#193

[@TimDillonShow]

For bonus episodes and old archives of the show: www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow

[@johnmastroligulano7401]

Welcome to the Matrix, a prison for your mind or as they call it in Star Trek=The Cage The Cave The trial for sentience as Q from Star Trek The Next Generation would call it. There are millions & millions of red dress people=programs/people who act as human shields/prison walls this is what Morpheus meant. Good luck & I agree this sucks, try knowing this your entire life, imagine how nuts that would drive you. Born into a shitty Twilight Zone movie where everyone around you isn't thinking & if you question just wtf is going on why they can't think it's like staring into the abyss & those people either get a blank stare or start trying to attack you as if you are what's wrong. Also what DiCaprio meant in inception in that mirrors scene.

[@czourides]

PLANdemic

[@czourides]

Event 201, Timmy. From One ex long Islander to another, there's a lot more to this than you think. And I'm sure you're aware of tower 7 in regards to 911. I was in Manhattan, close to the towers on that fateful day. A 47 story skyscraper never hit by a plane collapsing at freefall speed into its own footprint. It's 2020, conspiracy theorist R conspiracy realists. If you'd like to take this discussion to the next level, I'm open.

[@czourides]

By the way, Tim, it's clear that you are holding back on some of these conspiracies, props to you for being high profile and needing to balance what's being said. You're doing a phenomenal job. No joke. Big fan. You were great on the Whitney Cummings podcast the other day, I was never a fan of Whitney, though she seemed pretty cool when speaking with you.

[@czourides]

Go watch Contagion on Netflix, Tim. That came out one week before this Coronavirus. I don't know one person that has this disease, yet I know several that had the flu a few months ago. Yet there are countless celebrities now that have it. Get the f*** out of here

[@krispafford7570]

I'm a trucker trying my best too bring food. You make my life a little better Tim. Thank you.

[@hudsontoo1212]

Kris Pafford thanks bro! I’m on the road for my job all and I see you guys everywhere- you deserve thanks.

[@CH-ml4rz]

Thanks, man! Im repairing schools, its nice and quiet 😂

[@XDLVLXP]

Kris Pafford same here! This guy somehow gives you some hope and it feels good to hear this guy on the road !

[@mikedavis3634]

Kris Pafford thank you for your service !

[@youngkingdom8131]

Well I’m a lot lizard and I service the truckers. Show me some respect too!

[@denied584]

no one comes close to this. The Tim Dillon will not be televised

[@user-nn8eq5tv2g]

😂😂we're spoiled man. This dude's podcast is legitimately an A+ standup bit everytime😂😂 I just started listening to this pod and this is better than 97% of the standup specials. I wish it was 9/11 hahahaha, what a great writer

[@user-nn8eq5tv2g]

"China is taking people and throwing them in a furnace" bahahhahah, come on man. This is guy's delivery is TOO good. "They gonna put the gun in your throat" 😂😂😂

[@Probasaur]

Truth. I feel like im back ten years ago when i was watching Rogan and maron and comedy bang bang

[@tkcaapi2876]

he spits venom that is so measured. hes one of the good ones! 🍺✊😎

[@tkcaapi2876]

his Gary Vee bit was so good 🤣

[@elcypher6102]

@Chemical Shed The Wuhan God

[@BigdaddyZucc]

We need Tim Dillon to host his own GTA radio station.

[@sictwosic1677]

Is there a tim dillon eddie bravo?

[@karljonson3287]

Oh dear God I want these podcasts on the radio.

[@stuartporteous7762]

That is a magnificent idea 👏🏻👏🏻

[@hunterlittle8793]

Tim Dillon needs to be a character in GTA6. Possibly the player character...

[@Walnder]

Lmao...I remember Opie& Anthony..days .. . Patrice Oneal. And Tim Dillion on the same dial would be legit I'm GTA dial

[@josephclark6478]

I love Tim’s free flow. The places he goes off the cuff, it’s so hilarious. It’s cool. To just follow along and then just gut laugh.

[@modestmarionette7893]

It really is like comedy jazz

[@depressedtv]

"I just want to be able to be photographed helping people."

[@lebulle4544]

There is no other podcast where I'm actively listening to it and not doing something else. This is great.

[@funkdonk]

*video starts* “Aww i wish it was 911!” 😂😂😂

[@YoYo-xr3ew]

Lmao

[@deezlesteezle]

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

[@cjhansen5715]

The absolute truest roast of podcasts: "Why does your studio look like an adult treehouse?"

[@ChelleyMadison]

The Tim Dillon Show is the most hilarious hour on KZbin - every week, consistently.

