What it Takes to Have Strong Relationships

WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE STRONG RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships. We are hard wired for connection and need healthy relationships to be truly happy. But the thing is, we were never really taught what it takes to have strong relationships,, and if your role models weren't the best, you may be finding yourself really struggling with this one.
So what do we do? We make small, intentional mindset and action-based shifts everyday that help us build those strong, healthy, satisfying relationships with our partners, our family members and our friends.
___
Get My FREE DOWNLOAD 25 Ways to Say NO: courses.juliakristina.com/25-...
____
SPEAK & FEEL HEARD - a crash course on assertive communication - Get it here: courses.juliakristina.com/off...
_____
Join the GOOD FOR ME GROUP on Facebook: GoodForMeGroup.com
____
Come connect with me!
♥ FACEBOOK: FB.me/JuliaCounsellor
♥ INSTAGRAM: / juliacounsellor
♥WEBSITE: juliakristina.com
♥BLOG: juliakristina.com/blog

[@ErikaK]

Letting go of expectations and setting boundaries, respecting each other and having empathy :)

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen sister.

[@vyllloquinte8462]

R³

[@ayoutubegirl5933]

Not letting go of expectations but setting realistic expectations 👌

[@kendrickelliott1370]

i know im asking randomly but does anyone know a trick to get back into an Instagram account? I somehow forgot my password. I love any help you can offer me

[@blakeconner5359]

@Kendrick Elliott instablaster :)

[@veronicabruce2078]

I am learning boundaries at age 65 and I love it.

[@beckybryant9891]

67, same

[@zorilli]

Good for you!

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

Great presentation. I especially appreciate the part you mentioned about expectations and boundaries. Life is a two way street and if you are acting in good faith you have the right to be able to expect as much in return. Thanks for another great presentation.

[@mrossainz]

Treat people the exact same way they treat you. Expect (or demand) from them what they do from you and deliver as much as they do. Respect their boundaries as much/less as they respect yours. You’ll be so surprise how rare real, honest and authentic people are, almost like unicorns.

[@ayoutubegirl5933]

As a people pleaser thats hard. Im learning to say "no" and hang back. 😅

[@thelaughingfoxx]

Marco R this is so true. I’ve found over the years that most people don’t want to get too close. And if I’m too kind, that isn’t good either. I have a few close friends out of hundreds of people I’ve met, and it’s extremely rare to find the ones that share reciprocity. But I cherish the people in my life. 🙏❤️

[@yaroslavlebed7964]

Amazing woman! Fair, smart, outspoken, logical, consistent! Thank you!

[@josephpchajek2685]

Wow, I love point #3, I was beginning to feel like I'm the fool for wanting women to communicate with me rather than mind read.

[@lmgtowwfvzxcf]

Thanks for being yourself, Julia. Because of u , your advices, I've made up my mind to leave behind those I hate, toxic people that talk me down behind my back. Like u told me , I don't need their approval to achieve my goals. U and Daniel tell me the same thing. I don't have to argue with my foes. I know what I'm able to do. Thanks you all for teaching me to be a better person and leave behind those who mean nothing to me. U make me feel might real. Happy Christmas to all your family. The same goes for Damiel Ally. Thanks

[@londynjacobs9443]

I feel like I just stumbled upon a gold mine when I found your channel. Thank you Jesus ! 🙌

[@karenfiggins7808]

Once I start, I talk too much about myself. I feel guilty and ashamed afterwards. So, #5 will be my priority.

[@juliakristinamah]

Go easy on yourself Karen! I have a feeling your intentions are good.

[@oilinmylamp]

I always feel like others don't care what I have to say or when I share my heart, that I'm a burden and they don't care. It brings SO MUCH stress within my body when I'm thinking and feeling that way.

[@meredithjoseph9813]

Thank you so much for sharing your kindness and wisdom with us!

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank YOU so much for being here.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you to those of you who have shared this video out on social media - few things mean more to me. If you did share it, will you let me know so I can thank you? Or, if you share it on your Instagram Stories, will you tag me (@juliacounsellor) so I can extra special thank you?

[@danielraypickrel4316]

Used a video with my counselor, thanks.

[@UrbanomicInteriors]

I love what you are putting out in the world Julia! Thank you for being generous with your time and wisdom.

[@danielchao1980]

I try watching a variety of videos from others who have knowledge and I always end up coming back to Julia Kristina.

