Ultimate Iron Man #1-2 - Atop the Fourth Wall

Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. In this Patreon-sponsored episode, Linkara looks at the first two issues of Ultimate Iron Man!
atopthefourthwall.com
Originally released September 11th, 2017.
ORIGINAL INFO: Yo listen up, here’s the story about an Iron Man who lives in a blue world…

[@ElvenRaptor]

This is awfully convoluted for being the lead-up to a story about a guy who wears a robotic suit of armor to fight crime.

[@walkingcubkid]

Exactly.

[@dontemorgan1517]

Absolutely. These two comics have nothing to do with Ultimate Iron Man. It's soo bad that they retcon this origin.

[@Macrochenia]

It's because it's got OSC for the author. It's how he makes protagonists: he's got to make an elaborate backstory of how they're so special that even their conception was a miraculous event. It's due to Card being a Mormon: every protagonist he writes is basically a retelling of the mythology Joseph Smith wrote about himself.

[@CthulhuianBunny]

This feels like the most needlessly complicated super hero comic that _wasn't_ written during the Golden and Silver ages.

[@vadimtrochinsky2078]

This is the weirdest origin for Ironman ever. Why does a regenerating guy with armored skin need metal armor? It's like Card wanted to make his Tony Stark into the person that least needed to become Ironman

[@leotamer5]

The idea is that he has a lot of nerve tissue across his body that makes his body super-senstive, the dust in the air hurts him. And well, like I said earlier, it got retconned aways.

[@vadimtrochinsky2078]

leotamer5 Yes, but he already has that blue armored coating that solves the sensitivity problem. Ironman is supposed to be *iron*. This guy is Blue Bacteriaman. All this incarnation needs at this point is guns and a jetpack. It all strikes me as very weird. He eventually develops a traditional looking power armor, but then what was the point in developing this bacteria suit plot? The series itself seems to retcon the bacteria a few chapters in by first making them transparent and then introducing the power armor. My best guess is that either Card had a different story he wanted to tell, so he shoehorned it into this, or he deviated too much from the usual depiction and somebody eventually told him to get the plot back to a more expected direction.

[@danielbrant6740]

Two major observations I had: 1. If Loni knew that Howard _never_ patents anything, why did she not bother to tell Stane until after she marries him? 2. If this blue bio-armour can make you nigh-invulnerable, did we just witness the secret origins of The Tick?

[@dylangrizzle]

1. Then there would have been little value in marrying her for controlling stock and she probably knew this. 2. We wish lol

[@SydneySutterKolinkBattler]

Ultimate Tick is less funny than I hoped it would be.

[@jordanloux3883]

I ain't saying she's a gold digger...

[@ilopominecrafter]

Here’s my question: has water never touched tony in 4 years?! No shower or nothing? The armor comes right off when they wash it as if it had just been applied

[@calvinallen3424]

@@ilopominecrafter The armor covers his body and eats his skin. So no need to shower

[@chrissysky01]

Me: Well at least it's not Miller. Linkara: Orson Scott Card! Me: ... [goes to get liquor]

[@Kirkklan]

chrissysky01 (...Jack Daniels?)

[@FNGLHR]

Don't be stupid... Jagermeister.

[@asalways1504]

Good old fashioned vodka.

[@ZoanBlade90]

chrissysky01 I would rather read Mark Millar's recent work then this.

[@lloydlandrum3040]

ZoanBlade90 I'm not sure if I'd rather Millers insanity driven ASBAR or this. I mean ASBAR atleast you can see it as some dark screwed up parody thing, while this was so bad it was later part as stated a in-universe fictional show when it got retconned .

[@dylansader8760]

I think this was my first comic introduction to iron man. And I wondered why I never picked up any more iron man comics or why I thought iron man was stupid until the movie came out. Thank you Robert downy

[@requiem4ameme2]

Dylan Sader That's pretty funny. Were you really confused at first when you saw the original origin? "Wait, he just made the suit in a cave? Where's the smurf bacteria armor? Where's the monkey blood?"

[@ironm7386]

Blue Laser that how I feel when I read this book and saw the movie

[@3SCAPER00M13]

So was mine, I found the third or fourth issue in my dad's closet when I was about four or five.

[@Double-R-Nothing]

Jr

[@legomaniac213]

I think Orson Scott Card thought that when Ultimate Nick Fury called Tony a "double-brained freak of nature", he was being literal.

[@Insane-Howl-Cowl]

Ultimate Iron Man seems more like an X-Men character.

