Things Secure People Just Don't Say

[@juliakristinamah]

Hi - Really glad you're here. What was one of your takeaways from this talk?

[@josephpchajek2685]

I never realized how much people including myself say these things. Even simple things lik, "it's all good". This enables me to introspect better and be morte compassionate to myself and others, be more real wither others and take better responsibility for what say and do starting before the words even leave my mouth.

[@juliakristinamah]

@@josephpchajek2685 love this.

[@juliakristinamah]

@@heatherandrus8187 I totally agree. We can't always drop everything to be there for people, but most of us could stand to be a little more honest and authentic.

[@mmhll07]

‘You make me feel’... in the heat of a moment really hard to not frame discussions in this way. A really useful reminder about an individual’s responsibility to frame their own emotional landscape too. It’s not always easy not to project that though. I’m new to your channel. Thanks for this. Made me think :)

[@juliakristinamah]

@@mmhll07 Glad you're here Emma. And yeah, taking full responsibility for ourselves is no joke. I'm still working on it everyday.

[@westcoastsands]

Things emotionally secure people do not say: 1) “It’s all my fault.” 2) “It’s all your fault.” 3) “This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. It’s all terrible.” 4) “I am such a failure.” 5) “I’m not good enough. I’m not loveable enough. I’m not worthy enough.” 6) “Well they made me feel this way.” 7) “Just think positive. High vibes only.” 8) “Yes” when they really want to say “No”.

[@cherylweaver5129]

Thank you! I like brevity.

[@catdeluxeatday]

Why 7?

[@vicki3220]

Thank you!

[@parkerlovett763]

jazz girl because it’s not reality. My sister used to be like this and she took it to the extreme. She would pretend that negativity didn’t exist as long as you made it positive. She was trying to make things better for her and for everyone to block out trying to heal from past negativity.

[@Xelets]

In some cases nothing might be your fault. Sometimes, you give everything for someone to feel better, but gain the opposite in return. Imagine trying so hard to help out someone you love, and only being met with rejection and hatred?

[@sadiaarman363]

" Never allow another person to have more control over your mind and emotions than yourself." Really powerful!

[@Proverbs-_]

It's refreshing when two emotionally secure people come together. Talk about effective conflict resolution!

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen! Couldn't agree more.

[@counting_stars_lately_oshe8098]

i so agree with you

[@mariafalcao6872]

Saying no and yes and mean it without guilt. Struggled with people pleasing since childhood and working through that. Working towards living my life in what’s best for me without the approval for what other people think!

[@juliakristinamah]

Good for you for making this a priority. There is so much emotional freedom that comes when we allow ourselves to do this.

[@alohaanderson53]

Maria Falcao me as well. The people pleaser has been so difficult and challenging to me to break and they were never pleased. Vicious cycle to break. It’s hard work.

[@sachikuwahara5460]

How did you guys break the cycle? I am still struggling to be able to tell people “No.”

[@CherrybelleDawn]

U go girl❣

[@earthgrazer5511]

I feel like I've been living a lie. I feel like I've never learned anything that actually matters from this household. Growing up, i wallow in self-pity, shame, and insecurity. A mix made in hell. I feel burdened that my parents are relying on me to save the household. And i feel guilty for daring to feel that way when it's for my family's wellbeing. Thank you for helping me figure out that I need to be well first. I'm just realizing now how important emotional intelligence is to live the life where you can be authentically you. I never even thought that could be possible. Here's to working towards my intentional self!

[@messue428]

I feel the same. Never too late to become better and stronger!

[@narbox8438]

I have to say that after viewing your videos for the past 5 month, I made amazing changes in my life. I am now a system administrator, i also been going to college online part-time, and I have been working out. My body and mind are getting stronger. So thank you for what you do.

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes brother!!! Good for YOU for showing up for yourself and doing the internal work. That is everything.

