Trying again for Live Q&A

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5.14: I'm still challenged with donation places but I already know what you'll say.
08.30: I already decluttered out of my gift bag from y in-law's! However, 2 items have gift receipts but I am afraid to upset MIL. Any tips for returning/exchanging conversation with her?
09.35: I have lived in my house 45 yrs. My house isn't very cluttered but my closets are.. I'm lacking motivation to get to them.
13.26: My spouse is stuck on organizing. How to help him with the steps when he wants everything meticulously organized and is paralyzed getting started?
18.27: I'm realizing how many things in my house don't have a home. Can you steer me towards a previous video of yours that addresses this?
22.38: Decluttering kids' room without them. I need them to go through several things, but I don't want piles! One gets overwhelmed if I try to have him help me so I sort it first. Help?
25.28: I want to get my kids cups under control and lessen them but I'm having a really hard time choosing what to get rid of.
28.17: I struggle with getting started, I want to change all the things (paint, furniture) and then don't end up decluttering because it's too much. How do I get through this and just start?
33.59: I'm moving in the next few months and putting my house up sale. Top tips?
37.20: I will be packing and moving soon. Any thoughts on how should I go about it?
37.40: I have lack of strength issues and lots of things to put away. I really want to dive on in... it's like being super excited to do something my body will collapse if I do.
41.12: The process is taking so long it's just defeating. I'm considering putting the stuff in black bin bags and paying someone to take it all away. Is that bad?
42.28: I can't help but feel I'm throwing away something useful. I have scarcity issues, how do I overcome the anxiety that I' doing something wrong.
45.17: So I'm pregnant again and I'll have one room for 3 kids. I need to make things as functional as we can until we can renovate or upgrade our home. I'm struggling with kids clothes.
48.04: My youngest 26, lives with me, we get along great. My issue is, as I clear space and leave it empty while I figure it out what to put there (for weeks sometimes), they put stuff there.
49.49: I feel defeated because I put things in their place and my husband will look for things later and not put things back. He says he doesn't know where they go or he can't organize as good as me.
50.56: How would you let family know to not give things I don't want or need for Christmas?
53.34: How do you know how many minutes to do your daily clean up?
56.44: My husband is so over my mess. I am overwhelmed. Where can I start so he can see that I am actually trying and care about his feelings?
59.12: What if my husband's answer to where would you look for it first is unacceptable to me? Tools in my office, air compressor in dining room etc.
1.00.38: My husband has overloads of clothes and shoes and he just doesn't seem to have the same decluttering mind set as me? How do I get him to be onboard?
1.01.07: I forgot to get my wedding dress cleaned 7 yrs ago and I am not sure if I could still clean it or if I should even even it anymore.
1.04.09: Do you have any suggestions on what to do with the gifts that need to be put together? We have a sutfer swing, 2 pod swings, 2 toy excavators that all need to be put together and the boxes are just sitting.

[@fleabitz1474]

The tidbit that was new gold for me was the idea that if something makes us pause in uncertainty, if we go ahead and keep it, it's possible that the next time around, whenever that may be, it might suddenly be easy to make a decision about that item because of all the progress that took place in between.

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

Usually works that way for me

[@zabmcauley5647]

Yes! It's not a one declutter and done, it's an ongoing process! It's important to discover for ourselves. "I kept this because I thought I would use it. I did not use it" which can lead us to realize we don't need or want it OR that we want to prioritize using or displaying it. When helping people it's important for them to develop and trust themselves and their priorities.

[@reneeprasil6153]

Funny thing I have found out about motivation for me: I get more motivated just by starting. Waiting for that miraculous burst of inspiration/energy just doesn't happen for me. Maybe it is because I am older or maybe it has something to do with the disability, but starting and saying that I only need to do this for five minutes and knowing that I can quit, usually results in me taking breaks when I need to and getting right back to it after I am rested.

[@Denise11Schultz]

When Dana says, “Follow the No Mess Method,” that is 100% true. I have tried every exception, and she was Right, and I was Wrong. •From my experience, every exception I tried was a waste of my time and energy. •Following “Progress and Only Progress” will work Every Time, if I only let it. I printed out Dana’s flow chart, put it in a stand-up acrylic frame, and I just take it from room to room. Hope this helps you too.

