Tumultuous Teens // Season 3 Episode 10 | Honest Tea Talk

Raising a teen is challenging. But being a teen is also challenging.
In this episode of Honest Tea Talk, we discuss the testing task of helping teens in navigating this world, while being mindful of the hereafter. Approaching this responsibility will look different for every parent, as every child is unique in their identity and circumstances.
We pinpoint the obstacles that confront parents and teens, specifically in the west, and offer practical advice on creating safe spaces where children feel supported and understood, a space where they feel empowered to make healthy, productive decisions that are pleasing to a Lord that loves them.
Watch the episode and tell us, what advice stood out to you most, and what advice would you like to offer to other parents?
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About Honest Tea Talk
with Aliyah, LaYinka & Sumayah
Inspired by Jada Pinkett-Smith's 'Red Table Talk', 3 Muslim women have set up a platform to speak openly and honestly, giving viewers an unedited insight into the minds and life of Muslim women. Honest Tea Talk brings deep and often unspoken topics to the table to lay down our masks and start much-needed discussions about matters related to Muslim women and the ummah at large.
© 2021
#honestteatalk #realtalk #raisingteens

[@MS-xc1bz]

Me watching this as teen and trying to understand my parents' perspective

[@fantadrame2481]

As a teen your advices really touched my heart. I'd really love to have that kind of relationship with my parents 💕. May Allah protect your families and grant you the highest degree of Jannah

[@khaireenbat]

Ameen

[@yaseensinsights]

Establishing a relationship with your children such that they can tell you anything is so important in this day & age. It requires parents to come to the level of the teen, understand their struggles & communicate to them in a way that they would understand.

[@duskydamsel672]

Hi yaseen qud lyk to meet u.Ramadan kareem

[@jannahonlyforgoodpeople1444]

🥰😍😍❤️😍😍🥰🥰😍❤️❤️😍🥰

[@tricksie88]

So good! Your teens are lucky to have you as mothers. May Allah guide and protect you and your families. Ameen.

[@jouwayriyaable]

For sure Allahuma berik!

[@jannahonlyforgoodpeople1444]

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@khaireenbat]

Ameen

[@12345678956824]

*Remember you were a teenager once* is a very solid piece of advice

[@shakiratanifowoshe]

Your teens are so lucky to have you. I didn’t have this conversational-type relationship with my strict African parents. Alhamdullillah I winged it through anyways 😅

[@jannahonlyforgoodpeople1444]

😘😍❤️🥰❤️😍😘😘😍❤️🥰❤️

[@naychagirl2389]

I found that maintaining an Islamic household and having my teen respect the household worked better than trying to control her every move. I kept in mind that there is no compulsion in this religion and that we raised her with Islamic values and that would be her base. When in high school, my daughter started to take her head scarf off. My husband thought it was the start of downfall. I didn't. She continued to dress modest, be respectful and maintain her virginity. I would much rather my girl uncover her hair and keep her virginity. I was more concerned that she continue to behave properly and BE good, not be deceptive in looking a certain way but behaving otherwise. At this point she's 25 and I nudge her about the leggings but I am her biggest fan. She's a wonderful young lady who loves Allah, is engaged to a Muslim young man and not traumatized by Islamic police parents.

[@tuxafatuxa22]

I don’t have kids yet but this was/is very important and informative mash Allah sisters Ramadan Mubarak to all my sisters and brothers may Allah forgive us and accepts our fasting 🤲🏾🤲🏿🤲🏽🤲🏻💕

[@12345678956824]

Ameen

[@MaryamAnidu]

Ramadan Mubarak

[@sbonisonkomo192]

Like us adults who don't like to be told or forced,more so for teenagers with all the hormonal changes going on we have to set the example,be hands on in every facit of their lives and most of all making a whole lot of due for our kids because they have a whole lot of different challenges that we as parents can't even comprehend,May Allah make it easy for them,ameen

[@akilasultana2368]

I’d say honestly, being a parent at all let alone parents of teens takes a HIGH level of self awareness and humbleness as parents. They’re extremely important qualities as well. Often times parents in Islam take the authority they get as parents and abuse it without fully understanding their role as a parent within another human beings life. It’s important for everyone to know their place and to hold those boundaries and respect them. You’re not always right as a parent. Most parents don’t even know their kids. You have to take that seriously.

