Things That Annoy Jimmy | Jimmy Carr

[@_inSight__]

His “sorry dude” was the most real part of him I’ve ever seen.

[@owenotley]

you must not watch him much. i thought it was funny when he said it though like the "ill stop now i promise" look

[@SuperFlower323]

Jimmy's genuine happiness, after hearing the bread maker lady divorced her husband, was hilarious!

[@johnlewis9158]

He could have worked in the line and how much of your husbands bread did you end up with after the divorce settlement

[@SuperFlower323]

@@johnlewis9158 she took the bread and the dough! 😂

[@johnlewis9158]

@@SuperFlower323 Indeed lol

[@bruceree1574]

I’m genuinely looking forward to this 😂

[@lugo8824]

For me it was the look of shock before that. That was fucking brilliant.

[@landonmiles97]

I love that he stops a show and explains what's about to happen before he destroys a heckler. Great stuff!

[@zapkvr]

The hecklers are planted

[@guidofester5451]

There are rules. Ha

[@eme1468]

he did stall and didn't respond to Toby about the tickets, your mum is so fat is so cliché now

[@JordonPatrickMears11211988]

@@eme1468 he said he was going old school

[@jaikohaal]

I love how his comment sections are never turned off

[@jessmontgomery3454]

He loves abuse why would he even consider it.

[@FunkeymonkeyTTR]

only pathetic snowflakes turn off comments

[@NatandGeorge]

he gets ideas for future bits to try on stage, pre-specials

[@Pactastic042]

Only joke stealing hacks like Amy Schumer do that

[@comit8077]

Well he has nothing to hide like he doesn’t seem to steal jokes or anything

[@michaelrawson6261]

"...are you tryin' to say Gary...?" Priceless!!!

[@A_J_Gaming83]

"If you want my come back you'll have to scrape it off your mums teeth" No matter how many timesI hear it, I still PMSL

[@parishna4882]

Thing is, we've heard it a million times, so why are these things being repeated ad nauseum, and by the 'official' account, even.. ???

[@A_J_Gaming83]

@@parishna4882 Dont ask me, I dont edit his content. I just enjoy it.

[@olib8789]

theres no way psml is a thing

[@A_J_Gaming83]

@@olib8789 Piss My Self Laughing PMSL

[@parishna4882]

@@olib8789 Hahahaha pmsl...

[@animatedCHUG]

"What happened to the dog?..*gasps* Toby's mum ate him"

[@TheFloatingBartender]

P0cket Rcket had me dead hahahah

[@miyuden4118]

In most other comedians jokes you think of something perverted before the punchline drops. Jimmy manages to do it the other way around. Just amazing.

[@Showmetheevidence-]

Just a hunch... but I don’t think jimmy likes cricket.

[@ryugo7713]

Because of jiminy?

[@steveo4095]

I miss cricket

[@Ellie_The_Pk]

Im a greàt batter at my school but i agree it does get boring sometimes.

[@brownpunk1794]

how do you know..he never made it clear lol

[@Persholm1]

Where did you get that idea? Sounds like slander to me

[@billysinge8977]

I think it’s funny that even without makeup he looks like a French mime artist.

[@MonoLith2049]

I've always thought he looked like Lloyd Cole from Lloyd Cole & the Commotions

[@billysinge8977]

mono lith lol yeah he kinda does.

[@frankie6349]

Or a vantrilequist doll

[@alfching2499]

He looks like Archie Andrews

[@FiryaFYI]

I think its funny you think he doest have makeup

[@harrypercmuncher]

The way this man deals with heckles is fucking brilliant

[@rangerleaf1505]

It's even better that he encourages it too

[@nursultantulyakbay7070]

Jimmy Carr is 50% genius, 50% psycho and 50% Roger Federer.

[@boghund]

That's... Not how math works

[@magicicecube8233]

@@boghund lets fix that 33.3 % of each and leftover = Spaz

[@littlemisseatscrispsforbre5353]

Whoosh

[@Glowstick48]

Little Miss eats crisps for breakfast first off this isn’t a woooosh secondly spell it right

[@mariomartins6960]

@@Glowstick48 you spelt it wrong aswell! Woosh!"

