TikTokers Track Russian Troop Movements | Twitter Users Will Help Pick Oscar Winners

[@09spidy]

"That would be... I don't know what that would be, I'm 57" It's OK, Stephen, I'm 37 and I still don't understand TikTok.

[@shivverma3236]

hey im 17 and even i dont get it

[@id10t98]

If you're a woman, it's the place to post your video of why a guy should never call you again, and if you're a male Cult 45-ist, it's the place to go watch videos and then believe everything you seen and heard because you "...saw it on tik tok."

[@tomsgrexit]

Heck, I'm 28 and I don't get it! I just watch tiktok vids on youtube 😅

[@Echo81Rumple83]

38 over here.

[@MrMJmusicLover]

@@tomsgrexit I'm 49 and I get it, but I don't get Likee. 🤔

[@NewMessage]

Sounds to me like the accounting firm just figured out they're about to be embroiled in massive a fraud case, and they're trying to disavow their own numbers before the charges start slapping down.

[@grmpEqweer]

😁

[@johnarnold893]

@ New message........yup but the horses are already out of the barn.

[@jozz2248]

@@johnarnold893 hopefully they can make some hay

[@ekibirigeable]

That's EXACTLY what's happening!

[@jamesgoines7663]

They quit being T***** accounting firm and admitted that 10 years of financial years don't make sense, but that doesn't get them off the hook. They will still have to present to the justice system how the financials were calculated. Dropping T***** means the accounting firm doesn't want to be associated with him in the future.

[@loganlabbe9767]

It ought to be illegal to settle sexual assault cases with money. It makes rich creeps above the law.

[@gamerman782]

Like always, then?

[@Echo81Rumple83]

If that were the case, they might as well hand over all of their assets. Nothing hurts a rich man more than making them dirt poor in about five seconds.

[@davidladjani108]

It ought to be illegal to settle cases with money. Fixed.

[@gamepapa1211]

While we're dreaming of utopia, I'd like living wages and universal healthcare as well, please.

[@cagedtigersteve]

It also makes accusers not be able to scam rich people.

[@LoPhatKao]

as a canadian, let me say: your "freedoms" and "rights" also come with "obligations" and "responsibilities" if you have a job that requires cross-border travel -- get your fkin shots, or get a new _local_ job

[@oneofus5634]

Amen, Baby...Amen.

[@Tubepoacher]

My friend is a truck driver, I live in quebec. 90% of truck drivers are vaccinated, the truck drivers narrative is totally high jacked at this point.

[@Kreepie11]

@@Tubepoacher Which is sad, because they do need more worker protection. People could be screaming about that right now and actually bring some positive change. But no, let's pretend vaccines are poison and that we're saving the younger generation from them. *Sigh* they sure don't seem as worried about saving the kids from climate change.

[@tricia2701]

AMEN!

[@ChubbyUnicorn]

I suspect these vaxx protests are simply an attempt to destabilize democracies across the globe. Paid actors start it & dumb, conspiracy theorists jump on board & voila' social destabilization. The tea party started with paid schills, x45 campaign, paid actors, rallies, paid actors...the right learned if they create an event dumb people join & it takes in a life of it's own.

[@megan893]

"The Prince Andrew Foundation to Stop Prince Andrew", LMAO!!! That was hilarious 🤣😭

[@richardcochrane1966]

The "charity" receiving the money is run by Victoria Giuffre - hmmm, I wonder how much of THAT money will be seen by female victims & how much will be siphoned off by the charity boss?

[@sogghartha]

@@richardcochrane1966 as if being sexually abused isn't enough, you want to attack her character as well.. classy.

[@veramae4098]

The Queen has also stripped him of all honors. He's no longer to use "His Royal HIghness". Google: queen Elizabeth prince Andrew stripped I think she knows it's true and is about as enraged as she can get.

[@mariebelle3493]

When your accountant quits on you in the middle of an investigation to saved his ass!! Guilty!! 😂

[@gamepapa1211]

You know, six years ago, when you told me that Tik-Tok will be used to monitor the Russian military movement into the Ukraine, I would've laughed you out of the room. Thanks to Clownigula, that doesn't sound like the most ridiculous thing to ever happen anymore.

[@cleverusername9369]

6 years ago if someone told you about Tik Tok, they'd be from the future because Tik Tok didn't exist yet

[@mattep74]

So the next time russia mobilises they will shut down internet

[@gamepapa1211]

@@cleverusername9369 even more reason to laugh them out of the room.

[@PistonHonda87]

They don’t monitor anything. The military has drones and satellites. The best/worst this does is spread panic, which is currently making people in Russia laugh.

