This Is What Avoidants Feel When You Go No Contact

[@SK43996]

Totally true. They loooove the attention and want to keep you at a distance. The second you show interest or a desire for any kind of communication-they’re out.

[@BradBrowning]

Here's a vid for you. Please watch from start to end to get the entire message: kzbin.info/www/bejne/api3iXlqZ7uhntk

[@abcdaamazoniaa]

Just happened to me, 3 months of her making excuses to reach out.. the moment I ask to meet, she rejects me.. back to no contact!

[@johnolsen1661]

The AAA method = Always Avoid Avoidants

[@Grateful2911]

😂😂💯

[@dominikwolski9577]

Agree. Stay away if you don’t want a broken heart.

[@TheBeppie65]

😂

[@BradBrowning]

LOL. They can be one of the toughest situations to deal with but also one of the most rewarding once you get past their defences and understand them better.

[@Ye80s]

​@BradBrowning oh really ? I will likely end up in mental hospital first before I get past their defense.

[@tumbleweedconnection7906]

One thing that a lot of avoidants lack is self awareness!

[@BradBrowning]

That's true but please don't generalize it to all avoidants. A few actually are well aware of their behaviour. :-)

[@tumbleweedconnection7906]

@@BradBrowning very true

[@trendbuzz31]

Step 1. No contact, step 2. Go out have fun step 3. Find a new partner Step 4. Happiness and Love 🫡🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Apbt-rv7zw]

The shame doesn't drive them back into your arms. The shame often keeps them away because in you the partner is that you represent the shame they feel. The shame is what they will avoid... bogus. You forget that Avoidants will monkey branch to another person to get that validation they crave.

[@BradBrowning]

Let's be realistic here. Of course, they crave and deserve love just like everybody else. They also jump from one relationship to the next until they find someone who understands them... just like everybody else regardless of their attachment style.

[@Apbt-rv7zw]

@BradBrowning Realistically, they don't hold on to the one's they love because their triggers get actioned, and they are off n running. Even those who love and understand them, Avoidants still leave and discard because their Avoidant nature's are triggered. Insecure attachments like Avoidants could learn a lot from secures. Avoidants rarely self reflect and lack emotional maturity for long term relationship.

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@BradBrowning 1)Are u saying that THEY do reach out? 2)Are u referring to dismissive or fearful avoidant pls?

[@fakenattypolice8317]

Take the energy that your using to think about them and want them back and turn it inward on your own self care. Work on inner strength and peace daily and shifting your attachment style to a more secure one. In time you will attract the right people and be ready emotionally for them.

[@BradBrowning]

That's right. It's all about getting yourself back first before even attempting to fix/start a new relationship.

[@SharonVillarreal-k7w]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[@BradBrowning]

Breakups are never easy. This may help you process or deal with the breakup efficiently: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bavTaIZ8l8p2iLc but if you find yourself needing more guidance on how to lead a more fruitful life without your ex, then I suggest you get my Beat the Breakup e-book. I made sure it takes a wholesome approach so everyone can relate to and I spent a lot of time writing this and have given it careful thought, so I guarantee you'll find something useful in it to help you out and move forward in life without your ex and eventually be ready for someone totally new. Check it out at www.beatmybreakup.com

[@justpassingthrough4802]

@@SharonVillarreal-k7w Your post has broken my heart. I'm dealing with the initial break up of my girlfriend of 15 months. I did everything I could to show her my love. I was kind, generous and thoughtful, but she discarded me as if I was nothing..

[@sbeth82sc]

Please keep in mind even if your avoidant ex returns, this pattern does tend to repeat itself from the articles & research Ive done. Make sure they are truly aware of their behaviors and adapt change or at least welcome new behaviors to show up in a healthier way otherwise you are just returning to the same traumatized person that has no desire for change because you accept them as they are. I cannot stress this enough, you do not want repetitive heartbreak & disappointment.

[@BradBrowning]

That's right. Also seeking or encouraging your ex to seek treatment can help because if you're already in a toxic pattern, chances are you'll get more of that in the future unless good, lasting changes have been made.

[@speedyscouser1098]

It does repeat I've been there. She was self aware and still pulled away. She promised she wouldn't do it and still did. This is a self protection system they've had for so long it's normal to them. If you can walk away and find someone secure. Your partner isn't going to change

[@Genci-sj5qt]

Even if you know them perfectly and give them the space, they are the most likely of the attachment styles to disregard you over nothing and find someone else.. they go for someone who doesnt know them so they can casually date them.. its a lose lose with them.

[@marguskiis7711]

Yes, so it goes.

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. However this turns out, I suggest you try to heal first and get to a point of clarity. As mentioned in this vid, if your ex has the avoidant attachment style, ask yourself this hard question: is this something you want to put up with for the rest of your life, if you do get back together? If you're still not sure about what you're doing and need my help, then I suggest you sign up for my coaching program so I can assess your situation properly and guide you accordingly at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

[@EdelweisSusie]

What do Avoidants feel? Nothing - the name gives a clue!!

[@luisandresmarino9218]

So sick of avoidants

[@Pptsonyt8553]

same

[@BradBrowning]

They can be harder than most people to deal with but also rewarding once you get past their defences and understand them better. :-)

[@marknightingale5674]

Im an FA and I'm sick of myself 😢

[@Caa310]

@@BradBrowningit’s the hardest work. It’s like having an adult child. The immaturity, the lack of commitment and the surface level relationship is draining to say the least. I was a total after thought and it’s all about them. My ex got jealous of the attention I was giving our daughter. I am understanding of what they’ve been through but they know they don’t bring anything to the table and the way they deal with it is usually through gas lighting.