[@westcoastsands]

This is awesome. ^

[@nishapan1376]

Julia Kristina, the thing I love about your videos is the balance. You tell it like it is (which is sometimes hard to hear but also necessary), but you are also compassionate and empathic. In my experience, a lot of speakers tend towards one extreme or the other. I am so glad I found your videos! Keep up the great work!

[@Deserthawk9487]

I have recently started my self love journey and your videos are key in teaching me how to get my life back in order to do so. Thank you for teaching me that it’s not about me changing others behavior, it’s about me giving them a choice in regards to the behaviors that I can not accept for me. What I am going to take away from this video is there are choices that offer solutions, and looking for what is best for me (which is a part of setting healthy boundaries) is not only acceptable but also very necessary for my well being. Thank you so very much for sharing!!!

[@dramendiana373]

All vibes are welcome! Yep, definitely much better. I love all the points you made. I think is about being as respectfully with others as you are with yourself, no more, no less. Maybe sounds easy, but requires a lot of observation and acceptance to be in touch with our feelings and thoughts, so we can act in integrity. Thanks for this video! 🤗

[@juliakristinamah]

So so true - that level of awareness and emotional intelligence do definitely have to be cultivated.

[@GirlMomma]

We do have an amazing community here in our little corner of the internet, don't we!? 💜 So grateful.

[@juliakristinamah]

Don't we though? I love it.

[@GirlMomma]

@@juliakristinamah Yes girl!! Thanks to you! 😘

[@bms2010]

This community is toxic and hateful towards individuals who have a hard time going through life with mental issues or any other issues

[@GirlMomma]

@@bms2010 I'm sorry you feel that way 😔💜

[@bms2010]

@@GirlMomma i know your being sarcastic but its still true

[@bakenpraise3756]

I recently discovered your channel in my feed and man I can say I did not regret it's like I keep getting hooked by your videos and weights been lifted off from you talking about anxiety to how society makes us feel anxious to trying to be perfect when we are all imperfect thank you so much for these life advises cause I have been recently struggling with anxiety from lack of sleep ro anxiousness about the future etc and your videos are helping thank you again.

[@juliakristinamah]

So good to have you here - and serious respect to you for investing in yourself and your happiness.

[@ErikaK]

Feeling confident, being ourselves and taking responsibility for our actions, being respectful, kind and considerate to others, and respecting ourselves as well :)

[@wesleyjvw6859]

This is so true. The last one - saying yes when you actually want to say no - really resonated with me and I didn’t even notice that I do it before hearing you talk about it so thank you! I will definitely download the 25 ways of saying no (because I really don’t know how to say no to other people, I usually say yes to everything I don’t want to do and end up having to go places and do things I very much dislike and sometimes even things that don’t agree with my values and morals by which I live my life) - Once again, thank you for your videos, they honestly make such a difference in my life.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks brother - that means a lot. Know our needs and preference, finding our voice, and learning how to communicate them is huge. Keep learning and growing and you will absolutely get there.

[@scottkraft1062]

When you realize that you're the most important person in your life. Loving yourself means you to Guarantees you that your living your life with only the right intentions. Becoming centered allows to enjoy the living moment

[@debralee3368]

Hello Julie. I have never had, or thought I needed, therapy before but after the worst break up in my life, I realize I do. No matter how bad he treated me (in every way) I let him and I am realizing that there is a flaw in me that allowed this. I am on a journey to find me, fix me and learn to love me for the first time in my 59 years. Thank you for your videos

[@angel772921]

Awesomeness Julia. .thank you..I find if I cannot have a sympathetic conversation with anyone and they ignore my feelings..I'm gone...deal breaker time. I have no time to deal with their nonsense....also HSP and empaths will sense it and as one I took a lot of others energies into my field and gave all my power away to everyone...no more healing and self love and the help of baddass hearts like yours has changed that..it can be a lonely path but rather alone or with jerks. .I'll chose me everytime .. much love 💖

[@PracticalInspiration]

Great point. Things might get tough, but if you give up then nothing will work out, but if you keep going, there's always hope for change

[@juliakristinamah]

We keep going and growing - and that's the point ;-)

[@christianlamb]

Great video!🔥🔥 I've found that having a more positive relationship with failing has been so beneficial for me. Helping clients to change their relationship with failing yields awesome results. Thanks for the inspiration!! You rock!!🔥❤

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes sir! So glad we're on the same page with this one.

