Told Niece She's "Like One Of My Kids" Then Didn't Help Her Financially r/AmITheA**hole

[@brandi5126]

First story: yta. Having your parents die before you can establish yourself as an adult is extremely difficult. I think it was good to help her out at 17 but you definitely should not say she was like your daughter when you couldn’t be a guarantor for her to try to get a place of her own. She should distance herself some because she isn’t your charity trophy. She is a young adult that is working hard to be secure but doesn’t have parents there for her to help her get there sooner.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: YTA. Nina is right, OP gave her niece expectations of being treated like one of her kids. Nina isn't asking for anything. She just rightly feels lied to and forgotten. She literally has no parents, grandma left her with nothing, and the one person who told her she could rely on didn't mean actually mean it.

[@tamsel814]

I really hope she got a good friend support system. Cause the way her family treats me seems pretty toxic to me.

[@chrishaselden]

It's hard to know for sure, but I wonder if the reason it all went to him is that grandma thought he would treat her as his child.

[@Mewse1203]

@Melody Ackerman that's a good point. OP isnsuch an asshole.

[@fytrndm]

@Melody Ackerman He said the amount he sent over the years amount to half the cost of the house. However, if he was still renting the house, isn't Nina entitled to half the rental amount? So, he should've been sending her half of the monthly rent while she was growing up and then give her half of what her mother would've inherited if she was still alive. I mean, if he really did care, he would've taken the time to ensure Nina had the same opportunities as his children such as setting up college fund as well as a trust fund for what should have been her half of inheritance. I guess Nina's grandmother trusted her son a little too much.

[@CreeperOnYourHouse]

I have to disagree, for 1 reason: Signing up as a guarantor for a loan or rent is not the same as giving someone money. If they fail to pay rent, or the loan, then the onus ends on you, you have to pay it, it negatively impacts your credit, and it's all on you, no way out. If you give someone money to buy something, however, there's no way that can come back down the line to bite you in the credit line later on, even if they never pay you back.

[@minnie3434]

Guys pay closer attention to story 1. She didn't ask for money. She asked for him to be a guarantor, so she could pay her own way.

[@DivaViews]

Still didn't have to do so.

[@Tues48]

@@DivaViews and since he doesn't have to, he gets to face the emotional consequences. She can cut him off.

[@Flufferz626]

@@DivaViews it is just a signature. If his credit is so awful that one signature will throw it off then he isn't one to brag about finances. Also all that cash? Wth does he do for a living to have a bad credit score but that much cash? Also there was her deceased mom, and another aunt (presumably another sister) but OP gets 100% of the inheritance? And the women get nothing? Lol

[@DivaViews]

@@Tues48 if she wants to misconstrue the circumstances, she is welcome to do so.

[@DivaViews]

@@Flufferz626 It is more than a signature and you are making a lot of assumptions based on your own POV.

[@15oClock]

1. Nina is like one of OP's kids, just not his favorite. I guess she realizes she realizes that now. 2. Jess could use some cheering up, but not this. Her entitled mom needs to step up on this. 3. It didn't take much to get me on OP's side. Most people don't wanna be woken up by drunkards. 4. Sarah's body should've been respected, not made to fit an aesthetic. How unprofessional! 5. "Who turns down work"? That's the logic OP says is good enough to endanger his custody arrangement?

[@KittenUndercover]

Story 1 - I was Nina and I have cut off my family because of it (though to be fair, my family was worse). OP needs to think about the emotional repercussions of his actions rather than just the financial ones.

[@Maadhawk]

*hugs*

[@Jamie-gc9cp]

but he said she was LIKE one of his kids not that she IS one of his kids

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA It was very obviously a SENIOR trip. They made the requirements very clear. SIL is being extremely rude and entitled to think she gets to make the decisions and get angry when her forced plan doesn't work. I can tell you from experience that a 14/15 year old is not the same as a 17/18 year old. They are just starting to mature and still need supervision in some aspects.

[@judyjohnson9610]

OP is more than reasonable making it a Senior trip

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Plus let's be real, no kid wants their hand held the whole trip, they'll have fun independence with their aunt and uncle going at an older age and can still do some activities with them as well. It's also a great thing for them to do before either going to college or jumping straight into a full time job

[@emilyrose9854]

I have a theory that the sister-in-law just wants to piggyback on this trip why else is she the one instigating this whole idea when she knows what goes on she's getting her kid hyped she's picking out all these places that I wouldn't be surprised her mother would like as well and then when everything's said and done like she's hoping to twist their arm they wouldn't be able to take the kid depending on where they're at because of legal reasons there are papers and forms that a parent can sign to allow their child to be in the custody of someone else especially if it's a family member it's a little easier transfer but it just very sus again she's the one implementing it and hyping it up not the daughter but if she's truly smart incoming she's not going to say anything about her wanting to go because she knows that would make her an ass but rejecting a child that's having hard times to wait another three years when things have been absolute hell they would be considered monsters in the family group to some extent but it backfired because the other kids supported it and even her own child said even though she was bummed to wait she understood this is probably why OP doesn't take smaller children like they said moving young kids around internationally or even nationally that aren't yours is rather difficult and parents would try to use the excuse to come with we seen these stories before

[@CameoAmalthea]

Story 1: YTA as a legal orphan (abandoned before 18) it is HARD to find housing without parents to act as a guarantor. I lived in the dorms during undergrad and that added a lot to the cost of college. She needed a parent to be a guarantor and he refused! She worked two jobs while getting through university and that’s her problem. Meanwhile her cousin has everything paid for and can take her time getting through college? She’s clearly not loved the same way and that hurts.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 2- NTA as a parent I think a senior trip is a cool tradition and I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not want to take someone under 17 on vacation with you. Plus you can do more stuff when you’re older. Also if the kid is 18 there’s a lot less paperwork to do if you’re travelling abroad.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 1: You are a MAJOR AH! She wasn't even asking for money, she was just asking you to sign as guarantor. And if you were so concerned all you had to do was mention it and ask her not to let you down. The fact that she went to get a second job shows she is responsible and trustworthy. Also - you don't tell someone they are like a daughter unless you absolutely bloody mean it.