[@happyonthehomefront4317]

10 trash bags OUT OF MY HOUSE YESTERDAY!

[@lisakallunki5042]

I decluttered a good size tub of old photos yesterday that I knew were duplicates of what I had already put in scrapbook. I am also at a point where I want to Declutter my paper crafting supplies so I reached out to the activities coordinator for the retirement center where my mom lives and they are happy to take it so I will be getting back to them later this week!

[@barbaramoss6413]

I gave away a large tote of wrapping paper, gift bags, ribbons, etc to a day care associated with my church property. Good for you! Good for us both!

[@andreahazen9013]

Thank you for the great idea!

[@DazzleDust32]

I was a member of a Facebook buy, sell or giveaway group. I got fed up with all the time-wasters and snarky comments, so I contacted the most reliable people, asked if they'd be interested in being part of a smaller group, took their numbers and set up a WhatsApp group. I've passed on so many things to them over the years, including stuff that I would only view as rubbish. Might be worth it for those who dislike the large nature of Facebook groups/temptation to collect more, etc. 😊

[@ameleh61]

I just finished Decluttering at the Speed of Life, as an audiobook, via Libby. The entire process is clear. Finishing all the rooms (except my husband's office) is in sight. I even did the shed. Thank you for being a virtual companion! Listening to your podcast, youtubes, and audiobook while working was very helpful to keep going.

[@traceyhayden8804]

Allowed my husband to donate so many coats and two of them had tags still attached. One said was over $200! I still think about it, but it is gone.. I hope someone was blessed by our purge. So much more to go. #Itisaprocess

[@MegOfBroccoli]

Live and learn. It's brutal to give away some of this shit. But now if you buy another 200$ coat, you'll know it's one you will value because it will have it's own dedicated storage spot and you'll learn to care for your garments since you won't have as many. :)

[@traceyhayden8804]

It was a coat I bought for our son and he outgrew while it was buried in his closet. It didn't cost me $200. I believe I paid around $75. I thought of selling it. It feels good to donate to less fortunate I just wish I didn't like to shop online and score a great deal. NYR - no more impulse buying. Ugh

[@andreahazen9013]

Bless you! I used to be the mom who HAD to buy all her kids’ clothes second hand. You have blessed someone with a warm coat that they needed. Now I am in the position of being able to donate good quality clothing, etc to thrift shops and our local clothing bank. Thank you for overcoming the “I can’t donate this! I paid $ for it!” feeling and giving someone a coat which will be truly valued. You have made someone’s life better

[@noradorris9631]

I really like 1 hr better. It helped me give myself permission to do get trash out of my closet and rearrange the contents. I've moved the things I'm keeping into a more accessible place and moving things I use infrequently, but do use, to a higher shelf. I feel happy because it's one more thing off my to do list.

[@lauriepowell3959]

Dana is coordinating her clothes with the books and frame on shelves behind her. 👍

[@carolinegeer928]

I thought the same thing!

[@lauriepowell3959]

@@carolinegeer928 HEE! HEE!

[@madhumitadevivlogger4781]

Dana's favourite colour is in pastel shades...i really love her...

[@MegOfBroccoli]

Would be nice if she had a better presentation for her videos. The t-shirts and sweatshirts, the wet top ramen hair ... I don't know. How much do you value your audience?

[@lauriepowell3959]

@@MegOfBroccoli She is who she is. She has certainly helped a lot of people deal with clearing their clutter.

[@mnelson2817]

The “take it there now” was a game changer for me! Thank you Dana for sharing your decluttering methods.