[@ricksimon9867]

@@gamepapa1211 Six years ago was 2016. In 2014, so even two years before that, people posted videos of the war is Eastern Ukraine on youtube and elswhere. So ... eight-year coma? Congrats on waking up!

[@debbiedezwaan1563]

Canadian here. I live in a rural area however the cancer is spreading. I was the target of a rabid trucker supporter yesterday for daring to have a different opinion of the way they're gong about this. Rabid!! I found myself yelling back so I left the situation asap. I couldn't believe I was stuck in a trumper-like movie reel - smfh.

[@tomb613]

As an American I apologize for the Trumpy sickness crossing the border into Canada. The trumpyvirus is a frightening mental health problem and I would not wish it upon my worse enemy and certainly don't want to wish it upon the beautiful country of Canada... Good luck!!!

[@akifiskandar4186]

Visit some international news KZbin channels the comment section are full of rabid supporters of the Truckers protesters. One of them is an Indian news channel called WION which seems to attract people with a righthist leaning view. And most Indians I see in the comments seem to support the protest.

[@samanthageorge6447]

I hope you’re safe! Sorry you have to deal with that i hope you have a great rest of your week!

[@terilw]

Getting dumping by your accounting firm during tax season…that’s rough.

[@jamesgoines7663]

But he does have H.R. Cell Block, hopefully waiting to serve him for a very long time.

[@UkeCan1]

@@jamesgoines7663 And Manston and Manston.

[@timothydavis9181]

I didn't think of until I read your comment. And it put a big smile on my face. O-YA, let's see who he can find that will take him as a client. Especially after it was explained that almost 10 years of his filings can't be trusted. HA!

[@1wildwackywoman]

“To whatever is hot in Celsius”……That slipped by too quick. It deserved more attention.

[@dahawk8574]

7:11

[@nfspbarrister5681]

Ey...Mr Colbert sniding the metric system again!

[@dahawk8574]

​@@nfspbarrister5681, in the US, we know it is extremely hot because the temperature goes into triple digits. We know it is extremely cold, because the temperature gets a minus sign. We know you're driving extremely fast because your speedometer gains that third digit. There are HUGE advantages to our system of weights and measures. This only scratches the surface. Metric has severe disadvantages. Colbert's mockery is rooted in fact, as is typical. And that's one of the secrets as to why his brand of comedy resonates with so many. Many here in the USA, at least.

[@dougstubbs9637]

H&R CELLBLOCK……Respect to the writer..😂😂😂🤩🎤

[@sea_triscuit7980]

I love that the IRS will track you down and hold you responsible (with interest) for a mistake THEY made but can't do their jobs when it comes to people they're supposed to regulate

[@ClayLoomis1958]

Ah, but the regulations for the rich are different than those for the average American.

[@lifevest1]

"Crypto is a danger to society! Oh wait? you made $1000 on it? We're gonna need about 40% of that..."

[@UlshaRS]

@@lifevest1 you say that likes it's a bad thing and not how the stock market function, which mostly benefits tax dodgers and companies that get federal bailouts when they tank their legally grey investments

[@marvelgirlxvii]

The IRS is extremely under funded rn. Most of their employees are over 50. Most of their records are kept on tapes from the 60s.

[@F8Tributo]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="178">2:58</a>- The ASMR whispering war reel! "The troops are marching, left, right, war is pretty cool, munch, munch"! Hah hah ha ha! That was a good one!

[@lorigoshert6667]

The stuff of nightmares for someone with misophonia

[@dahawk8574]

What do you know, an accounting firm that’s actually forced to be accountable.

[@laurabomhoff3999]

Only in situations such as this.

[@patrickbuhr2258]

Ha ..

[@nancythomas6447]

🤣 this is why I simply love you Mr Colbert, your timing is impeccable!

[@humanonearth1]

I get Colbert's Canada bit, but you might want to consider. Almost half of the millions to support the Canadian version of Jan. 6 came from the USA.

[@deborahanntaylor375]

and as a Canadian, I find this frightening and disturbing.

[@OneSkyWarrior]

These radicals think they're above the law. We don't know them. Lol.

[@johnsilver8059]

To be fair, most Americans don’t know that there are different parts of Mexico, the UK, or Germany either.

[@krejados1]

The CIA has been covertly infiltrating and influencing sovereign nations around the world for decades, sometimes violently.

[@Tubepoacher]

@@krejados1 this wasn't the cia

[@aljoschalong625]

"Prince" Andrew buying his way out of his mess shows once again: If you just have money, you get a different justice. The signal for wealthy sex-offenders: Go ahead!

[@DE-xt7jv]

I knew Prince Andrew would end this way.

