Tips to Handle Overbearing In Laws

Aired May 12, 2014 Studio 5

[@kanyanyanya123]

Am I the only one who thanks to Covid for giving me a great time away from them 🤣

[@marchellepearson935]

I'm with you on that one😂😂

[@KoolT]

Ha HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA

[@paulstewart238]

It’s been great

[@STMARTIN009]

Especially Thanksgiving

[@asraaa9506]

Noooo...i was the unlucky one...they got locked up with me in my house...entire covid ...i didn't know which was more dangerous the covid virus...or my in-laws.

[@basicinfo2022]

If your partner does not put you first but defends and prioritizes his family over his partner....then he is a son first and a husband second. You'll always be fighting for respect and feeling alone against bullies. Save your sanity and don't sign up for that hell if your partner is not on your side always. That's a controlled weak grown boy.

[@qurratulainkaleem7713]

Thats my husband.

[@FS02012]

Leave

[@FS02012]

@@qurratulainkaleem7713 then leave don't stay for a peace of d ick

[@phillyhope9266]

Don't give him any sex. Screw HIM ! IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS FAMILY MEMBERS !

[@SULTRYVAMPS]

Facts!

[@joshuataylor6087]

Don't get involved with someone if their family all lives in a town where you don't have family. Your life will become engulfed by them.

[@shannonmcderm3657]

So true!

[@spiritualgainz5874]

Been with my wife for 8 years an the biggest regret I have an I don't do regrets till now is living in the same area code as her family

[@deannachavez1148]

So true!!!!

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Joshua Taylor truth!

[@jp5419]

Soooo true. Happened to me and I felt like I was getting brainwashed. Was so scary. Made me physically sick.

[@asiangirlmob]

You don’t let people who are unsuccessful in marriage or live like roommates control your marriage

[@totalhealthtrip]

Doreen Augsburger-Lane thank YOU!!!

[@Tastycasita]

Preach 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼😂

[@hbkas3549]

how can you stop that tho? I can't keep fighting with a demanding person all the time.

[@layshantel]

@@hbkas3549 same

[@grantwilson3864]

That’s so my in law’s

[@imthefunmom7220]

I have 3 sons! I’m raising somebody’s father and husband. Once they choose a wife and have kids, they will be his first priority. Never will I expect any of my sons to choose me or their dad before their wives and kids. Once they marry, they are no longer my baby but a man! Quit raising man-babies. Let your kids dictate their lives when they become adults. Of course I’d like to be a part of their lives but within reason and boundaries!!! Meanwhile, I’d rather be traveling the world with my hubby enjoying what little time we have left on earth than worried about what any of my sons are doing with their partners

[@phillyhope9266]

Yes, we are a good breed.

[@intuitive_duck]

THIS!!! Truly my goals in life! I'm pregnant & having issues with an in law at the moment. My husband is good but his mother doesn't understand boundaries enough. I feel suffocated. The idea of traveling with my husband in retirement sounds exactly like what we want. So relaxing & freeing. 😊

[@teresagreen81]

Can you have a talk will the my MIL? Lol

[@LisaLisaCJ]

Lol you are saying this now. Wait until the holidays and they go to his wife’s family instead. The real you will come out. I’ve seen so many well meaning women until their son gets married and he gravitates to her family. Then the monster in law comes out.

[@donnawheeler2195]

My in-laws did not respect any boundaries, so we pulled back. The gossip made us the bad guys, but we didn’t bend or break. We love from a distance. My hubby deals with his family and I deal with mine.

[@BryantBaudelaire]

Rule number 1 with dealing with in - laws: Set Boundaries. Follow through with those boundaries. Remember that you are a team. My “monster - in - law” has high anxiety and tries to inject her views in our marriage. She called me controlling and I had to tell my spouse that that is a strategy for her to try and keep that control over you. I had to set boundaries. The more she injects her opinion the more you have to remember that WE are a team and it’s your responsibility to set boundaries. When people get married, the bond they have with there parents should break and YOU become one with your spouse.

[@intuitive_duck]

Needed to hear this today. Thank you.

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Exactly!

[@MsSassydiva12]

Facts

[@brg2743]

The bond should never break. However, the spouse now comes first. The Bible says so. Let them live their lives for Pete's sake.

[@jamesoshea494]

funny you say that. My mother in law said I'm controlling, yet she is the controlling one. She tells her daughter how to live their lives. I'm guessing your MIL is a narcissist?

[@sunrays_001]

I ban my in laws from my house and I started to feel better and I'm starting to feel happy. My relationship with my husband is more open and I get equal control now in my household.

[@carsformula7749]

Sunrays _001 👏

[@michaeljackson7732]

i had to do the same thing

[@shanay6956]

Sunrays _001 yes that’s the best way to go!

[@bhuvanamani9151]

Thats the start of a life .

[@brandi5730]

I wish I could do that unfortunately we rent from them which is toxic from hell

[@nicolebutter9395]

Grown ups really need to build new lives away from their old families. When you marry someone its times to build your own legacies and generations. You can show respect to your family but setting boundaries starts at day 1.

