This Barbie is a Detective

I rented this game from Xtra-Vision and I couldn't finish it. I blame Ken. I don't know why but I've decided it's his fault.
Watch all of this stuff happen live on Twitch at
/ cakejumper
/ itscakejumper
Video edited by the fantastic Ashtaric, who you can find here:
/ ashtaric
/ xashtaricx

[@FiveThrownStones]

Hey, Ken, buddy, do you need something? Water? Gatorade? Narcan? A funeral director?

[@cakejumper]

He needs to be rehydrated

[@blakksheep736]

​@@cakejumper easy, throw him overboard.

[@Sampson-9091]

They say Ken still stands there zoned out to this very day, experiencing life at 50% reduced speed

[@cakejumper]

honestly it's probably safer for him at this stage, if we cranked it back up to 100% he'd never handle it

[@techno1561]

@@cakejumper He's barely handling it as it is

[@nathanblackburn1193]

I honestly would love an ultra serious detective Barbie, and just to be clear when I say "ultra serious" I mean everything but Barbie is ultra serious, like Barbie is wearing a hot pink noir detective's outfit going around with a perfect smile and pink magnifying glass solving grisly homicides

[@cakejumper]

I'd play it. I'd 100% play it. Mattel get ON THIS

[@girzarro]

legally blonde detective agency spinoff

[@rowan1230]

So not a lot of people know this but there was a really powerful story that was revealed just a few days after this game came out. A young man had dropped out of school and was struggling to find his feet anywhere in the real world, and out of desperation he picked up this game for even the slightest distraction from his life. It captivated him so much that he was the first recorded name on the any% and 100% categories for this game and according to those he lived with, he would allegedly have long, drawn out, therapeutic conversations with himself whilst staring down the screen at Ken, whom he reportedly would refer to as "my darling" or "sweet angel". One year later he had gone on and written the most successful literary detective series ever known to humankind. That man was Arthur Conan Doyle.

[@cakejumper]

Rowan I'm going to turn to dust

[@Hidden_Fern]

Love wins ❤

[@notoriousgoblin83]

And who bought him this game? That's right, Bill Gates

[@fierywingedangel1070]

I...did not realize as a child how much Barbie sounded like a retail employee who had nothing left to lose and i'm not sure if recognizing it now that i've done retail is a curse or a strange comfort.

[@cakejumper]

Oh my god you're RIGHT, I feel like she's going to upsell me from a teacup to a suite of furniture

[@katierasburn9571]

"can i interest you in...."

[@Uloncl]

Ken really is my favorite immovable object

[@cakejumper]

We found him, The Man Who Can't Be Moved

[@TRIVIA5209]

I am blown away. This game has voice acting. And I am amazed that they were acted by actors.

[@cakejumper]

I think their whole budget went to the voice actors and those little prerendered animated sequences. And Ken's face.

[@TRIVIA5209]

@@cakejumperkens face probably cost more than my college tuition

[@onsenmark]

KATH SOUCIE was in this. What in the actual eff.

[@cakejumper]

@@onsenmark RIGHT? I couldn't unhear it once someone mentioned it!

[@blakksheep736]

Voices were acted. Voices were definitely acted.

[@blakksheep736]

You can tell its truly from the early 2000s because they appearently can't trust the player to navigate menus unsupervised.

[@TragicPasta]

Oh Ken, what a simple soul. Like a deer in headlights

[@cakejumper]

Ah to be Ken, without a thought in the world

[@minimunchkinn]

I wish I could be as head-empty as Ken, but instead I am haunted by Barbie saying...nothing here 😂

[@cakejumper]

N O T H I N G H E R E

[@tht1person523]

2:47 i love the idea of him drinking to forget stealing a painting. like he experiences the same amount of guilt steal as like killing someone

[@cakejumper]

it's still haunting him to this day

[@Anti-i25]

Ken looks like he miscalculated the dose and took 500 milligrams.

