Surgeons, what's the funniest thing a patient has said under anesthesia?

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[@tanyapoe5490]

Not because of anesthesia but when I was 19, I was in a car accident and I was technically unconscious but was still talking. I kept telling my mom that she shouldn't worry because it would take more than that to get rid of me. I had absolutely no clue that any of this happened. I "woke up" about 4 hrs. later. My memory of 7 pm - 2 am is completely gone.

[@StarSailor1343]

A warrior’s spirit, through and through.

[@BeeWhistler]

Definitely more metal than my brother, who kept asking what had happened and how he got there and then saying he remembered everything. Repeat, the rest of the night. The nurses were cracking up.

[@BriansRainbowOverIreland]

Was in the hospital once for alcohol poisoning. Mom said “you could have died!” And I replied “I wouldn’t have, god isn’t gonna make it THAT easy for me”

[@StarSailor1343]

@@BriansRainbowOverIreland I read this to the verse of “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes

[@BriansRainbowOverIreland]

@@StarSailor1343 so I wake in the morning in a hospital bed and I try to get out the words in my head but I, I’m feeling… way too drunk still… and then I threw up and passed out on the bathroom floor and nurse came in and asked what for and I told her… I really like the floor! And I said (throws up more)

[@peacefulgrotesque1510]

8:59 What the doctor said: "I'm the only man that has been in here, so I assure you no one came in and pooped on your bed." What she heard: "It was ME"

[@quantumslasher]

The "hitler has only got one ball" is sung to Colonel Bogey March. There's a few different versions. If you look up that line you'll find many versions of the song on youtube.

[@twilight8045]

Hitler has got one ball! Göring has two but very small Himmler has something sim'lar But poor old Goebbels has no ball at all!

[@dadoctah]

You can find the melody in "Bridge on the River Kwai". When the movie came out, a lot of people who had sung it during the war had to explain to their civilian friends what was so funny because in the film the tune was only whistled.

[@MJRuda]

I sang it to the tune of "Discord" by The Living Tombstone😂

[@hallidayshaneen]

Uk version Hitler only has one ball, The other is in the Albert Hall, His mother, the dirty bugger cut it off when he was small, She threw it into an apple tree it fell down to the deep blue sea. The fishes got out there, dishes, and had scallops and bollox for tea.

[@real_nosferatu]

Immediately scrolled to the comments to look for this

[@rinpaisys]

14:55 drunk words are sober thoughts, but drugged words are drugged thoughts.

[@supranova565]

good way to put it

[@MorganChaos]

Yeah, being drunk takes your walls down but it doesn't make you hallucinate. Drugs absolutely can make you hallucinate, lol. Although, to be fair, I could believe a drunk person might get fucked up enough that they started recounting something like that and they forget to say "this was a recurring nightmare I had as a child," leading to some questions lol.

[@BoxOKittens]

A few years ago my mom had to have anesthesia for a biopsy. On the drive home she wanted one of those little fudge sundaes from McDonalds. But she wanted extra fudge. A LOT of extra fudge. I left her dozing in the car, went in, and explained to some teenager that my loopy mother really wanted a fudge sundae that was about 90% fudge. And he gave me exactly that. It was solid fudge with a hint of vanilla at the bottom. The tragedy is that I took my mom home and she immediately passed out with the sundae sitting forgotten on her bedside table.

[@KitKat10281]

Aww, that's an adorable story, all the way around! I would totally have taken a photo of said sundae and then proceeded to wreck it myself after mom passed out, though! 😂

[@JC130676]

I had a coworker who said something funny way, waaaayyyy after the anesthesia wore out. He'd had a wisdom tooth removed because the root kept growing, to the point where it caused a bulge on the underside of his jaw. He was describing how the procedure didn't go as easy as hoped and he said about the doctor (who according to him was stunningly beautiful) : "She actually had to use both hands to pull it out, and when she finally succeeded she was amazed by how big it was." Dead silence for two seconds while everyone was staring at each other before we all started roaring with laughter. Only then did he realize the double meaning of what he'd just said. Yes, we all have dirty minds...

[@BeeWhistler]

That's what she said? lol

[@DubYuhGChoppa]

Well he was talking about an operation lmao I'm sure he wasn't thinking of the implications like y'all were

[@Munchkin.Of.Pern09]

When I was coming back from anaesthesia after getting my wisdom teeth out, I asked for a pen and paper so I could write down what it felt like in case I needed to write about a character coming back from anaesthetic for a fanfic. Priorities lol.

[@Munchkin.Of.Pern09]

I can vaguely remember the phrase “my head is as full of cotton as my mouth.”