[@Kris-pw4gp]

I have had moments when decluttering that I tell myself that I know I will be getting rid of the item, just not this go around. Once I had some books that I initially decided to keep during round #1 - it bothered me so much one night that I got up and just had to get them and put them in my donate box. Sometimes I can just feel that I need to get rid of it (arguing with myself doesn't help...hahaha). Thank you for making decluttering sense! You inspire and encourage me to keep going! ❣❣

[@MegOfBroccoli]

That happened to us. I kept stuff from the first and second "rounds" of decluttering and finally got sick of looking at that shit so I finally decluttered it. Most people will either get sick of wasting their valuable storage space on this stuff or get sick of looking at it, and that will be the end of it for them. LOL. As we started noticing a difference in how our rooms looked (we do pretty brutal minimalism at this point), we couldn't get rid of stuff fast enough. So your attitude can actually change as you start seeing your floors being bare, half empty cabinets and closets, whatever. My rule is no storage area >50-60% full. Otherwise it's too cluttered. Happy New Year!

[@carolinegeer928]

Dana thanks so much for taking the time to motivate us! It's so great to declutter with your voice in the background. It's stunning how it keeps me going!

[@fionaschiffl8065]

I bought DVD/CD plastic sleeves to replace the hard covers of the ones I kept. This got rid of about 1.5m of covers and the collection took up 1/3 of the space. Able to put them into half height boxes facing forward on the book shelves and they’re in alphabetical order and the covers fitted the sleeves. Couldn’t believe the amount of space saved. 😊

[@1HorseOpenSlay]

I'm sitting on 150 years of stuff. Even the old wind up victrola record player that my great great grampa got in the 1800s 😮

[@stempelwerkbysandra8058]

Watching the replay, as I haven‘t time to watch live 🙈 to the person who asked about the gift receipt included: exchange it, but show your MIL what you bought yourself instead. So she know what you‘d like instead. And give wishlist for next year, including some low price items. Just in case, someone want to gift you a little item. Believe me, that makes life so much easier 👍🏻

[@user-xl5hk3te9s]

I am fortunate to have a great household consignment store close by. This year they have sold a number of my things, including some huge format art books that no used book store would take. If items haven't sold in the 120-day timeframe, I can pick them up and donate them; otherwise, they become the property of the store (fair enough). If at some point in the 120-day timeframe I get cold feet and decide to keep an item, I can retrieve it. The catch is I have to find it in the store, a needle-in-the-haystack search!

[@cheerfulmouse]

Oooh! This sounds SO fun 😅😊

[@MegOfBroccoli]

I also donate my garments to a consignment store near me, they are the only ones who take home-sewn garments without tags inside. I tell them what size I am and they put a sticker on it with that size. I use couture techniques on many garments, like hand-sewn zipper insertions, lined pencil skirts and dresses with hem linings, ribbon facings using the Balenciaga technique, whatever. It really elevates garment quality, even if it's something only the wearer can see when they put it on. I take stuff to Goodwill too, but home-sewn garments are likely to be sold for recycling because they can't identify the size. That's okay too. if I donated it, I got what I wanted from it. LOL.

[@loriennyanzi1290]

I finally am decluttering and taking things to Goodwill. I almost bought an organizing rolling bin. Umm not yet. I have a lot more decluttering to do.

[@SassySue67]

For Pray love homeschool, if you’re not sure about keeping your 7 year old wedding dress and whether or not to have it cleaned, you could donate it to Brides Across America, they give them to those in the military or first responders for free.

[@rebeccaofpollywogflatts8976]

Is clothes an issue? I found that I do not need a full load to use the washer. Wash a load every day. Wash, dry, and put away. I just wanted to let you know that it works for us. Dishwasher too

[@carolwhitaker5880]

Nothing like seeing a small little snake heading to your master closet to find the motivation to get busy getting the trash out. Watch out in the Fall when the weather starts changing.

[@MegOfBroccoli]

That's gross.

[@carolgeorge6409]

Listened on Audible. Dana you are changing my life!!!!!♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏

[@bonnieinthespirit6373]

I saved a piece of trash. 3 wrappers . Advertisement on the wrapper. It reminds of MOM. When she rode in my brothers plane one day year(2007). My brother gave us a ride in his plane . It was a great time that one day!! It’s in a wallet of mine. As a reminder of Mom . That 1 day. . Of all my Declutter ing. I saved this. For sure. I miss my mom , & my dad. Today I STRUGGLE. TO LET GO .. my thresholds is I can’t. Handle this stuff. Any longer.

