Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Role-Play - Complicated Grief

This video features a counseling role-play in which Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is used to treat a client (played by an actress) who has complicated grief. Thoughts occurring during bereavement are evaluated and alternative thoughts (self-talk) are explored.

[@zureezee1887]

I like the way Dr. Grande gets the client to think more rationally through the use of questions and reframing, as well as using the clients strengths. This kind of therapy works, because when a client has irrational beliefs, it takes a counselor to work with them to look at things differently, and help them explore other avenues.

[@robertodonati1037]

I agree with you. It was interesting how by viewing her thoughts from a different perspective she could helped the client not to feel alone or that no one understand her. It was actually these thoughts that isolated from people and not that there was no people interested in her

[@ninastreet4630]

I liked how the counselor challenged the client about not having anyone to talk to. Even though the client feels alone, she still has people who will be there for her.

[@kaitlynforaker9832]

I really enjoyed watching the relationship between the therapist and the client. The therapist was engaged and made the client feel heard. I think growth happens when this is the foundation of the session!

[@rhondabaileyyy]

I liked how Dr. Grande was empathetic to the clients loss and seemed to understand her pain. He also helped her to see that she was having an irrational thought that she did not have anyone to talk to. He helped her to understand that she does have someone to talk even though it isn’t her sister.

[@corinneporter3425]

I like how patient the counselor was with the client and allowed her to see her irrational beliefs without being so direct. He got her to see that she has other people in her support system who she can connect with. He took her negative thought, "she was the only one that believed in me" and allowed her to think of many other people in her life that influence her, such as her parents and also friends that are very encouraging.

[@ushalincoln2546]

What I liked about this therapy technique is how the counselor did not invalidate clients irrational thoughts instead he helped her see beyond those thoughts. He helped her see how there are other people part of her support system and that however also how to identify how her sister continues to help her even thought she is no longer physically with her.

[@rebeccafalter2206]

I agree. Avoiding invalidating her thoughts was something I was concerned with about utilizing this theory but instead he used validating her feelings as a way of leading her to more rational thoughts as well as lifting her up on her own because he helped her to see how she didn't need her sister or someone else to motivate her or push her to continue succeeding.

[@janicedixon2051]

I like how Dr. Grande created a safe and open space for the client to talk and developed a therapeutic relationship from their first session. I also liked how he jumped right in and started to talk about the irrational thoughts that the client has been having in regards to the death of her sister after checking to see if she was past the emotions from last weeks session.

[@jackieslavin2150]

I think REBT is important. We all have irrational beliefs at times and I think this therapy is a very effective way to rationalize irrational beliefs. I felt that this session was helpful in understanding REBT. Dr. Grande was non-directive in guiding the client to see her own irrational beliefs. The loss of a loved one is very difficult and Dr. Grande was very gentle and sincere with the client.

[@sarahjones208]

I like REBT therapy because the therapeutic relationship is so evident in many ways. The counselor is able to engage in deep conversation with the client and help her to see the situation in a different light. I also like how the counselor does not dismiss the clients irrational thoughts but he also did not let her continue on this belief path.

[@ewhite1124]

Building that rapport is crucial in establishing that much needed therapeutic relationship. As you pointed out - engaging in deep conversation and the enlightenment of alternate perspectives are not easy, without that relationship.

[@angelinastanton7996]

Sarah Jones I also like how the counselor did not openly disapprove of the client's irrational thoughts and held an optimistic and positive view of the client. He helped the client discuss and become more aware of focusing on positive perspectives. This was a great example of using the ABC model.

[@kaitlynsantola433]

Dr. Grande was very genuine when talking with the client. He eased the client into talking about her sisters passing. I liked how he worked through the clients thought of having "no one to talk to" since her sisters passing. He makes sure to clarify what the client is feeling before challenging the irrational thought. The counselor helps the client look at other people in the clients life who she feels comfortable talking to. This helps the client to process that while she lost a member of her support system, she does have other people that are there to talk and to help her.

