Two Mothers Face "Impossible Decision" After Hospital Error | Robin Dawkins & Gavin Parker Analysis

[@zoer7338]

I remember watching a documentary about this, and coming away feeling like money was the deciding factor for Robin to be with his biological mother. He said he felt that it was unfair for the other boy to have the things that he couldn't have, and the other boy had absolutely no interest in his biological mother bc she didn't have money. I feel so sorry for the woman who's lack of $ made her unlovable to those children.

[@LDiamondz]

Yes, I feel terrible for Sandy. First you have a son, then find out he's not yours. Then, later, you have no son. It's so heartbreaking.

[@crowmedicine3890]

It's hard to imagine a child choosing ANYONE other than his mom, the mom he's known since the day he was born. Unbelievable.

[@ChristinaTodd1970]

What's interesting is I got the impression that Megs was snooty and thought she was better than Sandy, socially superior. 15 years later and her biological son thinks the same thing. Maybe it's in their DNA. Food for thought.

[@imaginationturtle5447]

@@crowmedicine3890I mean they’re not being materialistic but rather honest about quality of life and luck, I mean imagine knowing you have no opportunities because your birth mother chose another child

[@RealGlowup]

@@ChristinaTodd1970good point

[@Vintagecharm57]

I was taken home by the wrong mother back in the 1950s. It was discovered about 12 hours later. The mother who took me lived about an hour away from the hospital and didn’t have a telephone. Thankfully the doctor and nurse drove to her house and got me back. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if the mistake hadn’t been discovered.

[@kristydoman3434]

Wow, just wow.

[@darleneww3670]

Thank goodness you were returned to your parents.

[@jofranklin549]

What state and town were you born?

[@MissMillieEllie]

Do you know how it was discovered? So happy that the doctor and the nurse took things seriously and fixed the situation!

[@pwallace5359]

That’s fascinating. Wish I could hear more details about your story.

[@cottoncandisandi6109]

My mom's 87 and I still ask her " to return me to my real , rich , mother " . She just smacks my head and walks on by . 😁

[@CatsArePeopleToo]

LOL

[@susane2131]

😂😂😂

[@nubianprincess2771]

When my Dad asked "Where did we get you from"? I would tell him to "Give me to the Gypsies "....then HE would get pissed 😑at ME

[@rabbitsonjupiter6824]

My dad used to tell me he found me under a gooseberry bush! 😂

[@katarina1852]

🤣🤣🤣

[@always_b_natural703]

Some time ago, I saw a documentary on a baby mix up in Italy. If I remember correctly, the girls were about 5 yrs old when the mix up was discovered. The children were switched back to their birth families. The gov't provided counseling for both families. In the end, the families became friends and most holidays were spent together as extended family. I think a difference in this case was both families were stable, married couples, and the film clips and interviews definitely indicated emotionally healthy and supportive people - the adults, the girls and the siblings in both families.

[@amandajolu]

Switching children at five years old is nuts. I have memories as far back as three years old and if I would've been given to another family even that young, I would've been devastated. It's like being kidnapped.

[@codyco3199]

Exactly, stable, married couple are key words. Getting pregnant during an “encounter “ is never a good idea. Morals matter.

[@barnagotte7297]

Switching families at 5 YO?! That's child abuse, period.

[@noreenfarooqui6829]

@@codyco3199 Maybe she just wanted a baby.

[@maddiekain7728]

No one comes out of such a situation undamaged, but i do think that both families coming together and sharing in raising and loving both children is the best possible option. It wouldn't be easy, might even feel impossible, but objectively, I can't think of anything better. What a mess.

[@crazydaisyog3984]

This is heartbreaking. Although I agree switching them back at 2yrs old would have been the best decision. However, as the Mom of 2 sons, I understand the decision. By 2 years old I had an unbreakable bond with my sons. These mothers were put into a traumatic and devastating situation, so were the kids. The amount of money they were awarded to should have been more than traveling expenses. In my opinion.

[@ChristinaTodd1970]

I'm a mom to three sons and I agree, the bond I had with each child by 20 months was unbreakable. No way I could have given away any of them. However, I wonder if suddenly finding out that wasn't my child would have changed my emotional attachment. I also wonder if sperating a child with it's primary caregiver at this stage of development would have psychologically injured the child.

[@TheMattTrakker]

So you would have put your bond ahead of what was best for the child? That's interesting.

[@lisaschmidt8466]

I could never give up a child I had for two years. Co-parenting would be the only solution.

[@jamesbowman6925]

@@ChristinaTodd1970 This would have been a no brainer for me; I would have wanted to switch the kids back immediately.

[@rachelgooden9981]

Exactly. Not as easy as it sounds.

[@jasmincampbell8105]

The biggest tragedy of this is what happened to Sandy. She thought she was making the best decision for all parties involved only to end up with neither child😔

[@TheYoli182]

Sandy was poor I was poor growing up. No child will want that even if it's their bio mom. Being poor is not a flex. Living in westernized countries put that in our faces.

[@TheMattTrakker]

She was poor and decided to have another child. It doesn't sound like she was the most responsible person.

[@thatonethisone5904]

Fair comment, excellent observation, being poor in the West is a very tough gig. @@TheYoli182

[@OJ_Pimpson]

@@TheYoli182nonsense.

[@TheYoli182]

@@OJ_Pimpson How what I said is nonsense?

[@eafortson]

The real tragedy here is that the mothers weren’t awarded more money in the lawsuit. Given that the mothers decided to keep the children where they were, I feel the hospital had a responsibility to financially support both mothers to least bring them to parity. This would have given Sandy a fighting chance. How utterly devastating for all involved.