[@flowerpower3618]

If you have a daughter keep your wedding dress. She won’t wear it but will want to see it. My 19 year old Grandaughter texted me last week about mine. She loves wedding gowns and say yes to the dress😂

[@janethunt4037]

Dana, I love that you are not a minimalist. As for wedding dress, I kept mine Just Because. I have room for it. My DIL looked at it and tried it on when she got engaged to my son. We both enjoyed that experience.

[@jodiharris3187]

I put my wedding dress up on the wall of our bedroom as decor. In fact I found a vintage wedding dress, bought it and again put it up on the wall as decor. (I love shabby chic.)

[@kihntagious]

Just bought the decluttering book. Off I go!

[@judylynnturner]

I got it for Christmas and I'm excited! I've been decluttering, but needed some guidance. 😊

[@24carrotgold8]

I decided I would de-clutter while listening. I tackled a huge bin of papers. Trash was easily identifiable as were items to return to their existing homes. I have other bins to go through so I have 4 categories to add to then create homes for them. I suggest you recommend we all declutter while listening. 👍🤗🥳

[@katendress6142]

So did I. Most of my paper could just go through the shredder. Why do I need registration for the car I sold years ago? I don't!

[@pam81161]

I listen to a few of your videos and revisit the 5 steps ones a few times each week to keep me motivated and envision my decluttering sessions as I am hoping to manifest those visions into reality. It helps a lot because I am a planner and list maker, and unfortunately, a procrastinator. Your videos give me that boost that I need to get started. Works every time!

[@mheninger99]

I listened to Decluttering at the Speed of Life, but didnt get any decluttering done while doing it! I just sat at listened to it, tried to take notes LOL and work through my hangups about it :( hoping i will re read/listen to it this year and make progress! I would need about an hour or so just to focus on our kitchen and pantry!!

[@Random_Mom]

It sounds as if you have the idea you should be decluttering and listening to the audiobook at the same time. I love to listen to Dana and other minimalists when I am doing housekeeping work, but I always need silence when I am decluttering.

[@susanprice3377]

I listen to the audiobook while driving, to remind myself of the how. I've listened at least 4 times now 😅 and each time helps!

[@ameleh61]

How to find a place for everything is exactly how I found you in the first place. That video contained the key to my understanding why this process rocks.

[@carolgeorge6409]

Just finished listening to “Decluttering At The Spend of Life” Thank you Dana

[@user-qw6vr5su9t]

I didn't get motivated until after 1100....put some items away and have half a bag of trash.

[@cheerfulmouse]

We used the vacant neighbors house that still has trash service, to put an extra bag in over Christmas. Totally worth it to deal with it now, rather than haul, or manage over the next few weeks

[@sandracohen5693]

Great idea. I had two boxes of really expensive vacumn cleaner bags that i kept after the vacuum died (bought a lighter, better, chair one❤). But really wanted to find someone who could use the filters. Buy nothing was great for that because i needed to teach a lot of people. She was grateful because a relative had given her the machine that used such extensive supplies, so i was happy to help her. You needed a large pool of people to find a needle in a haystack. But in general there are too many no shows for me to use my buy buying group. While it depends on the item, i give things to staff in my apt building, or the staff in the garage, who know neighbors or church congregations who can match item to recipient. I don't need the tax deduction from Goodwill.

[@sandracohen5693]

I also have great joy giving to the nyc family shelter for migrants a block away. My storage unit is closed this week and the weather is unseasonably warm now, but next week i am going to take all the warm winter coats and jackets i have stored directly to a shelter

[@annepinkney6921]

Just thinking, if we remove the trash ahead of our kids helping, yes, it will reduce what’s left so may not seem as overwhelming, however, the flip side is that the easy stuff is no longer there for them to start developing their decluttering muscles on 🤔

[@susanprice3377]

You can always try both ways and see which works better -- and different kids might have different "best ways"!

[@MegOfBroccoli]

Most kids have plenty of shit to "muscle" their "skills." USian kids are drowning in toys and stuff.