[@timothydavis9181]

They should pay the money AND go to jail. That would be justice. Almost all criminal penalties state "a fine, imprisonment or both"

[@ClayLoomis1958]

I'm sure O.J. Simpson would agree.

[@petem.3719]

It was a civil case. If he paid his way out of a criminal case, you'd have a point. Civil cases are all about money. Pay now or pay later.

[@petem.3719]

@@timothydavis9181 Why wasn't he charged criminally? That's the question. Settling a civil case isn't getting you out of anything but some extra legal fees maybe.

[@summerbrewster5555]

The camera panning right to Jon's face at the end of the Twitter joke was hilarious. Jon looked truly terrified. 🤣

[@an882]

They rehearse that, do you not know this?

[@summerbrewster5555]

@@an882 yes Stephen practices everyday on Jon to nail down that easy going repertoire & nonchalant laughter they have with each other.

[@lennythecleaner]

Why did they pan to Jon after saying butt burger pimp 420? 😐

[@GarretGrayCamera]

It's a cut not a pan.

[@benjaminshepard]

I'm a little disappointed in Stephen, to have doxxed Jon during the monologue. It's so much classier to do that off-handedly during an interview.

[@this_hive]

Props to the writers room on this one! lots of quick quips, you're always so on point with great material and this one was no different! Now let me have my hockey stick, I'm going to need it!

[@VictoriaAlfredSmythe]

i have seen this movie before: melania is in for a shock when she tries to pawn her “jewels”.

[@Opus313]

I guess the accountants are tired of all the torn up papers and fishing pieces from the toilet!

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Separating it from all the leftover McDonald’s….ungh

[@civil_villain]

@@Tonyhouse1168 Bad imagery! No!

[@istdochallesegal3427]

@Tony Lee Correction: Separating it from all the DIGESTED McDonald's...

[@Nevertoleave]

@@istdochallesegal3427 you think any of it gets digested. Figured you have to chew for that not just Hoover it up

[@JLF201]

I'm ready to transition from the "could be bad for Trump" stories to the actual consequences of his actions.

[@tomk4t]

Idk what's taking so long. Unless they aren't finding anything?

[@squishydevil]

Getting old isn’t it?

[@KertaDrake]

@@tomk4t Could also be a case of "Holy ****! We've never seen one person commit so many crimes! Someone call Guinness, we've got a record for 'em!"

[@tomk4t]

@@KertaDrake Surely they would've arrested and convicted them by now right?

[@paulakeller3413]

Wow 😲 Colbert was on fire 🔥 in this show. Thanks to his writers. The H&R Cell Block, The Tiger Teams, The Car-A-Lago joke. The Tic Tok War, The HUSH 🤫 HUSH Royal Scandals, Canadians Truck 🚛🚒 Blocks & Others.

[@sshza2143]

and homer, d'oh.🤣🥂😁✌😎

[@michaelccozens]

Man, you never give the Internet a write-in option. Congrats to Movie McMovieface on the win.

[@vash121086]

The more damage that Trump receives the better it is for our country.

[@sliceofdeeptish7498]

It's so nice to see all the garbage that Trump tried to hide in the closet fall out and on his face.

[@gamepapa1211]

I'm kinda thankful that he didn't croak from Covid back then. Now I get to bask in delicious schadenfreude as he frantically tries to flush evidences down toilets and clogging up his eyesore country club's waterworks.

[@herestobeingalibra9515]

And it's piling up! Badly. Thank all that is holy that incompetent mouth piece is no longer the president of this nation. The Ukraine would be in full merged war right now and possibly very very occupied.

[@greeneyedlady5580]

@St Matthew He also abandoned our allies the Kurds and left them to be slaughtered.

[@ekibirigeable]

@St Matthew Dude, read some history! When did Obama or Biden start a war in Somalia 🙄? How many U.S. troops died there🤔?

[@batgurrl]

Stephen’s monologue’s just get better and better. The ASMR news reel was genius. Yet another great grey suit plus a fantastic tie.

[@marshmallowdiptaco]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="487">8:07</a> I want to hear the rejected jokes on that bit

[@mcdjinn6975]

Something about starving Irish, maybe.

[@carolmiller5713]

I said for years - TFG is no billionaire, likely barely a millionaire. And soon, maybe part of the 99%.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Anyone with hair like that cannot be rich.

[@lapsode]

Waited many years for Canada to make a segment in this.... not the segment I'm proud of at all. Let's all get our hockey sticks out!

[@NinjaBeast06]

Hey Stephan, you may make fun of us Canadian's, but these are just our right wing nuts....most of us are against the convoy. But at least we don't have a Trump, a Bobert, or a DeSantis lol

[@lorrainekopp6504]

Right?