[@EkoBahamut]

Jeremy Moore reminds me of an X-MEN character, whose skin was so sensitive, that he needed a full body suit to keep himself from harm, and without it, a blade of grass broke his jaw 😋

[@Insane-Howl-Cowl]

Grass broke Tony's jaw? This origin seems more like a super-villain origin from the old monster comic stories. ::Ominous narrator's voice:: Born with brain cells all over his body, and with only blue skin armor to keep the constant pain he is in at bay, Antonio Stark lives away from the world of men. When he does venture forth it is in a suit of armor, more futuristic than anything man knows! He is THE IRON MAN!

[@2wingo]

I remember that character; he was originally named Orphan and is now called Mister Sensitive.

[@RabblesTheBinx]

@@2wingo actually, he was originally called Mister Sensitive, but he hated that name and started going by "the Orphan"... then changed his codename back to the one he dislikes, for some reason...

[@3SCAPER00M13]

@@EkoBahamut You mean that guy from X-Statix? That was a good comic, I like Peter Milligan. You've ever read his run on Shade the Changing Man? It's one of the best 90's comics ever in my book.

[@TerLoki]

Y'know, I've read some of Ultimate Iron Man, so I was hoping to get at least some answer to a question I've always had about that series. Nope! There is still absolutely no connection my brain can draw between "Tony Stark has to be constantly covered with metal-eating bacteria armor" and "Tony Stark makes super robot suit which he then proceeds to wear". HOW DO WE GET FROM POINT A TO POINT B WHEN THE VALLES MARINERIS IS BETWEEN THEM!?

[@BrightSpark]

I don't mind them trying to make Iron Man a completely different character, but frankly this almost feels like this was pitched as an original character that had *similiarities* to Iron Man, and someone at Marvel said "Okay, rename a few characters, slap Iron Man on it and done! We got our new Iron Man!" To me, Iron Man just felt... different, because Tony is just a normal guy at the end of the day. ...with higher-than-average intelligence and millions of dollars, admittedly, but he was still very much a normal human without super powers of his own, so in my mind that made him more plausible than other super heroes - even if we may not necessarily have Arc Reactors or Repulsors. But we very much have the technology to build (bulkier) armor that enhances a normal person's strength, which is what the Iron Man armor is at the end of the day: An exoskeleton combined with a suit of armor and some gadgets and gizmos. But what I am saying is that Tony being a hyperintelligent mutant with brain cells for flesh and Plasti Dip armor that makes him invulnerable to anything but bullets just takes away from him in my opinion because it makes him too inimitable, while the "normal" Iron Men are probably plausible with sufficiently advanced tech. Heck, I dare to say that we could build a fully-working MkI/Iron Monger right now!

[@Popcultureguy3000]

Bright Spark This is why the entire Orson Scott Card written origin stories were retconned out as licensed media made by the Ultimate Stark corporation in Mark Millar's Ultimate Avengers vs. New Ultimates.

[@jadenbryant9283]

@@Popcultureguy3000 oh thank gosh what's Tony actual origin in the ultimate universe

[@Popcultureguy3000]

@@jadenbryant9283 -\(•_•)/- Beats the heck outta me.

[@jadenbryant9283]

@@Popcultureguy3000 I know he has cancer and he wanted to use his last remaing days to do some good in the world but is there any other stuff aside from that

[@Bussani]

Star Trek is definitely on the soft end of the science fiction hardness scale, but it still manages to be *good* science fiction all the same. I think some people confuse "hard" with "good" and "soft" with "bad".

[@henrygvidonas9573]

It's "spacemagic fiction", really. The "science" part of science fiction in "Star Wars" is nonexistent to me because nothing of it makes sense. Not to mention that the entire galaxy in "Star Wars" is basically the equivalent of a small English county with a couple of villages and a small city or two.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

@@henrygvidonas9573 1. Congratulations on apparently confusing Star Trek and Star Wars (which George Lucas has always insisted is properly classified as "Space opera" anyway, since it's more of an opera epic with a space setting and embraces the supernatural), since both the OP and the Orson Scott Card quote Linkara was making fun of were talking about Star TREK. 2. Why doesn't any of it make sense? Because the movies don't pause the narrative to infodump-lecture about how the technology works? 3. No, it isn't. It reeeeeally isn't. We just only see a relative handful of that galaxy's inhabited planets (one of which, Coruscant, makes your statement all the more laughable) in the movies, because *they're narrative movies, not a documentary series about the galaxy*

[@andremarques4863]

No cannibalism, but there WAS accidental ingestion of monkey blood. Keep it classy, Ultimate Universe.

[@dreamlandnightmare]

This is like a "Just Imagine" Stan Lee story if Iron Man originally had been a DC character.

[@NoahDaArk]

“He also said Star Trek is bad science fiction* *checks the list for the worlds most dangerous men* Why the hell is this guy not on it !?!

[@GatorRay]

Here's my big question. Is Alan Moore on that list?