[@TwinCitiesOutdoors]

And better than a number of Netflix specials

[@SouthernOregonOrgani]

Get on his patreon! Like for real, every Tuesday he puts out a bonus and once a month he does a super exclusive one for the 20$ tier where he goes Hard in the conspiracy paint!

[@williamsutherland1175]

The black shirts add to the disembodied Charlie Rose aesthetic. Into it.

[@TheUsurperJoffreyBaratheon]

This is the only thing keeping me sane during this damn quarantine.

[@ernestocalzone1171]

Chris Hansen take a seat for me

[@amir.420]

Im still watching his episodes for the 3rd time

[@blakethomas2352]

“I will fight a middle aged woman” hahahaha

[@tylo8328]

This was around the peak of the Tim Dillon show. Pandemic times were great with this one.

[@sspandchange]

i wish i had found it back then seriously

[@imspidermannomore]

every episode is awesome now. i'm loving the pandemic arc of this show

[@maximusaralieous1728]

The opening of this podcast may be one of the greatest podcast openings I've ever seen. He's actually very insightful in many subjects and hilarious.

[@TwinCitiesOutdoors]

He's a nuanced guy and is well versed in history and politics.

[@Cuyt24]

Tim looks like a manager at the Olive Garden. Tim Dillon is no longer sponsored by Polo Ralph Lauren. Tim and Ben only wear Lacoste now.

[@TheFatSteez]

Christian Slater you stink

[@hallo4966]

Was a little sad to see Tim not wearing RL

[@tekClown]

The voice of reason in these strange times.

[@ronaldyodersr]

Thank you Tim & Ben, this podcast has become pure catharsis for me at this point. You are both essential workers my friend. PS "This Is Not A Snowday" is the new "Life In The Big City".

[@jwolff1991]

Timmy really championing the "Floating head and 2 floating arms" look this episode

[@lukedawson5183]

"we cant get masks to nurses... do you know how many frozen yogurt shops we have in this country?"

[@sheilaselvia5063]

She

[@sheilaselvia5063]

She loves iloves 😊😊😊

[@sheilaselvia5063]

She 888i8888

[@goodefinancials4859]

This is entertaining to listen to almost a year later.

[@OutlierConcepts]

Still going hard 2 years later

[@OutlierConcepts]

@Joseph Price reconvene in a year

[@ryanp6999]

@Joseph Price You guys have any openings?

[@kphilpott77]

So glad you didn't get banned from ymh.

[@waseqfarhan]

"My family hates each other and that's what I love about them." -Tim Dillon

[@benalberduin5256]

“You don’t wanna burn the hospitals, I get it.” - Tim Dillon 2020

[@Goldfishsoldier03]

"The Irish and the Italians have destroyed this country." Tim Dillon 2020.

[@redkingoldhero38]

@Mike Lee ok wasp

[@MrMAgoo-cb4wz]

Lmao

[@Goldfishsoldier03]

@Mike Lee Hahaha post that on /pol/

[@brencelt]

@Mike Lee haha! Built by wasps my arse

[@AlyAyeee]

The real hero in these trying times. Tim Dillon will unite us all.

[@ThatProGuy]

I'm a nurse and I was just talking with my coworker about how much it must suck if you dont have a job that you get to leave your house for. Work is hectic but at least Im not sitting around the house all day everyday.

[@CH-ml4rz]

Uh-huh! Im fixin’ up schools these days and its nice and quiet! My life is 95% unchanged.

[@jacksondowdle5217]

Ben's constant nodding makes Tim's rants so much funnier

[@thedevilsmilk]

Why isn’t Tim really famous yet? when even during a world wide crisis he is undeniably the most entertaining talking mouth out here.

[@jasonkrapf]

I think he now is pretty famous. Hell get a Netflix special but he deserves his own show. By far my favorite personality on earth.

[@kenmagarino3947]

Hes too real for the masses lol

[@fatguybob2778]

@@jasonkrapf Netflix deal ain’t looking too hot

[@BaldHeadedManc]

Fuck Netflix, dude sells out shows all over the world!

[@filipkonstantinov9900]

This is Tim Dillon's era. Since Patrice nine years of whatever and then this murderer. Thank you Tim Dillon.

[@pareja90210]

Waited all goddamn day. Timmy D is the A+ content that keeps 2020 making sense

[@elcypher6102]

@Chemical Shed first one ive ever paid for to hear the archives totally worth it.