[@wandamixon5360]

I appreciate how I can view the A-B-C personality theory of REBT in this role play. There are at least two irrational beliefs addressed. The client's feelings are acknowledged and addressed before discussing irrational thought. In both situations the process was smooth. The irrational beliefs are evident and the client is directed toward positive thinking and self-talk. It's helpful to see REBT used regarding a sensitive subject.

[@rhobot75]

Yesterday, watched a bunch of the REBT videos and am returning to say, this video is something to treasure going forward. I am definitely someone who gets ready for loved ones to die. I don't want to feel helpless and hopeless when support goes. I'm so glad to be watching these videos and exploring my own inner world. I do like this REBT therapy- a long time ago, a friend who was in counseling school (MFCC) and who knew me well recommended it.So I am so happy to have this chance to watch a small library of videos and follow up 23 or so years later on their idea! The counselor does have to have their head on straight to keep to the ABC- I'd be like, "Hi, I'm a talker, I brought you Post-It's" ha Good work, Dr. Grande!

[@emilytwomey7817]

REBT is one the techniques I connected the most with and something that I plan on integrating throughout my style of counseling. When doing the role-play in our class, we focused on issues surrounding self confidence, academics and self hatred , so it was enlightening to see it from a perspective where an external factor, like someones death, can cause use to have irrational beliefs. Additionally, grief can be such a difficult emotion, that often individuals think in absolutes-like as the women above described, "I have no one else to talk to now." However, when thinking about it was able to change the thought process into the person was a really good listener, she can not be replace, but there are other options.

[@virginiamurrey9139]

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is very interesting. With this role play it seems as though the counselor has built a great relationship with the client. This allows the client to become more open with the counselor and to apply the A,B,C,D,E Model more effectively. This was a great display of an example of this model in dealing with grief.

[@rebeccafalter2206]

I think when I read about REBT, I was not as sure I would like it enough to apply it in my future career. After watching the role play and seeing how it can be used well, I see that it's really helpful and less confusing than I originally thought. I thought that talking about a person's thoughts as beliefs and referring to them as irrational would be more difficult to manage. Seeing Dr. Grande using this theory made me more comfortable with it myself. When talking with the client about how her thoughts and reasons for her thoughts, he was able to address them as being valid and also irrational because she does have people that support her and people to talk to but she suffered a significant lose in her life.

[@jackiedeleonardis1153]

This roleplay demonstration helped me to see how REBT could be used with a client. After the reading, I still was not sure how this could be implemented, but this really helped to put it into perspective. Grief is difficult and i think that Dr. Grande was effective in by having the client find ways to replace her irrational thinking with more rational thinking when processing the loss of her sister.

[@diane3460]

I liked that the counselor helped her to see that in reality she did have other people in her life that she can talk to, instead of the irrational generalization that she had no one that she could talk to. I also liked the positive self talk technique that he wanted her to try. I also noticed that different times throughout the session the counselor goes through and helps the client change those irrational thoughts to something more positive. The client seemed to work well with this type of therapy.

[@brandiependergast5865]

I enjoyed this video and how Dr. Grande was able to remain sensitive to her loss while being able to provide her with guidance on how to remain rational with her thoughts. I believe this was an important aspect to hold onto. Had he not developed that trusting relationship with her previously, telling her that her thoughts are irrational would not be as effective.

[@robertodonati1037]

It was interesting to see how Dr Grande could challenge her irrational thinking about not having someone to talk to, even if these people won't replace her sister. Once she could understand that, it helped the client not to feel so isolated

[@cherylchance8671]

I think it really speaks to the need that we have to simply share our feelings as well. Often times in situations where a client may have lost someone they are unable to get closer by speaking to the individual. Practicing these techniques may help to assist with obtaining the closure needed to move on with their life.

[@jasmiraross2802]

Right! She even accepted his challenge and started evaluating the relationship/encouragement from her parents support.