[@ЛичныйТелефон]

They break into your life in search of a source of warmth, receive it, and then disappear. They know what they do.

[@BradBrowning]

There's a difference between a narcissist and an avoidant. Here's how to tell: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oanKqKZ4mdmabqc

[@ЛичныйТелефон]

@BradBrowning thank you, difference is important, but in real life it's less important bc the results for their partners are the same.

[@alejandrocornejo4810]

good content, no contact is more effective when its long er than 3-4 weeks most of the time in my opinion.

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, it's why you ought to stay strong and give it AT LEAST 30 days without contacting your ex. Although much to my dismay, I can still see a few breaking the rule and then being stuck on what to do next.

[@missnicole310]

4 years of dealing with the repeated break up cycle. This time, he left 3 months after moving in. Claimed he cannot meet my needs and doesnt have the capacity. He said he isnt a good boyfriend and he will be alone and regret this decision for the rest of his life. I agreed with break up and suggested he find someone more like him and i was done. 2 months of NC and a month in, he blocks me on instagram. He knows i didn't want the break up, but i was giving it to him. Doubt he is coming back this time, especially after i said i was done. I miss him terribly, but i know he isn't going to work on himself. 😢 he said he cant change.

[@BradBrowning]

An on-and-off relationship often signifies underlying issues which have been left unaddressed for quite some time. Read this first to know what to expect when you have this kind of dynamic in your relationship: bit.ly/1HjcagC But if you're interested in making this your last breakup, sign up for my coaching program at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching especially if there's an available spot!

[@kikyaaakun]

I understand this pain… it’s worse when they truly showed they long for closeness but stuck in the freeze mood😢

[@tabarnakopoulos]

Why try to win back someone who discarded and disregarded you in the first place? What would be the point? Let them go if they don't want to work on themselves!

[@BradBrowning]

I've coached clients for more than a decade so I guess I'm qualified to answer this! :-) Everyone has different reasons for doing so, but a lot of the clients I've coached wanted to try to give it one last shot so they can move on without regrets or wondering about the what-ifs, particularly if the relationship and/or the person was a significant relationship to them.

[@WeGotTurboGaming]

They go no contact, get lonely. Only to find someone else. And not to come back to you, because they think you've moved on and feel to guilty to come back.

[@BradBrowning]

NO. They moved on first, or at the very least, heading towards that trajectory hence why they broke up with you. As tough as it may be, it's always best to come to terms with the breakup and the fact that you're both single now. It's important to remind yourself that you doing the "no contact" rule neither prevents nor encourages your ex to go with someone new. In other words there's really nothing you can do to keep your ex from getting with someone new if they want to. This is something I've mentioned here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jYelYZKia5WGpq8 So it boils down to two options, really. 1. Employ no contact and keep your dignity while respecting your ex's decision to breakup (why push yourself to someone who doesn't want you?) or Option 2: Do not do no contact and be pathetic. I always advise people to choose option 1 but really, which option you choose is ultimately up to you.

[@BiscuitsNGravy-p3l]

My question: do I really want someone back who is a liar, cheater, gaslighter, manipulator, etc? Someone who had issues showing and receiving affection but had no problem being secretive with her cell phone and reaching out and connecting with other men right under my nose? Someone who was at another man’s house while we were apart but would look me dead in my face and say “I’m not cheating on you.” Someone who called me the name of another man and claims it was a mistake and didn’t know him but I later found she had his name and phone number written down in a notebook? Nah, this is a person where you just don’t go no contact. You block them every which way but loose. This person is dangerous to be in your life.

[@BradBrowning]

Sounds messy. Sorry, this is a bit too complex for me to properly respond here… please consider signing up for coaching if you want to talk at length about your situation where we could get to the bottom of the issue/s: www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

[@milliekozary5667]

This type of person sound more like a narcissist

[@rivalsajax1500]

She left me 1 week ago and since i have discover your channel i now understand everything im anxious and shes avoidant i juste hope she comeback so we can rebuilt everything no contact since the break up

[@BradBrowning]

Hi! Welcome to my channel. This vid is for you, too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/api3iXlqZ7uhntk

[@gregkelly9775]

By the time they've come around, it will be too late 😔

[@BradBrowning]

That quick, huh. Was that the case with you?

[@gregkelly9775]

@BradBrowning Out of the blue,

[@justpassingthrough4802]

It is their fault. I'm dealing with this right now. I had no idea what an avoidant was and I'm 63 years old. I'm questioning whether or not I should even respond to her texts, calls or door knocks.

[@marguskiis7711]

You can do whatever you do, it does not matter.

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, if it's been weeks or around a month since the breakup. Avoidants need love, too. They just need someone willing/capable of being patient and able to understand them and how they operate in relationships. Once you understand them, you'll avoid triggers that make the situation worse and would try to make it a little less about you but would rather have a balanced approach on things. If you need help, sign up for my coaching program so I can give a more solid advice that's tailored to your situation, at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

[@marguskiis7711]

​@@BradBrowning sorry, but it does not work often. My ex gf is a classic FA. The first 6 months I did not know anything about avoidants and I did plenty of mistakes and she dumped me after series of misunderstandings. But before our reunion and the second cycle I learned about avoidants and made my behaviour perfect for avoidants. I was very loving and careful but gave a lot of space, was very calm, never was needy etc. We had zero conflicts. But she still dumped me totally out of the blue after second 6 months. Her explanations were vague and totally unfair towards me. She sent me nasty messages and stormed to new relationship fast. So, im my opinion, avoidants are hopeless case.

