They/Them Pronouns Explained

[@hehehe6166]

I identify as a Michael Jackson. My pronoun is "He-He".

[@atp1579]

Jajajajaja

[@narinadanielean399]

Thank you

[@williamproffitt6688]

Hi.. He he

[@olympicstudios4131]

😂😂

[@9ethercarbon-x237]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kyriejones6060]

One thing I do that I think helps me, and can help the people around me, learn to use they/them in a singular sense, is to use it to keep anonymity when talking about your friends/other people whenever gender is irrelevant (which is usually). Of course if these friends have other pronouns that they really prefer you use, you should use those, but most cis people won't mind they/them being used, especially when their name is left out of the conversation. It's really useful for when you don't have many non-binary people in your life to practice with AND helps keep people from guessing who you're talking about.

[@CarsonHughes85]

This is an interesting take. I wish I thought to mention it in the reaction video I just made for this video. I'm personally not a fan of they/them as singular, but I am in favor of the English language making one set of gender neutral pronouns for everyone. DO you not think that is enough, should people still decide their own? Also, if you ever want to be a guest on my show, let me know.

[@kyriejones6060]

​@@CarsonHughes85 It would be FANTASTIC if the English language adopted a set of non-plural, gender neutral pronouns as part of everyday language. That being said, not only does the use of neo-pronouns draw attention to them in a way that transphobes would be quick to pick up on and criticize, but the LGBT community, or other leading group, would have to agree on a set of singular, gender neutral pronouns to use for this. There are MANY different sets of neo-pronouns that could be introduced, but I really don't think it would be wise to add them all at once, just overwhelming. Using they/them in the singular is a much more subtle approach to normalizing gender neutral pronouns for the general population, which is why it's the approach I prefer to take. If you don't like using they/them as a singular, be the change you want to see, ask the non-binary people in your life what neo-pronouns they prefer and use those instead. I understand that it can be a difficult internal struggle to pick up language usage that was hammered out of you by teachers when you were young.

[@charlesquezada6370]

Me and my friend are gonna rob a bank and when I get caught I’m gonna use they/pronouns for my friend so the cops can think it was a group

[@Lugkkk]

Simply useless and confusing

[@shafixnote]

Why they/them people always looks like this

[@momsspaghetti-sd9sn]

You can't say all look like this cause you haven't met every person who uses they/them pronouns

[@Will.Flavell]

They/Them how does that describe one person that is so stupid

[@cthulhu_original]

They’re the new hippies of our time

[@momsspaghetti-sd9sn]

@@cthulhu_original bro what

[@momsspaghetti-sd9sn]

@@Will.Flavell "oh somebody lost their wallet "it's really correct and simple to understand it but because you don't understand it you're saying it's doesn't work like that which makes no sense

[@hpaulbryant729]

I do appreciate your pleasant tone in discussing this sensitive and personal matter. And, while I have reservations about using they/them, my heart and mind are open to the concept certain individuals do not feel their self-identity or "relationship with other people" fits within the masculine-feminine duality. For anyone who feels that way, "To thine own self be true." However ........... 1) Please consider the difficulty you impose on others when you're asking them (pl) to use they/them (sing). If you were not adept at using they/them for over a year, less motivated individuals (with less incentive to put in the same effort as you) may take much longer to gain your skill level in using they/them. Please consider problems with using they/them in certain instances. --- Unless there is a signal that someone else is non-binary, people who are uncertain about somebody's gender identification will reasonably struggle to know what they/them was intended to mean. --- When being introduced to someone new, not everyone wants to start the conversation discussing sexual identification. There is a bit of irony that a non-binary person, who does not embrace the normative feminine-masculine duality, compels another person, in the first instance, to consider the variations of this duality. --- The improper use of they/them can negatively effect other people --- even when the non-binary person is not present. Example. Using "they/them" with a person who identifies as a male or female can cause them embarrasment. Example, a man who does not exude obviously masculine traits might be extremely embarresed to being publicly referred to as they/them. It should be no surprise that men might chafe at a social order that results in an implied public questioning of their masculinity. ---- There are challenging social settings, where people struggle to just remember the "names," where the need to correctly identify they/them requires extra effort. In times where there is limited bandwidth, the proper identity of the non-binary can be at the expense of recognizing other people . ---- In public spaces, I have seen instances where the public announcements about the willingness to use they/them is simply viewed as a waste of time for people for whom this is not an issue. The cause of acceptqance is not furthered when people are forced to listen to announcements viewed as a waste of time. 2) Pronounds are used, instead of names, because it is a simpler and easier way to refer to another person. Forcing people to think abou the "they/them" option is complicating a form of language that previously allowed for simplicity. 3) It seems that the goal is to create a social order where it is "impolite" to misgender someone. This may help to "affirm" the feelings of non-binary and trans people. However, there is a potential cost. It seems to me that compelling others to use "they/them" is causing a backlash by people who might otherwise be indifferent to a person's sexual identification. Is asking/compelling others to use they/them worth the cost? That is a question each person must answer for themselves.

[@LygerTheCLaw]

i got a better idea, find a pronoun that makes sense when talking to someone instead. even it/it's makes more sense than referring to a single person as if multiples and is a non binary term i will use instead in its place.

[@neacienation]

Personally as somebody who works with children and vulnerable adults there is no way I would interact with somebody who looks there could be an issue with gender/species . I'm not here to be somebody's psychologist.But i'm here to be somebody's protector.