[@kingcosworth2643]

The hospital is responsible for a payout but certainly not 'support'

[@eafortson]

@@kingcosworth2643 I agree with you but it’s semantics. Probably a poor choice of words on my part. What I meant was a large enough pay out that it would actually Support them in the difficult task of navigating the situation the hospital ultimately caused. 50k or what ever it was is a ridiculously low ball amount, even for the era it was in. People who slipped and fell in a store with no long term injury, or people who got sick from undercooked food got pay outs larger than that in the same era. Absolutely ridiculous.

[@annaf3915]

I think they should have been awarded the funds to both take a year off, move in together and gradually take over more and more of the care of their biological child. That way switching back the children wouldn't be more traumatizing to the boys than parents breaking up. They would have stayed in each others' lives with less conflict - you can't criticize the way a woman is raising her own biological child, even if you saw him as yours when he was a baby and still love him.

[@freshrot420]

Y'all do know where hospitals get their money, right?

[@eafortson]

@@freshrot420 In a case id imagine it would be covered by their malpractice insurance (one would assume but these things vary by country). But the more important question would be, what difference does that make to what we were discussing?

[@moonstruck562]

I think the trauma from switching back the babies to their bio moms would have been much shorter in comparison to the lifetime trauma and agony of knowing your biological kid is being raised by someone other than you. I am a mom and I couldn't do it. I mean they could have still stayed in each others life and both moms could have visited the boys while raising their own. It's sad that one mom ultimately lost both.

[@judyives1832]

I can’t believe anyone would “switch” back after bonding. I don’t care who were the sperm and egg donors, once you’ve loved a baby for a year, it’s your baby. By caring so much about dna (which is pretty much similar in all people) you disrespect adopted children.

[@peacehappyb237]

@@judyives1832 I would. It is the best at the end. When they are not switched back, it seems to end badly.

[@AlextheENTP]

@@judyives1832 It's not disrespectful to adoptive families, because in cases like this, the placement of the children was completely _unintentional_ - no-one in the situation was psychologically prepared for adoption, they were psychologically prepared to give birth and take home the babies they had gestated. Adoption remains a valid family set-up.

[@justmejo9008]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t know what I would have done 😢

[@perfectpeace352]

Our children share our DNA. we are more than sperm and egg donors. They share our biological makeup. They are unique and share characteristics of their biological family. I have met people who have met their bioparents after adoption and have found them to be very connected and similar. I would certainly get my child back. This whole situation would have been resolved if they had done that and parted ways. @@judyives1832

[@bossyspaghetti]

My aunt was given the wrong baby when she gave birth to one of my cousins. She immediately told them this was not her baby, and they told her it was, she was just tired from a long labor. She started getting really upset, telling them they were wrong, so much so that they had to remove the baby from the room. Hours later they returned with the right baby and apologized for "the mixup." She had the rest of her children at home. Unbelievable.

[@tripledair]

"So with only two babies in the maternity ward, the nurse could not keep them straight." Dang Dr Grande

[@stugrant01]

They did happen to look like almost identical twins.

[@verucasalt9182]

@@stugrant01that’s why babies are given a wristband with their names .

[@mynameispeaches]

I mean we were all thinking it.

[@janicesmith1956]

I lived in south Africa years ago believe me can see how that would happen.

[@jekku4688]

FACTS. The nurse was an idiot. Or a sadist.

[@MM-gd1dw]

As a former perinatal nurse, I have no words. An absolute nightmare. Thank you, Dr. Grande.

[@areyoureyesstillblue]

This reminds me of something my grandmother told me...there were only two cars in the town she grew up in and they crashed into each other.

[@spencedbuddy6343]

That's weirdly poetic

[@HarleysDucks]

😭😭😭

[@MlewIs-qr5ot]

That's awesome Grandma's are filled with insight ..My Grandma said during the depression era you could buy pound of bologna for only a nickel (5 cents ) but no one had a nickel and her house was so small and crowded there wasnt enough room to skin a cat

[@JamesDavis-w7v]

I love that!

[@maureeningleston1501]

As a parent I can't imagine how horrific this would have been.

[@WilliamSussman]

You really don’t have to be a parent to imagine it, I promise it’s not hard

[@rodneythe3rd122]

What’s horrific about this do you plan on something horrifying over this?

[@rodneythe3rd122]

@@brianclingenpeel5123 they said it was horrific what’s so deadly about this?

[@somewhataddicted7685]

@@brianclingenpeel5123 ?? buddy it IS your child. you woke them up everyday. fed them. took care of them. YOU RAISED THEM. being THAT attached to human DNA over human connection is the only horrifying part of this.

[@somewhataddicted7685]

@@rodneythe3rd122 Horror "an intense feeling of fear, shock, or disgust" . Horrific ''causing horror''.

[@rdpcl]

On 2005 in my country there were 2 babies switched at birth too, they were 10 months old and the families decided to switch them back so each couple could raise their biological son. It's mind boggling to me that these kids weren't switched back since they were still so young. ETA: it wasn't an easy or fast decision to make. The families even decided to sign a contract to guarantee that each couple would keep contact with the other child even if the adults grew apart. Both families still meet from time to time and they don't regret switching back.

[@thecatatemyhomework]

You can't compare two years old and ten months.

[@sarahmurphy7838]

sure you can.@@thecatatemyhomework

[@helenmcdonnell2585]

They should have been switched, the trauma caused by them keeping the non biological son would have been avoided

[@Cinder_311]

​@thecatatemyhomework it's not that huge a difference. They should have switched them back

[@jamesbowman6925]

@@sarahp8937Not switching them was a selfish decision. They should have been switched back-full stop.

[@JP-ht6nm]

Dr. Grande, I have to point out that your videos have gotten tremendously better over the past few years. I still enjoy your old content, but you really figured out audio, delivery, etc. Your videos are great, thanks for the informative content!

[@toocutepuppies6535]

I'm loving the evolving cactus 🌵 theme!