[@SF-ru3lp]

Amanda C's question is a great obd and your answer, Dana, is excellent. G Ire

[@kihntagious]

I missed this!! I would love to have asked you questions. My situation is unique in that nothing in my apartment is familiar. I had none of this a year ago. Making decisions is so hard.

[@cheerfulmouse]

Start with trash and anything you clearly haven't or wouldn't use/go looking for. I clean houses as my job. Every. Single. House. Is essentially the. Same. Spaces have to function and people have to have space & some things so they can function well ❤️‍🩹

[@debrabowie5141]

You are there on youtube!:

[@bethreisman8869]

Dana is a genius! I’ve posted this before about a year ago. Still true. ❤

[@TheWigleFamily]

I love your live Q&As and often want to share them with a couple of friends, but they are blind and can't read the questions/comments that are on the screen. would you please try to read what you're seeing on your screen for those who can't?

[@andreahazen9013]

I listen rather than watch. This would be helpful for me too. As a teacher, I know that it is usually best to restate a question before you answer it.

[@2083mjt]

??? We moved to a new state and let go of probably 80% of our things. My question is, our temp home is a very small condo. I am having trouble finding space for what we still have. We do have a storage unit that we use for keeping things like Christmas items, luggage. My question is, do I pack more and store there to allow our current home breathing room u til we purchase a larger home? I’m at a loss and overwhelmed.

[@scara1859]

You should not have a storage place for long. Your things will eventually smell and mice and bugs get in. Put the Xmas boxes in your condo by putting a board on top and tablecloth for a “sideboard”. You can store out of season clothes in suitcases and stack or put behind a screen. Get those space bags and put things under bed or closet. Sell what you can to buy future items for your new home.

[@pam81161]

I had the same thought as you and ended up adding stuff to the storage unit and keeping it for 15 years. I should have bought a house with a basement and paid 1/3 of a mortgage payment with the money I have spent in storage unit rental costs. Hindsight is 20/20, so they say.

[@maryannpapandrea3086]

If someone asks where is there gift (almost never)-I say it broke when I was cleaning it or I put it away to save for later.

[@dreamervanroom]

Re Wedding dress: the cleaners will need to see the spot. I thin there is hope. Cleaners will keep the wedding dress for you. They do that with winter coats, especially furs, back east. Then you evaluate the price and the value of the protection. The cleaning may cover the storage.

[@user-pl8pq2xe4u]

If she included a gift receipt, go for it!!!

[@NancyThecheerfulheart]

Please do a video on what the daily things are, like you say dishes and laundry. What are all the daily things???

[@trainerbeckyreid]

1. Do the dishes 2. Five minute pickup (3. Sweep the floor was included in an earlier book.) That’s it. And if you don’t have time for all three, do the dishes

[@barbarahaberman349]

Your dry cleaner will charge well over $150.00 to clean and box up your dress. And your daughter will never want to wear it. She will be horrified by the suggestion.

[@sandrasieber5157]

I wore my moms wedding dress at my wedding in august two years ago. She didn’t suggest it for me -in fact I had already bought my wedding dress, but I wanted to try it! And i got lucky because it was timeless and classic and it fit like a glove. I ended up wearing it for our wedding ceremony and my dress for the reception. Got so many compliments on that dress. You just never know!! ❤

[@salishheights2320]

You absolutely stand a chance of being spot on. But I sure wish I'd had a chance to wear my mom's dress, had it been gorgeous and timeless, but it was rented and... not my style Which is definitely your point. 😅 But I do wish I'd had a choice to use her (also rented) veil or something!

[@retroactivebudgeting7256]

Sure there are people who do want to wear the dress, but your comment is generally correct. I've never been to a wedding where the bride wore an 80s dress.

[@diahi7601]

I have seen some daughters use original mother's dress and just had a seamstress change it up a bit.