[@mikel917]

Heck yeah

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Amen.

[@STMARTIN009]

Or just learn to not say yes to everything.

[@MrsMer]

does he not know that people are truly out there to hurt you? I fight. game on.

[@mikel917]

Unfortunately some people are. And some of them happen to be inlaws.

[@c.b.jersey7304]

@@mikel917 True and I find that very sad.

[@cynthiamarquez3370]

The wife comes before the mother. Husbands need this advice.

[@chucksl21]

That's biblical too. But people dont wanna hear that.

[@STMARTIN009]

So do some wives.

[@gillersgillers6769]

Ban the MIL from the house.

[@rexgamewell]

I stay away from them on all levels.

[@shanay6956]

Gillers Gillers Unfortunately I live with mine I can’t wait to get away from her

[@bhuvanamani9151]

😝😝

[@bhuvanamani9151]

Max you can do is escape as none of your rules will hold good for long

[@JesusSaves2222]

Glad I live 9 hours away from them 😂

[@kbee271]

WE ALL GREW UP AND HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE BEFORE MEETING OUR IN-LAWS ! YOU CAN STILL HAVE A GOOD LIFE WITHOUT THEIR LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE ! REPEAT THIS TO YOURSELF !!!!

[@ibyawesome1232]

So true

[@bhuvanamani9151]

Great mantra😅

[@Priyankafoody]

True

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

I smiled so much at this

[@STMARTIN009]

Preach!

[@20twelvevolution]

Christmas this year, I already told my in laws that we are going to florida to visit my family next year. Thank god! Can't stand em.

[@crissycrochets]

Yup my mother in law ruined our first Christmas with our first born and it was our first Christmas as a married couple. Shame on her!

[@indym375]

Ohhh that was funny Al man 😆

[@anonymousanon2993]

You're so lucky! My mans family Christmas are so draining but I'm dragged along each year..🙄 How do you get out of it? What's your advice?

[@susanxjx]

my goodness...good to know i am not ALONE

[@25HIDAYA]

Same here.

[@TheRealestRT]

I think it’s important to stand your ground in your marriage and don’t bend when it comes to controlling in laws if you give them an inch they will take a mile! The Bible says a man should leave his father and cleave to his wife! Anything that goes against the word of God is rebellion and as the sin of witchcraft! Great Topic👍🏾

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Amen. I don't understand why inlaws think they should be priority and you shouldn't be. I don't understand why they get bent out of shape about that. That is life you grow up and you move on and make another family and they then become first and your priority.

[@TheRealestRT]

c.b. jersey Absolutely! But a lot of times these in-laws are very controlling and just want to control everybody and everything around them! God gives of free will to make our own choices so that’s proof we are not to be controlled by anyone!

[@BeautifulDelights951]

I totally agree. But what if in certain cultures its the norm for the women to go and live with her husband and his parents and the family??? It's completely opposite to what the bible says. Thus more stressful and anxiety filled for many women living like this.

[@BeautifulDelights951]

@Beautiful World I pray for you and your husband to have a restored marriage and that he leave his father and mother and cleave to you his wife, spirituality, emotionally and physically. For him to be the husband and father that he created him to be for you and your children putting you and them first always. In Jesus name Amen. Please pray the same for me too. God bless you.

[@BeautifulDelights951]

@Beautiful World Amen.

[@divyashanker4104]

What a load of crap. You cant force love it has to come naturally and mutually. There is no point in changing yourself in order to accomodate others difficult behaviour. Your only inviting more problems into your marraige when they see your love towards them as weakness and submissiveness. That leads to them being more forceful and disrespecting boundaries. Playing the offence is a miserable life always having to counteract your inlaws before they make the first move. Its not dodgeball! To lead a peaceful happy life is to just focus on your spouse and less attention to the unlaws. Go to him for everything that hurts you allow him to sympathize with your feelings.

[@bhuvanamani9151]

Divya Shanker but not always i will have an empathetic partner or a person who can stand for u against his own ppl! But I do agree not to change yourself just to be accepted

[@LisaLisaCJ]

I just want to say I’m glad I’m now single. The next time I marry if I choose to his mother must be deceased

[@rftrujillo8153]

I just ignore the shit out of them, it works for me. I'll say hi and chick chat for like a minute but then im on netflix just as quick lol.

[@angelaramirez4144]

My mother in law ripped my Halloween decorations out of the front yard because they are "evil." The decorations are plastic. The only evil I see is in her heart. She watched me and my son put them up for hours in the rain. She waited until we were gone and went around our yard to rip them all out and put them in a pile. She also walks around in her underwear like it's normal so I asked her to not do it in front of my children. So, she spitefully took them off and started walking around nude from the waist down. My husband says nothing. He feels nothing about it and acts like I have emotional problems for getting mad.

