To Narcissists, Lying Is A Necessity

[@JR-ej9up]

Oh Yes. They Lie and then Lie that they're lying.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

They are the best actors

[@duromusabc]

They’re con artists

[@jyes23.]

You made me giggle. TY

[@jyes23.]

@@Chris-dw7gq count me in

[@Bawkr]

Mines so covert she won't even say the word lie out loud. She freezes if I ever say it.

[@sifusubtitles]

They live a lie and rage if you don’t play along. Pitiful creatures.

[@ambremomo]

Yep!

[@mj-rg9kp]

More like monsters

[@nv_chino]

Dumb. I uhhhhh got my own life to play here, my bad! xD I CBF to go through some shit like this with people like this.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Lying is a necessity because their whole life is a LIE!!

[@shannontennyson8971]

..they lie, and they claim to be the most genuine and loyal person on earth

[@nv_chino]

Nothing about them is real!

[@antonnettesamalca9303]

Absolutely 💯 true

[@sandrathomas2893]

They lie even when the truth would better serve them 🤔

[@noneyourbusiness7311]

Exactly.. my NM lies about the stooopidest things!! I'm like .. why lie about THAT??? ITS INSANE!!! LITERALLY!!

[@Lemana28021989]

My ex lied about his height. He's 1,79m tops and always stated, he's 185cm, if not wvem 187 and I was statt flabbergasted by this statement as it clearly wasn't true

[@michaelgoldberg7403]

It's about power and control. Narcs are like domestic violence suspects you're not in an intimate relationship with, but you are...

[@alienfrommarss]

THIS.

[@ambremomo]

THIS!!!!!!!

[@teresadvorak6145]

They lie to people about you when you go no contact, then they pretend they are the victim. Trying at all angles to destroy you & make you look horrible to others😮😢😮

[@slanjbo]

This is very true. Triangulation for advantage while you stick around, and no contact. Someone else messages me saying “I got contacted…” or I get a phone call from a different number

[@tbunnyshy1]

Lying gets them what they desperately need (admiration, feeling of superiority, material things, “gotcha” moments, etc.). They keep their various lying masks on real tight. It manipulates situations so we love, pity, surrender to, react in any way, etc. When we stop “believing the lie” they destabilize or try to “lie better”.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

And eventually a higher power of whatever they draw justification from , will cut them down 👎

[@Saculv4918]

Indeed!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

When we catch them out, they play the victim!

[@jenniferannfox2316]

@@amandaliverpool3374 yes and then they blame it on you.

[@victorkroud3642]

Lie Better! Ha. 👍. Like joining a church. Let’s take that lie to a whole new level.

[@victorkroud3642]

I asked my ex narc, “Why did you lie?” I received this answer, “Because I didn’t want you to be upset.” I was lied to for my own comfort and protection? Obviously they cannot hear themselves when they talk.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

In other words...my lying is your fault.

[@victorkroud3642]

@@SurvivingNarcissism : Exactly! Thank you!

[@globalheartwarming]

For their own comfort.

[@lauriedettelback1179]

Unfortunately that is the truth.

[@wojill5420]

I just had that same conversation with my narc mom. Pure insanity.

[@eagleeye2300]

Narcissism should be classified as a form of insanity. No person with any degree of psychological balance could a) convince themselves it's okay to delight in using, harming and ultimately moving to destroy people. And b) be taken by demons because their behavior is so amoral they've thrown out the welcome mat to negative entities that can use them-- like someone who gets in and drives a car.

[@NarcissistFreealmost]

It has been called "moral insanity" by Hervey Cleckly author of " The Mask of Sanity".

[@jeanettecook1088]

I've had similar thoughts. The narcs I knew were certainly insane, as I go by one good definition I heard many years ago in a psychology class: If you define insanity as lack of attachment to, or detachment from reality, on a chronic basis or as a way of life, then narcissists are indeed insane. I think the ones in my life were, because they destroyed opportunities and were very perverse, at the best, in their handling of relationships.

[@TurtleHillTx]

Of course! The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome!

[@Uberqueenbee]

​@@RatedArgggat least

[@suzetteclarke1709]

Wow!! Well said

[@judyosowa5516]

Thank you for free therapy l been destitute during divorce this has been life saving listening to you helping the helpless

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Very pleased for this feedback.

[@jannettekirwin4530]

I really don't think they deserve all this attention and analysis. They are liars, they are vacant nothings. Full stop

[@lynnfincham6839]

They lie when they don’t have to lie 🧐

[@seameology]

🎯

[@rosieE121]

They expect you to lie for them too.