[@edelmirohernandez8667]

I identify as a billionaire. However, the bank doesn't see me that way. How can I sue them?

[@emmakaro4861]

try to change your hate to love. its much easier for others and you!

[@VanillaV4]

​@@emmakaro4861he never inflicted hate towards anyone Stop being a nazi

[@dramatikgroup3622]

@@emmakaro4861 He’s not hating. It was just a joke, but you see? That’s the problem here. You guys take them too seriously.

[@Will.Flavell]

@@dramatikgroup3622 Yeah I agree they have serious first world problems lol 😆😂🤣

[@lornachristian4215]

When you find out please let me know, lol. I can think of myself as a billionaire too, lol

[@apolloland259]

My pronouns are deeZ / nuts

[@Will.Flavell]

@@apolloland259 😆😂🤣

[@Anlinkcafe]

I have an odd question basically I want to know if the pronouns I use actually exists and I'm I allowed to use them : (he/them) dose this work?

[@missnaomi613]

If it feels appropriate for you,then it works!

[@Roryberry4]

Use whatever pronouns you want. Tons of people use those pronouns (although people usually spell it he/they)

[@kylegross1081]

Well of course, you can identify as anything. You could be a fire breathing dragon if you so desire!

[@NeyamStar]

​@@kylegross1081 ha ha

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

Yes it does! Pronoun sets are perfectly valid! I use They/Them, she/her, and other gender neutral pronouns when I'm with people who support and love for who I truly am and accept me for being Queer. Gender is a spectrum Nonbinary is also an Umbrella term Demigirl, Demiboy, etc, etc

[@beckheorshepls5397]

In the upcoming Monster High movie Frankie uses they/them pronouns as a major character. They introduce themselves with their pronouns to Clawdeen and she shares her pronouns to them as well. I hate how lightskinned Clawdeen is to her original toy though :/. I do hope this one of the things that helps normalize they as a singular pronoun.

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

:0 really? I don’t even like monster high but I might go watch that!

[@Light_Sahar]

As someone who english is not my first language, and im not used to speak with people, you are just making it soo complicated to understand. If someone say they or their I will definitely not think it's about one person . I'll think it's about More than 2 people. Honestly, it shouldn't be this way. You could add something more same as he she the, phe whatever just they and them doesn't make any sense By the way you are lovely

[@LygerTheCLaw]

don't go along with it then, if someone throws a fit about wanting you to speak improperly, walk away and don't interact.

[@Light_Sahar]

@@LygerTheCLaw I love people. I wanna engage and talk

[@LygerTheCLaw]

@@Light_Sahar some of us do, but when i am forced to form a conversation that makes zero sense to me it kind of becomes a negative point where i begin to question my desires.

[@smolmoru]

in germany we slowly start to implement "they/them", but it's still a little bit wonky, despite german and english being similar. german is sadly a very *very* gendered language, but new ways were and are implemented to neutralize it a bit. I personally prefer and use it/he it - cuz it's the closest to gender neutral. it's seen as dehumanizing tho, but I love it, since it's the closest pronoun to be void of any gender there is. like a sexless object and I'm genderless. so a perfect fit :3 he - to make it easier for my family and at work. after all "it" is seen as a slur by most people and since many people see my absolutely androgynous hobbit existence as female, I think the best way to neutralize that is to use "he" and "mr." at work. sidenote: commonly we don't use our first names on nametags or when talking to coworkers in front of customers. it's seen as rude and unprofessional here, so I have "Mr." on my nametag also I'm more compfy with "he" than with "they", but generally I try to keep gender out of my speech. definitely far from easy in german. over here a spoon is a he and a fork a she, cuz "der(masc) Löffel" and "die(fem) Gabel" lol

[@CarsonHughes85]

Smolmoru, I like the detailed thought you put into your philosophy on gender. Would you be interested being a guest on my podcast over a zoom call?

[@niemand7811]

In Germany? You are not German then. Because in Germany there is no use for this gender BS especially since we do not even make difference between sex and gender as it happens in the English language as of late. In Germany we have only one word: GESCHLECHT.

[@Princess01-p4w]

Pretty sure they/them started on the internet with forums. Because if you are talking to a user about another user and you don't know if the second user is a boy or girl, you refer to them as they/them, I do that all the time online.

[@tonyflags8968]

Q: How do non-binary samurai’s slay their enemies? A: They/them.

[@anvithequarsonist]

Apparently singular they has been in use since the 1300s, and longer than plural they. They’re also not that hard to use, you’d use them when talking about, say, people in general or someone who you don’t know the gender of.

[@CarsonHughes85]

True, but it's very selective cases and it's specific. It's similar to how British people add an "R" sound at the end of a word that ends in "A", but only if the next letter starts with a vowel. Language can be complicated, and change over time, but in my mind it should have good reason to change. I explain all of this in my reaction video to this one. Please check it out and share your thoughts.

[@amantedelcane420]

No

[@larsglania9244]

1. how do you know that they talked like that ? 2. we are no longer in that kind of time era ! 3. how many people coming ? those that means only one person is coming and you could realy say "they are coming" ? thats a total misstake you would make.

[@renandstimpy1642]

Nope not even

[@litatrilestari5031]

Why so hard to just accept your gender?