[@beebunce8105]

Very recently I have had to deal with a girl group friendship breakdown, it broke me, this video has restored my faith in myself, the boundaries I need to put in place and my expectations of others, so thank you for this inspiring insight.

[@captaindan1000]

I appreciate the fact that everything you said is the kind of thing that's right under your nose. Examples: Listening? Wow! who would've thought that would do you any good? You mean people aren't mind readers? Guess not!Brilliance is sometimes the thing you discover that goes over the heads of many people.

[@africanwarlord.23]

Love your videos, I learn more and more about myself every time I watch you!

[@karenswanson6352]

So helpful! Thank you for sharing your gifts!

[@fatimasamira3695]

Thank you for telling us what kind of communication mistakes to avoid.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it connected.

[@sassysandie2865]

I’m 66 and miss the “bosom buddy” relationships I had years ago. Those old friends are no longer in the same city. Seems like people are so busy and occasional get togethers are enough for them. I miss hanging out with a friend often. I have some lovely friends but not like the old days. I’m not sure I would ever tell someone that I wanted to talk about myself or my experience. I figured if they don’t ask then they apparently don’t care to know. I’ve pretty much eliminated friends who are like that. I had lunch with an old friend from high school and she talked about her life for 3 hours and not once asked me a single question. She said the next time we went to lunch she wanted to know about my life. There wasn’t a next time LOL! As far as expectations, I’ve lowered them tremendously. If they don’t ever reciprocate then I would never be close to them anyway.

[@fatimasamira3695]

Oh! I can so relate

[@Latte528]

I totally agree with you. I would like to have more friends I can do things with on a weekly basis instead of just once a month. Not everyday, once a week would be nice. Just to go out for ☕️.

[@suzeb7005]

Yes! I totally agree, men & people in general are not mind readers.🙄 👏👏👏 Good on you Julia for telling it how it is👍 it is BS if you think anyone can read your thoughts & what you want or need😉 Shout out from Perth WA 🇦🇺🌻

[@TheEarthycrunchy]

Seriously, every human should watch this video!!!! It’s so good. I’m actually jotting down notes and talking to my kids about it. My daughter is going to college and living in a dorm and I think this will be super helpful! Thanks again for helpful and precise content!!! Xoxo Kyndale

[@juliakristinamah]

Hey you! So glad it connected. It's one of my favourite things to talk about because there are a few things that are so simple to do but make SUCH a huge difference to the quality of our relationships. I appreciate you miss Kyndale.

[@vampireslayer1989]

Your delivery and enthusiasm is contagious (young lady)😁

[@melyndafrazer1962]

You are welcome, will always support you! ❤️

[@fatimasamira3695]

The first thing I will do is check my expectations of other people and see if they are realistic or not. Sometimes, we have idealistic expectations from people.

[@juliakristinamah]

I think that's so true. Great insight Fatima.

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@juliakristinamah Thank you for the work that you do.

[@mikephelps6269]

I think your amazeing

[@agrav2474]

Yes. We should have some expectations, but be aware enough to understand if a person can fulfill them or not... that is so true!

[@evamussio7533]

Thank you, I really need to hear your talks!!!

[@miriambrocas8727]

I'm so grateful to have found your Chanel. I resonate with the integrity as have never attributed it to myself, so many things now make so much sense. Thank you for your pearls of wisdom 😀

[@karennaturallyartby]

I love this! Thank you so much!

[@juliakristinamah]

Absolutely Karen! Thank YOU for being here and for your support.

[@LoveIsEternal9]

I love your coaching so much!!

[@yourfavoritemom5217]

It is unreal the knowledge and strategies Iv'e learned watching your videos the last couple of nights. Thank you so much, honestly THANK YOU.

[@ejkovacik314]

Thanks Julia, I found you page about 2 days ago I've listened to around 6 video's so far... expectations are a big flaw of mine.. lots to think about for me. Great content!!

[@lesliengo8347]

I really appreciate your content Julia, please keep doing them for us. I think they are very important for us to learn

[@brianjankowski4419]

This might be the best video I've watched by her

[@agentm3554]

Julia, as usual I always appreciate listening to you and the things you have to say!

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you sweet Marge!

[@christi9598]

I love Alfred Adler! He was one of my favorite shapers of psychology. Very nice to hear his mention. :)

[@shirleyhunt5275]

Thank you again! Wonderful Tools to implement in my life that I have longed for and needed.

[@jeremycordova7630]

So good. So amazingly good. Such truth that validates me and truth that calls me out!

