U.N.’s Gloomy Mood | Trump: We Want Beautiful Babies | GOP Bailing On Mark Robinson

[@wonderlizz]

He couldn’t pass the background check for a job at McDonald’s

[@evenstoats2639]

He couldn't even read the Employee Handbook, it's more than 1 page.

[@hunterroberts9951]

The military wouldn't take him either and he wants to be the commander in chief.

[@jonmoreno9703]

But sadly he can run for president.....go figure.

[@Bob-en1ge]

If he did get hired he'd never last one shift. He's never worked that hard in his entire life.

[@intomnia3313]

Paper trainee hat atop his head Donald plunged his macfingers into the deep fryer.

[@gamepapa1211]

"I am your protector, I wanna be your protector," said the sexual predator who is still facing lawsuits from 28 women he assaulted in the past AND lost $83 million total in liability against one of his victims.

[@wandapease-gi8yo]

Shudder!

[@MagalyClavier]

Enough said indeed

[@nulnoh219]

So very not cult leader like.

[@gingerbread_GB]

This line should be in Harris' next round of campaign ads all around the country. Even as a man it gives me the creeps. I don't want Trump anywhere near any female members of my family.

[@robinlandis5226]

So slimy.

[@onedominant]

Geeks & Nerds For Harris raised over $500K for the Harris campaign tonight. Way to go, Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman).

[@babybijou969]

🫶

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

How fitting. Seeing as all the world is waiting for Kamala Harris to be the next president.

[@amberandrews6842]

🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@vickikirby6711]

I watched some of it, it was great.💙🇺🇸

[@ThatTexasGirl409]

Amazing.

[@charleneandrle-olson3099]

We were "abandoned, lonely and scared", Mr. T., when you were president during Covid. Never again. Why in the world would we ever give you a second chance when you're crazier now than you were then?!!! We need good, sane, intelligent and compassionate leadership.

[@DenyseLRoss]

sane is the key word 🤣👍

[@teryl4708]

@@charleneandrle-olson3099 Most of us didn’t give him a first chance. Putin and Trump cheated.

[@Jumajaju811]

Problem is that fox "news" is telling lies about Kamala saying horrible things and most magas only watch Fox Propaganda. My father, who is a life long republican, but not really a maga, only watches Fox. I'm trying to open his mind and I've fact checked him a bunch but he's set in his ways. Good thing I had 4 kids and 3 are voting BLUE! 💙🌊🇺🇸💙🌊🇺🇸

[@camelsheit_on_the_walls446]

A predator of women telling them he'll be their protector... That isn't merely weird. That is *creepy AF!!!*

[@anandasala4712]

Spoken like a true predator.

[@docbaker3333]

If he said he would protect them from Rape specifically that Red flag would be bright enough to see from orbit.

[@gregoryM8105]

@@anandasala4712 Shady Pants Is So Coooool!!!!

[@SuzanneG1961]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@karenneill9109]

Full on….

[@MrPhotodoc]

What I like about Gov. Walz is he seems to be having the time of his life. It's just that positive vibe that America needs heading into the most important election ever.

[@Annapurna818]

Tampon Tim is in for a shock

[@CliftonW-w5z]

Gee, I thought Mike Pence was a lively kind of guy, he ran like hell when Trumps Jan. 6 mob were out to hang him. Watching was shocking but I had to laugh seeing Pence head for the hills.

[@larkmacgregor3143]

@@Annapurna818 Lame.

[@gilbertspader7974]

@@Annapurna818you suck, get a life.

[@MagalyClavier]

He really is something,there's always a first Pleasure

[@nenew1666]

Ew gross…. I do not need protection from an old creepy weirdo

[@alexdasliebe5391]

Folks need protection FROM that creepy old weirdo 😁

[@DoctorBiobrain]

Does that mean there’s a shot for a young creepy weirdo?

[@modernwonder]

@@DoctorBiobrain no

[@stevetournay6103]

Well...depending how you read that, yes you most certainly do...

[@raylipschitz5297]

Yes you do. Trump has ownership of your body

[@jacquesphilippon5999]

Someone should take a survey of women asking them how safe they would feel if they were left alone in a room with Trump.

[@kerrynicholls6683]

1st survey participant. Not at all. I have the feeling that I would be creeped out. Possibly and likely putting me back into fight or flight mode. Good luck with your survey. Love ❤️ from Australia 🇦🇺

[@jmack2989]

I'm definitely choosing the bear. 😏

[@jimwilliams3816]

Fellow fight or flighter here. But sometimes the sympathetic nervous system makes the right call. This would be one such situation.

[@Barbelle1201]

Or...would you let him date your daughter?

[@jlt131]

i'll add to your survey. if i was left alone in a room with trump it might be HIM that feels unsafe.

[@lauriemurray9467]

Something about a rapist offering to protect women just isn’t sane.

[@judyweeks1480]

As he curls his moustache...

