Trump Claims He Would Have 'Run' Into The School

During Monday's meeting with governors, Donald Trump proposed one thing that might have prevented the school shooting in Florida: himself.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@jennygjg27]

People here are critiquing Colbert because of the ways he's criticizing Trump, but what all people need to realize is that it is Colbert's job to do so. He is not a traditional journalist, that is not his job. He has no obligation to be bipartisan/neutral about any current events. His show is a news satire show; he's supposed to deliver news in a mocking manner. By delivering current events in a mocking manner, he is delivering his critique which, even if some of the audience disagrees with it, is rooted in something true.

[@yungpo9853]

With the amount dumb shit Trump spews Colbert pretty much has to flame his ass. Trump's material writes itself.

[@CameronMacadam]

I like this to hear the fun stuff trump says

[@WilliamHBaird-eq2hp]

Teachers only make 30K per year and are stressed out to the max! Yeah Give them all guns!

[@Jack-rw8ee]

William H. Baird yeh worth it to stop 13 dead kids ay, fucking open ur eyes

[@finsoto6936]

Jack Barry having a teacher kill a fuckin kid is equally as scary. “Class please open your textbooks to pa... BANG BANG.” Just ban semi automatic rifles and you’ll be fine

[@annmitchell4663]

All it takes is one stressed/fed up/pissed off/depressed teacher with access to a gun.....?

[@AlashiaTuol]

I work as an aid at a public school rather than a teacher, so I'm not the one who gets stuck with a lot of the hard stuff, but I see the rest of the staff and their working conditions every day. With the low pay, the lack of real support, perpetual understaffing, and all the extra responsibilities the systems are pushing onto teachers for the sake of political posturing because they know teachers can't refuse without the kids being affected, it would not surprise me if somewhere in this country, a teacher snapped in the first WEEK of being told to arm themselves during school hours. Kids fight all the time in schools. There's the usually violent ones to look out for, but there's always a kid or two who are perfectly sweet but, if they snap, surprise everyone by going from kind and loving to throwing the metal tables and chairs. Sometimes a kid tries to strike a teacher. These incidents are rare (only once or twice a year at our school), but not so rare that it isn't happening somewhere in the country on a given school day. Would you trust every teacher across the country to _never, ever, not once_ make the mistake of reflexively defending themselves with the weapon the school asks they carry?

[@julialostetter8855]

The only thing that would help is more teachers to commit suicide

[@GTRJohn13]

Just like he ran into Vietnam right?!

[@GTRJohn13]

silverbird58 The 1st half hour of of Colbert is must see TV . He points out reality to all the brain dead Trump die hards!

[@texaswolverine3065]

silverbird58 English second language?

[@pauloandrade925]

More like -1000th language.

[@JustJesstheMess]

LOLOL yes!!! That fat pumpkin would take maybe one step towards the school and then fall over crying "bone spurs!!"

[@PADARM]

Im not from US but I still can't believe a guy like Trump is the President of one of the biggest Nations in the World. WTF America!! what have you done!!

[@sth02]

He didn't win the popular. Not all of us are too braindead

[@coolhari2000]

We're sorry. To be fair, majority of voters did NOT vote for him 😭

[@unknownerror8799]

@@sth02 Hillary is a war criminal. Trump is a great man.

[@unknownerror8799]

@@coolhari2000 Hillary is a war criminal. The nation would be up in flames if Hillary were to be elected.

[@trnod]

@@unknownerror8799 - And now you are a known error !

[@SIMKINETICS]

Up to this point, I thought a negative IQ was impossible.

[@uniwasamistake6334]

SIMKINETICS We all did..... And we never knew all such samples would end up in the white house....

[@allenfackler]

You just proved it's not!

[@metoo5908]

The guy who dodged the draft, ready to go unarmed and face an active shooter?????????

[@tomschmitz1336]

uh, he didn't dodge the draft, uh, uh, the draft never came to him! yeah, that's it! (sarcasm)

[@njpatriot6068]

Me Too was no draft , are you a VET ? what are you doing about it Hater ? You should be ashamed of yourself

[@moss2388]

He didn’t dodge the draft, he had a bone spur 🙃

[@1356071]

HA I'm dead XD

[@tramallkellup3664]

Me Too he also dodged viral diseases in the 90s

[@totalwar1793]

I think he just learned the word "vicious" and he is trying to show it off.

[@ballsmcgee7765]

totalwar179 go back and play your anime games douchebag

[@judioregan4210]

totalwar179 - yeah. He obviously has 'Word of the Day' toilet paper.

[@jaimeacosta233]

The joke here is his supporters agree with him....still. As long as a black guy ain't president. God bless America! And space- a-lago.

[@ragnarokvii]

God nobody knows what a joke is nowadays

[@shahidabegum4195]

Finally someone mentioned his deferment from Vietnam. This is why I love Stephen and his writers.

[@JustinY.]

*Political Comment*

[@TommyTom21]

Justin Y. *Disagreeing Rant*

[@LFMteehee]

*juvenile response*

[@thicccereal9659]

*laughing and using the 😂 emoji even though it's not funny but im just pretending it is because it goes with my political stance*

[@TheA2P]

[b]Old man asking how bold text works on KZbin[/b]

[@rryanova]

Justin Y. *some reply defending some person*

[@Beaverj420]

Yeah..... the draft dodger is going to run in!

[@Jhon-md5ci]

Sma 556 why are you repeating the same shit over and over, what you don't have anything different to say?

[@Traskelion]

"Space Mar-a-Lago. Space-a-lago!" My brain: "No! Mars-a-Lago! C'mon!"

