Was Suspicious Disappearance an Attempt to Start a New Life? | Robert Hoagland Case Analysis

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This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Robert Hoagland?
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[@TheMYERSFAN25]

At least he didn't harm his family like John List, Robert Fisher, or Chris Watts...he simply chose to leave....They should've done that.

[@kuritheking]

It’s almost like unstable men should stop marrying women and knocking them up and wasting their time just so that they can appear “normal” to the rest of society. That shits fucking annoying. Women have to deal regardless.. I have empathy and pity to an extent but for fuck sake, if you don’t want a certain lifestyle why bring it upon yourself, and then make yourself the victim? Awkward

[@milankatz9628]

Yes, they are of one mind, but chose a different avenue to escape.

[@bthomson]

Yes! Don't kill!

[@gabrielleandrew542]

Agree !!

[@lindas5964]

I often fantasize about disappearing somewhere when I’m stressed or unhappy. When I was younger I used to think about just holing up in a hotel room where no one could find me. But I know, like another commenter said “no matter where you go, there you are”. You can never get away.

[@nhmooytis7058]

My cousin’s husband who worked very hard to support his 4 kids used to say often “I want to quit and run away” but never did.

[@lindas5964]

@@nhmooytis7058 nope I’ve never actually done it but just thinking about it helps me to relax. It’s like knowing there is always a “trap door” out if I really need it.

[@nhmooytis7058]

@@lindas5964 there are definitely situations where leaving is the best way to deal with it, but if someone is making you miserable making THEM leave is better, if you can manage it. My ex hit me. I got up off the floor and said YOU DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMIORE. but we had no kids and the apartment and utilities were all in my name.

[@UncoolForYou]

Somewhere far where no one knows you or there being any resemblance of you. Just a clean slate a new start in a new place.

[@nhmooytis7058]

@@UncoolForYou most people create their own problems so geographical cures rarely work out, as the old saying goes, wherever you are, there you are.

[@ninabrown3044]

He was so overcome with depression and despair, I'm surprised he wasn't suicidal. He left everything and everyone behind. His life alone following his disappearance seems like a postponed suicide. Such a sad situation for all involved.

[@evonne315]

Maybe for him, "escape" was more palatable. Which is good he still had a chance to start over and find a therapist.

[@gregevans6044]

Well put

[@irenebertoni]

What was the cause of death? Natural causes? Also, Dr. Grande didn't mention if the wife is still alive or anything about her reaction to this news.

[@ninabrown3044]

@@irenebertoni He was found dead in his apartment at 59 years old. Not sure of cause of death, but an autopsy said no foul play, so I would guess natural causes. I can't find any update about his wife.

[@JWemm]

Where are any interviews with roommates or co-workers, or neighbors, as to their impressions of him?

[@a_real_nowhere_man]

"the grass will always grow back" thanks for the existential crisis doc

[@missyskye_sea_land9424]

You’re so poetic, Dr. Grande. The sad reality is that no matter where you run to, you’ll end up with “yourself.”

[@elliebellie7816]

I've said that a lot about myself many times. No matter where you go you end up making the same kind of decisions and living basically the same way.

[@Claytone-Records]

No matter where you go, there you are.

[@evonne315]

This is true.

[@LeoSunScorpioMoon]

@@Claytone-Records Yes!

[@JohnDoe-fu3lw]

"you are where you are"

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

I feel so sad for this man. Unfortunately, I believe many men experience the same despair. The pressures of being a good provider, a sensitive partner and a supportive father, sometimes are just overwhelming for some. They have so many good intentions but the shame and guilt can easily take over. It’s heartbreaking. Thank you for the thoughtful analysis, Dr. Grande.❤

[@lostandfound5145]

I cannot feel sorry for him. What he did to his sons and wife is so evil that I cannot have compassion for him whatsoever. What a coward

[@gracenurse3365]

Being “a sensitive partner and supportive parent” are not superhuman endeavors. Don’t get involved or have kids if you’re not interested in being an open, cooperative human being who’s willing to work with others.

[@SomethingSomethingg]

​@@lostandfound5145Yikes! You're part of the reason why men do this.

