MATING CRISIS: The Biggest Problems Keeping Men & Women SINGLE... | Stephan Speaks

[@TomBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@cjojay]

Tom. Great content, but please, you often interrupt your guest's flow and it's very distracting.

[@Lbodacious3]

@@cjojay very true he does.

[@iammofo]

I believe men shouldn’t be in a relationship until around the age of 35. A man must dedicate time to self improvement and build his resource in order to take care of family. Then this man should be looking for a younger woman naturally…. And on the other side woman should be looking for men in their mid 30’s and established first then consider all other vetting standards. Then we won’t have single mothers and step father running around like we do today.

[@jiggzvegas1988]

​@@iammofo nope you have to be in and out of a relationship to know how to be in a relationship,there's no instructions to follow just learned through real life experience.

[@iammofo]

@@jiggzvegas1988 your absolutely right… you need experience. So let me be more specific young men should not be taking on relationship they are not ready to support and gain experience at a young age. At the same time young woman should not be with men that cannot support them at a young age and learn how to vet a good mate. That will set the tone for men.

[@sekinab.3329]

This is possibly the first male based podcast that I’ve heard with beneficial information for men without bashing women. Keep up the good work.

[@zipporahakbar]

😂😂😂

[@sonyaagibson]

Amen, so much truth in just two sentences!!

[@redfolgers2233]

he single tho. he running thru girls like a f boy. he smart. he just says what girls want to hear and that is how he gets paid

[@therealsandraweise]

For real. It goes both ways. We all have been duped by exposures to mind numbing distractions that warped us.

[@RAZASHARP]

OF COURSE YOU LIKE IT1..because they have NO IDEA wtf they're talking about!! and you can be LAZY AND TAKE NO ACCOUNTABILITY! and using that played OUT WORD....BASHING!!! SAYS IT ALL.!

[@sebastianosuch273]

My two cents about getting attractive by doing sports - it’s not all about how you look. I notice that when I do sports, go for a run, I suddenly FEEL more attractive and more willing to meet someone. And that’s 80% of the effects of working out.

[@d3r4g45]

That "feel" is the higher testosterone you are producing when working out.

[@hankhill3417]

@@d3r4g45 endorphins actually

[@cc1k435]

​@@hankhill3417 Both, I think!

[@antilaw9911]

It's called confidence

[@jonstersmall2716]

Yes, it is.

[@glenben92]

I'm 1000000% the relationship guy. I find no allure in sex with a woman that I feel no meaningful connection with. I have a small and very tight circle of highly trusted friends and my romantic interests match that. I'm sure I've missed out on a lot because of it but no matter which way you go, you miss out on something. Gotta pick your poison. Meaning something to someone is far more rewarding than just sex. As a lovely sweetener too, the sex is actually way better for both of you, which is both hedonistically pleasant and a bigger lift to the ego when she enjoys it all the more because you understand her better.

[@AnnAndNala]

I agree wholeheartedly. And it's so nice to know that others feel that way too because it's so rare. I stopped dating completely because the men I dated wanted to "close the deal" on the 3rd date. And dating to me means something entirely different, it means really getting to know someone first by spending time together, and then see if there is attraction based on organically learning the character of the person. But I've found that most are too impatient and get really insulted and angry by my slower "process". So I gave up and fortunately I am really enjoying my independent single life with my good friends. And while I live alone, I'm definitely not lonely. I'm not sure that I'll ever find that person, but if/when I do, I know it will be the right time and the right person.

[@kseniaerlenbach6182]

Thank you for saying this as a guy. We females don’t hear that a lot about a guy actually wanting one woman who will love them unconditionally and just wanting to stick it in random good looking woman, because they are EVERYWHERE. I knew there were a handful of the good ones out there 😅

[@dima6488]

@@kseniaerlenbach6182 Myself and all of my close friends are like that (30M), don't give up I'm sure you'll find someone who's right for you

[@dianedlj]

​@@AnnAndNala I so agree w you. Sex is not my top priority there are more important things in life when sex is slower, fewer or just simply on hold. I want the emotional companionship a soul mate to aging together.

[@sharonjoan9997]

I’d like to date a glenben

[@Peekaboo-Kitty]

I've solved ALL my relationship problems. I stopped dating completely and got myself a bunch of Cats. NEVER been so happy!

[@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier]

40 years of loneliness is a LOOONG time...

[@Yo-qp6hq]

@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier Projection

[@debbyshark1596]

@John Mahmud women do not need to be in a relationship..what we are starting to truly understand and realize is that we value our peace much more! Cats do bring peace! Cats are scientifically known to reduce stress and thier purring helps to keep your heart healthy! 😻

[@debbyshark1596]

I'm with you giirl!! Cat lady life is the life for me!!💕😻

[@Peekaboo-Kitty]

@@debbyshark1596 You have attained true enlightenment. ☺

[@kathleenpugh2641]

I'm really enjoying this meshing of the minds. I really like how Tom and Stephen's communication styles mesh - these two should do a quarterly episode!!!

[@johnmcaulay8448]

I did a quarterly episode with you ma ma last night, she needs a Doctor, she's as wide as the Grand Canyon 🌄

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

"I like it when men say things I want to hear, even if it's not at all representative of how most men think."

[@aaronhumphrey3670]

I feel like I just sat down through a free masterclass!!! So much gems were given! Thank you both for addressing this topic. I was literally taking notes.