[@evanlucas8914]

Once again Trump proves the saying "better to stay silent and look the fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt"

[@NONPOINT420]

Evan Lucas ... oddly enough (but not really) you can see he's mentally challenged just by looking at him. He never had a chance 😂

[@Doom253]

Nick-E Nicole weeb

[@NONPOINT420]

Slick Rick ... did you mean "weed"? If so, I can't help you dude. But nice screen name. "Rick the Ruler" would have been good too.

[@nunyabidnss9094]

Evan Lucas idiot

[@evanlucas8914]

Deadly Sock Mafia that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying his response needs to be better than an ego stroking "what if". Those officers defied the standard of training that was set for them and let students die as a result. Instead of saying that Trump made some statement about "I would've done something" which I would've called anyone out on.

[@sereanaduwai8313]

He wants to run onto the scene at the school without a weapon? What a hero- when they gave him a gun to go to Vietnam he ran backwards so fast he arrived in Russia!

[@juliettekudrick8186]

Donald Trump is impressive in that no matter what situation he's in, he finds a way to brag about himself.

[@laydieelle7069]

+Julia Dana "Impressive". That's one word for it. 😂

[@russellcampbell9198]

Julia Dana Yes, it has amazed me too.

[@b-radg916]

He probably aced the "Enough About Me, What Do YOU Think About Me?" course at Trump University.

[@cacheman]

It's almost as if it was a sickness.

[@Tehui1974]

I'm not American, but damn - you guys deserve a much better President!

[@sweetsea8180]

Someone please show the video of Trump running off stage when they thought someone had a gun in the crowd. Sure... he'd go running into a school to stop a gunman! I seriously doubt the coward would do that!

[@CatsMeowPaw]

5:41 We have the Internet, videos, and predominantly American movies in Australia. We're not massacring each other in schools. Look for a different excuse.

[@insipiddisease]

CatsMeowPaw pretty obviously, it's because we got rid of automatic weapons. Lame hobby, for lame, weak, cowardly dipshits.

[@shaneryan6691]

KantSmasher well said mate.bang on!!!

[@insipiddisease]

Shane Ryan no wuckers bud. Port Arthur was a horrific tragedy, but can you imagine if it hadn't happened, or Hoddle St before it? We'd still be arguing this bullshit like the US, and Shooters and Fishers party would have the same power as the NRA. It's mind-boggling that this is still even a conversation in the US after Sandy Hook. Fuck, after Columbine.

[@KurtisMuniz]

Top 6 Entryways to Violence in the Youth: 1. Dungeons & Dragons 2. Comic Books 3. TV & Movies 4. Video Games 5. The Internet Take your pick.

[@billlowery1658]

Ah, but our Black People are considered people here. It would muck up anyone's record! Cheers though mate.

[@frodo279]

Genuinely laughed when he suggested movie rating system😂

[@XeLProductions]

Aaditya Chandrasekhar Donny has the best ideas

[@nfzeta128]

+SaVii 86 That's Big Don to you.

[@conniergrant3779]

I miss you so much, SC! 🙋‍♀️ Until you get back, I am rewatching ALL of your shows!!! 😊

[@b-radg916]

The only public statements he could be bothered to make for a day were tweets. When he finally spoke, he read from a teleprompter without empathy or emotion. It's impossible for me to imagine him having the heart or balls to run towards any sort of shooting.

[@andrewclastic2835]

I hadn't seen Trump's comments at 5:36. I literally had Stephen's same reaction at 5:56... Except my eyes were wider with utter shock and I questioned Trump's intelligence for the 80th time in my life.

[@CaminoAir]

The Trump presidency was like witnessing a stream of consciousness of someone who didn't expect or really want to be president, wasn't capable of being president, couldn't conduct themselves as a president should, didn't understand the presidency, didn't listen to sound advice, couldn't prepare his thoughts, could never admit to being in the wrong (no matter how toxic, inept or dishonest a statement), couldn't think of anything but his own juvenile self-image and who demonstrated an astonishing lack of basic, fundamental knowledge. Those 4 years will require volumes of academic analysis alone. The same amount of text as are normally devoted to a few decades of general history. There is simply so much dysfunction and poisonous activity to document.

[@Bigbrotheriswatchingus]

I think Franklin D. Roosevelt would have a better chance of running into the school than Donald

[@Hair8Metal8Karen]

And he's been dead for 73 years 😂

[@capz3217]

Yet still has more spine than Trump.

[@AccessoriesAddict5528]

CapZ ..... and more intelligence!

[@theboss297]

waiotahi52 lmao good one😂😂

[@Callipygous1975]

I think the bone spurs are in his skull.

[@ella7286]

silverbird58 u ok hun

[@beccak8166]

I just spit out my Apple juice 😂

[@johnapple6646]

silverbird58 what the fuck are you high

[@tselengbotlhole750]

🤣🤣🤣

[@loly1969]

How good is Mr Colbert ? STEVEN COLBERT is a national treasure

[@seriesjunkie0074]

Lalith Vithana Whereas Trump is a national embarrassment, bigly sad.

[@nobodyspecial9738]

You mean national disaster right?

[@skyft8661]

ULTIMATE VINES Colbert is a True. American. Hero. He symbolizes what America can become and a great person. His jokes are funny as fuck. You just don't get it.

[@Raz.C]

You guys are lucky to have trump as your president. He never fails to entertain. Sometimes I wish our PM was as hilarious as trump, but then I remember that our nation isn't an international joke...