[@samanthageorge6447]

Lol!! I wish we had less idiots here in america

[@Bill_Garthright]

_But at least we don't have a Trump, a Bobert, or a DeSantis_ Would you _like_ some? We have plenty of extra idiots to send your way - our gift to you. :)

[@flapkatt6094]

Yes, and some of US are envious of your good fortune. I'd trade you a Treudau for half of a don, junior? Just sayin'.

[@NinjaBeast06]

@@flapkatt6094 LOL I don't blame you at all. We watch the Crazy republicans like a reality tv show. But I wont be too hard on ya because it looks like we have our own right wing nut jobs here too... I honestly miss Obama, it was good to have such a good leader next door to our country. Hope you guys take the Trumps down.

[@oldgods6039]

You don't have to be old not to know what's going on in TikTok.

[@sethborne]

You just need a relatively average adult IQ. (Not adjusting for age).

[@zgeist2861]

Right there with ya

[@patrickgrannus7886]

Watchmaking. Just look at the name.😄

[@seanryan3020]

But it helps.

[@geoffreylogsdon162]

It would be amazing, after all of the nefarious shit Rump has done, that he might go down for tax fraud. Like, oh, l don't know, Al Capone? At least Capone had some class.

[@davidanderson8381]

I think that table tells you everything you need to know about Putin..

[@Echo81Rumple83]

In more than one way. It's up to interpretation at this point.

[@JoesCornerstadios]

Lease he has a table, i am just a poor american

[@WublicIndecency]

Putin: I didn't try to start the war... It just happened.

[@OneSkyWarrior]

Being the germaphobe I'm surprised he doesn't have his guests encased in plexiglass.

[@Junksaint]

He's not as smart as some give him credit lol

[@Pixeleyes]

Never felt so old as the moment I realized Colbert knows more about TikTok than I do.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

I'm sure one of his writers is knowledgeable about it and is paid to explain it to him like he's using email for the first time.

[@tedcoop4392]

If it helps, I think it's highly probable that you know more about TikTok than I do, and I'm a few years younger than Colbert.

[@poettramp2688]

Missed this man. Was a rough week without him.

[@thedirty530]

Always is!

[@shannon3944]

Omg...⚘⚘AGREE💯

[@aubrey1633]

I go through Colbert withdrawal that neither Jimmy's can fix lol

[@edman629]

No kidding

[@arpitpawar370]

U mean this dud?

[@alex35agm]

If it was aTik Tok war it would only last about thirty seconds,which is the attention span of people using Tik Tok.

[@civil_villain]

I don't have hope that the Trumps will ever see real justice, but I'll settle for unending desperation and lifelong legal troubles for them, in return for what they've done to our country.

[@raptango_na6199]

You mean low unemployment, taxes and inflation?

[@deliciousgroove]

We can hope.

[@elizabethstewart12]

I was pondering how many lives Trump has ruined or terminated during his lifetime as a pampered, insulated, moronic criminal sociopath.

[@tonib.3016]

@@raptango_na6199 your mango stained overlord can thank Obama for inheriting all of that. Besides the low taxes for the 1%...the rest of us got screwed after a couple years.

[@raptango_na6199]

@@tonib.3016 actually no. All you liberals say this with no evidence whatsoever to back it up. So how did Obama deliver the 2019 economy three years after leaving office? You dont know. Obama had nothing to do with it.

[@robertbruce2840]

🔥 🌋🔥 🌋 🔥🌋 🔥 Stephens writers are on fire tonight! 🔥 🌋🔥 🌋 🔥🌋 🔥

[@JonieBGoode]

I’m surprised he ddnt cover the fact that Gen Z is also leaving hilarious comments on Putin’s IG to not invade Ukraine

[@vanessawhitneypro]

Gen Z Kids make this Gen X Kid proud and hopeful...

[@jalengoode3266]

Putin: amasses troops Tiktok: Daddy chill!

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Give 'em hell, kiddos; this old millennial got your back 👍

[@lawrencewatrous8228]

@@jalengoode3266 3l20m

[@Chesterfierce]

Putin has an IG??? Of course, why wouldn’t he? Lol

[@TimmyB1867]

Yes Stephen, they are all within canoe distance of one another. It may take you two months, but you can canoe the whole way, if you don't mind the portage across the Rockies. Also Maple Flavoured Nutjobs is now my new favourite term for them.

[@ruby11]

The Canadian trucker thing. Sorry, this is really embarrassing, from their backwards pride in thinking an illegal form of protest should be a 2-way conversation with the PM and the mess they’re making of people’s livelihoods - to Trudeau’s bad handling of it from the beginning 3 weeks ago. Not to mention his atrocious placement of words. But at least I’ve developed an appreciation for the 90% of truckers who got vaccinated and who’ve been doing their job.

