THEY ARE TRIGGERING YOU!

[@chocolate70]

I’ve seen two different therapists and one mental coach during the past ten years. It’s amazing that you through your videos are doing a better job explaining and make me understand what I need to work on to HEAL. Big hug from a 53 year old woman in Sweden.

[@TopperPenquin]

We are set upon because of who we are and not anything that we do.

[@valentinageorgieva2917]

same here!❤

[@George-wx5nv]

Totally agree it’s amazing how her videos help you through the toughest moments ❤️

[@RaneeshaRamnanan]

I agree! Really appreciate her videos 🥰

[@pamchesler242]

Me too…and then I came to understand that there is no better teacher than those who have gone through the same experience… this also applies to physical issues that you are challenged with because my father 25 years ago had cancer and the doctors didn’t think he was going to make it and it was other cancer survivors who were the ones who gave him the support, and the advice he needed the most to help himself heal, and it works the same way with psychological issues or trauma. The best teachers are those who come through it and come back and advise you and teach you and coach you. They’re really people who were gifts to us because they have chosen to pay it forward… In the old days years ago, psychiatrist would medicate you when really what she needed was trauma therapy and advice on how to cope very sad that so many people have struggled for so long but at the same time there is more help on the Internet and hear on KZbin in there ever was in my entire life so the good part of that is if our children are experiencing it, they have access to what we didn’t many years ago …

[@riggo44able]

I am so grateful for your videos. It’s been a year now since “the breakup”, and I have made so much progress. Years of cptsd, have been brought to the surface, and I’m finally able cope with my feelings. Of coarse there’s a few others on KZbin, and my twelve step group. But you were there for me when I needed answers. You do a great job. It’s very humbling. Thank you Stephanie.

[@gorgeousjiji]

I don’t think that i can thank you enough to ur videos you are a really big help to me :(

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Sorry for the late response I didn’t know how to filter these comments. Thank you! I’m so glad I could help in any way!

[@HijadeDiosS.____..]

Yes, so true!!! they attack more when we just ignore them🙄

[@LittleBird888]

Needed this. I still have family members and people from my past like former friends and highschool classmates who try to trigger me and make me feel bad and insecure about myself and outcast me. I’m 49. I’m learning to not let other peoples intentional or unintentional negativity towards me get the better of me. I even had to get off Fb so I don’t let other peoples pages and on my own Fb trigger me. I even put my own thoughts in check so I don’t trigger myself because of my past and being alone a lot. Learning to take charge of my life. Thank you for your helpful videos!

[@yichispiritual]

Thank you - you helped me to take the first step to observe and collect info. Then I was able to shift my emotional state along the way. Eventually I collected sufficient info to decide to move on. And it was so powerful hearing myself telling him that was the end. Now, I am recovering!

[@mikeleuk]

Thank you Stephanie

[@aishai5626]

I think I need to play this video on a loop til I have it memorized. So helpful.

[@DavidOstoin]

I absolutely love your new look and feel and take on what I would say is the new you into well placed ideas that are greatly appreciated and needed. Thank you, Wish I lived in the same city as you for maybe live group sessions, I think that would have a great impact . D

[@DavidOstoin]

Thank you your a very wise person. I would love to meet you in person. Thanks again

[@Londonized]

This is so valuable, helpful and honest ❤. Can‘t say it enough times: Thank you so much - You‘re a wonderful „companion“ along the way of self-inquiry.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thank you!

[@emergeunitedbrandvarietee1134]

When are you doing @ live

[@lorithrall9847]

These are great tips. Thanks Steph

[@DavidOstoin]

I love what your saying and I'm only into this video 2 minutes, can't wait to finish it.

[@BuyingandSellingTN]

Needed to hear this

[@dotnb]

Thank you for this wonderful video, dear Stephanie!

[@deedeehoc]

You are saving lives.

[@CaseyAvalon]

Girl thank you! Feel like the bad comes with good teaching lessons, and way to learn about you, & everybody, too.

[@George-wx5nv]

Thank you so much Stephanie ❤

[@vadebonify]

Damn, you keep hitting the nail on the spot!😊

[@Diginixx]

I needed to hear this today. Thx

[@brentcastro10987]

Love your intelligence Stephanie

[@EM-vk1xu]

I really needed this 🤍 Thank you 🙏

[@scorpiochic2]

A new female neighbor moved in next door and we got in a disaagreement over her bf parking in fron of my unit where our CCSRs state no parking, I keep our runs ins short and cordial, but when I see them at outdoor music fest they get up near me and stare me up and down, it's hapened everytime they show up, I'm single older woman in great shape and I have fun..should I confront her or continue to ignore?

[@82ndabnveteran]

Perfect timing.