[@masha_fera]

He doesn't miss me. He said he cried for like 1 month after he had broken up with me but then he had to focus on his job and the feelings just disappeared in the process. He slept with someone else and didn't even text me on my birthday. Everything I heard from mutual friends is that he is happy and living his dream life. The last thing I heard is that he didn't want to congratulate me because he didn't want me to have feelings or false hope, because for him, everything is gone. He feels nothing. I just can't believe this. How can this be possible after he was so enthusiastic in the beginning, he was the one to pursue me, told me he was madly in love with me, introduced me to all of his friends and family, wanted to make future plans and even had photos of me as a background for his phone and smartwatch. It just hurts. Makes me feel disrespected. I miss our time together so much... How should I deal with this?

[@BradBrowning]

If your relationship was significant (at least 6 months or more) then I'm sure he misses you. It looks like se's masking his feelings for you and that's better compared to someone who's pretending to have feelings for you when they really don't. If it's the latter, usually the relationship will crumble in less than 6 months. But seeing as to how he's dating someone else already, I suggest to wait for a better time before interacting with your ex, however, don't wait around doing nothing. Take a leap of faith on a new path as well because you never know where life can take you, which may be better without your ex. Use this time to heal and prioritize yourself. But if it's been more than a year or so, make sure to check the signs if your ex has moved on, here: y2u.be/YVViZmY2x0I and this should help guide you on what to do for the time being: y2u.be/hlikXIfMYN8 However, make it a point to be really productive with your time being apart. Follow the tips here to help guide you further: y2u.be/gUB

[@masha_fera]

@@BradBrowning thanks for your reply. I'm definitely never ever texting him again, I have too much self respect and I know my worth. I just believed that at some point he would realize he screwed up and start missing me and reach out to me. But turns out this is not the case, he seems to be a heartless narcissist with no feelings. Over 4 months have passed after the breakup and he has not changed his mind at all. One month since we last saw each other. I don't think he will ever contact me again. Now I am just hoping he will fail to find a woman like me again and end up sad and alone.

[@dougpetrie6007]

@@masha_fera I've gone through, beat-for-beat, nearly the exact same thing - twice. With the same person. Without knowing your ex, there's one thing I can absolutely guarantee you: He has feelings for you, deep feelings, and likely always will. What you are seeing and hearing from mutual friends is the shell Avoidants use to protect themselves. What's going on inside him is - I promise you - an entirely different story. He's not contacting you because to do so would invite an eruption of all the feelings he's stuffed down inside. (How people do this, I don't know, but Avoidants do it without trying). Seeing you would dysregulate him in a huge way - guilt, shame, self-loathing and regret would overtake him - and alone later, he'd feel the pain of lost love. "Work on yourself" is the only way out. It's slow and painful but not too long from now you will have a complete and happy life. And he will be sad and alone. He'll just never show it. Hope this helps.

[@cantiaci]

@@masha_fera If he truly is a narcissist then he has been sad and alone his whole life. Narcs are incapable of forming normal relationships, they are simply unable to feel the emotions that mentally healthy people do. Whilst I understand that anger goes with your pain, be the better person than he ever will be and move on in the knowledge that whilst superficially he will too, his next victim will simply endure the same crap you did and they are not having the great life and future you once thought existed for you. Move forward, remember the red flags from last time and find someone who you can have a real relationship with and who will value you for who you are.

[@markb9691]

i was with my ex for 17 years she ran straight back to a ex partner she had stayed friends with

[@BradBrowning]

That's just terrible. So sorry to hear that. What happened? This may help you process or deal with the breakup accordingly: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bavTaIZ8l8p2iLc but if you find you need more guidance on how to lead a more fruitful life without your ex, get my Beat the Breakup Guide at www.beatmybreakup.com

[@ourjourney5061]

Same thing happened to me

[@Pablo-hl5lf]

It’s been 6 months after breakup. We are in no contact for 2 months. I’m missing her. She has another boyfriend right after our relationship, and i feel like i not been even important for her. We have some conversations but she acts indifferent..

[@BradBrowning]

Wait for a better time before interacting with your ex, however, don't wait around doing nothing. Take a leap of faith on a new path as well because you never know where life can take you, which may be better without your ex. Use this time to heal and prioritize yourself. But if it's been more than a year or so, make sure to check the signs if your ex has moved on, here: y2u.be/YVViZmY2x0I and this should help guide you on what to do for the time being: y2u.be/hlikXIfMYN8 However, make it a point to be really productive with your time being apart. Follow the tips here to help guide you further: y2u.be/gUB

[@livestrong8249]

U shuld find girl too..stop waiting for somone kicked ur ass to the curb

[@unrooolie]

Im sorry for you brother, just know there are many out there going what you are going through i love you dood, hope you are better and healed

[@b4bojebac]

Few days after breakup I left flowers at my ex's door and she contacted my parents to tell that I'm pursuing her...just left flowrs with letter "sorry"...

