Top 10 Terrible Game Names

[@eVanDiesel]

Mike Dilisio is the greatest possible addition to The Dice Tower

[@adamV1P]

Team Claw Town.

[@kbegemotHD]

yeeessss

[@knitlobe1305]

Zee is already too funny but this Mike guy can absolutely be in the same category.

[@giochiamoconsaraeandrea1745]

True!

[@kidunderabridge]

Agreed! Zee and Mike are my favourites, and they bounce off each other soooo well!

[@DanielHansen_Toulouse]

6 nimmt, does not mean "take 6" (that would be "nimm 6") but "the 6 takes". Does make sense as the 6th card takes the 5 others. Source: I am German.

[@jonaskissling8343]

Have you noticed some people say almost "nimmit"...

[@nshaw1299]

@akplmn I am groot

[@JonathonV]

Thanks for confirming that. I assumed that was the case because the French version is called “6 qui prend”, which means “six who takes”.

[@kyrrilcrepeele1353]

People who don't speak german complaining about a german name. Have you heard Tom pronouce Prêt-a-porter?

[@blackbot7113]

That's what the guy in the crowd says as well, he corrects it to "Six takes".

[@Highbrow42]

Mike has seriously been the best addition to the dicetower. Always hilarious!

[@josephboccio6120]

The audio quality here is phenomenal! Would love to see more of these in the future.

[@JonoNZBoardGamer]

I agree, often these live events have bad audio, but this was very good. Well done to the team behind the scenes

[@suzannebrownbill9232]

I wonder if GenCon spent extra time getting the audio right in that room because of GenCon Online

[@kerim8666]

6 nimmt translates to ‘6 takes’, which is literally wjat happens in the game. If you play the 6th card you take the cards on the row

[@DeyaViews]

Yeah, it's good and descriptive! I am actually kind of annoyed that it got translated here as "Take 5!" which still kinda fits (you take five cards when you place the 6th), but it changes the meaning from the meaning of the original in a significant way. Plus there are other games called Take 5, so it's confusing.

[@notsaved]

that dude had literally all the worst takes in this list

[@StyxTBuferd]

@@notsaved By FAR. Some of them were really childish too. Like "Die Steben Spiegal". Come on, it's just German.

[@Lines42]

Jip. Came here to say the same. Someone tell Steven...

[@ramonsohal2404]

I was looking for this comment :D yes the missunderstood it...

[@channingjones]

For anybody wondering why the name of "Stone Age: Style is the Goal". It's a somewhat bad translation of the German title: "Stone Age: Mit Stil zum Ziel". A better translation would have been "Stone Age: Get to the Goal with Style".

[@getyourgameon4935]

Thanks for that info. But that name is not appealing either. It's a title where you wonder if they were high when coming up with names.

[@ramonosuke]

Oof that sounds even worse

[@grantofat6438]

Lol. That is a terrible translation they made there.

[@selfthinker]

The German name is slightly better because it rhymes.

[@matthiasschulz3569]

The German name for "Abandon All Artichokes" is just the German word for artichokes. When I asked the person at my local gaming store whether they had artichokes, I got a long weirded out look, until I specified that I was talking about a card game of that name ...

[@rabidpickle]

So so glad the audio turned out so well. Great work!

[@Noonycurt]

@Stephen, you shouldn't complain about titles in a language you don't understand. "Schottentotten" is a play on "Schotton" and "Hottentotten" (a word that is a bit problematic, but that's beside the point). "6 Nimmt" doesn't mean "Take 6", but "6 Takes", as in the player who places the 6th card has to take all cards.

[@h.4703]

"Let's Make a Bus Route" is actually the Japanese name as well, there's no "missed translation." It's a fun and cute title.

[@oclaline]

Yes, I completely agree. That was so cringe and actually quite offensive.

[@Phildiculous]

@@h.4703 That's a little different since that's the English title. There's no misunderstanding about how another language works there, it just sounds weird when translated to English. What's so egregious about Buonocore's German choices were that he picked 3 titles in a language he seems to fundamentally misunderstand.

[@pilotvc]

But they obviously chose the title just because it rhymes. He doesn't like the name for that reason, bc it is lame like Aztack

[@Dr_C_Smith]

@@oclaline There’s a lot of cringe in this video. It’s pretty awful as far as I’m concerned.