[@johnharrisjr2808]

The counselor established the therapeutic relationship right from the beginning. He helped solve the immediate problem by addressing the irrational thought of the client having no one else to talk to since her sister died. The counselor confronted that thought by asking if it was anybody else in her life that she could talk to. This gave the client a different perspective on the situation and she realized there are other people in her life that she can talked to however no one could replace the way she was able to talk to her sister

[@karaannsullivan2363]

I think grief makes a person have irrational thoughts by the sheer emotional toll it takes on their lives. This will be an effective technique to gently guide clients to change their irrational belief systems, even if they are in a painful place emotionally. I like how Dr. Grande wasn't abrasive in his suggestions and let the client work her way to a clearer awareness of the situation.

[@remigiusdemby7433]

You are right K.Sully and this becomes so true when the grieving individual has not gone through the grieving process.

[@ciaracarter291]

I like how he waited for the client to become ready to talk about her sister’s passing. He asks the client if she thinks she is maybe in a more rational frame of mind and she agreed. I like how he repeated what the client was saying about her sister. He acknowledges how her relationship with her sister was super valuable to her. In her state of mind because she lost her sister now she has nobody but in all actuality this is not really true. He pointed out that this conversation has lead to a “rational self talk” which I think is an interesting concept. I do believe the way that we talk to ourselves can affect the way that we move about the world. When we use positive self talk it allows us to speak positivity into existence. In her case I think this is very important because there are a lot of negative thoughts that this client has because she has lost her main positive influence. Through this therapy experience she was able to identify other positive individuals in her life which I believe was super helpful.

[@monicaperry13]

I like that Dr.Grande approached replacing irrational beliefs from a perspective that did not diminish in any way the relationship she had with her sister. I also like how he pointed out that her sister is still part of her life and continues to help her. For example, she still has the memories of her sister encouraging her. The client was able to come to the realization that she did have people to talk to and who encourage her. I like that this is a direct theory.

[@lizconnor1820]

I also liked that the counselor did not diminish the client's relationship with her sister when disputing her irrational beliefs. Before you mentioned it, I had not thought of how attempting to replace a client's irrational beliefs could potentially offend the client or cause them to become defensive. I imagine that can have a real negative influence on the counseling session.

[@veronicabetz9452]

I believe that the use of REBT in this session was very effective in helping Terri move through the grieving process of the death of her sister. Dr. Grande's use of the five stage counseling techniques, basic listening skills, and focus allowed Terri to break down each irrational thought and belief (negative self-talk) that was affecting her emotions, and replace them with (rational self-talk) other positive present options in her life that could almost replicate the same positive motivation that she was getting from her sister. Then, Terri could take the various adaptive responses and apply them in her day-to-day in order to bring about a more positive outlook and change in her emotional feelings. This approach allowed for very effortless communication on the part of the counselor and client.

[@williecannon417]

Thanks Dr grande this video is helping me with running a group in my groups course at Buffalo state universities social work department. Your the best

[@sereneamani1713]

Glad to see a recent comment.

[@kelliearnold8498]

Awesome job. Very interesting.

[@psicologiajoseh]

Very useful and valuable as usual, thanks for sharing Dr. Grande!

[@aussiebreeze3971]

The relationship was established and genuine. The trust is there. The therapeutic relationship is key. Helping the client realize her truth is vital without taking away anything from other areas or relationships. This is such a normal part of grief that we will see in our counseling sessions. This scenario will stick with me in the future as to how to move the client forward rather than stay stuck in the current belief of having no one else.

[@ushalincoln2546]

AussieBreeze I agree with you I think this session is a prime example of a great therapeutic relationship, which I think is very important to have with a client when counseling someone experiencing grief.

[@remigiusdemby7433]

I have an aunt who lost a son in a gruesome accident at a very young age. He was her only child. She never seemed to have gone through the grieving process. She cooks and leaves a dish on the table expecting the boy return home for dinner. This therapy would be very appropriate for her. Her irrational thoughts need to be challenged.

[@jillbeck6917]

I expected this session to be more directive and concrete. I noticed how the counselor was very gentle in helping the client see that there are alternative ways to address her initial thoughts of "having no one to talk to." I especially liked that he pointed out the contribution of her deceased sister on her current life. This was an important aspect to help the client deal with her grief and loss and take those contributions into other relationships.