[@mitchellhogg4627]

"well you can get off the high moral ground if you didn't even fuckin watch it." Lowkey such a valid point tho...

[@noramarie6950]

Things that annoy Jimmy Carr: This. Things that annoy me: The fact that I have to live the rest of my life knowing I lost my virginity with a Jimmy Carr special playing in the background.

[@LJALLDAY600]

Thats a privilege

[@nbaclips4040]

Was he HA AH ing as you finished

[@davidnolan6319]

Here's proof romance isn't dead

[@Lil_Valor]

Lachie E 😂😂😂

[@JulianSirian]

There's a story here...(but we will never know, of course;-)

[@Notorious12345]

The gift card joke is actually true why do people even do that.

[@AndrewHadi07]

the idea is, it is for people that are underage. it can control what they can buy from the specific store. instead of giving them straight money which can be used to buy something like Porn or drugs (Overexagerated you get my point). Also sometime people use it because it have a discount like 50$ coupon but you pay 45$, or you are an employee of said establishment and you can buy the gift card on discount.

[@user-jt1jv8vl9r]

We'd get 'Boots' vouchers as kids from relatives. We never bought anything in there and dad swapped them for cash. Worse still I've had vouchers expire when the cash wouldn't have. Pointless.

[@Sumtingwong1969]

was stolen from the Late great Mitch Hedberg

[@AndrewHadi07]

@thisguy you sir got my like hahaha.. Well i gotta cover my bases for all the whooshhes out there.

[@obviouslymatt6452]

Andrew it’s also so that it doesn’t just go into savings, because just putting your money into a friends bank account seems weird. it’s so they spend it on gifts for themselves.

[@howardkerr8174]

"...I'll have to put you on a$$hole waiting." Not the best response to a heckler, but still pretty good.

[@Norts101]

A show with jimmy carr, Frankie Boyle and James acaster would be brilliant

[@GarrettCroslin]

James Norton dangerous but brilliant.

[@8enji8oi]

Not James acaster but Kevin Bridges instead that would be awesome

[@LW1322]

Not after Jimmy stole Frankies vegetarian option joke.

[@Friendship1nmillion]

*EVERYBODY* has an opinion about what would be a great stand-up comedian line-up {for cast of a great sitcom}. 👨‍🎓🇦🇺 🦸‍♂️💬 🎭🗯

[@DanielLopez-up6os]

It's called 8 ouf of 10 cats does countdown.

[@azu.316]

Jimmy carr is a national treasure 👌

[@arafjan7488]

Certainly with his tax dodging!

[@jasondurst3528]

EEeehh just kinda funny

[@TheBigbadman2020]

Jimmy should make a show just with heckler's going back and forward 🤣

[@behska3487]

Either it'd be setup (fake hecklers) which could probably be funny, but good, REAL hecklers are few and far between. That show would be a disgrace like Toby's mom.

[@jamessteven711]

Everytime I've seen him live most of his shows are literally just that....

[@cariri12]

Can someone write down that part on Toby's mom? That is just pure gold

[@oliverw.6150]

Done.

[@sohrabnizoumi-berizi328]

I remember first time I saw Jimmy's face on the telly.....I honestly thought his face was made of shiny plastic...

[@ryugo7713]

But why?

[@sohrabnizoumi-berizi328]

@@ryugo7713 It was shiny, no movements and no emotion!

[@Richard_Straker]

He wears makeup and has probably had botox.

[@persephone5674]

its because hes a lego man

[@AlexandraVioletta]

Too much botox

[@wallisa]

the whole waiter thing hit me on another level XD we have to say the plate is hot, and yes people will touch them just to make sure, and yes they will complain it's hot after

[@russbarlow3442]

I absolutely love Jimmy Carr. Hearing him say dude sounds kinda weird 🤣

[@Smoke-ez8qm]

That blind football was actually really impressive

[@balasmj]

9:13 Jimmy: You broke up with him, right? Marriage consular: Break bread with him

[@irrelevant_noob]

*counselor

[@katschulz9580]

Break bread (maker) over him 😆

[@BluesGuitarPlayer001]

I think we should have Jimmy and other comedians all do a nationally televised roast of coronavirus from their web cams at home! I believe it would help overall moral if only for an hour taking a break from seeing these constant Covid-19 updates.