[@izawaniek2568]

Great advice, I fully agree.

[@danielmoreno9226]

This was such a good video, I've watched it a few times, Great Self Education

[@amandakate1247]

Everyone needs to hear this 💯

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks girl!

[@llnn0011]

Thank you so much for this

[@zeruszephuros5419]

Oh my, Julia, it's just like you're directly in my head............. you know what I'm thinking and question about life/people, it's just entirely all in your vids (and really easy to listen&understand too - an important thing!) Really love you and your channel, thank you :D!

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you.

[@fatimasamira3695]

Everything boils down to effective communication

[@juliakristinamah]

This, and how we show up.

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@juliakristinamah Right! How we show up.

[@beetleything1864]

That and not being with someone with bpd or npd 🤷‍♂️

[@juliakristinamah]

@@beetleything1864 that can definitely make things more challenging.

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@beetleything1864 What do bpd and npd stand for?

[@hannahli5011]

Julia, your videos have helped me so much. Thank you

[@dramendiana373]

I love it, especially the idea that it's perfectly normal to have expectations, they just should be realistic and if someone isn't offering what you expect, it's also okay. We have the choice of how to react and if we really want it (or need it), we can look for it in other person who is willing to provide that need or want. Win-win and no hard feelings. Is like some quote I read: "Don't complain about the water well still being empty, ask yourself why you keep looking water there..." 😊

[@juliakristinamah]

Oh my gosh I LOVE that quote! Thanks friend.

[@dramendiana373]

@@juliakristinamah 😊 My pleasure!

[@leeclarke8993]

I’m getting this at 72. Thank you for the guidance.

[@maxconroy3394]

Really helpful and really great advice that will help for my future relationships

[@solomonelijah]

this video was soo helpful

[@rhondagriffith2159]

So helpful 🌼🌺

[@terriwhalen3618]

Excellent!

[@JDMUWFGIS]

I really like the suggestion to "check yourself" This is definitely a goal to aim for in keeping your communication clean. I like that one.

[@ymoy8635]

I love most of your sharing Julia, it has enlighten me so much since I read it a month ago! I keep searching all your KZbin sharing since then, and working on appreciate myself and build relationship with myself. This sharing about relationship with others is also one of my biggest pain in life thank you so much in sharing

[@supertough57]

On point as usual, Julia.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks friend, grateful to have you here.

[@s1rius_net]

You definitely are a great person, and I love your videos. I am really getting addicted to them, in a healthy way, that is :) Love you.

[@sylviaolivares5379]

I took notes✍👍...loved the simple and straightforward tips on developing strong relationships that thrive. Thank you always Julia Kristina...you are awesome!😊🙏🏼❤

[@juliakristinamah]

YOU are awesome Sylvia. Way to make it count ;-)

[@sylviaolivares5379]

@@juliakristinamah Thank you! :-)

[@alexgreen1913]

This is some quality content. I never thought about it. I want a bosom buddy but with today's world its not always possible. I love how my friends are passionate and I want that too. I need to stop and analyze what they are offering me. They do value my friendship but I wanted more sometimes when its time to deliver on my part I don't give as much I thought. I didn't realize I what I was doing. I've been deprived of friendships and I didn't know how to have friendship. I'm going to use this for when I talk to my friends for next time. Thank you this has opened my eyes to what I want.

[@VideoCesar07]

Great video as usual Julia. I have bookmarked this video not just for relationships but because it's something I need to share this with some of my friends. I especially want to share the mind-reading part with a female friend who is pretty bad about always expecting her husband to just know what she wants or is feeling, for the very same reasons you pointed out. I don't know if she will listen but you explain it a lot better than I could. On the expectations part, that is definitely something that can sour any relationship very quickly. If we don't tell people what we like, want or need then we can't get mad at them if we didn't express it to them.

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen my friend! Really glad you found this helpful.

[@a.qadriyyah7711]

Excellent advices. I will practice all of it.

[@juliakristinamah]

Keep us posted on how it goes!

[@a.qadriyyah7711]

@@juliakristinamah sure

[@shafinarpinat7141]

I loved your channel. .❤❤

[@juliakristinamah]

SO glad to have you here Shafinar!