[@johngrayatkinson1214]

Backwards pride ? You obviously don't even know what you're talking about you just go by What mainstream media and talk shows tell you

[@owenbloomfield1177]

@@johngrayatkinson1214 the old "mainstream media" argument. Get a new one.

[@ruby11]

@@johngrayatkinson1214 There you go, you’re showing that backwards pride when you don’t even know what and how much of every angle I’ve listened to.

[@sarahwbs]

This shows just how little Stephen knows about Canadians. Canadians know never to approach a goose armed only with a hockey stick. Basically just... never approach a goose. Those things are fucking crazy!

[@atiredfloridian777]

Awwwwwww, they broke up with You Know Coup on Valentine's Day. Dropped him for a hotter client at that. That's gotta sting.

[@id10t98]

Breaking News! This just in-Ariana Grande announces Mazars as her new accounting firm.🤣

[@qpunk1]

the stupid thing is the russian troops are stationed on average 12 miles from boarder and they left the base and where even closer because of training. but they finished and returned to the base that's 12 miles away. so this is so pointless to call it a withdrawal, it might as well be a lie.

[@wilderjai]

I get triggered by boarder. Maybe it was my waterboarding or that i went to boarding school but after 4 years of BORDER walls and two weeks at the Canadian BORDER can we all agree to spell it correctly. /🤪

[@qpunk1]

@@wilderjai imagne geting upsit abut a singlle leter.

[@armusc757]

Lets treat truckers like pro sports players: "Shut up and drive"

[@lloydcollins6337]

The whole long table thing Putin does is a power tactic - it's at the end of a very long office too so you have to walk across a massive room to get to the desk, which makes you feel small. Stalin did it, Hitler did it, the Kims do it in Korea etc.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

No, it means he has no need for interpreters...think about it.

[@wildflower1397]

Many leaders have used taller desks or chairs, to make the other person feel small. Like a child sitting before the schoolmaster, lol.

[@privatehand]

God DAMN his writers are good!

[@twiztedsynz]

I'll admit, I cringed at the start of the Canadian part, and yet, it's still so funny and true. Also, we're sorry this continues to be a thing.

[@hmq9052]

Canada has such a good reputation abroad. In Europe, for example. But the truck thing. Yep. Embarrassing

[@herestobeingalibra9515]

It'll get better.

[@swistedfilms]

If only they put Lt. Guy Lapointe on the job! Those truckers would've been run out a long time ago! And if you don't know who Lt. Guy Lapointe is then you should Google the Canadian strategic maple syrup reserve heist! He's a true Canadian hero! If I ever meet him I want to treat him to some T Ho's!

[@twiztedsynz]

@@Henry-W-Schlemmer I know several Gords, including my brother :P

[@Kreepie11]

@@Henry-W-Schlemmer you talking about Gord Downie? The guy that Kingston has now renamed everything to and that fought for Indigenous reconciliation? Yeah, I'd say he's pretty well known.

[@DavidBagga]

“Probably smart not to trust Vlad on this one. Dudes like him never pull out when they say they will.” Lmao thx for all the laughter Stephen 😂😂

[@shem8560]

This Expert using tiktok to track troops is a mad genius

[@davidgoodman7595]

His name is bruteforce.

[@Bill_Garthright]

_This Expert using tiktok to track troops is a mad genius_ Unless it's just Putin using TikTok - like he uses all social media - for his own purposes (in this case, ramping up fear in Ukraine).

[@gm9075]

Can I just say that as a Brit that royal dungeon joke was brilliant...oh and just to add, the media in the UK are stating that the Prince Andrew settlement was for £12 million....

[@ClayLoomis1958]

I think that's roughly 15 million dollars. Yeah, I'd shut up about some surprise butt sex too, for that kind of money.

[@gopalahebert7511]

Formerly known as Prince ... Andrew was de-royal'ed .. un-prince'd .. disavowed , was it not?

[@yvonnetomenga5726]

As someone who has seen my share of living in a van videos, I wouldn't mind watching Car-a-Lardo trying to cope.

[@chha6439]

Mr. Colbert the king of comedy. Love him so much.. what a great man…

[@jiukumite]

I'm waitin' to vote for the man!

[@catherinefisher8534]

Yes, he really seems to be a good, decent, man with a fantastic sense of humor 👏

[@Coastal_Ace]

As a Canadian, this "freedom" rally is a freaking ongoing embarrassment.