[@greatamericandreamrealty802]

Agree!

[@Anna-cx4tg]

The pause in "I'll put the link in the description for this video" is gone, and this is all that matters to me 🙈

[@AdrianaWhitney]

I think I understand Robin’s choice to go back to his bio mom. Sandy said on an interview that she wanted his bio son to survive and have a better life than what she could offer. I bet that comment made Robin resent Sandy and made him feel like no one was thinking about his well-being.

[@melissaharris3389]

It makes her sound like a cockcoo that laid her egg in another's nest.

[@alejandrovargas7592]

Yep, ... The absolutely most moral and intelligent thing, would have been to switch them back as quickly as possible. All of the bitterness, resentment, and emotional trauma suffered by Sandy and Robin would never have happened. Sandy was deeply troubled by this terrible situation. It wasn't helpful that Megs became a spiteful, hardhearted harpy.

[@milliewoo337]

In one respect that’s absolutely true. But the trauma incurred by the children from being separated from the person they’d known to be their mother since infancy would be terrible and may have stayed with them their entire lives. It could have had terrible consequences, addiction, behavioral problems, depression, cptsd, etc… they should’ve been awarded far more money for this catastrophe. It was ruinous and caused long-term damage to everyone’s health

[@Boss_Lady.325]

AGREED!!! They should have switched the boys back as soon as they found out. The boys would have never remembered because they were just 2 years old and the trauma and heartache to both Moms would have been avoided at least to some extent.

[@JohnDoe-td7mu]

​​@@milliewoo337oh stop it. These kids were 20 months old. While trauma at that age - particularly physical trauma - can have long lasting effects, the effects are - in the grand scheme of things - not significant, and more importantly, they would not have remembered a thing. Children regularly spend extended periods of time with people who are not their parents, whether due to injury, adoption, foster care, or otherwise. The vast majority of those children turn out just fine. Switching the children was by far the most rational decision to make, and I'm astounded that they chose otherwise.

[@TheMattTrakker]

@@milliewoo337 Should have watched the video

[@barnagotte7297]

@@JohnDoe-td7mu You don't appear to know ANYTHING about 20 months old, do you?

[@joy_is_purple]

I'm impressed with the accuracy of the geography! I've lived in Pietermaritzburg, Johannesburg, the East Rand and Pretoria. Hello from South Africa!

[@Throatzillaaa]

My friend's mother (Sharon) told me this could have almost happened to her. In February 1986, after she gave birth to my friend, the baby boy was whisked away to be cleaned up and such and when returned, the nurse handed her a different baby, with a much darker complexion. My friend's dad is black and has quite dark brown skin, and Sharon, his mom, is mixed, (Black and Native American) so she is a bit lighter in complexion but still has a good amount of melanin. When born, her baby (my friend) was pretty light, which isn't an uncommon occurrence from what I have seen, but for whatever reason, the nurse thought a different baby was hers. When she tried to hand the baby to Sharon, she immediately knew it wasn't the child she had just given birth to, and she said so. The issue was resolved very quickly, but it makes me wonder if this happens more than we realize. This truth in this story wouldn't have come out if Megs ex-partner had been willing to pay child support or if she hadn't gone to a lawyer when he denied her support.

[@oORiseAboveOo]

This is one reason why you shouldn’t let them remove your child from your room while you are in the hospital.

[@stst77]

Reading the comment section I’m surprised at reading how many people are saying it almost happened to them or someone they knew. You would think this would be a very rare occurrence but by the comments section it almost sounds common!

[@Boss_Lady.325]

What a total case of "YOU HAD ONE JOB!" on the nurse when the 2 boys were born. Sad.

[@ronald3836]

She knew it would one day make a great Dr Grande video.

[@Dan-oj4iq]

No mention of what happened to the nurse who made the switch.

[@traceymitchell6619]

This is unimaginable. I honestly don't think I could swap back if one of my kids turned out not to be mine, I loved them instantly. What a horrible situation.

[@davidhagler8475]

I feel really bad for Sandy. I hope both boys reach out to her and let her be a part of their life.

[@Katie-vy5rd]

That is a great idea!!!

[@ronald3836]

@@Katie-vy5rd Let's hope the two men watch this video and read the comments 🙂

[@richardpatrick2852]

If that is to happen , it most likely would have happened by now. This was late 80s, early 90s. Hopefully they did!

[@lizf1353]

I saw this documentary and what really bothers me is that after it came out (by the way she was still living when he was a young teen) it doesn't appear the hospital was held financially responsible for this horrible situation. The least that could have been done was assure these 2 children BOTH had financial security and access to good education and mental health professionals for life!

[@brianogrady9031]

Megs or Sandy is dead? The government or hospital paid for all their annual get togethers on top of their measly settlements. They received counseling, but I don’t know who paid for that. Maybe their universal health insurance did. Dr. Grande left that out about the trips being paid for.

[@rossugiarto4036]

This just happened in Indonesia. Two boys got switched at the hospital but thank to the persistent of one of the mother they're going to be switch back by the end of this month after the cross dna matching proved that both babies were switched at birth.

[@JohnDoe-td7mu]

I agree Dr. Grande. Its absolutely mind boggling that they made the decision to keep their respective kids. It was an absolutely shortsighted and selfish decision.