[@marionkeenan2980]

Razar Campbell it depends which nation you are from? UK after Brexit is a close second surely? You even have an absurd Donald look alike Boris Johnson lol

[@uniwasamistake6334]

If you are canadian, you have not seen Trudeau's Mumbai dance skillz. That was the funniest thing related to government officials(exept for the D)

[@Raz.C]

Marion Yeah, but despite the desperate need for a political enema that grips the UK right now, no one could reasonably claim that the UK is an international joke. Same for Canada. Bush jr. laid the ground work, but the clown-college-level hilarity was built by trump. I don't know of any nation that can take america seriously right now (small island nations like Tonga, Nassau, etc... excepted).

[@mclovin9578]

Razer are you making fun of Trump or Americans? As a Canadian I'm empathetic of their plight and the points about Johnson and Trudeau are spot on. Trump is an embarrassment no doubt but remember.... we all live in glass houses.

[@uniwasamistake6334]

mike mcculloch I thing Razer can make fun of both. At least half of Americans gave Trump presidency.

[@trickstrgod911]

I don't want this movement to die down. Usually we end up being sad about these shootings for a week and then things go back to normal. I feel like this time is different. Things need to change, and people are tired of nothing getting done.

[@TakenByThePlague]

Suggestions, please. This is a difficult situation to assess and change without infringing on anyone's rights or ultimately having the opposite end result you were striving for.

[@ethanwhite2880]

How are those “smart” gun laws working out for ya bud

[@robinpotter963]

KUZER2 The kids are walking out of school 4/24- they were planning on 4/20 until right wing people said they were glorifying cannabis. Good Lord, what a mess.

[@UliaAB]

There's one obvious solution - put the Republicans in the minority for at least a couple of cycles. It would require us to actually vote, starting in November of this year. Their party's ideology is the tumor at the center of most of America's problems right now. It's not even about supporting the Democrats at this point, it's about ending the GOP.

[@dontbother9473]

UliaAB I’ve never seen a comment so stupid in my life. My god, where do I start. THE DEMOCRATS REFUSE TO FIND ANY SORT OF COMPROMISE.

[@simmzzzz]

Traitor-Trump for Prison!

[@Jack-rw8ee]

Sim z u heard of this bitch called Hillary Clinton, give her the cell she has killed more people than all school shooters put together

[@AxelSituation]

This is the same man who would not fight in Vietnam due to bone spurs. Now at 70 he would run into a building with no weapon towards a killer??

[@caulifla222]

AxelSituation donnie “bone spurs” trump is the bravest man with the the littlest hands.

[@jodihargreaves3784]

AxelSituation oh come in, he has a natural talent - hitting golf balls 😂😂😂😂

[@MauroTamm]

Well, being a president, hes got a team of armed guards with him.

[@buch1224]

AxelSituation his dementia is more advanced than i thought

[@wickednwyld]

Jodi Hargreaves - OK, am I the only one who now wants to draw Donnie Tiny Hands running into a locked down school with a 9 iron?

[@dsho1199]

How do you guys do it!? I couldn't survive living in America under Trump. Good luck and God speed to Mueller

[@caulifla222]

Its horrible dude. Conservatives are so fucking regressive and idiotic in the US. Its unfuckingbelievable. They are always the barriers we have to progress. They are the party known for blocking ideas, not creating.

[@shaneryan6691]

Poor America you are dogshit

[@MauroTamm]

They now have weed.

[@Raincentral003]

+Caulifla Its not conservatives that is the problem, they may hold congress but they're not the majority of Americans. This country is fucked because we love iphones more then voting.

[@ghostwriterscorner502]

Fuck it man, you're so right. I'm moving to Canada.

[@rysun8709]

Trump alter ego : Orange Panther - king of wakookoo

[@queenoftheharpies8018]

Ry Sun 😂😂😂

[@thomasthomaslai]

damn.!

[@larryscarr1929]

Orange pet her...small correction.

[@shahidabegum4195]

Lmao

[@Andyrodney12]

It’s a shithole.

[@jeffreyspence7717]

Teachers need to learn how to teach first.

[@ladyhawke1020000]

Maybe the government should let them!

[@chuckmielke2736]

You've obviously never been a teacher.

[@tabathaodom9325]

It's painfully obvious that you are not a teacher nor is anyone close to you a teacher.

[@Kibatsume1]

And parents need to learn to teach their kids at home some respect. Thanks to the government teachers hands are tied students goofing off in class instead of actually sitting down and paying attention telling their teacher f... off .

[@neeneba4903]

It's hard to teach. Teachers have to deal with all kinds of students who goof off all of the time. So you can't ask the teachers to learn how to teach when you probably don't know how to teach.

[@squegebol9016]

Imagine the substitute having enough and just pulling out a gun

[@singawaydarling]

".....and then the sun comes up." 😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭

[@ronoccc]

Giana Falacco Trump's big orange head

[@themripley]

"Then the sun comes up..." 😂

[@nicolasmendez3332]

Pasen por mi canal 😊😂😂

[@nicolasmendez3332]

Weedal Alarm hahaha I thought that nobody would respond 😂😂

[@leithjobran]

I hope everyone who sees this comment supports me and shares my thanks😘😘😘

[@nicolasmendez3332]

Leith G four I hope so

[@nicolasmendez3332]

Leith G four ❤️❤️

[@kirkjohnson717]

4:17 He had a "Mars-a-Lago" joke sitting right in front of him and he didn't take it

[@Zeuts85]

If you don't like Stephen making fun of our man-baby president then maybe you should write Trump a letter and beg him to stop making it so easy.

[@cerebrumexcrement]

Matthew Doan 😆😆😆😆😆😆👌🏼

[@amandajay666]

Matthew Doan you are a legend!