[@nicolamll020]

She does such a god job these videos are very helpful thank you

[@videonewsletter]

Julia Christina, your channel has helped me in a myriad of ways. This video was powerful. You're crisp, obviously immensely knowledgeable and experienced, positive, very effective, and thoroughly fit for every imaginable demographic. Thank you for your consistent, devoted hard work to transform so many lives here! I thought I'd run by you this observation of mine about only saying 'yes' when you want to. I've noticed how many marriages turn into resenting, sexless marriages due to lack of positive communication. And, so, my thoughts are regarding the instance of a married couple and the proposition or insinuation of sex. I've often advised that a spouse should always say 'yes' to sex, considering the emotionally triggering and potentially devastating alternative of a 'no' to such a vulnerable request by a spouse. I, however, always point out that such an inevitable 'yes' may be either unconditional or lovingly conditional. What I mean is that it may range from a... + "Yes! Let's definitely plan a special time this Sunday, but, say, before that, let's please have a good talk about this thing (a problem) that is bothering me..." + 'Yes! Definitely..how about Tuesday night... I first need to focus on my upcoming interview (or see my doctor, or finish fixing the car, or complete my final exam week, or buy a dress, or get my nails done, or rest from the long trip, or whatever..) + + ++ to.... ++ ++ Yes, after dinner and a movie! ++ Yes, but let's wait until the guests leave! ++ Yes! Give me two minutes to get the wine (or lock the doors, or shower, or even pay this bill online...) ++ Right here? Right now? I'm game! ++ Yes!! I thought you'd never ask! ❤️.. @%# WATCH THAT CAR!!!!! The idea is that, even if it needs to be postponed, you should want to say 'yes' to your spouse. And, if postponed, the plan should be happily fulfilled, given the excitement and expectancy for it. - So, I'd say that married couples should always see the love and wisdom of wanting to say an honest 'yes' one way or another. What are your thoughts about this within the context of a marriage that wants to endeavor in staying happy and healthy?

[@anjunaharper1336]

I think with the first point, you have to analyse what they're offering, if it's something that you WANT but don't NEED, you can try to see things from their perspective and compromise. If what they're offering isn't meeting you basic NEEDS, then there's a serious problem. thanks for the video!

[@juliakristinamah]

Agreed. Great points Anjuna.

[@kranthikharidu]

Big fan of your thoughts Julia... I always learn the point “Fixing things and An balance on factors of relationship”... My priorities: People , relationship and then Anything ( Money , Career...etc) becoz People and relationship can bring ANYTHING but not vice versa.. Thank you again for your time and efforts in making these videos ...

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen. Without love we really don't have a lot.

[@MsGoalsgalore]

Your you tube videos are excellent and very helpful. Thank you. I certainly agree with you about people interrupting and 'not listening'; it hacks me off something rotten. I think I must simply be a bore. I sense people aren't interested. I would find it very difficult to say 'let me tell you about my day', as you suggest. I can just imagine someone saying 'huh, it's all about you'! Maybe I have my home work to practice?!

[@evamussio7533]

I must admit that, being more on the introverted side, and giving a lot of energy to my job, i need more quiet time and space these days... i have been able to communicate this quite clearly to friends who would have wanted me to commit to more regular meet ups... I still feel guilty about it, as if i were a bit selfish... but I know that it wouldn't be fair to do things begrudgingly! Xxx

[@emilyve]

i love your videos soooo much

[@geethabharathi6569]

🙏 Thank you 🙏

[@gauripathania1175]

Omg this gonna make a huge difference in me now 🥰

[@Algo1]

13:39 as simple as getting a "reward" for doing something for that other person Sometimes a smile, knowing they're less stressed because of your actions is enough (I get massive relief, happiness and motivation knowing I can help a friend with her work and whatnot even if she says nothing) but some other times a thank you or doing something back to that someone will be needed (and she has).

[@juliakristinamah]

So good!

[@tamarafox429]

Great content

[@emilydelzell6629]

Yes perfect

[@orbitofneptune]

Hey Julia! I am Varun and I also live in Vancouver. A friend recommended me to watch your videos on KZbin. Your videos motivate me to work hard on improving myself. Although I watch your videos on KZbin, I would like to meet you sometime and learn and share. This video made my day better and changed my expectations of my friendships

[@juliakristinamah]

Hey neighbour! So good to connect with you. Really glad it helped.

[@kylejeffery4998]

Love lift us up where we belong.