[@Will.Flavell]

Because some people are lost

[@Jon_Slurpy]

EXACTLY

[@FatemehDehghannezhad]

غلط ... در پی پیدایش خود واقعیمان هستیم .بنابراین در صورتی که در این مسیر به کسی اسیب نزنیم نباید هم مورد قضاوت قرار بگیریم .این حق ماست .که خودمان را زندگی کنیم و کلیشه ها و خرافات را کنار بگذاریم .​@@Will.Flavell

[@Will.Flavell]

@@FatemehDehghannezhad ?????

[@FatemehDehghannezhad]

@@Will.Flavell Wrong... we are searching for our true self. Therefore, if we do not hurt anyone in this way, we should not be judged. This is our right. To live ourselves and leave stereotypes and superstitions aside.

[@nexty10]

*Beginner lesbian unlocked!* _+vest_ _+denim shrots/skinny pants_ _+nose piercing_ _+short hair (maybe blue)_ _+glasses_

[@ItsNikoHIMself]

You forgot these fokn sideburns 🤙

[@greenkoopa]

I'm not a cis person im just a person

[@granolabar8432]

So are trans people. We're all people in the general sense of the word but if we were to get scientific and nerdy, then we're either cis or trans.

[@vstro_i]

Anyone who is confused with the singular/plural debate I shall give an example: A: My friend told me something B: what did they say? We know that the friend is singular, they is singular too since we don’t know which friend or their gender. If you’re against it then my example might bring too much attention to the debate but the truth is you’d probably use it self-consciously. If you used he/she I’m guessing that’s conscious

[@niemand7811]

Your friend told you something. What did this friend say? I never use the plural or royal they on a singular person without blue blood. So I do NOT use they self consciously.

[@516tigergirl]

I’m so glad you made this video. My mom is confuse with the they/them pronouns. I tried explaining it to her but she still doesn’t get. She sad it not proper English and they/them is not a singular. I might show her this video, maybe it will help.

[@imagynary2516]

Good luck! If you do show it, could you update us on how it went?

[@tintin6291]

Someone isnt a they. Thats the problem.

[@CarsonHughes85]

516tigergirl, if you want to get an idea of how your mom might feel, check out the reaction video I just made to this video. I'm supportive of people being non-binary, my kid is non-binary, but I do see concern in expecting others to change the way they talk. I hope my video helps clear some of that up.

[@tintin6291]

@@CarsonHughes85 actively engaging in child abuse I see

[@CarsonHughes85]

@@tintin6291 how is that child abuse?

[@JK_JK_JK]

If the person is an amalgam of two or more persons, I would use "they", but if a single person, that person may select from "he", "she", or "it".

[@ByGraceThroughFaith777]

It is hard because you are ONE person, not MANY, so you cannot appropriate a Plural pronoun and expect people to refer to you as if you were a group of 2 or more. It makes no sense, and it is an enforcement on other people's use of the language, that I now have to figure out if THEY or THEM means only one person or multiple. It's ridiculous. I identify as incapable of doing that, cuz when I say "They are coming" I don't care what gender they are, it only means that more than one individual are coming. And you cannot pretend to deprive the meaning of a prural pronoun to now be also a single pronoun, because it defeats the purpose of having prural pronouns in the 1st place. Choose a different word, not an already established one, that's all.

[@NeyamStar]

But people do use "they" when talking about a person they don't know the gender of?

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

Exactly Neyam, this is just a fucking bigot trying to puke out whatever bigoted fucking bullshit they could mus- Oh! I used they! see how easy it is

[@larsglania9244]

@@NeyamStarwho use they ? they who ? who are they ? who is who ? them are they or they are them and who is them ?

[@NeyamStar]

@@larsglania9244 people, you and me, everybody else

[@larsglania9244]

@@NeyamStarSo you use force on me by telling me i am them ? I am not like them okay i will defend that point. i am like my self, not what they want me to be. you see its realy confusing for me when i need to call someone "they" or "them" its like i speak with more people then one human indivitual. and that proofs the point that "they" and "them" cant be used on "single, solo, one indivitual".

[@pyenygren2299]

As a scandinavian it is confusing with they/them for third person singular, AND I can learn.

[@CarsonHughes85]

But should people have to?

[@pyenygren2299]

@@CarsonHughes85 Yes, people should have to learn.

[@CarsonHughes85]

@@pyenygren2299 why?

[@pyenygren2299]

@@CarsonHughes85 Tell me what is your problem. And yes, I want to know. For real.

[@CarsonHughes85]

@@pyenygren2299 it looks like maybe my comment disappeared, but I did a reaction video to this video. I’d love to hear from you in the comments over there.

[@garklein6267]

Dis she just assume the gender of her cat

[@gopitakhellambam2169]

I identify myself as John Cena

[@beckheorshepls5397]

I think a video about gender neutral pronouns in other languages would be cool, the pronouns definitely exist and it's really cool.

[@CarsonHughes85]

I talk about this topic in the reaction video I just made to this video. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you end up checking it out.

[@GR-le1ms]

That will never work for romance languages such as Spanish. Spanish uses female and male gender for everything. There is no such thing as non binary.

[@granolabar8432]

Heyy I'm Indian, and in hindi and Punjabi we have quite a lot of gender neutral pronouns. Actually, our own god doesn't have any gender(I'm Sikh and I'm talking about Akal Purakh🙏). It's explicitly stated in our books that god has neither a gender nor a colour(race). Not a body, not even a line. So our language, Punjabi, includes various ways of being gender neutral towards others. Especially when we're addressing god and elders, we use gender neutral pronouns. Same in hindi. "Tusi ki kar rahe ho?" "Tum kya kar rahe ho?" Means: "what are you doing?" In Punjabi and then hindi in a gender neutral (also considered respectable) way. It can be used in normal everyday language

[@granolabar8432]

Tu ki kar rhi hai? (Feminine) Tu ki kar reha hai? (Masculine) Tusi ki kar rahe ho?(Gender neutral) These are some ways in which "what are you doing?" Can be said in Punjabi while using pronouns.