[@NoahDaArk]

@@GatorRay No, but Randy Pitchford sure is

[@GatorRay]

@@NoahDaArk Go figure. Considering I heard he used money meant for Aliens: Colonial Marines to make Borderlands 2.

[@NoahDaArk]

@@GatorRay He’s also squandering the Duke Nukem license like an asshole. Dude is an idiot who thinks he’s cooler then he is

[@GatorRay]

@@NoahDaArk Agreed

[@partickstwart5978]

The Ultimate Universe is weird in how it tells its stories. Like, Brian Michael Bendis did a great job a decompressed story-telling in Ultimate Spider-Man, so for some reason EVERY Ultimate book had to have similar decompressed story-telling, even though these are all different titles with different writers, not all of which are known for writing that way, so you would think they would try and differentiate them a bit more. Hell, Bendis even changes that up a little for his other titles outside of Ultimate Spider-Man.

[@louisduarte8763]

And then that kind of writing spread to infect the main Marvel U.

[@bogger3k]

Should probably also mention that there are no nerve ending in your brain. So she wouldn't feel pain, but have other effects to things like her motor skills, ability to think, focus, listen...

[@Insane-Howl-Cowl]

What was that Linkara said "good science in your science fiction story, Orson!" lol

[@BLasherman]

This isn't quite true, there is a breed of dogs that have a similar issue, brain being to big for their skull now due to stupid pure breeding practice and the pain for them drives them crazy. cavalierhealth.org/syringomyelia.htm

[@Erika-gn1tv]

Shouldn't other things inside your skull have pain receptors? Stuff the brain presses against.

[@leotamer5]

Having an enlarged brain is actually a medical condition, and I am pretty sure it does hurt. I am pretty sure it is the skull and surrounding tissue that picks up the pain.

[@keloid123]

there is a species of worm that eat people brain. I shit you not this shit exist. the people infected feel pain

[@fjardim14]

The brain itself FEELS NO PAIN. It doesnt have that kind of receptor. The membranes surrounding it are richly innervated, and THEY are what hurts. So having extra brain matter around your body? Would not hurt at all in itself. Great Sci-fi, Orson!

[@somedudewatchintv5297]

"normally since this is a trade I would ignore the cover" this is becoming less and less true as time goes on.

[@tobiasbanks3743]

It doesn't even make sense! Trades have the covers inside...

[@troin3925]

He even looked at the second issue's cover after the credits anyway.

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

Somedude Watchintv Oh Boy! Atop the Fourth Wall! This Episode even has my favorite recurring joke in it...! "Normally since this is a Trade, I would ignore the cover..." _PFFFFFFTTT-_*_HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA-!!!!_*

[@Kurotaisa]

It never was true lol

[@breawycker]

I remember him saying that the reason he does it is because you can't see a trade's cover on the shelf so it does have the same influence as a individual book which makes sense usually I'm buying a trade because I like the character but the books are usually originally printed as a comic book

[@andreayton1586]

You know what's funny? Technically this isn't even canon anymore, according to an issue of Ultimates (I could be wrong, could be some other ultimate comic) the Ultimate Iron Man books were retconned into a tv show for the Ultimate universe, with Rhodes playing himself

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

Linkara actually covers that near the end.

[@rorylumley4727]

yeah i do wonder if ultimate iron man flip floping between 2 different orgins is part of the confusing continuity that lead to ultimatium.

[@devlinburgess2463]

"That makes you a snake, and me....another snake." Together, we're the Tunnel Snakes! And we rule!

[@Mask0fFate]

One issue of Ultimate Marvel Team-Up pretty much said that Ultimate Iron Man’s origin is pretty similar to the mainstream universe. He was on a plane with his brother, it was taken down by terrorists, they kidnapped the Starks and the passengers, threatened Tony to make them a weapon, killed his brother, and thus Tony created the first Iron Man technology to incapacitate the terrorists and free himself and the prisoners. Also he has a brain tumor instead of shrapnel in his heart.

[@PlanetZoidstar]

Maybe the "Welcome to Hell" line is a reference to when Ray Palmer said "Welcome to Pain" before torturing a guy in Cry for Justice.

[@professorBofFPU]

I refuse to believe the Ultimate Universe was ever considered to be the "more mature" marvel Universe.

[@3SCAPER00M13]

Well, there was MAX Comics.

[@TF2Fan101]

Depends on your definition of mature. My least favorite definition is ‘Needless gratuitous graphic violence, swearing, and sex.’. It’s why I refuse to watch HBO Max’s Titans series, because the idea that ANYONE would write a scene where Dick Grayson snaps a criminal’s neck and growls ‘F Batman.’ is infuriating to me as a fan who watched the DCAU and Teen Titans versions of the character.

[@3SCAPER00M13]

@@TF2Fan101 I view maturity as simply the theming and subject matter and how it is handled.