[@deborahrichardson3731]

They tell a story/ lie then get mad and frustrated you ask something about said story later. ( Because they can't remember what lie they told to be able to repeat it back the same)

[@tbunnyshy1]

This just happened to me this morning. Trying to gain my inner peace back…easier said than done. 😵‍💫

[@LotusBusinessResources]

Exactly 💯

[@suejohnson3972]

Judge Judy says if you tell the truth you don't have to have a good memory!! I've heard her repeat that many many times!!

[@deborahrichardson3731]

@@suejohnson3972 yes, the truth doesn't change. You may remember more details, but the facts don't change.

[@ptrblz]

Their state is predatory, they must gain the most in the least time/effort to make it work for them.. they saddle you like a horse and they must do it fast.. if they fail they must go, won't stand it being around people who did not fell for it

[@almohvn33]

I will say this. I was FORCED to lie also. I had to, to calm the nut case, and to GET OUT and NC! I did all I could to TRY and work it out. I will say, for some of you, for your safety.. You might HAVE to lie. This is not the time for truth. You will recover.. you will get past this. !!!!

[@Annenigmatic]

After I moved out, my covert mom was in need of more supply & started going to Al-anon meetings & prayer groups to "get support for her drunken husband," my dad, who did not drink. It disgusted me, and proved there are no bounds to the lying & lengths that a narcissist will go for supply.

[@jesusluvsu669]

Lots of narcs in all of those groups

[@lizzyschmidt8429]

I had not heard that one, but I know they will thoughtlessly destroy reputations.

[@Annenigmatic]

@@jesusluvsu669 It's so low and gross...like literally feeding off innocent people just trying to help 😣

[@cariefitzpatrick238]

Oh wow, that’s next level. 🤦‍♀️ Taking advantage of people who want to support and who might’ve really gone through those experiences is literally the next level of “damaged.” Yikes

[@Annenigmatic]

@@lizzyschmidt8429 Your comment about reputation flew over my head until just now because my mom had my dad completely isolated. He didn't have any friends outside of her my whole life.

[@patriciafry8634]

Sometimes their lies are manipulative-to get what they want, or are part of future-faking.

[@treelover1050]

Never met a liar like a narc does. There's lying and then there is Narcissist lying. Made me leave him and know he was untrustworthy and didn't deserve any respect.

[@chayo4537]

What's regular lying?

[@dianesavant2818]

Lying is done by a narc with no remorse.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Their conscience is definitely turned off.

[@dianesavant2818]

@Surviving Narcissism I'm not sure they have one. You have helped me so much. Thank you.

[@mikediamond353]

Maybe they're born Without a Godly Soul.

[@WisconsinWanderer]

I never knew the exact extent of her lying until I finally left my narcissist. I was stunned! But she always preached honesty in our marriage what a crock. So glad I’m outta that madness! Old Gus there was wondering “who’s he talking to” thanks Dr.C😊

[@steffenworldcitizensurf5926]

Kind of like the rock stars who sang about true everlasting love, and then married four times.

[@tbunnyshy1]

Same! I hear you and I understand. In conclusion, after getting married I found his hidden divorce papers stating he had an affair. Another horror occurred (unimaginable). A few years later he had an affair with his friends wife while I was pregnant. Now they are married. I’m so happy you are free and I am free…now its just family I need help with. 😂 Dr. C. and Gus are literally a phenomenal team. We are very fortunate 😊

[@hchayes9431]

Narcissistic persons seem to: tattle tale, gossip, have high drama stories about others often engaging their flying monkeys to spread the word.

[@michaelgoldberg7403]

Yes my friend. That's part of the show.

[@jameshutchins3396]

They can not lose no matter what is at stake, big or small

[@kirsikka3752]

They say they are not lying, they just protect your feelings, because you are too sensitive. In fact they protect their access to you, because you would leave if you knew the truth.

[@mehitabel1290]

My mother, who was a textbook narcissist, lied constantly. Yet oh the joy and gloating if she ever caught anyone ELSE in a lie!

[@lisahead6868]

Yup. Mine too

[@christinaheidenreich5384]

Mine too. She used to start her sentences "and I am not lying: ....." uncountable times each day !?

[@nv_chino]

:(

[@missylou82]

Same here. Saying God, doesn’t like liars.

[@secondhorizon]

When they're not lying ~ they're not trying.

[@sandrathomas2893]

Or sleeping 😁

[@wojill5420]

I just had a smear campaign run against me by my mother in law and her daughter, they tried turning a niece against me after I took care of my dying father in law and my sister in law who had a kidney transplant. I guess being nice to these people means they come to resent you and spread lies about you. Pretty screwed up

[@lisalynch629]

The more you do the more they resent and slander you

[@elizabethf9096]

That’s terrible and sad God bless u for helping

[@robertharrison1058]

And even if you can do something better than them they hate it I'm considered the favorite of my mums 5 kids simply because I was her carer when she had a hip and knee operation and I've had a sister think they was my mums favorite and when my mum explained how that wasn't the case they grew bitter and resentfullness especially to me I've seen her badmouth me in front of me to others because she can't seem to see I'm in the room and now I've tried to hold her to account I've been threatened been gaslit to hell and blackmailed and now the narcissist sister started her smear campaign telling others she's the victim.