[@lostandfound5145]

@@SomethingSomethingg 🙄 people are responsible for their own actions.

[@petercollin5670]

I'm going to have to try hard not to imagine bleak metaphors for my household chores from now on. Like feeding my dirty laundry of shortcomings into the washer of despair. Or cleaning the grime of indolence off my windows of limitations. Or changing the engine oil of failures from my truck of bad choices.

[@northerngirl1637]

🤣

[@imaginepithynamehere4257]

Story of our lives. Well done, dude. Chat later; I'ma go start scrubbing the remnants of skin, hair, soapscum, and human frailty out of my bathtub of cryshowers.

[@GuitarPlayerNoah]

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” Thoreau wrote in Walden in 1854.

[@mortalclown3812]

Timeless in its truth. I also appreciate the gentle nature of that particular quote amid the usual amount of judgement. Paz y luz. 💫

[@JJ-mp5ye]

I was thinking of Walden the entire time thinking of his life 😢

[@janehammett3949]

Great observation. No mystery here. Final insult he left his wife at the airport.

[@nhmooytis7058]

I’ve ended relationships, left jobs, and relocated in ways that SEEMED impulsive to others but actually wasn’t. I’d been fed up and considering exiting then one day something happened that appeared minor, but it was the very last straw for me. I was done. It had gone too far for me to reconsider. Almost always while it led to a temporary disruption of my life but later looking back I didn’t regret it. In fact I regretted not doing it sooner.

[@milankatz9628]

Interesting, would your family/loved ones describe you unreliable?

[@quantaviousmooney3675]

@@milankatz9628 go back to sleep

[@kolaoshun6298]

This comment is so me.

[@reesemorgan2259]

I remember this story on 'Disappeared'. I suspected he was suicidal and that he'd never be found. Interesting to know that at least he was found.

[@jenn8179]

How ironic...he wanted to provide for his family...and yet abandoned them. I can't imagine how they felt never knowing what happened to him for all those years

[@heronpage3883]

Actually I thought something different. Apparently he changed careers so he could spend more time with his children. And then his kid turned out to be a thieving junkie. Maybe he just hit rock bottom when he saw how his son had turned out. Hanging out with losers in an abandoned building that maybe stole from him, but that he definitely was doing drugs with. And we don't know how bad things were with his wife. As was stated in the report, they had separated previously for 2 years. Maybe he just hated his job so much, the one he took to be able to spend more time with the kids that at least one disappointed him. Maybe he came to hate his wife. And one other thing. This all happened not very long after the Sandy Hook massacre. You never know what that type of thing would do to somebody who lives right in the area. It could be he looked at it as a life can be short situation I just think it's interesting that this all came about after his junky son move back home. As somebody who has had to live with a relative who was a drug user, it is incredibly exhausting mentally

[@milankatz9628]

@@heronpage3883 Yes, I have always questioned his relationship with his wife. She left on a 17 day tour of Europe and he was super stressed at work and she left him with their son who was a drug addict and struggling! Parents need each other during these times. The computer thefts sent him to abandon his life. He was done and thought she could do better than him. My 2 cents.

[@milankatz9628]

He disappeared 20 years earlier but was discovered ,via charge cards, and he went home. I do not think he would have returned home if this did not happen. He comes across as a nice guy and dad, but a hidden, deceptive side remains. Not really a standup guy.

[@milankatz9628]

@@heronpage3883 Agree. What wife goes to Turkey with a girlfriend when your son is drug addicted and facing arrest charges? A family, fractured, for sure. I agree, I think the marriage was heading South.

[@jamesroboyle]

@@milankatz9628 I’m thinking that he got tired of putting up with his wife . The first disappearance fell through but the second disappearance was successful altogether. I’m not saying that he’s perfect but his wife was probably a bigger bitch then we’re led on to believe. There’s definitely a lot that we’re not privy to.

[@lindseyhudson1274]

My mom always said “wherever you go, there you are”. I feel so sorry for his children. I can’t even imagine.