[@perr5544]

Julia thanks for being there, listening to you , how you handled your life and sharing your love for life with us made me thinking about my life and how to make these changes , knowing that is possible ,and that i'm not alone in my quest to be a more complete version of myself.

[@juliakristinamah]

You are already complete. You just have some unhelpful beliefs that are stopping you from seeing it. You've got this, friend. You are not broken - just a human on this journey of growth, healing and self-love with the rest of us. Sending you love and inner peace my friend.

[@salhooper]

I was taught something called the responsibility pie. You don’t have all the pie to yourself. It needs to be shared.

[@tanishaosakwe9644]

Hi, Julia!! I’m a new subscriber! I’m in psychotherapy for the first time in my life, and the nuances brought me here! I love it already!

[@juliakristinamah]

Tanisha!! Welcome here. And a huge kudos to you for investing in yourself in this way. Amazing.

[@CeliaCavalli]

Julia you are a breath of fresh air! I love your attitude and sense of humor and how in depth you are on topics while doing it in a fun way. You’re like the friend who everyone’s needs!

[@khozg]

I need to work on how I constantly say to stay positive all the time, I have a bad habit of just making myself be happy all the time and end up neglecting my negative thoughts and emotions. I have had a few outbursts of emotions but I'm usually isolated when that happens so there are no issues with affecting other people with them, this video has helped me see that I need to still work on that, thank you!

[@sheldacalland4345]

Hi Julia I’m new to your channel. I’m on a journey of healing from toxic relationships beginning with parents . Such a great video, boundaries are huge !!! Looking forward to watching more .

[@candyheartsart]

I have been sharing your videos with my partner because we are both trying to work on ourselves and our childhood trauma and the ways that it impacts our relationship in a negative way

[@matty4280]

Thank you for sharing this! I would love to open up a conversation regarding setting boundaries and the turbulence that results from striving to become more emotionally secure. To clarify, what I mean by "turbulence" are the interactions with people who do not like it when you set your own boundaries (even if it is stated respectfully). Again, thank you for your work and videos!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes Matthew - I talk extensively about this in my Healthy Boundaries Bootcamp course because there most likely will be backlash when we start messing with the fruit basket.

[@boom-boom4725]

I loved how she said that she has failed plenty of times and on-going in the conversation.

[@veronicabruce2078]

I am going to work on my emotional inteligence by trusting all the right thoughts that represent my perfectly imperfect personality. My goal is to grow happier & healthier. Thanks.

[@joycele7974]

You inspire me. I appreciate you and your channel and the effort you make into putting these videos on top of counselling people. It is highly appreciated. You are naturally gifted with communication and I feel you were born to do this type of mental health and relationship type work. You're a natural 🖤

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks you Joyce! That's really kind of you. There are few things I enjoy more than teaching and speaking so it really means a lot when people find my talks helpful.

[@ministryoflove7855]

Everything that secure people do is coming from the frame 'I am enough'

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen.

[@JohnM...]

SO damn true!

[@Cloclobunny]

'Failure isn't personal' Ahhhhhhh! moment! Freedom/easy going-ness that comes from 'knowing we can say no'! Thank you so much for all of the information in your vids!

[@robertfrate6665]

Hi Julia, I help people all the time even when they don’t appreciate it, I still help them, god and karma see it, and it’s my personality to love unconditional, ty, Bob

[@captaindan1000]

This made me think of a song. Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. In that song he says one thing is nobody's fault, another thing could be his fault, and another thing is his own damn fault. Secure people don't claim that there's a woman to blame. It's always you're own for getting wasted.

