Things Sigma Males Say

[@Graenolf]

lawlz lemme kno if i missed any ✌️

[@disruptor6550]

"I read all 237 pages of the terms and conditions and clicked disagree"

[@amandamills4410]

That intro was strong af 🤣

[@AM_I_Able]

"I don't go spelunking for fun. I go to build up my immunity to claustrophobia."

[@taylor3950]

I can hear a guy monopolizing a casual discussion about hobbies with this and I hate it.

[@im.just.bored.here.]

This video is so funny, I need a part 2!!

[@alaskawashington]

“bad practice makes bad perfect, so get good instead.” is both fully insane and also sort of strangely good advice lmao

[@klop4228]

My sister's changed it to 'practise makes permanent' because that's unironically truer than 'perfect'. On the other hand, I don't think it's good for my grindset to listen to a woman, so...

[@Sulaymaniyah21]

@@klop4228 correct

[@Im_Not_Loss]

@@klop4228 Oh that’s what my martial arts instructor says too

[@ZebraLuv]

@@Im_Not_Loss yoo you had him too?! Dude with the crooked teeth, thin hair, got in trouble for perving on the kids...

[@Im_Not_Loss]

@@ZebraLuv Uh… Na I’m talking about Mike, the one with a metal hip implant

[@averytireddad]

"I tell my subconscious mind what to think, even when I'm not conscious of it." -is my new favourite quote lmao

[@Graenolf]

It’s slathered in self awareness 😄

[@patrickneedham7915]

Pretty much Thom Shea's book "Unbreakable" in a nutshell. Good book.

[@eve_______]

@@Graenolf Like I legit attempted to use it in past. Why use one brain if you can use two

[@justablackguy4701]

@@patrickneedham7915 is 😢 try❤

[@amarok6314]

bros a graduate of hustlers university

[@drummerofawe]

A bonafide tater tot

[@harshitjamwal743]

No he's teacher

[@mameh1624]

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

[@nini-qc1qd]

bro I'm not even kidding, from 3:05 onwards, he sounds EXACTLY like Tate (legitimately thought it was a voice-over for the "quick and easy" part lmaaao)

[@yennefer440]

Nah

[@AlexandraAnele]

The "international" line really got me

[@thelustfulkid4110]

Same. I almost turned off my phone.

[@DeeTofa]

You should be grateful for having such a Sigma brother

[@ninjagamer1359]

Glad to see I was not alone in being affected so violently by that line lol

[@jJLDY.0gskJtOHZcju_o8e3v]

Gay

[@Dni80]

i thank you for teaching me to step up my eyeshadow game

[@spaceuncharted3278]

"Here's why girls reject me: Because I'm *too* good looking."

[@abcdefghij337]

I’ve legit told a guy he was too attractive for me to hold a conversation with. Not sure if he appreciated my honesty or not.

[@MaladyKayjo]

“I don’t participate in domestic violence, i’ve gone international” -graenolf, the perpetrator of thousands of war crimes A day

[@NekzLvL]

"you fly private because you are rich, i fly commercial just so i can disturb the elderly sleeping on board. We are not the same".

[@Graenolf]

hahahaha

[@hellofrominside8524]

My life changed when I stopped giving my life force to toxic women. Now I find men of power and success and let them think they’re the one hunting me. By the end of the night they’re surrendering their life force into my sacral chakra point and I haven’t spilled so much as a drop of my own. Work Smarter *and* harder.

[@neo8039]

AYOOOOOOOOOOO

[@alansong81]

This is the only way.

[@ninjagamer1359]

You must have enough life force for 10 men by this point! A true sigma GOD!

[@papl20]

WINNER!

[@hitrapperandartistdababy605]

classic tate w

[@laurarozamunda]

"I've never seen a sunrise. I wake up and let the sun watch *me* rise" I chuckled.

[@mq8858]

Never have I felt more motivated to sleep in

[@oliviascott526]

The whole "Losing semen prevents immortality" thing sounds like satire, but it's actually a legit Taoist belief...