[@lacecurtainirish]

I can relate. I stepped up to help my parents in the years prior to their passing. My narc sister did zero to help but spent a great deal of effort telling anyone who would listen that I was doing it in order to steal everyone’s inheritance. After my mom passed, she convinced my father to sign everything over to her and he did. I wish I could’ve afforded a lawyer to fight it but I couldn’t. What really hurt is that she gave away family heirlooms to strangers rather than offer them to me or my children. You’re right - it’s pretty screwed up.

[@bereal6590]

I didn't realise what a liar my mother is until she became a bit forgetful. Forgetting what she had said to me previously! Now it's glaringly obvious.

[@lalani888ARTblue]

"You didn't tell me that part".....🎯 That's exactly what they do when giving you their fabricated version of their ex. They create a version that makes them appear to be the victim. They will change this version from time to time just to keep you feeling confused and insecure. And understand clearly that the version they create about 'you' for other's to hear...as well as your own children to hear...is no different. They want to keep everyone in a FOG of uncertainty. They are devious and have no loyalty to anyone.

[@thecustodian1023]

I'm dealing with that related to court issues. It's like they have no clue that the stuff they try to spin around (massive and repeated lying by obvious omission and twisted contexts) to make them look like the victims is already heavily documented and in the lawyer's hands clearly showing otherwise.

[@denisemorris5583]

When you grow up in such an environment, one's perception even of reality is wishy washy. Nothing is clearly black and white, but grey and fluid. I believe this affects brain development and even impacts learning and test-taking - thus, yet another impact on success in life.

[@skinnyway]

absolutely. this is my life also. ❤‍🔥❤‍🔥

[@catherinepraus8635]

Most definitely

[@carolnahigian9518]

If I ever hear Cousin Toxic Windy tell the truth, it would be a Shock. For 66 years; she always has an AGENDA-lie

[@bereal6590]

Very true. My parents not only didn't teach barely anything useful, they tear down reality forcing a distorted mindset I to their kids. All that causes is confusion

[@nv_chino]

I never heard of it like that, the black white and grey and fluid part but it’s true for the entire statement.

[@mommaboombam3764]

Lying has no room in my life. When you learn the techniques that are used to manipulate you, you get better at spotting lies from others. Stay strong everyone. Close that chapter and move on in life without them bc you deserve better. Amen 🙏

[@Lemana28021989]

Of course it is. It protects their fragile ego, their perception of life and those around them. By lying they justify towards themselves what isn't true. If they would stop lying, they'd have to admit that most of what came before wasn't true either. They survive only on basis of their constructed reality..

[@Lemana28021989]

Oh and in addition, their lies will enable their micro managing, the word salad and the talks about "that's not true but by talking about the lies we are not talking about what really should be talked about"

[@wordswordswords8203]

Very well put.

[@robertharrison1058]

Of course narcissists will lie to the day they die they are pathological liers as they aren't ever in the wrong they can't take any accountability as it's poison to them.

[@HealedChakras777]

Agreed! I used to actually tell my ex narc that he was living in a different reality than the rest of us. I eventually grew weary of trying to bring him into the reality that is. I'm convinced that narcs live in whatever la la land they constructed.

[@newsflash6593]

knowledge is power and the narc understands that... lying is also about staying in control.

[@vickimerritt2832]

In control of the circus of lies.

[@chayo4537]

All this knowledge but no one's practicing what they preach

[@faithhopecharity2386]

I feel like this is their #1 trait, bearing false witness.

[@rebeccablakey2637]

A Narcissists lies to cover their wrong deeds and will keep lying to cover their lies. This is a cycle that keeps repeating over and over again. My family has experienced this from a narcissist. There is absolutely no moral compass that a person with this problem had or uses to make decisions. Narcissists like to be the victim to get their supply.

[@emotown1]

There is a simpler explanation which is (I think) they just lie repeatedly because they know it isn’t nice or fair. It’s to put the recipient in “their place”.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

When narcisists go into their lying mode it says they have quit on themselves and want to make you responsible for their life miseries and project their shame onto you to absolve themselves from the responsibility for their unfinished business. Let’s not let that happen. Thank you so much dr Carter ❤

[@kateandphoebe]

I believe that narcissists who lie do not know they are lying. The first building block of everything that a narcissist believes, is that the narcissist is always right. Everything else is built on top of that original building block - that the narcissist is always right. If it's a situation where the narcissist is indeed right, then everything built on top of that first building block will be true and accurate. But if it's a situation where the narcissist is wrong, everything that is then built on that original building block of the narcissist "being right" will be grossly perverse and will do a lot of damage to a lot of people. But in the narcissist's mind, he/she has not done anything wrong. The narcissist has merely remained consistent with his/her most crucial principle - that he/she is always right and that any information not consistent with that must be discarded.