[@cakejumper]

what's a few zeroes between friends, I mean he's plastic so surely he should be ok right right

[@mayhapsvenotcaleb4576]

I'm so excited to watch Ryan Gosling stare at a wall for two hours

[@cakejumper]

It's going to be EXCELLENT

[@Willothemask]

Ken has seen the horrors that wait beneath the waves, and is now paralysed with existential terror. Either that or Todd Howard is just busy dreaming up the next release of Skyrim.

[@cakejumper]

Why not both?

[@chickenfarmer321]

4:52 never heard somebody make that sound so accurately before

[@Phoebecch]

3:05 omg mum I’ve made it. My niche knowledge of the titanic that I was taught (probably instead of maths) made me famous as I spot foreshadowing in a barbie game

[@cakejumper]

THANK U don't ever let anyone tell you that any knowledge is useless, because it could come up in a pub quiz Or a Barbie game

[@pufflemaster348]

Hilarious, amazing editing, and I still can't get over the fact its called the crime computer (also, the new colours for the text look great, its very easy to read!)

[@cakejumper]

CRIME COMPUTER Also I'm so glad the text is looking good! :D

[@ashweston1828]

I could've sworn there was going to be a zoom in on Ken's gormless face with Barbie saying "N O T H I N G H E R E"

[@endevor_music]

Pro tip: watch the 0.5x emulation speed part of the video at 0.5x speed. This truly is something H A R D to forget.

[@cakejumper]

oh I'm gonna DO IT

[@airhornsound]

Ken is truly the embodiment of if the dial up sound was a person

[@cakejumper]

There is NOTHING in that skull of his

[@AN456d]

This Ken X Router noise mash-up was the throwback to my childhood that I never knew I needed

[@cakejumper]

Sometimes I feel like dial up noises play in my head for thr first five minutes I'm awake

[@blakksheep736]

To be far, it _is_ visually stunning, just in the way a baseball bat to the back of your head is stunning. I suppose visually _staggering_ is more accurate.

[@cakejumper]

Maybe that's why Ken couldn't move, stunned

[@blakksheep736]

​@@cakejumper I suppose visually _staggering_ is more accurate.

[@gobglob2201]

visually paralyzing

[@blakksheep736]

@@gobglob2201 yeah, that.

[@usvaharma7042]

When barbie looks into my brain ”nothing here :)”

[@cakejumper]

she k n o w s

[@cloudmist26]

*Starts gliding* *Immediately tries to take out the chick next to you* I'm so glad RT introduced me to this channel ❤

[@cakejumper]

Listen we gotta take out the gliding competition EARLY what if she won

[@blakksheep736]

The easiest way to win is by taking out all the competition.

[@DragonHeartGamer]

I remember playing this game alot as a kid, like playing it over and over again. the only thing i remember about it now is that the pink of the loading screen was incredibly damaging to your eyes

[@cakejumper]

The loading screen is so bright for NO reason 😭

[@renatapaiva4805]

absolutely bonkers wow i need an album of barbie game kazoo remixes 😂😂😂

[@cakejumper]

I mean hey you never know!

[@appointmenteer]

this game is a masterpiece, good video also thank you for not flashing the subtitles by one word at a time, i can never follow those and its just overwhelming. Hard

[@cakejumper]

Ahh thanks! I'm glad the subtitles work for you!

[@TheTecManiac]

You know, I feel like I can really relate to Ken

[@cakejumper]

I wish I could empty my brain that intensely

[@guilhermebaeta2071]

Ken looks like he came straight out of Guernica

[@cakejumper]

Picasso's got NOTHING on Ken

[@Viniter]

This was such a fun stream! What a gem of a game...

[@cakejumper]

It was SO much more fun than I'd expected, tbh I thought we'd be bored half an hour in 😂

[@laurenrose1472]

This proves that cake is in fact a barbie girl in a barbie world

[@cakejumper]

I just haven't figured out if life in plastic is fantastic or not yet

[@toobin5613]

A KEY!!!