[@wardellwhittaker859]

I found useful techniques of REBT in this session. The counselor was optimistic. The counselor helped reframe beliefs and evaluated evidence to aid in rational thinking. The counselor helped the client find new meaning (new philosophy) in the presented issue and suggested homework to connect this session to the next session.

[@tanyaperez2151]

amazing.. SO useful and helpful thank you!

[@sereneamani1713]

I found it helpful also in my study for the NCMHCE

[@KyriSvk]

Thank you for this video sir.

[@JoeDirt-el2fr]

The irrational belief that she believed noone would believe in her the same way her sister did again. Dr. Grande affirmed that that could be true. However there are other people who are helpful in her life. Dr. Grande was also able to show this client how her sister still contributes to her life today.

[@jewelthemindfulgardener]

I have a role play this week with REBT this was so helpful! Ty!

[@cherylchance8671]

These techniques were certainly a valuable way to assist the client with working toward creating situations where they can move on in dealing with their complicated grief. It is important to remember that this may happen in a wide range of situations that can include death but can also include other losses as well (ie divorce, empty nest, relocation, etc).

[@jackiesorrells5571]

REBT is an effective balance between goal setting and unpacking, critical event and the clients beliefs. The focus on rational and irrational beliefs is essential helps to frame the therapeutic work.

[@loriwardwell2957]

I think Dr. Grande did a great job of acknowledging the clients loss while still managing to give the client alternative ways of looking at her situation. The client seemed very accepting of the broader view he offered her but I wonder how easy that would be in a long term irrational belief situation that a client has been living with for years. The positive focus of the session was nice to see.

[@zureezee1887]

I agree with you Lori, he did the re-framing so well without being judgmental. He was very empathetic and acknowledged the client's feelings.

[@lauriott5858]

I also agree he did a nice job of showing empathy without dismissing her feelings over the loss of her sister. I can imagine working with grief stricken clients would be walking a fine line of how much to push and how much to pull back in your approach.

[@kikixiong6156]

This video demonstrated ABC personal theory of REBT in a very clear and brief structure. The counselor directed the client to rationalize her irrational beliefs such as “I have no one to talk to”. In reality, though, good therapeutic relationship and trust is needed for the client to accept the rational thinking process.

[@tyonnabrooks748]

The counselor showed empathy when they responded their understanding of the client's pain from the passing of her sister. After allowing the client to share her irrational thoughts, the counselor was patient, he listened, and then he switched her focus to think of other people who she can talk to. This allowed the client to acknowledge that there were other people in her life that she can talk to. I thought the counselor explained, essentially, how everyone is different and their roles in each individuals life will be different. This allowed the client to change her irrational thoughts to positive and to allow others a chance to talk with her and expand their relationships.

[@MrsBobDylan]

I liked how he challenged her irrational thoughts in this video. She said that she had no one else to talk to since her sister passed. Yet when he challenged her, she realized that she did have other people to talk to. He kept in mind that she had lost her sister and no one could replace her, but showed her that she isn't as alone as her irrational thoughts led her to believe. I think that the techniques in this video can be a powerful tool for those having irrational beliefs/thoughts.

[@jazzmynmolson307]

I really liked the challenge in this therapy. It allows the counselor to be more directive which is the ideal for trying to change behavior. I believe the irrational thoughts are essential to address in order to change behavior. I like how Dr. Grande used the skills to help the client realize that she does have other people to talk to.

[@lizconnor1820]

I really like that this therapy is active and direct. When confronted with an individual such as Terry who is thinking irrationally, this may be the only way to effectively dispute irrational ideas and replace them with rational ones. I did note that Terry appeared fairly quick to accept the counselor’s challenge of her irrational belief that she has no one else to turn to after the death of her sister. It made me wonder how difficult it can be to challenge the irrational belief system of an individual who is the complete opposite of her, i.e. someone who enjoys wallowing in their grief and is unwilling to think differently despite being presented with rational beliefs/ideas.