[@NextLevelTherapy]

So true. My goodness. When they do the deny attack thing when they’re found out and blame you, just give in a couple days so they can think of a lie to their lies. I realized they need a couple days to figure out a believable lie to honest and real proof of the lies. It’s really sad. I agree with a comment that they are insane. It’s sad. I feel for these very broken people that truly can’t see themselves or reality.

[@maryheiser311]

Do they get a thrill out of seeing how much lying they can get away with? Seems the more they get away with the more they will lie. After while it seems that lying becomes more natural for them than being truthful and they get a bigger and bigger thrill from what they get away with.

[@darynagorska655]

You are 100% right!!! It's like a game to them!

[@BodyByBenSLC]

My brother was a narcissist. He was a fun house mirror of lies, half truths and omissions. Ruined his relationship with his sons, lost every job he ever had and was a low level con-man. Terrible alcoholic but never got treatment or even admitted he had a problem. Last Saturday he was found dead under a pier in Alaska. 44 years old what a waist.

[@PrincessCashmonie]

Do you miss your brother? Do you feel better in the inside?

[@nv_chino]

Sorry about growing up with that. RIP to him, seriously, life of chaos , he kind of deserve peace from himself

[@kathywalker4766]

Yep they are pathological liers

[@Cowface]

My narcissist lied to me for years… about me. Any time I took time to care for myself? Selfish. Any time I told her how her actions made me feel? I’m manipulating her (she’s not responsible for my feelings after all!) Any time I didn’t meet her expectations? I don’t love her. Any time I tried to make friends and a life outside of her? I’m going to leave her. Any time I make a request or complaint in the relationship? I’m attacking her self worth and telling her she’s a bad wife. None of that was true!! Maybe she really was that paranoid and actually believed it, but eventually I started to believe it myself. I stopped doing self care, making requests, asserting myself, holding her accountable and just became a shell of my former self. Eventually I realized this was all happening, and started to miss who I was when I met her. That’s when I knew it was time to end it. She’s now in my life only as coparent, but the lack of self-trust persists. The only difference is now I’m aware of it. I know this video was about lying and not gaslighting but as you say, lying becomes gaslighting.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're seeing into her own troubled soul. Don't filter your responses and priorities through someone who has not figured out life.

[@Cowface]

@@SurvivingNarcissism thank you kindly 🙏

[@douaa1934]

They think of it as a defense tool used to disarm others. They also frequently use it to gaslight others

[@PinkScorpion333]

Yup!!

[@kallen3506]

Remember Dear Ones, your BEST response in dealing with the narc is NO CONTACT. Dr C provides us with sanity moves (chessboard) when we have to engage with such. Presently I have to engage with a syrupy, full-of-religiosity, relative. I do alot of grey-rocking, I say zero about my personal life/family/hopes. I DO talk about the weather, vague stuff. I try to do that which is necessary (at their home) & do my best to keep my vibration/energy high, then leave. Done. I move my mind to elsewhere Immediately afterward. Dear Ones train yourself to keep Your Energy! Be aware if you start getting frustrated, aggravated, angry - I have been in that place too! - let them keep their "stuff" that they want to rope you into. Thank you Dr C !!

[@MarlanWarren]

I really admire the way you never seem to run out of information and points about narcissism, Dr. C! I'm still dealing with narcissistic clients and you hit it right on the head about the constant need to lie in order to make themselves look better than they are. Sadly, I usually know what the truth is and then I have to watch them dance. Keeping my mouth shut most of the time until I call them on their BS. It doesn't seem to phase them when I speak truth. The subject just gets changed.

[@keplermission4947]

Got you when you said that "You hit it right on the head". Dark Triad people use words like 'hit', you know your truth might not be theirs? 🙄

[@lorettaenglerth1361]

They just do the back peddle lying game for their survival/ to feel important..

[@OneWhoKnowz]

I am a truth speaker ❤ shit bothers their asses

[@jonnuanez7183]

​@@keplermission4947"Hit it right on the head" is a saying, a phrase, to make a point. No real need to read more into it than what you think you saw. And using the phrase doesn't make a person a "dark triad". Yeesh!