[@danielshields34]

Got proof?

[@malcriadamedina5358]

Well in his mind he's not, it was consensual

[@annelibashore4807]

@@danielshields34gotta brain?!

[@devinshirekineally3721]

exactly... something about the fox guarding the henhouse comes to mind

[@christophercrowder872]

The cognative dissonance of a rapist who has worsened women's health care is mind blowing. And creepy.

[@andrewstevenson118]

"I'll be your protector, Christopher." Nothing creepy about that, right? Darling? Honey?

[@stanbyme7874]

@@andrewstevenson118what’s wrong with you?

[@redzinnia]

very creepy

[@andrewstevenson118]

@@stanbyme7874 Es una broma 🙂

[@dthomas9230]

@@andrewstevenson118 It's an old saying from Homer relating Trojans fighting Greeks.

[@thomaswschaller]

"You will no longer be abandoned, lonely, or scared".........Yikes

[@b.freanch227]

From a Rapist !!!!

[@krishadyn5211]

Like a stalker reassuring someone they'd never be alone 😅

[@coolmoon4382]

Exactly.... ​@@krishadyn5211

[@coolmoon4382]

So True .. ​@@krishadyn5211

[@suehowie152]

Creeeeeeeepy.

[@johnfrian]

Watching this from abroad and it's comforting that someone delivers such sick Trump burns. And I'm all for it! You rock!

[@markfrost2707]

That beautiful babies stuff is right out of Germany 1930s

[@karenneill9109]

Oh yeah…. 😬

[@babybijou969]

As is the majority of his pejoratives

[@amberandrews6842]

Meanwhile they don't care if women die, it seems a bit incongruous....

[@MichaelSorensen-bl3ec]

It's right out of Epstein's mouth, actually.......

[@Morgaine]

I know - creepy as hell.

[@toestub-uk4en]

Every move you make. Every step you take. Every breath you take, I'll be watching you. . . the stalker song.

[@nancykraus5127]

And then there is Blondie singing one way or another I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha.

[@nancyjay790]

The creepy thing was the number of weddings I heard it played at.

[@kimberlysichler7415]

Hearing it play at Walmart had me always looking over my shoulder 😅

[@paulgibbon5991]

Voted one of the worst songs ever played at a wedding, just behind "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For."

[@rosaleekonjolka1994]

Hes a real Nowhere man sitting in his Nowhere land Making all his Nowhere plans with Nobody Beatles 1963😊

[@pandora881]

There was a German guy back in the 30’s and 40’s who wanted his followers to have a bunch of “perfect, beautful babies,” too. Strange.

[@MrDerpInSanDiego]

He was Austrian, bro...

[@Wud-f2r]

They even gave them medals for having them, bronze for 5, silver for 6-7, and a gold cross medal if you had eight babies. Just so all the women know their “place” in MAGA world.

[@judyweeks1480]

There's one in russia today.

[@toonlyrics]

​@@MrDerpInSanDiego That's splitting hairs. Unfortunately, a court granted Hitler German citizenship before the 1932 election. Which he lost, by the way.

[@cindybraun371]

Yes, Hitler is his best ghost friend!

[@allenlovell1604]

Stephen Colbert is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise gloomy news cycle; no matter what's going on in the news, I can always count on him for a welcome laugh 😀! Occasionally, he gets a loud chuckle ; a chorus of giggles; or a guffaw out of me! " Meanwhile and Cybergasm Segments " have me scratching my head. Is he getting inside information or reading the Onion media at times ?

[@pennyc2412]

That speech to women is just plain creepy 🥹

[@andrewstevenson118]

Penny, darling, honey, babe, I'll be your protector. EDIT: You know this is a joke, right?

[@mho...]

and his maga cult still loves him fanatically!

[@jannetteberends8730]

The words are what an abusive controlling psychopath would say. Protector is another word for pimp in Dutch. (beschermer)

[@mho...]

its more creepy, that comments that dont love trump get deleted -.-

[@anxiousappliance]

Just because he is an adjudicated rapist who skeeves on his daughter? how woke.....

[@poeticpoems1234]

Trump makes me feel like I'm living in a simulation of ground hog day except it's Trump forever on our TV screens yappin and lying and lying and yappin🙄 Please 2024💙🇺🇸!

[@oliveoil2022]

i know, it's he gone yet?

[@SpecialBlanket]

I knowwww, it's neverending

[@UAP_of_Phx]

Wrap yourself in your “Special Blanket”, sit in a corner & hold yourself, that’ll make things better. I love you so much and I

[@poeticpoems1234]

Wow, are You Trump's Dr.? I heard that's the prescription his Dr. had written (for him) to help him at night from manic Social Media posting until sunrise 🌅

[@zesty9815]

And then some promo-bot @JoeySmith-dn6bk steals your comment, tacks on some junk promo for "XAI780K", and gives itself a thousand likes.