[@BradBrowning]

Hey man, that's sweet but that gesture is reserved when you're in a relationship. But watch this vid first: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hYaTlKCvnbire5I

[@b4bojebac]

@@BradBrowning I think I fucked up so hard on everything that she wont take me no mather what happens...we havent seen eachother for 30 days and college is in a week I hope that when she sees me after long time that something will change :(. We planned our life together ffs

[@DrPaulSpiritual]

Hey I can help you get your ex back to you again she will love you

[@tofasten888]

Thank you. He's not my ex, he's, my neighbor. After 3 weeks of no contact, he gave me groceries. He knows I love him. I'm 75 he's 47.

[@BradBrowning]

That's quite a thoughtful gesture! So you guys are back on speaking terms now?

[@tofasten888]

@@BradBrowning If he's a Narcissist, he may be luring me "back in". The news on Narcissism, is poisoning my mind. "Since my earlier comment", he's lost his job; has a new girlfriend and a new job. The unusual aspect is, he came to his door while talking to his girlfriend on the phone twice. I believe he wanted to make us aware of each other, that was over six weeks ago. It's possible his technique may have "backfired". Now I'm concerned that he's misogynistic. This month I have given him food gifts, for his Birthday and most recently twelve days ago. Right now, I believe he needs space, just in case he blames me. "Such as life", Thank you.

[@michaella5799]

@@tofasten888 your the mom he never wanted lol

[@Jessiethegirl23]

Im an anxious avoidant. I have done the push-pull cycle with the same 4 men over 7 years. No, I’m not kidding. The cycle can be as quick as 3 days or as long as 3 months. If its longer, then they are just using you narcissistically. And yes, there is a difference between a narc and an avoidant. We panic when it gets too intimate because we have always gotten hurt and disappointed. Our childhood was unstable and we had an emotionally unavailable parent. We also feel like we sabotage things and its unavoidable, so we pretend not to care. We shut down to avoid feeling anything. But yeah, we get lonely and we want to feel desired. We have an abandonment wound. We want to believe we have some control. So being ignored is mega triggering.

[@BubbaGunShrimp]

Former avoidant here, go to therapy. Your Welcome.

[@shonamiller5340]

Brilliant stuff, thank you!

[@Any66134]

So what I basically got out of this video, is I didn't win my avoidant ex back because I didn't text them after 40 days period?! As I felt it's not what I was supposed to do after so much giving from my side.

[@mhaas281]

well, its not a one size fit all situation. It may work most of the time but not all time.

[@stormmtl1]

À lot of coach ask to wait until the avoidant reach out

[@Any66134]

@@stormmtl1 If they never do?

[@stormmtl1]

@@Any66134 Well it's because they don't want and the relation is over. You can force someone to love you or to come back. I'm in the same boat, 31 days no contact after she reach (after 2 months) to tell me she was not indifferent to me and after 3-4 day's that she finally don't love me... So reaching out is to beg ?

[@BradBrowning]

It's best to get rid of the what-ifs instead of playing the waiting game, especially if this has been on your mind for most of the time. So yes, you can reach out to your ex after the 30 days straight of "no contact" period is over. In doing so, it's best to treat the situation with fresh eyes, so it's crucial to keep things fun and light and gently coax your ex into responding the same way. Here are the basics on what to do when it comes down to it. I also suggest you watch from start to the end and NOT skip any parts so you can maximize these tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYHGl3qbf9aIj9E including asking yourself these very important questions to ask yourself before starting the process: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmesZp5ratWheac but if you need the step-by-step process on what to do, including what to text or say during the process, either hire me as your coach, refer to my other vids or get the 2.0 version of my Ex Factor Guide at www.breakupbrad.com

[@rjeffadpt7385]

They just replace you.

[@marguskiis7711]

Yes

[@swagyboyX]

Brad I got a question should I still have contact with the family of my ex? Or should u avoid

[@BradBrowning]

That's a resounding no for me. Take time to heal first. You're also welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you're unsure how to go about this or you're planning to do something but not sure if it's a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice, at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

[@alchemicalsoul]

I was very oblivious to my own avoidant behaviors in the past. My awareness has been unraveling over the last several years after experiencing a DA myself. I believe that the attachment styles are too rigid. We are much more complex and nuanced. When a person evaluates their past relationships they will see various stages of overt and covert anxiety. You don't kkow what you don't know, but blanketing your behavior in the context of attachment styles is limiting. It's key to size yourself up and learn how you operate. Also consider whether you have the kind of nervous system and psychological make up that can navigate interpersonal relationships.

[@BradBrowning]

Attachment patterns have been widely accepted and even applied to most therapeutic practices. With that said, a person can indeed have more than one attachment style in a specific relationship and it can change from one relationship to the next.

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

He didn’t break up with me …. I did …. bc he said he has other women …. very likely not true, he just said it to push me away…. freaked out by our closeness. What do I do??? Neither of us has reached out in 2 months now. 😢

[@BradBrowning]

If you're sure he was just bluffing, then you can initiate contact. Apply the tips here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j2bNqIOXrdJ9i68

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning tysm for your response! Can’t be 100% sure. I think he was triggered bc I used the wording , “We’re TOGETHER over a year now.” AND/OR I had taken space for several weeks bc he wouldn’t apologize for crude remarks he had made. IMO he is FA with strong DA lean, for what that’s worth.