[@keplermission4947]

@@jonnuanez7183 No but using the phrase suggests that the person probably is because they use language like that. But just believe what you like, you know, you die if you do and you die if you don't

[@SylviaPacheco-v3g]

I'm so apologetic they're constantly mean and mad while listening to your educational counsel. I do love relationships and notice the people he has used to hate on me. I don't want to continually complain because I'm always a fun-loving human being. This man thought and decided to use this apartment as a courthouse is weird, and their getting more weird above doctors trying to keep me implanted yelling the second I walk out the door all she does is show. He is always trying to keep me in here, gaslighting and accusing me. Please Dr.Carter know I'm not about hate. Please know if I had resources to leave, I would have .

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

Wow! I didn't know that lying is psychological laziness. My ex said "lying is always easy as long as I don't get caught." I almost fell off my chair when I heard him say that.

[@ging-a-roo2429]

I feel sick. I have been out of my relationship for years and I still feel sick looking back and buying the BS.

[@Eaglespy72gmailcom]

Is your partner manipulative, and you want access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72

[@TC-gx3qn]

Seeing how they lie to themselves is the most disturbing of all to me. There is no limit to the amount of evil a person that can successfully lie to themselves is capable. Another great video, Dr C. Blessings from California. 🐕

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, T C

[@ReRe_642]

One thing about lying. You have to remember them.

[@sallybrady1074]

That doesn’t stop Meghan Markle!

[@vickimerritt2832]

no, they just lie more to not be caught in all the other lies. like pinning jello to a wall.

[@ReRe_642]

@@vickimerritt2832 exactly

[@mikediamond353]

@@ReRe_642 wow...a person has to be on their guard, even in the comments!

[@mareeamor3596]

Yes, outright lying or omitting the truth selectively are tactics the narcissist in my life uses constantly. Lying about something I said - even seconds ago - to gaslight the heck out of me, is very transparent.

[@Cheechochic]

I'm finally accepting that my hubby of 23 years, is easily one of the BIGGEST Narcs to ever be plopped on the Earth. He's done sooo much to me and our children, we're all now damaged for life! Looking back at allllll the red flags, I should've ran for the hills from day 1. Hes now been a Preacher for over 10 years, yet still lies literally daily. It's exhausting... but, I'm now at the point that all love and hope has been absolutely pulverized and just the sight of him now disgusts me. 23 years down the drain.

[@Emberedits2013]

They'll lie right to your face about you.

[@mehitabel1290]

They do. My N mother did this. She lied to me about the person I was - and I believed her. I grew up believing I was "mental", "peculiar" and neurotic. It was only in my late 40s that I finally realised I'm none of those things.

[@sigmajapheth9414]

THAT'S DEFINITELY A TOTAL TRUTH

[@madonnahagedorn5649]

My sister is an obsessive liar. Her biggest problem is having someone not go along with her, like me. I can see the panic come over her when she knows I know the truth and don't tolerate her bad behavior. I don't let her suck me into all that. If someone asks me what's going on, I set them straight when I'm sure about the circumstances. Her lying gets her into trouble and still somehow it ends up being someone else's fault. It's exhausting. I don't engage her anymore and I have resumed a calm life.

[@dinky-diridgy-didge636]

The only problem in holding your ground is they then go into nasty punishment mode for you catching them out. You get the HOW DARE YOU statement. Dealing with a brat child. It's just not a workable pleasant interaction, just think to yourself I know your full of it and walk away otherwise they are going to want to argue. A whatever situation here Dr C.

[@cr4228]

They are cruel, heartless beings. Move on even while professing loyalty. Move on and discard in minutes.

[@Eaglespy72gmailcom]

Is your partner manipulative, and you want access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72

[@sallyoakes7709]

and then there's lying just to be mean. My mom encountered an amazimg number of people who expressed frustration and criticism of me and who were compelled to tell her all about it - including my Sunday School teacher! Wow, it's unusual how many rude people she met and she had to tell me every one of them and the inadequacies "they" saw in me. I was grown before I realized that she was making it all up. She still does it - and pits my sister and me against each other.

[@deemaysie6568]

You had me laughing!! This cruelty is a favourite ploy of BPD mothers. Sounds like we have the same mother.

[@cymbolichuman433]

I guess you didn't kiss her ass hard enough...

[@queenreg7]

Yeah. My ex used to tell me lies about how other people (his mom, usually) supposedly thought about me (ugly, bad hair, awkward). Glad that was a long time ago. I let him have it when i found out the truth but of course it was somehow either my fault or his bad childhood 😮

[@msredcurtains]

Omg ! I recently realised this, and it has been retraumatizing! I’m thinking back to times I believed those lies, and lived my life based on those lies, and now I can remember some things said that had no proof it happened, that somebody said that. She alienated me from everyone and made me think that the world was a dark scary place and that everyone is out to harm me and that only she can be trusted.