[@elliebellie7816]

It seems to me that living a life "on the run" would be so much more stressful than living a regular life. You have to spend every single minute making sure to eliminate any possible paper trails and the fact he was living so close to the home he left (plus left behind some kind of identification papers) makes me wonder if he didn't secretly want to be found.

[@KatJ3st]

Ending up on the street, sick, and likely dead.

[@hiiij9638]

True but I read that he had disappeared before .and he worked at a restaurant. A lot of restaurant jobs pay under the table and if he liked living a simple life without traveling outside the country.and stuff he probably adapted well. I think the problem with his son's drug issues was a lot for him and other stuff

[@nomadscavenger]

I think he lived the remaining yrs. much less stressed. After a x, no one recognizing him would have been a relief, and w/that probably came relief of the shame about the complete lie he felt he had been living. Of course the shame of leaving in that way would be a new one, but not about who he was or the knowledge he would be despised, rejected if discovered to be whatever. But that's a much lighter sentence to LIVE w/than all the rest he endured for so long. But I''m wondering if he ever wanted to be found, until he passed away w/the proof readily available for police/authorities to find? If living comfortably enough as, say a woman, it has to be only out of love for his family, or just his kids, instead of burning any remaining records/proof of his former identity. Maybe his roommate didn't have the means to bury him, or didn't know who he was, and he didn't want a paupers' town grave for an unknown, available in just about in every community? I'm guessing he had the$ for burial, but not free conscience to be lost to his sons forever. Thinking/caring about what he left behind, and wanted closure for them when it was time for the ultimate closure for him? (Very careful planning in the original getaway indicates to me, his ending would have been carefully planned out, even if no idea when that would be, no?) 🌞

[@heronpage3883]

In his case he got remarkably lucky. He had a good job, and I don't know if they paid him under the table or what but nobody had any problem with him and thought he was a great guy and a great worker. He also happened into a roommate situation where eventually when the roommate got a better job and made more money, he didn't make Robert pay any rent at all. They became best friends and from all accounts everything was great. They were having fun, they had a few friends, and Robert lived very simply. In comparison to his old life of working a job he hated, one that apparently he took so he could be closer to his kids, and then his son kept returning to drugs despite spending a fortune on rehab, maybe he just snapped. His new life was definitely less stressful than that. It's unfortunate the family couldn't work things out but as I said in another post, I have been forced to live in a family situation with a drug addict. I know I'm supposed to feel sorry for him but to this day I just hate him. He sucked up all the family finances, and I truly believe it drove my mother into an early grave.

[@glow1815]

Would be less stress for him actually. He wouldn't have to deal with his kids and the wife. No one he has to worry about anymore financially and mentally.

[@pamelajackson2383]

Today is the 10th anniversary of Newtown's sandy hook. The family lived in Newtown. I admire your interest and explanation of this case, I remember when it happened and never realized it has been this long. I had no idea he had a history disappearing.

[@lostsoul1278]

Hope you 1.23 million Dr G fans are having a awesome day!!

[@steph7738]

It’s ok

[@ZYX84]

❤!

[@lydianbreaux9332]

Trying to, lost soul.

[@ZYX84]

ps..(I think his name is Jonathan now😇)

[@sideshowratt]

Well shit. Inappropriate guilt and shame being symptoms of depression puts a lot of my personal problems into perspective.

[@SeanMoscardini]

I remember reading about this years ago and the most reasonable sounding theory was him getting in trouble with his sons drug connections. Everyone was simply dumbfounded and said him just leaving were unfounded. Crazy to think he actually just walked away, I hope the family get answers, and selfishly I hope they reveal more about what he was up to and why he left, it's so rare adults on big cases like this disappear after so long and turn up having been alive the whole time.

[@onetiredempath]

And he wasn’t That far from where he disappeared

[@alisiabakerjb]

Great comment! I also would like to know what he was doing during those years to fully understand if he was feeling more ashamed to go back or he enjoyed his life by himself. Also, do we know if during that time he ever found a love interest? So, I'm as selfish as you.

[@SeanMoscardini]

@@alisiabakerjb some theories are floating around that because he lived with the same guy since 2013 he might have been gay, but I don't see it personally. Truly a mystery!