[@nattycampos88]

It's from Yoga philosophy, the concept of brahmacharya. 😘

[@lirich0]

Omw to look for even one singular toaist person who is immortal

[@RaeneTheFaerie]

@@nattycampos88 YesNo, it is indeed also in Taoism and Brahmacharya falls under Buddhism and other Indian religions and should not be limited to 'yoga philosophy'.

[@MapleBull95]

@@lirich0 Remember to bring a UV flashlight

[@Colin-kh6kp]

All religious beliefs are equally insane.

[@disruptor6550]

Out of all these, "I even grind in my sleep" cracked me up the most for some reason 😂

[@taylor3950]

Just the image of the dentist shaking their head and starting on nightguard no 3

[@goldblooded6329]

It did for me too. Because I’ve heard that unironically

[@xquisid]

Yeah, grind their teeth and making weird noises while sleeping.

[@truthwatcher2096]

Graenolf can make any random shower thought into an impactful and kinda scary video. You wonder how he does it? It's because of semen retention

[@Logicerr0r]

real

[@thestraycat69]

Nah it's his sigma way.

[@IsaiahRichards692]

So… die a virgin?

[@venepskeuten9206]

"A foolish man complains about a hole in his pocket. A wise man uses it to scratch his balls." ~sun tzu

[@Goober_gobbler]

“If trying is hard, make winning easy” that’s actually a good one. Smaller goals = easier and more wins! Thats what my therapist says

[@wiphinmagus7943]

Huh, I actually have a fuckton of As and Ss on osu!, but the vast majority are all for 1 and 2 star difficulties. Easy wins, not hard victories. lmao

[@m.douglas8492]

Bros taking actual life advice.

[@Chraan]

It's actually a very legit coaching advice. For those who don't know, the point of course is to reach a greater goal with those tiny wins. I know it sounds self-explanatory, but but people often overlook it when setting their goals anyhow

[@embelina24]

The dentist joke was impeccable 😂

[@WikkeSchrandt]

Honestly, I've never heard the term sigma male before, but seeing the similarities between this beautiful satire and the behaviour of a friend of mine - I now know exactly what a sigma male is.

[@Amcsae]

Yeah, it was a first for me, too

[@pearshaped9116]

I want what ever rock u 2 have been living under, I swear I’ve heard half this shit said earnestly

[@WikkeSchrandt]

@@pearshaped9116 It's a pretty big rock. Hearing you say you've heard people say this stuff earnestly, well damn, it just makes me glad I've been hiding under it.

[@pearshaped9116]

@@WikkeSchrandt yeah, I mean I was exaggerating, but this video has a large amount of overlap with the “manoshere” fresh and fit, Andrew Tate, sneako, just some bananas stuff 16-25 year old dude are saying these days

[@WikkeSchrandt]

@@pearshaped9116 I can see that, especially since I don't know what the manoshere fresh and fit is, nor who Andrew Tate is. I actually thought I was more up to date to today's fads than I seem to be. Still, what some guys that age saying isn't of much import to me anyway, so I feel fine being where I am :)

[@c4irr0tc4ke]

Sigma males? More like sigma ballz. 💖

[@goodlyantics.5243]

More like sigma Cai Ren suckz.

[@jusbetter1386]

What about sugma?

[@SwedishMeatball972]

@@jusbetter1386 or schmegma?

[@datemasamune2106]

Ever been to Wendy's?

[@victorgalva23]

@@jusbetter1386 KKKKKKKK

[@franmode0634]

Don´t count the days , make the days count.

[@ccl1195]

"The cow.. poops on the grass to make it grow. The Sigma.. *intense stare* poops on the cow." Yes. The Sigma poops on the cow. Here's $5000 for your weekend seminar, sign me up.