[@elizabethhamm5320]

One thing that I have learned is to let go of resentments. At one point in my life, I was jealous of people who had life easier than me. Now, I wouldn’t change my tough experiences. Not for anything

[@laurasutcliffe723]

The dry humor about the car trying to save itself from dying of cigarette smoke, so it crashed itself 😂 Thank you, Dr. Grande

[@rosewest5168]

For those interested they made 2 documentaries about this following the boys as they were growing up. Gavin seemed to be the one least effected by the situation having being brought up in a wealthy family and sent to private school. He was glad he had the life he did. Where as Robyn felt robbed that Gavin was living what should have been his life. All in all such a sad situation for both women and both boys. I honestly feel sorry for Sandy ...because of living in poverty she was judged and ultimately lost both of the children. Gavin didn't want a relationship with her. Meg wanted both boys and when Robyn went to live with her he didn't get on with being sent to a private school which caused tension. I wish they had made a 3rd documentary...I've often wondered how they all are now. Shameful amount of money that was awarded to the mother's in my opinion. I can't imagine having to decide whether to keep the child you love or swap for your biological child ...although given the ages of the boys it made more sense to swap back. Love is a tough thing. ❤

[@JE4-1]

I would love to see an interview with boys now and their viewpoints of the situation.

[@glauvie]

I’m sure it’s my 15 year old son’s fever dream that he has a rich biological mom somewhere who wants him.

[@asparaguspantry9718]

So youre saying youre poor and you dont want your son?

[@Bearwithme560]

I did, Lol!

[@Andreamom001]

Wait, are you saying he doesn’t have a biological mom who wants him? His biological mom doesn’t want him and he has to dream of having a mom who wants him?

[@melaniemarrone9521]

Kids are the worst between ages 13-19. I swear you will like him again around age 20!

[@MrDanny1145]

​@@Andreamom001that is not at all what she said or even implied. Learn to comprehend what you're reading before trying to be a smart aleck.

[@cassy420blaze]

3:48 😅😅😅😅 omg that was so funny when you said, "she was quite certain she was pregnant and delivered a child" LOL 🤣 As a mother myself, I can't imagine what the hell was going through her mind at the time...

[@debishaw9355]

This is the saddest thing ever! Thank you for covering this! I’ve never heard of it before!

[@MakerInMotion]

Never let your baby out of your sight at the hospital.

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

What an unbelievable case! I am so glad you shared your thoughts with us Dr. Grande, this was definitely an impossible situation. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday!❤

[@ceilconstante640]

I've wondered about the nurse that switched them. Was it an actual error or was there something wrong in her head. Seems impossible to make this mistake with only 2 babies. Even if they switched them as babies, there were different parenting styles and routines and they were actually strangers to their own mothers. If only there was a way for them to all live in a duplex and share parenting.

[@EXROBOWIDOW]

I was thinking that, too. Neither of the women had a great relationship with the men in their life. But knowing how hard it can be for two women to live together in a shared household, I suspect it would not work out. And one or both of them would have had to move away from their community, at a time when they most needed whatever community they had.

[@rtyria]

That would work only if they respected each other. Otherwise it would be open warfare 24/7.

[@dianecelento4974]

I also thought something like that would be best.

[@brianogrady9031]

⁠@@EXROBOWIDOWIt’s just as hard for two men to live in a house together as two women. It’s more about personality than the sex of a person for people to cohabitate.

[@stlounsbury]

Ok my solution. The two moms live together for 6 months and gradually switch the kids back. No shock, no trauma to anyone.

[@cadillacdeville5828]

GRADUALLY? How do you do that ?

[@stlounsbury]

@@cadillacdeville5828 Gradually.

[@mariatodd3132]

I appreciate this because it is posed as if there were only two choices and I don't think there were. You gave an example of something that may have been more of a happy medium. Another one I thought of is that they live much closer together-move into the same town, maybe the same neighborhood if they could mediate their incomes somehow, or in a joint house or townhome and have some kind of joint custody situation. Sure, that could get complicated, and the financial realities would be different. But this would eliminate almost all of the kids' trauma entirely if they could live with both moms.

[@anyways661]

"Of course there would be trauma, but they wouldn't remember it." Some part of a young child remembers, believe me.

[@barnagotte7297]

Right? This comment was ridiculous.

[@limiwa]

Yep. Just read "The Body Keeps the Score." We don't have to consciously remember things for them to have a lasting impact.

[@colleendelaney3259]

I was also very surprised at this comment by Dr. Grande. Although children so young might not have autobiographical memory, they most certainly have implicit memory, which is far more powerful. Being separated from their primary caregiver would have been very traumatic and had a lasting negative impact on the children's development unless it was done carefully. A gradual process of getting to know the birth mother and forming an attachment would be necessary. Attachment disorders underlie most of the serious problems in adulthood. That said, I agree that switching the children back would have been the best decision.

[@xHarlequin]

He meant they would never be able to recall it happening/visualize the actual event because they were under the age where memories form. But the effects of trauma would still be there. Dr. Grande spoke correctly.

[@colleendelaney3259]

Yes, if you are restricting your definition of memory to autobiographical memory. The implication is that the trauma would be less significant.

[@susanottewell6398]

How sad for the parent who didn't have enough financially but she obviously gave the ultimate gift of LOVE! I so feel for her. 😢😢😢

[@nicoleaz488]

Sounds like she was an awful drunk. Most likely held resentment as well

[@copic8241]

@@nicoleaz488 yeah what did she have to be sad about poor beeotch

[@netherfield2000]

There was a case in the 80s of 2 girls who were switched. One died from leukemia, I believe, and the birth parent wanted their bio daughter. It was made into a popular made for tv movie.

[@AlphaFemmeXtine]

I remember seeing that

[@Simply-Steph]

Kimberly Mays

[@skachor]

God that's twisted. Grief can really warp people's minds.

[@TheBOG3]

Arlena Twigg died from complications of her heart surgery. She was born with a defective heart.

[@camerokid78]

Also another case where one of the families died in a car crash. Callie Johnson and Rebecca Chitman.

[@jmsimcic]

Why did I watch this right before bed?! I’ll be mentally putting myself in this impossible position all night! Another great video, doc!