[@anthonysawyer3243]

Internationally broadcast. I'm not British, but I like the comedians across the pond better than the ones over here.

[@parishna4882]

What is a coronavirus? never heard of it..

[@moth5799]

@@parishna4882 Yeah neither have I, what's a coronavirus? Is it some new beer brand?

[@sunnyslater2656]

Brilliant Idea!

[@Showmetheevidence-]

You know the tv has an off button right?

[@Gokusan818]

Bread maker right now seems a good gift idea since shelves are empty lol

[@lazyjesus6573]

Jimmy takes his old style telephone ☎️ & receiver 📞 to the pub with him.

[@EmmaRiddle543]

I love Jimmys victory dance, I now do that and I have his laugh. 🤣

[@redfoe77]

The woman asking for child support over the phone had me LMAO!

[@Miss-Anne-Thrope]

That couple who have been married for 35 years- one buys the fryer and the other buys the chips- sounds like the perfect relationship to me! 😂

[@Anon-tj2zk]

Miss Anne Thrope makes chips my guy

[@chriswoodcock807]

Jimmy carr is by far England's greatest comedian by a country mile

[@meganrudd77]

Ricky Gervais exists

[@JamesandRibble]

Aside from Micky Flanagan and agree others

[@willsanctuary6626]

Lee Evans, Peter kay?

[@MrNissetuta]

I read Jimmys Carr is by far..,. 😂

[@mvl71]

Until recently I'd have said Sean Lock.

[@chrisprobst6963]

0:36 The vegetarian joke aged well, you watch him on 8 out of 10 cats - when theres snacks or food for the panel theres *always* a vegetarian option

[@mistawinta]

Yeah, cause Jimmy is in charge of the catering on the show...

[@chrisprobst6963]

Yes , clearly, he makes all the nibbles by hand for his fellow panel members, because that's the kind of awesome guy Jimmy Carr is , didnt you know?

[@mistawinta]

@@chrisprobst6963 oh, my bad. I thought he only fed your mum

[@bendevine5003]

I don't know who is more offensive Jimmy Carr or Brandon Rodgers

[@tristan3456]

y e s

[@CazzyVR]

Niether

[@GodofHellFire1982]

The best of the Comedians imo!

[@montel4eva]

the Eastenders one had me on the floor

[@backinthe90siwasinaveryfam65]

Just like Toby's mum

[@randomfpv22]

The best comedian on the planet

[@lesrogers7310]

Thank you Jimmy. Please keep them coming as I appear to have alot of time on my hands....

Hecking Jimmy is like poking a Cobra!

[@nbaclips4040]

Angel Mcfadden next time he’s in town I will heckle him

[@darkflare223]

true but he loves it when ppl heckle him , he encourages it even and gotta admit it s feels like part of the set to be honest.

[@Harlequin19]

The bread-maker story is still a classic and never fails to shock me. My personal advice to anyone considering proposing to their partners: unless they specifically ask for something else, you really should get them an engagement ring.

[@jamesquillin5400]

I got my fiance a custom painted thermometer, a professional one. She's a nurse so.... idk it just seemed fitting

[@littlemisseatscrispsforbre5353]

I didn't get a ring or even a proposal. All I got was 'so are we getting married or what'? Who says romance is dead 🙂 it's been 18 years and it still makes me laugh.

[@littlemisseatscrispsforbre5353]

@@jamesquillin5400 I quite like that idea. Rings are not for everyone but that's really sweet what you did.

[@michaelcolbourn6719]

@@jamesquillin5400 seems like a nice gift, but not sure for a propsal

[@shanevonharten3100]

Yeah, buy them something so they can put a $ value on how much they mean to you.

[@ilkkarautio2449]

Blind skateboarding is hopefully going to be an event in Tokyo paralympics. 🤔 I watched a clip of this guy training and it was mindblowing, he was actually good.

[@officiallilsideshow]

Woah

[@dingo5208]

Who? Jimmy?

[@gavinnz6169]

All the broken toys having a picnic hahaha

[@antonramil2408]

I didn't get that one!

[@antonramil2408]

Could you explain It?

[@richiehops7881]

@@antonramil2408 Paraplegics look like broken toys.