[@ccl1195]

Best line in the whole video :D

[@dem017]

That is so Dwight Schrute

[@atuvera9021]

Tommy Shelby pics with motivational quotes vibes✨

[@Widdekuu91]

My ex would always buy me a 3-euro-rose on Valentines. We knew each other for many years. I hinted that I'd love to receive the 50-cent-cheaper-bouquet from the supermarket, with small red roses, instead of the more-expensive red rose. He legit informed me that he wasn't planning on ever buying me more than one flower for Valentines, because then I would probably expect more the next year. By keeping it steady (one rose and one biscuit each year) he didn't leave any room for doubt; This'll be your gift for years to come, don't bother asking for more." I (I'd almost say negociated) asked if he could at least add a card. He said he'd think about it. The next year he gave me a biscuit (that I declined at first, but under pressure, still consumed) and then he gave me a rose with a heartshaped card. I don't know if I am comfortable sharing what was on the card, but we were definitely both very disappointed that evening. And the next Valentinesday I got myself a big bouquet and had a lovely day watching others have fun together. Strangely enough, it felt a lot less lonely than it'd felt the years before.

[@Widdekuu91]

Just to clarify, the "keeping the gifts steady so you keep it easy for yourself" was what he said, that was the initial thing I felt like sharing, the rest is extra info. Big chance he had it from the same website that told men to "start the conversation with something she'll remember." He chose; "Hello did you know a guitarstring can cut a head off a neck? I own a guitar " I refused to meet up again for weeks, he just thought I was busy. He never realised that us getting-together was despite this remark, not because of.

[@stariadreamtea]

I'm so glad you left them. That's so petty and gross of him. I'd rather get nothing than such arrogance. You deserve better, I hope you're ok now.

[@mysoulcalledlife]

You👏 deserve 👏 better👏

[@mrssmith1691]

Wow, so glad you ran! I had a boyfriend that ended up in jail when I was young, and he still sounds better than your ex. Enjoy your big bouquets and your freedom from manipulation!

[@juliannecolosi271]

The ‘keeping it steady’ comment sounds emotionally abusive to me. Good thing he’s your ex

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

The perfect follow up to being a disturbingly pretty woman

[@Graenolf]

🥰 lol

[@cartercummiskey9995]

The way he talks about pez dispensers with the Andrew Tate impression 😂

[@declan5073]

"I stay constipated to reabsorb my protein" got me good 😂 actually sounds like something they'd say

[@Sly-Moose]

If all those Latin alphabet guys just learn to be humble, people would actually like them.

[@Tragantar1310]

they dont want people to like them, they dont give a fuck. the definition of a sigma is that hes a loner and operates outside the peer group/society

[@kitcat2449]

True, real charisma and intelligence. The wisest never really brag, that's what makes them so likable.

[@Sam-ky3su]

How I miss the good old days when 'sigma male' was just a meme and no one actually called themselves that unironically.

[@simbachvazo6530]

Im sorry but the domestic violence one was too funny

[@darkclownKellen]

"If trying is hard, make winning easy" is actually a really good one. Set yourself up for success

[@StephanieJeanne]

That was dark and disturbing. 😂 I loved the silent vacation part. Sleeping on the ceiling.💀

[@shepardren8006]

I never understood the whole "Alpha/beta" bullshit. To me it's just the guy's version of justified self righteousness through those horoscopes.

[@annaxxxx99]

Well, except one actually has life or death repercussions...

[@nmoney000]

It's horoscopes for men lol

[@recenityz]

@@annaxxxx99 And which one would that be, exactly?

[@klop4228]

@@recenityz both of them have repercussions, in that either one can easily cause a social death

[@recenityz]

@@klop4228 The only viable opinion on the matter

[@ZSmith-yy4lv]

“That’s why my dentist hates me”

[@legendarynoob1477]

Hahahaha those "retainer" guys have some insane bro-science theories😂😂😂 excellent done again Graenolf.

[@travcollier]

@ralf dsouza It is a really old and really stupid idea that pops up in a lot of different religious sects and general wackos. Don't go giving taoists a bad name because some taoists you heard about were/are idiots ;)

[@TheParadiseParadox]

When mainstream science is too cowardly to address a subject, we must turn to bro-science

[@maaz322]

@@TheParadiseParadox Psychology Today says its good to relieve my sack so I don't unwittingly cause microaggressions when I go in public!!

[@ziliestarrive]

@@maaz322 Psychology Today also says it is good to not be fat and gay. Have you ever considered that?