[@ahanadiri5330]

The fact that I can mouth every word of the intro/disclaimer is something I’m actually proud of.

[@MeMe-mt6xv]

Why is no one commenting on Megs saying, "I won!" That means that she was thinking of herself instead of the child(ren). That's the evil in this. Ego driven. Children are not commodities!!! As Dr. Grande stated, "If the parents had no pain." As a parent with shared custody, there is no win. The children suffer. And when one person is egocentric, it is a nightmare. And yes, the money takes it all in the end. Money allows for ease of stress on a single mom and the ability for vacations and thus memories. Children want to be loved and cared for, it takes money to provide security.

[@heatherlouise814]

this happened to my mom, with my brother. thankfully it was figured out after i think about 24 hrs. we grew up in a fairly remote, small city. my dad ended up running into a random guy hunting and they were telling stories and the guy told the story of his son being switched at birth.and it ended up being the father of the other boy. that being said i grew up knowing the other kid, and would see him around frequently, my mom said she knew right away when they handed her the kid that it looked different, but never assumed it wasnt her child. it was her first kid so she was maybe a little out of sorts. our family looks completely different from theirs tho...unlike the people in this story.

[@Steve_jones113]

Dr Grande you must spend so much time studying these events, thank you for that.

[@alyross3081]

As a mother, I think whatever is best for the kids is the best decision. The mom has pain any way you look at it. And you have to put the kids first. Having said that, I understand why the decision wasn’t clear. Babies and moms bond right away. I have known several adopted children who struggle horribly with attachment issues. This could be because the child wasn’t given any love as a orphan. This one is really tough. Was Sandy such a bad mom, or was Robin just jealous of the money he missed out on? What a mess. I wish the best for all of them.

[@perfectpeace352]

A child is always connected to their biological family. If someone else was living the life meant for them and had the affection of the mother they were supposed to have while they suffered anyone would feel resentment.

[@idorus]

@@perfectpeace352 if that was the truth then the other child would've gone back to Sandy.

[@SamixJapan]

Robin's feeling was valid, even if it's a jealous that was his right.. you can see that he suffered the most .. that two mom was unbelievable they don't have a mother love for they own child with their own blood 😢

[@Channel24377]

@@SamixJapanI hated Gavin cuz he was entitled to a life that didn’t belong to him and said he didn’t even feel bad for Robyn

[@SamixJapan]

@ Ikr, he was like his real mother they both an evil selfish..Robin deserves to be happy without his real mom, God bless him always❤️

[@kathystclair9485]

I was born in 1956. At that time security was probably not the best. My mother shared a room with another woman who had given birth to a baby just an hour apart from me. Back then they would give the mother Ether which knocked them out during labor and delivery. When the baby and I were brought into the room with our mothers to be held, we each were brought to the wrong mother by the nurse. The only thing that kept us from being switched is the fact that my mother remembered she was told she had a girl after she came to from the Ethier. The other baby was a boy. Actually we went to every school together from grade school through high school. Though the outcome could have been very different, he and I are still friends. So, mistakes like this happen, but with very difficult consequences.

[@aldostefanini1392]

This is a difficult case Dr Grande. I agree with your solution Thanks for this story. Greetings from South Africa

[@hillbillyscholar8126]

I think this happens more often than we will ever know.

[@Andreamom001]

Another reason for home birth! I know my son is my son.

[@Black_Samurai-fish]

@@Andreamom001love home births. I’ve got 6 kids and 4 home births. But when I did have hospital births I never let them leave the room.

[@christyb2912]

But with all the DNA testings we might find out

[@agees924]

Take it as a lesson, never give birth as hospitals. Lord knows what they do if you fall asleep or go unconscious. A hospital literally decapitated a baby recently and tried to hide it from the mom. Imagine what other shit they do.

[@theskyizblue2day431]

@@Andreamom001but does his dad know if the child is his? 🤔

[@AxelordSMIJES]

Makes me wonder if there was ever a possibility of the two mothers and boys trying to come up with some sort of co-parenting situation wherein the boys lived together with both moms, or even alternating between the two, at least temporarily. I'm willing to bet that one mother being substantially better off financially than the other possibly had something to do with it. Greed can be a hell of a motivator. Especially when your thinking is distorted to the point where you see your bad behavior as justified and/or necessary. Great vid, Doc. As always!

[@linzidevon19]

I wonder if things would have been different if both mums were financially equal

[@Anna-cx4tg]

It seems there was a lot of malice from the rich mother and that was the problem,not the difference in the financial situation. If she didn't have more money, she would've used some other way to "win"

[@linzidevon19]

@@Anna-cx4tg hmmm i would have to disagree. I think money was a huge factor for both boys in the end which made me feel very sorry for sandy but I did read elsewhere that she was not a good mother. What an awful situation for them all though

[@brianogrady9031]

Megs was more maternal than Sandy, I think. I think Robin really craved that and figured she is his biological mother, so why not go live with her at 15. Gavin and Sandy never bonded, I think that’s why he didn’t want anything to do with her. Robin may have given them the lowdown on Sandy which would make Gavin not want anything to do with her either. Maybe Robin told Gavin that Sandy’s homophobic or something. Gavin came out as gay. Megs was accepting of that but maybe he thought Sandy wouldn’t be.

[@wannaim6958]

@@brianogrady9031 Nah. Gavin was all about living in a comfortable life. I just saw in other channel that posted a clip when he was being interviewed, asked about the way he felt knowing that Robin is living in a poor condition. He casually said he didn't care much, no feeling. Lol.

[@zenawarrior7442]

I agree they should have switched back. They both seem to be worried more about their feelings vs the boys. Great points again. Thanks Dr G😊💜💜

[@ronald3836]

I prefer the King Solomon solution.