[@davebird534]

Stephanie , you mentioned when you're having a confrontation, where you feel your tensions rising and rising and you can't seem to rectify it with someone it's better to say the person I'm not feeling comfortable right now when this is getting a little out of hand I'm going to step out for a little moment so we can both calm down and talk about it. As a man with a narcissistic wife I can tell you that doesn't work for me. My wife will jump in front of my face she won't let me out of the room. She would jump in front of me and she will grab my arms or my hands. If I do manage to get away and get to the bedroom to lock the door. She will get the tools out so she can take the lock off and come in the bedroom and start her raging. Needless to say I'm no longer with this malignant narcissistic woman.

[@chilloften]

That’s how my mother is, she follow you to make sure she is seen and heard. It’s quite abusive and not healthy. This type of people I cannot plan to be around and stay healthy.

[@davebird534]

@maxsheerin8219 thank you for that Max you know I got a lot of girlfriends and I didn't married twice. I never had a woman this nutty

[@davebird534]

This nut is called the police on me three times it had me put in jail twice. The second time I was facing a felony charge. She had me and trapped and actually even got me so angry then I said something just enough to land me a felony charge attempted assault with a deadly weapon a 6-oz tack hammer Plus a count 2 domestic assault.

[@davebird534]

All I wanted was this nut job to go back to Guatemala after being married to this nutjob of years terrible very tight control horrible even publicly humiliating me at my place of work and in front of two hundred people at the church we attended. Three years later my mom died while we were separated she came from out-of-state to help comfort me. She asked me to come back and work on the marriage in another state where she lived . In a weak moment I agreed to try it for a few we fought all the way down to Tennessee in the U-Haul truck I told her that I was going to drop her off and I was going to turn the truck around and go back to where I came from 600 mi well she didn't like that! So what is a narcissist do when they lose control that happens to be a woman? Why call the police a third time and meet her husband into a trap at a gas station with three cop cars waiting! I'm not making this s*** up Max but I can tell you this I'm done

[@davebird534]

@maxsheerin8219 I had a weak moment Max, my mom's death really hit me hard. I guess I just wanted to test the waters for a week or two. But nothing is changed . She's truly a very evil vindictive woman.

[@pinkflower21]

This was great, thank you!

[@KimAllemang-h6m]

Thank you ❤

[@audioeins]

gosh dang it, steph, i am mad as hell and i am not going to take it anymore, network style :)

[@TheImperfectReader]

Thank you for this video.❤🎉

[@FlowWithRobin]

Perfect timing, thank you 💗🙏🏼

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

Thank you, I love yours videos !⭕️

[@moonlights9061]

Needed this ❤

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

This may be true, however, if you have to deal with the consequences of their behavior and they keep violating your boundaries, it does become personal, even if it's not your issue. You still have to deal with it...or not. 🥾

[@Creating2413]

Thank you- I am feeling this now 😢

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

@@Creating2413 fingers crossed 🤞 Good luck. Best wishes ❤️.

[@amybostic1439]

Steph- how do you get to this place fully? I try so hard but emotional hurt and betrayal and shock in watching or experiencing someone you were married to for 20 years turn into something ugly and cruel and you would never guess they were capable, is so hard and heartbreaking-especially when that behavior has your kids in pain and grasping for straws.

[@oliverrojas3185]

Thanks

[@Harry22233]

Thanks Stephanie!!! Have not left a comment in a while for sometime. Enjoyed the step by step process of this vid. And enjoyed the calling of "poor emotional health" when it comes to conversations and pointing out our needs. Thank you Stephanie Harry

[@Dethian666]

True

[@JOJO-fi4yr]