[@Phildiculous]

I thought a couple of Mike's picks were bananas but since Buonocore joined them, Mike's picks seem very logical.

[@bricelory9534]

Let's Make a Bus Route is such a fun title - it is definitely a light-hearted name that draws me in. "Bus Route" or similar is beyond dry and boring to me. I am far more interested in "Let's Make a Bus Route" than "Bus Route" as a consumer.

[@GKEK]

totally agree! Let's Make a Bus Route is a GREAT title!

[@mrskwid1]

Super agree, especially considering there is also a game named bus.

[@jackiejlw5493]

What comes to mind for me is very boring school textbooks trying to sell learning like my high school French textbook series “Allons-y!” (Let’s go!). It’s a groan-inducing declaration of a ‘fun’ group activity. The game though is great and one of my favorite roll & writes.

[@RaduStanculescu]

Agreed, that is such a different name from all the "city name" or "generic activity" titles!

[@Phildiculous]

I think Bus Route is boring and really, we should all be able to agree that it's too dry a title for what that game is... but I think the appeal of "Let's Make a Bus Route" is partly that it falls into the format of a Japanese phrase with a stilted sounding English translation and there's a fair amount of charm there for a lot of people. But I think it's also fair to poke some fun at it.

[@GKEK]

Hands down, Zee's list is flawless! XD Couldn't stop laughing...

[@zandarrthegreat6790]

10 thumbs up!

[@randomjunk1977]

Dragon Face is so simple but also incredibly dumb it might have been the funniest of the lot.

[@Boneidolmatt]

I’m surprised none of them mentioned - Roland Wright - The Dice Game

[@gameon2553]

That's actually funny.

[@oneiros]

In german we call the flower cowslip or primrose "Schlüsselblume". The literal translation would be indeed "Keyflower".

[@zacdredge3859]

21:16 Just to be clear calico is plain white, course fabric. It's not the kind of thing you'd use for quilting unless it's a very boring quilt; the cat breed being different as well is bizarre.

[@bricelory9534]

Sad that no one caught Tom's "now you're just PANdering" pun about skillets - perfect!

[@MrKeller13]

Yep literally paused it right after that joke to come comment this. Died laughing at that.

[@gutsyt123]

It was so smooth and subtle, didn’t even notice it.

[@gameon2553]

Maybe they ignored it as it wasn't funny.

[@bricelory9534]

@@gameon2553 Obviously that's not the case. It is self-evidently funny. How dare you have a different sense of humor than I. Am offend. (Note sarcasm)

[@gameon2553]

@@bricelory9534 😁

[@middleclassboardgamer]

If Zee and Mike did a stand up tour, I would buy tickets tomorrow.

[@MrScrawnjuan]

Zee is hilarious

[@justinkitton5492]

Sidereal confluence is clearly a pun on cosmic encounter. Cosmic = Sidereal, Encounter = Confluence.

[@jdotco23]

Zee and Mike...man, those guys are so funny. And their lists are fantastic.

[@acidfloyd2]

Thanks for posting for those of us who could not make it to Gencon. Quality was fantastic!

[@dinokafedzic1476]

Actually i find americans's missinterpretation for GER: "Die Sieben Siegel" to EN "Die Steven Seagal" as hilarious and best of the list.

[@brynnhardwick7623]

This is fantastic! The next list needs to be Bad Cover Art, in which Mike creates his own to remedy them. Thank you for entertaining me today!

[@guillermoz4914]

Thank you Mike for the hilarious cover art!! Wad up Sam🙌🏽

[@samlauver]

Vaselicious Fishes: Fashion Fist Fight: A Vicious Fishes game: A Friedman Friese collaboration

[@Sweetestsadist]

Nice

[@gameon2553]

Sexual perversions don't make great game titles.

[@TheDarktater]

That was so much fun to be at and listen to. What a great idea for a humorous top 10 - really kept the audience involved.

[@patcon314]

"Sacred Heart" is a common Roman Catholic name for all kinds of places. As a kid, the RC kids in the neighborhood went to Sacred Heart Elementary.

[@boardgameknight2791]

We played Sacred Heart in high school - they always kicked our butts.

