Didn't know what a knarloc was til I googled it and holy shit slamming the doors was a good decision

[@angelangelis8362]

Cody Rima Yep. Those things are Fucking devestating. It's why a greater one is considered a relic weapon in Dawn of War.

[@tobymoore2185]

JURASSIC PARK MUSIC INTENSIFYS

[@jonsimpson6240]

And in the tabletop rules, they can hide behind a bush and get a 2up cover save.

[@chesterstevens8870]

Welcome to NOPEtown.

[@TheAKgunner]

@@chesterstevens8870 Population: You.

[@tomwells2427]

Have to say love the weird 2nd/3rd person narrative, as if the story was being told by an unnamed guardsmen in the party, "so there we were", interested to find out who our narrator is though.

[@TheTaleForge]

Shoggy has mentioned before that he played Nubby Nubs, of all people.

[@TheAKgunner]

@@TheTaleForge Seriously?!

[@cheshire4856]

​@@TheTaleForge Oh! I've been trying to figure that out for years!

[@Kris-wo4pj]

i love how much he roasts his own character in all of these like.

[@theroboticpotato]

Holy shit that makes mucb more sense ​@@TheTaleForge

[@ThatGuy-uw3yf]

“Jim should fix it”😂

[@RolandTheJabberwocky]

OH MY GOD THE SKELETON WAS CRISP AND THE CORPSE WAS HEAVY.

[@radioghost2732]

The headless character is the heavy or the third inquisitor, from the dangers of beauty arc (ie.Nubbys girlfriend episode) he was beheaded just above the neck, the ghosts were the friendly fire mishap(pick one). The swordsman is the warrior that escorted them last mission, the cleric is the character being dunked. The burned skeleton could be any number of characters though my thoughts lean towards the traitor space marine, or crisp.

[@jayglier]

they seem to be all of the team mates that have died while part of the team on mission later on durring the tyranid delivery specialist arc you see others in the room

[@mc_ace8075]

Skeleton is definitely Crisp.

[@sanguiniusse434]

Honestly the poker room is practically heaven compared to what I always assumed afterlife in 40k would look like.

[@turtleofpride4572]

"Tasted faintly like the color yellow" I believe that's a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy reference.

[@thisaccountnameiscompletel8949]

Turtle ofPride *purple

[@discipleoftzeentch8384]

Could also be a color of magic one though less likely

[@thyrussendria8198]

@@thisaccountnameiscompletel8949 Yellow is correct, at least for when they reentered Realspace

[@sanguiniusse434]

Honestly it just makes me think of my friends description of a heroic acid trip

[@nightdrivenen7909]

Could just be in reference how entering the warp was " tasting like the color purple" and yellow on the color wheel is opposite to purple.

[@Chris-jw8vm]

One thing I really love about listening to this game was the amount of thought put into their actions. GM made sure they'd know from the start that this wouldn't be a fair and consistently well balanced game and they actually took that into account. I'm more familiar with D&D. Think most groups I've seen or read about would TPK during literally every one of these missions even with having familiarity with the mechanics. They're so reactionary and detest planning combat out. At best they generally employ just tactics and not any strategy.

[@BladeDrake101]

Story/Our Merry Band of Misfit Guards - "As we walked, the sounds of battle echoed in the distance, along with the occasional roar. We congratulated ourselves on our brilliant planing and assured each other that there was NO WAY this was going to come back and bite us in the arse." ---------- Me: "By the emperor! You.. you actually have the gall to tempt fate, as you are fighting off a demonic incursion, while you are IN THE WARP? A place that is.. able to make your greatest nightmares and worst fears a literal Emperor Damned, REALITY?!" *sighs* "Well... I shall get started on the Administratum paperwork to file your squadrons death notices. Just in case you are all horrifically and messily torn to shreds by whatever unholy, emperor damned, demonic abomination that accursed realm decides to send after you."

[@monkeydragonson9851]

Dinosaurs on a spaceship!!!!!!!!! If you get it respect to you

[@umbreonmaster8921]

I get it. It was in a video game once. Cant remember which one and never played it. Saw a youtube video tho.

[@captainpanic3616]

Every time he says cutter yells, I think it’s the dawn of war intro scream.

[@Ajehy]

It took me way too long to realize that “cogton” meant “cogboy captain”

[@derigel9783]

This has Hitchhikers Guide to the Galagxy vibes. And I love it!

[@darthrevan4933]

Ok is anyone else reminded of the opening to LORT two towers (Gandalf vs the balrog) when cutter went down the shaft and began fighting the cogtin

[@greenEntertainer.]

Ah, yes. Lord of Rings the. My favourite series!

[@crystalalarm3]

I love the poker room of the damned. It has some interesting things to say about how much attention Big E is giving these poor bastards.

[@gatordragon6140]

If it was big e he would make them play a children's card game

[@excelman100]

I am really starting to hate high level techpriests

[@thyrussendria8198]

Starting to?