[@soystef]

I'm like a proud momma watching Stephan blow up over the years! Always so level-headed and practical. Love his teachings- thank you!

[@barbwalk7]

I love listening to Him! He makes relationships look so easy!

[@patrickmork]

If you know how to make her feel good about herself, that goes a long way." So true. Great advice

[@Tina-wk2pr]

💯

[@zipporahakbar]

No sir

[@diningroomfish5470]

Then they treat you like shit, the more you boost them the more you fall, you can't trust women

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Lol

[@TheMatrixofMeaning]

Only an attractive man with money that she respects has the power to affect her emotions. So it always starts at the shallow stuff because that's what women use to decide what men are worth paying attention to. If you're broke or short or overweight nothing you say or do will even be noticed and if it does it will have no effect Be attractive, be successful, be tall, have status THEN you can be a good person with a great personality and 90% of women will give you a chance But be average or less than average and no woman will even notice your good inner traits

[@jessejameslatimer8686]

This is the best dating advice I’ve ever received. I will keep this video saved forever and play it several times over. Thank you guys so much.

[@mgtowcowboy8159]

@ jesse... this is all bullshit. The real truth is that Andrew Tate is completely correct. Women have enslaved men using the laws and now men are struggling to find themselves

[@kylefer]

35:45 This is so true. I was hurt when I was young, badly, for over 10 years I never opened up to another woman again, those 10 years I struggled hard to make a connection with anyone and could not figure out why... Now I see I was shutting them out. Finally a few years ago I began opening up again and just being myself regardless of my innate fears to not. Been in an incredibly happy relationship since, and the level of trust we have between one another is something I never would have thought was possible before. This episode is fantastic.

[@kmonea9850]

❤️🙏🏾

[@abundanceismind]

Still sounds like therapy could help. One bad experience shouldn't make you shut everyone out

[@alex_chugaev]

The first part sounds like the story of my life. My therapy starts in 10 days. I dream about a connection with a good person.

[@abundanceismind]

@@alex_chugaev best of luck to you

[@alex_chugaev]

@@abundanceismind thank you dear 🙏🏻

[@datw8665]

Probably one of the BEST relationship podcasts Ive ever seen! I sent this to almost all of my friends...pr people that i think can use this information! ...DONT sleep on all these GEMS they drop!!!

[@prismonthethehorizon5793]

🙌🙌🙌 yeah man, this is by far the best type of advice for men. That toxic stuff is no good. I'm reading Jay Shetty's book 8 rules for love. I definitely reccomend it for anyone looking for a healthy relationship! Kind regards xx

[@demetrajohnson2245]

Yes! Thank you for tackling this issue. I'm so sad for the youth of today and the struggles they face. The way the current societal social media presence pressures these kids to the point where they cannot find true happiness. They don't even understand what it is and are fed all this info telling them they'll never attain it so why bother try. The problem is their not embracing their souls true purpose because they don't know how to discover what that is. Fortunately, there is also a strong component of spiritual growth and inspiration available, as well as podcasts like these that provide an alternative way to think to achieve peace, love, prosperity, self love and fulfillment. Thank you for the fine work you're doing. You're definitely doing it right. Love and light 🥰

[@Cilla235]

So much truth in here. I know so many women in their 30's who are attractive and have a lot going for them, that would love to be married & having babies... who are single. It's sad. Porn is a huge issue in distracting men, 100% and there is a lack of effort in dating, in general.

[@matgamer5916]

Also add the men keep getting constant rejections, so men are just leaving it alone.

[@Jennozen1]

There is less incentive to put in any effort.

[@justdoit.86yearsago]

@@Jennozen1 maybe the feeling of having no incentive is linked to the issue of low testosterone levels.

[@Jennozen1]

@@justdoit.86yearsago I don't know about the potential of a the output of a hormone being stunted by the circumstances of not having an incentive, although I do think we're saying the same thing.

[@rbfarrell1]

I can tell you that alot of men in the U.S. myself included do not look at Modern American women in a positive way. Guys are attracted to Pu$$y and put up with women to get it. But men are going to ruin their lives by getting married and in most cases having a sexless marriage.

[@gloriamariadc7757]

Yes, I totally think dating apps are a melting pot of massive micro traumas by people u may never meet or only meet once.

[@rosskarshen850]

Damn, what a good way to put it! "A massive melting pot of micro traumas" At least, for me, the few timesI've hooked up with solid women are worth all the other little micro-cuts endured. Well, I keep telling myself this at least 😂 1 out of every 10 is a lot to endure to get the gold! At least I'm not buying drinks while I go through the #s 😂🤣😅

[@nothereyetlost]

Nope. The WORLD is. As long as it contains men, trauma will EXIST and broken women for it is ONLY men who break women. I say as long as it contains men, bc the existence of MEN is NOT a given, unlike what everyone thinks

[@HCforLife1]

Trauma can be caused by war, not a dating app. The problem is hypergamy and the fact that women don't understand their own psychology. Most of you are attracted to a very small percentage of men. This small percentage is desired by most women. These men have thousands of dating options. They date so many women that they are can't be loyal and form serious relationships. On top of that - men 8/10 who is seen as very attractive can have one nightstand with a 5-6/10 woman. After they slept together women thinks that this is the kind of guy she can attract and create a relationship. You really don't understand that there is an imbalance now? How often do I listen: the guy has a stable job, and career, and is honest, hard-working, and family-oriented, but because his looks are average he is being left or divorced by a woman whose only value is body and face. Not to mention no values, terrible temper, and character. How often have you listened to "he was too nice", or "he was too good for me". Women chase bad boys 8/10 times. Even while married. What's the point to dating woman when she will be bored in a few years until find a better upgrade? Or leave you when you become ill? The myth is that women dating down. Reality is that women always date up and men date down now to the rock bottom (I hate simping)

[@abebammydheley5704]

This is probably the coolest and calmest gentlemen conversation I've ever witnessed.. every second of it is like savoring a favorite meal. I enjoyed it. Thumbs up.