[@olivianichole288]

Dang, honestly you should physically throw her out of your house. Seriously I would.

[@Veegan4theanimals]

Her mind isn't right. She is probably unhappy and want the same for everyone.

[@phillyhope9266]

Next time, VIDEO RECORD, and call the police....i don't like Halloween, but it's your YARD.

[@MarlboroughBlenheim1]

She sounds neurotically deranged

[@intuitive_duck]

I'm sorry, even if it was my own mother I'd be throwing her ass out ASAP. I hope it's gotten better for you now.

[@inyolandasworld]

I don’t understand how he’s saying that you should look at them with love and not be a outsider because they will look at you as competition but then he’s also saying don’t go to Christmas and go on vacation lol that’s absolutely putting yourself in a outsider role.

[@lorileo4319]

We moved 1,000 miles away! It didn't solve all the problems, but it sure helped!

[@kcx2678]

Yeah. There’s Fb messenger, SMS, and phone calls. Those can be annoying as well.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

Oh dear i always planned to move abroad its a dream and my partner as well . Got my mother in Law trying to follow us as she want to move abroad as well.... HEEEEELP

[@SizShi]

My inlaws triggered our divorce. Their interference was intolerable and caused such an irreparable rift in the marriage.

[@crissycrochets]

Same here my husband and I are in marriage counseling because of them. We have have two children under 2 we do not want our children growing up in a broken home where there’s nothing but fighting over nonsense and disrespectful behavior.

[@kbee271]

GET BACK TO YOUR HUSBAND ASAP !! The worst mistake that you can make is get divorced because of them !! I went through so much and I was SO CLOSE to letting the love of my life go !! Here is what I did: I thought that they are getting old and going to die anyway I took the situation from my husband’s perspective “he loves them” like we love our parents.. I tried to share the kindness I give to my husband to them I ignored my bitchy mother in law at all encounters.. IGNORE I took Olly “ Goodbye Stress” vitamins which surprisingly worked I started having so much fun with my husband EXTRA fun and laughter when they are around (they hate seeing you happy)☺️ I changed my hair so often, I took care of myself, brought stress relief tea’s, I watched Ellen coz she makes me happy lol, I went shopping JUST for myself 🤣 I asked my husband to serve the dinner when they were around because I didn’t want my nails to break I kept on referring to her as a person I never called her name “ would You want some creamer for your coffee? It is officially my time to shine and I want you ladies to shine too because I’ve been there and don’t let no damn motherfucker take it away from you .. p.s : We were so happy before meeting our in-laws, we can still make it without their love & respect 😌😌

[@jamiereneeanderson989]

What did your husband do when his parents abused you? I was on same boat, and my husband would put me and and do nothing for 9 ears. It took a breakdown to get to open his eyes to agree with NO CONTACT.

[@layshantel]

@@kbee271 I'm in a somewhat similar situation. My fiance and I have been together for about half of my life. I wanted so badly to be accepted by his mother and family that I blindly allowed for them to manipulate me to getting things that they wanted and needed. BUT whenever I needed anything (ex: my fiance went to jail b/c we didn't have) his mother/family is never there! It's frustrating and I expressed my frustrations with him about his family and all he could say was "it's my family." At that point I knew I would have to cut ties and set boundaries because it was hurting our relationship

[@lovelylight444]

We moved away from them and went no contact. That was the only way to save our relationship

[@lateishaedwards570]

I totally disagree. You cannot reason with abusive ppl. I went no contact with my mil and it was the best thing I have ever done. My inlaws are extremely abusive people and my husband suffered mental emotional and physical abuse from them and he was so used to there behavior he looked at me as the problem. I stood my ground and never let them cross my boundaries. They tried to make me the family scapegoat lol that was a fail lol I'm a scorpio and I live in darkness so if you come for me you better be ready lol. I limit my son's interaction with them due to there toxic environment. Good thing my husband and I live 4 hours away. My husband still needs to learn how to protect himself against them that's why I don't feel comfortable with my son around them. He suffered so much abuse from them that I had to tell him over a 2 year period that that's not normal people don't treat ppl that way. Smh. I just stay away from those weirdos and I appreciate my family so much

[@RJN8580]

One year later; what’s the relationship like? I mean that is your husband family and you did meet them before marrying(I hope)?

[@lateishaedwards570]

@@RJN8580 Well I did meet them before but they were all putting on an act. My husband aswell. He turned out to be a narcissist. He was actually diagnosed as a sociopath after being in rehab 3 times in one year with extremely abusive behavior towards and the kids while showing no remorse. His family would tell him I'm the problem. I walked away over a year ago and it was the best decision of my life. I have full custody of our son together. I would just tell everyone that if the family is toxic and abusive so is your mate. They will put on an act but the mask always falls off. I hope this was helpful.