[@azulgaia7782]

I also wondered about what we used to call 'my roommate' before it was acceptable. Besides his sexuality, sounds like this guy really could have used some validation and mental health counseling. His poor sons.

[@canileaveitblank1476]

@@nomadscavenger that’s a lot of assumptions, for sure. ❤️🍀

[@brianpratt3224]

Mower of despair You got another novel title, Dr. Grande

[@ericjhaber]

These mysterious disappearance videos are my absolute favorite

[@karis7649]

Have always wondered about the outcome of this disappearance. Despite the tragedy of it all, I wonder if it’s sort of a relief to the family to know, after having been in the dark so long (I imagine it was a real sense of grief these several years) or if it’s a fresh wound to know the suicide was so recent. It’s almost as if he died twice for them. Heartbreaking really.

[@Cat-Smith]

I shout it like a fan singing along every time: “ONLY SPECULATING ABOUT WHAT COULD BE HAPPENING IN A CASE LIKE THIS!”

[@erockromulan9329]

Lol! Same!

[@Lopfff]

Lawnmower of Despair. I love that metaphor. If I ever disappear to start a new life in a band, that’s what I’ll name the band

[@milankatz9628]

He was spotted getting bagels and gas. We now know he left town but not with his car. Did somebody pick him up for a ride? Did he hitchhike? Did he take a taxi? How did he get out of town that Sunday morning?

[@milankatz9628]

I am now wondering if the male roommate that he had at the time of his sudden death (for almost 10 years) was his helper to disappear. Hmmm.

[@glow1815]

@@milankatz9628 great question. I feel he has helped has to be from a friend or the roommate on the plan or how else he has a roommate so fast

[@jamesroboyle]

@@milankatz9628 He let Robert live with him with out notifying the landlord of his presence. The landlord only found out he was living there after the fact.

[@Throatzillaaa]

I think he left for the same reasons. He may have even felt like a burden, and thought his disappearance would eventually improve the quality of life for his family, like perhaps he thought his wife could "do better" and find someone who could provide for them, financially. How tragic. I think he mowed the lawn and topped off the gas tank (and took care of the bills) before he left because he was simply trying to make home life as easy as possible for his wife. He knew he wouldn't be able to help out around the house anymore, but he knew he could atleast take care of some chores before departing.

[@mwheeler138]

I'm always fascinated by these stories of people that leave without notice and are found years later far from their original home dead. Like Theodore Conrad you robbed a bank 50 years ago and found years later having died with a family. There's no many questions I have. How did they do it, how they changed their name, where they worked, was it stressful, etc. We'll never know.

[@fastbreakreport]

This teacher in this story works at the same school I work at. And it’s insane just how much nobody knew who this dude actually was.

[@arinerm1331]

My Mower of Despair ran over my Non-Lethal Showerhead. Now I have to find another, but I will certainly check the package label carefully.

[@walpoleandworcester]

Never a dull day when you upload, Doc. Thanks for all your hard work!

[@aaronrientsma9552]

Doesn't he upload daily?

[@claudinejames7731]

Thank you Dr. Grande. This case is very sad. You give us a simple understanding of Mr. Hoagland that is profound.

[@onetiredempath]

The lawnmower metaphor at the end Really spoke to me and my personal frame of mind currently

[@andreasrau2161]

Good afternoon, Dr. Grande! Regarding the Hoaglands, every family has its ups and downs. I think that you are correct that Robert disappeared by choice after mulling over his latest "failure" regarding their son and unwillingness or inability to see his wife on her return from Turkey. The fact that she could afford such a trip suggests that their financial situation was not as bad as Robert imagined although it might not have been as good as Robert wished it was. As you pointed out, Robert took nothing with him that was necessary, such as clothing, money and his medication, which clinches the idea that his disappearance was impulsive. It seems that Robert was trying to run away from himself and somehow remained under the radar in this day and age of documentation and identity checks for nine years after he disappeared. My question is about his death. What did her ultimately die of? His previous medical condition that required medication or of a broken heart?

[@elliebellie7816]

It has been stated he died from a heart attack.