[@boardgameplays]

Zee's number #1, lol. When I got married I was introduced to Doubles Solitaire. I watched confused as I and 5 others were given decks of cards. Then we played "double" "solitaire" with six people. Basically, it was 6 people playing classic Solitaire but all piles were shared. I left that room a different human being.

[@PsiRedEye22]

Watching Buonocore implode here is amazing. It's ALMOST harder to watch than Scott's Tots. Almost.

[@Mentat1231]

This was one of my favorite Top 10s in a long time. Reminds me of the old Overrated One from way back. Classic.

[@JayBee10]

While I’m in the middle of watching Zee roast MonsDRAWsity here, The Dice Tower just published a review from Bryan Drake on a game called “ExeCUTEtion.” I’m going to believe the timing isn’t a coincidence.

[@ThrehaneMiniatures]

You beat me to this comment! I noticed the same thing.

[@jacklucian8]

I’m a big Stone Age fan, but I can never take “Style Is The Goal” seriously.

[@LookAtTheBacon]

It was a German title before, where you have the nice rhyme, "Mit Stil zum Ziel". So they changed it and couldn't keep the wordplay alive. Too bad, I guess.

[@shanyin499]

Mike's expression during the German Shepherd announcement is classic

[@slickgoham]

no bro no

[@directassault1662]

The guy going before Tom is the king of bad takes

[@dexdouglas]

I am listening to this on the DTV Audio podcast and just needed to come on here to comment and say this is a great panel. Hilarious stuff! Wish I was there!

[@WonderfulPlays]

Thanks for mentioning CVlizations! It was obviously publisher's decisions to make CV into a series. There were works on a 3rd game, but it got scrapped and eventually Filip published 3rd one called CV pocket. When the prototype was being developed it was under a very bland name "Tribes". I think the name did a lot of good for the quick boost of publicity initially, can't really assess the longterm pros and cons.

[@Mentat1231]

I don't think "Imperial Settlers" is bad, but "Imperial Settlers: Empires of the North" was a HUGE mistake for a name! For one thing, it sounds like an expansion, when it's a totally different game. And it also ties the game to "the North", which they've already completely abandoned in the expansions (like Egyptian Kings). Just a terrible terrible name.

[@jherrenor]

Santorini New York. I never realized how dumb that name was until the obvious was pointed out.

[@Allies1]

Zee is a clear winner in my book, the last one, perfect :')

[@labyfan1313]

I agree. I think his first and last ones were the best.

[@Coastercinder]

The sequel to Santorini should have been called San2rini.

[@nshaw1299]

And the sequel to schotten totten - schotten twotten

[@marktaylor4962]

San:2:rini (in New York)!

[@koalabrownie]

And the follow up, Santothreeni

[@nshaw1299]

@@koalabrownie lolz

[@Coastercinder]

This is getting out of hand 😄

[@tinnitusrex9534]

"Schotten Totten" is a word play on the German term "Hottentotte" - which has its own deeply problematic racial subtext . "6 nimmt" does not mean "take 6" - it means "6 takes", as in "6 takes it".

[@TheFettuck]

"Schotten Totten" also means "Pull Scots" which means that you pull cards with scottish people on them.

[@tinnitusrex9534]

@@TheFettuck - interesting. Haven't heard that one before.

[@gameon2553]

What racial subtext.

[@blackbot7113]

@@gameon2553 "Hottentotten" is a derogatory term used for Africans (originally south africans, but I don't think most people are aware). It's not used much anymore and according to Wikipedia it stems from making fun of the way they talk. But, for example, I remember the word "Hottentottenmusik" (hottentotten music) showing up in books and alike, usually spoken by elderly characters talking about "black" music with a clearly implied disdain. It's a bit like making a game about Samurai monkeys and calling it "Chinkanzees".

[@razjml]

@@blackbot7113 Oh, so like Aztak? 👀 I would accept that name from a Mexican punk band from the 80s, maybe like a militant Chicanx student group, and no other context. Did not associate it with "Hottentot," Sartje Baartman and all that, because "Hottentotten" seems like a Germanization of the Dutch term. But you know, those German boardgame designers are famously sensitive to cultural contexts and history 😙🎶

[@Atariese]

I've always had problems with the name "No Thanks". Its a quick, easy little card game. However most people would rather say the joke and walk away from the table than sit down and play. Its name is sabotaging for my evening.