[@Tim_Shu]

How creepy, he's far from a protector 🤦🏾‍♂️ He's the literal perpetrator

[@b.freanch227]

And a Pedohile.

[@alexvaraderey]

His speech sounded like a confession from one of those guys on To Catch A Predator .

[@skippymaster57]

Maybe that's what he was trying to say? Naaah, he said what he said and it's just creepy as hell. He was probably thinking of Ivanka at the time eeeewwww.😂😂😒😒

[@gateauxq4604]

One could say he’s a SUPER predator.

[@karenbishop1943]

The concern are the women who are clapping after that uncomfortable tirade.👀👀👀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤮🤮

[@alexandralibin5131]

Oh goodie,...the 'Pusey Grabber' is going to protect women!

[@carolr7333]

I NOW KNOW WHAT T-Dump's latest marketing idea is

[@cnzhk5925]

It's both weird and disconcerting that Trump managed to embarrass U.S on the sideline. Americans deserve to have someone that is not an egotistical narcissist as their president.

[@joshk.6246]

Idk if we deserve it but we do need it.

[@gemixx8365]

Deserve is a strong word. We definitely could use it.

[@skippymaster57]

@@joshk.6246 No, even you don't

[@skippymaster57]

@@gemixx8365 No, even you don't

[@stevetournay6103]

Do they? Why do they worship such, then?

[@leilap2495]

Even more handmaid’s tale 😬

[@kaberle7]

EXACTLY!!!!

[@jenniferschramn4095]

Omg! At 78 yrs old, he is the most INSECURE person I’ve ever known. Go away!

[@MK_ULTRA420]

Not as insecure as the view! 😂

[@MrBubyV]

correct ☑️

[@moniquewest3277]

Go make a friend, lew zer​@@MK_ULTRA420

[@WalkoffGrandslam]

No Trump is literally the thinnest skin. He cant take any criticism of any kind whatsoever. Trump is the biggest snowflake on earth.​@MK_ULTRA420

[@garfield2439]

Ikr. Pathetic is the word that always comes to mind when I listen to him

[@garylemmer6876]

As we say in Madagascar: "Tonga Soa" = "Welcome" Always feel welcome with Stephen Colbert and listen whenever possible. Best from Morondava, Madagascar. Here's hoping for November, eh?

[@MorriganAtwood]

"I will be your protector. You will never be scared or lonely again."

[@Scarletspeedster68]

Does that include Lorena Bobbitt? Gross!

[@historywithhamish2716]

His statements are beyond a joke. I hope you guys get a good outcome all the best from Scotland

[@Slo-ryde]

Based on her memoirs, I recall his first wife was a victim of that.

[@historywithhamish2716]

@@Slo-ryde she has a lovely overflowing grave on some hole 😂

[@shirleyhollins943]

He’s sick! Women don’t need him to protect them.

[@georgiaeileanireland4308]

“That’s just upsetting.” Applies to so many things Trump says and does. He is beyond weird. He’s just creepy.

[@judyweeks1480]

He's freakin' deranged.

[@cindyberry6753]

I would venture to say that Trump has NEVER been grocery shopping.

[@liannebedard5521]

Would he know what to do with those carts everyone seems to have? Does he know that you need to bring a heavy chain to attach the cart to the rear bumper of your limo?

[@peacheswilliams4539]

EVER!😂

[@annphillips1086]

Typical that he's got to upstage JD by going into a bigger shop.

[@doubledouble4g379]

I'd venture to say he's never been hungry a day in his life, either.

[@ruetheaterrace8843]

Need a little joy? Tune in Colbert!

[@suemiller8426]

The NARCISSIST that Trump is, when he says that someone isn't very smart he is actually telling you about himself.

[@lajoyceweatherspoon8704]

💯 agree!!

[@kaberle7]

He projects constantly. That's what creepy narcissistic, misogynistic, felonious ego-centric psychopaths do.

[@charlesharris3373]

Of course he is. He is always talking about himself. 😂

[@richardbernier6761]

All Trumps Insults are projections of his own Flaws, Confession.

[@ggjohnson5754]

Every accusation is a confession

[@AthenDeValius]

"I will be your protector", he says. More wonderful quotes, the best quotes, on Fifty Shades of Orange.

[@andrewstevenson118]

Clever

[@SuperLeica1]

Only 34 or 45, mind you, he'll never reach 50.

[@loristraylit1827]

Dear Mr. Colbert, yes, we are watching from Europe and the rest of the World a bit concerned… but we trust your good judgement. Let’s just hope we won’t need to return that monumental favour you granted us nearly eight decades ago. Lots of love and appreciation for your work ❤!

[@artbargra]

The more these events develop, the more I fear that favor will need to be returned. it is frightening.

[@happyclam1266]

WTF? What do you even mean? He's a fucking comedian. What favor?