[@RJN8580]

@@lateishaedwards570 Very helpful; I’m a only child and just got married 6 years ago. My mom who is widowed and my wife met the first time before we got married and I guess the questions she asked her she was offended. So their relationship hasn’t been great. I do defend her when my mom talk about her not cooking enough or doing what a wife should do; a 74 year old woman who is head strong lol and an equally strong head strong don’t mix. OAN: glad you’re okay

[@lateishaedwards570]

@@RJN8580 well I think as long as your wife knows your on her side that's great and you still love your mom. You mother comes from a different time period and thats okay as long as you keep them civil and maintain a healthy relationship with your mother and your wife your doing a good job.

[@newlearner5560]

None of these works if your in laws live in your house and your spouse is scared of his own mother and try to avoid her at all cost.

[@PacificExpressions]

Son husband alert 🚨

[@brg2743]

Boundaries include living in your own home without parents.

[@brg2743]

As long as in laws are not interfering in personal lives a lot of things can be overlooked or given the benefit of the doubt. Always, have them call before just showing up at your house. They need to respect your boundaries. Do holidays however you want. A mature in law helps when needed, and they do NOT try to control you. No one owns another human being...not even their own kids. They are loaned to us by God.

[@thegreypath1777]

Move out.

[@donnagibson9613]

Wish I had someone to talk to who genuinely knows how to cope with this problem

[@michaeljackson7732]

Set Boundaries in your relationship/marriage not just with In laws but with everybody

[@kraftthisile9113]

For real. My husband best 'friend' and his sister are the biggest wedges I've ever met.

[@chrissychris44]

my mother in-law is a monster and a liar. she will say bad things about me behind my back to my husband and he doesnt stand up for me as he should. one time when i complained about her to him he told me i should talk to her my self and said "when you are gone she will always be here with me". we live on the same building and she use to come as she likes until i started locking my door and giving her that face. i dont exchange words with her and i pretend as if she is invisible. since that she has been calm

[@katlondon9618]

I was hopeful that this would help but if your in laws hate you and no matter what you do they won't accept you in their lives then what can you do. And I don't agree you have to love them. People who hate you do not respond to you loving them.

[@valigashi4236]

Kat London you are right .Im in the same position

[@adaj472]

I think he means love them as in have a place for them in your heart out of respect for your spouse. Like compassion. But not, “ you have to be ok with them in your lives”.

[@lizhughes7199]

For Ada Raven: In a case with highly toxic and abusive people, compassion doesn’t work. Forgiveness especially will never work. To an abuser these things signal weakness and telegraph the request “please may I have some more (mistreatment).” Even Buddhists who hold to compassion as a major tenet will quote you the phrase “you can’t sleep beside a mad dog.”

[@rehemabanks5002]

They is so true I try this with one of my in laws and the more I gave love the more she thought it was opportunity to hurt and destroy our home even though we have a child.

[@rachelcorinnaford9190]

Kat London yup. my mil is the most judgemental, cold hearted person ive ever known. i do things for her, we give her money, let the grandkids see her, but still does everything in her power to make me look like scum of the earth right in front of me and my children ! i am learning to bite my tongue amd just let her make herself look stupid. because if i show any type of emotion, she feeds off of that crap. so its living hell for me, but i know that deep down its 100 times worse for her because she knows for a fact, im not going anywhere lol

[@viciouslycalm]

I've fought my entire life for my freedom, only to have someone come along and try to claim it; all the while trying to hold me hostage by using my own fiance as a human shield. (Sigh)... I need help.

[@enchanted186]

MOGAR22 I know exactly what you are going through

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Keyden T so do I unfortunately.😩

[@Me-wk9eo]

I always tell my husband that as a child I couldn't wait to grow up and become an adult bc I hated being controlled all the time. Now I'm an adult and it's my turn to have control over my own life. I told him his controlling mother can't control me, I will leave him, no matter what. He understands I refuse to allow a grumpy bitter old lady (his mom) control me, it's non-negotiable and I will do everything in my power to protect myself and my space. I was up front with him about this from the minute I noticed she lacked boundaries and everything had to be her way. He knows I am not afraid to leave and destroy everything to have control over my own life.

[@lillygayton8685]

I married my Husband, always watched my own kids in my own house and mind my own business. That’s what mature adults do.I feel sorry for the miserable, controlling busybodies.They literally have no life, outside making others miserable.

[@indym375]

Its your spouse fault for venting or TALKING about you to them being messy stabbing you in the back with the knife of gossip and one sided story and opinions

[@gigibanks5258]

My husband’s mom and sisters are horrible. They are manipulative , disrespectful, and controlling.

[@ray83baby]

Easier said than done...

[@kellymacdonald-mason6236]

Sometimes they are out to harm and hurt you or your relationship. If your spouse isn't on your side you are dead in the water. My spouse knew his family was toxic, once he had "backup" (i.e. me) he could finally cut the ties. No contact has been very freeing.

[@laurapiacentini9431]

Kelly MacDonald-Mason sometimes yes.