[@xiaco8309]

God was this good. I used to be a drinker who didn’t go to the gym. Always skinny too. Fast forward. I’m 2 years sober and have been going to the gym for the past 6 months and never felt better. I end up in awkward situations lately though. I’m not used to being attractive to women and have had a few random women come up to me and flirt and I get lost and don’t know what to do. Not used to that aspect of things. Anyways, hit the gym and take care of yourself guys. It DOES help.

[@guillermo5095]

It’s like anything you just practice. Basically you make yourself look stupid till you get better. All men take L’ still you learn how. Forget that your talking to a girl that you like it’s just a person so treat it as such. Talk to them as a friend or if you had a job at a clothes store and you are helping them find what they need. You are talking to another human being don’t over think it and practice talking more. Just learn how to communicate

[@TomikaKelly]

🤎🤎🤎

[@mandabean.2405]

If there were more guys like this... The world would be a better place.

[@markremy4946]

More SIMPS, you mean?

[@Anthony-dj4nd]

Sure....😂

[@rose-yeah]

@@markremy4946 no, that’s not the meaning of simp but if you think so. You do you but you need to know those are the men who deserve good women and deserve to be cared for and no women should tell them to man up when they cry. Respect to them

[@markremy4946]

@@rose-yeah What's YOUR definition of SIMP? Mine is a man who allows himself to be a door mat for females.

[@Afternoon99]

@@markremy4946 so no, that’s not what she meant

[@gemi9i1]

Stefan is the best relationship coach for men & women out there ! Always so many gems that are practical, realistic & actionable. Amazing to listen always while working out ! Thank you

[@eddyb4]

He’s really not. He showed his fear throughout this interview

[@fakedat9233]

Y’all don’t understand how beautiful this is that y’all put this on the internet for free

[@davidmiraglia7054]

So I own a business. I’m not rich, and some months things are tight, but I always deliver for my lady, and our kids (6 of us total), and have delivered for the past 3 years. I still feel somewhat inadequate cause it would not take much to knock me off my feet. What defines financially being stable to you? Emotionally, well I’m in therapy with 2 different counselors. Being a man in the dating world is hard these days, but I’m a fighter. I’m a survivor, and striver. What a journey I’m on. Get busy living fellas, and ladies. Enjoy the ride

[@TomikaKelly]

Emotionally stable means if you lost your source of income, could you make it AT LEAST another year without generating additional income? Growing up, my parents' aim was ALWAYS to have 3-5 years of emergency funds in the bank. This came in handy during the times when my dad was badly injured at work, when my uncle nearly died and needed immediate, expensive treatment, and when my mom got very sick and couldn't work for a year.

[@dvez7542]

I was married twice, had a couple of long term rel. and I am SO GRATEFUL that there's no more of that bullshit, the bullshit of going through all sorts of mental gymnastics in a relationship. It's been a long time coming but I finally have the peace and solitude of an autonomous life. If I decide to let someone into my domain, mental and physical, there will be no doubt what "time it is". After a while, love or no love, a relationship is like a mental prison which can quickly turn into a physical one. And many times, one builds that prison on themselves. Solitude is necessary for anyone and I feel sorry for those for whom solitude is an unbearable experience. That's being a prisoner in one's own mind. Now imagine you or the other person bringing that energy into a relationship and now having to find balance. Fuck that shit.

[@khemaloving4031]

Tranquility rocks!

[@brianmeen2158]

I hear you and I loved this conversation with Tom and Stephan - that said there was a big snag where Tom basically admitted that every time his wife gets emotional about something - not only does he have to listen to her flesh out the problem but also must validate that how she is feeling is perfectly ok.. and that this is the only way most women will truly feel like they are “heard” so it’s not only listening to them but then telling them That what they are feeling is justified. This is a big issue and I’m sorry but I cannot listen to a woman give me the rundown of a situation and then hear how hysterical and angry she is at someone IF she is the person that is wrong in that situation. I just will not appease women that I’m talking to in this way as it doesn’t fix anything and actually justifies bad behavior. I notice Stephan didn’t have an answer for it either

[@nothereyetlost]

@@brianmeen2158 this is WONDERFUL. Go ahead be a woman-hater ❤❤

[@giothahero]

Fantastic conversation. Hopefully more and more people are able to listen to this, especially for us young men

[@kirstenbrogan5958]

Intuition is that gut feeling. Sometimes, you just feel someone's energy is bad. You can't explain it. It's a real thing. Even kids have it, but we shame them out it, especially girls. We're told be nice, accommodating. We should be allowed to follow our gut from an early age to develop healthy intuitive skills.

[@kirstenbrogan5958]

@Sayin wat I think you misunderstood. Some girls are taught not to listen to their intuition because they're taught to be kind and serve. Saying no is an important boundary to learn when young.

[@msredcurtains]

Very true!

[@ShiningLight411]

Children & pets have intuition also.