[@Probasaur]

This is the first show i actually feel better after listening to. Trying to pretend like everything's cool people are sick of hearing about it... no it's just you need to make light of it. This is the perfect example

[@youngkingdom8131]

Tim, it is time to step it up and start pumping out 3-4 videos a week on KZbin. You will never again have a more captive audience watching at home! This is the time for audience building. -hugsnkisses

[@acetate909]

Man has a point Tim, -fingersnpenises

[@CH-ml4rz]

No

[@BobbyBlancoGaming]

Can’t rant hard for an hour straight every other day, need that week to build up content/world news/ current events etc

[@acetate909]

@@BobbyBlancoGaming You're saying that someone who talks for a living can't produce 3 hours of captivating words per week? By my probably perfect calculations there are at least a billion hours in a week. Tim can pick anyone one of his favorite words and arrange them in a particular order so their harmonic vibrations illicit spasmadic convolutions in my diaphragm. Because isn't that what comedy is all about.

[@BobbyBlancoGaming]

emf 1200 um yah but the rest of his rants and content go to patreon where people pay for him to go the extra mile. I just don’t see him doing that for KZbin bro

[@una4all1]

Just discovered Tim Dillon. He is perhaps the closest living thing to Patrice O'neal. He has all the talent to be among the super-elites of comedy by his early 40s.

[@kaitlinquinn1872]

“They get a vote and you get a vote.” This is my second listen. I am usually forced by proxy to listen to all my husbands podcasts and while I enjoy most of them. This is by far my favorite episode of any cast ever. Sorry Skanks, Bonfire, Shane and Matt, and RAP. Love y’all still, but this is the funniest ever. 😂😂

[@theshineyone1111]

I'm new to this podcast and it's legit up there as the funniest podcasts of all time. Dillon is on another level. This podcasts is gonna be massive. Norman on the Pod would be amazing. Binging all your episodes now. Thanks for all the laughs in this wild times.

[@manialchoroomi9657]

The only thing that makes the experience of listening to Tim Dillon better is Tim Dillon in VR

[@lukepedersen9681]

The opening joke is better than the biggest stand-ups closers

[@kkfaerber]

It’s fun listening to Tim go at it from this side early on and then completely switch. Listening through these old ones is like an archeological dig of hyper opinions.

[@dylantrfk9652]

Underrated episode here as far as views go

[@maryhoppenworth2501]

I'm losing it listening to this! HYSTERICAL. Thank you Tim!!!!

[@michaelzabala6739]

tim Dillon is the only person i have ever been able to listen to the same podcast more then once.

[@aanbb48]

Opening monologue was on point Tim!

[@timothysummers3807]

"Swimmin in the crick..., its sewage now" 🤣🤣🤣😢😢😢

[@kodykloudsmusic]

"Why doesn't your studio look like an adult treehouse?" FUUUUUCK , IM WEAK. xD

[@pt2hays]

Between the comedy hit bits.. I've never known a comedian dropping truth bombs on the regular. Good stuff.

[@Beradphotos]

Bill Hicks.. rest his soul. Tim is fucking great

[@turdferguson1847]

Finally. Our fearless leader is back!

[@kingzeros3963]

Last time I was this early the second tower was still standing

[@kneetotheface]

King Zeros its still standing is the punchline

[@joshwhite5407]

Nice

[@the7thmagazine]

"I will fight a middle-aged woman" - this is what we need to hear pre-apocalypse 💎

[@brentgould958]

What a long strange journey its been. Started the quarantine with Tim Dillon and we keep listening strong

[@justinianDT]

This was the episode that got me hooked on Timmy D! The "ugh, I just wish it was like 9/11!" is such a crazy good opening punch.

[@jondoe8275]

Tim Dillion is the best

[@quantum7690]

"When is chick-fil-A gonna open back up"

[@APR944]

Tim’s outlook is so refreshing and honest. Fvcking hilarious.

[@extrasmalldoll654]

Thank you for not saying "fucking".

[@RJones-es7ur]

"Go get a car, fatty" still hits in 2023 🤣

[@yasirzainal1]

😂 He’s talking about Joe Rogan here at 13:00 .... since the pandemic, he interviewed in a row; Bert, Callen, Segura, Diaz.

[@timeherenowbe3126]

Yasir Khalil , l figured he was! Cheers! 😊

[@donaldmack2307]

Yasir Khalil for some reason these LA comedians keep right on having friends over doing pods. Tsk tsk tsk

[@juliand4442]

100% Rogan

[@1qaz722]

Synchronicities. Gnostism, self-improvement, transhumanism

[@j.m.s_3285]

Tim was just on Your Mom's House wasn't he?😆

[@MilahanPhilosophersCorner]

Tim is so right about wanting space.