[@beckheorshepls5397]

@@granolabar8432 ooh that's cool!

[@niceguymachine]

“I’m sorry” is a horrific statement. If a person wishes to express regret for something that he/she has done wrong, the applicable statement is “I apologize.” However, neither are applicable in the case of mis addressing a person wearing a costume.

[@williamschnl]

imagine this 'they' miscommunicated in a military operation. how many scenario things could go wrong

[@matthewwhaley4614]

I’m confused. They/them is used to reference more than one person…it has nothing to do with gender.

[@TheFormallyknownas]

How do you know that your cat prefers he/him?

[@Airdash5678]

That a good point

[@lucasstrople4767]

Projection.

[@wisdomrain1239]

I have a few non-binary friends and I don’t understand how it’s difficult. Since it’s a gender neutral term it’s just natural for me lol

[@CarsonHughes85]

It might be natural for you, but it's very understandably not natural for most people. I explain in detail in my reaction video.

[@walkingcorpse1224]

It's because non-binary people don't exist and so whether it's natural or not it's jusy ridiculous to a point where people aren't gonna go along with it.

[@SwitchbackSylveon]

I have a non-binary person in my class, they're quite cool to be around and would like to be friends with them, they're also quite good at photoshop. Also I would quite like to see a video on neopronouns, I want to be a better ally and I think knowing more about them and how to use them in a sentence would help

[@Addy-gx8xl]

I’m a french non binary, and i’m learning english but the pronouns they/them confuse me. In french, we use sinngular neutral pronouns, but in English you use a plural pronoun, so i don’t know what to say after it: they are or they is? Because it’s still only one person (well except if they have a DID) and it sounds really strange to me, but i don’t want to make any mistake

[@A6R90]

It would be they are, and it could be shortened to they're.

[@Addy-gx8xl]

@@A6R90 thanks X)

[@tintin6291]

Dont listen to this video. You cant use they like that.

[@donharris8846]

Sorry if this seems harsh, but what makes this seem gimmicky is that 10 years ago, no one was on the they/them, ve/ver, etc. wave. This makes it seem as though we are just witnessing a copycat effect via social media. There is no way that people across America (not the world) are just independently deciding to change “their” pronouns, instead it’s likely that they got the idea via social media from someone else and decide to follow.

[@inutero000]

that’s exactly what’s happening

[@sirwaddlesway7865]

remember tom boys and guys who are flambioent or cross dress but know what they are. Male and female.. it was that simple back then where chicks can still do guy stuff and act like guys but they view them selves as still chick? Same when guys. Me and my friend get into the topic of they/them all the time. And it still has its flaws. Like in a convo when you are referring to someone. Yeah you can can use it. And I get the whole english ''they,them but really its not used as a non binary thing. until recent. And I feel the word cis male or cis female has to be made up because woman can act like guys hence tomboy, and guys can act like chicks. or feminine if they roll that way. Hope any of this make sense?

[@elliot20]

Why’d you put quotes on “their”?

[@sirwaddlesway7865]

@@elliot20 i guess refering to the non binory people.

[@elliot20]

@@sirwaddlesway7865 it’s like he’s scared to use they/them at all, even when referring to a group of people 💀

[@AnthroFiend]

As a gender nonconforming person myself, I do still slip up and misgender people sometimes, but the more I practice using the correct pronouns and the more I’m around other gender nonconforming people, the easier it becomes. Also, as someone who uses multiple sets of pronouns (I’m he/they/she), it feels really validating when people use more than one pronoun for me. I’m comfortable with he/him, and most people default to that because I’m AMAB and “look like a boy.” But when I hear someone use they or she I get a rush of euphoria because I know that person is listening to me and cares.

[@stevencarr4002]

Well said sir.

[@AnthroFiend]

@@stevencarr4002 Thanks! (Although I’d prefer not to be called “sir.”)

[@demjin_32]

I have a friend who came out as nonbinary about a year ago. Retraining by brain to use they/them pronouns for this person came very easily, but I keep accidentally addressing them by their deadname. I always feel really bad and apologize immediately however I’ve known this person for nine years, so I’m just so used to their old name it’s hard to remember to use their gender neutral name. It makes me feel awful. They know I’m trying and completely understand, but I still feel really bad…

[@johnwayne7673]

well you shouldn't because your feeding into a delusion

[@demjin_32]

@@johnwayne7673 In the nicest way possible, no. The delusion is that people only think or act a certain way and that if we don’t fit into that perfect cookie cutter pattern, we need to suppress our emotions and pretend to be something we are not. You do not have to like or appreciate the way that we think or act, but that does not mean you should say things like this that purposefully hurt other people. Why would you put time and effort into clicking on this video if you do not agree with the ideas presented in the video?

[@DecemberHeath]

​@@demjin_32Exactly! I use They/Them pronouns and part of me is scared because what if people decide I'm crazy or just don't use said pronouns.. 😭

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

Hey there! Trans/Nonbinary here, I would kill to have a friend like you... Thank you for being a loving, caring, supportive, and accepting ally of a friend

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

see Paris here, I love them

[@Omneyvdwatering]

In my native language it's a bit weird as it's zij and zij. Which is female and plural. It indeed is amazing when they address you the right way. Also when they make an effort.

