Tim Allen Opens Up About Caring For Aging Parents: 'It's Really Difficult'

"Nobody trains you how to be a parent to your parent." Tim Allen opens up about the challenges of taking care of his mother as she gets older, including influencing her to move into an assisted living home by comparing it to a condo in Florida.
#KellyClarksonShow #TimAllen
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[@joeyrobison6629]

My dad recently passed, but I had to be his caregiver for the last 10 years of his life. When Tim mentioned it being hard to be a parent to your parent, I totally empathized and sympathized. I absolutely hated being the adult to my adult, if that makes sense. It felt like crossing the line of respect and disrespect.

[@brandonallen4873]

It’s crazy to hear Tim Allen saying that because he had a daughter in his 50s imagine what she has to deal with when she grows up

[@sexydudeuk2172]

We are under no obligation to look after our parents. Just cos they looked after us when they were children dosent mean we must look after them. A child has no free will, are not old enough to make their own decisions. A parents are legally entitled to look after their child otherwise they will be taken off them. A childs destiny is to grow up.and reproduce. An elderly person on the other hand has lived their lives done their duty and are burdened with illness. Their destiny is to die so let them

[@Marthannh.3496]

You are dishonorable. You must still honor them by helping them.

[@j2times2006]

​@@sexydudeuk2172 Mook logic

[@thelifesampler]

​@@sexydudeuk2172ok dude i hope you think the same way when nobody visits you except some strangers you pay to wipe your sss when old. Surely thats whay you want

[@rhomo]

I'm currently taking care of my sweet elderly Mom. This interview really resonates. It's VERY difficult to watch your parent disintegrate before your eyes, but they need us just as we needed them when we were growing up. Support from friends who understand is so important!

[@nnickerson7636]

Love Tim Allen. I was watching an old Johnny Carson last night and Tim was on there, must have been when he first started out.

[@bluebear1985]

I think I've seen that clip too. The time Tim was on there, Johnny mentioned that "Home Improvement" was the only new show on TV that particular season to be in the top 10.

[@adamgranger5653]

He's right about nobody provides you with a book on how to meaningfully care for our parents as they get older while we try to navigate our own lives and families. My grandma died in June after a 3 year battle with dementia and because my mom died in 2016 from cancer that left my aunt as the only daughter who was around to be my grandma's caretaker and she had an incredibly difficult task of making sure decisions were made in my grandma's best interests and that the nursing facility where was staying was providing adequate care that my aunt would have approved of. The hardest part for me whenever i would go visit her with the understanding that any recent memory that she once had was no longer there was this one particular visit when she asked about my mom and if she was still alive. It was difficult for me to have to sit there and remind a grieving mother that her daughter had in fact passed away but i wanted to assure her that my mom had lived a good life and that she wasn't suffering anymore from the disease that took her from us. The last time i saw my grandma in person she somewhat remembered me but gently had to be reminded just in case she couldn't recognize me all the way and that is what i cherish the most is that she never actually forgot me even during her hardest days of living with such a cruel illness. She was 77 but she had a terrific life and she knew how much we all loved her and that she was able to go in peace and it's a part of my beliefs that my mom was there to guide her to the other side so that those two could spend eternity together with no pain

[@latrenagraham520]

Love Tim Allen!! Lol😂😂

[@allentrice1547]

Great timing for Tim Allen! 😃👍

[@theodorelaurence1790]

You want me to feel bad for a guy that is not actually doing the drudgery of being the one to physically take care of his mother, he pays other people to do that for him, it doesn’t interfere with his ability to make money and he has 9 other siblings to share in the load that he’s not actually shouldering? Dude, there are people that are the sole caretakers of their parents and it interferes with their jobs and there is no one lined up to take care of them in return. He didn’t want to admit that he put his mother in a home. So he’s not the one getting up in the middle of the night to take her to the bathroom. He is not the one making her meals. He is not physically trapped to one location. By the way, all of these tasks were done for him by the mother he put in a home. I’ll reserve my sympathy for someone who deserves it. He ain’t it.