[@dreamlandnightmare]

@@3SCAPER00M13 Exactly. While the "Ultimate" universe may have plenty of graphic violence/gore, sex, adult language, and other "edgy" elements, its stories and characterizations are silly and juvenile enough to be out of the silver age. The original Watchmen and Sandman are examples of legitimately "mature" comics. The adult element aren't there to say, "LOOK HOW EDGY AND ADULT THIS COMIC IS!" Rather, they serve the actually mature themes and characterizations of the story. The "Ultimate" universe is like something a 12-year-old would write, thinking he's all grown-up and mature.

[@3SCAPER00M13]

@@dreamlandnightmare Yeah, the writers seem more childish than adult which is the perfect comedy material if you ask me.

[@davidreeder43]

Wow, you can really tell this was written by Orson Scott Card. The "ever growing brain" disease is taken straight from Ender's Shadow. If anyone else wrote this, I'd call rip off. Still, Card must have a giant brain fetish. Guy probably looks at The Leader from The Hulk and gets a chub.

[@dprototype6431]

Card is probably MatPat’s biggest fan.

[@spookyrosev6467]

Well that’d certainly explain his homophobia if Haggard’s Law is to be believed

[@GatorRay]

@@dprototype6431 Aw yes. The man that at this point I WANT to see get a C&D from Nintendo so that his madness can come to an end.

[@MsPageMistress]

Does he also think we only use 10% of our brain?

[@katrinahood]

Wait, Orson Scott Card is homophobic? Well, many creators of highly praised works did--in some cases, do--hold some bigoted views and--wait a minute, he also said that Star Trek is bad science fiction? That bastard!! I'll never be able to enjoy any of his work now!!

[@eamonndeane587]

I have a feeling that Card dislikes Star Trek because the franchise has a Strong following among many LGBTQ communties.

[@tifforo1]

OSC has at least one gay friend, but is a Mormon. Mormons believe that they have a prophet who currently speaks for god, who says homosexuality is immoral. He once claimed that gay marriage legalization was like driving the country off a moral cliff.

[@tifforo1]

But what's really bad is that in the same essay in which he criticizes Star Trek, while making a few legitimate statements about how the TOS show didn't have the characters change much over the course of the show (the development happened more with the movies), he also contrasts it with more "college-level" shows like "Lost, the finest television science fiction series of all time - so far" Yes, he said that about Lost while criticizing Star Trek.

[@tifforo1]

He also criticizes Trek for being light on science in comparison to other works of its time by Arthur C. Clarke and Ursula K. Le Guin, but he contrasts it with what he considers to be the superior later work of... Buffy. Because Buffy isn't as episodic in that it allows ongoing story arcs.

[@brandonlyon730]

You should look H.P Lovecraft. He was the guy who help popularize the concept of Cthulhu, he has quiet a few “views” on black people and immigrants. Or just look up the name of his cat.

[@cinanuva3915]

What's so ridiculous about that video being on a beta maxx? After all, you can save Optimus Prime's brain on a floppy disk!

[@andremarques4863]

3:33 Using the 2nd Iron Man cartoon intro for the opening is somewhat like pouring alcohol into a wound: It hurts when you put the good thing in the bad thing.

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

Durable plastics can shatter like that but the forces involved would probably be so extreme that it kill her.

[@caseygibson7266]

I always thought the "whole body brain" thing part of Ultimate Tony was really, really stupid.

[@gls6388]

What about the sentient brain tumor?

[@JTeenmining]

... infinity stone and I think that's 616...

[@GreenTengu97]

Ultimate Spider-Man was good stuff, at least.

[@BLasherman]

This book is ok too, Linkara hating on it, but it gets better, on the whole the Ultimate Universe was pretty good, until Loeb got a hold of it post Ultimates 3 after Millar left, things go south quickly. Ultimate FF got dumb after Millar left for a second time, and Ultimate X-men became a tire fire after Kirkman left the book (With Millar and Bendis writing it before him). It's neat to read a what if story, and Spider-man was very good the whole way though but I suspect that had a lot to do with one consistent writer.

[@NailBombed]

I reckon the Ultimate Universe as a whole was a somewhat good idea that had good starting points but got bogged down by crossovers and poor writing at the end of things. The good stuff? Ult. Spidey, Ult. X-Men, and Ult Fantastic Four. Plus Ultimates 1 and 2. The badness started happening when Ultimates 3 came around, and of course Ultimatum was an all time low. I did think things picked up a bit after that, but it's been a while since I've read the Ultimate line as a whole - and don't really wish to return to it other than the aforementioned Spider-Man, X-Men and F4 Ultimate series. Ultimate Power was awful, Ult. Wolverine Vs. Hulk took ages to come out and was still pretty bad, Ult. Origin filled in some gaps in the 'verse but otherwise was inessential.