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning I watched the vid u suggested. However there is no mention that it applies to avoidants …. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MSC-Sharika]

Hi Brad , My bf took the decision to broke up because of the reason that his family won't accept the relationship.I have tried my maximum to make him understand the real situation and promised him that i will help him out of that..but he is saying that he is afraid of again being to relationship in a situation where families won't accept.. Can I get this relation back ? Pls respond

[@BradBrowning]

What's the deal with his family? If your ex is in the right age to make his own decisions that’s independent from their parents, then there may still be a chance. Otherwise, it's best to consider moving on from this, okay? I’m not quite sure why parents had to get involved in the first place. It's either you're both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

[@missmo463]

78 days NC. He blocked me from social media right after the breakup. Then he also blocked me from WhatsApp (his personal number) a month ago, but not on his work number or linked in. I miss him, but i’m angry at him. I guess I’m going through the stages of grief. I’m not sure if I want him back, but I the block and no contact seems a bit harsh regardless. Not sure what to do here. Feeling a bit hopeless tbh.

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear. Are you still blocked up to this day? Here are the most common reasons for being blocked and my thoughts about it, including what to do: y2u.be/s52sRweJlm8 and don't forget to take the quiz if you still want to know what your chances are and/or still have questions on what to do after, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz

[@missmo463]

@@BradBrowning hi Brad! I’m still blocked after 80 days. He hasn’t blocked me on his work phone, or linked in, but I removed him from linked a couple days ago. Also, I have taken your test a few times but I have never received the results. I do receive other emails from your page but never the quiz results (I checked my junk mail as well and nothing). 😢

[@missmo463]

I have completed the test repeatedly and I have never received the results.

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear... the quiz has been working fine as far as I know, lots of other people have already taken it recently and received results successfully. Please try again using a new browser (ie. use Safari if you previously used Chrome to take the quiz) and a different email address. Also please check if it didn't end up in your email's spam folder or something. Hope that helps, and thanks for taking the quiz.... best of luck!

[@Jacksamuel1997]

Could you please make a video about why an ex texts you with something insignificant like ‘how are you doing’ and after a really short convo you leave the conversation because they didn’t ask anything else or say anything else. Also when will they likely text again the second time and if so what could they be saying?

[@BradBrowning]

I already did! :-) That's what I call the "check-in" text and believe it or not, your ex is somewhat expected to send one or more of these sooner or later and I've got just the vid for that. Discussed that in one of the vids, including how to handle that kind of message and when and/or how to reply, including what not to text, (so watch to the end of the vid) here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qpbZY2Cip6-kbdE

[@Jacksamuel1997]

@@BradBrowning thank you brother. I really needed this. I was about to give in today after 52 days of no contact

[@Jacksamuel1997]

@@BradBrowningBut now it’s almost 3 weeks since she texted me I’m now on day 60. But it’s driving me crazy idk why she really texted me and if she will text me again. I got a huge urge to call her and ask her to meet up to talk. When could I expect another text or did I mess something up

[@starchoo4616]

Why they don't think to therapy themself better to keep selfish unheal toxic behaviour put on their partner

[@BradBrowning]

Some seek therapy while others are completely oblivious to their attachment style.

[@benjaminpennington7564]

Shes came back twice, has 4 other men to answer ro, looking for an excuse to.blame me for everything. She caused drama and became hateful two separate times, one incolved my brother so now half my family moved out, then she foes from saying i miss you and checking on you to telling me im no good for her holding gifts over mt head when i help with groceries and taking to the doctor and being a parent to her abusive son. So i told her exactly what she did. And she did not like thta. Finally got a quick text from her after blo king her ywice, so i told her i wanted to build a family with her and take care of them and i do love and mis her, she kept choosing shitty men and a sexual predator over the one who drops anything im doing to see her whether in town or 6 hours away. Were2both in the worst part of our lives in other areas. I lost my mom. Shes getting divorced and taken advantage of. But now what? Ive never had the balls to pull a move like this to open someones eyes.

[@confidenceblesson]

Thank you 😊 brad.. this video was helpful

[@BradBrowning]

You're welcome! Happy to know you find it helpful. Please like and subscribe, I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@iEdit2D4y]

what if the avoidant blocked you because you chased too much? do they come back?

[@lucywood4988]

What to do if ex cheated and moved away with someone new

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. Sorry, but chances are your beau has been at least emotionally cheating on you. Discussed that in depth here: y2u.be/7KE6nb4-ndA There's no easy way to say this but the answer is is to move on, especially if your ex doesn't seem to be regretting their actions and asking to get back together. Most of the time, a lot of people would move on, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you're on and what your views are. But take into consideration about what I’ve mentioned here, too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2OahX-brrqgrck There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it's personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there's been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Whatever the case, it's important you forgive yourself because no one's perfect, and forgive your ex too. Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place but never force things with him if you can see he no longer wants to try. Take care!

[@annemanuel949]

Just move on its hurts but you will be okay after a few weeks and don’t take them back because if you do accept them its not healthy you don’t have peace of mind you will keep doubting all the time the trust is not the same again.

[@marguskiis7711]

I have never seen that NC works on women. 80% of them move on, easily find another man.

[@BradBrowning]

It won't if that's all you do. The no contact rule, although it plays a very crucial role, is NOT the magic bullet. This vid is for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/baHCqXyvodSLhrs

[@yxung_nif0628]

I'm not reaching out, I'm done with the push and pull. It's annoying.

[@fivebooks8498]

She’s definitely going to have sex with another guy during no contact. You have to decide if you want her back after that. If not then just walk away immediately. Don’t waste your time.