[@ballsmcgee7765]

Matthew Doan whatever dungeon master basement dweller I think your mom's calling you

[@astronautical9087]

Mr Budweiser .....r u a trump supporter

[@astronautical9087]

Balls Mcgee u mad or nah

[@MythicTyrant]

Of course! I've been saying for YEARS that movies need a rating system! XD

[@annnee6818]

MythicTyrant I know right?!! People don't know this, but kids can watch even R rated movies these days... wait a minute...😂😂😂

[@CourtneyJones1979bird]

MythicTyrant doesn't he just have the best brain 👺💨

[@WadeMcLure]

He has the bigliest and best brain of anyone who ever had a brain.

[@governorvilla9052]

Republicans only elect the best a brightest. Like Trump , Palin and Bush 😬

[@EugeneAxe]

Trump's so far gone, he doesn't even know which century he's in.

[@tiny99990]

ugh, when he said we should have a rating system for movies and T.V. I literally took of my glasses and had to rub my temples to try and stop the screaming migraine that just keeps repeating "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!"

[@GrubbySalad]

tiny99990 yea, colbert gets to me sometimes like that as well.

[@nfzeta128]

He basically proved the point people are making about gun control. Guns barely have a tiered system like the entertainment rating system.

[@Raxilla]

My response was more of a *pauses phone. Calmly puts it down. Exclaims: "How?! How?! How is he President?!"

[@Emo_Squirtle]

I literally screamed “WHAT? WHAT?! EXCUSE YOU!?!”

[@fontunetheteller410]

Colbert needs to like, die

[@Vancev99x]

Soooo our current Commander & Chief has Alzheimer's disease... Great....

[@hexagonbright3155]

Vance Toney When the Slaves were Freed Democrats didn't want them to own Guns so the Democratic KKK can Bully them to Vote Democrat & This is what Cobert wants to do to all Americans take their Guns but Cops, Military & People like Cobert will still have Armed Security, any Black person who votes Democrat is a Trader to their Race.

[@TBat87]

+Hexagon Bright You realize that the Democratic and Republican parties switched platforms after the civil war, right? When you talk about what the Democratic party did during the 1860s, you're really talking about the republican party of today. www.livescience.com/34241-democratic-republican-parties-switch-platforms.html

[@francisindinibotwey840]

Yeah maybe not great but I feel that’s better

[@Matt92Machine]

He worked in the entertainment business. You’d think he’d know that movies had a ratings system. This just shows how stupid he really is. Even things that he should know based on his prior job experience, he knows absolutely nothing about. This is the guy that almost half of the country voted for.

[@sidilicious11]

Trump is a comedy writer's dream come true.

[@noahquick26]

Sidilicious without trump all these idiots and new outlets would be out of business and back to ratings lower then Cartoon Network.

[@sidilicious11]

Noah quick, I'm all for trying "without Trump" and having a sensible, Intelligent caring, positive, inclusive president instead.

[@bigballzs]

Noah quick absolutely. Colbert career has been over. All he has is Trump. Guess Colbert has another 7 years of show business

[@winfred36078]

lmao he is the comedy all they have to do is say what he says

[@goggleboy6365]

Sidilicious he's beautiful

[@MrBeatboxmasta]

Only the people who voted for Trump, would believe that a draft dodger would all of a sudden, muster the courage to run towards gun fire.

[@UliaAB]

They want to live under an authoritarian regime. It's probably scary to have to manage a life of freedom and equality when you're an imbecile. They are willing to believe their chunky, below average intelligence, and by all indications cowardly leader is a super hero if it gets them where they want to go.

[@coachchris548]

MrBeatboxmasta the demoncrats have colluded in the murder of babies in the womb and if you vote for any demoncrats or liberals you also have colluded in the murder of babies in the womb.

[@nunyabidnss9094]

MrBeatboxmasta idiot

[@nonenope886]

MrBeatboxmasta it was the Vietnam war if you could dodge the draft then good for you

[@rubdulbah3201]

Then I guess the republicans have colluded with the NRA on the murder of Children outside of the womb, the incitement of hate groups that are attempting the murder minorities, and the defamation of and stripping down of civil liberties of immigrants. I guess to be safe you just shouldn't vote then now should you?

[@i-work-at-enron]

"Space Mar a lago...Space a lago" MARS-A-LAGO. STEPHEN, IT WAS RIGHT THERE.

[@bob2shred894]

Please Donald , you run toward the bullets and be a hero

[@daram.9565]

Robert cargill he was saying that to show he feels for them sadly idiots like you do not understand

[@genericname9994]

Cry0n wow, The irony is strong.

[@genericname9994]

lovemoviesful2 You people will attack him for any reason possible. Shut the fuck up you fool.

[@retnavybrat]

+i have a phobia ... You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand why Trump keeps saying things, then needing them "interpreted" the next day. If he meant to express some sort of condolences (as you're claiming), then that's what he should've done. Not shoot his mouth off claiming he would've run into the school like a wanna be Superman.

[@daram.9565]

Cry0n what stupid shit? I watch the real news unlike you. And i can actually think for myself and know what type of news is completely biased like when clintons emails were found (shit NN) was trying to cover it up. And unlike you i know the things she has done and its ignorant people like you that she is targeting so keep being ignorant the more ignorant you are the more smarter republicans look.

[@caulifla222]

The only thing Trump is running into is a McDonalds

[@alberttyong]

He's trying to save the Kernel. Think of the chicken! D:

[@wickednwyld]

Caulifla - If only said McDonalds had been in San Ysidro on July 18tth 1984...

[@cheri7054]

This proves he's lying once again. If he cares so much for human kind then stop cutting fiunds to schools and other organizations to the poor and middle class.