[@johnathanrhoades7751]

@@happyclam1266They’re referring to the US helping in WW2 and hoping the countries around the world won’t have to fight a fascist US.

[@marjoriegarland2798]

Thank you Europeans who care! Sane Americans are uniting to VOTE ALL BLUE to get rid of the orange monster and his enablers❗Hoping to celebrate in the USA and Europe when we have elected the wonderful and dedicated Kamala Harris and Tim Walz to lead with commitment, decency and Democracy 💙💙💙 🗽⚖️🇺🇸❗

[@andrewhazel2666]

Europe should ask for the statue of liberty back if he wins agin5

[@ts8324]

"I want to be your protector." "We need those beautiful babies." This is the creepy sh*t I expect to hear from a Bond villian!

[@megoodrow6299]

It’s mind blowing how many views this shows gets in minutes after it airs - love this show - makes me laugh and thanks to all of the writers

[@JohannaLeigh]

HUGE SHOUT OUT to ALL our comedy Commentators, who are getting us ALL (themselves included) through this anxious time. If Kamala and Tim win the day, we will celebrate by heaving such a huge sigh of relief, it'll cause a Tsunami across the Eastern seaboard. THANK YOU....🤗❤️💙🤗☺️💙 Stephen Colbert Jimmy Kimmel Seth Myers Jon Stewart et ensemble and all , whose names I may have forgotten at the moment, who keep us laughing while we wait....🫦

[@gigibluestockings5168]

​@@JohannaLeigh😌👍🏾

[@raymondkymsuttle]

As a felon, he can’t get a job at MacDonald’s

[@flyrobin2544]

McDonald's has been known to hire felons, so he can apply after Nov. 5th.

[@moonhunter9993]

underrated comment

[@lindahubbard-brinston6741]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@the80hdgaming]

​@henmaidstalewe don't want him up here anyways... We have enough with our own idiots in government....

[@cosmicraysshotsintothelight]

As a former coup attemptor, he cannot serve in ANY US public office ever again.

[@WildmanUSAF]

Walz is a fresh air of normalcy in this age of crazy.

[@nancylipschultz1141]

Protector ewww that is so scary 😱

[@UniqueMonique999]

Waltz thought the sign was a reference to his saying mind your own damn business pertaining to women’s bodies at a rally. I still liked Colbert’s reaction to it 😂

[@ToeMcTaggins]

That's not necessarily so is somebody that spent 20 plus years in Wisconsin and many a trip to Minnesota and Nebraska Michigan and those States and most diners when you walk in they will have a special named after one of the cooks or one of the other employees or a local sports team or things of that nature.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Yes in both! That’s why he asked how long it had been up there perhaps.

[@anandasala4712]

Watching late night shows helps keep me sane. Thank you LSSC!

[@deborahcampbell7329]

Same…

[@JuanN64Projects]

Best way to keep my sanity (and my sense of humor) in check.

[@paddy.7784]

" The Late Show " has a great following down here in Aotearoa / New Zealand Surely. half of 345 million Americans can't believe this lying / loser/ racist fascist. We pray that November 2024 will prove that wrong.

[@feliciad8561]

Couldn't agree more.. & I'm in Australia 🇦🇺 😅

[@annieyue9184]

I love this show! Laughing is good for health!

[@vindiesel1469]

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities, has the power to make you commit atrocities. ~Voltaire

[@uwsgrrrl9981]

That scares me but it is the truth.

[@jetta2134]

Thank you! I also believe that anyone who hears an individual saying who he is , believe him!

[@itspersonal3351]

45 giving “It rubs the lotion on its skin” vibes

[@carolr7333]

@@jetta2134 The FAB Ms. Angelou said it best!

[@angelezebuiro9676]

The way Don is talking to women during his campaign speech, VERY CREEPY, like REALLY CREEPY.😬 Seriously, get Don to jail and be sentenced to life, please!

[@marlenemounce2918]

Gross! We’re only stressed out because of him! 😅Creepy to the third power.

[@wandapease-gi8yo]

The stress from Tromp and his closet of dirty troopers! Tubberville, Gym Johnson, Greenface, and way too many more terrorists to keep the terror going.

[@joannajamerson35]

Times 10

[@marthatrevino1776]

So on target. This creep is my daily source of stress and worry. God save us.

[@scottkidwell3601]

Creepy to the Fourth Reich...

[@kyliepechler]

His comment about grabbing women by the "p88sy", in the Access Hollywood tapes from 2016, indicated to most sane women just how creepy he was.

[@Brent-j5e]

His writers never miss a beat absolutely fabulous!!!!

[@Seigensi]

it's great that they send their intelligent people to comedy and the buffoons to govern huh, go america,

[@chookieist]

Offs why does he have this bloody thing about Kamala and Macdonalds. It’s consuming him lol. Thanks for the laughs Stephen. Your takedown of Pinnochi is hilarious. Thank fuck I don’t live in America, I don’t want him protecting me, it’s gross even at my elderly age 🤮🤮🤮

[@cameronsitton501]

It's because he can't believe that his beloved McDonalds went behind his back like that Idfk man the fact that he hasn't been disqualified from the court of public opinion is driving me insane

[@JaimeP1208]

The compulsive liar thinks he’s caught her out in a lie. The desperation is pathetic.