[@BradBrowning]

Although a possibility, not all women (or men for that matter) automatically do that. A few prefer to be completely on their own for a while so it really depends on the person you're dealing with. I assume you know your ex well so you would know for sure if she does that or not. Take care!

[@fivebooks8498]

Maybe but I’m 50 years old and I’ve never seen a case when it wasn’t happening. Most likely if you think you know of a case it’s just that she hid the affair well and you just don’t see it.

[@jaredrowberry1238]

Been together just over 6yrs, and have a child together. She started saying she needed space, then i begged, then it was shes unhappy, then she says she was miserable for 3years. And never once showed it. So im just in shock. She says shes done in this moment in her life, but not completely done... wtf. I have tried no contract, but its hard and i think me beging so much is just pushing her farther away. I miss her. She so angry at me. I just want a striaght up answer, "i dont want you anymore". Idk what to do. I want try no contact fornlong time, but every time we do drop off my kid, its like a trigger for me, and i thrive for her. Please help me Brad.

[@jaredrowberry1238]

I paid for the house and everything in it. Helped her with success in her life. She moved out with her best friend Katie, lives in her basement. Ex always said she needed the bare minimum, but never said what the bare was, if I knew I would have done double. I have done nothing wrong. I am 9 years older than her. She says, " if you could prove to me that your the 40yr old man I feel in love with that would be fucking cool." But I am the same guy, I'm right here.

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. Yes, it's never easy, especially if you have kids and/or other responsibilities still tied to your ex. In this case, it's best you do limited contact or what I call the dynamic "no contact" rule instead of the full on silence associated with the no contact rule. Prepare for things to be tough but if you play your cards right and depending on the extent of damage done, it can actually still be salvaged. Try to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be by applying the tips here as much as possible, in addition to my newer vids I've posted: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYXNdnR9f7yHq6M AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnW9o6GEnZ1_hck or for a comprehensive guide on how to go about things, consider getting my Ex Factor Guide 2.0 at www.breakupbrad.com

[@YadiYadiYad73]

Hi Brad... My ex and I were together for 2 years. We broke up in July and shortly after began following your program. I went 30 days no contact & eventually reinitiated contact. After meeting up in person, I admittedly made the mistake of not playing it cool with my avoidant ex. He's responsive to texts, but brief and sometimes delayed. Says he's unhappy since ending, but that his mind is made up about our break up and he's enjoying his time alone. I've since decided cutting off communication again would be the best thing for me and my mindset... but I am wondering if you think going no contact would be the right approach considering he is an avoidant and may have needed longer than the initial 30 days?

[@BradBrowning]

If you truly think the situation requires it, then yes. The average time for the no contact period is ideally within the 4-6 week range. Just take note of the mistake most people make here so you won't be making them: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5SloYGoeal7pNk Also don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. If you want your ex back, then keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not. Here's a quick overview to hopefully help you out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rpi1YWaImLpro9k it's best to go by the golden rules here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5ytYqyYqqt8fqc Have you checked out my guide yet? It may help to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!

[@Lovewillconquereverything]

Hi Brad! Thanks for your wise advice. My avoidant ex broke with me out of the blue 1.5 year ago after a 3.5 years relationship. He said he felt like the spark wasn't there anymore and he didn't had time for himself. I admit the routine started to get in our way and that I pushed for him to meet my family a few days before but I really think that the relationship we had was one worth fighting for. I read a lot about getting an avoidant ex back, I managed to go no contact for several months, we ran into eachother by chance about 6 months ago and chit chat a little. Do you think liking one of his post on social media would be a good move to let him know I'm not angry with him? What to do if he does reach out and if he doesn't?

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, you can do that or just straight reach out to your ex. In doing so, it's best to treat the situation with fresh eyes, so it's crucial to keep things fun and light and gently coax your ex into responding the same way. Here are the basics on what to do when it comes down to it. I also suggest you watch from start to the end and NOT skip any parts so you can maximize these tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYHGl3qbf9aIj9E including asking yourself these very important questions to ask yourself before starting the process: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmesZp5ratWheac but if you need the step-by-step process on what to do, including what to text or say during the process, either hire me as your coach, refer to my other vids or get the 2.0 version of my Ex Factor Guide at www.breakupbrad.com

[@Lovewillconquereverything]

@@BradBrowning After I liked one of his post he changed his profile picture with one of him that I took when we were together. Is this a good sign?

[@anitam390]

What if they’re not lonely because they found someone else?

[@BiscuitsNGravy-p3l]

Then you let them be someone else’s problem. Thanks God He spared you. Trust and believe, they are going to repeat the cycle with the new person eventually.

[@BradBrowning]

That someone isn't you. Wait for a better time before interacting with your ex, however, don't wait around doing nothing. Take a leap of faith on a new path as well because you never know where life can take you, which may be better without your ex. Use this time to heal and prioritize yourself. But if it's been more than a year or so, make sure to check the signs if your ex has moved on, here: y2u.be/YVViZmY2x0I and this should help guide you on what to do for the time being: y2u.be/hlikXIfMYN8 However, make it a point to be really productive with your time being apart. Follow the tips here to help guide you further: y2u.be/gUB

[@pw2pg]

It’s been 7 weeks/51 days since I went into no contact with my fearful avoidant ex. He first said “Rotating because I can’t see you with someone else 😔”, then when I mirrored his message by saying “Rotating because I can’t see me with someone else either 😔”. He unfollowed/blocked me, and deactivated his account for 3 weeks until he reactivated it again. I am wanting to reach out to him next week at the end of 8 weeks, because I think he is too afraid to do it out of fear of rejection. Is this a good idea?