[@PistonHonda87]

Just pretend they are honking for blm

[@DesertEagleV]

More embarrassingly we have an idiot PM who are unfit to lead in such hard times.

[@davidclark573]

The disease of the extremist right wing republicans in the USA spread to Canada.

[@Coastal_Ace]

@@DesertEagleV He's far from perfect but I'd take Trudeau over trump any day.

[@Ottophil]

@@GarrishChristopherRobin777 or you could just wash your face and not get them

[@smartiee74]

Funny monologue!!! The writing was on point!!!👍🏾👍🏾

[@M0oranshi]

Has nobody learned? Letting the internet vote on anything is the worst idea possible. The person who came up with it regarding the Oscars is either a naïve idiot, or a beautiful madman, and I respect both.

[@Neojhun]

Boaty McBoatface ended up being an awesome template for other uses.

[@KingKook]

If you believe the "Academy" is going to actually count internet votes, well, I've got a swamp for sale that's just your style. It's a publicity stunt, planned out and pre-decided, probably by the same geniuses who came up with the "No Hosts" format a couple years ago. Geniuses...

[@TheJeweledBird]

@@Neojhun Lol, McBoatface was the first thing that came to mind when Stephen said that.

[@swistedfilms]

@@Neojhun You beat me to it. And I agree. Letting the internet vote on things isn't always a disaster.

[@patriciaevins6267]

Indeed....Who remembers "Boaty McBoat Face" ? lol

[@Deseis]

Sir, I'm a Canadian, and you made me laugh so loudly and suddenly I scared my cat. You owe my cat an "I'm soorrey".

[@JenMistress]

Yeah, as many of us women know, don't 100% trust a guy when he says he'll pull out, until it actually happens. 😉😂🤣

[@blindsightedkill]

Just Get on the pill 🙄

[@Echo81Rumple83]

@@blindsightedkill An IUD is safer in my case; the pill almost killed me due to the Laiden Factor V mutation they tested me for when I was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism. So, no. The guy has to do his part as well.

[@kingjamos2422]

@@Echo81Rumple83 Holy shit, I'm sorry to hear about that. Terrifying. But yeah, it is a team effort. If one is not a team player, they better be doing it alone.

[@MrJimheeren]

I use this very modern thing called a condom. Works pretty need

[@blu5018]

@@blindsightedkill Birth control isn't covered by all insurances, can be expensive, and it can take years to find one that works for you. Not only that but they fuck up your hormones. If you're unlucky then you can get one that just doesn't work for you and it fucks you up. That's at least 2 weeks of your life getting it in and out of your system along with side effects. I had a really bad reaction to one of mine while I was still in school and that's a couple of month of my life just gone. Imagine if guys just wore condoms.

[@BdR76]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="430">7:10</a> "Whatever is hot in Celsius" see it's funny because America, Guam and Micronesia still use Fahrenheit 😆🤣 lol

[@GrandmaCathy]

Yep. They tried to teach us in the 80's and gave up. I went to an auto parts store and the young person behind the counter informed me metic and standard sockets are the same. 🤦‍♀️

[@SusiFroggyPorter]

"Move to Caro-a-lago". Oh what a Pleasant thought.

[@Speedster___]

Nah Rus-a-lago DT and VP can ride horses shirtless

[@mariaangelova8275]

I can't wait!!

[@wilfbentley6738]

I am Canadian. I am very upset by the Occupation of my capital city. There are certainly lots of Canadian truckers there, but there are American activists also, and a lot of funding has come from the US, and other foreign sources. In telephone calls to my federal and provincial members of Parliament, I have urged a heavy handed approach to these "protesters". Most of us Canadians do not subscribe to this kind of mayhem. This is NOT normal legitimate political discourse, and I look forward to its end, the sooner the better. If the end is bloody, so be it.

[@nycatlady2314]

Most of us in the US are embarrassed and angry that our extremists are causing disruption in Canada. I’m glad your government has been able to stop them better than ours.

[@OneSkyWarrior]

I'm not the only one who thought you needed to use the laws to nip it as soon as it began.

[@starlight_44]

Bah bah..u sheep 👎😒

[@swistedfilms]

I truly don't understand why they didn't simply tow some of the trucks at the beginning. It's not legal to block a road regardless of your reason, accidents notwithstanding. Had they simply towed one or two of those rigs at the start then the others would've thought twice about sticking around. The tow bill for towing a big rig ain't cheap. It's about $1500 or more, and that's just the tow, never mind the storage fee. And those truckers would be aware of that. I was told by one person that the tow truck drivers sympathized with the protesters and refused to tow them but I wasn't able to verify that. If those were truckers then I don't know how they could afford to take time off to go to and stay at the protest. Most truckers can't afford that kind of time off. That makes me think that most of those people were the owners of the various companies. Which means it was probably rich people in the guise of the working class acting like buffoons.