[@TheParadiseParadox]

@@maaz322 yes. If you did a similar study about smoking you would find a similar result. So we can conclude it's best for smokers to stay addicted, rather than get frustrated and aggressive

[@ninjagamer1359]

“I don’t participate in domestic violence …I go international” had me guffawing. Very un-sigma of me, I know.

[@GK-we6gi]

"I don't participate in domestic violence, I've gone international" - Putin, probably

[@Anicius_]

Very accurate this is exactly how insecure they are

[@cassandraburns9073]

Worst part is I've heard some of these unironically from grown ass men

[@devonjordan1517]

Am I the only one who feels like these would hit just a tad harder in that Tommy Shelby voice?

[@hellofrominside8524]

He may have the voice and some of the principals but Thomas doesn’t know the first thing about semen retention. He’s a sheep in lone wolf’s clothing.

[@devonjordan1517]

@@hellofrominside8524 😂 Damn, well said

[@kennedylemon5837]

“You piss in the urinal, i shit in it. We are not the same.” -sigma male grindset rule #3939

[@thewizard-edits]

that first joke about only hitting on women with a boyfriend - i’ve actually heard someone say that in seriousness

[@groerhahn225]

Absolute highlight of this performance to me are the dead eyes that have tiny sparks of anger and desparation in them. Very accurate.

[@casualinterpreter8293]

Graenolf’s makes me wanna make a KZbin channel of my thoughts😂

[@queenofgolddust9992]

Do it just don't forget semen retention.

[@glimmeringshard]

This feels like waking up from a nightmare and still being mad at the person in the nightmare. I need a moment to recover from this hahaha.

[@joel6633]

I have to say, this channel is something else. Like a window into Graenolf's true self or something.

[@SpaceCowboy57]

The PEZ dispenser/tree frog rant had serious Ben Shapiro vibes.

[@moonie1825]

Its andrew tate

[@muffeCx]

"REABSORB MY PROTEIN" - omg! How do you even come up with these things?! XD

[@bilhelm000]

“Become immortal or reproduce” is the funniest way to sum up the sigma grindset

[@susanam.826]

That was brilliant and hilarious! You are amazing at creating scary characters.

[@KrisMcCauley]

Hamza has entered the chat

[@robotrip9292]

"Sigma Male"? Holy shit I now have a word to describe myself.

[@yourmum69_420]

bro, you need to ascend to being a Morbius Male instead

[@victorjun2421]

@@yourmum69_420 nah my dude, the best tier is the Ligma male now

[@Qwerty-jc3so]

That's basically just the same "alpha male" trope but with an introverted twist for the basement dweller audience.

[@paysmenot2624]

I learned more from this video than i learned at school. Education system isn't teaching us the important in life stuff.

[@victorgalva23]

those guys are so cringe. imagine becoming like this because a girl didn't want you

[@HappyBuffalo347]

"become immortal or reproduce" sounds like thalmor propaganda

[@E-Brightvoid]

Selling End of the World hats while the world ends is a true Sigma grindset

[@roniheyman251]

Not the sleeping on the ceiling 😭

[@ScavengersReign920]

"I've never seen the sun rise, I wake up and let the sun watch me rise" Damn💀

[@karlhungus5395]

The timing on the reabsorbing nutrients from poop bit is perfection.

[@РоманМорозов-ъ4т]

If *poops* make grass grow, so i prefer to *poop* on my bank account

[@AM_I_Able]

"For the hustle never ends..." *Why did it sound so inspirational* 😭

[@_Hello___.]

this is hilarious. glad more people are making fun of this mindset.

[@crptpyr]

tell one of these dudes that a sigma male is literally just a tsundere then sit back and watch

[@Some_Shmuck]

I remember when the whole sigma/alpha male thing was just a funny meme...I miss those times

[@douglasphillips5870]

If corporate jargon was an identity.

[@saptaparnoburmanroy614]

You forgot to refer to women as females.

[@UCeagle79]

This was more motivation then i thought.

[@CM_Kha]

Love this!!! What a content! Appreciations from Vietnam!

[@Lightless_era]

Pov: if tom Shelby wasn't British

[@heathercurry898]

You may be right that every problem can be fixed by retaining semen. Sounds biblical. LOL, very funny.