[@TheNiqabiDiaries]

Alhamdulillah I have two teens I definitely agree with he points raised. One very important thing is there is not teenage phase in Islam. Being a teen is something still relatively new. We enter this phase now where we have these young adults who are not children but are not treated as adults by law yet in their nature they want to be respected and make their own choices and decisions with their own mind. Once they reach this phase I personally believe the best way to treat them is a friend. Yes you are a parent but the days of 'raising' them are over. Islamically they are adults and are accountable to Allah. So we should be friends to them and try to give them the best advice and support and ask them for likewise. Yes you are still the one in charge and they have to follow your rules but let them do it with breathing space. My teens are 17 and 14 and they are like my room mates alhamdulillah. It is Allah who guides and we have to trust in Him that He accepts our efforts from us and pray that we have done our best. But it really isn't up to us who is guided or not. Just like with non Muslim family or friends make dua for them but know that their choices are theirs to make if they make not so good choices then they are human like us.

[@LaYinkaSanni]

"It is Allah who guides and we have to trust in Him that He accepts our efforts from us and pray that we have done our best. But it really isn't up to us who is guided or not." Yes, sis! This is what I've reminded myself of.

[@sma4301]

@@LaYinkaSanni weldone sis. May Allah reward you and your team. Keep up the good work 👏

[@jannahonlyforgoodpeople1444]

❤️😍🥰😍❤️❤️❤️😍🥰🥰😍❤️🥰🥰

[@Jonokoy]

OMG! You, girls, are so awesome!😍💐 I've converted to Islam recently and have been thinking of my children growing up in a western society, lost and looking for answers. So glad I found you! Are three amazing women! Love you!😘♥️

[@Jonokoy]

@Saba Shaikh Amin. Thank you, sister!

[@Jonokoy]

@Saba Shaikh❤️

[@sumayaisse3360]

I can relate the idea that Sumayah lifted up that "having an image to hold up- the family's *good* picture". As being a daughter of a Sheikh, everyone expects me to behave like a one. It is sometimes hard to maintain this acting. My parents can't bare hearing the community saying "if he a sheikh, he better look at his daughter's behavior before advising us about our kid's behaviors". So, it's challenging to behave like a daughter of a sheikh, because you never been a one before in another lifetime. The perfection that EVERYBODY is expecting is so huge!

[@khaireenbat]

SubhaanAllah. Life must be quite challenging for you, Sister. I reckon you must feel like you're under scrutiny of the community's eyes most of the time. May Allah give you ease.

[@axis2312]

You can be imperfect yourself but your advice might be beneficial, because perfection is subjective but when it comes to knowledge (such as a Sheikh's) you're already more qualified than others. Your father, may Allah bless him, has a huge responsibility but he cannot be held accountable for your shortcomings (not to say you have any!) because you could have your own struggles and this should not be a reflection of his teachings. I feel it for you because what you feel is totally valid, but that's like accusing the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, of being unqualified to give rulings and advice just because those who surrounded him may have made mistakes. You already sound so conscientious and respectful, and I believe that just by having this consideration for your family's image is honourable enough, but I can understand how difficult it is in real life because hypocrites just love when others fall short so that they may seem more righteous. May Allah watch over your whole family and give you patience and ease.

[@worshipthecreator9081]

No one is perfect even if your the Sheikhs children.

[@sumayaisse3360]

@Saba ShaikhAlright! Aameen! ❤

[@Vishinskyscritic]

As a 18 year old muslimah I surprisingly really enjoyed this discussion and I think I've gained a new found appreciation for my mother, seeing how her actions mirror some of the advice that was given. I think as children we should also always remember that our parents truly always just want the best for us. May Allah make it easy for all of us in our own journeys. Allahuma ameen.

[@shamila2008]

I have three boys 3, 4 and 6 and i already worry so much about when they grow up to be teenagers. I believe in having a strong relationship with my boys. I hope when they look back on their childhood they will remember that i was a friend to them. They are after all young adults in the making and its so important that we always bare in mind that they are growing mentally and they need guidance but not dictatorship. Communication is key but from a loving place.

[@akremsuadik5334]

subhanAllah. Cant believe how good this video was. how informative it was. this entire video reminded me of my childhood and the solution/remedy is just simply what you feel like you needed when you were a teen.

[@mariamhalfani28]

Subhanallah this took me back. I felt like an odd one out when growing up. Had it not been for the open ear of my father and me moving to a school where I had friends that impacted me positively till now, it scares me to wonder where i would have been now without that. Teen hood can be quite challenging.