[@kellymacdonald-mason6236]

She made it very clear once again this year when she texted him (he never responds) an Easter greeting which ended: "So sad you had to throw your mom dad and sister out of your life so you can have a wife." (grammar mistakes and hers)

[@sherriking1203]

I just watched a great You Tube video. Perhaps he can share with it with his family, after you view it as a couple. It is entitled "Priorities in Marriage & Dealing With In Laws by Gene Wagstaff." Hopefully it will help both sides.

[@rehemabanks5002]

How did you get to the point ? I'm going through the same

[@glorifacts]

Just get ready to be thrown out by own in laws when your children grow up. Sure, you'll just reap what you sowed. The best way is to figure a way to communicate and relate with them. Your spouse's parents cannot be ignored.

[@VlogsofCSyper]

Because of my in laws it is a constant battle between my husband about our in laws as if it’s a competition. And it’s taking a huge toll on our marriage. To the point where we both have even questioned even bringing a second child to the world....

[@trexteena]

Vlogs of C.Syper I have 3 children. My mother in law only turned into a problem when I got pregnant with our first, and it's been worse every child. Don't have that second child...

[@saraleah4930]

I agree

[@crissycrochets]

EIO Kawaii Clay that’s exactly what happened to me

[@trexteena]

Crissy Gray I'm so sorry that it happened to you too. 😢

[@cindytio1263]

That is what exactly happened to me..

[@viciouslycalm]

I'm at the end of my rope with my "possible" future in-laws. I love my Fiance, but we're not on the same page and might never be.

[@hanadul83]

MOGAR22 how's it going?

[@laurapiacentini9431]

MOGAR22 don't marry unless your on the same page otherwise it will stick

[@katlondon9618]

MOGAR22 try to move to a different area and keep them at a distance.

[@rehemabanks5002]

I Feel the same way with one of my inlaws

[@trexteena]

Been married 10 years, and wish I never did. Mother in law is just so overbearing. Having children makes it so much worse. I wish I'd run for the hills. You should too. I wish every day I'd stayed single...

[@beautifullyblessed9375]

I want to start my own Holidays traditions with my family. I don’t want to take on my husband’s family holidays traditions. Some feelings will be hurt, but oh well.

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

I hate my mil she's a covert narcasisst. Always victimizing herself, passive aggressive, pits people against each other, unsolicited advice and wants total control and wants everything to revolve around their convenience. She's not funny abs hard to conversate with also dismissive and never acknowledges her wrong doing, also ignores any conflict sweeps it under t the rug, expects us to be like them and constantly work and keep busy . According to her you should never take down time , even if your busying yourself with menial things that aren't actually necessary to do.

[@graylobo133]

Get out of it. Is rough but is better for your health.

[@mikel917]

Eh...who told this guy that you have to love your inlaws as much as your spouse loves them? Baloney. If I do that then my inlaws would continue barging in every day without notice. After about 30 years of this I finally had to start locking the door and putting my foot down. For. My. Own. Sanity.

[@mikel917]

@@TallMama321 Thank you for your encouragement. if you're still young I highly recommend to deal with this issue before you and your spouse have kids. It could set you up for a lot of heartache. Some inlaws want to be number 1 in their married children's lives. And if they want that and they live close by, it will most likely happen. It's about family power dynamics. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Now I know what 'they' meant.

[@kcx2678]

Never give in to your in-laws!!

[@indym375]

That's why I say be mindful who u marry cause if your spouse let's his family talk bad about you 🏃 from that marriage cause they Got it from your spouse cause that's what he does talk bad about you to them

[@indym375]

Again like i said before its your spouse fault for betraying your trust and them being immature and not knowing how to resolve conflict without involving their family just be mindful who you give your heart to cause Some will break it and pretend that you caused it

[@mpaxton8991]

I just turned 57 and my Mil reprimanded me loudly at the table in the beginning of Christmas dinner. I left the hospital Christmas morming, and went to her house feeling like hell but knew she went to a lot of trouble. I kinda snapped at my husband because I was trying to squeeze in behind the damn table without falling off the end if the bench and trying to keep my shelf out of my dinner plate, when my husband kept saying take my hat, take my hat. Put it over there...." I was already stressed and very woozy on meds and i said "why dont you leave the damn thing in the car?" Well MIL stopped forcing food on everyone long enough to say, "Don't talk to my son that way in my house!" She said it loudly, she said it to involve everyone at the table including my own son and his fiance, and she said it twice. " My husband said that really upset him and he started to lay into her but I kept my mouth shut and so did he. That will be the last Christmas dinner that will be forced on us again, and the last straw. We both agreed she was overreacting.

[@rehemabanks5002]

M Paxton omg how did it get to that point and how long has it been like that?

[@mpaxton8991]

Rehema Banks She has been abusive and very nasty to me for a couple of weeks before this. I had to previously tell her that there are certain things decent married people do not discuss with others. She was being intrusive and vulgar .

[@favouritemusic8959]

My old mil passed away. YIPPEE

[@alvarezgamers]

I would of got up a left.