[@angelagenecki8602]

@@ronald3836This is not an example of the decision that King Solomon had made. The only thing in common is, two boys. The Bible story is about two women (harlots) who lived together, and both had an infant son. One of the women killed her son by smothering him because she fell asleep on him. She then took her dead son and switched her dead son with the live son of the other woman in the house. The woman of the live son knew what that other woman did therefore she went before King Solomon with her grievance. Read it yourself 1 Kings 3:16-28

[@michaeljordan317]

Great coverage! Such an interesting case. Was the nurse reprimanded for the big mistake!??

[@tdoran]

My favorite story about my mom's husband is he is Puerto Rican - they go there every year a few times. One day they were walking down the street of his small town and she saw a man walking down the street. She said to him - "That man could be your brother!" He said matter-of-factly, "Oh, he is." She was like, whaaaa? Evidently, when one of his brothers was born, the babies got switched. When the hospital ppl found out, they told them and went to switch them back. BOTH the women said, "Nah, I like this baby, I'm keeping him." And that was that!

[@brianogrady9031]

He’s your mom’s husband but not your stepfather?

[@tdoran]

@@brianogrady9031It's hard to think of him that way; it's her 4th marriage, I'm 61, and he's only 5 years older than me LOL

[@maureeningleston1501]

Always appreciate your daily videos Dr Grande.👍

[@MEL2theJ]

Wow! What a story. Thank you again Dr. Grande

[@hilriekemp]

I'm not going to lie I'd be mad asf too if I was Robin. Waking up every morning like why am I poor, like Gavin's literally living my best life lol

[@bleedingberryjuice]

I would have too 😭 everyone is acting like he's a bad person for feeling that way but imo if you can't support a child don't have one otherwise they will eventually resent you for being poor, shrimple as. I'm glad Robin got to reclaim some of what was rightfully his and I don't blame Gavin for not wanting anything to do with his biological mother

[@helenmcdonnell2585]

@bleedingberryjuice Wow, many folk grew up poor and loved their parents.

[@hilriekemp]

@@helenmcdonnell2585 yeah because they don't have choice, that man had options lol. Hell Gavin didn't even want to go vist that environment

[@TheMattTrakker]

@@bleedingberryjuice She was apparently also pregnant again, so it'd be supporting 2 children.

[@bleedingberryjuice]

@@helenmcdonnell2585 Not me

[@LiseWrigley]

I agree with you re the best decision. So very sad. My son was also born in 1989. And he was switched briefly. But I noticed right away. Someone had reversed the bassinets in the nursery and the wrong child was brought to me. Interestingly, the same thing happened to my mother. She had a son for about 5 minutes. These things do happen and when not corrected right away can be devastating. Sending a big hug to all four of them, but especially Sandy. I am so sorry this happened to you.

[@joshparrott8841]

Which one would cut the boy in half?

[@antonioforestgardens697]

King Solomon...

[@dlc5166]

Wasn't that situation different and about one stolen baby and the question asked so the birth mother could be found out? Both of these ladies gave birth to living children in this case.

[@mzliberty7647]

a thoughtful analysis, Dr Grande shows genuine compassion for these ppl. very nicely done Sir.

[@Meela234]

I was sitting in a chair with a view to the hospital hallway as a nurse was making my bed the morning after I gave birth. I saw a nurse wheeling my baby past my room, so I yelled "that's my baby!". She backed up, looked at his bracelet and said "yes he is". I always wondered where she would have taken him. Get a good look at your baby after birth and keep close track of them. I think the baby tracking systems these days are better than 30 years ago, but you never know.

[@Nan-Elle]

I had a similar experience in 1975. I had a blonde 2 year old boy at home, and gave birth to my much-wanted dark haired daughter. The handful of mothers were invited to sit in the "rocking room" daily to feed the babies. We sat in rocking chairs, (at Sturdy Memorial Hospital in Attleboro, MA) and the nurse would come and hand the babies to us, then return and bring them back to the nursery. On the first day I noticed a woman near me had a little blonde girl, and I noticed that she resembled my little son at home, quite a bit. We spoke about that, and thankfully we BOTH compared the looks of our babies as we fed them. The next day, the nurse came into the room with my dark haired daughter and walked right over to the other mother. As she passed by me, I noticed the swirl of my daughter's hair and said "That's MY baby!" The nurse asked the other mom to read off the numbers on her wristband (which did NOT match the baby's). When she read it off, the nurse silently turned and took off to the nursery with my baby. When she returned with the appropriate baby for the other mom, I said "You were trying to give MY baby to her!" She said "No, we don't make mistakes like that here." She then went and got my baby and handed her to me, after we compared wrist band numbers. I quickly told the story to my pediatrician, who believed me, and who then ordered my baby to be put in an isolette, making sure she was separated from the others. Of course, they compared wrist bands, so it would have been found out eventually. However, in the meantime, my relatives came the first night and Oood and Awwwd over my daughter through the nursery window. The next night, unbeknownst to me, the switch had taken place, and they viewed the wrong baby in the little plastic bed with MY last name taped on it... and came to my room to say how different she looked. I should have gotten up out of my bed and accompanied them down the hallway to the nursery window; but I didn't. I actually thought my sister-in-law was a little odd, thinking my baby's looks had "changed" a lot in one day. Anyhow, thankfully I came home with my real daughter.

[@TheLights045]

I just gave birth three months ago in PA. The babies are instantly given an ankle monitor of sorts. Funny enough, our room was the closest to the end of the hall and exit door. My husband was pacing around the room with our son not an hour after he was born and walked too close to the door (still inside our room) and apparently set off the ankle tag. Sirens went off and everything. It sparked a huge panic with nurses and guards bursting in to see where the baby was and guards were sent throughout the building to look for a snatched newborn. So good to know the system works!