[@sevenirises]

Stephen Colbert....the perfect man for the days we're in.

[@MattieScarlett-rt9sm]

I love Walz! Every time I see him, he’s positive, funny, and supportive of people.

[@davidswift7776]

Wondering why Colbert thinks it’s funny making fun of him.. he was a perfect choice. Honest and real 💙

[@mikarose9405]

Love him too!

[@garfield2439]

Wish I had found a husband like him. He is just awesome imo

[@dp1563]

Coach Walz is the best.He reminds me of my granddaddy back in the 60s. Just a naturally good human being.

[@hartubmoses6645]

​@@davidswift7776Yeah, I'm just getting over Colbert making fun of President Biden, he really should be more keen of what he says especially under the threat of a Trump presidency.

[@DOLLYSHOTS2]

Awww how nice was that, that the restaurant did a play on Walz's "Mind Your Own Damn Business", I love it!

[@amberandrews6842]

Half an hour isn't a fair test. Try 60 hours a week for 3 months.... Let alone the people who work for years!

[@toestub-uk4en]

Tim Walz is our Norman Rockwell Vice-President.

[@judyweeks1480]

Yes! Love him!

[@bayrockwhk]

I've been thinking that! Thanks for putting it into words.

[@Leonaza7]

Nothing like being protected by a sexual abuser

[@fonernest4261]

As someone who lives in the UK, I do not understand how the race in US is closed. The choice is cleared.

[@cherifurr3935]

We don’t understand it either!!!

[@aliciaerickson9862]

I thought the same during Brexit. How did it win? How was it so tight? Alas, it was the same propaganda, bias, and prejudice we’re dealing with in the US.

[@gingerredshoes]

Everyone should have to work 6 months of retail, restaurant, or customer service before they're allowed to run for public office. They should be required to know how real people survive.

[@GordianKnot-pg5dz]

Great idea!

[@ekdaufin1485]

Only 6 months? Then , AND have to live on what they make as NON-manager (and the managers still ain’t rolling in gravy 😂).

[@margaretschaufele6502]

The men should also have to go through those period simulations to understand women's pain, and anyone who wants to pass legislation about women's health should have to talk to several gynecologists about the risks of pregnancy and childbirth.

[@GenXWitch67]

Six months of trucking dispatch also.

[@dannyellaboatboat]

I worked at McD’s for 5 years. Learned a lot during that time, don’t regret it at all

[@rosesmith6925]

"We want your babies",or "I want to protect you", yeah because that's not CREEPY AS HELL 🙄

[@jacquelinecallejas1390]

Musk saying he wants to give Taylor Swift babies and protect her cats is VERY creepy. No wonder he and T*** get along.

[@n.e.c.6389]

Yeah, I worked in & around coal mines and a preparation plant for 24 years. I can tell you that Trump wouldn't even be able to get that rotund bod into a 42 inch high coal seam for even 15 minutes. He's just pure light duty for any actual work period.

[@tammyorton6356]

One night, back in 1985, me and my husband were driving home from Galveston, Tx. I was very pregnant with our first son. We were driving north bound and up ahead of us, 2 cars were driving south bound. As we were approaching the 2 cars, the first car stopped, to turn across the Hwy. Just as it stopped, the second car swerved out in front of us, not having time to stop. My husbands quick reaction of changing lanes, saved me and our baby, from what could have been, a devastating head on collision! I called him "my protector" that evening...... And for our 23 years of marriage.... He lived up to that name. He was an amazing husband to me and wonderful father, to both our boys. He's missed greatly. Always and Forever. ❤

[@Lindy98]

What a creep.

[@grittygrits9420]

As a woman I find trump an absolute creep.

[@dianaswan7655]

And obnoxious, arrogant &sleazy

[@tonymiller6847]

He's an ECS/evil cranky stinker!

[@musicinggp]

Every woman's (hmmm...maybe man's) NIGHTMARE...not someone anyone would bring home...for any reason.

[@andrewstevenson118]

As a *man I find trump an absolute creep.

[@dolphinsleap]

trust me, trump was creepy when he first showed up in the 60's/70's!! he has NOT improved one stitch!!! hehehe

[@DJCompl3x1]

This show got me through the lockdown

[@wandapease-gi8yo]

This plus many kitten videos and Sabaton History channel

[@michaelburggraf2822]

Stephen Colbert was probably more effective against COVID-19 than Donald Trump - and in a healthier way.

[@dcboz71bosworth79]

Waltz is a good Man

[@Baatfull_Ocolm]

This was one of his best opening monologues. Bravo!