[@JWemm]

If he didn't resume a hypertension med, probably a stroke or a heart attack.

[@gracenurse3365]

The fact that the wife went on a trip doesn’t mean there weren’t money troubles. Many people go into debt by simply charging things… again and again : (

[@kelleybutler9203]

@@gracenurse3365 considering all the bills were paid, they had money in two different bank accounts plus Robert has almost 5,000. cash in his safe I don’t think his fears were realistic regarding the finance’s either.. Just like the undue shame and guilt he placed on himself because of his son’s issues with drugs he probably saw everything as bad when the actual reality wasn’t bad at all. It’s a sad situation.of a deeply depressed man who couldn’t handle stress but like he look at everything else, he probably thought it would look weak to go see a therapist or counselor for help. I wish he could’ve expressed himself more to his friend, he one he told he was feeling stressed. I’m sure if he’d explained more about how he was feeling that friend would’ve aided him in a finding mental health professional.

[@user-mc6zj2fx7m]

0:17 0:17 0:17

[@lindawilson4625]

"It's difficult to start a new life without comfortable shoes." LOL! Picture an actual LOL with a head shake. Love your humor even though Robert's situation (undeserved guilt and shame) and his final decision was so sad. Wonderful analysis...as usual!

[@marig9236]

I feel for his family. They either lived thinking he was dead or thinking he didn't love them anymore

[@cherieharley4532]

I like your take on it. What a waste of time they could have all had together. I wonder, since he lived nearby, if he watched them, or stalked their social media. I hope his family can get some peace and come towards your conclusion.

[@raenaldo]

He was found??? OMG

[@noahsotolongo]

First time catching an upload within the first few minutes. Keep up the high-quality and thoughtful content, Dr. Grande!

[@kohchangfarang]

Loved your sewing of a sentence and use of vocabulary & metaphors (mowing the grass of despair) in this analysis, nicely done.

[@azulgaia7782]

Love the grass mowing analogy. So thoughtful, you are. I'm returning from a vacation and the home maintenance looms. So, yeah, I kinda get Robert.

[@321okaygo8]

Can you analyze the suicide of DJ Twitch (he was on the Ellen talk show and previously from SYTYCD)? It just happened, but it's safe to assume details will soon be revealed.

[@georgehasleftthebuilding6621]

We can all relate to this on some level during a lifetime but don't act on it, ey Dr Grande. Humans are a complicated bunch.

[@kimgysen10]

I reckon that you have a good reason to feel shame when you run off from your wife and kid leaving them dumb founded and worried. Something tells me they knew though.

[@fuzzyfriendsrescuevoluntee3036]

Dr. Grande, you shouldn't link your good name/reputation with Upside. So many issues, would be too much to detail here. I tested it to see. Turned out the negative reviews were a more accurate description of the experience. So many are unable to cash out, the system simply "expiring" processing cash back check-ins. Suffice to say the app exclusively lists the more expensive locations yet the cash back is rarely delivered to the user for one reason or another.

[@ZYX84]

HELLOOOO!! DR. GRAND🧩E!! Very good to see & hear you.❤ I looked for your videos last night didn’t see one… But here you are bright and early this morning! I hope you’re handling some business out there in Delaware today!❤✨❤✨❤✨❤

[@kristiem1046]

Oh this is sad. I pray for others feeling this way. Depression and feelings of despair are never good. It’s like he gave up because it seemed to be a solution at the time. 😢 Prayers for those going through tough times and cannot seem to get out of it.

[@lastpme]

That is extremely cruel to do that too his wife and family. If I was a family member I don’t think I would be able to forgive him.

[@leahsantosuosso8121]

Teach and preach, Daddy Grande!

[@steph7738]

Daddy Grande! 😂😂

[@gazepskotzs4]

Yes, my daily dose of Dr. Grande arrived!

[@alisiabakerjb]

Love how deep a thinker you are!!!