[@smolmoru]

my native language has the same problem. we have sie and sie for female and plural. also Sie for formal wording

[@HyperNovva]

oh hello fellow dutch person (unless it's the same in some other language lol) but it's that way in dutch too (which is my native language) and yeah it's weird

[@johnwayne7673]

I just think it's all a bunch of made up nonsense because that's exactly what it is

[@best_of_ant]

Excited to see this tonight! 💛🤍💜🖤

[@JP-ku3he]

I really hope this weird crap goes away

[@CosmoNolo]

it won't bro

[@DemonDog444]

It already is going away.

[@animetells3535]

Really? Where do you have this infos from ​@@DemonDog444

[@LygerTheCLaw]

they three. i mean me three. sorry i confused myself with all these pronouns.

[@lmckrosen123]

Ze four. Or is it zem? Them? Sorry. I learned the English language nearly 60 years ago and I never signed up for a new semester. I mean ovester. Semester indicates a preference to semen over ovaries and I don’t want to offend anyone.

[@sarahcarstairs8141]

Hey Lynn and other lovely folks! Does anyone have any advice or resources for addressing transphobic and and not lgbt+ friendly language in the workplace? I am a relatively new employee and have experienced people saying negative stuff that I have a hard time ignoring but don't know how to address in a professional setting especially being a newbie. Thanks

[@CarsonHughes85]

Do you have any examples of the concerning language?

[@williamproffitt6688]

Yes learn to not be so easily offended.. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you..

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@sarahcarstairs8141 who are you, that the employees need to adjust their own language to accommodate your feelings?

[@peanutaj7]

What about addressing they them directly? What is hard is talking directly to them and using he or she? Definitely trying to accommodate to make everyone feel comfortable!

[@IsabellaDrake-n4g]

I have been in a very masculine mood for a couple days now. I feel like I should have noticed sooner if I wasn't just a girl, but a lot of things clicked for me as a questioning genderfae. The euphoria I get when I play androgynous characters (or that I can secretly headcanon as such) in video games, or how I don't feel as comfortable having breasts even though I usually love them. I related to your demigirl video a lot...

[@Pikle.]

every time someone gets mad about other people’s pronouns i feel like im gonna have a brain aneurysm

[@bdariamihaela]

In english is very easy to use, but what can I do, romanian has so gender neutral pronoun, when I talk about non-binary people I try as much to not use any probouns and say their name, other way would be to call them "elea" wich is just a translated version of heshe, so I'm stucked and idk what to do, lucky for me I talk more about this stuff in online foreing comunities where is a releaf that I can use they

[@stevencarr4002]

Pronouns are very easy to use. Example. 'Did you speak to Jamie and Kamala yesterday?' 'I spoke to them, but she wasn't there.'

[@ironboi7359]

Great vid lynn! Also love the hair, it really suits you!

[@danielglazewski9134]

But why plural tho? Me don't really understandings...

[@9ethercarbon-x237]

And can somebody tell me who they and them are? I’m really missing something and the people who wants to call themselves by these terms can’t explain it in a way that makes sense. It’s like all made up regardless of the rules for grammar

[@clintosfan]

When someone says they use they/them pronouns, we know exactly what you are, what political party you favor, what mental disorders you have like DID anxiety and depression, there’s nothing unique about you, you’re just one of “them”

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

Thank you Lynn, as a Trans/Nonbinary person and individual, I keep getting deadnamed and misgendered

[@Burnt_Gerbil]

Singular ‘their’ is ambiguous. It can be used when referring to either male or female. ‘Nobody in their right mind would do _______.’ It’s either or. The term ‘androgynous’ makes more sense to me.

[@CHALDEXPRESS-zi8fu]

Originally, the neutral pronoun "It" is positioned between "She" and "He". However, there are negative opinions about it as it generally evokes associations with animals or objects. While "They" is plural, using it for singular can lead to confusion in conversation. Substituting "They" for "It" is grammatically incorrect in English. So, how can we coexist? The answer lies in reusing the Old English term "Hit". "Hit" is a third-person singular neutral pronoun that, when viewed from a modern perspective, evokes human qualities and conveys notions of strength and success. Though an old word, it has a casual charm. Let's make this word popular again.

[@GR-le1ms]

They and them are plural pronouns. You're obviously not an English teacher.

[@hannahkarlynacapiral4295]

why not use "it"

[@mateusz5872]

Because that's not grammatical

[@itsniqilisitsme4701]

It is grammatical and many of my fellow Nonbinary friends use They/It, Although my friend is AGender which is why they use it, they also use neopronouns

[@cobyhamilton5856]

Question how come you used the word boy when introducing your cat? Wouldn’t it be just they are the cutest cat?

[@robdm9838]

The grammar is irellevant. There isn’t a third state of being. You are either man or woman.

[@JessM.93]

Do "They" have to pay double for everything or do "They" get half off? 🤔

[@hazelrush]

I am very supportive of the LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY. However, I am also 56 years old. Relearning basic English and everything that I've been taught for so many years is very difficult. You are young and these words are easy for you. My point is that there are a LOT of people out there trying to learn and be respectful. However, while asking others to respect you, please respect us. Don't immediately become angry or defensive or offended when we get it wrong. Be patient, as we will with you. Educate us kindly and know that some of us are trying.