[@myahill7475]

We can still be nice and accommodating to not set off an alarm 🚨 but… accept our suspicions as a sign to pay close attention.

[@kirstenbrogan5958]

@@myahill7475absolutely boundaries are the ticket 😉. They are put into place to protect relationships we value.

[@DorotheasFavs]

This was such a good conversation! I totally agree with all of it! Thank you for having Stephan on your show.

[@Cloudss9]

Stephan and Tom demonstrate communication patterns valuable to a variety of relationships. Notice how they speak their truths or disagree and are still calmly discuss throughout expressing and understanding.

[@charity7773]

I work in a hospital and the old people that stayed married a lifetime met at church and married young before placing there dipstick in everyones oil. They are not running around saying I knew he or she was high value. This culture has become ridiculous . This must be a component of the birthing pains mentioned in Revalation.

[@Que772]

Birthing pains has to do with bringing the word of God forth!

[@rodneyshannon5759]

Thank you, as I remember my Grandfather and Grandmother relationship as God principles were their foundation, The beautiful of it all 4 generations we care that character.

[@frankdavf4599]

They didnt had social media to struggle with.

[@rodneyshannon5759]

@@frankdavf4599 Character and values matter and both men and women seek other distractions, It's a choice people make do to greed, selfishness, and the lack of moral integrity and discipline

[@AndiAlexander1]

What makes anyone think that men are the only ones who stop working for something once we get it? To maintain something and continue to grow is a skill that has to be trained into ALL of us humans.

[@Jennozen1]

I feel like maybe women will continue to work on something long after there has been any evidence of it making any difference. Whereas a man will quit very soon after no positive results or feedback have been found.

[@boobooscooboo]

@@Jennozen1WRONG. Then why do women initiate 70% of divorces? Sounds like they’re the quitters to me. Y’all don’t even try, everything is on the man. It’s like y’all think we’re just here to serve you and half of y’all are too ugly for that treatment anyway

[@kylefer]

21:20 We now think one of the reasons behind the low Testosterone in modern males is because of Plasticizers in Plastics (Which lends flexibility to plastics, more flexible, more plasticizer, this is not BPA btw) as it causes the feminine attributes of a cell to become more exacerbated when cells replicate. There are definitely other factors at play as well to consider, such as the rise of Phyto-estrogens in the diet, but when my professor explained Plasticizers to me and the current research on it during a lecture last year, I found it rather mind-blowing that it's not talked about more.

[@alexisturner5838]

So refreshing to hear a man’s point of view and how it can apply to both men and women! ❤

[@jamesmanter8731]

Kevin samuals was right

[@racheljones4561]

​@@jamesmanter8731He was dead wrong.

[@PepeCoinMania]

because its wrong. there is no way to dating can be applied to both

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

These men's opinions do not reflect most men's point of view.

[@dhyanmukta]

I am so impressed by these men in their insights, communication and devotion to building a healthier human being

[@nothereyetlost]

Don’t be. They are not. AT ALL. Unless and until they address men abusing women like roaches, this is fallacy.

[@benjaminnielsen4288]

min 2:00:00 - That last 5 minutes talking about staying in your masculine and keeping your woman's interest was deep.... hit me hard. In midst of my devastated relationship slowly fading away. A gut reality check. Time to re-focus, find purpose, and forget about her. I needed to hear this.... THANK YOU, STEPHAN

[@RosalieElnekave]

2 hugely wise men and a great video that every human being should watch! thank you!

[@ItsOkayToBeHappy]

This was so good on Stephan's part. I STRUGGLED so hard to get through all Tom's long monologs about him and his wife. Thank goodness for the double tap to fast forward option or I wouldn't have made it to then end.😂

[@YasminMahnaz]

Hahahahhahaaa I was going say dayyyyym son tom talks so f ----- much... I like hearing about his parallel w his wife... but damn the guy has not evolved except finance mostly.... their marriage seems not that great as they both put it out there to be. They don't have growth w no kids...OK great ur pretty much big kids marries to each other and if it weren't foe ur business and her business she would be miserable just w you..hence she mentioned once or so they after7 yrs being house wife she was miserable... no growth. N o kids... nothing. They got date night and all and he's an attention seeker like bug kid that need his dose.such mismatch. She wanted Kods at some point and finally had ro decide marriage money or family and kids. She picked money. It ain't all that. Tom dresses and acts like an intelligent big kid and she dresses still like she 15 !!!!! Makes her happy but....she screaming out of her body I'm a kid ...haven't grown....plus she so short and still loos like a kid since no weight gain no kids .. such a farce. Tom trying to prove ro himself and his wife how great their marriage is ..cz since 20 yrs ago it was meant to be ..he stoll trying prove to her and himself it still works like it did 20 yrs ago.

[@Eserr7856]

Agree, I wish Tom would've talked less and just focused on asking questions to lead the conversation and let the guest do the talking. I felt inpatient with him, kudos to Stefan for having patience when he was cut off in the middle of expressing an idea

[@ItsOkayToBeHappy]

@@Eserr7856 You are so right, I was thinking the same watching Stephan calmly & patiently listen to Tom ramble.

[@cjojay]

And his interrupting.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@longjohnthilver Well I mean he's not really a looker LOL. I wonder if his wife grabs onto those ears when they're doing the horizontal rumba.

[@evolvinglove7786]

15 minutes in and the level of maturity and wisdom in this video is astonishing. Please keep the going the young people need this!!

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

Men disagree.