[@jeannewynneherring]

This was awesome! Thank you for this much needed video. I have so much anxiety when comes to relationships so I stay away from them. I'm out going, but I don't like getting close romantically or platonically. I do want to work on getting closer to people. Slowly of course. One thing I do want to say in regards to the mind reading: women get a bad wrap on that. Be sure to speak directly to the men about this, too. Maybe I'm rare, but I get in trouble by guys for not, ”just knowing.” I feel like because people want this Hollywood romance, regardless of gender, people believe that love is magical. Such a turn off! Part of the reason I run. 😳I have plenty of my own faults to correct, but that is one thing I always hear is blamed on women (maybe because women are more vocal about it, ) but men have issues with that as well and they feel hurt by it. My bad is that I make fun of them for it which I should stop doing and I will. Now. 👍 But overall, I'm going to take this full advice to heart. It's fantastic and perhaps will help with my anxieties.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks for your feedback friend!

[@jeannewynneherring]

Julia Kristina Counselling thank you for all your helpful videos! I love them!

[@seanblackwell6241]

Such a wonderfully encouraging video talk Julia. It spoke to me a lot, and made me think about how I play a part in a relationship, and what I may need to change about me. Boundaries keep coming up a lot in the talks, and maybe this is something I need to focus on first. I think I have a lot to learn, to perhaps change some of my ways. I must watch this video again later and take some notes. ❤

[@reignofaragon6890]

What about "treat ppl how you want to be treated"? That's what I was taught then it was supposed to known "you did it for them there fore they should do the same". But I'm now starting to see that we were lied too and that was never true. Thankyou for the clarity

[@queendaddy9781]

I need to work on all of these, but I’m starting to work on healthy boundaries first! It’s so hard to do when you are used to not having any

[@sandracuenca7854]

You changed my life for the better ♥️

[@juliakristinamah]

YOU changed your life Sandra - I was just here to help guide you. Sending you so much love!

[@ChrisWoodBandit]

holy crap this is very helpful! Man Inever have understood when people talk about this sort of thing but you are kind of "to the point" (I mean that in a good way).

[@sandrapisarski6597]

Speak my truth.

[@karinaleon2824]

Great video as always Julia ❤️

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it connected Karina!

[@christopherpape4823]

Thank you Julia, very informative video! Now I just need to work on that whole having relationships part.... 🤔 lol.

[@christopherpape4823]

@Scullery Maid yeah I agree with you there. I want a real friend, not just someone to go get drunk with or whatever

[@juliakristinamah]

It is definitely not always easy, but the good ones are worth it.

[@trinity6764]

@@juliakristinamah So true ! 🍀

[@frantucker608]

Boundaries are hard.... necessary, I know, but hard.

[@juliakristinamah]

They absolutely are, Fran. I created a whole course on them for this exact reason. Here's the info if you're interested: courses.juliakristina.com/pl/65335

[@tydonaldsonster]

Julia...thank you so much for this insightful video on how to have strong/ healthy relationships!!! These key points are very helpful & I will be referring to them often. I'm also very excited learn more about 25 Ways To Say No that you so kindly decided to share with us without charge. Is there another link that's possibly available to access that download? I've tried accessing the download multiple times through the link that is given here but it still has yet to arrive in my inbox.

[@ymcatorres135]

Watching this video made me realize how bad I messed up in my marriage, I wish I would have found you sooner

[@ayoutubegirl5933]

Same. Live and learn girl.

[@Nina-ur3ld]

Don t feel guilty. Nobody teach you this things In school unfortunately.

[@ayoutubegirl5933]

@@Nina-ur3ld or sometimes not at home either. 😒

[@danielraypickrel4316]

I believe it is a problem having low expectations. 'Mutual expecting' requires lotta conversations of negotiations.

[@Joanna7428]

Julia you communicate brilliantly thankyou, you aren't preachy but very insightful I love your uploads they make a lot of sense 👍👍

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you, friend. That means a lot to me.

[@foodieninjazz34]

i love this vid so much, thanks julia! but i do have a little question though - i understand that yes, we do have diff expectations of others. but how do we go about ensuring that the new people/existing people we meet have similar expectations of the friendship? because just purely 'clicking' with them initially doesn't always mean that they have constant expectations of the friendship, and personally i find it a bit weird to go "hey so what do you expect out of our friendship". would love to hear the ways in which we can do this, thanks and much love from singapore :)

[@jeweljones3818]

Thank you for sharing. I'm old enough to know many of these things but need to be reminded all the time.