[@nadiramazumder6400]

Oh this one will be good

[@hyrunnisa997]

Sometimes as a practicing community i understand that we should forbid the wrong and enjoin the right but sometimes I think we need a little more nuance. We shouldn't just go around telling people who don't want to hear it, especially teens that they need to be perfect. We need a little more ihsan and less halal and haram. Some one can be doing a little good now and that's ok. And later they can do better but let's not be so judgy.

[@yasminmohammed5327]

I almost cried and was very scared at the thought of HTT coming to an end. During the end of the first season. Am so glad you guys came back and i pray this program grows and becomes something really big Insha Allah

[@bintjamiel2873]

Subhana'Allah I am not married yet but i just wanna save this video for my future review, very very educative I would give it a MILLION thumbs up. May Allah make it easy for us and guide us all. ameen

[@yasminelmi3401]

Seriously so grateful I can look up to older sisters like you guys! Thank you so much for being the light and inspiring a little 20 year old to iA be the kind of mother you guys are, allahuma barek❤️

[@maisaw1454]

Honest Tea Talk always comes through with gems and questions to ponder about. These talks are so important. I always end up smiling, laughing, crying because it's so deep. I save these in my self-development, parenthood and marriage as well as real talk playlist to come back to it and I take notes when I watch it during the day. When Aaliyah and Sumayah locked gazes at 17:46 and said "she comes through" I felt that because I would have come through. Sometimes I would have liked to have these open conversations with my parents but as Sumayah said it's not possible. Not to forget the fact the we all were once children, teenagers! Ahaha I cracked when Layinka said "tears on the prayer mat". I love the idea of going for a walk or driving because eye-to-eye really intimidates me. "Hippie Layinka", "I make Istikhara every day"😂😂 I love the fact of bringing the company home even if they are not Muslim, that's important wooow. I love the key take aways always "Just remember you're a teenager once and cut them some slack" + "creating a safe space and one on one walks" + "making dua and communication". I feel like you have touched the main points. It's important to put yourself in your children/teen shoes and try to understand with their limited knowledge and different experience but this alone takes a lot of work especially with the traditional mindset of "listen to your parents they know it, you haven't lived yet to talk". Honestly, would love to talk to you guys in person🥺❤. May Allah grant you three Jannah firadaus, accept all your prayers, duas and fast and that you raise good Muslims who are able to pass the same awareness and adaption on in sha Allah ameen💫

[@sisa3277]

I’m literally the age of LaYinka’s eldest son. Like MashaAllah lady, you’ve aged pretty well.....

[@LaYinkaSanni]

I now wonder what you think my age is (and what you thought it was before knowing I have a 17 year old) 😅.

[@sisa3277]

@@LaYinkaSanni true miss, I really thought you were like in your late 20s or early 30s or something along those lines because Alhumdulillah you all are beautiful and refreshing in your own way. Albeit, my mum is in her early 40s and I am the eldest one😉😉so you’d probably get the idea. Still MashaAllah ma’am, I must say I think of all three of you as my virtual best friends that help me in introspection and connecting with the Creator. Keep up the good work ladies!!! Ramadan Mubarak from India (yup, your new video is posted on Tuesday for people like me😅)

[@zehabiarazakazi697]

Alhamdullilah a great episode - it’s so important to put aside ego and see the child as a precious soul with needs. One thing I would love to be addressed is what to do when your parenting style does not match that of the spouse. It could be due to being raised differently, different priorities, not understanding child psychology (e.g. punitive reactions rather than caring and restorative ones), ego etc. It causes a difficult situation with a teen to become so much more stressful when you can’t get support to resolve it appropriately and the teen is caught in the middle.

[@axis2312]

Beautiful discussion sisters, your talks are so beneficial! Because of the society we live in and how tempting everything is, I'm scared that they'll make so many mistakes that they get desensitised to sins, OR the other extreme, where they feel like they're too far gone, so they end up hating themselves and check out spiritually. I totally agree sister LaYinka! Allah is ever merciful and forgiving so we must try to be as sympathetic as we can with them and try our hardest to put ourselves in their shoes. All we can do is make sure they don't make life altering choices and that they always come back to Allah. This capitalist world makes it so hard for the children to marry early and set themselves up in a family unit, so it's heart breaking to see them fall short all because the world is set up for them to worry about earning money, with everything else becoming secondary. What was said about the child saying "I just want to fit in and be normal" is such a universal teen feeling. I really feel it for them. I love that you sisters are setting such great examples. May Allah bless you all and Ramadan Mubarak!