[@jackspring7709]

@@availanila I believe so. I feel very bad for her: it would be interesting to see who OP can rely on when he becomes vulnerable in later years. Orphaned, too - which has a devastating effect as it is: the fact that she was able to get through life as normally as possible despite losing both parents is a testament to her character. OP is an ass - a real ass. P.S. the grandmother having deserted her too was pretty sickening.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

I will bet good money that he only made the statement of considering her as one of his children just to make himself look good. He is only concerned about money. Too bad there won't be any ghosts to visit on Christmas eve to show him the error of his ways. Demons, maybe. But who knows? The niece has done the right thing for herself. She is not going to be anywhere she is not wanted.

[@jackspring7709]

@@untiedshoelaces2588 He definitely gives that impression - that he said it to look good. And as for Dickensian ghosts visiting him at Christmas - maybe karma.

[@CatacombD]

@@jackspring7709 I'm unsold on this take. If OP were an evil, money grubbing bastard, who only cares about appearance, he didn't need to pay anything for her at all. There was no obligation for him to pay for all her expenses as she's growing up when another person has custody of her. He doesn't treat her exactly like she's one of his own children, but he certainly doesn't treat her like a stranger, and he treated her far more like his own kid than a lot of deadbeat or absentee dads do. He told her, "You're *like* one of my kids." Meaning, she is similar to his own kids. He didn't say, "I consider you my kid." Meaning, she is one of his kids. Just like there's a huge difference between telling a friend, "You are like family," and "You are family."

[@jackspring7709]

@@CatacombD I don't agree with you at all. When I tell someone they are like family I mean it. The difference between 'family' and 'like family' is obvious so don't even waste your time trying to explain something that's so obvious. He didn't mean what he said so he should have had the awareness including self awareness not to have said it. I never called him evil or a money grabber - don't insert things I never even said: as any responsible adult knows - you do NOT tell someone they are like family unless you mean it - and I will reiterate - she was only - ONLY - asking him to sign something as guarantor. She was not asking for money. He is a major AH.

[@mlapointej]

"Who turns down work?" Parents all the time when they're called in and they didn't already have somebody arranged to watch kids. When you're the person who's agreed to be there for your kid you need to be there. You only bail on your kid and leave them with someone else last second when you were supposed to have them if you legitimately wouldn't have enough money to take care of your kid without picking up the shift

[@nancyjay790]

My husband has dealt with stuff like this for years. All our children are special needs, and sometimes, they have had to go to hospital very suddenly. My husband tells every employer that his family comes first, always. A few times, we've had to do some quick job hunts, but our kids know they are the most important to us.

[@MrJpaynebb]

YTA. The ex is only going to go by the legal custody agreement OP signed off on from now on because according to him, OP, he keeps violating it. If OP has an issue then take it up in court.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Scrolled to find this comment. Glad someone made it, I thought I was alone on those feelings.

[@kaimikalaniYT]

“Lets face it, who turns down work?” I was the kid in Story 5’s situation. Not actually THAT kid but I was in a similar situation. I even asked my dad about what this guy said. We read the whole story and my dad and I both agreed he is a MAJOR A-hole. My dad never let me down, even if he had main custody... That last guy just really irked me, especially the whole “Who would turn down work??” My birth giver always turned me down, during our visitations and I never forgot it. And she only had me twice a week. And she didn’t even have a damn job. Screw parents like that.

[@Tokuijin]

1) YTA but also INFO: Was the family estranged from Nina's mother? If so, why? The fact that Nina was left nothing in the will combined with OP's wishy-washy behavior seems to suggest something far deeper. 2)NTA:The terms and reasonings are fair. 3)NTA: Yeah, I'd ask for a lock, too. 4) NTA: Said sister isn't going last long in the photography gig if she keeps doing things like that. 5) YTA: Honestly, unless he has some significant financial issues or back child support, Op should be meeting his custody agreements. The ex is being more than reasonable about the whole thing.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: YTA and so is grandma, why do you all want to ostracize an orphan? Your sister would be devastated, just, wow.

[@chrishaselden]

I almost wonder if the reason all of the inheritance went to him is because grandma thought that he would treat her as his child.

[@Tokuijin]

I was wondering something about that, like, was Nina's mother estranged from the family and, if so, why? There's definitely something deeper going on here that we're not seeing

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: why is he getting drunk and coming into her room? That gives me the heebie jeebies. NTA Also dad getting angry may not be helpful. He needs help. He's 19 with a drinking problem.

[@janet6421]

Getting a lock is not an overreaction. I think it is likely that father didn't know about the drinking or showing up in sister's room. When she asked father for a lock she told him why she wanted it. When father found out about creepy drunk behavior he "had words with brother". If you blame bad behavior on alcohol, no more alcohol for you. And your sister gets a lock to make sure you stop creeping.

[@songohan3321]

Is it me or does it seem kinda weird that the brother is mad about his sister needing a lock? This girl is going to need multiple locks.

[@Mewse1203]

@@songohan3321 not just KINDA. that gave me major sicko vibes

[@sprats1241]

Story 1: I initially wanted to go full YTA until reading a couple more times. It sounds like OP didn’t want to be a guarantor for the niece because he deals exclusively in cash with his own children. In fact, in most cases mentioned, his own children have to pay him back personal loans instead of them getting bank loans. Bank loans that actually help build a good credit history as long as they’re paid on time and his kids are losing out on that. Nina may actually be better off in the long run except for one thing. Maybe he paid half the value of the inherited house but he hasn’t set aside any of the profits for her from renting it out, still making him AH. Sadly, OP’s mother must has set her will to benefit only her direct surviving children without making allowances for any grandchildren if parents passed away.

[@DivaViews]

A voice of reason.