[@cakejumper]

A KEE

[@blakksheep736]

​@Maestro'D here.

[@beans9288]

Had to come back and watch this video again after the Ken memes, absolutely hilarious

[@theaether3124]

barbie went to the floor is made of floor detective school

[@cakejumper]

I don't know where we'd be without her expertise!

[@TeddyKanikami]

Ken is just sliiightly melted

[@cakejumper]

Someone left him on the radiator

[@HPfan295]

I would love to see the other Barbie Detective games. That would be fun. 😊

[@designator7402]

Hard.

[@DramaLlamaTheatrics]

Here’s a barbie fact of the day: Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

[@cakejumper]

The more you know!

[@karabethdavies]

Come for the thumbnail, stayed for the content 👏🏼😂💀

[@cakejumper]

Thank you! Someone from my community gave me the idea for the thumbnail so I ran with it!

[@jakejennings6534]

I do not care for the law I will use barbie pink if I want to

[@cakejumper]

YEAH STICK IT TO THE MAN Or, in this case, to Barbie

[@blakksheep736]

9:20 that real Lavender Town type beat.

[@approximateCognition]

Ken.exe has stopped working. Look into his skull and, well: nOtHiNg HeRe

[@cakejumper]

I'm not sure Ken.exe was EVER working

[@blakksheep736]

Rewatching this after the Barbenheimer memes feels great.

[@julianna5652]

I think I had this game as kid,this just unlocked some memories holy shit

[@cakejumper]

RIGHT I completely forgot that this game even existed until fairly recently!

[@onsenmark]

"Hard." nope. Nope. NOPE!!! *runs away*

[@cakejumper]

HARD 😃

[@gottejos4896]

I am a barbie girl, rhis is a key, a key,, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key, key, a key,, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key, a key,

[@cakejumper]

a key a key a key a key a CELLPHONE SCANNER

[@enbilly]

this video was incredbly fun to watch, hope to see more stuff like this!!

[@theglaucusblue]

Like all of your videos that I've seen, this video was incredible. Thank you.

[@cakejumper]

no, thank YOU! I'm glad you're enjoying them!

[@bugraakis]

Excellent! He got away.

[@cakejumper]

Next time I'm bringing Barbie to Specsavers

[@KerbalRocketry]

Ken posting must continue

[@cakejumper]

Ken posting is forever

[@RetepAdam]

*Welp, we just missed that one!*

[@cakejumper]

I need to add the context that I was MASHING the x button to catch things 😭

[@SpikeyLoaf]

Alternative title: Cake cant finish a sentence this stream.

[@cakejumper]

I could barely catch my breath, I love when games are unintentionally hilarious

[@m_217]

This was so funny :D and i love the persona 5 music near the end hehehe

[@chell819]

You're a good detective! 🙂

[@cakejumper]

T H A N K S B A R B I E

[@fairygoodmuller8065]

this stream was hilarious. especially ken and "yOu'Re A gReAt DeTeCtIvE". who's idea was it to narrate the menu of all things H A R D

[@cakejumper]

Like I'm assuming it was for really young children with minimal reading ability but STILL

[@SchmichaelArt]

Ken's the only normal one here

[@OpossumPartyy]

So what's the song at the end before the outro music?

[@cakejumper]

It's Time Will Tell by T Stebbins!

[@OpossumPartyy]

@@cakejumper I KNEW it was Stebbins! Thank you for letting me know!

[@Tribdinosaur]

Half expecting Barbie to interrupt your words while you're replying to comments

[@cakejumper]

Don't tempt her to-YOU MAKE A GREAT DETECTIVE 😃

[@Akuda_Pearl]

Man Ken looks like me, monday mornings at work

[@cakejumper]

The feeling when you've teleported from 7pm Friday to 9am Monday

[@Akuda_Pearl]

​@@cakejumper little question :) are you going to upload the vod to this video? Cause it's really funny and i kinda want to see the full chaos 😊

[@cakejumper]

@@Akuda_Pearl I am! It should be over on the VOD channel in the next few days!