[@daninb8939]

Salute, my friend

[@Wolfie54545]

I just took mental notes

[@BrightBlueInk]

I feel like this is something I would do, oh no

[@MorganChaos]

I didn't do any such thing because I was unaware that I felt different in any way until I tried to stand up and had to like, direct my fall so I landed back in the recovery armchair lmao.

[@dasapples]

I yelled “WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME” right before I passed out once

[@zahando4613]

😂😂💀 I once woke up in the middle of the night and kept asking for the water bottle cap And when I had a fever, I kept saying to my mom that I needed to go to Facebook

[@StarSailor1343]

How was the fall

[@Multifandom.Moon.Edits.]

I almost choked on my ice cream because I started laughing at this

[@SimpliStrawberri]

@@zahando4613what 😂

[@BeanKally]

@@StarSailor1343IF YOU WANNA LOOK AROUND

[@PinkNinjanerd]

I was the patient. I had anesthesia for a surgery to get a giant cist out. My mom and the doctor were at my sides. I'd apparently complained about my throat hurting (from a tube being shoved in there), so the doctor offered to get me a popsicle, saying there were mango popsicles. I enthusiastically and dramatically said "I hate mango." But then when they said there was also an orange flavored popsicle, I said all happy and excited "I LOVE orange!" I also said at some point that I was going to take a nap, closed my eyes, then proceeded to open them up again and say "That was a good nap", when not even a minute had passed.

[@rai1578]

This reminds me so much of my experience with anesthesia when I was a kid haha. I had an upper endoscopy (also involves a tube being shoved down your throat) and they offered me one of those push-pop things. I started raving about how excited I was for it, how it had been so long since I had a push pop, and how nice it was of them to give me one. I think I even told one of the doctors or nurses that I loved them lol Anesthesia + popsicles = big emotions

[@PinkNinjanerd]

@@rai1578 can't argue with that logic lmao XD

[@Aquarios1337.]

I can relate to the good nap part, as I have done that when not even on anything.

[@UrfavLuna1234]

😭😭😭 I’m loving those stories I’m just scared what it can do to me

[@tarikdajedhai6530]

Waking from having my right breast removed do to cancer at 16, i come too squeazing the recover nurses breasts with my hands complete with honking noises

[@charlottebeads]

oh shit

[@KitKat10281]

Honestly a pretty funny and rather wholesome outcome for such a traumatic experience you had to go through. Hope all is well nowadays! ❤

[@graybee0209]

I got top surgery when I was 20 and only got a couple of hours of sleep the night before since my surgery was early in the morning, after surgery the nurses kept waking me up to make sure i still knew who i was and where i was and every time they did i kept asking if i could go back to sleep. At one point, before i went back to sleep, I looked over to the nursing student and said “Im glad i got that off my chest” and heard her laugh before falling back asleep

[@cobwebinthecorner]

*_I C O N I C_*

[@KittyMama61]

When my mom was coming out from anesthesia, she kept gesturing toward her nose, making swiping motions. When the nurse asked her what she was doing, she said she was trying to get those tampons out of there.

[@DubYuhGChoppa]

I've read a few comments and I think you definitely win

[@drewholmes7356]

Thunderdong should be a prideful nickname.

[@mztweety1374]

“ If I code, play kickstart my heart while you do cpr”😂😂

[@bostonrailfan2427]

beats playing “Staying Alive” 🤣

[@kelleywyskiel3478]

My grandmother coming off anesthesia began sternly going off about, “ you can’t have my new Lincoln “ to my cousin who owned car lots and had sold it to her. My daughter coming off from wisdom teeth was fine, then suddenly started sobbing hysterically into a full panic meltdown as I was bringing to car around, thinking I left her. It was so intense the surgeon was crying, the nurses were crying, I still have trauma from wondering why she thought I’d leave her.

[@maniacalworm]

when my older sister got her wisdom teeth out, after the procedure, she was laying on the couch and there was a towel hanging on the door and she said "who is that person doing a handstand over there?"

[@AerCloud]

I forgot English and very angrily accused the nurse of stealing my socks. In fluent Irish Gaelic, which she did not speak.

[@contortionyx]

When my sister got her wisdom teeth out, a nurse/assistant was helping her to get in the van while mom went to the driver side. Mom heard a muffled thump and what she thought was crying coming from my sister. Mom rushed around to help thinking she'd fallen & gotten hurt only to see her sitting up, laughing her ass off barely getting out "I can't get in the van". The nurse/assistant said she was struggling to lift her leg high enough and for some reason my sister thought that was the funniest thing ever. My "funny" story of getting my wisdom teeth out is that I tried to exit the van while my mom was still driving it :) got the door open and everything. Luckily, we had made it home and were in the driveway so we weren't moving *fast* but that thing's just rock & gravel. Mom grabbed my arm and refused to let me go until she was able to shut the van off. Love you Mom💖

[@wizrad1277]

First and only time I went under for a procedure, I accused my doctor of stabbing me and stealing my face instead of removing my wisdom teeth like he was supposed to.