[@spartanhawk7637]

*NEVER. DOUBT. SARGE.*

[@ApocryphalDude]

Nubby getting a reduced negative report was repayment for his heroism saving Cutter and killing the mega boss monster

[@HunterSentinel]

Oh shit, the skeleton and card players are their former squad mates! even the chaos marine drowning a guy in the punch bowl. That’s crazy.

[@transcendantviewer]

Old Bill is probably my favorite character ever.

[@auto27user]

Olinius Prios LIVED!! Praise the emperor

[@jesusofsuburbia8825]

WHAT WAS THE NUBBY PLAYER THINKIN’

[@yasminafarih3681]

"I gotta stay in character"

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

Your profile pic is adorable

[@theroboticpotato]

Nubbys player is the author lmao

[@MrCompassionate01]

Always brightens my day to see this in my subscriptions box. Great reading as always. No spoilers please but I'm betting very few of those trainees are gonna survive.

[@TheTaleForge]

I read these as I narrate them, so my current bet is that they'll survive, but barely. The guardsmen are pretty determined about not fucking up.

[@pretzelbomb6105]

Or to mention they learned on of the most valuable skills any tabletop RPG party can learn: When it’s a good idea to run away

[@meandi8622]

Heavy and Crisp made a reappearance. Exit Wound Face and Charred Skeleton were them. I'm sure of it. Still watching.

[@Hailix4240]

The fella with the sword dunking the other guy was the kornate getting revenge on his murderer

[@gatordragon6140]

​@@Hailix4240 are we sure he was a kornate though? alpha legion are a bunch of shifty bastards so I could see them working for tzeentch or malal even but Korn? He absolutely hates that shady "hide in the shadows and destroy them from the inside" stuff. If anything I think he was pretending to be a kornate especially given how the "temple" looked

[@Hailix4240]

@@gatordragon6140 they literally called him a kornate cultist earlier bro. Haven’t watched it in a couple years but I don’t even think they knew his name, they just called him “the kornate cultist”

[@gatordragon6140]

@@Hailix4240 yeah the group of guardsman who know Jack shit about chaos and even less about the alpha legion call him a kornate. As I said i dont see any way Korn would take an alpha legion as a member due to their proclivity towards sneaky bs, people who worship Korn tend to just be "imma fucking cut you and this whole goddamned planet and bleed you out into the ditch to summon more demons" this alpha legion member seemed to to be more conniving than your standard Korn space marine

[@griffincrump5077]

the skeleton is crisp i'm calling it

[@nighteadge86]

I don't know how many times I've re listened to this hut I truly hope you get to finish this series

[@kalebs6201]

I live for the descriptions of the warp and entering and exiting it.

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

Jovial skeleton playing poker in the warp? I beleive we have an explanationt for the unlikely success of our crew.

[@sanguiniusse434]

Those kids they saved probably ended up as Big-E food :(

[@Taiyama2]

52:04 FUCK. It only now hit me that the burned skeleton and the man with the face wound are Crisp and Heavy respectively! The others must be the arch nemeses from their other adventures.

[@notawarpspawn2107]

I remember that ship

[@CatalanPhrase]

Awesome narration dude! Definitely got a sub from me.

[@TheTaleForge]

Thanks!

[@MapIeJam]

FLY YOU FOOLS 1:16:25

[@joshuawall646]

Cutter NOOOoooo!!

[@spookywizard1265]

these are some terrible tech priests

[@TheCraftedMine]

All Guardsman Party: *Nubby fucking buys a mini space hulk*

[@danielpryce7126]

I always wondered, who’s the narrator, are they a named member or a not very emotive player character.

[@TheTaleForge]

He's one of the characters, but Shoggy hasn't said which one.

[@ZarHakkar]

Daniel Pryce Small clues lead me to believe it is Sarge's player.

[@ThatGuyRBY]

Yeah, just the way he speaks about all the other soldiers compared to Sarge makes it seem like he's Sarge.

[@that1guy271]

I think its nubby due to elimination. if you watch the first few chapters/videos, it makes sense.

[@plink4861]

I dont think its nubby because nubby has walked away while the chapter focuses on the rest of the group

[@Amadeo790]

If this guys w ere space marines, they would be invincible. I mean their luck is outrageous.

[@yasminafarih3681]

Luck?!?

[@Amadeo790]

@@yasminafarih3681 they said it themselves how many times they just barely miss horrible gibbing death.

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

@@Amadeo790 And being Guardsmen, they attract death like a rotting banana attracts flies.

[@thebighurt2495]

42:06 I was gonna give those Daemonettes credit for trying, but did they really think the Guardsmen would buy it? I suppose they had no reason *not* to try.

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

You or whoever wrote this must like the starship troopers book

[@commanderdanielcousland9981]

Yeah this Arc feels like the movie Event Horizon.

[@pigl4t1]

Well the ship is called "occurrence border"...

[@samwhary5498]

Is every game of warhammer 40k like this? Cause I love it

[@Zerpderp0]

Only if you're a Guardsman

[@ObsidiaBlack1]

@@Zerpderp0 And sometimes it gets worse! :D

[@123123s3]

OOOOH now I know who the big guy with the sword is.....man I am slow.