[@dianemurray6550]

I'm with you. What a whiny self-absorbed, obtuse little man. His elderly mother, pawned off on a nursing home, sometimes says things that don't track? And he had to HEAR IT????? It's a wonder he survived! I was a late-in-life, surprise baby. Dad died when I was 10, and mom became chronically ill when I was 11. I was her sole caregiver from that age until her passing in my arms when I was 31. NEVER put her in a home. Never lied to her to make my life easier. Not complaining, either. Just comparing.

[@theodorelaurence1790]

Now see, YOU have been a caregiver and have my deepest and most respectful sympathies for the load that was dumped on you, even more since you were a kid. In my example, I had an adult in mind which is already hard, but for a child, good lord. I hope you are number 1 in your life now and taking at least as much care of yourself as you did your dear mother. With the load that you have already carried, I think you should do your best to be very picky about the people you let into your life, no free loaders. They must be very nurturing to you. I know your parents didn’t mean to put you in that situation, but you were in it nonetheless. As a result, you have a lot of self nurturing to catch up on and don’t deprive yourself or let anyone else deprive you of any of it!!!! You’re worth all the love and support you can get!

[@sexydudeuk2172]

that's why i say we are under no obligation to take car of our parents. just cos they looked after us when we were kids doesn't mean we should look after them as seniors. parents are legally required to look after their kids because children have no free will and are not old enough to make their own decisions. If the parent don't look after them the child will be taken off them. A childs destiny is to grow up and reproduce. An elderly person on the other hand has lived their life and done their duty and are now burdened with incurable illnesses. Their destiny is to die so let them

[@marigoldbeam5475]

I understand you entirely. I've been there and I am still there. After two years with no respite it is a sort of a living hell that I would not wish on my worst enemy. The only thing that keeps me going is I know she has zero chance of survival without me and I will not see her abused and neglected, which is what people, bank staff, supermarket clerks, even her G.P. and some relatives included, were doing to her since she has dementia. Actually caring for aged parents on a one to one basis alone is not for the fainthearted or fickle. I'm so sick of people who left the care of their parents to another telling me what a good daughter I am and how they wish they could have done the same, but their job, their spouse, their blah blah, as if I didn't or don't have those condiderations too. I could punch them in the face.

[@marigoldbeam5475]

@@theodorelaurence1790 Agreed.

[@amielawson8344]

Love Tim Allen!

[@ShowMeMo]

A rich man puts his elderly mother into a condo and then talks about "caring" for his elderly parent. Can't relate. Maybe if he moved her in with him in a small cramped house and lived in daily fear of losing his job due to the overwhelming immense tasks and appointments required by his elderly mother, for YEARS, giving up his own wants and needs, then he might have something to share.

[@chevybowl1527]

YES! Didn’t he say that he was one of nine kids? If so, then he was lucky. My mother lost her father almost a year ago and then four months later she lost her husband! So I’m trying to take care of her and I’m single. I’ve only have a couple of cousins in the area. Her brothers are out of state. So I’ve been taking her to her doctors and making sure she’s taking her medication. But it’s what needs to be done and she’s really all i have. It’s tough to see your parents falling apart and not much that you can really do about it!

[@AriessunvirgomoonlightLibraise]

I totally innerstand luv ❤️

[@brendastough2800]

I understand what Allen is talking about I helped my sister care for our Mom she lived with my sister. It’s hard my Mom had dementia.

[@bonitahobbs2374]

Kelley is REAL, I like that.

[@user-mf5nf5ok8m]

caregiving my parents would absolutely have been very different if I had 9 siblings.

[@marshaestep7453]

No one trained you to be a mother. It's all about love that you want to take care of each other.❤️

[@barbarasmith779]

I love love Home Improvement. Just cant get into his new show.

[@johnosam4681]

One thing that I learned recently on caring for an aging parent, is dont try to be a parent to your parent, it wont work. Watch the ted talk about it.