[@emirovich_]

The child must see support and understanding in the parent, so that if he makes a problem he knows that the parent will not judge him but will help him find his way. Therefore, I think that open and honest communication is the key to raising children.

[@nabilahaalkarima5441]

Extremely informative and thought provoking conversations!! This conversation resonated with me in many aspects, particularly as a new revert.. not to mention my teens have yet to choose Islam but believe in God. Mashallah communication is best. Jazakallah Khair. :)

[@duaashaykh9201]

Ma Shaa Allah this was really a beautiful and informative discussion. As parents we need to establish a relationship with our children whereby wer're ready to train ourselves to be according to the developmental stage of our children, our communication and everything else should be inline with their capacity and developmental stage. There should be a secure attachment and health parent-child interaction that's manifested through the lenses of Islam, meaning every religious obligations that you want to convey to your child or even teach should first be something that's embedded within every aspect of you as a parent and something that you do in consistency. Children learn from actions rather than words so don't command them to do anything rather do it yourself.

[@jannahonlyforgoodpeople1444]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@December3oo3]

One of the best episodes so far. I have teenage siblings and are exposed to many things right now and it's kinda hard and scary to even have a conversation with them. And I see that sometimes it's hard to make a balance between how we see things as adults and how they see things and have a middle ground.

[@user-gu5ph5zq2s]

Okay but how do I get my strict immigrant parents to listen to this

[@ferimaballo8990]

Salam walakum (aunties) I feel like this applies to alot of young adults, not just teens. Unfortunately sometimes the line of communication were never established, and it becomes a learned behavior, where topics are just not addressed.

[@Lama-ys9by]

Its so helpful and beautiful that you had given concrete methods and exampled from your life. I love you for Allah and this talks are soo empowered and inspirational!

[@aeronation7465]

Excellent episode sisters, ive always understood through experiences being raised in a single parent household and my mothers devotion to Allah and always turning to Allah when in need even though she barely knew how to pray SubhanAllah. It is through our parents devotion and actions we learn our own imaan.

[@saraharold3670]

Always good lessons for the Mums in your parenting advice and points that we need to hear, that's it's not only about your family's public image but about guiding young hearts. Jazzakum allahu khairan

[@sultana_467]

You guys are on fire 🔥 Loving this season! Ma sha Allah ❤❤❤

[@DunyaVersusAsana]

Alhamdurillah I appreciate this conversation ❤️

[@quranforlife6107]

Ramadan Mubarak to all of you. May Allah accept our worship and snowball our reward.

[@zeinabkhamis232]

Ameen 🤲

[@12345678956824]

Ameen

[@aishabaajamaal5046]

Thank you girls

[@HS84775]

Mashallah this is wonderful as a mum of two young children this was a golden discussion thank you so much for this ❤

[@Mrhba778]

Beside important topics, the videos are also a good resource for English-language. Thanks!

[@moyse001]

Changing your mind is ok! Everyone is an individual, it’s not necessarily a ‘test’ for you. Maybe they think you’re a test for them! You just think differently :)

[@oxegbedi6330]

Sisters...Maashaa-Allaah. I’m kinda speechless... May Allaah bless and reward all of you abundantly. And May Allaah bless and protect you and all of your families.

[@JDforeveralone]

Allahumma sta3an... Allahumma sta3an 💔... Wish this topic would be more discussed!

[@khaireenbat]

Jazakum Allah khayran. Thank you, my three lovely sisters for this very interesting episode.