[@sannyassi73]

I apologized for throwing a Mattress out my 3rd story bedroom window- I felt so bad about it. I even remember it a bit- I had a dream while under and that was the dream. I thought they'd taken me to the hospital because there was something wrong with me after I'd thrown my matress out the window, like I'd done it because I needed medical treatment for something. I remember how confused I was when they laughed and told it that wasn't real. I also thought I was in a medical bed sitting inside a gymnasium, basketball hoops and all and thought it was a huge waste of space for just one patient. I had a bunch of other hallucinations- I still wonder what the heck they had me on while I was there! In the end I was just in Hospital and had been in a coma for a few Days. I'd passed out in the middle of the street while it was raining because I had Pneumonia and a terrible sinus infection that had me blowing ketchup out my nose. My neighbor found Me, getting mail in the rain at 1AM. They put me in a coma. If I hadn't passed out in the middle of the street and that neighbor hadn't found me by getting the mail at that unlikely time I probably would have died, I was just toughing out the super-cold. The only reason I was out there was to fetch a liquor bottle that I'd forgotten from my Car- weird just how lucky I got. I very vaguely remember crawling around in the street trying to get inside, but I was extremely out of it and then the lights of the Ambulance, and that's about it. Don't remember the neighbor at all. Something wants Me in the World- I've been that close to death more times than I like to think about.

[@kelleywyskiel3478]

My only anesthesia memory was a second surgery after the first went very badly and I almost died from sepsis. Anyways, I’m being rolled out by the team, my surgeon was telling me that I need to warn anyone in the future that I’m violent swinging on anesthesia, which I don’t remember, but I do remember looking at my bare foot and asking where my sock went and then crying because I lost my sock. He said I lost it in the fight…. I remember nothing. But I do know I wasn’t happy about going into the surgery.

[@tengo_hambru]

btw not being able to handle anesthesia can also mean that you have either strong or very strong side effects like my mom i think gets really sick and she gets a massive headache

[@amberspicks547]

It doesn’t bring out facts, but does bring out truths… in the sense that it reveals things that are inside people’s minds… including recurring dreams and fears, etc. I don’t know if I’m being clear about what I mean, but I hope so

[@janemiettinen5176]

Friend, whose husband had a pill habit, had to have major stomach surgery and she got a Valium as a pre medication. “I just dont get it, these pills are so overrated”, she uttered to her hubby, just before it kicked in. Minute later she was standing up on her bed, telling the whole medical crew trying to haul her into the surgery how they were obviously “all devil’s minions, doing devil’s work”, pointing fingers at each person. They were able to get her down, but she was still sitting up as they started to wheel her away, arms crossed and shooting stink eye to everybody. She is usually very calm, undramatic and non-religious personality, which makes this even funnier. This might be one of my favorite stories.

[@shinymegaabsollover9757]

I have a few funny stories about how one of my cousins and 2 of my siblings acted after getting their wisdom teeth removed while still being high on pain meds and anesthesia. None of them remember these situations. 1. My cousin didn’t recognize my aunt (her mother) at all. On the way home she kept yelling that she was being kidnapped and that my aunt needed to let her go. She attempted to open the car doors and jump out of the moving car. Luckily the doors were locked. 2. When my sibling came out of anesthesia the nurse was explaining to them that they wouldn’t be able to use straws for a bit because they wouldn’t be able to suck with them. My sibling immediately responded with “So I can’t suck dick?” with our mom in the room. To make this even funnier my sibling was single at the time and is still a virgin. They had never and still haven’t sucked dick before. But the hilarity didn’t stop! My mom bought smoothies on the way home for everyone since it was something that my sibling could consume. But since they couldn’t use a straw, they had to use a spoon. They kept yelling about how they couldn’t get the smoothie in their mouth and that they were making a mess. The entire time one of my younger cousins, who was 4 or 5 at the time I think, was trying to clean them up and giggling. 3. My sister probably handled her anesthesia the best out of everyone I mentioned. But she did have trouble regaining consciousness and then staying conscious after she woke up. On the way back home she kept criticizing my sibling’s driving skills and called them a “f*cking dumb*ss,”. My sibling found this hilarious, especially since this was not too long after they had gotten a really bad speeding ticket and my sister almost never swears.