[@BradBrowning]

Absolutely! You can reach out to your ex after the 30 days straight of "no contact" period is over. In doing so, it's best to treat the situation with fresh eyes, so it's crucial to keep things fun and light and gently coax your ex into responding the same way. Here are the basics on what to do when it comes down to it. I also suggest you watch from start to the end and NOT skip any parts so you can maximize these tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYHGl3qbf9aIj9E including asking yourself these very important questions to ask yourself before starting the process: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmesZp5ratWheac but if you need the step-by-step process on what to do, including what to text or say during the process, either hire me as your coach, refer to my other vids or get the 2.0 version of my Ex Factor Guide at www.breakupbrad.com

[@stormmtl1]

Let us know if it works please

[@LifeEnchanted.]

So question I guess I was just discarded. He got mad at me hung up the phone and I haven’t heard from him. It’s been almost 2 weeks now, but in the past couple of days, he’s been putting these songs on an old playlist that we share on Spotify. But they’re not sad. I miss you songs. They’re like oh kinda like I’m over you and You didn’t love me kind of songs. What do I do with that? I have not contacted him because it does feel childish to me. Am I doing right by just not contacting him.

[@BiscuitsNGravy-p3l]

Save yourself the misery and leave that man to be someone else’s headache. He ran away for two weeks? Terminate that relationship. You deserve better.

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, especially since the breakup is still fresh. It's time to find a more positive outlet for your emotions. It's totally okay to cry your eyes out (just NOT in front of your ex), this is healthy, but try to balance it with other stuff. Just whatever you do, make sure to heed the tips from this vid at all times: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJrOiGePjqhsr9E So keep your mind occupied, get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide 2.0, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenarios and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back...and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

[@AntonyLi-ot4bs]

Is posting multiple stories and an Instagram note can be seen as a form of non-essential communication or communicating with her. I was trying to gauge her if she consistently views my stories but i never contacted her since 6 or 7 days ago

[@BradBrowning]

It doesn't have to be a hindrance for as long as you know what you're doing. So just be careful you don't go down that proverbial rabbit hole. I suggest you leverage social media to your advantage. Here's how: kzbin.info/www/bejne/emKqoYVrgqajh80

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@BradBrowning 1)Are u saying that THEY do reach out in time? 2)Are u referring to dismissive or fearful avoidant pls?

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning ty 🙏

[@BradBrowning]

More so on dismissive and fearful avoidants but avoidants in general tend to do that MOST of the time if you play your cards right...more than any other attachment style. Here's another vid that explains it in great detail: kzbin.info/www/bejne/api3iXlqZ7uhntk

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning u edited. Previously tonight u said FA. Confused. 🫤

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning Here’s the kicker: I believe he is FA with strong DA lean. What on earth do I follow? 😨

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

@@BradBrowning “More so on dismissive AND fearful avoidant…. “ Typo?

[@HotRodHarley06]

Do these things happen when they jump into a new relationship? I didn't go no contact right away, I'm there now. I've been hard blocked while we were talking about good memories.

[@BradBrowning]

It's probably a case of too much too soon, which is why it's really important to be giving each other space right from the onset of the breakup. Anyway here are the most common reasons for being blocked and my thoughts about it, including what to do: y2u.be/s52sRweJlm8 and don't forget to take the quiz if you still want to know what your chances are and/or still have questions on what to do after, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz

[@karyannalandon3479]

This feels like the guy is saying your ex will miss you and you will get back together. I feel like this is all false promises. Maybe that will happen. Or maybe it won’t.

[@BradBrowning]

I'm saying the no contact rule is especially helpful if you've been dealing with an avoidant. As it is, you may have a unique situation so you need to understand their nature first to understand the likelihood of that happening.

[@karyannalandon3479]

@ but then doesn’t the avoidant just avoid again? Not trying to be difficult but it doesn’t seem like they can just “change” their attachment style. Doesn’t this create a cycle of needing no contact? Do avoidants ever become healthy relationship partners?

[@bsexboy]

​@karyannalandon3479 it does but people shouldn't be dating till their secure

[@Dani-tl7bz]

Will no contact still effect the avoidant ex if he starts seeing someone only 1 month after he broke up with me?

[@BradBrowning]

It will work for you to get clarity over the situation. Assuming your ex is really a DA, they'll tend to repeat the same pattern anyways unless this same ex gets help.

[@KingDev30]

Is that No Contact will had effect if she is avoidant from a 6-7 months ago and I tried to write her at least once a week ? Will have effect if I do it for a month or so ?

[@BradBrowning]

If she hasn't responded the first time then wait at least a few weeks before initiating again. You may also want to check what sort of text messages you've been sending your ex. It's a different story if you've been trying for so long with all the right moves and still no progress. It just depends how this plays out really. Focus on the second and third phases instead. It helps to learn the basics here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas and/or better yet, read my guide to guide you every step of the way, at www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

[@AWA89r]

Please make video about what if I was the one who filed divorce, but he acted as my fault! He pushed me away for years, we don’t have sex for 12 years. He is severely avoidant, I’m in NC for 1.5 months now after 2.5 months physically separated. He acts weird or avoiding me when having to see me due to drop off the kids and activities.