[@darleneweiss7941]

1:14 in- the word is attunement. You’re not alone, my autocorrect doesn’t even know it. Intimacy is all about being seen, even if for a moment, can be soo delicious. I appreciate this interview & seeing more men talk in these ways can ripple out to the men that need to hear some of this. Vulnerability is sexy! 🙌🏽

[@rosiethebear300]

Absolutely true. When A man shows he is vulnerable to his woman it is good for the relationship. Communication gets real and deepens the attachment.

[@boobooscooboo]

Wrong

[@kylefer]

14:00 truth. Basics of hypergamy here. As in a female doctor would never date a cute Starbucks Barista, yet a male doctor would date a cute female barista in a heartbeat. Men tend to date across and down, women across and up. Rarely ever down.

[@Carl-gx1pt]

Amazing how Stephan was increasingly relevant and straight to the point, zero BS

[@sisi74]

This was a great interview, the only I thing I would disagree with, is the reason older women often stay alone after divorce or separation. Sure, some of the reasoning mentioned may be valid, but imho, another reason, especially for independent women, is the fact that they just don’t want to make the same sacrifices anymore that maybe their younger version would have. They just begin to value their peace more than anything.

[@blueseptember2174]

It is ONLY about the peace okay 😅

[@sisi74]

@@blueseptember2174 💯

[@gemini8620]

A cake is still a cake without a cherry. ❤

[@supertrooper6011]

Stephan actually dropping some wise words

[@Kaithelightworker]

The word cooperative is actually better than the word submissive. Submissive means to conform or allow yourself to be controlled by an authoritative figure. Cooperative means mutual assistance in working toward a common goal. My pawpaw who is a Muslim, is the one who changed my perspective on the word submissive. He checked me when I called my nana submissive & a house wife.😅

[@Vitlaus]

It seems that people are submissive to politicians, and uncooperative with their community.

[@Kaithelightworker]

@@Vitlaus agreed!

[@pistolen87]

Agreed, but the other side of the coin is that too many cooks spoil the broth. Sharing responsibilities can be cumbersome, rather than having defined roles for each partner.

[@Kaithelightworker]

@@pistolen87 that’s the thing though… my nana has never worked since they’ve been married. She takes care of the house duties, while my pawpaw works & pays all the bills. She’s the yin & he’s the yang. They compliment each other & play their roles which makes for a perfect team. My pawpaw never told her she had to clean, cook, stay at home or anything else… they simply had the same common goal & vision for their family.

[@aliciastanley5582]

Cooperative and submissive are very different words

[@cbbennett1015]

Tom, I'm really growing to enjoy your discord and conversations with your guests. Its a unique and different approach. Thank you! The art of conversation.

[@plantmama7442]

WOW - I thought this would trigger me in painful ways because I’m healing from a situationship that I attracted in an unhealed state but this really helped me understand and let them go…. They weren’t over their most recent ex and had a lot of past traumas causing them to have walls up, be emotionally unavailable, lack empathy and be deceitful. He loved listening to fresh & fit and even Tate, yet his hurtful treatment of me felt normal because it reflected my upbringing, limiting beliefs and how people were hurtful towards me. But now I’m finally understanding that it isn’t about me and I’m starting to be thankful they recently pulled away. I’m determined to heal from my trauma and move forward. I was dwelling so much but the best action I can take is to let them go, feel my feelings, accept what is and move on… Thank you both so much 🙏🏽❤️

[@newmindsetdaily]

Hugs. May God bless you on your healing journey. 🙏

[@plantmama7442]

@@newmindsetdaily Thank you for your kind words 🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

You will keep making poor choices, because you're ignoring reality.

[@tanyacarlyle1422]

Amazing work!!

[@seekthegood5138]

Freshly divorced. 35 years old. Going to be trying to meet someone in the future. I'm honestly dreading it! Very nervous. Haven't been on the dating scene in over 10 years. 😅😅😅 all I will be looking for is a hard working man who knows how to treat a lady. Few other things too but not over the top. I appreciate these videos!

[@MrJusbruno]

Thank you, Stephan. Your videos hold me accountable and I'm due to getting therapy, getting control of my own development, educating myself on spiritual path that is safe for me to practice so I can be as authentic as I can be. I appreciate your advice and I aim to one day use your service for more in depth coaching.

[@petertadams55]

So insightful. Talking about men's issues in an open real way, but also much better & more specific advice than "hit the gym & be on your grind"

[@rbfarrell1]

After listening to this I feel so lucky to be living a single life. It sounds so draining to have to deal a woman everyday. And with so little up side.

[@Bunsinbundles]

Sometimes when you have too many rules you will miss the boat. Know what you want but be open and understanding especially if you find the one. Don’t let one or two things effect everything. Just be open and stop judging and embrace love.

[@HCforLife1]

Women - you make rules for good men and break them to the bad boys. What is happening is great. I am wondering what the world will look like when men stop simping and women won't get any more benefits (single mothers). The collapse is coming. The mental health of the women in the decade from now will be crazy!

[@starryeyednomad3519]

Great content, but ONE point that I want to clarify as a woman: an emotionally healthy, confident woman doesn't need a man to make her feel good about herself. A woman appreciates a relationship that feels good to be in. There's a difference.

[@rogerheisler2554]

Yes! However, most women are not emotionally healthy and need/want male attention to feel good about themselves! You hear:" I don't need a man", but they ALL got one!