[@Fusako8]

From me to my anesthetist when I was being put under at age 16 "I can't relax my fist because it isn't listening to me anymore!" I had cripplingly bad needlephobia, and this resulted in hysterical paralysis due to the IV in said arm. I also took a couple times as much anesthesia as would be typical for someone of my bodyweight. . . and burned it off stupidly fast. What can I say, I had a hummingbird metabolism at that age.

[@dualcaster]

dr kawasaki was mad as hell lmao

[@christophernodurft1868]

The "Hitler has only got one ball" is sung to "March from the River Kwai". That's the whistling song from The Bridge on the River Kwai.

[@ColonelMayfair]

Yeah, they had to whistle it in the movie because of the lyrics, but EVERYONE who lived through WWII knew what song that was.

[@Rave12612]

I said it after i woke up from it but i remember saying something like “is what it feels like to be drunk?”

[@KrazyKatLady9393]

I had ketamine when I had my c section, it was a terrifying trip. It made me think I was dead.

[@mm9374]

I had the same thing from ether. I thought I was in the graveyard where souls went when they died. I was 6 years old.

[@1bootliz]

Terrifying is the right word, except the one time I had it there wasn't enough "me" left to feel any emotions. I was SO relieved to get my body back again! 😅

[@ZA-mb5di]

Not under anesthesia yet, but I told my jaw surgeon to play Michael Jackson music before administering the propofol

[@BrightBlueInk]

When my husband got a wisdom tooth removed, a nurse was telling me about how to use teabags against the wound to help with the bleeding, and my husband (who had just gotten out of the surgery) responded "also great for scaring away British vampires." The funniest part is this is absolutely the sort of stupid joke he would say completely sober.

[@theduchessofspring2395]

I went in for a colonoscopy/endoscopy in my early 30s. As I was coming out of the anesthesia in a recovery room with my mother present to help me get re-dressed once I was sober enough, I responded to the two nurses' inquiry about how I was feeling with, "I dreamt I was riding through the clouds on a winged Pistachio M&M!" My mom instantly burst my happy-drunk bubble by saying " Baby, they don't make Pistachio M&Ms." I started balling my eyes out. Also, the stuff they have you drink in order to flush out your colon for the colonoscopy is just disgusting!🤢🤮

[@witnessproductions17]

my sister got three wisdom teeth out. when she woke up, she immediately started crying and asking for me specifically. while our dad was finishing up some paperwork at the front desk, my sister flipped off the monitor, took a picture of her doing so, posted it on snapchat, and then kept crying.

[@SalisburyTheWaterFoxxo]

0:55 Dad joke right there XD

[@Fabala827]

Two things from when I got my wisdom teeth out in high school. The first one I don’t remember, but apparently I started shifting around in recovery, and when the doctor asked me what I was doing, I said, “I’m going to do a handstand,” without leaving my curled-up position on the cot. Then in the car on the way home, the anesthesia was making me feel nauseous so I started crying about feeling nauseous. My cousin/foster sister was there when I got home, and she said, “oh no, if you cry, it’s going to make me cry too!” Then I started laughing uncontrollably while still half crying lol

[@linroos5252]

I woke up after surgery and started telling the doctor about vampire hunting.

[@hiim-d9v]

I forgot what the surgery was for but it was either a gum graft or wisdom teeth removal. While they were waking me up from anesthesia apparently I looked pale so they brought me a puke bag. The first thing I said when I woke up was damn that’s a giant condom.

[@nightthorn1233]

When I was a child and was coming off of anesthesia, I proceeded to watch a very inappropriate show in front of my mom.

[@PimguOPM]

“I bet you kill it with the ladies” 4:30 is actually incredible

[@Catherinzsl]

3:38 _I'm coming out... of anaesthesia!_

[@JanMaynz]

Thunderdong sent me over the edge 😂😂😂 I was laughing at all of these, (except the sad one, wtf) but that poor man! 😂😂😂

[@wendyryder2708]

I have asthma and have occasionally had to go to hospital for it! They gave me a LOT OF VENTOLIN AND ALSO GAVE ME A NEBULISER MACHINE TO USE! All this made me a bit high and when a nurse came in to take some blood, I apparently said “Are you a vampire”? My eldest daughter was sitting on the chair next to the bed and when she heard me say that she was mortified! lol!

[@RedX101]

Ages ago I said “is this heaven?” or something like that.

[@Kanako_ketsunake]

Here’s my story, I was the one under anesthesia I was being wheeled out to my moms car after I got a tooth pulled, damn tooth had a cavity down to the ROOT, and I felt like sh*t, but euphoric too, and I said to the nurse afterwards “thank you for your service” and right before she left, I said “I love you!”