[@loriennyanzi1290]

I post in my neighborhood facebook page. Stuff on my curb. The same person always picks up my stuff. Lol

[@leonahall4157]

Hello . I can see you on you tube

[@1othrocks]

Hi Dana I've been watching you for awhile and I have a question what if I know I want to keep this item but right now it doesn't have an established home it's in a drawer with other random stuff where do I keep it until then? Thanks 😀

[@Cecily-Pimprenelle]

You keep it in the first place where you’d look for it if you needed it. If that’s the drawer, then the drawer is its home. If you’d instinctively check some other place before checking the drawer - then THAT is its home. :-)

[@cheerfulmouse]

You could also decide that when you realize it's in the place you'd look first , and that place is overwhelming, or overflowing, or not get-to-able... You take 1 (or multiple) thing/s from that space to trash/an already established home/donation. So either way, SOMETHING is leaving each overwhelming space

[@teresatansey2674]

Tried to explain process to husband. He had an object on coffee table. I told him if he was going to look for this object where would he look first. He said right there on coffee table. 😂😂 I guess I started wrong. Lol

[@MegOfBroccoli]

That's so sad. It makes me feel bad that couples can't get on the same page on this shit. But the only reason my husband was on board with brutal minimalism was because he was never really "attached" to things. He didn't care what I got rid of. Our most valued possessions are our books, and we have built-in bookshelves so it's not like they take up "extra" space. He's a published author and we both read a TON. But I could pretty much get rid of almost anything else of his. LOL. I put him on a "capsule" wardrobe without any complaints at all.

[@stephaniec.5851]

I can totally relate. When my Dad answered that a few months ago, I was speechless. Now I tell my kids, "if you can't find your Flummi (bouncy ball) here on the dining room table, because this is the dining room table and not where we keep Flummis, where would you look for it first?" They always look slightly irritated, but give me an answer 😀

[@adventureswithfrickandfrack]

Do I have to enroll in Take Back in order to participate in the all day declutter?

[@laurehancock1334]

Yes. It’s a great course. I just renewed for $10 for the 2nd time.

[@laurehancock1334]

I mean the renewal is $10.

[@adventureswithfrickandfrack]

But the course is $94

[@grutarg2938]

Well, yes, if you want to see the videos. But you could also just take the day to declutter, if it's enough for you to know that everyone else is doing the same that day.

[@Jane_Moss]

@@laurehancock1334hi there! In your opinion is it worth it for someone who doesn’t use Facebook? I’m torn !

[@cathyrowe594]

I know I'm too late for the live, but I still have a question that's never been addressed. I live in a single wide mobile home (so no garage or even carport) and our tiny town's donation centers are only open a couple 1/2 days a week. How in the world do I get rid of stuff, without making piles in my house of items that need to go, since hauling off is so limited & no room to keep it? Oh, and since I live just outside the city limits, there's also no trash service for me to just trash those still usable but unwanted items. It sure feels like a no win situation to me!

[@Smithpolly]

Do you have a lot of stuff to donate?

[@grutarg2938]

It's not easy for your situation, but it's not impossible, and it will be so worth it to get that stuff out of your space. You could start by calling the donation center - make sure you know what they will take and what they don't take and confirm their hours for the next day they are open. Ask if they do pick-ups (some places do, so it's worth asking). If they don't do pickups, and if you need to get time off work for the donation drop-off day, talk to your coworkers and see if someone can swap shifts with you. If you have a car, load up the trunk. If you don't have a car, ask a friend, family or neighbor with a car to help. They might be able to take you to the trash drop-off at the same time. Load up the car and go! You can do this.

[@cheerfulmouse]

Ask a friend/neighbor/co-worker. Dana mentions that this time of year, people are already getting rid of things. Maybe there's a group, or a church that can help with a sale/free exchange coming up. You could sit on the corner with a free sign on the highway. Ask a nursing home or shelter, even elementary school. If there's trash, take a small bag to the gas station every time you get gas. You might have to end up paying for a trash haul off if you have a lot. But you can really reduce the amount, if you keep at the easy stuff 🙏💜

[@pam81161]

I agree. When my car starts getting trash piling up in it, I get a plastic grocery bag (I still have a few), fill it up, and dump it in the community trash bin outside my work.