At what point do you say, enough is enough? I'm about to cut loose my best friend. She's an alcoholic and has BPD, ADHD, anxiety and depression, but has treated me crappily and has said things I'd never think of saying to someone, let alone my bestie! I was recently dxed with complex trauma from childhood, PTSD, anxiety and mild depression. I wholly believe I also have ADHD but was just shy of being dxed with it. My birthday was a few days ago. Although she sent me a, "Happy birthday, Jodi", there was not the usual little get together, a gift, cake or anything more said. Idk, is that too much to ask? She had a get together for herself because of going to FL for a month, but nothing was mentioned about my 55th or my dx during the night with others. When I got my dx earlier this month, all she posted was, "I knew you didn't have ADHD, but once you get something in your head..lol". I mean, no sympathy of what I was actually dxed of, which has since taken a toll on me. She hasn't asked how I'm doing, etc. I was to live there (her idea and insistence after she heard my housemate tell me she's bringing her Ill brother to live with her and will need my room. 3 weeks before I was to move in with my bestie, (and we had lived together b4 and got along great-she only wanted her office back because she started to work from home). she drops hints of me not living there. We didnt get in any kind of arguement and still always hung around. I was hurt and disappointed once again, and said, don't worry about it, I'll find a place. Of course, I find nothing and prepared myself to live out of my minivan, until a workmate offered me a place and it's been going great. Then my friend wants to know where I moved to? How come i wont tell her info and is all nosey. Totally turned me off and I felt like she didnt have a right to know at that point, so I was vague. I think she's upset I didn't give her info and that I am still a warrior and plugging along the best I can. I try to be happy, despite everything life has thrown at me. On my actual birthday, Thurs, we had a huge storm here in MI and trees came down in the yard, the power line actually landed on my car roof and have been trapped in our driveway due to the power line crossing. I posted on FB how things were and we were scared when the sirens went off and hovered in the basement, bracing ourselves for the unknown. I heard as far away from my friends in Germany but not ONE WORD of concern from my supposed bestie! She has affected my mental health so bad at times, I've gone to Al-Anon. She leaves for FL today and I just want to unfriend and even block her on FB and my phone. I have taken such shit from her for years, but I come back to her being a good person at heart and that she has mental health issues. But that still should not be an excuse for her behavior. She says she will never give up drinking. She causes drama with neighbors and others at times. The above was just a little sampling of her actions and behaviors toward me. We've been friends for a decade, but I think it's time to cut the cord. She will not change, so I think i need to change the situation and finally be done. I am tired if being her punching bag and having my heart hurt so much by her!

[@krista1735]

I think you have answered your own question in long form, Jodi. It sounds like you are describing my sister. After decades of making excuses for her and being a punching bag myself, dealing with manipulation, silent treatment, gaslighting, talking behind my back when she would get in moods (she was also diagnosed bipolar, depression, anxiety)… I had to make the decision the last time she expected me to chase her.. to just let her go. Love her from a distance. Because it’s not healthy. And sometimes holding on hurts worse than letting go. Truly. It’s been a few years now, and as terrible as it sounds to those who don’t understand… a huge weight and burden has been lifted from my life. I wish you all the best, but not one should feel like that from someone who claims to love you. Just thought I would speak on this one bc I can empathize. God bless!

[@JOJO-fi4yr]

@@krista1735 Krista, I am so sorry to hear that behavior came from your sister. I truly appreciate your response, too! I have had many sleepless nights over my friend, either worrying about her out of control drinking or her actions or words toward me. You know, we give our loved ones chance after chance after chance, but I feel like she wants me to react to start an argument and also be miserable and it hurts like hell. She is a very vengeful person at times and it seems especially with me, so I'm trying to be cautious with how i will play this out. Those close to us know our weaknesses. I had shared some texts of conversations between us, during the two years with my old doctor housemate I just moved from and she was flabbergasted and said, I don't know how you've kept a friendship with her. And, she's met her. So, I know it's just not me and sideways thinking. Again, I appreciate your words and God bless you too, Krista.

[@JournalMyExperience]

Hi Jodi, Reading your message felt way too familiar. Only a few months ago, i requested to my bestie that i need space to heal from a traumatic event. It was not my intention to do so but as we were having conversations so that i can feel supported through a tough time, i recognise she was making it about herself. She was doing what she’s always done: use my vulnerability and fragility in hard times to groom me to be prime for her future bidding. It’s very subtle i’d miss it if i weren’t paying attention. Here’s where your story felt very familiar: i know she’s been through a lot and i remind myself of that. However i use the latter to excuse her bad behaviour and force myself to spend time with her even though my health is suffering. i feel energetically drained, spiritually depleted & mentally fatigued. For a long time, i thought it was all me and she had nothing to do with it. i’d reach breaking points every few years where i’d need to take a break from her. Then i’d convince myself that she’s a great, caring, generous friend who has been through a lot. In doing so, i was perpetuating constant self-abandonment and not showing up for myself & my own needs. i am working on this now. And your response made me think again about blocking her on Facebook. i also haven’t done it yet. But taking space from her, i feel so much lighter and my energy is not being drained. It feels good. There honestly were good times with her but the overall impact was definitely, unequivocally negative on my mental health. Why should i have to pay that price for a friendship? Unacceptable!