[@vitalricecakes8274]

I went under for the first of 2 upper endoscopies and was transported into the OR before i was sedated, the surgeon introduced himself and said i was allowed to keep my stuffed animal and blanket (childrens hospital and i was like 9) so i liked him. Then he told me i was gonna get really sleepy and to count to 10. My newly doped child brain decided that if i didnt count to 10, i wouldnt fall asleep. I instead sang my ABCs (much to the bewildered amusement of the OR staff) and promptly knocked out by F. Now the second endoscopy, they put me down BEFORE i got to the OR. All i remember is thinking that a coat hook resembled a donkey and for some reason found it hilarious, so i was absolutely HOWLING with laughter as they wheeled me down the hall, past the intake rooms of many other kids, while trying to keep me from laughing myself out of the bed. They never sedated me outside the OR again.

[@jcookiecakes9018]

I watched all the videos on this channel. I listen to these while I work. I wish the videos were longer they are great

[@Albanwinter]

I'm such a lightweight when it comes to painkillers etc. that I really didn't say anything ridiculous under anesthesia. About the only thing I recall saying was how brave this little kid was that was next to me in pre-op. He had come in with a burst appendix and he wasn't whining, crying or complaining even before they gave him the pre-op drugs. After my surgery when I was just on heavy duty pain medication I kept telling the nurse to take my IV out. She kept telling me that I needed that there for the pain medication. Me: "No, take it out. It's annoying." Her: "Is it hurting you?" Me (whining): "No, but it's annoying." Her: "I bet you can't even feel it." Me: "I know it's there, it's annoying." No matter who came into the room, my mom, the nurse, the orderlies, heck even my brother-in-law on the phone...they knew that IV was annoying. And speaking of orderlies...There was this drop dead gorgeous one that worked there and I would get mad when he'd have to come in to help me because, of course, my butt is hanging out of the gown. I have a feeling he probably thought I hated him because at one point I actually said "Oh does it have to be him?" When I had my wisdom teeth out I kept going completely to sleep but I wasn't supposed to. They were only applying laughing gas to keep me chilled out so they had to keep adjusting the gas every fifteen minutes or so. My plastic surgery I was so out of it afterwards I actually couldn't talk. There was another woman in that recovery room that was looped out on the drugs and she kept trying to get up to go home. I was getting angrier and angrier at her and I wanted to scream at her to shut up and lay down because she was disturbing my nice sleep. But like I said, couldn't talk, couldn't even get out a squeak.

[@cadcar13]

I was laughing out loud at several of these ones! Thanks for the laughs!❤

[@EvonneSol]

Personal favorite - I was going in for some kind of scan and operation due to an infection. While they're dosing me up and injecting the dye into the affected area, I start flirting with one of the assistants that was helping out. Here's the thing: it was a bladder infection, I was a fifteen year old girl with no idea how to flirt, and the poor guy was married. So while the team's bustling about to get this whole situation figured out I'm telling the poor man how cute he is and how I wanted to take someone just like him to senior prom in a few years. Super cringy, but it made one of the other guys laugh hysterically. I had a similar situation a year later when I fractured something in my knee ... with a female on staff, that time. Apparently dosed up me thinks anyone's cute that's outside my age range, prepping me for a procedure, and way out of my league.

[@Void_Th3_W0lf]

Never been on anesthesia I don't think, but sometimes when my mom has to come wake me up because I slept in (usually I get very little sleep those nights) I say some odd stuff on a half-asleep brain. I remember proclaiming to her "I didn't know time existed"

[@LiviaAfton333]

U remember I was at the dentist and had to have a tooth surgery and I was put under laughing gas, they had music on. They had Bye Bye Bye and I started Singh my heart out apparently

[@spiritedaway0tutu]

I am normally a very polite, kind, and nonviolent person that would rather sink through the floor than make a nurse upset. The last surgery I had, I woke up and IMMEDIATELY tried to throw hands with the nearest nurse. Turns out, they messed up my meds and post surgical care and I was in an insane amount of pain. Apparently, large amounts of pain mixed with anesthesia turn me into a heavyweight boxer. Who knew?

[@spiritedaway0tutu]

My dad once woke up from surgery and tried to write my mom a note on the drive home from the hospital. According to him, he could read it just fine and was very upset she wasn’t reading it. According to *her,* who was trying very hard not to crash the car while her loopy husband tried to shove a sticky note in her face, what he had *actually* written was a line of squiggles, with no discernible letters to be found.

[@Justinanderson8654]

I was apparently insanely chatty when I got drugged. I was getting a butt sist cleaned so my dad [who was with me] told me I was saying the worst butt jokes imaginable, plus being high so I barely made sense. I was apparently put on some lighter stuff (pricing, I’m guessing?) so I was never completely out and chatted nonstop for the entire surgery. I was later put completely under for a penis surgery, but it took me a “unusually long time” to drug me to sleep, and my doctor said I was “very funny” so I’m guessing that round it was penis jokes.