[@rubenknol1590]

That was 1 heck of a heckle, tickets 2 this show. The only way Jimmy saved that was with the burn of the second dude that said stop stalling.

[@royjelierse8955]

To be fair he completely smashed both of em. He's a heckle genius!

[@yueshijoorya601]

I mean, his comebacks weren't spectacular. Could've easily thought about them prior or heard them somewhere, and saved them for future use. Context is what makes a brilliant comeback. And I sensed that he was kinda salty to the second guy, cos he actually was trying to stall.

[@themike97_58]

i feel like ppl heckle not out of dislike for the show, but because they think its funny and want jimmy's response

[@salimosman8188]

Toby's mum..🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@chawandamacfarlane6320]

Totally agree with his views on cricket! Lol

[@ceedeeramb8990]

"Worst anniversary present you've got" "Tickets to this show!" Laughed my head off at that.

[@budle89]

I can never hear what the audiences screamed during live show.

[@DanielLopez-up6os]

Tobys MUM IS BACK! A CLASSIC!

[@naonao7473]

i remember when i was in highschool , one of my classmate got his girlfriend a shaving razor and put it in a fancy box , she had no idea and gathered all her friends to open the gift in front of them , and BAM , it also had a note " shave your nasty ass mustache" (something in the line of that , it was not in english) . you can honestly feel the mortification by looking at her face expression , poor girl

[@SuperFlower323]

Please tell me she dumped his ass!

[@naonao7473]

@@SuperFlower323 I think she was going to , and he saw it coming , so he did a preemptive strike and dumped her and, in public mind you , highschool was brutal for some people

[@atlas3732]

He did what was necessary.

[@kellingtonlink956]

You always make me laugh hilariously. Thanks for another video. Brilliant jokes!

[@paulatreanor5566]

He has a great 😃 talent for making people laugh.

[@dougswamprat5275]

You know you've seen too many Jimmy Carr clips when you know the joke he is making about Stranraer.

[@titchethorne4758]

This poped in my inbox this morning. Made my day before it started.

[@JLuke2oo7]

The scissors thing was literally me 2 days ago!

[@rishabhmittal28]

The heckle is “Tickets to this show “ 😂 “Worst anniversary/birthday present”

[@iamcliff4351]

How mant people just searched for Blind football on KZbin and found it. Jimmy Carr is so clever for inventing it,

[@JUST-UK-JAY]

THERE WAS A SIMILAR JOKE WHEN I WAS A KID INVOLVING BLIND MORRIS DANCERS AND A CAT

[@sully1939]

Imagine that women’s ex husband watching this 😂

[@davegoldspink5354]

Got to love Jimmy’s vegetarian options “you can make do or fuckoff” classic 😂🤣😂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 In my house vegetarians like vegans don’t even get an option they don’t get invited in the first place.

[@ronaldmcdonaldboi4397]

“Gigiddeee gigiddeee”

[@eck2x]

Good of Jimmy to release these clips. The world needs some cheering up.

[@lizzymarlow5208]

shame its nothing new though...

[@arliaeaston7814]

Hahaha I understand the hot plate one, I used to work in hospitality and the one time I forgot to warn someone about the hot plate she ended up screaming at me cause she burnt ber hand and didn't get a warning, this is why we constantly tell people 🤣🤣 I promise ut's not to be patronising!

[@juzzlookin]

Lol FOG....I remember saying to the ex, driving down the motorway "what does Fo9 mean" not seen that before. She said fog you muppet...

[@AmmosB]

Was Jimmy doing his best ice cube impression for the thumbnail

[@STEVIEDVD]

Seen you live a few times, you are comedy work horses. Liked and followed 👍

[@lolgamer895]

Oioi love this guy..a ledgand!!..😉😂hes the best comedy..bosh!!xxxx

[@Digighost_5]

"...an Argos catalogue." Oh that's genius

[@Officialmryuck]

I just found out about Jimmy in a compilation video and I must say this guy is brilliant 👏😂

[@thelittleheathenfromSweden]

I never thought about it before but backseat drivers are alot like maids or any house cleaners in general. With their constant nagging and questioning, "why are we going into the woods", "why is there no handle on the inside of the door" and my personal favourite "please let me go, I promise I won't tell anyone what I have seen"

[@vitamulten1395]

They always want to know what the shovels and bag of lime are for. It gets really annoying.