[@anj-i5b]

“I even grind in my sleep, that’s why my dentist hates me” as a sigma female I legit found out yesterday my tooth is cracked.

[@ipurpleyou9337]

I feel like I lost my brain cells watching this video but then gained them back except they were damaged and broken.

[@MortyMortyMorty]

Ngl the first line was extremely based-red-pilled-gigachad-sigma-alpha-bodybuilder-common w.

[@AthenaIsabella]

Sleeps on rooms ceiling LMAO

[@theshooster420]

I was so unsure whether this was comedic or not, I was so ready to hear some mind boggling manosphere bullshit said with utter genuine conviction, but my god this is so fucking funny I love it.

[@thesorrowsofmotherlovejoy9894]

These sigma guys run crying from farm girls👍

[@samdug9]

Only a true sigma male would feed on a tree frog

[@arasandaga355]

"life gives you what you expect, so if you die it's only becahse you expected to die" big Hob Gadling energy.

[@allankuria9923]

"I'm a Sigma male" is the "iM nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs, Im QuIrKy" for guys.

[@SERGEANTDlCK]

We know?

[@jessicaluk74]

Exactly

[@manylittlefish693]

ngl this is cooler than the things "sigma males" actually say...

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Anything is cooler than what they say 😄

[@Pandemia616]

I imagine Andrew Tate gives himself this exact speech in the mirror each morning

[@oakleyves]

this is so quotable thank you

[@straxacore]

I bet some of these ended up on alpha/sigma message boards un-ironically

[@Mistwolfss]

2:05 interesting place it has both wood and carpet on the ceiling.

[@PatchesDied]

Im an asthma male cough

[@berrianazrubel795]

Andrew Tate watching this: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN

[@niftyspiffyguy]

“It’s called ‘Foreword’ by John C. Maxwell” Like he hasn’t event started the actual book 😂

[@Graenolf]

😄😄 hahaha

[@kondwaniphiri2764]

From time to time i come back to this video to laugh and get motivated lol

[@Graenolf]

😎🤝

[@blackfurio2381]

Tate's immitation was on point

[@Graenolf]

Glad it came through 😅

[@leviismyoppa967]

He's so good that I can't get through this video without cringing to death.

[@tommytwo-times9053]

i fully believe graenolf is the only skit youtuber that can still make me laugh

[@thenovicewhispers]

This is basically the entirety of YT Shorts

[@copiouscareerist]

Yeah, I accidentally dated a couple of these guys. They are still choking on my dust.

[@britischenadligen3760]

Lol must've been an interesting experience 😂 PS was that a self burn at the end?

[@copiouscareerist]

@@britischenadligen3760 Oh it was. No, on the self burn. They are still choking on my dust, because I left so quickly that I kicked up a mountain of that handy dusty dirt.....that they are still gagging on.

[@britischenadligen3760]

@@copiouscareerist Oh I see! That part was too lyrical for me to pick up on 😅 a good one nevertheless! 👌

[@copiouscareerist]

@@britischenadligen3760 💝

[@murasakilancelot7909]

If they really are true ones, then they don’t care.

[@ashutoshkulkarni9280]

The breaks while speaking.. The bullcrap talk.. Reminded me of a guy with a clean shave on his head and a haircut on his chin..

[@Tresdrole123]

This channel is too underrated.

[@bmoars]

Yes!

[@BlakeDoesBusiness]

That low key Andrew Tate impression near the end cracked me up eating tree frogs lol

[@joeltheowl3299]

This man is an impostor, he didn't mention cold showers a single time!

[@Andrea-ys1gv]

All i see is those damn tommy shelby slow mo videos with shitty captions and the ice cold and fire emojis

[@tyrant-den884]

Jack Donaghey: "I have nothing to teach that man, Lemon."

[@mr.wicksnamelessdog3202]

This side of him shows the 70 shades of Grey in him😁😆😂💖

[@ItsGrail]

50 shades of greynolf

[@katherinec.9609]

Thank you Graenolf.

[@tawn33]

The bit that starts @1:30 reminds me of when you play The Sims and fast forward the time and you watch your Sim plebians live their Sim lives as you're living your life watching their lives🥲