[@abigailpaolini3480]

i had surgery, apparently got ketamine before/during and woke up from anesthesia absolutely sobbing, saying “i want my mom” over and over again. even when they brought my mom in from the waiting room and she was hugging me, i still kept crying and saying “i want my mom” over and over. at my post op appointment, my doctor explained that ketamine makes you super emotional, and what i was doing was normal 😂

[@angelalandgraf3547]

So I had knee Surgery in August of 2023. I was 25 years old and it was only my second surgery. (the first being tonsils at 5) I wear glasses on a normal basis so when I woke up I saw my mom hand my mom something and I asked "are those planet stickers?" Because they looked like Jupiter and Neptune. The reply I was given - "No, they are pictures the scope took of the inside of your knee." I pouted but since I had to eat/drink something I literally chose graham crackers and apple juice. I had a very childlike mindset afterwards. Then they wanted me to walk a bit and so the nurse "ok, you have to walk a bit. How about a walk to the bathroom?" I replied yes, in a drawn out way. Yeah anesthesia made my mind a bit younger for a few hours after waking up.

[@eternal8song]

Apparently I once told the anaesthesiologist, as he was putting me under for a routine angiogram, all about how cool my sister is. She's not cool. I love her anyway, but idk what I was thinking.

[@anonymousanonymous2625]

I just had a major surgery where they did a spinal block and,A general because of an airway concern. As I was sitting up, leaning on the nurse getting the block, I told her about all the little Japanese people making ice cream just like on KZbin. Then I started to cry because I had to fast for surgery and couldn't have any ice cream. I think she told me we'd come back after surgery for ice ream.

[@MorganChaos]

My wife and I are now in our mid thirties and married 3.5 years, but we were together on and off through our late teens/early-mid twenties. She got her wisdom teeth out during this period, and her mom was trying to make her drink some ginger ale so she wouldn't throw up. She wailed at the top of her lungs "DYLAN WOULDN'T MAKE ME DRINK GINGER AAAAAAAAAALE" (They did eventually get the ginger ale down her but her mom's plan was to call me and have me tell her to drink the ginger ale. We hadn't met or talked at that time, but she knew enough about me to know that I had my wife's best interests at heart and I would indeed make her drink the ginger ale, lmao.)

[@nightthorn1233]

I’ve gone through a lot of procedures, since I was a child where I had to be put under anesthesia, and have essentially taught myself how to quickly wake up enough once I am aware so I can get out of there quickly. I believe it was originally due to my dislike of having an IV in my hand. I definitely used it to get the leg squisher off when I had appendicitis as a teenager.

[@nightthorn1233]

I will say that my siblings were quite disappointed that I was only merely grumpy after I had my wisdom teeth out.

[@aliecarey]

Puppy on amphetamines 😂😂

[@grymhunter2849]

Mine terrified the nurses. I had to get wisdom teeth out at 24, which has gotten infected and my ex was the closest person to take me. The nurse was talking to me as I was going under and asked if the man I came with is my boyfriend, she told me later I answered, "not anymore, he's a r@pist" then I went under and when I came back out and they were getting me checked out I started crying and begging the people "don't let him take me. I want to go home, I don't want to go with him" of course he was pissed the whole walk home, because I made it publicly known what kind of person he is. No happy ending here cuz he didn't take me back to my home, he took me to his. Y'all can guess what the @#$&* happened that night. I guess he thought I wouldn't remember

[@bunnieapplebaum]

Oh my god dude

[@ItsAllAboutPerspective375]

Omg, how did they let you leave with him without clarifying the whole thing?! Sometimes it's just something wacky, and sometimes the truth spills out. Especially once you confirmed it! I'm very sorry, for all of that. Narcissists are the worst.

[@DrgnLdyLizzie2001]

Please tell me you called the cops on his ass!!

[@PinkAndPathetic]

After waking up from anesthesia after a heart transplant, the doctor was talking to my parents basically saying where I'm going to be, where to find my recovery room, and all that. After he was done talking, I tried my best to ask "Will this be before or after the surgery" and he says "The surgery is already done" and I just gave a defeated "Oh" I was so out of it I didn't even realize the surgery was already completed.

[@SalisburyTheWaterFoxxo]

9:34 Your voice made this funny for me

[@phoenixcalling]

Apparently "I NEED TO POOP!" was the first thing that came out of my mouth when I started waking up from jaw surgery

[@spiritedaway0tutu]

My sister woke up from anesthesia in tears, to the point we had to call my other sister to help calm her down. The reason for the tears? She was too old to go to Neverland with Peter Pan. *She was 22.*

[@pumacatmeow]

Story 16 is heartbreaking 😭😭

[@notsureyou]

"Thunderdong" 😂😂

[@theunnameabledude3657]

🎵”Hitler, has only got one ball, Göring has two but they are small. Himler has something sim’lar. And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all” It was a tune that US and British forces sang on the march toward Berlin during WWII. The tune is the DinkDink song from Spaceballs.