[@dgregss]

He's not wrong

[@justinfuzzyhat]

911 was simpler times

[@jhart1127]

As someone who works in the medical progression in the UK aka the NHS where nothing works, the idea of kneeling before Tim with a stethoscope is a photo I really bloody want!! 📸😂

[@danielkeogh482]

Still hilarious over 2 years later. Gold

[@trentonjunginger-vm2xi]

Timeless podcast lol

[@staceyyovan8844]

Very weird listening to this episode again, seeing where we’re at 9 months later. Great show!

[@volcomwave]

Tim planning my Easter meal 🤣😂🤣😂

[@SGFTI]

9/11 was a pretty good time for me. Way better than now. I'm about to be 34, my life sucks now. Bills, deaths, my cat has terminal cancer. 9/11 everyone I loved was still alive. I still lived with my mom and only had to buy weed and video games. My cat was a cute little kitten. I could wish for nothing more than to go back and relive 9/11.

[@joshwhite5407]

Sorry for your loss brother, 32 here. Hope you’re hanging in there.

[@floydzeppland]

I was wondering who bill was at first, and why his death hit you so hard 😂

[@Buzzbuzz33]

Fake documentary about tim "helping" please

[@user-uy9sn3jz3f]

Hello Covid-19. Its me, Tim.

[@KKtheDonahem]

Don't ever stop Tim

[@guitarnutbolinuli5788]

This is the highlight of my Sunday, thanks Tim.

[@Luvarby]

This man is a treasure.

[@agoodfellow531]

Tim Dillon might be my favourite person to hear speak. Ever.

[@Z0mbie432]

came from Whitney's podcast, there's something old school as shit about these rants but with a modern informed opinion, love it

[@paulfroelich1024]

High quality, low cost podcast.

[@Highguyclassics]

On my son

[@nickcitron2369]

"Uh, i just wish this was like 9/11...... it was the fall" love you timmy, so fun!!

[@sinkorswim416]

Tom is now the floating head of reason. I Stan.

[@sukalamink3176]

“Garlic knot” has me crying

[@Relithraxas]

This is the best show on or off tv or earth.

[@ShantyIrishman]

Ben has the best job in the world.

[@spyevil666]

12:55 Tim's opinion on having guests aged like milk

[@user-xd1xf9rp5p]

Love you Tim. Keep up the good work. Hope to see you in a show someday once these crazy times end.

[@rickkroening5282]

“Hang in the dr will be in a minute...” 😂😂😂😂

[@idkwhatimdoing8707]

Keep it up Tim. Thanks for the content and being real, not counting the jokes.

[@jesse7157]

This is the only reason I'm still alive

[@PlayNiceFolks]

That intro, just a few seconds in, and I can see why. Fucking hilarious

[@antenman]

Honestly, I started listening to Tim in a very dark period in my life... He is not that funny when you are down, but once you are up in spirits he becomes one of the funniest comedians out there... His very dark, but very zeitgeist appropriate humor requires emotional strength to be fully appreciated.

[@DrLoudPacks]

He’s actually extremely funny when you’re down because he’ll remind you we aren’t as special as we pretend to be and that there are a lot of people that are dealing with much bigger things than you or me

[@morgangreen2601]

Loud Pack it depends why you are down

[@redkingoldhero38]

im pretty down but i think he's funny. maybe he's just not funny to YOU while YOU were down.

[@themunk85]

We don't need Guest's Tim, just your hot self

[@paulfroelich1024]

It's the End Times and Tim is in ketosis and broadcasting for our sakes.

[@celestynanjeri2217]

Tim dillion is slowly taking the place of my favorite comedian of all time

[@michaeljoseph2827]

I ♥️ Tim Dillon

[@TheB00tyWarrior]

I appreciate you for illuminating our ugly side, and making me laugh. Listen to your podcast as soon as it goes up, one of the few corona commentators I feel has something to say.

[@kingdiamondscream]

Just your podcasts are more than enough, thanks for the healing!

[@CraigW34v7b9]

National Treasure. Most of the planet is missing out.

[@quantum7690]

This was his darkest hour

[@roxanab.3169]

The Boomer bit always has home dying of laughter 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Walnder]

Saturday... Coffee...Tim Dillon ranting ......this my church now The Wuhan God lol

[@timeherenowbe3126]

The podcast has dropped! Boom! Yay!

[@russelljconquerslifehawkey]

Your making our life better keep it up

[@jakeskriel2134]

Live long King Dillon

[@vinnavarre4147]

Tim giving lifestyle advice.... 👌🏽

[@noneofthatmate]

3:00 Tim Dillon is a fucking delight in these putrid times

[@playea123]

"I dont think we can do a 120 day quarantine". Oh boy this aged terribly lol.

[@SMASHINGxSTUFF101]

You’re an absolute genius, Tim.