[@abemudokon9497]

This is the same joke

[@treetopjones737]

Profile picture says he's not making a joke.

[@Oldyamyamgembo]

Please keep up the funny videos. I need every laugh I can get.

[@JoostMehrtens]

Am at 4:49 now, I will take his advice have a look. I will edit this post afterwards to tell you if he is right or not.

[@z0mn1a]

Jimmy is not my favorite comedian. Or my 2nd or 3rd, etc. But Jimmy is the face of comedy. This dude is the pure personification of the median of what humans find funny. He isn't a genius. He's an outright manifestation.

[@joinfawrrightdestroyislam7003]

Jimmy's a legend

[@Purlee100]

I once needed to cut some cable ties, so I went and bought a new pair of side cutters, then realised they were attached to the packaging,,,,,with bloody cable ties!!!!

[@Critical_Stinking]

I bought some cable ties to attach some packaging to a pair of sidecutters. When I got them home I realised they were attached to another pair of sidecutters! Typical!

[@richardlloyd2589]

You 2 should swap shops.

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

What is it with brits and their obnoxious safety measures?. We in asia just put it in the plastic because even 5 y o already TAUGHT how to use it. Reduce waste, why dont ya?

[@Zlittlepenguin]

Nurlinda F Sihotang the irony of someone from China complaining about how people need to reduce waste

[@Ace4863]

The Little Penguin ikr lol American here

[@ROY57ON]

11:35 After Jimmy said that I really wish someone heckled "Oh Nana, you shouldn't have!"

[@cavagna]

I still can’t get how he’s so good at this AND at playing tennis!

[@priscilaassis5704]

As a vegetarian, those are usually the options anyways 😂

[@ChakatNightspark]

Hey Jimmy, Im from the USA and I actually like watching Cricket. I dont understand the game. but to me it seems Fun.

[@jacklewis3803]

Brilliant at the end he said 'can you fix it for me?'. The answer that is yes, jim can fix it for you :)

[@northstar7694]

Best laugh in awhile, SAVAGE!!!! Lol

[@alexanderson7962]

Brilliant 👏 👏 👏 👏 tip my hat to you Jimmy 👍 😀

[@livingdeadghoulz7582]

😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️ these are the best

[@livingdeadghoulz7582]

Slightly depressed teen I know I love Ricky Gervais. He’s fucking hilarious

[@Australiantourforyourdog]

Cheers mate for your giggles :) 🇦🇺✌️🦘👍🐾

[@aurorafrost288]

I wonder how long he had that Comeback comeback waiting in the hopper? That was awesome.

[@evanparsons123]

This is good advice for me.

[@arielali320]

Yooo he’s so funny 😭😭

[@cookoo4cocopuffs221]

8:11 Jimmy is a genius

[@arafjan7488]

Cricket is a brilliant game!

[@duncanjames914]

My favourite comedian after Jonathan Winters III. Please do a show in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

[@cyberjack]

who googled "blind football" ? lol

[@mykel1990]

I did. Lol.

[@Nergal_Slayer]

Me.

[@daniellennon4275]

Fucking youtube is doing my head in, every 30 seconds adds, adds, adds, every video

[@thewonkytardis4177]

Hey jimmy you are the best

[@I.have.no.name.ideas.]

Can confirm as a waiter we get told to warn about the plate we don’t like saying it either 💀

[@Jack_The_Ripper_Here]

That fog stuff was funny haha

[@bluesmaster9896]

We played our local blind school at 5 a side in Albrighton Shropshire .We took it easy at first .They played dirty.

[@gensischronicles1148]

6:18 what does the heckler say? I can't understand...

[@starcorpvncj]

Never heckle a good stand up comic if you are not prepared to pay a heavy price.

[@Hoganply]

A specific gift is sometimes worse than a voucher, though, and often more limited in value.

[@kylec.8037]

The worst gift I've received was tickets to Jimmy Carr

[@dirty_deeds3523]

4:45 my favorite Jimmy joke

[@matthewcullen1298]

Cricket is awesome on the radio. They used to have comedian commentating with ex cricketers on triple m in Australia. I used to love listening whilst working on a building site. It's what got me interested.