[@thedestroyasystem]

IMO the reason he's the asshole isn't because he refused to be her guarantor, it's because he set up unreasonable expectations. He shouldn't have told her he saw her as a daughter and then treat her very differently from his own kids. It's fine for him not to see her as a daughter, or not to be her guarantor. What's not fine is to say he does and then go back on his word (in reference to the daughter thing), and then get mad when niece withdraws.

[@teacheschem]

@@thedestroyasystem - I would guess he wouldn’t be the guaranteur fir his kids either. Loan them money but not credit. Maybe she should ask for a loan.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@teacheschem Perhaps. Though if she's financially stable atm it may not be the best idea to be indebted to him. I would argue he's still treating her differently tho since we don't know for sure he wouldn't sign for his kids, as well as the fact that if he wanted to help her he would've figured out some other way. Not that he has to, but again, false expectations. It would've been easy enough to go, "Hey, I don't really deal in credit, but would it be helpful for me to give you a loan so the initial payments are covered, and you can pay me back later?" Point being he's going above and beyond for his kids and leaving her out while claiming that he sees them the same.

[@marukouga135]

Here's hoping we'll get our waffle plushies soon! (As always, never rush and may everyone have a day full of joy today! 😁)

[@MarkNarrations]

You too Maruko :)

[@nancyjay790]

Waffle plushies!!

[@wildlifesymphony]

Would ttly buy one, even if I'd prolly have to argue with my foster dogs not to play with it XD

[@TheNormExperience]

@@wildlifesymphony haha! If I did my niece would absolutely steal it so I’m right there with you. Her mom learned that the hard way when she lost all her eevee-lution plushies to her daughter recently - it’s forgivable though because there’s nothing cuter than a 3 year old mini geek correctly naming all the evolutions as she tucks them in for bedtime in front of her 2 geek parents that are bursting with pride :) I hope we get to see pics when they arrive from the lucky ones who ordered them tho!

[@wildlifesymphony]

@@TheNormExperience haha my niece loved pokemon so much, I made pokeballs of different kinds for xmas one year... I was making xmas ornaments for my close friends and fam, and just turned a few into pokeballs. Fam and friends wanted the pokeballs more than my etched fancy adult ones I gifted them.😂🙄🤣 But best moment was when niece threw a masterball at her mum and had to explain it was a complement because she cared about her SO MUCH, that she was willing to use the MB to make sure she wouldn't lose her.... Had to explain geek talk to sis... She wanted to throttle me the first day niece came home singing the opening song to the original pokemon. Hahaha

[@ArmyOfFreaks]

Story 4. Just because she tells you she feels bad about what she did doesn't mean you have to forgive her. I wouldn't and I would buy elsewhere. Tell her, her actions have consequences and losing his business is just a consequence of being a body shaming jerk

[@Davtwan]

Army Of Freaks - God forgives. People don’t always do. Sometimes you gotta live with the mistakes you made even if you’re genuinely sorry.

[@tonyblake7569]

Personally I think esh, op more than his sister. No her feeling bad doesn't mean she should just be forgiven but like op said her website has a certain aesthetic. Op knew she had a specific style to what she does with her photos and never said he didn't want it. This would be like knowing someone that draws caractures, asking them to draw your picture, not asking for a normal picture, and being upset they drew I'm the style they were known for. Plus she offered to the issue and give him what he asked for. If he went to someone he didn't know, make an agreement to pay a specific amount for what he wanted, they were able to give him what he wanted but he decided not to use her photos for any reason so decided not to pay her she could sue and most likely win since he would get what he agreed to pay for. Way I see it she only did it because that's the style she does her photos, not to make her feel bad. Again doesn't mean they have to forgive her but imo if you order something and they give you what you asked for even if they had to correct an issue you should still pay for it.

[@gcra-luma2145]

Wow- I feel so incredibly sorry for Nina in story 1. Both parents tragically dead by the time she is 3, Her Aunt had to be paid to raise her, grandma left her nothing, and OP claims she is like one of his own children yet stopped paying for her to be housed at 17, not even legal adult age, Yet showers his blood children with financial help. Does no one love this poor girl?! OP sounds like he paid her aunt to give a damn until near adult age as a sense of familial duty. That wouldn't make him an AH except he claimed she was like one of his kids, that's not cool when you don't mean it/ won't help this kid like you really would one of your own.

[@Jamie-gc9cp]

he said like not that she actually is.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 2: He’s not a drinker, he’s an alcoholic. OP is NTA. The brothers anger is irrational

[@judyjohnson9610]

Not an excuse, but it could be that he doesn't remember what he does when he comes home drunk. He definitely needs an intervention and sister needs a lock on her door.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@Gi Gi Because if he didn't remember and someone is telling him he did these things, he would be feeling unjustly accused

[@judyjohnson9610]

@Gi Gi I will admit to being a little busy at something else while listening, but it was my understanding that it was the first time the OP told her father that her brother came into her room.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@Gi Gi OK Absolutely agree that the brother could be heading down the wrong road if he doesn't shape up

[@dragolia1603]

I know this isn't relate but I think you mean story 3

[@memorysdancer]

Story 1. I was the niece, albeit at an older age. So I completely feel what she's feeling because that's exactly how my family has been treating me. It's hurtful and it's incredibly sad when you're already alone enough in the world and relying on yourself. Unfortunately I come from a place where distancing myself from them isn't a possibility but I hope that she can do that. ❤ I wish her well, she sounds like a survivor and a fighter already so I hope she thrives ❤ As for that uncle I hope that he gets Karma thrown at him hard.

[@dawnmcanany5673]

Story 2 - Who else thinks when it comes for the niece's senior trip, her mother is going to try to tag along on the trip and expect them to pay of it?