[@aminanoor6337]

such an insightful conversation, MashaAllah these lovely ladies are so articulate in their thoughts

[@gamingwithhbgalaxylife4224]

too short of a video in my opinion. I think the number one issue teenagers face ( im 18 M) is that we are outcasted by society. People see us as these radical people who believe in god, no premarital relations which is then paired with the fact that media shows all these things non muslims are enjoying which we cant participate in . This really affects us especially when it cant be talked about with parents without harsh judgment and things like "Astag.... how can you be thinking these things" etc. Another huge problem is intimacy. We as muslims are expected to marry ect but lets look at the time line. In the UK most muslims marry around 24+ when they have graduated and got their first career job which makes sense. This means that from puberty onwards where our hormones are raging and whilst out non muslim counter parts are indulging in bf/gf relationships ( which is at least 6 years of these feelings that need to be supressed). The way we do marriage has SO MUCH resistance and bench marks that need to be met which makes teens turn towards zina. Im going to university next year where I will be living away from home and if im being honest I probably will engage myself in a relationship and im sure that's the main reason most girls and guys choose to live away from parents when they are going to university. Yes we will spout this i want to be independent, learn to fend for myself notion but i think the truth is that we feel restricted at home. Its really tough and not something which can just be talked about in the open without facing harsh judgement.

[@shahee6579]

Yes it's seen as very weird . But please do not enter a relationship. Stay away from the opposite gender . Fast and lower your gaze . I know it's hard but the reward will be sweet

[@gamingwithhbgalaxylife4224]

@@shahee6579 Its impossible imao. We have put so much resistance to getting a halal marriage that I have to wait 7+ years to get a spouse. Why should I put myself through such an painful time.

[@shahee6579]

@@gamingwithhbgalaxylife4224 brother I'm in a similar boat and not far in age from you . You should out yourself through it because the repercussions in the dunya and akhira are not worth it .

[@channabiryan]

@@gamingwithhbgalaxylife4224 It's not impossible. It seems like you have already have made up a decision on what you intend to do. It's not worth it.

[@sleepx3651]

You nailed it dude. It’s the same for Muslim sisters. In fact worse most of the time. We have to be more realistic, and our parents are just not willing to be open minded about many things.

[@kamitra4112]

Alhamdulilah!!!This video has been so helpful in how to approach my 13 year old that’s going into high school.

[@gigimonrose157]

Loved it! Great discussion again ladies! 🥰 X

[@harrietwilliams8037]

Masha Allah this is very important topic Thanks ladies

[@princesstigress2010]

Teens rebel. They can rebel everything except matters of our deen! SubhanaAllah! That's so important to always remember.. and emphasis on.. 📌📌

[@nadia-qn8pp]

Amazing !

[@adnaanowfar7135]

Ramdan Mubarak to you guys, May Allah bless you and our families and guide us to the straight way! Lovely video btw!

[@Therealdeal101]

Many children loose their way because of hypocrisy in their parents and other Muslims, who expect children to be perfect while the parents continue do haram and disregard their duty to Islam. If us adults try to uphold all tenants of Islam in our lives, then Allah ﷻ will reward us with righteous children but if we neglect our duties then these same children can be source of punishment.

[@LaYinkaSanni]

And many children lose their way because they have freewill, and have chosen for themselves despite their parents doing their best, and despite their parents upholding the tenants of Islam.

[@axis2312]

@@LaYinkaSanni I couldn't agree more. I've seen parents with hearts of gold who have wayward children and I've seen lax parents (albeit not as much) with kids who make up for their parents' downfall. It's never black or white. As a parent your main job is to love, guide and discipline them in a healthy way. Whatever they choose is not in your hands because you cannot control society, school, friends or thoughts, so we have to remove this stigma of parents being the blame

[@Therealdeal101]

@@LaYinkaSanni I’m glad you changed the wording of you original critique of my comment . I wish you had left the critique and my subsequent response, which in different words is saying what you are saying in your corrected comment, visible so it would elaborate and clarify to other readers who may have the same critique as you.

[@LaYinkaSanni]

@@Therealdeal101 My sentiments are still the same, especially in relation to the 'if/then' formula you've stated above which is rigid and more absolute than 'many'.

[@Therealdeal101]

@@axis2312 I’m sorry sister but if the parents don’t practice what they preach, meaning of hypocritical, then they are to partially blame for their children’s misdeeds. Parents have to be more critical of themselves before they are critical of their children. I come across many parents who complain of their children and the first thing I do is assess the parents; nine out of ten the problem stems from parents. They are running after their dunia, disregards to what halal and haram, community responsibilities, neglecting their salah and/or other social needs, that are required of Muslims. Then they complain of children who also are running after dunia but their dunia desires are different than the parents so the parents don’t realize the children are doing the same as the parents. If parents do their best in their character and raising children according to Islam then they get the reward of the good in their children but will not held responsible for their misdeeds.