[@theempires5]

... or a KFC

[@uniwasamistake6334]

... or a beauty pageant backstage changing room

[@Lugmillord]

It requires a talent to shoot a gun? Then why can everyone buy them? Sounds very contradictory.

[@jeannettetownley2953]

Lol then the sun comes up and boom there it is again

[@djmartens123]

Seriously... Someone please let off some firecrackers near him one day while cameras are there.

[@paulinelarson465]

Nay Chiv Somebody tryed to rush him, on stage, during the campaign. Reacted to that - sort of. But fireworks would have been way better. I predict it will happen very soon.

[@genghiskhan9269]

OZGlitch the Cowardly ORANGUTAN

[@evonwilliams7502]

OZGlitch good one I was thinking the same thing

[@kienspicer4476]

Google Trump vs Eagle he showed real guts

[@Nobody-iq1by]

OZGlitch good luck secret service might freak the fuck out You would sure go to federal or get put in a army prison somewhere in the middle of buttfuck Egypt

[@pack-a-punched2404]

I facepalmed so hard

[@UTU49]

Are you okay?

[@elcesar]

Horizontal Tendencies x2

[@tigerroselili5765]

Horizontal Tendencies literally

[@momiaw]

Horizontal Tendencies I have run out of palms since day one!

[@jawasstolemydroid4930]

Yeah, my face hurts and my nose is bleeding. All the facepalming during this presidency might just kill me.

[@XxS1N1ST3RxX323]

If you can dodge a draft you can dodge a bullet

[@NONPOINT420]

He can't throw *daddy's money* at cancer and make it better. Just as the moron can't throw *daddy's money* at bullets in order to dodge them!

[@clevernamegotban1752]

There’s no human being on the planet either now or ever before or ever in the future that can be fastest enough to dodge bullets

[@bronzenrule]

XxS1N1ST3RxX323 Kudos for referencing the movie 'DodgeBall'. ^^

[@NoBody-tz4fb]

Funny, the entire military and veteran population voted for him. Go figure.

[@chillin4vl6]

XxS1N1ST3RxX323 Badum tss sss (x2)

[@w.a.6742]

The trump impression 👌🏻

[@LT_Clara]

honestly hate this colbert cunt but i have to agree with you, it was amazing

[@Dreams.ofAnAbsolution]

If only they had orange hand emojis…

[@LisaAnn164]

Music Lover Priceless!😀😀😀

[@方韫韬]

By the end of trump’s presidency, I feel like Stephen will act like trump fluently. And if there’s gonna be a film about trump, Stephen will kill at the leading role.

[@NewMessage]

Remember when the guy passed behind him at the campaign ralley in Dayton Ohio on March 12th 2016 ? He all but shit himself on stage.

[@000-p4d]

Yup! We all know Donald J Trump is a fucking coward, just like every other bully in this world.

[@macys421297]

New Message He looked like a scared hare but his fat ass wouldn't allow him to run.

[@marvinmckinley6220]

New Message. Just like he ran from the military. He has the nerve to condemn those police

[@steh8831]

You're on fire today, Mr Message. :)

[@marvinmckinley6220]

New Message I guess his bone spurs have healed by now

[@81licker]

He's hilarious. A good hearty laugh is what we need!

[@toadjiang7626]

I bet Trump could have single handedly defeated the VietCong and won the war if it were not for his bone spurs.

[@CatsMeowPaw]

War is all about sending other people's children to die for your cause. Always has been, always will be. Are any of Trump's many children going to Afghanistan, Iraq, or going to fight ISIS? Don't be ridiculous. That's for other people to do and Trump to take the credit for.

[@jodihargreaves3784]

Toad Jiang snap! 😂😂😂

[@rickynotricardo6328]

And don’t forget about his little hands.

[@wickednwyld]

RickynotRicardo - That's why he would run into the school unarmed, his little fingers can't reach the trigger.

[@327JohnnySS]

Obama neva served his country either so what is your point?

[@chuckhackett4493]

Trump: I would just run in there Me: I would love to see you try

[@tiredoffools8929]

Trump Run?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 That Draft Dodger? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@gwen3010]

Donald Trump Gets Scared at Rally, Secret Service Rescue Him

[@adamadams634]

EXACTLY!!!

[@annnee6818]

Tired of Fools He would walk away as fast as he could and hide behind a taco bowl. #privatebonespurs

[@allenfackler]

Where did you serve again? Oh yeah, i forgot, soy boys don't serve.

[@abrahamrivera6298]

Tired of Fools Hope u can call Bernie Sanders and Bill Clinton draft dodgers too

[@chrisose]

Trump is clueless but not as clueless as those who support him.

[@L8rCloud]

Maybe he's as good at dodging bullets as he is at dodging drafts

[@merchillio]

Sma 556 Could you please post the same shit to at least 50 other comments, just in case?

[@Jhon-md5ci]

Jean-Dominic Lapointe exactly I saw his same comment in some other people comments its like that's all he can say.

[@jeckjeck3119]

PHANTOM REAPER Bot/troll, obviously.

[@Jhon-md5ci]

jeck jeck tell me why

[@Jhon-md5ci]

Wat_ Ver tell me why

[@catladymb1864]

He doesn't even run into McDonalds to get his own cheeseburger.

[@jhoxihum3230]

If you had $9 billion, would you?

[@catladymb1864]

Jhoxi Hum He doesn't have that much money. lol ! The point is he can't run.

[@jhoxihum3230]

That's what Trump, said 9 billion...fair enough....let's change it to what Forbes says: If you had $3.1 billion, would you? Point is, he doesn't have to run. Duuuhh....