[@bonsummers2657]

@@rogerheisler2554 And then, for many humans, possibly the majority, for the sake of familial culture and great qualities of humanity,…. a man and woman together, is a classical great 'institution' of being human.

[@nothereyetlost]

That’s a great theory that will lead you nowhere. LOVE IT!!

[@nothereyetlost]

@@rogerheisler2554most women aren’t emotionally healthy bc most women have been destroyed by disgusting men, likely like yourself

[@elmersicllacanales1441]

That’s called being an adult.

[@rodneyshannon5759]

Stephen speaks so much wisdom, If she ever wants to leave I'll open the door and wish her well, For I only want her when it's in her heart to stay, as our love and commitment grows. Love the wisdom that is thought here.

[@CinnamonR0le]

Amazing to see you both having a dialogue! I love the work you two do individually. Thank you for making this video. Keep shining, the world needs your light! 👏🙌🙏

[@jessicacooper5880]

Wow to let go of all expectations and be okay with whatever happens. Let go of cultural expectations. Learning that the man is a fixer where women are more emotional. That was so powerful!

[@rosaliejackson7650]

This was an excellent conversation! I'm married nearly 29 years. I can relate to so many things in your marriage, Tom! I'm curious, when it comes to the idea of needing a leader to be the decision breaker in a marriage ... how often do you see coming to that point in your marriage? We do a very similar style to your marriage, and as the wife, I can't think of maybe more than one time in my 29 years of marriage where we came to that point. I think when you learn to work together you are more often on the same page or you can discuss your way there.

[@whowearereally6494]

and therefore, you both feel like a team and can’t wait to give to give.....to each other😊

[@Mountainman2013]

This is a great conversation.

[@yanadre9154]

This is so reality-based and honest. Amazing! Thank you!

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

Notice how it's mostly women making these comments on this video?

[@nothereyetlost]

@@unnecessaryapostrophe4047no it’s mostly men

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

@@nothereyetlost Men don't support this kind of rhetoric. It's for women.

[@Corrans]

So far everything Stephen speaks has said, has rung true for me. He talks such sense!

[@muscleman369]

He nailed the dynamic issues I face in my marriage. Building up to a stronger frame, physically, mentally and financially I've realized my woman is purely a liability and she has become very insecure that I am becoming well rounded and she tries so hard to take credit but we both know she hasn't helped, I've simply overcame her oppression and the picture is very clear that there is some underlying issues going on and I know I deserve respect that hasn't been given. Having kids with her has complicated the situation but if they don't add to you then they shouldn't be around. Tough pill to swallow but it's reality. Picking partners is the most important choice men have to make.

[@sami.1983]

That's very selfish to think kids YOU brought into this world are supposed to add to your life. Your'e responsible for their wellbeing and education CHILDREN aren't responsible for yours.

[@muscleman369]

@Sam that wasn't directed to my kids. It was in reference to my relationship. Someone who says the kids need to go can go to hell. To this day I have not seen anything that compares to the love ive received from my children.

[@RobertMcGuckin-ws6pe]

You may be married to a covert narcissist or BPD and are in the long drawn out devalue stage. Its hell.

[@annmarieknapp2480]

Where I live I hear a number of negative comments against strong women. I'm glad your guest is discussing these issues for other men to hear. I worked my tail off to develop a career and men will say they are drawn to it, but then they want to change the very features they said attracted them to strong women in first place. This has happened to me several times. Being pursued for having ambition, drive, education, until it threatens their fragile ego and then they try gaslighting you and sewing seeds of doubt to weaken you because they are projecting their own weakness onto you. I've also witnessed that negging garbage and have turned that right back onto that person like a fire hose. I'm a psychologist so not the person to play mind games with. Ethically, will always use what I know for good. But, if someone thinks they can undermine me by being a jerk, its game on. This is why I've just left the field.

[@h8h215]

I think its a good idea you left, your career is more important then being with a man, now you understand men dont care about your career it helps put things in perspective, dont give up your career for a man even if it comes at the cost of being alone.

[@gloriamariadc7757]

The modernity & conventional use of dating apps is braking people before even getting in front of a potential mate in real life.

[@leelu2274]

100% what is most attractive is authenticity, which often is coupled with self confidence or awareness or their strengths and honest and accepting of their weaknesses. The safety of open, honest people can be more important than attractiveness or even emotional availability in some cases.

[@Jennozen1]