[@randomtravels1429]

THEY THEM in the first person is WE. Shouldn't you use WE instead of "I"?

[@9ethercarbon-x237]

Another thing when we use the word there in a sentence “like I’m going to watch their dog” aren’t we using different types of words they’re and their? I’m trying to figure this out and not make this sound backwards the way y’all be talking about it

[@Lara_chuntaro]

I'm proud of you that you are talking about such an important topic which is soo often misunderstood

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

The comment "I don't care about their gender, you can't use they/them for a single person." still keeps me awake at night. It's mindmelting how people who complain about pronouns use "they/them" is the sentence complaining about pronouns. You... you... you literally... you literally used singular they them right there.

[@tintin6291]

Yes but YOU are not a they you can say they as in "they went to the store " but thats talking about two or more people. Not one. A person cant be a they and once you know what sex they are then calling them.they is no longer correct.

[@CarsonHughes85]

Ezekiel, yeah I think they just didn't think it through. It can be singular and plural, but, it's in a very specific way. There is still an effort needed to use it for NB people.

[@CarsonHughes85]

@@tintin6291 Wrong.

[@LauraReed-wu2ww]

​@@CarsonHughes85no...it's plural Idk what school district taught you differently but they (meaning the multiple people who ran it) were way wrong

[@niemand7811]

Their/they/them as in plural form: multiple people getting giddy about their gender.

[@КлубникаВроде]

напишу на русском потому что мне лень идти в переводчик. меня пугают люди, которые поддерживают это в комментариях, меня пугает сам факт существования таких местоимений, и если раньше в детстве я очень хотела в америку, то сейчас я рада, что так далеко от нее. люди, вы адекватные??

[@cassandraflannigan7489]

I respect everyone's gender pronouns and sexual/romantic orientation or lack there of I would consider myself to be a supporter of the lgbtqia+ community I also identify as aromantic but Im heterosexual as well

[@CarsonHughes85]

@ᵃʳᶜʰⁱᵉ but what is romantic attraction?

[@BillGrubb-kw1je]

The real question is, and I thought this was the 1st person to actually explain it to me but why, “they/them”? Is it because they feel like 2 ppl living in one body? Why pluralize a singular thing? Please explain (if able). Thanks.

[@MrPseudos1]

they/them are epicene pronouns, basically neutral-alive, and singular "they/them" were like, from 1300s, muuuch earlier than singular you. so yeah it ain't pluralism, it just a pronoun.

[@susejrafecas7469]

My pronoun is it/its. I identify as being an object

[@Will.Flavell]

Lol 😆😂🤣

[@worawatli8952]

In my language, Thai language. First person pronoun (I) has sooo many words. Both male/female and gender neutral. 1.These are male words. ผม( pǒm), normal formal speak, can use in most situation, but not with your friends. กระผม(kra pǒm) very formal speak, posh kind of word, not many people use it. อาตามา (attama) monks and priests use it, there isn't this type of word for female because female are exclude from priesthood in Thai Buddhism. It was very later that we have female monk, still a lot of people don't accept them or revere them as male monks. เกล้ากระหม่อม(klāo kramǿm) 2.Then there are female words ฉัน(chan) normal formal speak, can use in most situation, somehow, it works with friends too, but not that popular. ดิฉัน(dichan) very formal speak, posh kind of word, not many people use it. หม่อมฉัน (mǒm chan) for talking to monk, again, it is result of male dominant religion culture here 3.And these are gender neutral words กู (kū) , for friends only, quite rude word to use for other people that aren't close to you, I don't like it as well, it is more of asserting dominant kind of word. lol ข้าพเจ้า(khāphajao) very formal word, more often use for letters and very important speak, like apology letter or resignation and other serious matters. ข้าพระพุทธเจ้า (khāpraputtajao) the same as above, but more formal, more asserting improtance of the message. เรา (rao) , it is like "we" in English, but singular, if we want to use "we" prural, it is พวกเรา(phūak rao). Phuak is literral translate as "group". And you see, I haven't move on to 2nd or 3rd person pronouns and we have so many words to choose. I alternate between them a lot, and people aren't confuse because our language lack grammars. lol

[@港完]

It will be confusing, they means more than one physical person.i reapect one might have two gender identity but physically is still one.

[@9ethercarbon-x237]

I know I keep posting, but I’m really trying to figure this thing out and sis when people use those terms and every day sentences we really just be using bad grammar sometimes that as people in society talk with lazy tongues and that’s it…… it’s like y’all really reaching it seems and is quite rude to try to force someone else to call you by some thing that you just made up for yourself when let’s be real gender determines lot to say it doesn’t exist huh are we robots because that’s what y’all are starting to try and sound like but y’all say non-binary but then completely act like a bot in terms for yourself 🤦🏿‍♂️ so help me understand what y’all are saying I really don’t want my children thinking backwards like this it’s gonna make life hard when they’re old

[@jamozmynamoz6516]

Seriously why is youtube so full of hate? 99% of the comments are just hateful. At least the creator is getting their engagement up but like what the hell is it really that hard to use they/them

[@adhisell3785]

i'm indonesian people who try to learns pronoun in english for task on my studies. And what the fu*k i found most in the internet? they discuss the importance of pronoun for LGBT!!what the hell?? i just wanna try to learn simple she and he why became non binary f*ck things? whats wrong with you all?? you were born with 2 gender options, boy or girl, why make everything complicated with brainless LGBT? What is the genital form of LGBT? Why do you ask for an exception? So whatever and I don't care about your gender neutral choice. But clearly it annoys people who want to learn English simply.