[@DalekTheSupreme]

True that. A retelling of Spider-Man's origins that pays homage to the original while still updating it pretty well for the early 2000's. I really became invested in this version of Peter Parker, and later grew to enjoy Miles Morales as a different take on Spider-Man. I have a special attachment to it, since it us the first Marvel comic I read from start to finish in it's entirety.

[@tjjordan4207]

Are we sure this isn't the reinvention of the origin story for Dr. Manhattan or Nightcrawler? I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to be Apocalypse.

[@jockhenry2672]

Man, i really like these reviews. Actual creative criticism and you seem to put a lot of energy and passion into what you do. I admire you for that.

[@dylansader8760]

Jock Henry ditto

[@TheRPGenius]

I really enjoy reviewers like Jontron and the Nostalgia Critic and like them just fine for what they do, but Linkara's 1 of the few that I sincerely respect.

[@dreamlandnightmare]

@@TheRPGenius Yep, you can tell he is truly passionate about the medium, and he doesn't do the over-the-top negativity thing just to be funny. There is legitimate thought and reason behind his every criticism.

[@paulbutkovich6103]

Yeah, it's my experience that Card has interesting ideas but fumbles pretty terribly on the execution. His stories tend to be unnecessarily dark. He also has a problem trying to write characters who are supposed to be geniuses, they tend only to be smart because everyone else is dumb.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

And because he used to be part of the Holy Canon of Modern Authors, people copied that bad habit from him.

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

"And I dunno... save the world if I got free time." You heard it here first people, the world is doomed because a Minnesotan doesn't got enough free time.

[@carlosalmonacid8958]

I heard that later on they retconned this miniseries as just being a fictional Anime within the Ultimate Universe (implying that the "real" origin for ultimate iron man is probably closer to the 616 version)

[@AlexaRobin21]

I think the cover is a reference to "Tetsuo. the Iron Man," a Japanese movie.

[@zillafire101]

RAlexa21th TETSUO!!

[@airsir9559]

*KANEDAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[@Gojiragon]

Which is probably why it was retconned to be a Japanese show later on in the ultimate universe

[@samboujaiteh3331]

Me: "How is Ultimate Iron Man possibly crazier than "U.S. - 1"?! Linkara: "... writer of this mini-series... Orson Scott Card." Me: *O. H. N. O. ...*

[@ZoanBlade90]

Sambou Jaiteh (One Google Search Later) ...Oh, bother. So the writer of Ender's Game is homophobic. That's a shame.

[@chrisossu2070]

He's a lot more than that. I seems that he got Frank Miller's brain parasite, and his stories became absolutely crazy later in his career.

[@ArthurRex131]

That is so not the point of Ender's Game...

[@1987MartinT]

When I heard who the author was I closed my eyes, hung my head, and went: "oh boy..." in a tired voice. Orson Scott Card is a terrible person.

[@repulser93]

Is it weird that I read that last line in the voice of TTS!Emperor?

[@ultra6671]

So THAT'S where they got the idea for the live action genie in Aladdin!

[@GatorRay]

Imagine if for that they had Dan Castellaneta be a voice double for the song (He did voice Genie in the Alladin TV series)

[@adventarchivist5789]

Wow, i just though of somthing brilliant and stupid for linkara's story segments. Viga and Vice start hanging out, and bond over MLP comics. Vice: "Hmm, i am intreged by these small quadrapeds of color and companionship"

[@JTeenmining]

Horsehead from tomska: I LOVE IT

[@incitossol]

adam favuzzi Headcannon now accepted:

[@dylansader8760]

Herman Cillo linkara: "great are you going to start throwing toys at me to?"

[@adventarchivist5789]

Vice: "It's the least you can tolerate after you've taken property of my ship. PONY!"

[@7Seraphem7]

Sweet Celestia this NEEDS to happen!

[@MitchellTF]

I'd actually say it's interesting and unique...but not in a "Clever character" way, more a "Why?" way. It's also hard to challenge Tony or make him sympathetic, when his whole deal is that he can regenerate from pretty much anything except fire.

[@Dreigonix]

“You really don’t know anything about science, do you, darling?” OF COURSE! DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCIENCE?

[@CactusJackIV]

Just up an hour I'm getting better . I love when you cover materials that are not "comics." But it's great to see you back in the comic realm. Keep up the killer work!

[@Bobsheaux]

"I'm Boney, I'm Boney, leave me aloney." Oh my God, a Weinerville reference. I can die happy.

[@littleschach2011]

Early enough to see the description just says "Description"

[@AzhreiVep]

Four hours later, it still does.