[@nobleamina125]

So so grateful to have you on board to break this nuts. It very educative. May Allah Bless You All 🙏

[@feruketemitayo5622]

Mashallah 🤲🏽.. This was beautiful to watch. Weldone sisters.

[@StarsabovetheEmeraldForest]

Asalamu alaikum sisters, another great video allhumdulillah. So much good advice, especially for the times that we live in. I love the idea of one on one time with kids, they need it and so do we as parents. Each kid requires that core love, but they also require affection and attention in different ways based on their personality. If we pay attention to who our kids are as an individual, then we will learn what they need from us so that they can grow.

[@leyloyusuf5337]

masha allah it is powerfull message

[@user-ws2dg7gj6t]

بارك الله فيكم

[@asiacooley9884]

Thank you so much for all the help! InshaAllah can you do an episode on letting go? 💗🥰

[@filsanmohamed8026]

May Allah protection be with you and Ramadan Mubarak 🌙

[@zzainab9017]

Alhamdulilah my mom always told my sister and I that we could come to her about anything :) that open line of communication helped me a great deal in my teenage years ♥️ this video was very needed and may Allah reward you all for bringing this topic to light ♥️

[@tasnimaraibia914]

Salaam could you provide the question prompts that you used in the weekend away please

[@DunyaVersusAsana]

RAMADAN KAREEM☪️

[@user-oc6xd4ee5l]

Ramadan kareem ☪️

[@fatouceesay3992]

Jazakallah khair love you sisters for the sake of Allah..educative topic..

[@muhammadalfazazi8396]

جزاكم الله خيرا

[@hebaalmurai5012]

please talk about interculturall marriages challenges

[@mahamadousanyang5379]

Salam alaikum sisters I'm so in love with your program honest tea talk since the very first day I come across it on KZbin you guys are doing a very good and helpful thing on this program may Allah reward you all for your hard work you are doing for the Muslim ummah ❤️❤️❤️👌👍🙏

[@sbonisonkomo192]

Like us adults who don't like to be told or forced,more so for teenagers with all the hormonal changes going on we have to set the example,be hands on in every facit of their lives and most of all making a whole lot of dua for our kids because they have a whole lot of different challenges that we as parents can't even comprehend,May Allah make it easy for them,ameen

[@sunkaro1317]

Who else notice Aliya , i think she loose weight and she is looking younger now than the previous seasons. Ladies just like you said at the begining of the season all the topics are🔥. Keep up the good work we love you guys ❤🙏 and Ramadan Kareem to all three of you and all Muslims around the world...

[@cherotichhajira1774]

This is so important masha Allah

[@Sapphire1721]

I’ve made a decision to only teach my children and aqeedah and 5 pillars. Everything else they can arrive at in their own time.

[@bbjattachannel3602]

This is very good ... May Allah guide and protect you all.... Watching from Germany 🙏

[@rahmaabdi5715]

Ramadan Mubarak every one ❤️😊

[@hobbiesofamuslimgirl]

where is episode 8 and 9?

[@k.a.m.a.r.a_k.a.m.a.r.a1976]

Installing Tawheed in them from childhood.

[@destressandmotivation9656]

Can you please tell me the name of sumaya channel and if she has a channel?? Thanks!

[@xamzexazan5778]

masha allah, may allah bless you, where can i get that nasheed intro please?.

[@AStarozzy89]

Aslam Alakum sisters, has anyone got info for a Muslim family solicitor in and around london?

[@macalinahmeddheereonline9371]

ماشاءالله تبارك الرحمن ❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤ الله يحفظكن جميعا❤❤❤❤

[@mirademtingz6585]

I really admire you sisters. Do you think that mothers can relate to boy teenagers the way their fathers and uncles can?

[@LaYinkaSanni]

I've thought a lot about this question, and I know for sure my son is closer to me. And I also recognise that I, as a woman, am limited in the things I can teach him as I am female and there are several things I don't have experiential knowledge about to pass onto him.

[@mirademtingz6585]

@@LaYinkaSanni Allahuma barik. I asked because I've noticed that mothers and sons often have great relationships. I hope not to offend you but spouses often complain about a husband who is a mummies boy and a daddies girl. I've noticed young men who've been around their father a lot often become desired and successful from a marriage pov, whilst those young men raised in absence of masculinity often struggle from a marriage pov. Just observations I've made over the years I'm sure it doesn't always apply in all cases

[@LaYinkaSanni]

@@mirademtingz6585 Being close to one's mother or father doesn't necessarily mean being a mummy's boy or daddy's girl. My observations of mummy's boys and daddy's girls in adulthood are those whose parents haven't afforded them the ability to be independent and have instead allowed the child to rely heavily on them.