[@vegacomplex8290]

I just realized that the nearly headless man and burnt skeleton are Heavy and Crisp.

[@Naidisbus]

Occurrence = Event. Border = Horizon. Event Horizon. It took me so, SO long to realize this.

[@karlwikman3874]

Favorite episode by far

[@rhyneredpanda5443]

The Occurrence Border kinda reminds me of the Millennium Falcon

[@that1guy271]

Or the event horizon.

[@chonkytemmi4652]

Yooooo, the skelly is Crisp, the faceless guy is Heavy, and the ghosts are the rest of the regiment, hella cool

[@gabrielc7861]

2:50 don't do that, that's how you contract Gellar Pox.

[@jeremylemings]

Wait, is this ship the one from Event Horizon?

[@singletona082]

It just clicked. The charred skeleto nand the corpse are heavy and crisp.

[@kaarpiv375]

Who made this ship? The sheer amount of shit can't be accidental. I mean, what purpose would a knarloc have on the ship? How'd it get there? How'd you keep it there? Why hasn't anyone sent this cursed ship to the poker room?

[@ObsidiaBlack1]

Basically, from what I've read of the Occurence Border on 1d4chan, it's a ship that _might_ have been around the block more than a few times, and has a certain... luck, about it. Basically, the reason the ship is in such a shambles is that.. well... sometimes the techs start working on a problem. Sometimes they die/go traitor/turn into a chaos sp- thingy, before they finish said repairs. Or said repairs were meant to be a stop gap and said techie had the above happen before he could do proper repairs. Now nobody knows what the hell's going on with the thing, as the only one or ones who did are now dead, so they slap their own patch on on it and go on as before, intending to fix it properly later. Then they have one of the above happen. Repeat for about 3-4 thousand years.

[@Rekishi12]

They were either insane or drunk when they made the ship. Or possibly both.

[@ObsidiaBlack1]

@@Rekishi12 Less the people who built the ship, more the people that's owned it.

[@katherinepurvin7802]

Well, there's a theory that it's actually the Event Horizon. Yes, THAT Event Horizon...

[@manueltoney7702]

This ship is haunted. By the way i am catching up slowly onto these so who dies later and goes to the poker room?

[@xaldrortenderofthevats8948]

1:00:30 you say that like as though you were getting good phone coverage.

[@jackmack4181]

26:00 heavy and Crisp?

[@demonkingsparda]

Y'know this is maybe the umpteenth time I've listened this series, and I'm just now putting two and two together. Is the demon Belakor? It's sounds alot like Belakor

[@kitchenjail3546]

1:27:57 famous, not really last but, words.

[@CommissarMitch]

We Boarded!

[@radfarlander]

I think Nubby must be based on Nobby Nobs from Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld books.

[@tristankeech4070]

skeleton was crisp and headless was heavy?

[@Ulfbhert9000]

such a helpful skelebro 42:00

[@fire-breathingturtledragon4513]

1:06:00 - He says that quite a lot, correct?

[@Awesomotron2k]

Sooo, I guess Nubby is not a PC?

[@TheTaleForge]

Nubby is very much a PC.

[@0SC2]

Supposedly, Nubby is the narrator’s PC.

[@jayglier]

I think depending on if a player cant be there or if their character is to injured they have back-up characters like either they added a new player for amy or docs player plays as Jim later on and nubbys player also runs fumbles

[@thyrussendria8198]

@@jayglier As far as I got it, main party includedn there were 37 PCs to pick from after the Darwinian Character Creation, with the only ones dying being the ones actually played after that.

[@jayglier]

@@thyrussendria8198 based on how some of the things work out Jim the AdMech was not originally a PC but was used as one for a mission or 2, Amy was not part of the original regiment, Fumbles was a NPC from a different mission. Also Only War has a system where you play as 2 characters to fill out a full 10 or so man squad

[@fwhagads]

but thing could be worse.... Me: HOW?!

[@karlwikman3874]

Still to this Day i still dont understand why The cogbois planned to blow up the gellar field BEFORE they went insane.

[@JCupgrade]

Was the tech priests it was the guy they brought the ship from that nubby black mailed

[@speeddemon7678]

I really wished you used the new thumbnail for these videos. Didn't come till much later, did it?

[@damonshiley9791]

So, who planted and setoff the the explosives?

[@MrControll]

The previous captain set the explosives as revenge for nubbie's over enthusiastic bargaining, they were set of accidentally by the tech priests not defusing them correctly.

[@bendowling522]

1:05:00 and that is why you don’t give your GM ideas.

[@cypher4783]

BEWARE OF KNARLOC.

[@supremepatriarchbalthasarg474]

53:30

[@jeroylenkins1745]

🌙💥

[@johnsteiner3417]

The reader voices it in a way that makes everything sound boring, which kills the story.

[@tactiti0n]

Lol, narrate it yourself then.

[@thyrussendria8198]

I personally think it fits the voice of a jaded guardsmen narrating his stories that are so insane that they are almost mundane to them

[@katherinepurvin7802]

Have you tried a different listening speed? x1.25 works well for me

[@cypher4783]

BEWARE OF KNARLOC.