[@fantasybouthour6679]

One thing that drives me crazy is the mentality of this is the way my parents did it, so this is the way we should do it.

[@SnookOnTheFly]

Marriage counselor says my wife and father in law are in an enmeshed relationship with narcissistic tendencies. I go to counseling alone now and I’ve learned I’m going to counseling to learn how to handle people that should be in counseling. They don’t think they are “jacked up” at all. They are an emotional wreck. Going against anything is bad news for me. The counselor says they bully me. I’m not trying to break them apart. I’m just asking the relationship be placed in its proper priority within our marriage and a little balance. She’s so busy being everything for him that she has no ability to be anything with me.

[@michaelking4578]

If your in laws are trying to control you just don't ever answer any questions they have for you. I just say things like, "hmmmm....I'm going to go to the bathroom....be right back". 3 minutes late the subject has changed.

[@deepikapatankar5423]

Hi I m from india...and was going through extraordinary manipulation...Thanks to ur advises i m feeling very much light...tank u so much...

[@sheedshaad1283]

Only good point he made was dont follow or get involved with the person who has the most issues. I agree. Minimize your interaction with such people. The rest of the advice he was giving I disagree especially you must love them as much your spouse. F#ck that. I'm not dying for their love.

[@michaelking4578]

Set boundaries. When they cross the boundary throw food at them.

[@divinegirl5670]

Michael King 🤣

[@angelpilot9081]

You're so silly 🤣🤣

[@imachavel]

Something I had to deal with recently is an issue I had holding in feelings about in law family issues. I didn't really recently realise I was holding things in because I vent about it pretty often. When I talked to someone about it the story went like "well do you talk to your family about it?" and I was like "no". I finally did talk to my dad about this issue and of course he has no real advice but he says "I see where you are coming from." I have a family member and I sort of have strong regrets about him and I sort of feel he treats my family member he treats her like shit. The main reason I feel the discussion never goes too far is the conversation never goes far in the direction beyond "well I don't have tons of evidence to support this. It's more my point of view of how I see her react. It looks really bad. He appears very nice to her but anyone who constantly reacts in such a way must have something going on deeper. I've thought this for years. It keeps me up at night sometimes and I sometimes have real regrets about meeting him. I feel it's affected my life to see someone so hurt all the time and I never know how to express it. Do I tell her? Certainly not. I've said many things about how her depression has worried me but I rarely bring this up. I don't know how she'd react to it." The main bit of feedback I've been getting a return on lately is "perhaps you can't intervene. Perhaps it's best not to get involved. Perhaps you are even wrong and he doesn't treat her badly. Of course you can't like to yourself. You can't invalidate your feelings and if you feel constantly worried and full of constant anxiety about an issue you need to express it wether it's to her or not but to someone who understands your concern. Wether they can help or not you need to say how you feel otherwise it's not going to go away. Also changing your perception is not something you can force yourself to do." I just thought I'd share this. Watching domestic issues is very tough. I lately have felt as though I swung this in my direction. My anger and conflict about holding in these feelings caused me to create an issue of domestic conflict between me and the person. I soon did not want to become part of what I myself so regret and create an issue even worst then the one I'm so concerned about. I also expressed how much I love the family member I'm concerned over but that it's also not my fault if she doesn't seek help for the issue she has wether it's her fault or not. Wether she is really being abused or not it is her job to get help for what she is upset over. Life is not easy and very often quite a few obstacles which you have no control over will present themself. I have been holding in how concerned I am over this possible domestic abuse she is receiving for awhile and realised wether my concerns are validated or not I need to express them in a healthy manner and not just bottle them up and get more upset over them. Did I say enough? I feel I did alright, at this point at least I'm handling it better.

[@ericalopez3323]

Yes definitely going out of town for Xmas lmao 😂

[@ISAE81657]

This video...saved my life.

[@AC-os1ou]

We’re building our house and we have to live in their guesthouse for the time being which is inside their house but the relationship with my MIL has become wayyyy overbearing and now I cannot be over there so I come back to my parents house instead but now she’s the one that helps my partner with the things and I want to show up for him and be his partner but i cannot be there with her there anymore. It’s a full circle and I seriously don’t know how to set boundaries without an issue. We scheduled therapy a month from today and it has become way overbearing on my mental health.

[@kenshinhimura2322]

I have a furnace who was never taught to stand up for himself. So when we’re buying car insurance. He told me he had to ask his dad about it. Like. I’m gonna marry him. But I’m definitely starting waves by making him do shit his dad won’t be happy about. Next step is to get his dad off his bank accounts.

[@graylobo133]

Do not put up with any shit your in laws give you. and if disrespected by them, and spouse does not STAND up for you, start thinking on an exit strategy.

[@tabimetiviernance5090]

But what do u do if your mother in law feels so threatened using comments such as “you took my son” and THaN is physically harmful to u while you are 9 mths pregnant with their grand daughter. Attacking u as people try to pull her off of u. Now what??