[@mcdijkhuizen941]

I'm so tired of relationships. My 'friends' drain me out. I'm always attracting needy people. So I'm setting boundaries at the moment in a kind way being clear about what I need. That's not what my friends are waiting for they just want my ears not my mouth. It's difficult.

[@fatimasamira3695]

You need "friends" not people "pretending to be your friends"... True friends will value your boundaries, opinions and everything that you can offer in a relationship or friendship. I m not saying abandon them. You want to help them with their needs. Go ahead! But, only help when you genuinely can, which means not at the expense of your own needs.

[@mcdijkhuizen941]

@@fatimasamira3695 I totally agree with you 😊👍

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@mcdijkhuizen941 Thank you. Thank you

[@rendezvouswithben9187]

What a beautiful video, as beautiful as you! The part about "especially to women, expecting to read their minds", thank you for that! I highly appreciate that as a man.

[@juliakristinamah]

So glad it connected, my friend.

[@rendezvouswithben9187]

@@juliakristinamah ❤

[@christopherpape4823]

Also I would appreciate some videos on the ego like you mentioned on your insta story recently! I don't really know what it is, but I'd like to learn more!

[@juliakristinamah]

Great suggestion Christopher! I will put it on the list.

[@edwardreyes9010]

Check Yourself was big for me. Especially when I'm angry. Or rejected. Oh Lord.

[@christinamarshall7156]

Hi 🙋‍♀️ I'm looking for the link for speaking and feeling heard...that you were talking about in this video...pls help 🤗

[@aurawhitcomb1491]

How do we set our partners up for success? Do you have guidance/guidelines how to do that? You just mentioned it (11:31 into this talk) and my ears perked up because I would LOVE to know!

[@junesherlock425]

I need to figure out what my wants and needs are

[@le-coeur-et-l-esprit]

Hi Julia, I do agree with you most of the time, but on this one, I'm having a harder time. I guess it means something... I do believe in healthy boundaries, and in saying no when you need to and yes when you feel like it, most of the time. However, being in a relationship also means being tuned to the needs of the other person, being there for them when they need it, and finding the balance between what you need and what they need, isn't it? I am currently in a situation where my two best friends are in times of their lives when they either need time for themselves (need to stay alone) or are not available for others (hardly have time for themselves). This has been going on for more than a year. I need them, I have asked them to meet them, but one won't let me in, and the other can't find time to book a cup of coffee with me. They are saying yes and no as they should, but what about me? I am trying to find what I can't have with them elsewhere, but the connection we have (or had) is not replaceable. I find that the more connected we are to our needs and the more we listen to ourselves, the more many of us also let down others and increase the individualistic vibes of our world; while being attuned to our needs should (I believe) make us happier, more balanced and therefore more attuned to others, more shining and more resourceful for others too. At first, in the relationship with one of them, I was complaining because I saw too little of her (an evening every 3 months), and she suggested I call her whenever I was down or I needed her, so I did. And then i realized it wasn't a healthy way to have a relationship, because not seeing her was what made me go down, and then I called her because I missed her, while if I had seen her on a more regular basis, I would not have missed her and therefore not have been down. So I suggested we see each other every 1 month 1/2. But an appointment got cancelled, and then not replaced, and so on, and it's been a year... I have stated what I needed, clearly, I have suggested that we meet 4 times in 4 months, but there's nothing, still... Actually, I am afraid they might both be depressed, but I can't do anything for them if they don't let me in, and when I feel down, they are not acting as friends toward me. Putting things in practice is not always easy. Sorry, I don't mean to have a private consultance. If you ever reply, you can obviously reply in a broader way...

[@dyzzydjm]

Julia, I am one who thinks that Game playing need not be a manipulative thing and that in relationships we set rules and boundaries and set goals and steps and that in itself is a game and can be quite beneficial to the participants. I know that when people try to conquer and win it can be horrid for the other players but if you work at the relationship on the same team things can go quite well. I think that because I am a little schizophrenic I neglect to play the healthy relationship games and I act too unpredictably for people to feel comfortable in my company (I have been diagnosed but recently my Therapist says he thinks it was a few episodes and not full blown schizophrenia.) What do you think of healthy game playing in relationships? Does ‘game playing’ have too many negative connotations about the players being manipulative and needing constant control over everything or can it be a healthy way for people to be mindful of the rules, boundaries and goals of any particular relationship?

[@maryamjamal382]

Hi Julia. Can you please tell me what should be done when our boundaries are not accepted and respected ? How should we respond to them ?