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Me I was also thinking about this.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 5: He said he doesn’t need to work, but still does over taking in his daughter who he has for such little time anyway. I’m a mom with a 4 month old baby. I’ve need asked to work shifts sometimes. I turn it down. Because I want to be with my son. I could take them. But I don’t

[@Puppeteer007]

Yeah, I thought that was terrible. When his daughter grows up and realizes he chose work over her (and she'll eventually figure that out because, if he doesn't start changing now, she's going to realize there's a pattern of behavior!), he's going to lose any kind of relationship with her. Like you said, I can't understand why he'd want to work when he only gets a few days with her. PSA!!! Don't have kids if you don't want to spend time with them!!!

[@dash9641]

@@Puppeteer007 I get when you're saying but I doubt what happened will be that deep in the long run, who is even going to remember that? When she's 17 and someone's gonna be like, "Remember when your father chose work over you when you were little?!" Um no mom, I dont and why are you still holding that over someone's head? All the other stuff though I get. 9 days out of the entire year isn't all that bad but he really should have just spent time with his daughter instead of taking an optional day at work.

[@Puppeteer007]

@@dash9641 I say that only because I was the daughter in this position, around the same age and everything, and I still remember. I don’t know maybe she won’t, not everyone’s the same, I’m just saying it out of experience

[@dash9641]

@@Puppeteer007 And that's perfectly fine, I'm sorry you had to deal with stuff like that. My dad is pretty absent and chooses work over my sibs too. Here's hoping that kiddo won't remember stuff like that when she's older.

[@Puppeteer007]

@@dash9641 Definitely hope so! No child deserves an absent parent

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 5: We had that kind of visitation two days with our father. He didn't feed us enough because he wouldn't by any thing with out a coupon and we where not around enough to factor in to his food shopping, Only had one bed for my brother I slept in the living room with windows with vary sparse curtains that never got dark enough for deep sleep because of the apartment parking lot out side the window. Us going lasted maybe 3 months before he was draged back to court and got told off with upped child support

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 1:* YTA. I've literally gotten to a point where I tell people not to say they see me as a sister/daughter. Ophaned and abused children severely lack a sense of belonging and unconditional love. All you want in life is to have a family like every other person you know does. When someone you love and trust tells you that they see you as family, only to push you away when it inconveniences them hurts. A lot. You can be there for her and you *have been,* I'm not ignoring the 15 years of financial support, but do not trick someone into thinking you love them like your own child, only to conveniently point out you aren't actually their parent when it inconveniences you. Because it hurts. A lot. Just say you'll be there for her when you can be. Don't lie.

[@itjustmemanning8441]

Story three. The brother is a 19 year old alcoholic. The father should be able to see that and get his son help. NTA op your doing what you need to do. Hope things work out for you ❤.

[@13thMaiden]

Story 2) I was promised a trip to Yellowstone by my Granny when I graduated highschool. Guess who graduated college 2 times and STILL hasn't seen Yellowstone, and said Granny is now in an assisted living so will never be able to do so. That's just how life goes and you just deal with it cause they are the ones who make the rules if they're the ones offering the trip (even if it never comes). Seriously that parents is so choosing beggar/entitled they probably have a karen haircut and can't step outside without screaming for a manager. That or she wears diapers still cause she's acting like a damn baby throwing a tantrum while the actual _child_ is bummed but gets it!!

[@mischiefart1032]

First story.....if he is telling her she is one of him kids, but then treat her like an outsider....... someone said this to me after my dad died and then left...didnt look back.

[@Oatmealism]

I think people are overlooking a major detail, his own kids any time they barrow money from their father, they are paying him back, and that he seems very intent on keeping good credit and helping his kids get good credit too. While yes, I think he could be doing more for his niece, is it also possible that he is giving her a mercy because if he helped her, she'd be in debt to him and have to pay him back just like his own kids do? It's not like he's handing things out and expecting nothing in return.

[@Flufferz626]

@@Oatmealism lol he never said his kids paid him back fully.

[@DivaViews]

@@Flufferz626 He said they are paying back.

[@philwill0123]

@@Oatmealism then why doesnt he just pay cash and draw up an arrangement to pay back? Guarantor for a place to live is a necessity for younger people with no n existent credit and he promised himself as a father figure.

[@Flufferz626]

@@DivaViews at 31 years old his son gets a car paid in full?! I am 30 and expected to purchase my own vehicle. I don't have a Pablo Escobar father who has awful credit but plenty of cash. How can his kids establish credit if he buys everything in full for them? She just wants a signature, is an orphan, has no one else.

[@MrMrSockhead]

Day: 100! Of telling Mark that he is wonderful and deserves the world ❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You made it too 100 that's so cool congrats 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@MarkNarrations]

Day 100! Wow Dead :)

[@marukouga135]

This committment is absolutely astounding.

[@badkitty4922]

Wooooohooooo!!! Made it to day 100!! WTG!!😘😘💖💖🙏🙏💋💋👍👍👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

[@AdeW-B]

Like I said before, you are an absolute G.

[@dd-kapibara1070]

You are the type of person with a mindset and temperament that suits parenthood, it's refreshing hearing your input on these cases 🥰

[@genjiz6277]

Story 1: OP basically cut his niece off first. He gave his niece unrealistic expectations by saying something he did not really mean. Moreover, even if he did not mean what he said, he did not help her even as her unlce, as family, when he even stated that they were very close. And for what? For just being a guarantor to someone who is not only reliable, but also a family member who he was supposedly very close with.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: I am glad OPs dad is taking their side and seeing the problem for what it is. OPs brothers behavior is scary, more so for a woman. A drunk older man has easy access to her room in a state that sober him knows gets a softer pass for his assholeness, We are lucky this story didn't drop hints Brother was hurting OP. I would hate to hear in the update that Drunk Brother tried or was able to brake the new lock

[@gorkemaykut5230]

it doesn't even need a woman in this story to realize that it's a big problem, if my brother were to come home late at night (past 3 am) consistently drunk then he would be sleeping on the door till morning cause no one gonna open the door to him and keys will be in the lock ''sorry I was drunk'' is not an excuse especially if its a recurring problem

[@songohan3321]

Every time I hear the word "nibbling", I think someone is getting eaten.