51:21 I just want to add a different perspective real quick regarding why someone might not be able to "handle" someone treating them well. The example given here was that the woman doesn't fully trust that 'the other shoe' won't drop or that the man was just setting her up to later on down the line ultimately do her some kind of harm. Speaking from personal experience I can offer another scenario. My upbringing was not the absolute worst by any means, (mainly because I am the baby of the family so all the crazy things had happened before me or they were kept from me) but it also wasn't always healthy, stable, encouraging or nurturing either. There wasn't ever really a time where there wasn't some form of drama or tension in the air. My ex-husband, on the other hand, is an only child raised by good people who made sure to value their relationship as a couple for years before deciding to have a child. He recalls it always being the 3 of them. A very different dynamic from anything I'd ever experienced. I remember when we first started dating, he brought me up to meet his parents and we stayed in his childhood bedroom that even still had the same animal mural painted on the wall. I remember I was laying down for the night and he was out in the hallway talking to his "folks" and listening to them brought on something from deep inside me and I began to cry. Not because it was a beautiful thing what they shared or anything like that, but from a feeling of shame. I felt sad. I felt sad for myself that I'd never experienced anything like I'd witnessed in their every day interactions with each other, I felt ashamed that was going to be inept at matching that dynamic, and therefore and most importantly I felt discomfort. I felt out of place, like I didn't belong here. I felt out of my element, as there was no dysfunction anywhere to be seen. I cried and when he came in and saw me like that he was caught off guard and very concerned. Being the good man that he was, he laid with me and comforted me and told me that I didn't have to be sad because they "could be (mine) too", and that there was plenty of love to go around. In the end though, years later and after having a son, I did end up leaving. That was about 15 years ago. I definitely was not healed from my own upbringing much less had I done any inner work to figure out what that meant in terms of how I'd do relationships. A lot has happened since then and I do feel bad for walking away rather than getting help but it's all I knew in that moment. I walked away not because I thought surely this was too good to be true, but because I thought it was too good FOR ME. That I would never be able to deliver the level of love that he was used to because I never experienced it myself. It was about me believing I was unworthy of that kind of life. 19 years after that night crying because I felt inadequate and cheated by my own family, and I'm still not healed completely. To be honest, on the long road to Spiritual Oneness, I'm a long way off still. But over the last 5 or so years I've really dug deep and gone willingly into my Shadow so that I can finally heal the past and Love myself in all the ways that were withheld from me growing up. I thought I'd share this so that folks knew it isn't always from a place of distrust or doubt that someone leaves a seemingly good relationship. It could be that they don't understand the language or the emotional climate of a loving and supportive family dynamic and without the occasional toxic drama flare-up, they just don't feel like they are comfortable because they've only ever known chaos. Moral of the Story: Heal yourself first if you've grown up in a toxic family, because even if you do find the "perfect one" they won't be able to save you, fix you or magically make you happy. You gotta figure that shit out on your own. Thanks.

[@luckyduckydaisyflower2344]

Gifted writer you are

[@sxed4vid]

Wow, you just threw away an extremely beautiful and fulfilling life you could have had. Does the pain ever go away?

[@claramendes672]

I’m going through a breakup after 5 years on and off. listening to Stephan in the past week is what saved me to see a light at the end of the tunnel. His sense of justice is amazing and he is extremely intelligent. My ex left me because of the promise of finding something better. We have strong feelings for each other. But I am from abroad, 8 years older with 2 kids. His ambition to get a better woman crushed my self stem.. and I now listening to Stephan talking about this ambition in men and these “false promises” that society and internet put on your face (and shoulders!) .. I just hope that my ex simply didn’t love me enough and I hope he’s not falling into that trap. I have an intuition about the second option though. Unfortunately.

[@jocelynf4209]

Just know the right man will see your worth & will fully love you! Sometimes people feel there is better out there or the grass is greener on the other side. The grass is green where we water it! We all have to do our inner work so that we can also consistently pour into our relationships! Stay strong hun!❤

[@camellia8625]

It is good he eliminated himself from a he running. Shallowness isn’t exactly an attractive quality in a life partner

[@boobooscooboo]

It’s insane how narcissistic you are. As if he was an evil doer and you were the saint in the entire relationship 🤡 I bet you gave yourself to another man on break, came back less submissive and ruined yourself. Imagine thinking you’re the good guy in all this 🤡 only a woman

[@marylogan6711]

The man is the Head the woman is the HEART ..I like that better

[@tinker2217]

This was much better than I anticipated. Great interview Tom.

[@cathyjennings5580]

Compatibility in conversations, many subjects to have a fulfilling life. Important!!!

[@Medietos]

Stephan is right, sympathy is not good in the long run, compassion and empathy is. Tom, one can work to come to understand the other's feelings without actually agreeing and feeling the same. John Gray explains it well in his YT talk on Why Todays Women have become Masculine," or something to that effect.What she needs from her man (and what he needs from her).If he tries to understand and shows some interest in her, it is OK if he doesn't get there, but acknowledges. Also, if he understands her soul, being, it is good. F ex if Lisa has unresolved childhood trauma where things were very loud and she easily gets into sympathitic activation-mode. Tom might get that without being similar.

[@PookieAkATiana]

I’m glad I didn’t skip then video. Very informative and very valid points ❤

[@MarilynRivera1212]

Stephan never disappoints!

[@Luckii7Tarot]

I love this conversation between 2 educated, different men. ❤

[@rosaliejackson7650]

Tom, spot on at 1:30! Men in person can convince a woman with sense of humor and great conversation. Powerful!

[@adrianlaw5907]

Tom...you spoke more in this interview than asking questions

[@laindia8140]

Yes spoke too much and didn’t let his guest speak as much

[@gains1987]

Needed this today! 🙌🏾 ran across it by chance but I'm really thankful I did, learned alot!

[@shellbell8062]

Love Stephan - it's not often you see such pure wisdom. I was surprised that he is an INFJ but it makes sense as he is such an amazing teacher. I really had him down as an ENFP as his disposition is so joyful and they also have that amazing insight into the human condition.

[@ShawnOG13]

It’s normal to be down bad and boss up ona ex, respectfully. It’s the hero’s journey

[@DIAMONDGIRL57]

As a “high value” woman, I don’t intend on ever getting married again. I’ve discovered from my experience, many men are inconsiderate, emotionally unavailable and aloof; attributes that have nothing to do with money. I prefer to be alone.