[@chloebell22]

I’m so glad you have the truth ❤️

[@dinky-diridgy-didge636]

They lie and are pretty proud of themselves even when caught out they'll laugh they really don't care

[@Unbreakablechic]

The narcissist told me that my openess is not always good for a relationship Also that by being this way he believes that I don't know what brings peace in a relationship. So toxic and strange. He is very secretive and deceitful.

[@terrycato2670]

When I saw the comment that someone said they should be declared Insane. Have you lost yours? What are you wanting to do, pay them? They know what they are doing, hold them accountable and arrest them.

[@chrishinson7081]

My soon to be ex lie some much right now he have his new supply thinking I'm a horrible person. Not knowing he is the worst narcissist I've ever seen. He actually upset because he thinks he deserve to be trusted 🙄🙄

[@snowbear1877]

My mother accused me of lying to the police and child protection about being abused. I think she genuinely believed I was a liar, because she never recognised that what she and my father did was abuse.

[@obi-wankenobi8462]

The last narc I knew said once when asked why he lies, “the most important lie I tell is the lie I tell to myself”

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

In other words, it was very deliberate!

[@Blueskies445]

The constant lies are unreal! So many lies, when I call her out on it because I am trying to tell her what she originally said, wow, the rage, anger, she starts yelling and trying to fumble her way out of her lies! I cannot stand this! I disconnected my relationship with my birth father many many years ago, and I disconnecting my relationship with my birth mother! There is absolutely no happiness in their lives! I can feel the evil when around her. I would not be friends with someone like this, at all! So it doesn't matter if it's your parents if it's causing stress on you it's time to leave!!

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

I don't even have to watch this to immediately subscribe to the title! My own mother LIVES her LIES, a whole life of LIES! 👍👍

[@chuckdow1]

To many people, lies and truth are the same. They justify using lies and truth interchangeable, according to the situation helping them looking good and right.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Unfortunately you make sense.

[@jyes23.]

I just can't comprehend that they believe their lies

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's because you think like a normal person.

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

They actually LIVE their lies and believe them.

[@marlineemmal6458]

@@Corinna_Schuett_GER They think they have everyone fooled and that their capacity to deceive others proves they're superior!

[@RandyDecious]

THERE EGO 4:03 🎉 4:03 WONT LET THEM TELL THE TRUTH EGO 2 FRAIL FOR THIS WHEN WE KNOW BETTER WHAT. A MISERABLE EXSISTENCE 😢😂😮😅😊

[@texanatexannadebdeb]

My narc lied to get what he wanted, to avoid responsibility to make himself look better, and just to lie. He often lied when the truth would’ve worked just as well. I think for him it is just pathological, he can’t not lie.😖

[@amothergoddess2774]

I AM BECOMING ANGRIER AND ANGRIER AND I THINK SISTER I TERMINATED CONTACT WITH HAS BEEN LYING ABOUT ME AND I HAVE HAD ENUF OF TALKING TO A NASTY, INTIMIDATING, GAME PLAYING SECOND SISTER; I DONT WANT TO HAVE CONTACT WITH EITHER OF EM, IM AFRAID OF MY FEAR AND INNER SHAKING WHEN I CONFRONT HER, THERES THE PROBLEM, IM AFRAID OF HER!

[@theofficialnikkisnews]

Narcissists lie when the truth will do.

[@AnonymousYaz]

It kinda makes sense why my ex narcissist lied to the police claiming that I assaulted her after she found out that I knew about her cheating on me. I guess she wanted to have the upper hand and stay in control but I was lucky that witness seen what happened and it was all recorded on camera so she was told outright by the police that she's lying.

[@akai.christo]

I've been lied for too long by a NPD father. I understand how he ended up been NPD, it helps me with the forgiveness process. But I am in a sort of limbo. Thank you Dr. C ♥️🙏🔥 Beautiful day and week for you and everybody here!! 💪🙂✌️

[@jenniferannfox2316]

I have a mother who does this and did all while I was growing up. She actually was jealous of me and my life choices and basically took away and smeared me to my children so well that they are estranged from me now. I find it hard to keep a close relationship even though I know I have forgiven her. I realized years later possibly why she did those things but nonetheless the consequences hurt me for decades. I'm now married to a narc who is trying to improve in counseling but he still has a tendency to lie if it makes him look better or avoid his perceived conflict. I have stood my ground and said I would not tolerate any more lying as it destroys relationships. Through this process I've strengthened my relationship with God. Only staying in the word daily and through prayer do I realize that no matter what people do to us, He will never leave us and He won't lie to us. As a Christian, I realize that the Holy Spirit in me is the only way I truly forgave my mother. Forgiveness frees both you and the offender.