[@SMAXZO]

5 hours later...still says Description

[@twinkiesmaster69]

Little Schach, he probably uploaded the video before he went to sleep

[@EuclideanAl]

Well your comment was 8 hours ago and it still just says description XD

[@gRinchY-op5vr]

9 hours on, nothing has changed...

[@tobiasbanks3743]

Novelists very rarely handle the jump to comics well, with Neil Gaiman being a big exception. It's kind of cool, in a way. It's interesting that writing for comics is such a unique skill that even an acclaimed prose author can't just waltz in write a good comic.

[@Ajax5405]

I only just got around to watching this and I realized something. This is almost the same as Bean's story in the Ender Shadow series. Way to keep reusing stories Card!

[@cherry-cj9iq]

I got my friend (who got me into comics to begin with) to check some of your videos out… and he loved them! This is a win to the Linkara nation Funnily enough, neither of us are much of Marvel fans… with a few exceptions. Both of us like Iron Man a lot, and while Ultimate Iron Man isn't my thing, my brain goes >:0!!! at the sight of Tony every time. It's a curse and a blessing, considering what Marvel puts their characters through.

[@Fuzzy_Barbarian]

I don't think decompressed storytelling is inherently bad, as it can lend greater weight to a moment and is just a useful tool in a medium that gives the writer PERFECT control of their story's pacing... but yeah, the first issue doesn't do it very well. 6:35 is more of an example of it done badly, unless card was trying to give an isolated scene of the lab assistant and text subject having an intimate moment or something... which is still not done very well given their facial expressions and the next panel.

[@3SCAPER00M13]

I really like that iron man helmet you have in the background on your bookshelf, I remember having that mask when I was living at my grandmother's as a little kid. I would watch the 2007 movie with that very same helmet on at all times. You've made me remember very good days. Thanks, dude.

[@carlrood4457]

As much as I love Star Trek, it does often resort to technobabble solutions to technobabble problems, particularly in TNG and Voyager. It's essentially the space opera equivalent of "a wizard did it". However, when its used to drive good characterization like in TNG and DS9 (they all do it, DS9 just had more war, religion, and socio-political storylines) it can be overlooked. When you have bad and inconsistent characterization (lookin at you Janeway), it's really bad.

[@SilverHairedFreak25]

Overall, though, can you really call it bad Science Fiction if it predicted or even INSPIRED a sizable chunk of Science Fact?

[@RaphBlade7]

Well, we now know that Batman & Ultimate Tony Stark's father both prefer BETA over VHS, in addition to being wealthy CEOs with cool tech!

[@genericbandit6333]

That papa smurf line got me

[@rorylumley4727]

In the first ultimates series tony said he bacame iron man after he got a brain tumor and wanted to do some good before he died. That honestly is a perfectly fine orgin that is different from the regular universe iron man which could help make him unique and intresting.

[@GreatFox42]

"And you shall be named...Papa Smurf." A simple joke, and yet my monitor got soaked somehow...

[@GatorRay]

Remember that Duck Dodgers episode where Daffy accidentally became a member of the Green Lantern Corps? That's what this reminds me of.

[@flamemasterelan]

9:57 - In case you were wondering, this was your best joke of 2017, hands down.

[@TheEmeraldWeirdo]

Yay! It sounds like there will be more story next week! On an unrelated note, I just watched the Rifftrax/MST3K reunion show, and was very pleasantly surprised to see a clip of you with your Tom Servo during the credits! Made my day.

[@mathieuleader8601]

I think Card put alot of his person life in this comic book with Tony Stark in this incarnation meant to be a fictional form of his son Charles Benjamin Card whom was born prematurely and died of complications from cerebral palsy when he was 17 and prematurely born children are often called blue babies due to those babies having a bluish skin due to them being deoxygenated

[@fireruby544]

"Every room is a bouncy play castle!" 😲 Genius!

[@Smartalic10]

I actually want to read more of this just to see how far the craziness goes, and how this leads to iron man

[@MChedderbeef]

Ultimate Spider-Man was the only good thing to come out of this universe.

[@brianbrush5107]

17:36 Holy crap stanes face In this shot is hilarious

[@someoneimsure]

Pencil to the ear kills? *shudders in horror at childhood memories/stupidity* #NightmareFuel

[@ZC-Infinity]

Butthole Surfers Electriclarryland

[@DalekTheSupreme]

That just made me think of the Joker in The Dark Knight. _"It's... gone!"_

[@mattsherlock9636]

@@DalekTheSupreme it makes me think John wick.

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

"The military canceled the contract because it would be considered a war crime." So, OSC doesn't know anything about the US military either, then.

[@iron1349]

I like the one where he's a rich inventor who builds a suit of armor so he can escape 'Nam better. Mainly because I could follow what was happening.

[@infinityalbi9840]

17:17 Is that... Alfred?!