[@nycatlady2314]

@@swistedfilms they are a democracy and letting them protest. However, they were there too long and businesses and residents were getting annoyed so the government had to end it. It was being crowd sourced mainly with crypto by idiots in the US! Rand Paul was over the moon with praise and saying he wishes they’d do the same here (but only in blue states). And Tucker “I’m on Russia’s side” Carlson is pretending to be on the truckers’ side because he’s just blue collar like they are!🙄

[@coltafanan]

Trump was the greatest president ever! See, Trump, I can say lies too. It’s that easy.

[@jc.1191]

😂 Fair enough

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Do you need counseling after that? If I were to say that, I'd probably die a little inside...

[@MrMJmusicLover]

😅😅

[@playnicechannel]

@@Echo81Rumple83 or at the very least need a Silkwood shower

[@kingjamos2422]

@@Echo81Rumple83 Wait... you mean there are those of us that didn't die inside during his presidency?! Where are these unicorns?

[@Daymickey]

I love the way he said I’m 57.

[@toad4ever103]

Hope he's paying his writer's good money cause this was a great one tonight.

[@DE-xt7jv]

I lived 20 years in Germany during the Cold War. I hope this goes the right way.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Yeah, if the Americans could act with honour. Remember what they did after the Wall came down? Rhet assured Gorbachev NATO would not expand...and then told him "you should have gotten that in writing" when NATO expanded!

[@leifharmsen]

Sadly Putin has decided to try on being an old skool expansionist aurocrat. It will therefore require tremendous budgets to keep him hemmed in. Hopfully Russians will find a way to choose a leader who cares about improving Russia rather than expanding into other countries.

[@knucklehead5487]

I'm Canadian and I approve those jokes... eh.

[@marvinmartion1178]

trumpy may not get put in prison (where he belongs) but the thought of him broke, living under a bridge, pushing a shoping cart, while mumbling his nonsense sounds good to me!

[@christianking9356]

As someone who once lived in a car, it’s too good for him. Jail sounds like a better alternative.

[@sinchula1]

Creative writers above all excellent delivery..@Stephen Colbert

[@ghostgunner11]

Damn! I keep forgetting that Merkel isn't chancellor anymore.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

IKR! I so hope she's off on a tropical island somewhere enjoying a mojito or three...

[@akinpaws]

@@lenawagenfuehr53 Gotta watch out for the birds though.

[@inkyhobbit7787]

"That joke was rewritten several times and those were the two least disturbing things we could think of." :')

[@joenisnapje712]

Hopefully the tiger teams anticipates both the crouching bear’ AND a hidden dragon 😉

[@Mousezilla]

Ok but now I want to hear the other things they came up with for the "dungeon of forbidden secrets" joke.

[@misterderp4566]

If the Twitter Oscar movie isn't Man Gets Hit By Football, we riot.

[@goblinwisdom]

Mitchell's vs the machines. ( does a raptor claw)

[@mcdjinn6975]

Agreed

[@WestOfEarth]

Or Jackass Forever?

[@misterderp4566]

@@WestOfEarth Corden suggested that

[@seanryan3020]

Ngl, I'm rooting for Who's Nailin Palin 5.

[@gees6716]

Can you imagine "Van-Don" living on the road and still being protected by Secret Service Agents. How crazy will it get. GEE S. from Germany

[@MrSomebunny]

There’s such a void on the weeks Steven’s off.

[@MrSomebunny]

@The lord hates A coward I just watch his show, why would me learning the proper spelling of his name matter? You think I write him love letters or have his number saved in my phone? I’ve literally never had a need to type out his name before now. And while we’re on the topic of grammar, why is the “a” in your name capitalized? Why isn’t the “L” in “Lord” capitalized? Why are you trolling for something you seem to struggle with more than I do?

[@birbluv9595]

The “stack of old New Yorkers War” cuts pretty close to home.

[@Jadeskorpion]

Thank you Evie for letting us stare at your husband for a while!

[@ekingston1694]

Who is Evie? Do you mean Sophie?

[@Amdisvt]

@@ekingston1694 Stephen's wife, her name is Evie

[@Scuuurbs]

I saw your comment and got excited for an Evie appearance

[@ankeu.a.wallace]

Laughter soothes the Soul & Lifts the 💖!!! Thank You!!!

[@cherylyates9845]

Some laughter even makes it easier to accept that one is collateral damage in a stupid fight that they weren't even part of because they had better things to actually do. But no more.