[@Akuda_Pearl]

@@cakejumper Thank youuuuu

[@blakksheep736]

1:19 any particular reason why "Mary"?

[@sigmasawayama]

9:52 what did the argentinians do 😭

[@Danominator]

A KEY-

[@mgw3133]

This barbie is dying inside

[@Yorah95]

perfect detective work there. this game could rival the Sherlock Holmes game in its complexity alone. and the Sports. Thrilling stuff. X games could learn a thing or two from this master piece of a game.

[@Azmomodius]

Hey lads whats the song at the end?

[@thecrunchyleaves]

I love when games place a prompt to investigate something and when you click it it just says "NOTHING HERE FUCKO, WHY'D YOU INVESTIGATE IT YOU BUMBLING FOOL?!" as if it's my fault the budget ran out when you wanted to put a small easter egg there :( I feel cheated! I demand less prerendered fmv's and more *cat jumps out of a closet you're trying to investigate* *player character looks at it as if they've never seen a cat before* type bs. Anywhomst, this was a really fun video, I'm sad I missed the stream! PS: give Ken a hug from me, he looks like he needs it :D

[@kaylanyce2830]

Ahh ken... Not a single thought in that head 😂

[@t-posetime2147]

5:48 "hey barbie how do you say 'here' in spanish"

[@ASimpleTroubleMaker]

Damn barbie movie: the game (2023) looks fire

[@cakejumper]

About time we started getting film tie in video games again

[@ASimpleTroubleMaker]

@@cakejumper I don't agree

[@liamconlon6738]

Why does the polygon model actually look a bit like Michael Cera 😭

[@cakejumper]

Oh GOD he kinda does

[@FeeshUnofficial]

I know it couldn't possibly be the case because the game is way too old for that but that entertainer really sounds like Robin Nelson

[@violetmeliora]

love love love! I’ve got nothing special to say, but I wanted to comment to feed al’s gore-rhythm

[@cakejumper]

Ahh thanks a million! 🎉

[@elizasteele9066]

Ken was the first AI art generation.

[@colin5227]

Nice vid!!!

[@cakejumper]

Thanks!! :D

[@wahoodotwav]

welp, we just missed that one! :D welp, we just missed that one! :D welp, we just missed that one! :D welp, we j

[@cakejumper]

I am not remotely joking when I say I was MASHING the button 🥲

[@Lattespices]

This game somehow has the same vibes as the original resident evil games?

[@cakejumper]

I think it's because the characters are SO unsettling

[@Lattespices]

@@cakejumper true true, tank controls too maybe?

[@KerbalRocketry]

A Keey

[@cakejumper]

A KEY

[@safaiaryu12]

I liked the video and realized a second too late that it went from 420 to 421. I'm sorry.

[@agame2593]

Nothing here

[@cakejumper]

N O T H I N G H E R E

[@EvilGeniusIIpi]

~HARD

[@bloody_pinata]

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

[@cakejumper]

*AIRHORN SOUND BRR BRR BRR BRRRRRRR*

[@alexanderwaring2176]

Do I get a prize for correctly guessing the next video?

[@cakejumper]

YES your prize is this bad boy, only has 200,000 miles on the clock 🚗

[@kova1282]

NOTIF GANG

[@cakejumper]

YOU WERE FIRST you win the PRIZE The prize is whatever Ken's having

[@kova1282]

Yippee! I love [redacted]!!

[@SevenVT12]

Ok slightly unrelated to the video but what’s your Blahajs name?

[@LacroixboiMarx]

😊“Hard!” “A key!” “Nothing here!”😊

[@cakejumper]

YOU'RE A GREAT DETECTIVE :D