[@rawsee]

"Now this may shock you....but that quote is not Shakespeare" Bahaha Steve! I'm DYING! Stop it! 😭

[@kjpcgaming9296]

Great Now I have to watch again cos I missed that hahahaha

[@sheilaboston7051]

Hail-fellow-well-met is an old-fashioned adjective that means very friendly and enthusiastic, sometimes insincerely. donald, the stable genius!

[@andrewstevenson118]

@@sheilaboston7051 The only stable genius I know of, is Mr Ed. 🙂

[@kidynamite58]

And in the process disparages his audience by implying they had never heard of him.

[@cynthiapena1141]

​@@andrewstevenson118THAT was EXCELLENT!!! 👌

[@JPBrooksLive]

Mark Robinson really isn't helping beat the "weird" charges.

[@Whatzzzz999]

GOP is weird from top to bottom

[@melanieearly3450]

He’s the perfect prototype of a maga

[@MobehTaBlues]

That robinson opening joke was willlllllddddddddd

[@elainedaprano9130]

"I want to be your protector '. RUNNNNNNN!!!!😳

[@kenbrown2808]

a brisk walk is enough to get away from him.

[@JohannaLeigh]

He's the guy who women, and America, en masse, needs protection from! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@andrewstevenson118]

But Elaine, darling, honey, babe, I want to be your protector. There's nothing creepy about that. At all. No, you're weird. I'm not weird.

[@babyblue61549]

Thank u for making me laugh. Thru these crazy times! What would we do without you!❤

[@Laurgal5]

"Protector"? Barf......🤮

[@rls25132]

I worked at McDonald's for two years in HS. The fries were the worst job. You had to move so fast frequent burns occurred with a cage/basket burn mark. Also, the grease all over your face and neck, grease on your clothing...try to get fry stink out of your clothing and hair. I believe Harris, I suffered it too.

[@FLASH-MATT]

Great to see his disdain for McDonald's employees and how he underestimates their work. I guess they will not forget to answer with their vote. 😮🍟 🔵

[@alex35agm]

If Trump keeps insulting McDonald's staff he might get some secret sauce with his next order.

[@FLASH-MATT]

@@alex35agm I had not even thought about this... hahaha 🤢 He likes to play with fire... 🙄🤢🤮

[@judyweeks1480]

Well, I honestly hope they don't let him in the kitchen, sweating his orange makeup all over everything.

[@RAFAEL-tn7md]

I won't be surprised if he starts tasting shit in his burgers for talking shit of the workers at Micky D's

[@remeshpanicker]

That would be poetic justice! MAGA has been feeding on his verbal poop. ​@@RAFAEL-tn7md

[@carmensantacruz5685]

"We want this, babys. we need them?" Fing creepy! So weird 😕

[@schin9307]

I threw up a little on my mouth hearing how he said it.

[@annphillips1086]

I am so going to have nightmares about that.

[@Salma_Nella]

I can sleep well at night because of his humor ❤

[@Annapurna818]

Cannot say the same for Gaza, Yemen and Lebanon.

[@gilbertspader7974]

@@Annapurna818they made their bed. I hope they enjoy.

[@divi2747]

@@Annapurna818 don't you think it's interesting that trump supports the israeli government without supporting the people of israel? He certainly does not support the palistinian people. don't think he's on the side of people anywhere. he is on the side of money and power, the only things he truly cares about, well, and popularity.

[@ananamu2248]

That " i want to protect you " was the creepiest line 50 yrs ago !

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

Imagine thinking Kamala not working at McDonald's is a "gotcha." THAT is the level of desperation Trump is at right now.

[@lyndafjellman3315]

Because the State *Prosecutor* didn't have it on her CV! As if a McDonald's job in college would feature on any lawyer's resume.

[@chocolatechip12]

As I like to tell my idiot relatives, "Biden's America must be pretty great if Trump's most pressing issues are how black Harris is and whether or not she worked at McDonald's."

[@flyrobin2544]

He's upset because it's his favorite restaurant.

[@luxurypetscz]

don't forget this is the man who said she "turned black"

[@xelamercedes]

This is the most fun I've ever had watching disgusting desperation.

[@JoshSingh-y2c]

Yeah, ladies, imagine what he'll protect you from. Starting with your own consent.

[@binaryfairy4197]

LSSC has been essential during this election season, it ALWAYS gives me a lot of VERY much needed laughter! Steven & the writers are brilliant, TY!!

[@elementeight8]

Considering the USA has a MILITARY presence in over 150 countries, I think “foreigners” have a right to be concerned.

[@frenchfriar]

If he actually works at a fryer for thirty minutes, that will be more work than he's done in his entire life. And at that, he's going to be highly supervised and watched like a hawk so he doesn't screw it up and burn the fries. Bigly sad.

[@PC-kd7dj]

More likely he’d eat all the fries he cooked.