[@memorysdancer]

I can't unsee this comment now 😄😄

[@AKilahVamp]

Hi Mark, hope you and you family are doing ok. I remember how hectic things were the following days after my dad's passing. And you are seeming to be doing much better than I was doing. Much condolences hun.

[@MarkNarrations]

Thank you so much Muteteli :)

[@louellacharlton4425]

Mark hope the sunshine finds you today my friend. As usual fabulous stories. You are truly gifted in finding what we need to hear. Stay safe

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@shanittathompson2039]

I hope there is an Update to story 1.

[@lillithherondale1972]

story 5 YTA. my dad would pick football over me as a kid. when i would come over on his days with me he would go out and party, just putting me in front of the computer as a 12 year old and wasn't home until really late(1-3am) i hated it. i still hold it against him and he still does it at times. i'm 22 now and have gotten to the point where we don't talk unless he reaches out first because i grew tired of being the one to reach out. he's also missed plenty of birthdays, holidays and special things like band concerts for partying with his mates and due to military.

[@missluciddreams3472]

It's been a rough year already but I'm glad we have Mark to tell us stories. Congrats on 60k...much love 💕

[@ciderxera4963]

"Who turns down work" A parent who rather spend the day with their child, and CAN afford it

[@bambi3001]

Hey Mark! Nice to see you made it to 60k. I just know more ppl will join to listen to you, because you are a wonderful person and creator. Keep up the good work!

[@lillithherondale1972]

the lock one. NTA. i don't have male siblings but i have a step father and he doesn't enter my room or open my door (whether if im in it or not) as respect for my privacy. any time he needs me he comes to my door and talks or comes in when i say he can. he needed a hanger from my room and i was busy doing something so told him to go ahead and grab it. he wouldn't even open the door until he had permission to go grab the hanger. you don't just barge into someones bedroom, especially (in my opinion) someone not the same gender as your own, hell, even someone of your own gender actually now that i think about it. be polite

[@akkidarkness4824]

Story 1 reminds me of something that happened with my paternal grandmother when I was back in college; similar request of co-signing for student oans, because my parents were not allowed to do it; no living-with relatives. The answer of no was not the problem, I understood it, but it was the long email she sent me telling me all the horrible and awful things I would do to her and cause her if she did it. This isn't including the duration of my childhood, and my sisters', of insulting us or calling us bad children to either our faces or our mother's; then pretending to my father's and late grandfather's faces that she didn't do anything wrong. And she wonders why ever since that I don't want to talk to or see her...

[@destinysphinx27]

Story 3: bro thinks getting a lock is an overreaction... I'd say forget the lock and get a taser instead, a few volts from that may get him to ask for help with his alcohol abuse.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

😹😹😹😹 Yes

[@pansprayers]

Story 2: NTA, but the SIL is an entitled mess. I refuse to vacation with children. The standard has already been set, and it's not her money. She can pay for the trip halfway across the planet, and she can arrange the visas, figure out how to navigate the new normal, and do it herself. I'd take kiddo, but it would be under the same terms as everyone else.

[@Sebastian_the_Tripod]

This is what kills me he sat there and is like I've already done my part by helping pay for her. He paid for his children to grow up as well now hes piling additional financial gifts and assistance on top of it. He cut off his financial assistance to his niece at 17 yet he still helping his adult children.

[@bluexwings]

#4 Fellow T1D here, some of that compulsive eating is due to unstable blood sugar. Especially lows can make you feel completely desperate for food, like you haven't eaten in days. It really sucks and on top of that insulin makes you gain weight. I really feel for OP's wife. Shame of the sister!

[@superwalkthourghnato]

I was with op in the last story until he said who turns down work. That was when I was like, "Oh yeah he's the asshole."

[@alenasenie6928]

Story 1, one of my aunts have never said to any of us that we are like her kids, but she has treated us like we are, she helped my cousin with university when she needed it, she has given me a little extra money per month while I am studying even when my mom can do everything because it helps with the monetary burden, and, to show it isn't just about money, when my mother couldn't watch us for work she and my grandma did take care of me and my brother, she help me to learn how to cook when I was a kid, she found ways to keep us occupied and helping a little in the house while teaching us about how to care a household, she has been like a parent, I feel it like that, and I have both my parents alive, and my mother is an awesome parent, when my mother asked what I would do if she wasn't here to help me with the cost of education I immediately thought about my aunt, how I know she would help with it, even if I had, in this hypothetical situation, find a part time job, I know the basics would be cover, either by her or by a combination of people in my family, that has made that I was never worried about financial issues while growing, but also I was financially conscious because what she and my mother taught me, not waste money and do the most with the least.

[@danilapetrova1178]

Stretching to my daily dose of Mark Narrations! Stay strong Mark and thanks for keeping this up

[@XxxBelladonna]

This was a perfect timing for having some sound and enjoyment while eating my dinner, thank you, Mark!

[@vampire9545]

When I didn't accept work I didn't have to, they stopped offering it which hurt our finances in the long term

[@groofromtheup5719]

Story 1; NEVER CO-SIGN!!!! That is potentially an absolute disaster. Don't co-sign for anything you would not be willing to pay fully for, because that is what it very well may boil down to. Seriously, never co-sign for any loan, even for family. I would much rather pony up for a down-payment than to co-sign, even for my own actual kids. This doesn't even have anything to do with credit ratings. For example; you co-sign for a car, you owe the remaining balance if it gets totaled and insurance doesn't cover it because the niece was doing something stupid.

[@femalepapyrus]

Story 4 If the sister did this to a stranger you better bet their be a bad review on their website

[@EuphemineYuki]

English isn't my first language so I usually struggle to follow the stories, but I still enjoy hearing your views on them!

[@HoneyBats]

Giving them money to use on their own credit and putting his name on her apartment is very different. It’s his credit on the line not hers. That’s the difference, love like a child and forking over money are very different things.

[@fcold9402]

1. Parents should never be guarantors on loans for their kids. Pay with cash or not at all. So i do not fault OP for that, but he could help her with a little cash like he does with his own kids.