[@juliakristinamah]

Ha!

[@rach940]

I loved this video. I’m consciously working on my boundaries at the moment and it’s not always easy but it does feel freeing to say no and recognising when something isn’t going to be healthy for me. Thank you for all you do!

[@juliakristinamah]

Boundaries are so so important - good for you for making them, and yourself, a priority.

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

First thought was wow! I’ve come a long way baby! Lol. I used to struggle very much with most of these. Sometimes the not good enough tries to creep back in, but I’m doing way better with it now than I used to. I’ve been catching myself lately about that phrase, “they made me feel this way.” I remember thinking I should just say, “I feel this way.” And then, “But why do I feel this way?” And then I just explore it. Nine times out of ten, it was someone being a jerk to me or them hitting a trigger or both. And I really can’t deal with those “positive thinking” people who come my way peddling that crap, as if we live in Utopia or can just chant crap and be in some Nirvana placebo bubble or as if we need to just “snap out of it.” Saying no is still difficult tho. I struggle more with the guilt feelings after I say no more than actually saying no tho.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks for your insights here Stephanie. And yes, I hear you on the guilt that comes when we say no. Getting ourselves past that is definitely the bigger work that needs to be done.

[@postpartumdepression_sucks9543]

I’m new here, and I want to be an emotionally secure woman.

[@juliakristinamah]

Welcome here! Stay with us, and you'll get tons of great tools.

[@kelseyt4300]

Wow! Such great gems. My biggest takeaway was not saying that everything is my fault. I tend to do this all of the time and it leads to arguments. Thank you! I can start to be more conscious of the fact that this is a conversation killer and unhealthy.

[@patriciacadogan6768]

Hi its saying no and not feeling obligated to say yes when I really dont want to and also feeling the emotions I feel, dont suppress them by trying to be positive. Great and very helpful tips for Life.

[@deanhine]

Hi Julia, I’m new to the channel, been enjoying a few of your videos today, started with HSP which I’ve only just heard about and identify with a bit. Really enjoying your content, it’s really informative and engaging. I’ve been investing in myself and seeking out therapy for my traumas and mental health, it’s lead to my starting study in psychology so I can hopefully help others as much as I’ve been helped. Thank you

[@isabellrc]

Very good information for both individuals & mental health professionals working with clients! Constantly feeling guilty & shameful, while taking on others issues is big & problematic for me! I wrote these 8 down; look forward to working with them

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes, boundaries are everything!

[@robertfrate6665]

Hi Julia, I’m Bob, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your amazing with your experience in life, and very informative, ty so much for your help, I’m learning about myself, regards, Bob

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

Another great presentation and again you were able to show how to navigate through the do’s and don’ts of when and when not to accept responsibility for our own behaviour and when to stand for your values. Thanks again.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you again for always being so generous and supportive with your words.

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

You are very welcome. Thanks again for your response and take care.

[@AlanCohenalco67]

failure is non-existent, it just means that you have not reached the solution yet, failure is an opportunity to grow, learn and experience change, attitude and perspective are essential to move forward , it's like regret, all paths in life lead you to where you are today,.. I wouldn't change a thing,.. it's my path.. let go of what no longer serves , move on. I chose and made my choices with each decision right or wrong..I accept the good, the bad and the ugly and this the key to maintain my emotional balance, recognizing your own self-worth.

[@cristinaferreira2230]

great information , If you fail get up and go on your path never give up.

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes sister. Yes.

[@brianodonnell9126]

You talked a lot of sense, I study eastern psychology , and much of what you said links in to things in eastern philosophy as well. I like your realistic approach. You seem to understand exactly what life is really like. As opposed to what people think it's like. I think you are a person that can really help a lot of people. Good luck ☺Cheers Brian

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks brother - that really means a lot to me. I do work really hard to study, research and understand how we work (and don't work) as humans and I appreciate that this hard work is connecting with people like you.