[@noneyourbusiness7311]

Absolutely 💯 me too. My nf is dead and I haven't missed him. That's sad to have to say. He was perverted. Dirty jokes etc. Very controlling and yet full of fear. Selfish and greedy. Always right and if you didn't agree with him and b be ON HIS SIDE .. unquote.. you were his enemy and out to get him. He could be funny but mostly in an off the wall making fun of others sort of way. I have forgiven him and think he's in hell but that was between him and God. I tried to share the gospel with of course pure rejection and belittling. It was what it was and I'm glad it's over. Now for 11 years I've been dealing with my NM on a low contact level. I can't seem to go NC and that's my choice and I can live with that. She lives over 1000 miles away. Very sad life I've had with my immediate family it could have been so good and it was and is soooo bad!! I forgave her too .. for ME!! to not hold hurt and unforgiveness in my heart. I'm better than that!! With God's help. My prayers are with you. I UNDERSTAND!! 🫂

[@DiscordOfDave]

My ex, in order to avoid lying, would deal in implications and avoidance. She would do certain actions or make certain claims that implied something, and when called out on it either say she never made the claim she was implying (technically true) or she would completely ignore you. When actually caught lying she’d just brush it off in some way.

[@efinden]

When a narcissist lies about drama and reel you into it, is that a form of manipulation. Manipulation of my empathy and emotions?

[@MH_Prof]

When I first started dating my ex who was a textbook NPD, he would tell servers in restaurants he was from the corporate office. Everyone would be hopping around trying to give us top notch service because of his lies. I would only say I don’t have anything to do with that. Dr. Carter is right. I should have called him out. When we would get back in the car, he would say it was “theatrics.” I would say no it’s not, it’s lying. Nobody asked you to put on entertainment in that place. These are the types of things that caused me to start to hate him. Eventually, I walked away. I hated his character, so essentially, I hated him. Dating him is the biggest regret of my life.

[@dianestetzler9978]

Thanks for your insight! I'm married to a narcissist and have always thought in the back of my mind that he has been lying but I can never seem to catch him in it because he denies everything. Ever since I've been having health problems, I'm getting very little support from him. He turns everything around so that the focus is on his health problems and has no empathy for me. I'd like to leave but financially I can't afford it.

[@denicehaley9902]

Diane, unfortunately, I’m in the exact boat as you. 😢

[@PinkScorpion333]

I'm so sorry!!

[@Mishmixalot]

I left my narc, but am living in the shed of our home due to not having finances to move. I am so much happier out here and away from him. As long as I stay away from him, I am healing every day.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

I can't wait to hear 🥰 from Doctor 🥰 Carter 🥰 on this subject , because I am sure this is why curing most probably 99% of Narcissistist behaviour is not possible

[@dsaylor36]

That and they don't think anyone is capable of understanding them. They believe they are much smarter or clever then everyone else- hence being called a narcicisst

[@z32luvr]

Without their lies they would fall apart.

[@michele4040]

After being caught in a lie yet again... he said " i just can't be honest enough for you" like i was just totally demanding asking him to stop lying all the time.

[@ritatharp5238]

Hi Gus!

[@gettingonabit7988]

I recently got caught out with a big whopping lie. It made me angry, but also really sad. This is something I've had to deal with this all my life.

[@quantumfineartsandfossils2152]

7:20 + yup 'the missing bite' before the husbands self defense shove EXACTLYYY

[@dragoness777]

Listening to this mindset honestly is very much like listening to my teenaged mindset, minus the element of remorse that I have from it. No wonder narcissism "runs in families", I was literally taught that the "world's out to get you so you have to lie sometimes" mentality was normal. My own family would accuse me of lying all the time and I would have to lie in order to get out of the accusation, even though I was telling the truth normally. If I want to change as a person? I'm acting weird and lying (even if we have a whole argument about why I started doing things different). If I shut my door? I'm hiding something (as if you want to see some of the stuff I do alone? Also, what if I just don't want the cat to step on my fresh paintings?) The more honest I am the more confused I get. I've seen family lie to people's faces and complain about them behind their back. Currently I try to be as honest as I can while being as polite as the situation demands. In my family, politeness overtakes honesty.

[@SwimminWitDaFishies]

Would your family members respond to any question you posed to them with "Why do you ask?" or "What's behind your question?" It's something my husband does to me and I am sometimes just asking a question out of curiosity or because I just want to know what he thinks about the topic I'm asking him about. Apparently I always have to have an ulterior motive for wanting to gain knowledge 🤔

[@dragoness777]

@@SwimminWitDaFishies Some do and those family members can be reasoned with to an extent, but the most egregious ones just assumes that I'm being a smartass and argumentative because I have to "be right about everything" (it has gotten worse since I have been in university and contributed to conversations from the perspective of my field, up to being called a liar, which is funny because I'm studying a social science which is a field that challenges ideas of "right" and sometimes I don't even offer a perspective that is my own). Also yeah my mother especially accuses me of ulterior motives all the time, she calls me "spiteful" even if I have nothing to be spiteful towards (it got to the point where my default emotion towards her is apathy and that makes her angry).