[@amandagerrick5407]

I agree that it might be quite challenging if you have a client who is not as willing as Terry to change their irrational beliefs. If that happens, how would a counselor proceed? I'm interested in learning more.

[@sarahjones208]

That is an interesting point Liz. I hadn't thought of the possibility of how difficult it could be to have a client with the opposite mindset. Great point!

[@lauraleslie4240]

I find REBT to be a great theory. What I like is how the client is given unconditional acceptance, but it is the irrational beliefs and self-defeating behaviors that are attacked. This seems that it could be a fine line to dance upon, but yet, done so correctly and by pulling the client into the exploration of the irrational beliefs, it helps them see how ineffective and harmful these thoughts are to oneself.

[@firstborn1101]

great job

[@angelinastanton7996]

I think this video outlined the A-B-C model because the activating event seemed to be the client losing her sister, the belief was that no one else could believe in the client, and the consequence was the client feeling down and negative. The video was very goal-directed in helping the client reframe her irrational beliefs and perspectives into positive/rational ones.

[@jasmiraross2802]

When you lose someone that you are really close to, it is understandable to feel like since that person is gone, you have no one else to talk to. I think it was a very good idea for Dr. Grande to help replace her irrational thoughts with rational ones. He helped her to see that there are people that are still alive, that are willing to listen to her, and encourage her the same way that her sister used to. It sounds like she wants the support that her sister used to give.

[@krystleclear14]

Yes, I agree. I believe this strategy can be helpful for many different situations a client may have.

[@Jennifr1966]

That's how i feel. I lost my mother and birth mother 2 months apart, so i feel like i have nobody to talk to now. I moved from across the country and moved in to mom's house for 6 years and have not made friends. There was no time. Now that she's gone and my birth mother was the one who believed in me, i only have my husband who is on hospice himself. I can't keep putting the whole bulk on my husband! Where do i go now to find new experiences and new loved ones?

[@karishmakasid7265]

This video’s amazing. Can you add the subtitles to it

[@libertybabe6086]

Dr. Grande did you learn and get trained by Albert Ellis in NYC on 65th Street? In REBT? NYC?

[@krystleclear14]

I like the idea of going through the rational and irrational thoughts. Some clients who go through therapy feel like "they have no one to talk to" as with the client in the video. For some, they do have a person they can reach out to By tearing down the irrational thought, they can replace it with a positive one by building those bridges again for social support.

[@psychologymriu8850]

gooood job

[@amandagerrick5407]

I really believe that this therapy could be effective when working with a client who have irrational thoughts. It helps the client come to the realization that they are not stuck in a certain reality like they believe they are. However, I wonder how you would proceed with a client that may not want to or think they have to change their irrational thoughts.

[@monicaperry13]

That is a good question. I wonder if you would keep working with that client to see if they would eventually change their irrational thoughts or if you would switch to a different therapy.

[@aussiebreeze3971]

YEs. This client took the "bait" easily. I think patience is going to be key with this therapy. It may take many sessions before a client can make this realization on their own.

[@MrsBobDylan]

Yeah, I think that some clients may be more resistant and you may have to work longer with them. As AussieBreeze said, it may take many sessions before it would work with some clients.

[@sereneamani1713]

Is complicated grief what is now known as Prolonged Grief Disorder (DSM-5-TR)?

[@nancyrode9781]

valuable👌

[@Misakichifan]

Ohh, I thought this was about the REBT technique of role play, not that they were acting. Illuminating video nonetheless.

[@lukeishawilliams4861]

Am here because of my assignment

[@yoya4766]

All the reviews here are the same. Something seems off to me, like its his team doing them. To me his mannerisms aren't nice at all.

[@aces541]

Weak...The therapist posture is disrespectful and slack....watch Elbert Ellis do it properly....

[@Godsmouth]

True. The posture of the therapist is wanting. Jealso keeps his palmon his chin when talking making words sound unclear. He however did well in navigating the client from irrationality to rationality