[@ItsNikoHIMself]

They are not hateful, they just point out the bull💩.

[@janky27]

Can I go as he/them as a nonbinary person? I'm lost on this and questioning to hell and back

[@HyperNovva]

yes absolutely! Though the grammatically correct way to phrase it would be "he/they" instead of "he/them" (as far as I know) ☺️

[@AmethystOrlando]

My mum started off being unsure how to grammatically use they/them pronouns whilst I had zero issues.

[@ByGraceThroughFaith777]

Cuz they and them are prural pronouns. If I say to you "they did this to me", how on earth would you know if it was one person or many without now having to specify whether it is singular they, or plural they? It makes zero sense. They should've picked a different pronoun, or create a new one, not redefine an already established one that serves a very necessary and specific purpose, which is to differentiate ONE person from MULTIPLE persons, regardless of gender.

[@MrPseudos1]

oh i'm so sorry lil' bro​, but singular they were earlier than singular you, hope you have a nice day :)@@ByGraceThroughFaith777

[@ChitrakChattopadhyay]

My mother tongue has gender neutral pronouns. I had to specifically learn gender pronouns for English. Now I have to unlearn and relearn again😂.

[@georgepipito5471]

How did you know the gender of your cat?

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

Male and female. Everything is either male or female. Period!!

[@Will.Flavell]

Yeah damn right

[@Lara_chuntaro]

Actually no. Even in regard to people's biological sex which has nothing to do with gender and identification there is something between male and female.

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@Lara_chuntaro can you explain what you mean? In between?

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@Lara_chuntaro tools and plugs are also male and female

[@sshepy124]

well no. you can't choose what gender someone is

[@garywilliams3419]

'They' implies more than one person. By that,it seems like someone is saying that 'they' are at least twice as important than anyone else in the world. Get off your high horse. You are at least half as good as any person who stands up for their own REAL self.

[@waqashaider3258]

There should be gender-neutral pronouns, such as "ze/zir" (singular, unlike "they/them"), and they should be widely adopted. That's it! I don't need to know whether you have a d*** or a v*****, or who you sleep with. Shouldn't need to memorize hundreds of pronouns!

[@lmckrosen123]

She might be cute if she grew out her hair.

[@港完]

I still don't get it, why make it so complicated

[@kiyaleelevyrunaya9495]

I'm all pro everyone wanting to be whoever they chose to be. But why does it need be expressly made this difficult? They/them referring to 1 person is confusing as hell, because your first thought is too look for more than 1 person. Once you've figured out it's just the one; your mind automatically goes "so, shizo? 🤷‍♂️" because that's multiple personalities in 1 person. But no, it's about identifying as 2 genders. Who tf would ever come to that conclusion without a hint of information? Literally no one. Why not invent a new word instead? There's: He/him for men She/her for women It for things and animals They/Them/us for groups So, y'know; Invent a new one. Don't just steal the way we have all talked about groups a for thousands of years, and then call us offensive when we can't figure out that you as 1 person see yourself as more than 1, because when we grew up; that was schizophrenia 🤷‍♂️ There's absolutely no need to make it this complicated, ya'll doing that on purpose. It's that unclarity, the complicated nature you force it to be; why so many have such a hard time adjusting to this. Why not call yourselves Q's and Y's? Where is she going? Female Where is he going? Male Where are they going? Groups Where is qu going? Trans, maybe? 🤷‍♂️ Where is yai going? Double genders, maybe? Or; he, she, de, ke, etc ?? I don't fkn know. Just stop with the confusing bs. You're helping no on with that, from either side. Not even people like me, who wànt to support you all; but ya'll making it so g'damn hard for absolutely no reason.

[@BluejayStudios334]

Does anyone else have parents that don’t believe in this stuff or say it’s a regard of this generation making things up because mine does and it drives me crazy a lot to see how ignorant and an ass she’s making out of herself the time will come where she’ll be forced to accept this truth

[@SEIKOCASIAN]

Forced? Why? Because she's pointing out exactly what she sees? It's not just your mom who would say that. Unfortunately, the rest of the world behaves the same way, so don't disrespect her for minor things. I don't believe she would say anything without you whining next to her. By avoiding this subject, she is actually choosing peace.

[@MrPseudos1]

who is "she"? author of the video uses they/them...

[@lovesings2us]

Thank you! This video i really helped me. I make a lot of mistakes with pronouns at this point so I'm determined to practice and improve. I think it'd be wonderful if you decided to make another video on some of the other nonbinary pronouns, like the ones you showed us. I use different sets of pronouns for myself including ze, zir zirs, and I'm not even sure why I use them, except they make me feel free. Thank you for showing us your lovely cat.

[@lovesings2us]

Sorry for the typo! I meant to say, "This video really helped me."

[@halflife352011]

I have a shorter explanation. Bored cushy western narcissism.

[@cyrlangaming]

Why not create your own pronouns and not using they/them? Like Xe/Xie, we use they/them for plurals and this is already being taught to English for over a hundred years.

[@MrPseudos1]

yeah, only for a hundred years, while they(singular) are like from 1300s

[@ItsNikoHIMself]

These pronouns remind of toddlers refering their parents as "da da" before being able to think and speak.

[@SooziinCa]

Don’t be so sensitive because some people don’t get it OR don’t want to get it. A lot more important issues out in the big world.