[@catladymb1864]

Jhoxi Hum Let him show his tax returns! He could have 0. And the point is, he can't run.

[@jhoxihum3230]

Ah, the 'ol trusty "could have" argument. Bravo. And your point is.....nothing.

[@D1it4FN]

A hallmark characteristic of the bully is their pathological impulse to brag about their courage. The fact is they are often quite cowardly. This is the American president. Bully cowards do not measure up to the standards of honor which are central to the true heroic. The bragging is a dead give away. Honest people who have failed to answer the call when needed, and this might be true of the LE officers who were unable to muster the courage to enter the school during the killing, will forever live with the shame of failing to respond to the greatest test of their calling.

[@whincorbin1553]

lol you think they care ? he's making excuses for why he was a pussy trump definitely has more balls than that !

[@D1it4FN]

I wouldn't suggest that trump was lying when he said he'd go into the building. I'd just be willing to bet the farm he wouldn't go in while a lunatic with a machine gun was mowing down unarmed civilians.

[@boblawblawblaw]

medicatedification There was a New York Daily News article where Trump ran into a building where gunfire was going on?

[@albertmaldonado8443]

You mean the same movie rating system we've had since 1969!? Lol

[@iMaDeMoN2012]

*President Leeroy "Trump" Jenkins!!!*

[@mrb8094]

iMaDeMoN2012 - This is fucking hilarious. Thank you.

[@Eisdax]

Aw. It's been a while since I saw Majora's Mask as a profile pic on here. ^^

[@antarath517]

He's gonna get a 50 DKP minus for running into the whelps.

[@theGhoulman]

@iMaDeMoN2012 - Hahaaahaaaa!!! As a World of Warcraft player, you made my day. So apt! And for those who don't know; the reference of 'Leeroy Jenkins' refers to a person who runs into a dangerous situation and everyone dies. kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y4mwn3WOpJaHnNE

[@Eisdax]

i9Rules well I can't really argue with that since I love it as well. The game is really good and even more so when you read the Manga to it. But I have to admit, I really really love the story from BotW. ^^

[@TheBlarggle]

Come on? "Space Mar-a-lago, Space-a-lago" This joke writes itself... How about "Mars-A-Lago"? I'm available for work.

[@MishyMoshy76]

He won’t even hold an umbrella for his family LOLOL 👌

[@davidhudgins21voodoo13]

lol

[@baneoftheundead8064]

dailycaller.com/2018/02/27/flashback-trump-mugger/

[@REALYAADYEXTREME]

The Punisher you should be telling trump to put away his kfc bucket

[@REALYAADYEXTREME]

The Punisher naah Popeyes is better

[@Peanut_Butter_Coalition]

Lmao

[@kamdaddypurp3341]

No there is a difference yes everyone can shoot a gun but not everyone can shoot a person

[@leithjobran]

kamdaddypurp I hope everyone who sees this comment supports me and shares my thanks😘😘😘

[@thesnivyproductions119]

stormtroopers are a perfect example

[@mormaloid8603]

WRONG. Anyone can shoot a gun and anyone can shoot a person, but not everyone WILL shoot a person.

[@nicholasbarchak6860]

I surely would. Some people think they have a right to whatever they want.THEY DON'T, and stopping them is at their risk. Get it?

[@kamdaddypurp3341]

Kronik legend I said not everyone can idiot and of course anyone can shoot someone but will they you knew what I meant and you look dumb

[@Michael500ca]

"maybe we have to put a rating system on that" Holy shit! LOL! Please tell me why is he the president of the USA again? I really don't get it.

[@attackhelicopter]

Michael500ca That's how much Clinton was hated.

[@jaggerbaird3556]

Because he is good

[@visakhans]

attackhelicopter did you check the crowd size & the popular vote btw.... Mwahahaha

[@jaggerbaird3556]

lol not russian or a bot

[@crystophelia1268]

Michael500ca Would you rather have Hillary?

[@PWY5730]

Trump going into the school to face the shooter Me: "Let them FIGHT"

[@cortez_d3352]

"There's a lot in there that I doubt" LOL

[@aprajitakesar]

This country is doomed . DOOMED!

[@austinbond6843]

stephen you missed such an opportunity to say "Mars-a-lago"

[@tismoser3055]

LOL...a just GOTTA love Stephen Colbert..so cathartic during these times of utter absurdities 😄!

[@tismoser3055]

*ya just gotta...

[@davidleedutton]

A ratings system for movies? What a brilliant idea! He's a fucking genius! What will he come up with next, popcorn as a cinema snack? Or maybe talking pictures?

[@robertedwards3980]

The man's ego and narcissism holds no bounds. I'm truly impressed. --Vladimir Putin

[@Jerricola2]

Its so fun to play pretend, and be the big hero in your fantasy land. Why stop there? Next time on Trumpland, Trump defeats the evil space realtor Freezor with his friends pickle, killbill, and veegee. Best hero, beat him in one punch, he's just a hero for fun.

[@dwarfie24]

Jerricola but not bald 😅 altough just sensitive about.

[@dragon53777]

HAHAA You should be a writer on uhhh hmmm. I don't know, you are too hilarious for anything.

[@kimjongfun5427]

You know in North Korea's middle school history textbooks, there is a story about how Kim Jong un's grandfather Kim Il-sung shot down an American fighter plane with one single bullet from a pistol. And there's another story about how Kim Il-sung and his wife took on over 1000 American soldiers and killed them all. I expect to see the same kind of BS about Trump in American textbooks soon.

[@conspiracyspider]

But what about his laser beam eyes?