[@robo5013]

He sounds like one of those construction company supervisors who's mad the job is delayed then comes out to the job site, runs about like an idiot banging things around for five minutes then declares, "that's the pace I want to see all of you working at!" before storming off back to his air conditioned office with a smug look on his face. Yeah, right. Let me see you keep up that frantic pace for twelve hours buddy.

[@tesos2866]

He would just stand there and eat all the fries 🍟

[@delta5297]

I like how the graphics team went to the trouble of including Ackbar's first name.

[@stevenperry9762]

I know, right? Proper.

[@kbusse]

Donold has never in his life shopped in a supermarket. That alone is disqualifying.

[@joycetrembath499]

Yeah. Like Michael Jackson, but he had to have it cleared of real customers and have his own people pretend to be customers so he could get the "full" experience.

[@MatthewSmith-db1ig]

Many people like to buy groceries online these days & though I enjoy overall the experience of buying groceries in an actual store I understand why some would not want to regularly do that.

[@thomasakagi7545]

To be fair, would you trust him alone in a supermarket?

[@MatthewSmith-f7u]

​@@thomasakagi7545Well, if 2 people are "alone" in a supermarket then that is not usually good for a supermarket.

[@kbusse]

@@MatthewSmith-db1ig Oh, I totally understand that, but that started just a few years ago. Being totally lost in a supermarket is dementia and/or sign of a silver spoon life.

[@stephanieadams3747]

Trump saying "we want those babies" is freaking super creepy!

[@RAFAEL-tn7md]

Specially when it comes from Hannibal lecter

[@glenncordova4027]

Especially because it comes from the long time, Jerry Epstein party buddy

[@SearchfortheMeaning]

What did they say Dems were doing with babies??? Adrenochrome nonsense?!?!? Ayayay 🤦‍♂️

[@bajanroots9852]

Am I the only one that was reminded of Austin Powers' Fat Bastard? "Get in my belly!"

[@JaNouWatIkVind]

I guess the Trad wives feel differently.

[@drumbird]

This episode hit right. Good job Steven and Writers!

[@kikiokellern7351]

When you're in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, your resume' should include jobs that you've had that will be beneficial to the job you're going for. I've been in education for 27 years. Why would I put the experience of being a food service worker unless I am going to work in the school cafeteria? Though truthfully, I may add that I worked as a food server for 10 years prior to education because all I ever needed to know about patience, quick organizing skills, and focus, I've learned through years of working in the food industry.

[@Pthaloskies]

With 34 felony convictions and multiple arrests, Trump could never be hired by McDonalds or any other legit company.

[@Annapurna818]

But he did not fund genocide and does not have the blood of thousands on his hands.

[@JLee-rt6ve]

@@Annapurna818 He also didn't eat a giraffe. So?

[@laskey2175]

@@Annapurna818 Even if he were a completely altruistic egalitarian, it wouldn't matter. He still tried to overthrow the US government. His views don't matter. Trump's resume says: Traitor to America. And it always will.

[@evatripp7788]

​@@Annapurna818he DID help KILL 500,000 of his OWN SUPPORTERS by telling them to NOT WEAR MASK & INJECT BLEACH into THEMSELVES SO... he is a narcissistic PSYCHOPATH!!! we can do MUCH BETT 11:55 11:55 ER then t...p/maga!!!🤗 VOTE 💙 VOTE HARRIS/WALZ💙👍

[@maxinel1776]

@@Annapurna818Of course he had thousands of blood on his hands from Covid.

[@shannonmcstormy5021]

Tim Waltz is sane, down to earth, intelligent, and a good guy. He is the kind of leaders we need in Washington as opposed to the insane, disturbingly weird, downright stupid felons on the opposite ticket.

[@maurawhelan3530]

Omg trump trying to quote Shakespeare? I’m truly feeling nauseous …

[@judyweeks1480]

He knows the twits he's appealing his hate to haven't got a clue.

[@bwenluck9812]

@maura It's *not* Shakespeare!!!

[@seansmith3058]

"He will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth a fool."

[@Jean-qu1qw]

If only... Father Fred had been sterile!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@audikennedy8112]

Gosh… what a great monologue tonight!

[@clearfield2009]

“No women will have to worry about abortion…”’ = “nobody will ever have to vote again.”

[@Jman-uz6gp]

Because abortion is illegal and I am your king, Donold Dump.

[@suehowie152]

Only on day one,right...?

[@JohannaLeigh]

That second statement REALLY creeps me out. Another way of saying, "Next time I get in, I'm STAYING.". Like termites in the foundation of a log house, by the time you figure out you have 'em, you've already fallen through the floor. Donald Trump and his maggot crew have begun a slow nibbling into the social, economic, political and legal fabrics of this country. He was stopped, but the damage will be far worse if he is allowed another opportunity. On November 5th keep the Maga termites out of America's foundation. On November 5th Vote like your future depends on it. vote Harris/Walz. God Help America . 🇺🇸

[@FeralFerrell530]

Kasey Musgraves has a song named Biscuits that has that gravy saying. Good words to live by 💞

[@billgabrielsonjr7259]

@FeralFerrell530 Great song. Just like “Follow your Arrow”.