[@hillssasha9962]

Hmm

[@logicalogisch371]

Tabi Metivier'Nance tell her if she was so saddened when SHE TOOK a SON too make a son

[@nicolebutter9395]

Run lol

[@shanay6956]

My MIL is way too controlling trying to change me and is always calling shots smh I started throwing it back at her because I got tired of it now they look at me like I’m a problem

[@3931aaron]

It's a constant tug of war. Our premarital counselor told us to never let the in-laws cause fights within our marriage. Unfortunately it happens quite often. I try to be as nice as I can, I've tried, and tried, but I just can't stand em. I go with my gut. When I'm in their presence, I can cut the tension with a knife. There's always an elephant in the room.

[@calkonsLife]

A man set up a ton of his own home. My parent know not to mess with my marriage or my kid. My house my rule 😌

[@SunshineHnubCi]

Anymore date nights? I'm interested in learning

[@bhuvanamani9151]

Always I felt like I was made to feel as though I only hadmy hubby to save myself from their torments but Is it okay to rely on your hubby so much??? Now I have learnt to stand up for myself and I just will not do something which I am not up for.

[@Samantha-gm8kv]

Yeah people can say we 'rip' them away but that's life. Who in their right minds would think the partner is the one to blame for the conflict when part of seeing your kid grow up is them creating a life with someone else. Just back off. Boundaries is key. Nobody ever said they can't have a relationship still. Nobody can rake the bond u have with your parents away from you. That's just bat crazy, but healthy boundaries are still important.

[@c.b.jersey7304]

Amen. I think its crazy to expect your loved one to not find a partner and then have a life with them and make them priority. Nobody's trying to take them away or saying they can't see and spend time with them but they should be able to have their own separate life without interference from his family of origin or anyone else.

[@africanqueen5292]

@@c.b.jersey7304 my Fiancé family says I’m already showing my bad side because I don’t want to live with them after marriage

[@carsformula7749]

Thank you for this video. Very helpful 💗😬

[@rehemabanks5002]

This is true to a point, my mil told me this is her family and I'm ruining it. Her and another family member in her home gang up on me in her home while my baby was there. My fiancé said nothing. My fiancé has even admitted she said he should take me to court for my daughter and had the nerve to call me decisive. She's more than been decisive in trying to break up my daughters family.

[@rehemabanks5002]

The thing that pisses me off the most I allow this lady in my room while giving birth, gave her a key to my place and would always cook a lot so I can give her some food

[@angelpilot9081]

God is your vindicator. Kill them with kindness.

[@floorpeeters5030]

This was so so helpful!!!

[@chetu4ever]

I am living together with my mother-in-law, and she wants control in everything what I say to him my words, what I ask him to do the task. This is what I haven't grown with, what to do if I can't skip her as day in day out I have to handle her more than my husband as I spend more time home with her with no choice

[@OttoRain_95]

I'm definitely the most depressed and anxious and can confirm I should NOT be in charge of activities unless everyone wants to stay home, watch a movie, and order pizza 😂 (This is just my experience with mental health, others with these conditions may enjoy going out and doing fun group activities)

[@Angela-vy5ok]

If your future in laws cause you to roll your eyes now… reconsider marrying into the family. If you even suspect that they may cause you grief of any kind… reconsider… especially if your parents have passed away or not around you. You end up marrying the whole family!

[@veronicaachtnich7274]

Love the inlaws so much as my husband loves them?!!! This is way to much.

[@laurapiacentini9431]

This guy is good

[@user-kh7ef4ho4d]

Lead and influence if you’re the strongest relationally

[@ajohonly3721]

How do you get on the same page with Mama’s boy ?

[@evelynconstance2993]

Ajoh Wong fr... I need this answer too 😩 ftm expecting soon and now his mom is overly involved, they work together 5 days a week for 10 hours. And now I’m being told everything that I’m doing wrong. I never thought anything was wrong with a mama’s boy until now..

[@ing-yam-san]

What if the in-laws cross the line with stalking and harassment and tampering with my and husbands home? Yes hard one!!

[@prayalways]

This was 💯💯💯

[@kaydiangel33]

this is Amazing advice! I feel so much better after watching this, so glad I saw this vid. ♡

[@lilac624]

You can't deal narcissists...Narcissists should be traced.

[@amieaja4559]

After being patient for a while and finally i declare to fight againts my MIL...shes a monster

[@TallMama321]

What changed?

[@victoriahigginbotham4508]

Me and my husband live with his parents in there house but I can't stand living with his parents they think it's my husbands responsibility to take care of them and there house cleaning they depend on him way to much for everything and he chooses to put himself thought the stress that they put him thought every day and I'm sick of it but if I moved out of there house my husband will choose to stay with his parents and divorce me instead of moving out with me even though I love my husband I don't want to wast my life married to a boy that refuses to grow up so to speak

[@TheDollhouse95]

You should sit down with him and have a deep conversation about your marriage. Tell him your thoughts, your feelings, and what your seeing. What your willing and not willing to put up with. Because in the long run they will ruin your marriage if their being intrusive and disrespectful. The way you see your husband will change because of the problems that are rising, if something is not done. I hope everything works out for you.