[@ZYX84]

✨ Your story reminded me of the travels of Jack Kerouac.. I do wish as a young man he could’ve read those stories & perhaps realize this slightly differently. 🧐Thank you for telling his story Dr. G 🧩. That was very profound & so sad.😔 & this time of year people especially have different pressures and so on. My parents used to say, this too, shall pass. I think they got that from someone else though. 🙂Rest in peace ❤

[@thesongbird2383]

Dr. Grande - Thanks for covering this sad case. I had just viewed a televised program about Hoagland, but as of the filming, he'd simply disappeared. His wife, Lori, was still hoping for his return. So now we know the whole story. Excellent coverage and analysis! 👍💜🌵 P.S. - Would love to hear your analysis on very strange disappearance of college student, Jason Landry. It's a real mind bender to me. Thx

[@milankatz9628]

Jason Landry is a real mystery

[@ren17x50]

Never move to California with no job. Maybe Indiana or Idaho but not Cali

[@RealmCenter40]

Ideally getting a job regardless of where you live slots pretty high up on the priority list.

[@EasternDreamer615]

I am from a state like Indiana or Idaho and find it easier to find a good job in California than those states. Sadly, you need preexisting connections in most states to actually make a career.

[@NicoleS0913]

Hi! I’m always intrigued with these kind of stories. It has to be a lot harder now to disappear then years ago. I wonder if I’ve ever seen or talked to this guy though?! Rock Hill is less than 10 minutes from my home. Insane.

[@710carioca]

I am so happy I found this channel on KZbin ! I am not an expert at all but there is no hype or gimmicks and the content and opinions are always clinical, sober and on the point. Cheers !

[@lplp223]

Your emphasis of the “TO” in “link to Patreon” brings me joy inexplicably every time

[@celenacasciani8500]

What no humour today😆 unless I missed it....never the less great video

[@SeaBlue1976]

Greetings from Greece people dr Grande💙🇬🇷⛱️💙

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

KiaOra (Hello) from New Zealand

[@SeaBlue1976]

@@sixthsenseamelia4695 Γεια from Greece 💙💙💙💙

[@Hansgame]

i consider supporting you with every new video but is there another way to show my appreciation except patreon or buying merch? also i still would like to know if your book "harm reduction" is available in other languages than english ? otherwise, top video like always. at this point its hard to imagine a day without a dr. grande video. your content has become a daily routine like brushing my teeth or having coffee (only thing i wish for, is more uploads to the bella grande channel) 🙂 👍

[@Sunchild_26]

Bravo 👏 excellent video doc! I heard about this case earlier and thought he commuted suicide…unfortunately he brought an end to his life in other ways so sad!

[@helpyourcattodrive]

Interesting. Thanks, Grande. I appreciate it.

[@brockjensen2473]

Hello Dr. Grande,I love the channel! I’m just curious are you actively practicing as a counselor or do you mostly just create content for us on KZbin? It’s crazy the amount of effort you put into each case you analyze for us so I’m just wondering if you’re somehow doing that on top of a daily practice?

[@dalepointer9414]

Like Mateo Sabog, Master Sgt. deserted the Army just short of retirement in Vietnam. The Army had been his home. His name is on the Wall in Washington as missing in combat. He applied years later for Social Security and was found out. Or Captain William Howard Hughes, for no known reason, deserted the Airforce and took a new identity and was discovered four decades later.cYe severed 45 days in the stockade and was released. Why? They had everything: retirement, great jobs and future. Each made a radical life change.

[@amandamarshall1204]

Yikes I live in Rock Hill! Creepy

[@darklorddisco]

And I’m from Newtown!

[@amandamarshall1204]

@@darklorddisco where is that?

[@darklorddisco]

@@amandamarshall1204 Connecticut, the town where he disappeared from

[@amandamarshall1204]

@@darklorddisco oh i missed that part

[@brendatomlinson]

@@darklorddiscoI’ve been intending to compare his disappearance date with the Sandy Hook school massacre. I would imagine the Sandy Hook residents experienced mass PTSD after that tragedy. Robert strikes me as a sensitive soul, maybe a person who kept emotions bottled up. Maybe that contributed to his decision to leave. EDIT: It looks like he left before the school shooting. Nevermind.