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

This is a fantastic way to put it. Love this logic sooo much Thank you Julia 💕💕

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad we're on the same page with these ones.

[@ashleyw6332]

I’m new! Turning 36 in 2 days work as a RN and have a 6 and 8 year old. I have Ben struggling long time with my marriage and wanting to be done with it yet struggling to make the right choice. I feel like I have lost myself in saying yes when I wanted to say no. So getting my self back means changing relationships and this is difficult

[@cjennings6179]

Daily difficulties are struggling to evolve to sometimes benefits like greetings & celebrating one's presence for showing UP!!😃

[@Cadow3]

This is so helpful! Answers I have been searching for for years.

[@tylerchapman3676]

Thank you, truly thank you. I wish there were more channels like yours

[@juliakristinamah]

It is so my pleasure Tyler. Thanks for your kind and encouraging words.

[@alohaanderson53]

Some people’s sole purpose is to make you feel and believe things that you know aren’t reality but you stumble you get tired exhausted confused. And some things that happen to a person is so bad one wonders how one is still here. I never felt fear of failure until 8- years ago. I always was able to work through overcome and thrive. Now at 60 and my husband took his life 8- years ago no matter the therapy I’m just breathing not living. So much blame and shame and pain from so many people...” how could you not know how he was feeling”.......... I obviously didn’t other wise he’d probably still be here.

[@ryangonzalez2032]

Dang she gets it. Wish she was my therapist . I’m recovering from my Calvert Narcissistic Wife . Her other video clips are good too..

[@curtissanders5044]

Me to

[@allenquartermane6134]

Wow, I'm amazed at how many buttons your pushing in my box car of junk! My biggest is I'm a failure ! As a professional session drummer at three of the top studios in NYC during the 70's, and at the age of 21, I was not allowed 1 beat out of place, and if I failed that one beat, my engineers, producers, and the bands I was drumming for would bring down fire on me. Granted I was at the time voted one of the top drummers, I had no idea it would be a major influence in other areas of my life even to this day as I am going to be 68 on Saturday . It has been a plague to me trying to be perfect for everyone and has been my downfall in being happy in life with myself as a perfectionist in stead of just striving for excellence. Love your videos and always share with as many people as will except your wisdom and guidance to not make the mistakes I had all my life. Sure wish you lived next door to me, but then I'd probably be a pain in the butt to you! Hahahahaha...........

[@gideongonzales8043]

hi Julia, I just found your videos recently and listening to it really helped me pinpoint things in my life that ive been doing wrong and gave me a lot of ideas on facets to work on myself. Thank you very much! consider me as your avid fan.

[@admirbarucija2018]

I've missed your videos so much!! I can't wait to watch after I get out of class

[@juliakristinamah]

So glad you're here Admir!

[@admirbarucija2018]

@@juliakristinamah Thank you so much! I'm glad I am able to support such a life-changing channel, you're an inspiration to many!

[@orbitofneptune]

3:51..... "It's all the goods!" You are so right Julia... Cause I feel that the foundation is what makes me curious about what the key points ( Meat and Potatoes) are

[@juliakristinamah]

Some people like only the bare bones, but I learn better when all the meat is there, so that's how I teach ;-) Glad we're on the same page with this one.

[@loricapp1144]

Hi Julia! I'm a new subscriber. 😁 I'm definitely one of the hard to say no people at work. I work with mainly "A" personality type staff. I'm support staff at a state prison, but everyone there thinks I'm their support staff including the residents! I love to help others out, but if my plans can change quickly due to where I work. I'm excited to catch up on all your blogs. Thank you so much! Lori from Washington State.

[@juliakristinamah]

Welcome neighbour to the south! I'm up the I-5 from you in Vancouver ;-) . Really glad you're here.