[@gentboy515]

Robert Waxman 《===I found one! I found one! Someone who has hit the IQ jackpot 😂

[@tomfranck8821]

So critizing a president on a satire/comedy/semi news show for saying stupid things is bullying nowadays?

[@54March]

yes it is.

[@rebikhalifa8375]

GRANDebbie youre an idiot

[@54March]

Well, that is quite a statement since you don't know anything about me. So, having an opinion that is different than your makes me an idiot? Really?

[@tomfranck8821]

Ehm, i thought you were being sarcastic. Am i wrong cause, that's not easy to see in a typed message if it is.

[@Olyvia..]

GRANDebbie well you‘re right, he can’t defend himself. It‘s not ethically okay.

[@ctcs9162]

How can you stop a gunman with baby hands?

[@boarderboi7]

An AP chemistry teacher with extensive weapons experience? Does Donald Trump want to hire Breaking Bad's Walter White...? 🤔😂

[@boarderboi7]

Balls Mcgee ...Awe such a cute little troll! 😂. Hey McGee, I've got some ⚾🏀's for you...😏😂😂😂😂😂 ✌️☮️

[@RifleDeadeye]

Matthew Smith You raise an excellent argument. However, I will respectfully ask you this: would you believe those teachers would have shot their own students, who they have made connections with, without freezing for even a second even if they had a gun and shot up the place? While they may be able to take down a threat, it would involve potentially killing a kid they have taught and loved. This is why it shouldn’t be their job, they should not have to shoulder that burden.

[@driftwisp2797]

@Matthew Smith Just because we don't agree on how to help doesn't mean we don't want to help. When you look at the problem you probably see it as "The bad guys are strong, so we need to be stronger. If they have guns, we need bigger guns". And that makes sense, from a certain point of view. But the way I see it is closer to a fire. If you're worried about your house catching fire, you try to limit and control fire sources and flammable material as much as possible. You don't start stocking up on gasoline so that if it does catch fire you can light a bigger fire. Even if you can light a way bigger fire use it to put the first fire out by burning up its fuel.. That fuel you burned was your house, so you've still lost. There's no way I can convince you that you're looking at it wrong, or that you can convince me I am. That's just the nature of talking over the internet. But please at least believe me that I want everyone to be safe, and most people in favor of gun control do too. We just don't see things in the same terms that you do.

[@mp5249]

Teachers are hired for their coaching abilities every day. Often the hire is based mostly on coaching ability. Skills besides teaching are almost always necessary.

[@driftwisp2797]

@Matthew Smith I'm sorry you feel that way. I could try to make you understand where I'm coming from.. But since you're calling me sick and disgusting without even bothering to ask anything about me (For example, do I support armed guards for anyone? There's no way for you to know, since I didn't say anything about it and you didn't ask, but you're saying I do anyway.) it would probably be a waste of time.

[@winiolivache1774]

I see the president is now doing stand up comedy.

[@nobodyspecial9738]

It would be a relief from Colbert's shit show.

[@monde1208]

should join Hannity when he resigns ...dumb and dumber

[@tvmonte]

Yeah!

[@elhadjiamadoujohnson4166]

Nobody Special do no fucking watch!!!

[@AnthonyDoesYouTube]

Elhadji Amadou Johnson don't lie boi you know if Trump dropped that Netflix comedy special that shit would be hot 🔥

[@DIESEL0759]

I agree with President Trump! We NEED movie ratings. I picture something like, say..."G" for a General Audience, and maybe "PG" for movies where parental guidance is suggested. Maybe like "R" for movies that would be restricted to certain ages. This is why Trump is a business genius. It's these ideas that just come to him, and he makes millions from them, because of his brilliance. After all, he is a very successful businessman who became a highly rated television star and won the presidency on his first try. A very stable genius.

[@a1969scorpio]

The jokes write themselves.

[@tomasviane3844]

Hahaha!

[@soundslikeskrillex9799]

artie lusk At Trump? That’s certainly true, salty bot.

[@xionpentagast]

The solution is to add more guns plus machine gun turrets in schools, add a moat surrounded by alligators packed with rockets n piranhas. Then no one would dare attack the schools.

[@tvmonte]

You know he's being sarcastic, right?

[@ivanlookin7113]

5:42 Oh yeah, there's lots of violence on the internet... I mean, I was on Twitter the other day and I saw the president's tweet about hitting a golf ball into someone... vicious..

[@ilyladygaga727]

dude, you trump impersonation is like so accurate, i think if there was a grammy award for best impersonation of donald trump, it should be you man. rock on...

[@greggeiger7532]

Trump= Cartman from South Park

[@TDTRondas]

Nah Cartman is a smart sociopath, Trump is not smart as far I can see

[@KanalDerGutenSache]

I DO believe Trump. I believe him that he THINKS he invented the fishdicks joke.

[@omellonakamura1573]

Greg Geiger Nah Cartman has been right about 90% of the things he makes up.

[@michaelcoulter1114]

Sma 556 She lost, you know that, right? It's time for Trump fans to stop trying to insert Shillary or Pres. Obama into EVERY conversation. Pres. Obama was President, yes - but he stopped being President over a year ago. Shillary is no longer relevant, because she lost the election. Deal with the person who is President now, the draft dodger who is now trying to present himself as Rambo, saying that he would run into a school with an active shooter inside. The person who has made millions by going to one of his resorts and playing golf over a hundred days in his first year in office, requiring the Secret Service to rent dozens of rooms - to the point where they've blown the entire protection budget, requiring a huge increase of said budget. Can you even imagine the hue and cry coming from Republicans if President Obama had been golfing a tenth as often as President Trump has? Hah! They would have been calling for impeachment! So yeah, stop trying to deflect attention from the present holder of the office of President of the USA by further trying to smear President Obama, or by going after the low-hanging fruit known as Shillary Clinton, okay?