[@msredcurtains]

Wow I could totally relate to your words! Every interaction with them makes you feel like a thief talking to a cop. Even if you have done nothing wrong, you’re always looked at like that. As a child, You’re calculating the possible answers in your mind, which answer will not get me in trouble? Over time, we are always left with that guilty feeling. And we can’t be authentically ourselves, we always have to calibrate our answers for them.

[@stanleydrive740]

Gus is on his blanket today🥰 So cute! Dear Doc, I so appreciate your teachings, it is life-saving. The more I learn from you, gradually I feel more free. All the invalidation unlocks. Dear Doc, you have been a godsend to me. Thank you so very much🧡🧡

[@snowbear1877]

Or they withhold information.

[@mikediamond353]

That is my clue that the person I'm working with is a narc. They hold back that one piece of info, so my work is bad, and they have someone to blame.

[@snowbear1877]

@@mikediamond353 That's exactly right. In the workplace, it's one of the criteria for bullying.

[@Morpheus-pt3wq]

Lying only works, if you know, how to lie. If you can´t do that, then it´s better to only share required minimum of information or not tell them anything at all. Learn to make and maintain boundary for that. It´s honestly the best, when narcissists become so entangled within their lies, they start mixing them up and accidentally reveal more, than they ever wanted.

[@chayo4537]

Hmm. That's interesting. Lying only works if you know how lie.

[@sandracaezza7234]

I was told, when someone lies to you, take it as a loan, you will be paid back with INTEREST! Love it and it’s true. My interest is living without this person everyday. Today what did I do ? And it was not a lie😄😄😄😄

[@optical-illusion9996]

People of the Lie, Scott M. Peck... a must read on this topic

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

A ground breaking book, for sure!

[@incognito595]

LIARS ALWAYS. THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT LIE. .

[@staceycleary8736]

Thank you for this channel. I found you when I thought I was losing my mind in my relationship. I found you 9 years into my relationship. You confirmed all the things that I was thinking & what I was seeing about my BF’s behavior. I learned I was in a relationship with a narcissist! By watching your channel I became healthier, set my boundaries & finally left him at 11 years. I had had enough & I’m done.

[@TC-gx3qn]

Good for you!

[@gypsymonk8229]

Lying is weakness. 🙏👍

[@LennyCR]

Narcissists like it ....... Narcissist's lye kit! Thanks again, Dr. C!!

[@patricianeville1941]

Dr. Carter, thank, thank you so much for making this video! ❤️🙏🏻It has been very helpful and certainly fits what the narcissist I know is doing. They also think they are more intelligent and that gives them the right to use lying! 😝

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Hi Patricia. You are quite welcome.

[@forgottonbabyforgottendeca1483]

Yeah I've learned so much about myself my mom thinks I do drugs now I've never done drugs I've tried to help people that were on drugs he has lied and lied and lied he's destroyed so much of my life

[@sandracaezza7234]

Not living with lie’s everyday opens a whole new daily world. Your right ,I can learn something everyday because there is no “ what ?…” factor. Lies drain the empaths brain.

[@emotown1]

Being constantly lied to will drive any sane person mad over time. Especially if the person doing it seems to have the backing of others. Lying is a weapon.

[@hauntedsalmon7931]

He told me that he broke his leg because he didn’t see some construction while riding his bicycle. His brother told me that ex got drunk and got belligerent with someone at a bar who then broke it. I think this lie also covers up his abusive nature.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Live in truth and they will flee.

[@maidenmarian1]

This is amazing material and helps me face that I was friends with a pathological liar. I now question many things that were told to me by this witch. She is a liar through and through. It is frightening to consider.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased it resonates!!

[@butchieblock9118]

My mother has no clue that she's lying, it's become a Mainstay foundation for her entire existence! For my own sanity, I just had to let it go, and let her go. I don't try anymore. She physically attacked me twice and that was enough. That was when I already dropped $10,000 on her and she was living in MY house. And then she sold her former house for $300,000, I have not seen a penny of repayment. But that's okay because I don't need to see her anymore.

[@tombuddy100]

They tend to have a different version or narrative of the same event depending on who they are talking to. They seem to forget that those people may also talk to each other about what the narcissist told them and find out about the different narratives that way. Yet the narcissist keeps track of what needs to be told to each person. How is it not exhausting for them?

[@dsaylor36]

Seriously. How they live to 90 still doing the same thing shows their mind is truly malfunctioning and permanently deranged.