[@labyrinthgirl17]

My mom said two very funny things while on some heavy duty pain killers after surgery. 1. In a stage whisper, "Don't go into the bathroom! Darth Vader is in there." She thought the paper towel dispenser looked like Darth Vader was peeking out of the bathroom, and she wasn't wrong. 2. "Have they caught that chicken yet?" When I asked her what she was talking about, she gestured to the doorway to her hospital room. "There was a chicken running around the hall earlier. I hope they caught it." She also tried to hand out an invisible plate of cookies, but she thought she'd been dreaming and didn't realize she'd been acting out her 'dream' lol. I think the ones I can remember saying were also pretty funny. "If I had tears, I would cry." - Said after I had gotten the breast reduction surgery I'd needed for years and saw how I looked right afterwards. "Who put the floor here?" - After my bio sperm donor (not a father) pulled me out of the hospital bed to hurry me up and I couldn't feel anything below my knees, so I just fell onto my butt. The nurses told him to buzz off while they helped me off the floor and then assisted with dressing me. It was after getting my gallbladder taken out. "What pain?" - When I was asked how I would rate my pain after getting surgery to drain an abscess in my groin. I also woke up mid-procedure when I had a scope down my throat, as they were looking for ulcers in my stomach. Apparently, I made this horrific gurgling, growling noise, tried to bite down on the scope tube in my mouth (a very thick plastic guard stopped me from actually doing any damage), and I even tried to punch someone before they cranked up the anesthesia and I passed out again.

[@Raven62]

My mom went through so many surgeries and never had any of her nurses told me that she said anything funny. Though me on the other hand, when I had my wisdom teeth removed, my sister told me that I freaked out that shards of needle were running freely in my blood stream.

[@BaePlatinum]

Not under anesthesia, but when I was waking up from a seizure. This is the postictal state, or as my mom likes to call it, "the lights are on but nobody's home" phase. I've said and done a lot of hilarious stuff while postictal. However, the time I kept repeating "I love Dio" as in Dio Brando from JJBA has to take the cake as the funniest.

[@dragonswirl3579]

When I came out of the anesthesia after getting my wisdom teeth removed, apparently I kept pushing the gauze out of my mouth with my tongue and laughing when the nurses had to put it back in, except then cried when I got frustrated because the gauze had to be in my mouth. On the way home (I actually remember this part) I was still pretty drugged up and I asked my mom if I could turn on the radio, and started humming along, and I saw my mom pull out her phone and point it at me, so I turned and said very aggressively "I'm not gonna say anything stupid MOM." And yeah we have that on video. When I got home my mom put me on the couch and I cried because she took my shoes off ??

[@mewtheenigma2732]

2:06 Oh that’s to the tune of the “Colonel Bogey March” lol Some people might recognize it as the whistling from the film “Bridge Over the River Kwai” The full bit is “Hitler… has only got, one, baaaaall. Goring, has two but ve-ry, smaaaaaall. Himmler’s… got something sim’lar… And old Joe Goebels… has no balls… at aaaaaaaall”

[@quasar42069]

One time when I was waking up from anesthesia (i was young and impulsive and stupid), I tried to take off all my clothes and run out of the hospital. That was fun.

[@epsu1427]

Thank's for a new funny video. I loved this video❤ I cracked up at almost everything

[@checo8383]

i woke up briefly from my appendicitis surgery and i asked my mom “is it over?” and then passed away

[@Captain_Nightwing]

I had happy meds for before I got my wisdom teeth taken out. This is what I did, promptly took my flip flops off before hoping into the chair. And then when the nurse commented on my mom's necklace I told her it was cubic zirconia. After a surgery, I was still out of it. I asked what time it was. They asked me if I wanted my glasses to see I told them I don't want to see. I just wanted to know the time. When I had two teeth pulled the first thing I asked for was my flamingo poncho.

[@vickiesmith3021]

Absolutely FANTASTIC reading. THANK YOU.

[@breannahidalgo6328]

I told a nurse after surgery that her top made her look fat

[@PaleNoFace]

Got my wisdom teeth removed a month ago. It wasn't general anesthesia, but I was pretty high on anxiety meds (all prescribed and highly encouraged due to previous dental trauma). I kept trying to eat my lower lip by the time we were done.