[@joshuaingobo1559]

I think it’s Jarvis, whose resemblance looks exactly like Alfred.

[@WilliamGarland]

Betamax was the superior Format, just much more expensive. Makes perfect for a tech-obsessed billionaire to use super expensive tech.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

I don't buy that superiority claim after seeing some present-day comparisons of the two. Also, it wasn't just more expensive - it was harder to bloody find because Sony didn't license it out to other manufacturers en masse like the Japan Victor Company did with VHS, meaning a smaller volume of Betamax tapes was produced to begin with. Also, Sony shot it in the foot via their marketing being out of touch with the fact that people bought blank tapes for the purpose of timeshifting.

[@kaimcdragonfist4803]

Man, as a Mormon I already get embarrassed enough at Card's homophobia and other bigoted opinions, but him calling Star Trek bad science fiction makes it even more embarrassing.

[@CaptainJZH]

No storyline? So is this Entity!Linkara on Comicron Two, or Real Linkara, back on Earth?

[@AT4W]

Real Linkara back on earth.

[@CaptainJZH]

Ok.

[@dylansader8760]

Why is the entity not just blowing your house to bits with comicron two when you are down there during this review.

[@dylansader8760]

Also sorry if it was already explained in the previous video and I am wasting my time and anybody who answers this question I just forgot. Even though I have been on the internet for years now this is my first time commenting because we all know how bad these comment sections can, so please be gentle it's my first time.

[@spider-man9504]

Linkara-AtopTheFourthWall So... When is Database Ranger going to help you out in your current storyline?

[@mqfii8992]

"And boy, was it embarrasing when they grew a left arm instead of a right one." Oh wow, J. Geil's backstory Is kind of dumber than I thought. And his mother as well.

[@barleysixseventwo6665]

"He's incredibly homophobic"Terrible, but not unprecedented for a man of his upbringing and religion. I think as a reasonable individual I think I can look sat-""Calls Star Trek bad science fiction"Shots. Fired.

[@chrisossu2070]

Have you read his version of Hamlet? If not, well, you're in for a TRIIIIIP.

[@gennybaratta2460]

@@chrisossu2070 *looks up Orson Scoot Card's Hamlet* *reads first paragraph of Wikipedia page* *screams for three hours*

[@eamonndeane587]

I get the impression that Card's Disapproval of Star Trek based more on the fact that it has a strong following in the LGBQT Community.

[@tifforo1]

OSC has at least one gay friend, but is a Mormon. Mormons believe that they have a prophet who currently speaks for god, who says homosexuality is immoral. Card once claimed that gay marriage legalization was like driving the country off a moral cliff.

[@TheSpiralCurse]

No Linkara! Snake sex is dangerous! Dont you remember Uzumaki!

[@deathknight75]

BigK13372 My memories of Uzumaki are a bit hazy, but I don't remember a chapter when 20+ people die because two horny teenagers couldn't keep it in their pants.

[@boscojokey3829]

the only thing I've heard about the Ultimate universe that i like is that Ultimate Mysterio is a robot created by regular Mysterio

[@misterbubbles6389]

You know what confuses me the most? Brain tissue does not have pain receptors, so why would it growing throughout his entire body cause him unbearable agony? Yes, having it expand at a rate like that would lead to a lot of other complications and probably a great deal of pain from parts of his body (i mean realistically it would kill him), but that's not what they state here. The brain is like snowflame. It feels no pain.

[@shadowdramon01]

18:10: Holy Crap! A Weinerville reference. Awesome.

[@briansivley2001]

I can't wait for your next episode😁😁😁😁.

[@princealigorna7468]

Card is such a strange entity. He's written some truly good fiction, and several important writing manuals (his work on character and viewpoint is still considered THE benchmark on the subject). But then he also rewrote Hamlet so that the ghost of Hamlet's dad intentionally set his son up and completely ruined Denmark as a nation because he wanted to get Hamlet killed so Hamlet could join him in Hell for hot incestual buttsex. I'm not making that up. That is the literal plot of the novel. Look it up. I don't think there's any other work of fiction on the planet that can be summed up as the ravings of a madman more than this one. This shit makes Mein Kampf seem almost logical by comparison!

[@TheGrayMysterious]

Is this Ultimate Iron Man's origin, or the origin of that "you're not perfect" fetus from Courage the Cowardly Dog?

[@CoLeMaWeSoMe]

Why have armor if you can regenerate body parts indefinitely? Imagine Wolverine with an impact absorbing blue sheath over him, what's the point?

[@cookiesxsugar9447]

I know this likely isn't cannon, but I like to think that in universe Linkara's just not particularly hurried about the whole apocalypse thing it's happened so many times now, and that's the reason for the delays in the storyline.