[@EXROBOWIDOW]

@@TheLights045 Wow! I know hospitals are being more careful about everything these days. But I bet that was disconcerting to have all that commotion.

[@dinkster1729]

Babies got name tags 74 years ago. I remember my sister's name tag which was made of small beads with her family name on it was not taken off when she left the hospital. My mother had those little glass beads spelling our name in a bottle for years. It was a keepsake of my sister's birth, I guess. I'm sure I clipped off the plastic name tag on my babies when I got them home and not before. What was going on in South Africa? Tags here are put on in the delivery room before the baby leaves it.

[@o0o-jd-o0o95]

this is such a terrible situation. I do not know how anyone could get through such a thing. i agree with Dr. Grande. his analysis was quite fair

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

I remember this documentary. I saw it on a 60min Australia video on YT I think. Currently watching Switched at Birth and honestly I can't imagine what these families had to go through. The confusion of not only the parents but the kids, the what ifs that must've gone through the kids' minds 😟😟

[@lindacampbell5675]

This very same scenario took place years ago in my small town. The mothers switched their children back after the mistake was discovered about 18 months later.

[@brianogrady9031]

Where at? When?

[@sandrah5405]

This happened in New Zealand in 1990, also after a paternity test. However I believe the children were around 4-5 years old before it was discovered. In that case they decided to keep the children they were sent home with but both families kept in close contact for a while. I don't know what the situation is now, I would love to hear more now that they are in their early 30's.

[@pistashleyo5897]

Leaving my opinion while watching the intro of the video... solution would to be to buy a property somewhere agreed upon and be one big family, letting each of them to get to know another safely.

[@Kyotopearl]

I am really bad at remembering faces so when I had my first child I kept scanning her face and trying to remember every little detail so I could tell if I was brought the wrong baby. ( phones weren’t that good at photos yet) ALSO. I’m half black and half Asian and my husband passes for white. The baby favored looking Asian at the time plus didn’t have my melanin. The staff kept stepping in with her and then backing out of my room thinking it was a mistake. So I started keeping the baby in my room no matter what only taking micro naps, scared they were going to give my baby away to someone else.

[@dinkster1729]

Didn't the baby have a name tag? Babies in Ontario get a name tag before they leave the delivery room. No chance of a mix up.

[@Xianne027]

I would be interested to hear from more nurses on what factors they think could have led to the mix up. Aren't babies normally identified with bracelets?

[@rullvox5912]

Sued the government? The moms should have sued the hospital for as much money as they could get.

[@eileenalholinna5310]

I cannot imagine facing a situation like this!! So incredible. How awful!!

[@AMM3.]

In a perfect world the families would have switched them back but remained very close so they could be involved in the other child's life.

[@jacksonmeadows2904]

One of my favorite channels! Possibly the saddest story of all the subjects you’ve covered. So torn I am!

[@loiskondo8349]

What a horrible choice to have to make! I would have wanted to switch to my biological child. At least they could keep contact with each other. Thank you for this thought provoking video Dr. Grande!

[@crowmedicine3890]

We all think that, I think that too, but imagine having bonded with that child from minute one. That IS your child. This sounds torturous.

[@Nylak-Otter]

​@@crowmedicine3890Yeah, I immediately was thinking, "I hope they don't want him back; he's mine now!" But I don't care much about biology. I'm unable to have my own kids because I'm a transplant recipient, so I've always been fine with adopting. All my animals had owners before me, and I love them just the same.

[@thecatatemyhomework]

It's easy to say you would want the child switched back. You're not saying anything about the child that you had in your life since birth. Think back to one of your biological children and imagine at age 2 giving up that child. An impossible decision.

[@crowmedicine3890]

@@thecatatemyhomework I feel like you would have to pry him from my cold, dead arms. When I think back to my babies that's what I think.

[@Tamara-id1pe]

@@crowmedicine3890but it isn’t your child. Your bond is based partly on believing that you created and gave birth to this child. Caring for a child that isn’t yours isn’t the same thing

[@sarat6723]

Thank you Doctor, for the information and your voice is kind ,soft , even . I like the way you tell your stories. I’m glad some one like you doing documentaries. Who put harmony in his words. Good luck. Horrible experience. As a mom to experience a mistake of hospital. Unfortunately there are unreliable staff everywhere, that’s why as a human being we have responsibilities much beyond the job we do - each of us have a choice to dabble check and put little care in to our daily routine. When someone is dealing with newborns 😢😢😢😢how could be so cruel to not check every corner. Please keep doing your videos. 🙏🙏🙏🍀☘️🌿🌱🌵

[@sunnycatc6491]

I wish I was switched at birth😂 ...ok thank you Dr. Grande, have a great weekend, stay away from the Garden State 😱

[@ronald3836]

Maybe you were switched but were the unlucky one?

[@sunnycatc6491]

@ronald3836 could be...but I'm a better person for it 😊

[@stst77]

I wouldn’t have minded getting a different mom either. However, we never know it could always be worse even much worse. And like you i can see the positive side of being in a dysfunctional home. I don’t wish it on anybody but i would not trade what i got out of it with anyone either. By being in a dysfunctional home and feeling unloved, i found God who became everything to me. I clung to Him to get through those years and He was good to me. If i had not gone through what I did, i doubt I ever would have turned to God or appreciated Him like I do today. So it was worth it to me!

[@sunnycatc6491]

@@stst77 totally agree!

[@mario-qi3yw]

I can’t imagine how difficult this would be for everyone concerned. Thank you Dr Grande

[@Floppyearsmomma]

I can't believe the hospital got away with so little monetary ramifications! Given the money she deserved, which should have been a million plus, Sandy would have been able to provide the lifestyle and financial stability Robin deserved. How awful!

[@uralbob1]

Wow! What an interesting story! Thanks Dr. Grande.