[@graysonwalker]

Multiple personality use they them

[@mateusz5872]

Keep the struggle, I root dor you to lose the multiple personality disorder, keep fighting

[@janemarshall316]

How many non binary people are around?

[@greenkoopa]

Tldr: Words dont mean anything and we can use whatever word we want for whatever thing we want because you can choose to decline the accepted common English and do your own thing.

[@Ward1859]

I am an effeminate gay male who came out in my 20s in the 1980s, except to my parents. When my mother would ask me who I was going out with on a Saturday night, I would always say a friend of mine from school and only refer to him as "them" to hide his bio-sex. The pronouns "she" and "he" refer to bio-sex. And none of my dates would be "she". Years later, when I was "out" to my mother, she told me that she guessed I was trying to hide things from her by my use of "they/them" pronouns. The use of "they" as a singular has become more common since the 1960s. And when the actual bio-sex or trans-gender of a person is unknown, then the use of "they" is perfectly acceptable because the phrase "she or he" is too cumbersome. However, when the bio-sex or trans-gender of the person is actually known, then "they" would not be appropriate. Using "they" to describe a known person keeps that person as an object, rather than a subject. For example in these sentences: [I am unfamiliar with your friend. Who are they?] Both the "friend" and "they" are descriptors of some person about whom little is known by the speaker. That "friend" remains objectified. And since we would still say, "who are they", rather than, "who is they" because "they" is predominantly used to refer to a group, the singular "they" keeps the person objectified just like a group of people are more objects rather than individual subjects. Once the bio-sex or trans-gender of the person is known, that person becomes more of a subject, more personal. So, the use of "they" as a singular for a known person would actually be impolite as it tends to objectify the person. At that point we would use "he" or "she" as in: [My friend is a trans-gender woman. She and I graduated from university together.] I will say that I would disagree with using "they" to describe postmodern philosophical non-genders, as these categories are imaginary. There is no evidence of a gender spectrum in humans. How a person expresses bio-sex may be wide and varying. But the science is clear as to humans being males or females. And there is sufficient evidence that supports the existence of the brain dysphoria of truly trans-gender women and trans-gender men. And the polite use of "he" or "she" as pronouns for trans-gender persons is appropriate. And this would be true regardless of how far the trans-gender individual has transitioned. Sincerity is important. I learned that from my mother. So, let me be clear, I remain convinced that there are people with true trans-gender dysphoria. There are just not very many of them. The postmodern trans idea, which has recently exploded onto the scene, that someone is both female and male or is neither female nor male remains in the imagination or spirituality of the holder. And in polite society, there is no obligation for non-believers to deconstruct the English language to satisfy other people's imaginings. The one limited exception to use "they" for a known person would be for that extreme minority of people who are born intersex. And in that case if their sex is not deducible from outward appearance and general conversation, then just respectfully wing it and hope for the best.

[@nataku313]

If you would be open to talking about it. How dose she / her not work for you? Or hurt / make you not feel whole of like your self ? - I’m %100 asking to learn and grow.

[@HyperNovva]

She/her pronouns are typically associated with women. Lynn is non-binary and due to this they may get gender dysphoria (a feeling of discomfort that comes from an incongruence between your gender identity and biological sx, or from the incongruence between gender identity and the gender society perceives you as, like in this case) when being referred to as "she" or "her, since it kind of implies they're a woman which they are not idk if that was a good explanation or not but I hope it helps! ☺️

[@sheesh578]

Still don’t get it. Pretty soon all this will be a college course, if not already.

[@jeffreyokun2355]

Wait, your cat is a he? Shouldn't the cat lovely as it is also be called with gender neutral terms if we are advocating for the adoption of them?

[@xvq8080]

Thank you, Lynn. So many people being ignorant with this thing and said using they/them are stupid. It's like you want to borrow someone pencil and you said please use it carefully. And then they break the rule. That's the example of how misgendering look like. Like you need to ask their pronouns first before you call them. It's used so hard for me to use they/them at first because I raised at bigots country. But I hope this info is useful someday. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@niemand7811]

I identify as Sith. My pronounce are you/die.

[@Sproutt]

I absolutely dont eat BBQ! Only a Sith would deal with absolutes

[@trippytigertony5520]

So question without people getting all offended. If they/them refers to a third pronoun why not make up something? I mean these words are madeup but so complicated that only diehard keyboard warriors from like the extremist part of the lgbt only knows. Since they/them refers to a couple or a group of 3 or more. It seems people who get furious about questioning that, seem to almost have no idea why either. So is there someone with a brain to answer the question or am i gonna get a bunch of keyboard warriors calling me intolerant? 😂😂😂

[@KR-us9pj]

Please keep declaring pro-nouns - it helps people know who to avoid, and who not to employ.

[@niemand7811]

Oh wait. Now this comment made it clear to me. They do this shenanigan BS to avoid employment. And they get paid from the tax payers wallet because we finally declare them mental. The trick is to avoid to declare the mental and make the get employed and work their own lame butts of.

[@bossvinny5940]

Came here wanting clarity on this circus but ended up more confused

[@walkingcorpse1224]

I'm not even sure how it's expected to abide by these pronoun requests when you keep using the offensive word "cis" as a way to describe us. We're not cis anything, we're just what we are. If someone is a biological male then they're just a male, same for female. Adding "cis" to it is very offensive, learn from this.

[@mbmcdaniel8930]

2:18 - Did "They" just assume that cats gender??