[@barbieblue3336]

Please analyze Patty Prewitt, Missouri. Case on dr phil

[@manewland1]

Thanks as always, Dr. Grande!

[@m.f.richardson1602]

Always interesting. Thank you Peace 💕🇺🇲

[@btetschner]

It would be interesting to see a history of what happens when people start a new life. I would imagine that they get really lonely and depressed. I can imagine that this guy became so discouraged by his never-ending challenges in his family and society that he just wanted to get away from it.

[@lyndahadley2352]

Spoken like a true professional!! Thank you Dr. Grande for this video. I think you were right on target with this analysis.

[@carolynsilvers9999]

Why did Robert hide the computers in the car?🤔

[@milankatz9628]

To keep his drug using son from taking them and selling for quick cash.

[@littlemissliv100]

It’s so cruel that he just left without saying anything. Especially abandoning her at the airport

[@carolynsilvers9999]

Thoughtful that he filled tank, paid bills and mowed lawn before disappearing.

[@youtubehandle-]

Thanks Dr. Grande, great analysis was hoping you would cover this case. ❤

[@Somegirl811]

I feel it would be nice to remind us how much time has elapsed between major events. Im not over here jotting down the timeline so i need a little recapping at various points of the story. So many interruptions at home.

[@MyMediterranean1]

excellent explanation from the great doctor…I agree with you… thanks Doctor Grande

[@nafowler]

This was a nice analysis.

[@Elcostagus]

Wow..this one is scary.. I think Robert and I have the same character arc.

[@My.pronouns.areF_you_and_F_off]

I empathize with him completely.

[@greenbrain8725]

That was a very thoughtful analysis.

[@rachaelhume1818]

I really liked the grass continuing to grow metaphor.

[@zzbeasley]

As you suggest how do you start a new life without your comfy loaders, or a mysterious room mate? You lay out all the clues and questions that arise but what did the mysterious room mate say?

[@pricklypear7516]

What makes the most sense to me is that Robert lived his entire life in the closet and then decided to come out. If his "guilt and shame" led him to deny his sexuality for so long, he might well have decided not to inflict the "stigma" on his family.

[@zzbeasley]

@@pricklypear7516 Great point. I hope Dr Grande will comment.

[@milankatz9628]

@@pricklypear7516 Never thought about this. No new family but a male roommate. Hmmmmm

[@lnc-to4ku]

What an amazing video, Dr. Grande!,♡ I've always found it very sad just how much a lot of men tie their whole self worth with being financially successful

[@judytaylor3099]

You are so right. My husband measured his self worth with his bank account. He thought having money would fix everything….it fixed nothing.

[@gregevans6044]

“Most men live lives of quiet desperation.” I think that was Thoreau.

[@Claytone-Records]

He tried the old ‘Geographical Cure’. Seems to have had a fair run having started over with nothing. Unfortunately this type of cure rarely works.

[@milankatz9628]

It worked for 10 years, only to be unearthed by sudden death.

[@reesemorgan2259]

Never heard the term "geographical cure" before. Made me smile. I would like to try it myself right now. Like half the people on this message board...

[@Claytone-Records]

@@reesemorgan2259 I think the term originated in AA or NA. There is something to be said for it. I’ve done it a couple times and one of those times I probably would not have survived if I had not done so.

[@reesemorgan2259]

@@Claytone-Records "Life is too hard for most people" Germaine Greer. Not very poetic or profound, but it comforts me knowing an academic (with detachment) has observed and noted. Meh. Life goes on..

[@Claytone-Records]

@@reesemorgan2259 And apparently life is too boring for another portion of the populace so they do something crazy and make their life… needlessly hard. : ).

[@larissacastillo6960]

Did his wife not work or something? Why was he so pressured to be the provider for his family?

[@goldenstategabe]

Great content Dr. G! Can you examine the life and personality of TherapyGecko?

[@loismiller2830]

This one should have been titled "Lawnmower of Dispair". Great analysis ad always.

[@HD-qm1qd]

I think Robert Hoagland picked the perfect alias of “Richard King” because he definitely was a “Dick.”