[@mirademtingz6585]

@@LaYinkaSanni Noted. We love our women folk and our mothers. For a boy to become a man he must be around men (father, uncle, older brothers). Often around the age of puberty though boys love their mothers they can't relate with regards to the challenges of manhood. Back in history boys were separated from their mother at age 7 to be taken out to the wild by men so that they may become strong to lead their future families. So if the men from his family don't set an example he will adopt father figures from mass culture like rappers, athletes and entertainers who are poor role models.

[@JDforeveralone]

There is unfortunately a lot of harshness in the revert community with situations like this. Judging and finger pointing blaming u name it. I'm living in the Arab world and find that amongst the "locals" there's much more empathy and understanding in such matters. Guess, like sister Aliyah said: we (reverts especially) expect them to be perfect and forget that no-one was actually born with a beard or a jilbab !!! 😒 And what is even worse is, the madhhabism which has crawled into our midst. Not being tolerant that there may be not just one understanding of a particular issue of fiqh and that maybe some groups tend to take the most strictest of interpretations in matters of fiqh - pls don't get me wrong - everything's gotta be based on Qur'an and Sunnah . So if let's say your child is into drawing (without faces) and her friends are suddenly not allowed anymore and then u get the feeling that the parent is actually trying to keep her kids away from urs!! We're in a very sad situation and like I mentioned before already..... This happens a lot in the revert community! Very sad Allahumma yahdina jami3an!

[@masilva4800]

Asalam aleykum sisters may Allah bless you

[@g_m15]

*God is in charge for guidance*

[@razer0072073]

12:54 15:27

[@michellepeacock7716]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@zainabstewartstewart9585]

You see hijab in mainstream school's(this is why Muslim schools is important.Girls would be fitten in with hijab in a Muslim girls school.I see the Jews never put their kids in mainstream..And LOOK when you pass an area of Jewish community(all in their outfits)they dont say I want to fit in..

[@MaryBB.]

What if the teen wants to live the western lifestyle and is an agnostic, still listen and let her do everything? If you do, dont you accept her views and she feels free to do everything she desires?

[@axis2312]

I don't think you should just give up and accept :). Teens are confused and torn so it's natural that they try to rebel or follow the crowd. We play a part by pushing them lightly in the right direction when they fall behind, but when big issues arise, where the teen declares agnosticism and lives a free lifestyle, the only way to bring them back is by keeping the door open to fruitful and deep discussions and getting to the bottom of why they think/ feel like they do. Beating/ screaming/ disowning them is un-Islamic, we must do all we can to practise what we preach to them. Even the best of parents struggle with this so it's natural to feel like you have all the responsibility, but sometimes you really don't so it's best to be kind to yourself. I think the best thing is having a good relationship with them, showing them that you can listen so that they will listen to you too, and above all have patience. If you have delivered the message well, they will get it in the end! And Allah knows best

[@saniaf258]

There is usually a reasoning for why they are having agonist beliefs. They may not be receiving adequate answers to their Islamic questions. Try to figure those questions and see if you can answer them yourself. If not, it’s a weakness in your Iman and you and your children both need to become more aware of the teachings. That’s completely fine. I often find that a person who’s believing finds it difficult to connect to the person who’s unsure with their beliefs. Islam also encourages reasoning and logic. Personally I found KZbin channels like Bayyinah tv, Yaqeen institute and freeQuranlessons very helpful in trying to understand the reasoning for the rulings and practices. You and your children might find them helpful too. Peace.

[@g_m15]

*Don't steal their possible rewards*

[@agbajelatifat9862]

Hmmm this episode we just need to be honest with each other and our kids also most importantly keep seeking Allahs’ guidance...

[@anisamian3978]

Salams what is it sis aliyah that you went out of your boundary to experience with your teens. That's what is imp to know. Because some want to go as far as clubbing and dating etc Which is their concept to fit in in a western societies. Jazakallahkhair

[@jibakhassaw9702]

my mum and father are muslim but im not practiced islamic stuff, can you please talk about modern dating sytle, side chick , cheating, sugar daddy

[@MINA-wh2sx]

👀