[@m.skinner6303]

Hello Fantastic video, 1 thing that resonated with me, was good vibes only....I don't know if its because strangers always come up to me, telling me there life problems...or is it because I don't want to feel ...the good, bad and ugly.... take away; its okay to feel emotions...with a sprinkle of boundaries. Thank you !!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes sister! And we're also allowed to not take on other people's problems.

[@m.skinner6303]

Julia Kristina Counselling Thank you for responding!! its a Florida beach thing. ( at least in Jupiter Florida) people that walk along the shore like to tell there problems because they know, they may not see you again . ...I do not take on their problems, I'm done trying to save the world or the little bird on the side of the road. ( but I will lend an ear for a few minutes - that's it) sometimes you learn good info. I do know how to feel, especially when I listen to this song by a Swedish group...LÉON the song PINK ...( I cry my heart out) I LOVE ALL HER ( Lotta) SONGS ....she writes all her own music, I can feel all her pain - she tortures herself, but she's young, shell get it) I love the "Treasure" song too. Try to at least listen to Pink and tell me that song doesn't make you cry?

[@jackiehocking2848]

This is really cool, i subscribed. I need practice with boundaries for sure!! Some people i just have none with like family that i help and doesnt make a difference... i end up enabling behaviour that i didnt want to continue. I never say what i feel to peoples faces its always afterwards that i realise i've just been agreeable as hell, then i come away feeling two faced because i didnt really agree with anything i just said 🤦‍♀️. I just dont know how to have positive conflict and see it through.

[@barbt.1448]

Love your videos and this is one of my favorites! It’s like you are talking to me! .... but I see in the comments I am not the only one, so nice to know others feel the same... and hope your videos help us all feel better about ourselves. Thank you! ♥️

[@nataliewilliams625]

Hi I'm Natalie. Ive just recently under your channel. I enjoy listening to you in the mornings as I make breakfast.

[@cherylfagg8005]

You are so helpful! What you say goes with where I am in my journey. Thank you so much!

[@Jenniferanne100]

I loved this video, honoring myself and others by practicing these tips and BOUNDRIES! Have saved this vid to watch again and again l.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad you found it useful Jennifer - and yes, boundaries are everything!

[@elanahammer1076]

Hello Ms. Kristina, I am not sure if I have watched this production. I might have but either way, in a personal development sort of way, I listen but I do not always comment. Thanks for your goodness!

[@danielpriddy2288]

Julia!!! U did it again... thank u so much for teaching us to love ourselves in ur videos. Ur amazing!!!

[@juliakristinamah]

It is absolutely my pleasure. And YOU are amazing for showing up and investing yourself. Don't discount that!

[@danielpriddy2288]

@@juliakristinamah U have taught me how to make boundaries and be confident and well... uve taught me a lot actually!!! The way u break things down for us... for me anyways has changed my life! U dont know this but I'm a female. My ex-husband broke my neck and I was so trapped and miserable! My life has changed so much over the last 2 yrs and ur my absolute favorite life coach! I am so thankful. I use an alias bc I cant have my ex-husband find me. I really appreciate ur videos... ur encouragement... ur hope in ur videos... and u r always spot on! Sincerely... u r the best!

[@juliakristinamah]

@@danielpriddy2288 Oh my gosh, girl - you are a warrior. I can't even imagine what you've been through. I am in absolute awe of your resilience and determination to do what you needed to do to get your life back. I'm inspired by you. Really good to connect.

[@elmooko69]

This was classic Julia Kristina! Thanks so much!

[@juliakristinamah]

Ha! So good to have you here.

[@carmenl9682]

I don't say any of these anymore but I realize that my friends and family do. One of the ones that stuck out the most to me is "good vibes only" because my mom has been this way for years. She suppresses all the negative things that exist and doesn't acknowledge them. Even when anything bad happens to me and i tell her, she would kind of brush it off..blame the system or an authority figure. Then when I'm feeling negative emotions, she would blame me for "incapable of being happy" and things like "lack of control for your feelings" but she would never acknowledge things directly which is so frustrating. What can i do? I simply just moved far away from her. After watching this video, i know that she isn't emotionally secure herself and it makes me feel better because I wasn't 100% part of the problem like she made it seem. Also, hello I'm a new subscriber! Great video 👍

[@lisasnotes]

Thank you, Carmen for sharing your intimate story about you and your mum. Thank you for voicing your feelings.