[@kitty1256x]

👍👍👍👍

[@thedarkestknight8381]

Sound like all you care about is using a man and his money please stay alone

[@himeehengari2939]

Great discussion!! I think all males should watch this!! I is actually Introvertism, N for intuition, F is for feeling in the personality test

[@eddyb4]

Only if they are going to be truly objective

[@flaco0526]

I don't want to waste my energy "handling" a woman. She needs to hold her own and be a grown-up about life. High value is holding it working on herself and at the house. Drama free zone

[@joseroman7553]

I needed so bad this info at this time! Thanks a lot!

[@LightBeingsBE]

Lol! Glad you got what you needed so you can go the right direction…😂 it’s a lot of lonely men out here.

[@timothysimmons6733]

So maybe this is just a character statement of myself. I don’t want everything I have built taken from me by divorce. However if the the house alarm went off and I died protecting my house, my love, my family. If I died in the instant, and I protected those values. I would want them to be taken care of. I mention this because of the prenuptial topic. I have a lot of questions about romantic relationships because I focused on my stability and success. I have a lot to learn about romantic relationships.

[@ronicmwest]

This is a great and much-needed conversation. I normally never pay attention to any relationship talks on the internet because it is so toxic and counterproductive. I won't even let it enter my ears. It is actually really sad when you think about it. I heard the first 10 minutes and was like this is going to be good. I have heard a few more conversations amongst men on this level. I'm hoping this begins to become a thing. The truth is men and women both have things to work on. It is so critical that it is coming from a very healthy balance perspective and person. Many times on the internet this is not the case. Just happy to see it here. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@JAWD111]

I just love you and your wife!! You guys are so good at what you do!!

[@ileanamuntean7338]

No amount of muscles and money will make you loved. Integrity is the key factor in both women and men.

[@DaOldSchoolRapLova96]

Being broke & weak won’t either though.

[@Anthony-dj4nd]

Muscles and money make the draws drop though!😂

[@ileanamuntean7338]

@@DaOldSchoolRapLova96 It depends. At least, if it happens, you know it's for real. Having muscles does not mean you are "strong", just physically strong which is not important these days as it does not make your head stronger than a brick or your chest stronger than a bullet. Intelligence, education and know-how are the real strengths and, of course, strength of character.

[@arturocardona140]

Honestly majority of this aligns 100% with traditional RP talking points it’s just that they place the responsibility for the outcome on an assumption that the man slipped up. When a man loses his job the woman will love -> yeah because he gives up. Uh, yeah that’s a tough spot to be in and support is needed. This is why guys are told not to show weakness. It’s not easily overlooked or forgiven because as they said she must all times worship and respect him. So they both agree you should not lose your job because she leaves and women viewers can now clap also acknowledging the truth they once were offended by.

[@themr4560]

Ban Porn and Sexual Social Media and watch relationship quality improvement.

[@drewyetti]

Get rid of feminism and make abortions illegal would also help .

[@mmommo-hx4dx]

this felt like a counseling session for tom.

[@MEL2theJ]

So many strong, solid points. Thank you gentlemen 🙏

[@ms.dunamis6805]

Stephan is telling THEE truth!

[@nancyl8171]

I cannot be more agree with this guy!Cultures are very important, how we grew and how was the ambiance around us, my ex boyfriend left me because he feels insecure, I'm a very social girl and at the same time if I'm in a relationship I am very loyal and honest, but I think part of his decision is that he is jealous and controller, I'm Mexican Wich never been in the States, he is american he doesn't speak Spanish and then I realized the cultures are so important, for he to know we Mexicans are extra social for our roots. If your significant other cannot hold a difficult conversation for to fix what is happening is just simply saying is not ready.

[@Avicena-tf5uj]

The best podcasts for young men today. Thank you

[@LaJaunaAdeyemi]

Good discussion Interesting opinions Worthy of considerations Good food for thought. 🙏🏼🙌💖🙌🏽🙏🏼

[@corinaspfx]

6 minutes in and i'm sold on stephan and his approach

[@jzen1455]

High expectations while bringing little to the table = chronic singledom.

[@Medietos]

Or being too insecure, stressed and fearful.

[@Jennozen1]

Younger generational Entitlement is a problem. Folks think they deserve to be treated a certain way automatically regardless of what they're giving back.

[@JulioPaulino-w6d]

That’s a real man know thy self

[@KB-oe3sb]

Focus on self improvement and being an honest, genuine dependable person

[@carawhiting1579]

The Best podcast I’ve ever heard on dating.

[@youtubeviewer2338]

I've never seen or heard about this channel but relationship advice is very popular online fr I don't get it me and my girl happy never needed to get in front of a camera n tell the world of unless they pay me lol jeez hell naw man social media messing up real life fr

[@kaylabrown9273]

All this is soooooo true. Yes on both side. The balance in this relationship I love

[@Zen56103]

Interesting discussion. Although I kind of questioned Tom's idea of how easy dating would be if he was single. He's been married for 20 years. I've seen this many times: when men get out of the dating game for a long time, they idealize how easy it is. It's like hearing someone who hasn't boxed strategize about how they'd win against a professional boxer.

[@rogerbritus9378]

Having a billion dollars makes anyone attractive in the dating world.

[@mrgrovesempire]

These guys definitely haven't dated in the days of today. When I was married for 10 years, I would have agreed with them, but now I have been dating in this day, and it's not what they are saying.

[@cubiczirconiabeard5366]

Yes, with ease of communication nowadays, women think they can get the leading man in "50 shades of grey" just because they can IM them. And if they just believe in themselves hard enough, they are all "tens".