[@notsaved]

also Sacred Heart hospitals (and churches) are named after one of the key Catholic devotions, puzzled how it seems like nobody knew that

[@longtimeninerfan1309]

Yes, refers to the heart of Jesus.

[@patcon314]

The cover for Mike's dog-themed "German Shepherd" game should have been a kid in lederhosen.

[@tinnitusrex9534]

Bavaria isn't really the focus here.

[@rekakristo1002]

That was an example for writing one thing and showing another, like his point for calling the game calico, but putting a ginger cat on the cover.

[@jonaskissling8343]

@@tinnitusrex9534 oh dont get me started on the cover art of Cubitos...

[@gameon2553]

... with a crook.

[@johansvanborg5870]

No - with that cover it could be a game about herding sheep in the fields of Germany.

[@Liam3Bucks]

Zee's picks are always spot on for lists like these.

[@atomiccritter6492]

he absoluelty knocks it out the park in this video

[@JorWat25]

His knowledge of seemingly every game ever made really shines in lists like this. Everyone else is picking well-known games with names that are a little strange; Zee is able to find obscure games that actually have terrible names.

[@LegoAssassin098]

Although its a game that basically no one has heard of, I'm partial to the game titled (Translated from Japanese from BGG): "A game where an enclosed short young lady, a perfect class representative, a slightly elder classy maid, a normal high school girl with the aura of a hamster, among others, try to win an unlucky-looking girl-faced butler with a debt of about 160 million yen. There's cross-dressing, too" That is the genuine title. It's apparently just essentially reverse Old Maid. You want to be the one with the Butler (old maid) at the end.

[@Outrun37]

Agree on both KDM and 878 Vikings, first one cause it's just cool sounding nonsense, and the second because it's confusing at a glance.

[@mussoliniheadkick]

In defense of KDM: the art, miniature series and general lore from Poots existed before the board game and is called Kingdom Death. The boardgame came later, and is named Kingdom Death: Monster to separate it from all the other Kingdom Death: stuff.

[@RyanHeath-ho9qp]

Mike has added so much to the dice tower. He seems so knowledgable, brings a different angle to the other hosts, is incredibly funny and self deprecating.

[@Straddllw]

Ironically I think naming it “Trading in the Mediterranean” would have made it sell better than “Trade on the Tigris.”

[@Jammonstrald]

100% agree. Trade on the Tigris sounds exactly as dry and forgettable as a publisher would worry over. Trading in the Mediterranean is at least tongue-in-cheek and SO on-the-nose dry as to be memorable and humorous.

[@rnghwdbcs]

Imperial Settlers is referring to the old video game "The Settlers", which was very popular in some countries (including, not surprisingly, Poland). I guess not in the US though :D

[@alrith72]

Mike short burst of Human Beatbox (a la The Fat Boys) was just brilliant 😂

[@missitheachievementhuntres560]

I work in a board game webshop and when I saw the title of this top 10 I instantly thought about “the game” it is horrible to search for.

[@smiller8138]

This was one of the highlights of Gen Con 2021 for us.

[@KabukiKid]

First thing I thought of for this was The Game and the next thing was Batman Love Letter. I then wondered if the Stone Age expansion would be on here if they allowed expansions, as well. I wasn't disappointed to see them all here. lol :-) Very fun list.

[@christopherlamonica7982]

Zee Garcia nailed it here, every time, with a sense of humor to boot. He's best when he's "light" and removes his "serious" edge, which can come across as nasty. Yes, as others say, Mike is excellent.. his nerdiness is his best quality, which he shouldn't hide... For sure, Mike is closest in taste to my own, followed by Zee. Great - you have to admit - to watch, great for the advance/popularity of board gaming..

[@JonTripp115]

I agree that Kingdom Death: Monster is a bad title. I'd be more forgiving if it was a sequel to a game called Kingdom Death or something...

[@TrenceA]

Imperial Settlers always reminds me of the Ubisoft videogame Settlers (especially the 2nd and 3rd installments). Extremely popular in Europe late 90s, the art was very much the same as IS and featured Romans, Asians and Egyptians. The name makes perfect sense in that context.

[@blackbot7113]

Small nitpick: Back then the publisher was not yet Ubisoft, but Blue Byte. Ubisoft only started to pick up steam in the early 00s. But yeah, that was my very first association as well.