[@Naranja93]

I will try to stop thinking that it's all my fault when something doesn't work. I think that is something I can achieve. However, my biggest problem is that how I feel depends on other people. I don't think I'm strong enough to fix that..

[@juliakristinamah]

No letting other people dictate our emotions is huge - and definitely takes intentional work to get there. Little steps everyday and a crap ton of self compassion along the way.

[@Tranceart7]

Hey. I been watching for about a week, and you opened eyes. I just this particular to my mom and grandma though i dont speak to. In the list their something we all said. I appreciate you. Things make more a sense and i feel like i making progress

[@lauromartinsdagama8942]

I'm still learning with u. Thanks for being my best teacher.

[@CherbearAnn]

Sooo very wonderful as always!! Thank you for helping me grow daily. What resonated with me the most is your helpful words about not fearing failure. That is Huge and as you said there is comfort and peace in knowing it’s “just a thing” not good or bad. That is life changing, I say and I know will help me as I remember that and not want to give up instead. Aahhhh I feel the peace...

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes Cheryl!! I'm so glad this connected with you in such a big way.

[@lynnpyka3103]

Hi Julia! I love you dynamic videos on gaining and keeping our ultimate real selves.

[@babygirl-1895]

Bad things happen for a reason. You can get good things that come out of bad situations . once you start to think this . Your life becomes easier. Yeah life is unfair but don’t go blaming ppl or blaming yourself.If there wasn’t any negative then there wouldn’t be any positive.And yes there are gonna be haters who are cruel and nasty . But don’t let them get the best of u . just keeping on going no matter what situation you’re in never give up . just remember that life isn’t always gonna go your and that ppl charge things happen. Don’t let that stop u . Stop letting ppl what you are cause at the end of the day you show ppl how to treat u . I hope this advice helps .

[@SifnianRhapsode]

Hi! I am living in Greece and I've recently visited Norway. I have to say that listening is a craft. If the society is not functional (Greece), people tend to disbelieve, be disloyal and ignore instructions and advice. If the society is wealthy, organised and healthy (Norway), stress is not intense and functionality does not become a process through tantrum. One day, all this can become an unfortunate pattern. Have a nice day! *Pick any negative impact and you might have the same result.

[@adelescott1799]

Being able to accept something as being negative without trying to find the positive in it.

[@juliakristinamah]

Sometimes we just need to let our thoughts be what they are.

[@michelleoosthuizen3221]

Healthy boundaries and saying no... importance of this Im only learning now in my 40s.

[@marianayoshinagamary9194]

Your videos are helpful and you're so clear saying everything, that I just can say thank you and ask to keep doing it!! S2

[@aprilalvarez3338]

Hi I’m new here. I’m glad that I found you here in youtube. 😇 Such a big help and blessing to us . Thank you

[@juliakristinamah]

April - really glad you found us. Welcome here.

[@MrZapaaaa]

saying no instead of always saying yes to people wanting something from me, the people-pleasing thing when I tell them no then they don't come around, so I don't see any of them. but it's turned into a thing where they only come around when they need something or want something, for free

[@rendezvouswithben9187]

Hi there. The contents of this video are simply loaded and just full of substance. Thanks. By the way, I think I missed your video last week, can't find it... but I am glad you're back (-:

[@juliakristinamah]

Hey friend! I wasn't on last week because I was teaching a live workshop. Glad to be back with you all this week!