[@Flufferz626]

He is a guarantor on a security deposit. Not a cosigner for a loan.

[@fcold9402]

@@Flufferz626 OK, in that case, if all he would be out is the security deposit if she didn't pay and wouldn't be responsible for damages or interest then I am not sure why he just didn't do it. The problem with signing for loans is, no matter how good the person seems, things can come up and they can let things drop and then eventually people start coming after you for the money. No one should put themselves in that sort of situation that can spiral out of control. Better to loan your own money and only loan an amount you are willing to lose.

[@Slicksterpat]

Story 3 NTA and the next time he calls you a baby call him a fucking drunk.

[@RagingRaven88]

First Story: The girl was orphaned, got a scholarship, graduated college, has two jobs, and has her own place. She needed you then but is thriving without you. I think that is what is really killing you.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

That poor little girl, she's at an age where unless mommy lies and tell her daddy was super busy (which still may not work), she'll believe she's not enough for daddy and it'll hurt her a lot.

[@KarinaCappucci]

Day 1 of telling Mark that his content gets me through my worst days ❤️

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww thanks Karina :)

[@aikikaname6508]

How the fuck is OP 1 TA? He’s letting her live with him as an adult, provided for her growing up, but because he’s not paying out loads of money. She’s acting entitled quite frankly, and saying someone’s ‘like a kid’ is different from adopting someone or saying ‘you ARE one of my kids’ or formally adopting them. I’ve had people say ‘you’re like a sister to me’ but it’d be insane if I expected them to bail me out like they’d do a sibling

[@dragonleheart2137]

The lock on the bedroom story begs the question of why the brother is so obsessed with his sister’s room having a lock? Is he hiding drugs in her bedroom? Watching her sleep? Doing something even worse? There is likely a much greater problem here that OP should not have to deal with alone.

[@CreeperOnYourHouse]

Story 1: NTA Signing up as a guarantor for a loan or rent is not the same as giving someone money. Everyone saying YTA doesn't understand the fundamental differences between her request and everything he gave to his kids. If they fail to pay rent, or the loan, then the onus ends on you, you have to pay it, it negatively impacts your credit, and it's all on you, no way out. You're forced to pay the rent in their stead, if they fail to, and if you don't you lose credit. If you give someone money to buy something, however, there's no way that can come back down the line to bite you in the credit line later on, even if they never pay you back. If something happens, oh well, you're in the clear.

[@hlcooper]

Story 2: NTA I have a niece and three nephews and I have promised when they each turn 12/13 they will go with me to Disney world (big trip since we are all in New Zealand “. Both sets of parents know and are fine with this and wouldn’t try to push the age down so they can go earlier. I actually have specific reasoning for the specific ages - they will be old enough to spend a whole day at the parks, won’t need naps, will be tall enough (hopefully) for the rides and are easier to manage at that age compared to their current ages (9,8,4, 1 and a half) It’s nice that the OP does this and the sister is being out of line with what she is doing

[@Alyrulz421]

Story 1: I remember my stepmom pulled the "you're like a daughter to me" on me once, right before telling me that I had no friends because I smelled so bad. YTA big time

[@Gerilyn2003]

Girl with the drunk brother - he wakes you up at 4-5 am when he gets home; you should burst in and wake him up when your alarm goes off (6-8 am I'm guessing?). Fairs fair, right?

[@throwawayaccount9150]

Story 1: YTA full throttle! There's a family friend who said he saw me and my siblings as family but when one needed help the most during a dark moment in her life he vocally said he wasn't getting involved in our family issues. Months later he had the nerve to say in some heartfelt speech during a bbq he saw us as his own daughters and said if we ever had a problem we could go to HIM. Needless to say we didn't believe it anymore and the sister who needed him at the time was silently FUMING. Do NOT say you'll be there for them and not be there for them.

[@Lenawire]

I have a brother too who sometimes comes into my room without asking but only for specific reasons which are: a) needing my help with his clothes or laundry (how to wash them and/or iron them), b) check if I'm alright (when its really late and my lights are open, c) use my mirror My mom does that too when she has work to do, like put the clothes away.

[@MsTemptation]

S1:NAH. I have nieces and one nephew that are like my own kids to me but they aren't my kids. I would give them money here and there, but I wouldn't sign my name on any contracts for them either because family has a way of justifying why they shouldn't feel obligated to pay you back. He helped her out financially during her teen years and it sounds like that was a lot of money that he didn't have to pay. Her grandmother not including her in the Will is not op's fault. There should never be a financial expectation just because it's family. That's the problem with people as it is. She can work towards her goals using her might and will because doing so will help to make her a better and more humble person in the long run.

[@bethotoole6569]

Damn Daddy-O... I haven’t been called a bloody legend since,,, well last night by my husband 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍😎

[@azadalamiq]

yta, the whole family failed that poor girl. who is to say the aunt didn't pocket the money? why not take nina in if you could afford to. poor girl had to grow up fast past 17, that is aweful.

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. It's basically a rite of passage type tradition that is reserved for high school seniors. You shouldn't cave in just to appease your entitled sil. It's your tradition for the reasons you mentioned. Your niece can visit but it's with the understanding that it's just going to be a regular visit. I'm sick of entitled people trying to force their will on other people and those people caving in just to keep the peace. Keep your tradition.

[@lizfritz6546]

Ive been on both ends of the photography one - I’ve worked as a photographer and now I’m a social media strategist/content creator. What the art director/client says goes. There are some exceptions but if you aren’t in charge of those exceptions, you don’t get to make them.

[@Droptheworldghost]

Thank you so much for the upload Mark we appreciate you hope everything is going well

[@cheskydivision]

the other parent depends on the schedule so they can do other things. every time op bails mom has to cancel plans. mom can handle parenting and work and op can't handle it 2 days a week when the kid is in school most of that time anyway. a mom would never get away doing that.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: With family like Nina's, especially OP and grandmother, the poor girl do not need enemies, she already had those within her own family. OP gave the poor girl hope, but then devastated her life by refusing to help her, yet spending lots on his other children. I hope she is able to cut off her garbage family and build a life for herself away from her horrible relatives. What is even worse is that she did not even ask for money, she earned those on her own, she just needed her uncle to be guarantor. OP, YTA, and a candidate for AH of the decade.