[@robertgandler3177]

spot on honest and hysterical as always thanks for speaking the truth once again my friend!

[@jeef7980]

Trump...America's biggest joke

[@laskey2175]

He is more than just the worst potus of all time. Trump has called for an end to The Constitution. If he wins, we lose our country. "You won't even have to vote anymore." -Trump

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

Literally....a joke. A scary joke, too !

[@airlife2u]

😂 Well wait till you see what Harris does to United States 🙄 I bet you don't say that in 4 years....❤ Foolish Direction for the freedom the United States.. I'm not saying women are not strong but this woman is not the one to run a country I'll Guarantee that Guarantee that 😂 Democrat or Republican they're both criminal organizations. But don't you think we ought to have had the tougher of the 2.. You have an olympus day thank you for reading my comment

[@bluesky2680]

The worlds biggest joke

[@Seigensi]

america, america's second biggest joke.

[@Missunderstood103]

🤷Think Donald could maybe consider the possibility of a Health Plan while standing over that McDonald's deep fryer? ...Nah, me neither.

[@GingerDog207]

Ahhh come on, he's got a 'concept' of a plan!!! 😂 Man, that's never gonna get old at my house...

[@beverlywaleur5745]

I don't want Trump to be my protector. I want to be protected from Trump.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Trump saying he will protect Women is like Sauron promising his rings aren't going to enslave you to him.

[@Klm49]

This just broke me into outrageous laughter again after I had just stopped crying/laughing over Colbert's impersonation of Trump on a date promising to never look away from the woman even in the bathroom!! 😂😂😂 So thank you for that!!

[@alexvaraderey]

Perhaps Laura Loomer is his new ''precious''.

[@davidlundquist1979]

"No, no. Those are the OLD rings you're thinking of. These new ones give control of your soul to the Witch King! Totally different!"

[@Wud-f2r]

Only more sexual-assaulty

[@cynthiapena1141]

😂😂😂​@@davidlundquist1979

[@Dandelionfleur]

I will protect you says the grotch grabber.

[@andrewstevenson118]

Just saying... but is "grotch" a thing? Like, if I said to my wife I love her "grotch", I think she'd punch me. (And given my wife's strength, I would quite possibly be dead.) 🙂

[@princessravensmommy]

You said Kittanning correctly!!! 👏👏 Sprankles, glad you can host this baffoon- have you replaced the broken compressor in the deli cooler you've been continuing to stock for weeks despite it being too warm for safe consumption of any of the food 🤢 it took what 6 months for then to get the chicken slim out of the poultry cooler. Nice all the owners can show up for Trump but not their customers.

[@jenswetter251]

Crump: my toot-toot-truck has a contresser too - I think; the most contresser there's ever been, I've been told

[@JoeySmith-dn6bk]

Trump makes me feel like I'm living in a simulation of ground hog day except it's Trump forever on our TV screens yappin and lying and lying and yappin🙄 wtf all of you in XAI780K ??

[@gamepapa1211]

The new bot scheme seems to be posting something popular, getting thousands of likes, and then editing it to add an XAI780K spam code. Do you even make good money out of this? Because this is such a dumb scam.

[@iainford7592]

Only a fool would invest in that Musk/Trump con.

[@democratpatriot6752]

Do "perfect babies" have blond hair and blue eyes, Donald?

[@Avarren]

Blond dye is fine, just ask Ivanka.

[@mjbreeze]

And .. he needs them?? 🧐

[@MamaOdie]

Lebensborn 🤔

[@kc6810]

And male

[@jeffbaer5851]

The failed former president wishes to defer that question to the mastermind of the "Great Replacement Theory," F*cker Carlson. And Carlson's answer? "Yes, but only if they're BOYS and have IRRADIATED BALLS SO THEY CAN BE REAL MEN AND COMPLETELY, TOTALLY NOT GAY EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE SHAVED, IRRADIATED BALLS."

[@Dr_1212]

Trump For Prison 2024

[@oldrrocr]

still bad-mouthing Joe!? Perhaps he needs a padded cell...

[@elwoodsweetapple3269]

@@oldrrocr Oh so you can't spell or read?

[@SeawolfMarine]

Deserving Jail Time 2024

[@cmvdoo]

Can't wait..!

[@4leafclover243]

@@elwoodsweetapple3269the common thing about Russian bots and MAGA is that both are programmed.

[@Argonaut121]

I'm so glad that Harris picked Walz just so we can see Colbert's imitation.

[@suzannehanchowski8613]

Just substitute dictator for protector!!!

[@judyweeks1480]

Just substitute predator for protector.