[@nakenmil]

*canon

[@mogan4534]

The fact that you don’t have over 100K subscribers STILL baffles me. You just kick so much ass, Linkara.

[@AT4W]

It's getting there. It'll most likely happen this year. =)

[@RichardWatt]

No, Linkara, that's not how you get a magic monkey's paw. That's how you get Marburg virus.

[@michaelramon2411]

This story reminds me a lot of the "Stan Lee Creates the Flash" comic, except it takes itself seriously rather than enjoying its goofiness. ...That said, are you telling me that the eternally-drunk Tony Stark we saw in Ultimates 3 and Ultimatum was actually covered in skin-colored bacterial goop the whole time? And he still has billionaire playboy fairly casual sex with women? ...Also, wouldn't the bioarmor work fine if you just didn't literally have it on the skin? Like, just use it as a layer in a vest or helmet or other sort of armor suit, combined with ceramic or Kevlar plating to help with the bullet-resistance problem? Yeah, it eats metal, but not plastic, right? Or, heck, just put a full-body cloth suit on the person and then put the bacteria on top of that. Then put actual bullet-resistant armor on top of that. ...Also also, wasn't the Ultimate Universe supposed to be the more "realistic" of the two universes?

[@jordanloux3883]

The problem is that the bacteria will still eat whatever you put it on. So it would work, but it would just dissolve after a few hours.

[@infamousempire8302]

They actually aren't the same. When marvel realized that this Ultimate Iron Man kinda sucked, they rebooted it into the version from The Ultimates and retconned Blue-Iron-Man Group into being an in-Universe TV show.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

Well, the one we saw in Ultimates 3 wasn't even him anyway lol.

[@nathanielhellman6952]

I love a lot of Orson Scott Card's work, but I am uncomfortable buying his work due to his views. I know he is old and very conservative Mormon, but I am not old or Mormon so I do not have his frame of reference. I do not regret buying his books, but I do not think I will support him financially by buying his material in the future.

[@bacsilva]

Later they retcon Ultimate Iron Man as a cartoon in the Ultimate Universe.

[@MiscellaneousSoup]

-sees title card- I miss Futurama. But, hey, a one-off radio play episode will appear on the Nerdist podcast this Thursday!

[@supersmashbro596]

seriously. what if iron man were in fact a cyborg? like, what if instead of just getting shrapnel close to his heart, his whole body was damaged beyond repair? but he was saved by the scientist who completely rebuilds him in a new body which is cybernetic save for his brain. his suit would be him transforming his body between his civilian persona and his armored persona. i think it'd be a neat idea. Iron man: made of iron!

[@TheGoauldApophis]

A Weinerville reference?! I love your videos!

[@TevyaSmolka]

i am just wondering if you are going to cover some ultimate spider-man comics because i loved that series and it was amazing

[@Dreadjaws]

This book is readable on its own, but as an Iron Man story is absolutely terrible. It completely ruins the character of Tony Stark by basically making him a metahuman. He can regenerate lost limbs, he's smarter because his entire body is brain and even his alcoholism is a side effect of his body being naturally more affected by alcohol than a regular person. They take away literally everything that makes the character who he is and turn it into a joke. Please note that even though Ultimatum is still canon, this book was retconned as not being it. That's how bad it is.

[@juhaniaho6698]

16:30-16:33 So, Papa Smurf is a part of the Marvel Continuity?

[@wraithgames]

0:13 What a GRAPHIC novel concept for the comic review show ;)

[@sirpheredin1379]

3:57- You should really get to writing that book, “Lies This Cover Told Me”

[@Hrothmeir]

This was my first exposure to OSC, and kept me from reading his work for years...

[@TevyaSmolka]

yay its finally here :)

[@rozz6398]

7:21 The Judge Dredd universe actually has something like that, in a spray form. It's called, appropriately enough...Boing!

[@v.m.9198]

I feel like this could have worked as like a cyberpunk superhero story. It has all the elements of it: bad science, good ideas, corporations, anachronistic technology...

[@phantomdragon3893]

Is it me does the blue swollen thing on the title card look like Phelous ?

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

I was lied to when i picked this book up at my local Library, _I came here for Screaming Nightmare Cyborg Tony, Damn It!!_ What I'm saying is Ultimate Universe Tony Stark isn't the only one with blue balls here...

[@metropod]

In the background of the Stark floating building thing are the Triboro and Hell Gate bridges. (Triboro being for cars while Hell Gate carries Amtrak and freight trains). The problem is, given the angles, there should be a nice big chunk of Queens right where the building sits because the East River; A is nowhere near that wide And B meanders.

[@starkiller2099]

This story works a lot better if its not iron man. Its filled with a lot of interesting idea's that don't really come together in the end. I still like the series to go back to once in a while personally

[@jordanloux3883]

Maybe MODOK or The Leader instead?