[@derekswindoll449]

Mark you spicey waffle! These videos make my day. I watch these while at work....keep crackin on!

[@mischiefart1032]

Really nice to see your videos...... they always make me happy🥰

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2: My grandparents took each of their grandkids on a weeklong road trip (US) when they turned 10. My parents wouldn't have dreamed of telling them what to do, unless it was about my safety or something! My grandparents were kind of strict, but even so, we had a wonderful time going through all the national parks in Utah, and I have good memories and was really grateful. Ooops didn't realise this was a 2 year old video, but my point still stands!

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Much love Mark! Make sure you're eating and sleeping. ❤ S1 NTA. Honestly, she didn't grow up under his roof. He has no idea how much of a risk being a guarantor would be. And saying "you're like a daughter to me" at least for me has never actually held water. Would you honestly expect your uncle to put his entire credit score on the line on a whim? If she got evicted his score would be trashed. He has no idea what she'd do. Plus, he did support her financially for 14 years as a father would without getting to celebrate all her milestones. He also didn't put his credit score on the line for his kids, he dealt in cash. So he's really not doing anything discriminatory anyway.

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks Gwen, hope you're doing well my friend!

[@Tues48]

Are you downplaying that she's been supporting herself since she was 18?

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

@@Tues48 Not at all. However, the way OP worded "she hasn't asked me for money since" tells me that she was after he stopped sending it on his own initiative and he was saying yes till now. Because now is different; it's not financial. There's no exchange of money. But an eviction on your credit report can absolutely destroy it. I know from experience from moving out of a shared apartment and the remaining tenants getting evicted, and they didn't finish signing me off the lease. I was young and had very little credit so my score dropped 200 points. It's been years and I still haven't recovered past about 60% of what I lost. That's my point, her largely supporting herself because she was ABLE to since she was 18 (unlike op's daughter for example) don't really have any bearing on it. Kinda rambling at this point, but I'm also the kid who needed to move back home for medical and mental health reasons. I pay my own bills and food, but dad pays all the house bills and I don't pay rent while I'm finishing school. My little sister and brother have been very fortunate that they've been able to support themselves and not have any of the setbacks I did. Dad helps them with different things than he helps me with and all of us understand that just because the support isn't the same doesn't mean it isn't "fair," if you will.

[@DivaViews]

@@UzumakiDonnoHinata finally, someone making sense! Refreshing.

[@dracawyn]

Story 4: "She likes to have a certain aesthetic for her website..." I mean, the whole thing was already pissing me off but this line made me livid. Firstly, if you're "aesthetic" doesn't include diversity of body types, screw you. Secondly, if you think these family pictures don't fit your brand, just don't include them on your website. Thirdly, 20 is definitely old enough to know better and understand issues around body positivity, bodydysmorphia, and how images affect us as humans, ESPECIALLY if this is something she's literally studying in University and is trying to do professionally. **NTA**

[@memorysdancer]

Exactly exactly exactly

[@gorkemaykut5230]

if you are gonna use the photos you take then you gotta pay them not the other way around. the one who pays decides how its gonna be

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@thegigglygal5265]

Tell me location of cottage.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@thegigglygal5265 wish I could but it keeps disappearing and reappearing so ill just have to grab you 💜💜🤗🤗

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hope you are taking care of yourself. Stay healthy and well wishes to you my friend

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@FlamesofJagger aww thank you you too as well 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@badkitty4922]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Dedicate this to Mark. He needs it more than I. I can wait my turn, love!😘💖

[@Dan_Hazard]

Wait you know damn well that whatever money went to the Aunt for the Niece was mostly spent by the Ain't and "Some" for the Niece Yta

[@ElizaBetsy_]

Story 3: Alcoholics will often react, as if to a personal attack, to anything that implies they are problem drinkers. It breaks their carefully constructed denial.

[@threeducks157]

First one made me so freaking mad... He better never ever spout the words "like one of mine" my cousin passed 13 years ago leaving behind his adorable daughter with the embodiment of garbage for a mother I always loved her as my own and I put my money where my mouth was, as she was taken by cps due the horrible condition she lived in I took guardianship and later forced the horrible woman to give up parental rights and I officially adopted her. Something did made me laugh though he claims be wealthy but craps a brick about a tiny ding on his credit score I'ma just press X to doubt.

[@familyytowo7261]

Im back sorry I killed my phone anyway have a lovley day you beautiful amazing wonderful cool awesome and fantastic peoples I sincerely apologize for my lack of grammar I'm excited

[@Flufferz626]

So he pays cash for everything for his kids when they are 30 years old, but tries to flex that he is so high and mighty just because she wants a guarantor? She wasn't begging for a car or apartment. She has no other person for a guarantor because both her parents are dead, she wanted just one thing just to live

[@dash9641]

Yes because Cash and credit are different. He can pay in cash no issues without getting burned too bad but I wouldn't trust anyone with my credit, if she lost money and couldn't pay rent, getting evicted it's his credit that's getting shot not hers. He didn't even give things relating to his credit to his own kids.

[@Flufferz626]

@@dash9641 damn he must be in some shady stuff to pay for literally everything in cash. Then deceiving his own children (they are 30 year old adults but I guess they can't support themselves unlike the 18 year old so okay) that they are building their own credit by "paying him back" for property he purchased for full? In cash? Not even a personal loan. He has no credit score, period.