[@bluevioletandlilac]

I don't get the sense Kelly has had to truly deal with her elderly parents or grandparents yet. Sure, I could make a ton of jokes about my grandmother's current bedridden state following her broken hip, but it'd just be a Stepford-like cover for all the torment the whole family's gone through. We hate that she has to stay where she is but we just couldn't care for her at home. It's honestly hell to exist with that realization.

[@yellowthermos]

I felt the same way - Kelly doesnt really grasp the real issues (yet). She thinks it's about being extra busy because you also work full time, but thats just a fractuon of the physical and mental toll caregiving parents takes.

[@mariannejennisch9293]

How about caring for one in a one bedroom apartment. We made it work.

[@slipknot73745]

As a son of a mom who's 64, does anyone have any advice on later years? Celebrating a year and a half with our first son and life's just so bittersweet.

[@marigoldbeam5475]

Talk to your mother about her latter years and make plans. Don't let her bury her head in the sand and just assume things will work themselves out or you will both get the rudest shock and awakening of your lives. I assumed my mother was taking care of her affairs, after all she was a high achieving professional, and I visited her often and spoke to her daily, but I never discussed such things with her. She left her affairs a mess as she has aged and lost mental capacity. I had a surprise call from a good samaritan/total stranger that she was lost on the street during the latter stages of the covid 19 pandemic and one of the many lockdowns. I had to literally abandon my life, fly to another continent and be smuggled across a closed border to rescue her. To say the impact has been catastrophic and devastating on my life and wellbeing is an understatement. The burden, and it does become a burden when you do it entirely alone for years, becomes almost unbearable. Discuss things, make her make plans and arrangements in advance, do not assume any other relative will help because unless you are really blessed the one who steps in usually does so alone. Look at the options you have for paid care and what that entails, such as moving locations sometimes. Maybe the best thing will be she sells up and moves in with your family. Whatever the case, make your arrangements, power of attorney, a living will, downsizing from a house that is too big etc. well in advance. And if you have siblings 'never' assume they will help. I have seen the worst sides of mine since my mother became old and infirm.

[@charlenesterken2604]

I took care of my mom for 30 yrs she never learned to drive divorced my dad ,i was 14 , 6 kids my brother took her untill i could than it was just me

[@gabyloibl5172]

Was this the right interview situation for Kelly to be laughing out like this? Wished she would have been more empathetic, asked more questions and make it less about her. Love Tim.

[@sharminiserasinghe3293]

My thoughts exactly. Her loud laughter was terribly annoying. Caregiving is a nightmare. She wouldn't be laughing if she has gone through what we family caregivers are going through.

[@AriessunvirgomoonlightLibraise]

At least he has the financial freedom of putting her some place, most of us dont have that, were stuck with the narcissist parent after the other parent passes away

[@KoKo-gu3dh]

Tim Allen is talking about a very personal story & she keeps on laughing. Annoying to see!

[@connorhanlon1209]

Adam Connor Kelly clakson sow and you have. Katy Perry potter

[@connorhanlon1209]

Adam. I love you sister. Happy 😃 happy Kelly clakson sow love you 😘 happy birthday Connor ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️🎈❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺🌺🌺🌺Sam champion Katy Perry

[@JulieLAgresta]

Used to like him but Once I found out he's a Trumpsters...I'm Done.

[@ScoobyandShaggy5554]

Grow up! He’s not a trumpy either he’s a Republican

[@Drnaynay]

Absolutely grow up. Aren't people more than just one aspect, especially one that you think you know about, but may not? If he's funny and warm, and kind, and talking lovingly and respectfully about being a son, why judge him based on what you don't know?

[@ScoobyandShaggy5554]

@@Drnaynay exactly he even said on the same interview on another video that he and Tom hanks differ greatly but they listen to each other and get along, having lunch 2-3 times a year. That’s called growth

[@joeyrobison6629]

I have TFG supporters in my family. We make it a choice never to discuss politics, especially with Thanksgiving coming up!

[@DrewsToyStory]

Tim is far more moderate than you’d think. From what I’ve read/observed of him he’s incredibly fair minded and reasonable. I have a lot of respect for people like him!