[@milankatz9628]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cottontails9003]

Dr Grande I have to agree with your analysis. It's the only one that makes sense. Thank you Dr Grande. Excellent analysis and informative topic. Once again thank you Dr Grande, you are the best.

[@zenawarrior7442]

Hi friend. Hope all is well with you. Mum was much better today...always makes me feel better 🥰💫🎁😊💕. Have a wonderful day....🤗🌼🍀🫖🌝

[@cottontails9003]

@@zenawarrior7442 Hello my lovely friend. Yes I am sending love and lots of hugs to you and your mum. Have been running around trying to get Christmas presents. Would you believe Noah is seven months old. The twins are home, they don't realize is can hear them teaching Noah how to annoy mama . Lol.😂 😜😚❤💙💖✉🍵🌷🌸🌹🍀

[@donprice9050]

How did Robert die? Did I miss that?

[@brettnorris7477]

Can you analyze the case of Kierra Jackson? From Princeton WV

[@onceuponatimeinamovie3577]

I was watching Wednesday on Netflix and I was wondering if you could analyze her case just for fun ? The character portrayed by Ortega. You’re the best !

[@elizabethkelly2987]

What a sad, sad man. It sounds like he just wanted relief from a situation where there was a lot of stress and not much fulfillment. When the police asked his wife if everything was okay between them she said something like "Yes, we were planning our retirement." That may have seem like a death knell to this man who was struggling to be a provider and had had an up-and-down relationship with his wife: his future all mapped out. Meanwhile, the drug-addict son was spending/stealing money as fast as the dad could earn it. That must've seemed like two steps back when those two computers disappeared - like, how many hours of a boring job did he have to put in to pay for those, and now they're gone?

[@heronpage3883]

That's what I thought. It was said that he changed careers so that he could spend more time with his kids. And then this is what one of his kids does? Steals and repeatedly goes back to doing drugs. He'd been through rehab and yet here he was doing drugs again, stealing, gets arrested for trespassing. It just might have been where he thought nothing is working.

[@glowgreen3]

I’ve watched like 20 of this awesome dudes videos & I’ve never even seen his hands. Dude has ice water in his veins he’s as cool as they make em

[@mariequinn370]

This is so very sad ... How could he have coped better to avert the behavior that lead to an inescapable conviction of shame and guilt??!

[@clammer23]

I grew up in Stratford, CT then I bought a condo in Bridgeport, CT in 2006 with my 1st wife. She didn't last long, but I lived in Bridgeport after the divorce and lived in Bridgeport, CT according to when Dr. Grande said this happened. I don't recall any of this being big news, or even being on the local news for that matter. Thanks for covering it Dr. Grande.

[@glow1815]

If nobody calls the news station you're not going to hear it lol

[@ap6122]

I’m sorry to hear you lived in Bridgeport.

[@mangore623]

His disappearance simply wouldn’t have been possible without the aid of his roommate/friend David. When David bought a house, he asked Robert to join him, and only asked that he pay for the utilities. David gave him a phone, and the bill was in his name. They’d have Sunday dinners together. When you add it all up, perhaps David was aware of Roberts true identity. As well, how was he able to work, drive, etc. without ID? As difficult as he might have found his former life, the stress of his new life contributed to his premature death, most certainly. One of the saddest stories I’ve stumbled across in years.

[@ianpeddle6818]

Staggers me how often booze or drugs are commonly causes for mayhem. Considering how tobacco has been suppressed yet there aren’t many instances of people running riot murdering and causing mayhem under the influence of a Marlboro. Why isn’t the same status applied to all booze and drugs as applied to tobacco they cause equally bad damage. Money I guess.

[@KellyUnique]

He wanted to live his truth

[@michaelperez9966]

I live near Rock Hill, New York and it annoys my when people call the Hudson Valley upstate New York. If you think Sullivan County is upstate New York, then you’ve never been to upstate New York. Also, look at a map of New York because Rock Hill is very much near the bottom of the state.

[@reckenralph8282]

I think mowing the lawn was his last “gift” to the family. He knew what he was going do

[@leilamcnamara9218]

Thank you Dr Grande. 🙏🌈💫