[@JOJO-fi4yr]

@@JournalMyExperience It is quite unfortunate you and others can relate. These are people that are supposed to love us amongst the most in our lives. I know they say there are two sides to every story, but sometimes there simply is not. I think she may be narcissistic, too. I wonder how many of our family and friends who act like this are? I'm supposed to go to therapy as it is, but between procrastination and knowing all the feelings it will being up, I can't bring myself to do it yet. I tend to just shut down when things hurt too much or something becomes too overwhelming. It stems from childhood. I didn't truly think about it until recently, but that's been my pattern. It's what I'm doing now with her. I know if I confront her, it won't go as I hope and she'll just look for more ways to hurt me, so I'm protecting myself. I re-read what I first wrote to edit, and seeing my own words I thought, if someone else wrote this, I'd tell them this person is fucking toxic and to RUN far away! I pride myself on helping others in general (I have been a private-duty senior caregiver for the past 19 years) and being kind-hearted and generous, just like my late father. Maybe I expect others to be the same, but I also say the company you keep says a lot about us. Although, people in and out of her circle know how each of us are. Her words and behavior are UNACCEPTABLE and we, I need to take my own advice and RUN and then deal with her aftermath. Hence, why I want to block her in all forms. She does not know where I live now. I do not want to sound haughty, but she will one day feel the loss of me and our friendship. The only way I'd go back is if she stopped drinking and go back to therapy, knowing it's almost certain not going to happen. But, the ball would be in her court and I would find solace in knowing I put ME first and it was necessary to do so to have a better life. She told me recently to "grow up". Here's me "growning up".

[@kat-75]

Alcohol is a very destructive addiction. I'm sorry your losing your friend over it. A lot of people are lost to is that way.

[@Creating2413]

I am having a problem because when i need to take a break i am asked to show more interest 😅

[@baddyBless-gb9hr]

There's a student ready to meet a teacher...is the teacher still available?

[@kat-75]

How'd you guess that? I 😂 at them now

[@Creating2413]

What do you do if what is triggering you is trying to figure out the status of your relationship. My boyfriend does something that irritates me and it makes me question what is real. He also talks sometimes very abstractly and it is difficult to get words out of him. I dont know if i am being triggered by past wounds or if i am having problems with the current relationship. I found a counselor that I am going to try but I have thoughts in my head that bother me and I do not know if they are real. Some days i dont know if i want this relationship and other days i think i need to give it time.

[@Globwlone12]

The fact that you question the status of your relationship probably means you are in a relationship that does not meet your needs. Theres a thin line between being patient and wasting your time. You need to decide if you are getting what you need from your boyfriend. Its not easy but pain is inevitable wheather you stay or leave if he's not the right guy you will get hurt either way.

[@yichispiritual]

This sounds so familiar- maybe you can go back a little bit - not live together, or separate beds, or see each other less frequent, etc just to get more space.

[@Creating2413]

@@yichispiritual I appreciate the comment but that would just make things worse. I am not sure if I am describing it correctly but there are times I can let go and we can just be and I feel this sense of peace and wellbeing with him. I am starting to think it may be an unresolved issue from the past that makes me question this relationship unnecessarily. I am working with a relationship coach and it seems to help. I already have time to myself. He is on the road for work most of the week. I am finding that meditation, Journaling, spirituality and exercise helps me as well as to not focus too much on the relationship. The coach says she thinks I am caught up in the past and I feel that is true also. I really love our time together and I think in not answering me directly he was trying to get me to find the answers within me because he knew that would help me the most. (Rather than telling me something- I think he wanted it to be something I discovered or decided for myself)

[@DJAmir76]

Genius

[@priscillaaharper4078]

@StehpanieLynnCoaching you are so enlightening. We think alike. I have not had any training however I read and study on my own to keep myself on the straight path with God. I went through a very troubling marriage and divorce with a narcissistic sociopath and still deal with some things from time to time. I need these tips. Thank you.💖☮️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@matthewwozniak9138]

👍

[@ChicagoAnzuruni]

I don't know what music means Bozeman Hanover mobile I don't know about Messi logo nobody mess

[@ChicagoAnzuruni]

And just do it you choose you need to pay everything on me you feel better you know babe I'll be more muscle around you not make it right because I need to see everything I need today or tomorrow everything I need you like to pay any line yet just do it play everything I need now you better bring my my person where my person go anywhere not I do nothing why I do nothing where do em big empty play Don't Be Quick just be going to store not pay uwc band Florida United tomorrow Platinum Apartments everything at 10:00 pay tomorrow Eventbrite Mall pay everything just to this week just pay everything

[@normabreazile5500]

Stephanie, you’re videos have been a blessing to me! Thank you. I do have a question…would a person on the spectrum be more narcissistic bc their not able to easily process emotions and would be willing to work with their spouse to make it better, by guiding them through this process or would a person on the spectrum be just considered a narcissist?

[@BurnyChaplin]

I have to say I I need this advice and knowledge to better myself but I must say you are a pretty lady let alone being a smart one

[@DJAmir76]

Oh my God. Explaining pecularities As if she is a messenger. Kia refined composed woman hai yay 🤍👍🏼💯 kash main ap ko bohat pahlay sun choka hota.