[@judioregan4210]

i94Rules - yup - the ultimate oxymoron.

[@TheRogueWolf]

I honestly believe that Trump would have run into that school. ...after throwing enough students through the door to absorb all of the shooter's ammo.

[@yabutmaybenot.6433]

+The Rogue Wolf That is the most likely scenario. He just left out the part you mentioned to make himself look good. That is the only thing Trump does well, brag about himself.

[@kobejr6462]

😂

[@John_C_J]

Trump already has rhino skin. I'm pretty sure he's some kind of mutant.

[@mosescamacho1245]

The Rogue Wolf at least he would die a hero

[@raymonddav5281]

The Rogue Wolf LMAO!

[@eric123426]

Mighty strong words from a draft dodger, are you sure your bone spurs wouldn't hinder you Donnie?

[@underfound81]

LOOL this is undeniably funny...or maybe it's just because I'm high...

[@michaelleahy123]

Haaaa..same here🎄

[@psyekl]

Imagine the dilemma the Secret Service agents must be having: They must be willing to step in front of a bullet for this man.

[@stanleyluke1149]

I dont understand why Obama would still need protecting either.Im joking with ya psyeki and its easy.

[@psyekl]

(not a democrat)

[@SCRandall]

Trump is a comedy writer's wet dream and an Onion editor's worst nightmare

[@Slalom_Smack]

Stewart Randall lol so true

[@ssantos88]

Stewart Randall And he is starting to turn into the place where comedy dies. He suck so much as a president it not even funny anymore.

[@ssantos88]

daniel jackson Give him time. ;)

[@blackflagsnroses6013]

daniel jackson let’s wait three more years. If an old rich man has helped Americans unequivocally by the end of his term I’ll have more faith in the elites.

[@patriotwarrior2726]

Ruben Avalos STFU BABOSO ESTUPIDO.

[@cementbox4430]

We can still test it if you want.

[@donnavorce8856]

The same thought occurred to me.

[@elpollo8835]

Mr FlameNeverending so what you want is another shooting?

[@sierraevans520]

The Garf no idiot. It's inevitable. It will happen regardless.

[@wraithflaire1639]

Sierra Evans Sadly True

[@noahquick26]

By all means you first.

[@jessicathomas73]

Sarah Huckabee deserves an award for being the person most able to spin shit without cracking a smile or smirk once. How does she honestly believe the crap that comes out of her mouth? How come people have to keep interpreting what he says all the time?

[@JLMac322]

I've had some amazing teachers, but I would not trust any of them with a gun tbh

[@hexagonbright3155]

JLMac322 my Teacher loved me.

[@yellow9349]

JLMac322 I'm a teacher and I don't trust myself with gun..... *maybe a STUNGUN*

[@Albert-xl3nx]

He ain't sayn giving it too teachers

[@hexagonbright3155]

Albert Kocharyan A Teacher & a Coach Died protecting kids but the Cops were Cowards Trump wants to Arm Teachers cause they Bond with students & want to protect them.

[@yellow9349]

Albert Kocharyan are you deaf or maybe can't you deduce what he saying in the fine print. Of course he is advocating for arming teachers!! He made the comment from his very own lips and because it was on tv just like Lester Holts interview he can't go back.

[@toadjiang7626]

Trump is the definition of a "chickenhawk".

[@buffalospringsteen460]

try chicken shit...

[@oscarwilde6649]

DanaVision That, too.

[@rmepd5127]

The ORANGE BLOB to the rescue--he runs out of breath just walking--he'll only run to hide.

[@matteen12]

The shooter was on the 3rd floor. Stairs are Drumpf's kryptonite, he would have dodged left into the cafeteria for a cheeseburger then gone down for his nap.

[@astronautical9087]

Rm EPD lol

[@mh637]

One of my fav points from Stephen Colbert!! ❤️❤️

[@baseballismadness8952]

Space-a-Lago? Should’ve been Mars-a-Lago 😂

[@jeffreylebowski285]

Cadet Bone Spur to the rescue...yeah right. Guy’s a phony...

[@hollygolightly3333]

Parroting them? This is what people with brains are all thinking! We watch smart comedians because they make us feel better during an entire day of hearing what our dumb shit president is doing.

[@LardGreystoke]

Random: ask Vlad for some remedial English. Your Cyrillic is showing.

[@hexagonbright3155]

Jeffrey Lebowski Pathetic ! JFK dodged the Draft & he was Great like Trump but most Soldiers are Republican, Obama, Bill the Rapist, Crooked Hillary ext. never served in Military 😱😂

[@bohemianwriter1]

RandomClam24 Because republican base is full of highly educated independent thinkers with an advanced sense of humor? LOL

[@bohemianwriter1]

Hexagon Bright Funny how you conveniently left out any republican on that list. Any reason for that except for exposing yourself as a biased, partisan hack? So when did you serve in the army? And where's the Purple Heart & Bronze Star of Bush jr. and Donnie Draft Dodger and pussygrabber in chief?

[@kendrickjones3115]

There's actual footage of Trump saying to Soldiers or First Responders, "better YOU than ME"!!! I believe it was after the Hurricanes! Priceless footage at this point.

[@ballsmcgee7765]

Kendrick Jones liar

[@kendrickjones3115]

Balls Mcgee Who? Me ...or TRUMP for telling that GOTDAMN LIE that he would've run in there with OR without a gun! #thatguysaCOWARD!!!

[@josephharding9795]

Jon at the end saying "that boy good" is killing me lmaooo