[@longtimeninerfan1309]

Tom is bitter that “The Castles of Mad King Ludwig” is ranked higher on BGG than is “Suburbia”. 🤣

[@wroot_lt]

I forgot how much i liked these live big panel shows/lists. And haven't laughed so much in a while :D

[@JaKamps]

Diced Coffee would've been a great name! "Coffee Colons"!!! Lol

[@BoardGameCo]

How did no one make the joke....Poop: The Colon Game

[@KingsElite56]

Zee is right on Majesty: For the Realm. I continually would mix that game up with Kashgar, Hadara, and Crown of Emara. The covers don't help the distinction at all either.

[@JorgenTheWorgen]

how about Atlantis Rising? It's actually the opposite that's happening

[@JJ_TheGreat]

1:12:46 Actually, my nana and I used to each play Klondike Solitaire, simultaneously, on the opposite side of the table and we called it “Double Solitaire”.

[@lorcannagle]

Flip a Bird is another case of colloquialism not crossing the ocean, but in the other direction. In English in Europe that offensive gesture is called giving someone the finger.

[@ormhaxan]

Shocked Terraforming Mars: Venus Next wasn't even an honorable mention.

[@unlimitedrabbit]

Do you suppose the future Terraforming Mars: Uranus will alter its colon? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@thedeanborecki]

Zee was in his bag for this, he was so animated

[@maktmissbrukare]

Professor Pugnacious' Portfolio of Perils, Pugilism, and Perfidy: The Card Game of Victorian Combat I wasn’t expecting it to make any of the lists but I loathe that title.

[@arekkrolak6320]

Calico fabric is a plain-woven textile, made from half-processed and unbleached cotton fibres :)

[@RaduStanculescu]

Will watch later, but "The Game" really should be on the list...

[@TheNathanlockhart]

I vaguely remember that "Style is the Goal" was a cultural/translation mismatch. Like there is a common German play on words that translated to this literally, or it rhymed in German. Something like that and the company just translated it literally word for word.

[@phoebica]

The german title is "Mit Stil zum Ziel", so id indeed rhymes and just means, that you now have a new objective to win

[@ropearoni4]

I guess I'm honored to have a game in an actual top 10 list on the dice tower ;)

[@nicholasimholte7359]

Which one?

[@ropearoni4]

Healthy heart hospital

[@LEGnewTube]

I have "Batman: Love Letter" I've always just called it "Love letter: Batman Edition". I mean, it doesn't say "Batman: Love Letter" on the box. Just "love letter" with a picture of Batman. (Also, mine didn't come with a bag).

[@Straddllw]

I can’t wait for the expansion: Duel: the Solo Game.

[@nshaw1299]

I was always hoping thr film 'The one' with Jet Li would have a sequel so we'll have a film called 'The one: two'

[@Harrumph]

I'm surprised Nanty Narking didn't get included in this, as for as awful names go it has actively kept me from ever trying what is reputed to be a great re-implementation of the Ankh Morpork Discworld themed game.

[@Stormbrise]

If there are or were 878 Vikings, there would be no beer left on the wall!

[@erythrocebuspatas]

Can you please explain "Charty Party" to a non-native English speaker?

[@frk0788]

Yeah I don’t get it either.

[@francisd8650]

Its a game about making charts (graphs), so to make it rhyme with "Party", they added a "Y" at the end :P

[@nahailyenvanakkor]

I think the question was about why you wouldn’t want to say it quickly (I also don’t understand).

[@LeeKenshin7]

I think "Party" may come across as "Farty"?

[@BLindForger]

Saying charty party real fast sounds like 'sh'arty party, which would be a party where everyone poops accidently when farting.

[@joelkurylo874]

The expansion to Zee's #7 should be "Aztack: (colon) Montezuma's Revenge".

[@annominous826]

For the "too many colons" titles, it's not a board game or anything like that, but my favorite RPG book title has to be Vampire: the Masquerade 20th Anniversary Edition: The Making of the Art of the Children of the Revolution.

[@duncancole1742]

For Kingdom Death the name of the game is actually Monster. Kingdom Death was/is a company that makes minis and this was their first (and to date only?) game.

[@kallanda]

You are some humorous lads. Really enjoy the chemistry and good laughs.