[@gamepapa1211]

Okay, you can't convince me that Putin has NOT had ordered someone assassinated in that room with the long table.

[@grmpEqweer]

Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. Anyone who knows certainly isn't going to talk.

[@arealperson641]

“You can’t convince me” is an excellent summary of today’s society

[@ianb9028]

Such a long table... so many empty seats.

[@Ottophil]

@@arealperson641 thats because the people who can be convinced believe misinformation

[@Nevertoleave]

I thought he did most of his work by windows, where he could push- sorry, where doctors in Russia seem to keep falling from when there’s talk about Covid

[@napalmholocaust9093]

Give your writers a raise. Then another.

[@saturnv2419]

Seeing tanks on daily Russian commute is the most Russian thing Russia had to offer.

[@vickifournier5065]

Ahh ❣️ This is so refreshing to see you back where you belong Steven Colbert, on the Stage in front of an Audience. That Energy has revived that Twinkle in your eyes as the Sarcasm makes me want to scream "Yes, Yes, YES!!" I'd love to be there to feel the Vibes❣️

[@timothyward6644]

Dude's like him don't pull out when they say they will pull out. Amazing writing.

[@cman9373]

Remember the letter openers have the right to appoint alternate winners....LOL

[@ATM648]

The Woah Canada segment is just an excuse to make Canadian stereotype jokes, and I'm fine with that

[@kingjamos2422]

I have Canadian friends that love them. They find them so out there that it is funny. Also, Canadians need to say "Eh" more. I've not once heard one actually say it outside of a joke. 😢

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

Remove sanctions and you just encourage him to threaten Estonia, Latvia, etc. etc. We cannot let him just bully his way out of sanctions that were levied against his regime for damn good reasons

[@kimberlycornelius7911]

I wish I had that table during divorce proceedings !

[@bulliwoody3674]

@Van Bus Wtf is wrong with you

[@jb888888888]

The "Tik Tok War" is *obviously* referring to the 8th Oz book _Tik-Tok of Oz_ where Tik-Tok the mechanical man is pressed into the service of Queen Ann Soforth to be her army. Duh! -- Sincerely, another old person.

[@DeepThought420]

Seriously why is the table so big? Putin must be compensating for something! Most guys that don't pull out also suffer from size issues apparently! 😆😆😆

[@costamihalidis3122]

actually, they asked Macron to do a Russian PCR test, which Macron refused, and the alternative to not doing the test would be being distanced by 4 meters. We know how that turned out.

[@frankbenham1745]

I don't understand the thing with the truckers. That's an entire industry that may soon replace its drivers with self-driving technology. If anything, the current truck drivers are just giving more reasons to get those automated trucks up and running.

[@mariag.8242]

It’s less than 1% of Canadian truckers. 90% are vaccinated and humiliated to think that people will assume that they’re all as confused and entitled as this bunch.

[@twstf8905]

Hahaha This year's Twitter vote Oscar Homer Simpson slowly backing into a bush. 🤣 ( _right_ when I was trying to take a drink of my coffee! ☕)

[@imakethesites3048]

Wow, Twitter: the voice of wisdom, equality, and reason. There's no way the vote could be manipulated by fake accounts, or will be drowned out by the disproportionate number of woke movie fans who don't buy tickets.

[@SayAhh]

Um, why would you care if you hate liberal Hollywood elites who finance all your favorite woke (and unwoke) movies? Does it matter who wins (or loses) best cinematographer? It's literally entertainment. It'a not like you get to vote for (or reject) who gets to be Secretary of Education anyway.

[@kendrarathbone5389]

I really enjoyed watching Stephen have so much fun with the audience

[@dividedconquered3784]

PUTIN is just social distancing with that table! Message to the rest of the World!😂

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

That and he doesn't need interpreters...

[@LMM7880]

Stephen, it's nice to see Canada mentioned once in a while now, but stereotypical Canadian jokes still prevail.

[@Moekoffee2001]

Jay Trudeau got cannabis rights for Canadians, and this one is grateful🤘

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Just so he could cash in on the tax revenue.

[@Moekoffee2001]

Yes, well your not going to get taxes from protected businesses like Irving Ship Building

[@Hailstormand]

"...hot widower dad in a Hallmark Christmas movie..." ME: [fans self, gasping aloud]

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

He needs a haircut.

[@amberandrews6842]

We love you Master Colbert!!

[@Dietzbeatz]

Eww

[@Nevertoleave]

@@Dietzbeatz caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror again? I’d say don’t worry, I’m sure someone will love you for your personality, but, yikes

[@Dietzbeatz]

@@Nevertoleave lol you’re into s&m with Colbert too?!?! Eww