[@jamiereneeanderson989]

5:30 Great Advice

[@subninja8069]

I don't have a problem with my parents in laws its the sister in law that pissed me off

[@TheMsChrisie]

For me it's the brother in law. Always at our house! So frustrating.

[@takeabreakwithnature6480]

Same here! Very arrogant and she moved in with us. We used to be happy as a couple. Not after that toxic person entered into our house. She showed up unannounced one day after a fight with her parents and started living with us. She disrespected me and my privacy from day 1. Such a weirdo!

[@dabblesmith5755]

I have a truly terrible mother in law, my wife's mom is an overweight greedy, selfish narcissist, additionally my wife does not care to confront the problems... We've lived with her for almost 10 years. All my mom in law EVER does is talk about how great she is and is always waiting for her turn to talk if anyone has anything to say...

[@thegreypath1777]

Move out.

[@linab525]

Ahaha, love your abuser)) very unprofessional

[@maxbien2382]

TIME TO LEARN TO GROW UP AND WAKE UP YOUR MOMMY WILL NOT BE WITH YOU AS LONG THINK WAKE UP GE REAL GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR

[@blitzkrieg6872]

Mother-in-laws are a scourge to our planet.

[@nicolii7321]

It's hard because my husband is the one who follows the lead of his mother who indeed has no relationship skills cos he's rightfully scared of her like most ppl. I have to try really hard to take leadership. That's why she hates me. My husband's brother moved interstate which is what we should have done.

[@thegreypath1777]

You can still move.

[@nicolii7321]

Yeah, if my husband agreed. But surprisingly things are better now. I've found her weaknesses and have discovered how to deflect her easily and peacefully.

[@Keylanb]

Why does this feel like an onion network skit

[@jessical4403]

aaaannd if they are wanting to physically harm you?? what then?

[@hillaryb9304]

Call the police and leave that relationship and his crazy family in the past

[@logicalogisch371]

Jessica Larkin punch them in the face or grab something and beat them up, no soul should gang up on u cauze of ur husbands choice, tel them to fuck the hell off and u should tell ur husband the same thing if he cant find a solution

[@BriLoveMusic]

Yes girl, you can always report them. They're your man's parents but they are not excused to act crazy by harming you.

[@johnnelson7192]

Men are supposed to set the tone, women are create the atmosphere

[@michaelking4578]

I consider my in laws my other parents now.

[@hani99123]

I’m single but felt the need to read and watch videos about in laws 😂 I don’t need to but it’s an interesting topic to know about

[@kanjagkollaeller]

1 don't follow the most relationally challenged person 2 get on same page as your spouse 3 approach from love not fear 4 be OK w/ the relationship being just that, okey

[@divinekasandra]

My mother in law said my unborn child is going to be a looser baby...

[@faithfullywatching8746]

kaysoft marie I would’ve told her it’s better than being a looser adult, he still has hope for change unlike you! How rude your baby is a blessing fr

[@divinekasandra]

@@faithfullywatching8746 thank you so much, I was really speechless.. But, yes my baby is a blessing.

[@BriLoveMusic]

@@divinekasandra I've learned that a lot of things my mil tells me comes from a place of insecurity. For example, she never took her kids to the Dr because she couldnt afford to and one of her kids was born in a tub while the electricity was cut off. But now she tries to overcompensate by making me feel like I don't take care of my husband. I understand where her guilt comes from. Just remember their harsh words usually come from a place of hurt so don't take it to heart. Your child is precious and safe with you. God has beautiful plans for your family and that sweet baby. Don't let anyone's insecurities from the past hurt your future. I send love from DC! 💕😊

[@divinekasandra]

@@BriLoveMusic so meant to reply earlier, thank you so much. I totally understand. But with all that ish shes put me through and all the rude things shes say to and about me, it was kind of hard to just let it go! I do plan on making real peace w her one of these days. Its toxic to keep grudges and not move on. There's more important things to worry about. And you are absolutely right, God does have a plan! May God bless you!

[@angelpilot9081]

Your baby is a blessing and you need to keep a distance from her. She's clearly a wicked person to say such a thing about an innocent unborn baby.

[@sakinalatrice4414]

I can't love a racist!!

[@Kingdom444corporation]

It’s my mother I law🤦🏾‍♂️

[@attackstory9023]

He might have something to say... but hell.. she needs to let him talk please.

[@twopoleclip]

My mother in-law is the most awesome person in the world. My family wellllll.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

Sometimes you just have to get rachet and cuss them the fuck out😎

[@nisrinebeauty6983]

tf am I doing here I don't even have a boyfriend let alone 'in law'...

[@FS02012]

Don't these women have their own mother? Omg i would tell my mom everything and get her to tell the mother on law to back off

[@nataliaduartelafuente245]

No :(