[@Drosophilax]

Stephen Buonocore: Schottentotten is a word play on Hottentotten. de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hottentotten

[@nshaw1299]

'Captain Sonar' killed me... hahaha!! It's like, not bad... but it's also terrible and lazy at the same time. And also, do you, at some point, become 'Admiral Sonar' if you own multiple copies?

[@squared82]

TOP NOTCH AUDIO QUALITY.

[@Bllurr1]

The appearance of Sam was awesome and highly appropriate. 😆

[@kevinbhieey9188]

I'm sorry but I know nothing about quilting and yet I looked at that box and immediately said, "Clearly 'Calico' must be a quilting term." Even if that wasn't enough of a clue, the game has various cat breeds, most of which you don't even use in a game. So if you are sitting there and all you see are tabbies, you SHOULD think, "Oh, MAYBE the name isn't referring to a cat." Furthermore, the game is 100% about quilting, it's not about the cats. You only get a cat if the quilting is done correctly. To say it's about cats is like saying it's about the buttons. Sadly, Button probably would've been a better name because people would've just thought the cat's name was Button. Yes, this annoys me and I don't know why. That said, the publishers sure didn't help things by not including anything in the rules about what 'Calico' actually refers to. Yes, some of us have the ability to acknowledge visual clues and can work Google, but still...

[@rekakristo1002]

I think why most peaple assume calico is about the cat, becouse that is the most dominant thing on the cover. The quilt is just the background.

[@ormhaxan]

Sidereal Confluence is a synonym for Cosmic Encounter, and the only reason that's the name is because Cosmic Encounter is kinda taken.

[@StyxTBuferd]

Somehow that makes the title worse for me lol

[@-RTC-]

Have any of you guys ever played “Tom Vasel’s” Vicious Fishes?

[@chrisdunn6096]

My first question was, "Why exactly 878 vikings?" #Buonocoregetstoomuchcrap

[@tristanwhitley]

It's funny that one of the ones on my list would be Atlantis Rising, because the game is about Atlantis sinking. I have explained that many times over.

[@patrickc9046]

The sound and presentation is really well done for being at a Con. Thanks for publishing this!

[@hucz]

44:29 Zee with his skillet jokes 😆👌

[@Specialist0815]

Schottentotten is a wink at Hottentotten which was a tribe with a bad reputation in the middle ages. There is an expression that translates to "It looks as if we are at the Hottentotten" which means your place is a mess.

[@MrCrixmadine2]

The We're Back reference by Chris should not go unnoticed

[@Stankiem83]

Thanks so much for posting this! Quality is quite good!

[@jareksmith3554]

Dear Tom, for years we have had to listen to you complain about the poor naming system of the Valeria games. How could it NOT be on this list?!?!?!

[@keel1701]

Bullfrog Goldfield was an actual railroad so I'm guessing thats where the name came from.

[@TheGuardimaster]

the 878 viking reason give a headache this top 10 was really fun

[@codym6376]

Thanks for uploading the top ten for us!! Normally I like Mike point of view but couldn’t agree with most of his here. Also, weirdly agreed the Viking game should have A.D. in the title.

[@LawrenceMiles1972]

If "Keyflower" is meant to be based on the Mayflower, they could've called it "Keylonialism".

[@matthiasschulz3569]

After Keyflower and Keyflow, I personally would like to see Keyflowest ...

[@bricelory9534]

@@matthiasschulz3569 which would be about selling floral arrangements with a slight lisp. Eh, eh? I'll see myself out...

[@matthiasschulz3569]

@@bricelory9534 You over-estimate my English skills. I didn't get the problem with Charty Party until veeeeeery much later (it is about not pronouncing it "sharty", isn't it?), so I'm lost wrt lisping floral arrangements :/

[@bricelory9534]

@@matthiasschulz3569 haha, no worries! To be honest, I'm still not fully sure what the exact problem with Charty Party is! Keyflowest would be a bit of a pun on Key-florist, if you said florist with a bit of a lisp, that's all I was meaning ☺️ a purposefully bad pun to take your joke a bit further.

[@matthiasschulz3569]

@@bricelory9534 Ahhhh, thanks for explaining :)

[@kiki21370]

what about "MonsDrawsorus Aztack MeepleCity, the card drawing game where Dinosaurs attack my people´s city" for a new sequel?