[@rendezvouswithben9187]

@@juliakristinamah Hi. Okay. A live workshop is really good, it's positive. Thanks, friend. Continue soaring high

[@vanessa271]

I say yes to my boss's assignment when I want to say no because I don't want to work with that person. However, I don't want the trade-off, i.e., the benefits of saying no to my boss is not more than the costs. So not all of your things are accurate. I also don't agree that you can't just be grateful all the time. Even in the worst tragedy, I can still find something good to think of.

[@philosophygurl78]

Absolutely love your information, everything you said, really resonated with me. Thank you, shared this video and many others to my friends and on my profile,

[@dddamaged7501]

Nice point, we do have a negative bias. There is another 2 or 3 answers.

[@B4mindcrime]

Hi, this is Bonnie! Love your videos! Just discovered them as I was looking for information about people who are needy. I have a female partner that drains my energy and I need help navigating this new relationship.

[@goldiehonn3764]

Wow your like an addon to my current therapist 😀so helpful

[@redwoodsorel5173]

It's great info, it's just different people's learning styles. I am a big picture person, so getting all the info carte Blanche makes it hard to take in, I have to break things down a bit for digestion. What I mean is. Listing the 9 things people say/don't say simply Then taking them one at a time with first level understanding and offering more in Depth thoughts for those who want to go deeper.

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad you found it helpful. I recommend getting a pen and paper and writing down each point and then letting yourself reflect on each one later so it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

[@leeclarke8993]

“The only reason why I know so much is because I’ve made so many mistakes.” Buckminster Fuller

[@Coolgamer-ys7qt]

The Feelings and the Boundary ones are mine!...

[@juliakristinamah]

I hear you!

[@Coolgamer-ys7qt]

@@juliakristinamah ☺️💞

[@grettirasmundarson9980]

When every significant relationship through your whole life has ended in rejection, how can you possibly feel secure in any human relationship? I’m just constantly wondering, when will this person reject me? Based on past experience, which is all I have to go on, this is the perfectly rational thing to ask.

[@1lhw875]

I really find your videos helpful. Thank you!

[@vitalule8889]

Very well spoken....thank you

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad it connected. Thanks for being here.

[@almakehlerbrown3935]

I really needed to hear this video today, ty❤

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it helped. Thanks for being here.

[@bajabill1425]

I enjoy listening to you and your tutorials!

[@sirenbodyjewelry3874]

Hello Julia! Found your channel, liked and subscribed. Love your content!

[@lauromartinsdagama8942]

Sometimes i say yes or no to please someone i love .

[@deborahtaylor7902]

Wow. Learned something new. Re: positive vibes. Never thought of it that way.

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad that connected with you Deborah.

[@xiao_teachingviolin416]

Thank you! I subscribed! This is very important for me to learn as a mom and teacher!

[@juliakristinamah]

Welcome here! So glad it connected.

[@bashirabdi9954]

Hi, I love your page and I'm learning a lot. Thank you.

[@EsperStar]

Great positive commentary 💛

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad it connected with you - thanks for being here!

[@ip1136]

My last boyfriend ( I still cannot get myself to call him my ex, it just hurts too much) said I drained his energy, after he broke up with me. Like, literally. He just threw that into my face and it hurt so bad and it made me feel so small and so bad, like I was a horrible person and a horrible partner. I was trying to help him, always listened to him, I was there for him but I finally saw I couldn't do everything alone and wanted to make him go to therapy... I tried to build him up, like himself better and accept himself and be easier on himself... And in the end he ignored me and just said it was over like I was too stupid to get it. And said these lines. You drain my energy. Yes, other people CAN make you feel a certain way. And although I gave it back to him and said no, this is not my fault, he insists until this day and it feels so unfair to me. Any advice, Julia?

[@butter99.79]

He sounds like a narcissist blames others for his own feelings just ignore him I divorced mine for festering and making me always feel bad for everything wrong he did it feels good being away from that mess almost 2 years. Get away and stay away from negative people it will most definitely benefit you for positive outcomes.😊....