[@lindabruns6020]

Oh my God I was laughing out loud at some of these 🤣. HILARIOUS!!! I hope to God I never divulged anything during any of my surgeries!

[@WillowsVeganBakery]

Oh my gosh, I once just woke up from it when I was about 8 (I needed intense dental care) and said "Oh shoot, sorry guys, I fell asleep. I was so tired earlier". I said some other things that I don't remember. Later I almost DIED of embarrassment. I do remember that I also started talking about random KZbinrs that I hated, giving very animated descriptions of why I hated them.

[@virginiawolfe2581]

I didn't say anything when I went to the ER. My cousin told me that I snored so loud everyone was giggling, though.

[@iamahuman2813]

I took Anastasia when I was- like- 10, well, laughing gas… when I woke up I asked if I could have my toy, then I said I couldn’t feel my mouth and bit my lip until it bled…

[@christinaparks7339]

i had broken my arm/wrist and was put under to set it, the break ended up need to be surgery to fix. but when i was coming out of it i kept asking why they chopped off my arm. I legit thought they amputated and stole my arm.

[@Kyy-Sokia]

I have bad teeth so have fillings in a lot. What’s odd is that the laughing gas makes it so I can only think/speak in French. I’m from Texas.

[@Chewy59382]

They were looking at my lungs for my asthma the first thing I said was "oh hey mom when did you get here and where am I?"

[@bird_b0nezz]

had my wisdom teeth removed and apparently was saying “why don’t have a penis?? where are my balls????? WHERE ARE THEY??” while sobbing, i’m a trans man and haven’t gotten any surgery, but apparently my brain was somehow convinced k was a cis man and they had somehow stolen my genitalia.

[@darkdest6664]

those goddamn dentists stealing your genitals. so rude!

[@madisondean1074]

It's literally past midnight in Michigan at the moment and I still live with my parents. As soon as I heard "Hitler has only got one ball", I died laughing. I literally had to use my blanket that I've had since I was 4 years old to stop me from laughing so loudly. I'm still laughing as I'm typing this.🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tattysplat]

I had warned the anesthetist that I might be super pukey as the drugs took affect and wore off because that's how my mum is and I'd never had it before. Apparently I thought I was on a roller coaster and was giggling my ass off and saying "weeeeee" as I "went through the corkscrew", when I woke up I told rhe nurse to "fuck off, its not time for school yet".... I had been out school for 10years. Then more recently I slipped a disc and needed morphine and Gas&Air to get me to the point where I could scream my way through moving, I kept screaming at the paramedic driving to stop braking and cornering for the roundabouts and junctions, I was yelling at them before the turns because I know the way so well, so even on my back and off my tits I could tell them exactly where we were and what road

[@SilverRagaire]

15:00 I got to watch my mom have a procedure done under anesthetics when I was young. She was the DoN of the center and the Doctor was okay with it. Think acupuncture, but deeper and in the spine. My mom told me and her co-workers all about the time she went skydiving, the issue was, she’s never been skydiving and has never wanted to.

[@Akira_2x]

My dad had a colanocapy (probably botched that spelling) and after he said "I am having the biggest f*cking farts" I laughed so hard cuz he had an awesome tone! (In colanocapy they pump you with air so *FARTS*)

[@kathermov]

“hitler has only got one ball” was my great grandma’s funeral march! obviously it was actually colonel bogey’s march, but she was around during ww 2, and she hated hitler (as most do), and it was her favorite song

[@SalisburyTheWaterFoxxo]

7:07 XD IMMEDATILY MNADE ME LOSE IT!

[@Lemonz1989]

I would probably start speaking in my native language, which means no one at the hospital would understand me, lol.

[@kl0xY]

Spaniard here, it depends on the family. Personally I wouldn't agree that privacy invasion, unless it's a small child

[@victoriahewitt9938]

I don't know what they gave my dad for his colonoscopy, but he kept trying to climb out of the moving car on the way home & shouted to everyone that he'd just had a colonoscopy & the drugs felt great! I guess a car of guys cheered at that, so I like to think that it might've given them the motivation to get checked out as well, even if for the wrong reasons. 😂

[@ashleydaemen627]

Not a doctor but apparently after removing all my dentures I kept insisting the nurses in the recovery room to sit down and didn't have to take care of me and I'll be fine. I was bleeding from the mouth HARD. So they had to check where it was coming from to put gauze in place. I wanted to get up to grab it myself. Yeah with morphine that shit ain't working. Before I went under they were discussing what they would do to my left arm cuz they couldn't put an armrest on the right side cuz that's where the surgery needed to stand and can't be in the way. *Put on mask* Surgeon: we can tie her arm to the bed. Me: what kind of kinky shit are y'all gonna do to me? *Knockout* 🤣