[@BradBrowning]

He obviously hated the rejection since you filed for divorce. What did you expect? Not too sure about him being avoidant though. He could just be avoiding you while the divorce process is taking place.

[@outcastofficialmusic7571]

me and my long distance girlfriend broke up a week ago after a 5months relationship …so the no contact is going to work for the long distance? we never met each other though i really want her back everything u said is true i was over loving and over caring but i never knew she was like an avoidant

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. As you've noticed, the distance will always be a major culprit. Is this long distance scenario temporary? Because if it isn't, then it may be as good as over. Watch/review and apply the pointers here first: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYK8ZYFmadqpqqM AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5_JiIWAh9ehd9U However, if you believe your situation is unique and there may still be a chance between you two, then let's take a look at your situation in-depth via my one-on-one coaching session at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

[@Popeyethesailor-x5l]

What if he said “ i dont love you “ after the breakup?

[@BradBrowning]

Hi! This vid is for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6m6imhtjaiiq9E

[@lofi_mood04]

Hy brad my ex reached out after 30 days of no contact and asked how are you and about my upcoming exams I replied politely and ended the chat as much I can and now there is no communication what should I do ??

[@1224polo]

stay no contact

[@BradBrowning]

That's great! Keep your interactions light and fun until the time comes where you're both looking forward to meet up again. As a reminder, focus on texting and try not to meet up when one or both of you aren't ready yet. The phase you're on (assuming you've done the first phase correctly which is the 30-day no contact rule) is the second phase where you're rebuilding attraction. It's part two of the 3-phase system in my guide but here's a quick overview to help you understand better: y2u.be/7JtmVbDkblw but as you go on this phase, you'll notice one or more signs here: y2u.be/nmRM3dZAzDA and the best you can do is to continue to play your cards right and move to the third phase when you're both ready. Good luck!

[@Timberius]

What is an avoidant?

[@BradBrowning]

This vid should help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oanKqKZ4mdmabqc

[@bujjimba725]

Are Avoindants and Tsunderes same persons?

[@BradBrowning]

Try to see if they display the same characters as avoidants which I've mentioned here and you'll have your answer: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jqDWZI1qnZl7hKc

[@bojidarcarski8263]

We have been together since november 2022 but we broke up recently .Mine is the classic avoidant says that they dont want to date no one for a while after the break up and they start daiting to be fair she didint try do date someone reached out to her i just let her have the relationship and walked away and i know she will come back i will forgive her beacuse we are just teens but i will show her thatit wont be this easy for her to take me back

[@BradBrowning]

Thanks for sharing!

[@yellowtheresunshine]

What about adter the dismissive avoidant has monket branched?

[@BradBrowning]

Wait for a better time before interacting with your ex, however, don't wait around doing nothing. Take a leap of faith on a new path as well because you never know where life can take you, which may be better without your ex. Use this time to heal and prioritize yourself. But if it's been more than a year or so, make sure to check the signs if your ex has moved on, here: y2u.be/YVViZmY2x0I and this should help guide you on what to do for the time being: y2u.be/hlikXIfMYN8 However, make it a point to be really productive with your time being apart. Follow the tips here to help guide you further: y2u.be/gUB

[@nusraatmahzabeen8888]

What if they have other option 🙃

[@BradBrowning]

Hi! It's time to take a look at the bigger picture here. It doesn't really matter what your ex is doing. Chances are your ex is rebounding anyway but the point is you shouldn't be focused on that right now. That's all out of your control. Focus on yourself instead and show (NOT tell) your ex you accept her decision to break up. If you do, you'll accept that you're both single and therefore you'd stop overanalyzing every little stuff. All right? Here are the basics to getting an ex back: y2u.be/aeGNPBdpnsI and you can see that the 30-day "no contact" rule is an absolute must. I also suggest that you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total and the "no contact" rule is only the first), including what to say, do or not do, etc. Good timing is essential! Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com/mbuy

[@sharnamajor]

Yeah he ain't coming back 😂 it's been 2 and a half months of radio silence.

[@BradBrowning]

You can reach out to your ex after the 30 days straight of "no contact" period is over. In doing so, it's best to treat the situation with fresh eyes, so it's crucial to keep things fun and light and gently coax your ex into responding the same way. Here are the basics on what to do when it comes down to it. I also suggest you watch from start to the end and NOT skip any parts so you can maximize these tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYHGl3qbf9aIj9E including asking yourself these very important questions to ask yourself before starting the process: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmesZp5ratWheac but if you need the step-by-step process on what to do, including what to text or say during the process, either hire me as your coach, refer to my other vids or get the 2.0 version of my Ex Factor Guide at www.breakupbrad.com

[@coreysanders7140]

I went with no contact. Only four days into it my ex texted me.

[@BradBrowning]

What about? Unless your situation falls under one or more of the scenarios here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m5zCZaqmoLtpbMU AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/jWjMdGCdfdKNaKM it's best you ignore contact from your ex. If your ex continues to reach out to you during the no contact stage, however, then this really depends on the frequency and nature of the contact from your ex and whether or not you've reached the phase where you're supposed to be talking again. The only exception is if your ex asks for you back and is sincere about it. If your ex continually messages you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, more so if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? These are reasons to respond, including messages where they get angry due to your lack of response. Discussed that in full detail here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYXNdnR9f7yHq6M So if your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses their power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day "no contact" rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mJiyeGypZsuUmZo