[@mrparlanejxtra]

They both rolled the dice on an agreement. An agreement is an agreement is an agreement and must be honoured. If one mother loses the trust of her adopted boy then she must live with it. They should not have been put in that position. The state should have paid equal compensation and ordered the return of the children. Then they should have gone their separate ways. It is fortuitious that the children were both healthy.

[@sagisli]

Excellent analysis Dr Grande, the switch should have occurred as soon as they became aware of it.

[@Katie-vy5rd]

I feel badly for a lot of people who get their stories told and they rarely get retold with the real or true complexities of the family or relationships, dynamics. Many stories are oversimplified and im sure thee stoues themselves serve to retraumatize or hurt feelings. I hope they are all doing well and have a sense of peace and happiness.😊

[@sophiaisabelle027]

We appreciate your insights as always, Dr Grande. Keep working hard as always.

[@aurorincorporated]

Dr Grande time, whohoo! Keep going, Sir, we adore You. :)

[@globes179]

Great video - this is the kind of thing I love hearing Dr. G talk about.

[@Inuus]

Obviously, switching could be the best decision for the children. I'm sure, if these women were married at that time, the outcome might be different. The right one.

[@Auroradiluculum]

Oh my goodness 😳. ---thanks Dr. Grande. I also think it would have been better to switch them back.

[@IMadeThis123]

Reflecting on the biblical story, where King Solomon decided to “split the baby,” when suddenly the real mother stepped up to say “No! Let her have my baby,” it seems that neither of the women cared more about the babies than they did themselves. Had the babies been returned to the biological mothers, the only one who would suffer was the mother. But because they selfishly kept the babies they had in order to avoid their own trauma, they inflicted trauma on the children as well, I.e., they “cut their babies in half“ to soothe themselves. 😢

[@helenmcdonnell2585]

I agree totally

[@icturner23]

Thanks for covering this case, which I’ve covered for many years. They didn’t only have those two options, though. Megs, being from a rich background even if she’d been in a financially more restricted period, should have paid for Sandy to live nearby or, better, for them both to move to a different, neutral city together. They could have both spent time with both boys every day, i.e. co-parented. What would likely have happened is that they’d’ve got closer and closer to their biological sons and ended up being their primary caregiver. I’m adopted, with no trauma but I do have to say that younger children essentially bond by proximity. Adopted babies bond with their parents and everyone is just friends with whichever kids live nearby. As you get older, it gets more complicated. Non-adopted adults tend to get closer and closer to the families automatically. Adoptees need to continually make an effort. If children can safely be with their biological families it’s generally easier.

[@TheMattTrakker]

Really easy to spend other people's money.

[@Wazupu]

What for? None of the children wanted her. Quite sad.

[@floridagirl386]

Non adopted adults tend to get closer to what families? & adoptees need to continuously make an effort for what? That is confusing me sorry

[@ceciliachavez144]

Why didn’t they just switch kids? 😖 The kids would have forgotten and they could have just kept in contact and become like an auntie to them

[@fishincognito]

I thought the first part of life was vital in forming healthy attachments. Would switching the primary caregiver at that age not have an impact on the babies?

[@ChristinaTodd1970]

I would like to know the answer to this question too. I thought the same thing

[@stst77]

I believe it would have had an impact but less of an impact than not switching them. Even babies who are adopted immediately after birth never even held by the birth mom, it has an impact on these kids because bonding begins in the womb. But i think returning the babies, they babies would have instinctively felt a connection to the birth mom that would have helped heal the separation wound. Anyway the babies whether returned or not some damage was done.

[@Stargazergirl104]

This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this story. How sad 😢 they should’ve gotten a huge settlement. This was life altering.

[@roxyagogo0810]

Watched the footage of a similar case from Moldova. Both kids ended up living with the same couple with more financial stability, while the other family was just a single mom living hand to mouth. The problem is the non-related kid started feeling like a third wheel and exhibiting problematic behaviors after the biological kid moved in. What a tragedy for everyone involved in it.

[@Owlandpie]

"best solution would have been to switch them back" maybe easier said than done when you're not one of the mother having to make that absolute heart wrenching decision.

[@vinidelucci6192]

In May 1949 in a hospital in Brooklyn New York I was mixed up with another baby. The mother I was given to, began to feed me without noticing. When the other baby was given to my mother, she shouted "this is not MY baby". The babies where quickly returned to the correct mothers. I was a difficult child, so all through my childhood whenever my mother was angry with me, she would say" you're not MY baby you're Marion Johnson's baby". It's funny now (I'm 75) but I think that was a terrible thing to say to a child. My father was very abusive, and I often wonder how different my life might have been had the mix-up not been corrected. But on the other hand, I wouldn't have wished him on anyone else either.

[@WinfreyWright]

A very similar thing happened to me in 1960. As I was growing up, whenever I misbehaved my parents would say "we brought the wrong baby home from the hospital." It was a long standing joke but I heard it so often I doubted my actual parentage for many years. Then puberty hit and I looked exactly like my parents.

[@mrparlanejxtra]

Nobody properly considered the nature side of the dilemma. Decisions were based on nurture and consideration was not given to the inherited behavioural genetics of these children having personalities similar to their biological parents.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Fascinating case, thank you very much. 🌺🌺

[@Veromoi4]

This is so heart wrenching! I cannot even fathom 😢. These poor women with such a dilemma to face. I really don’t know what I would do. how do you know what to do?

[@RuffRuff123]

That nurse hospital is accountable and should be sued for the mistake. If this were to happen to me I would want my own birth baby back. Dr Grande, you analyze the most interesting stories. And your conclusive decisions are spot on.

[@rullvox5912]

I've never heard of this case before, and it is very disturbing, on many levels.

[@cherylhaskell9830]

Thank you for presenting most unique post and insight.