[@dash9641]

@@Flufferz626 How is he deceiving them? He is literally giving them money he expects to be paid back which of fair. She is asking for something she needs that involves him using his credit. One has higher stakes than the other obviously. I really don't see what their age has to do with much as anybody literally anyone of any age can fall on hard times when it comes to money. As long as they can pay him back no issue, you can't just simply pay back a credit drop if something happens when it's under your name. Here is how I see it. Say I ask to borrow 200 dollars from you in cash, say I'll pay it back next week but I'm late on it. No big deal, there is nothing attached to it like government stuff or anything so it's no real issue to be "late" paying it back a few days to a week later than expected. Now let's say I asked for 200 dollars from your credit card, used it and now you need the money back to pay it off within the week. Same thing happens and now your credit takes a hit because I messed up. It's the same issues here, dollar bills don't hold the same weight as if your credit is on the line with someone else behind it. It is just too risky.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Good afternoon Mark!!! How are you doing today? I hope all is well and I wish you a great day!! I also almost typed this all out in caps, oops.

[@riceracm]

17:38 Hey Mark, you should’ve told that other photographer to _...pound sand_ 😜😏

[@azadalamiq]

story 4: NTA, i have a trade degree in graphic arts which also had photography. all photoshopping is handled in mock ups, which are chosen from and then fully developed. you do not take a client's photo and heavily photoshop their picture without their knowledge or consent. a client is not/can not be forced to pay for a product or services they neither wanted or asked for. OP sister just open herself up to a small claims lawsuit, as OP can sue for his money back. also markee id question the guys credentials as a real photographer doesn't do that.

[@NeoLotex]

Story 1: I mean he did support her growing up and that deserves respect on its own as he didn't need to that that, but I agree with Nina that he absolutely shouldn't have said that if he didn't mean it. If I said something like that it would mean support in tough times, but OP decided to bail at the first "open" opportunity with the appartment because it could affect his credit score which would be a completely valid point, but on the other hand he says he's wealthy and stuff like that, why would he need it so bad that he turns "one of his own" away for that, it didn't sound like Nina was the bad apple or something like that plus it's not like he had many people who could've done that. Story 4: I didn't really get what the problem was, the sister took the photos and then edited them in a way that OP didn't like (made her skinnier or something like that) and now OPs wife feels bad because of the photos? If that's the case I'll go with NTA, that's basically the same as going to a restaurant and then saying something like "she'll have a salad, she needs to lose weight" or something insensitive like that, only with the difference that OPs wife will see the photos constantly and may very well whip herself over them way longer. Story 5: Tough choice, depends on other circumstances for me, if money is tight in general, if picking up overtime would reduce risk of missing child support payments or similar things ("even though I didn't need to" could be taken as "I didn't need the money" but also as "I wasn't obligated and at risk to lose my job over it"). Without additional info about these and similar circumstances I'll go with YTA for now.

[@LadyLeomon]

1) YTA, shouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it, that’s just cruel. 2) NTA, you’re taking her at the same age you did your other niblings, with the state of the world as it is right now them demanding you take her 2 years early is not only extrenely entitled but also stupid. 3) NTA, what the hell is his deal that he has to come into _your room_ every time he gets sloshed “to chat”? Tell to STFU and call the local AA! 4) NTA, what she did was hurtful and insulting but she expects you to be grateful and pay for it? Not bloody likely! Direct her to those tacky glam magazines, they’ll pay for all the airbrushing she can handle! 5) YTA for _choosing_ to work when you were meant to have your child! Thanks for the new vid WaffleBoss 💙🐱💙

[@jmarie9997]

But... doesn't a guarantor have to pay if the person defaults?

[@saltytoshiro3685]

Day 85 of reminding Mark that he's amazing and that his work is appreciated ❤️

[@standinthegsp6858]

Is Jess the last child in brother & sister-in-law’s family? Maybe SIL has planned a vacation for her & her husband for this year & wants to dump her kid on someone. Or maybe she thinks you’ll take her/them too “so someone will keep an eye on Jess while you go off & do whatever”

[@leonardochagas9930]

When Mark reapeats the same pharse you know he has sensed some high levels of bullshit 2:22

[@BrienaSkysong1]

Listening to this while I work on ironing out details with a guy 2 hours drive south to look at the horse he's selling. If all goes well, I'll be a first-time stallion owner :D These videos are one of the highlights of my week (I like letting them build up and then binging on the videos) as I like hearing not only the reading style and accent (sucker for an English accent), but your own points of view and assessments of the stories you read. So, thank you, mark ^^

[@harrypotter2700]

I hope it went well! I’ve never owned horses whatsoever so I can’t exactly say anything specific here but I really hope it went well and you were able to get the stallion!

[@orchidoxs126]

Story 1 : technically nta. But morally yta. Op told her she was like his own child. Which would mean a lot for someone who lost their parents. She isn't acting entitled to his money,she has stopped. But from they way oo writes about her. They would be close to have this father daughter relationship. And most likely felt a father's love,and felt that she was being the same as his bio kids. Yea but when his daughter goes yea look all the stuff he got us. You gotta understand she gonna be like ,"oh i guess he really doesn't care for me that much. I thought he loved me as his own. I guess he's keeping me at arms length." Like just try and imagine this in her perspective. He's been their all her life. And don't except me to believe they have a close relationship just because he paid for her living expenses. He must have spent time with her to get that bond. Which what makes op the ah. He shouldn't have led her to believe that he was always gonna be there to support her if in fact he wasn't

[@ComaLies225]

Yea this was my same reaction. Legally he didn’t have to BUT he was an ass to tell her one thing and then not show it. He’s clearly giving mixed signals and it seems like he’s only told her she was like his own just for show.

[@Flakey101]

What I do not understand is reddit saying he not treating her like family, when he is treating her exactly the same way he treats his son. He gives the son a LOAN, not a gift, to avoid impacts on credit ratings, that he expects to be paid back. I would be more sure he would be an AH if she asked for a loan and he refused.

[@eleanoraddy4683]

That brother sounds a little too interested......

[@Gwyllgi]

Nina wasn't even asking for money, just that he'd be a guarantor...

[@Gwyllgi]

And why is Nina being left out of the will??