Understanding autism and loneliness | Divergent Voices hosted by Purple Ella

[@wendyheaton1439]

I can so relate to so wanting a best friend all my life and never finding one...I realise now that I need a different sort of bestie not one as NTs expect...

[@VoytenTechnologies]

We can all be friends 😊

[@boop3260]

It’s strange, I definitely relate to wanting a single best friend, but I’ve also been lucky enough to move through life with that being my norm. Even as a young child, I really only had A friend, one person who I did everything with and vice versa. The realisation that they sometimes had other friends was a bit jarring at times 😅 now I’m older I have a slightly broader friend group, still not enough to count on more than two hands but all lovely and people I truly trust in their own ways

[@mariesoriano6940]

With all my heart, thank you. I thought I was the only one who had these experiences, these feelings of loneliness and hyper vigilance. I’ve always felt like the odd man out, not having a long-time close circle of friends. I’ve felt like a failure at friendship for so long.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤ it’s hard to find resources for adults with autism ❤ glad I found this video

[@evie9239]

In the past I’ve had very overwhelming, codependent friendships with people who have challenges with personality disorders, in which I often took on a caregiver type role and rationalise a lot of extreme emotions for them. Setting boundaries is really hard for me. I have just started being friends with another local autistic person who also shares animal interest and humour! It’s the first friendship development that has occurred naturally (through mutual friends) and I’m actually meeting up with

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@sadnhigh]

This should have wayyyyy more views perfectly said.

[@nessidoe8080]

Exactly my opinion for the whole "divergent voices" channel

[@sadnhigh]

@nessidoe8080 yes I agree too, more people around the world need to know and have more information on the subject of neurodivergency. Its really isolating when people don't take the time to understand differences.

[@nessidoe8080]

@sadnhigh I watch so many nd KZbin (purple ella for many years now) , but this series is so down to earth and explained in a calm manner that it's perfect to share with the neurotypicals.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@FMAeva]

Same. And people can say you're friends, but still no emotional connections. I don't understand. I cried for most part of the video. I'm exhausted.

[@spillshercoffee]

This conversation was very comforting. I identify with so much discussed here. It's lovely to know that "different" friendships can exist. And looking back, I can see how I actually had some friends like this, but lost a lot of those connections when I had my child, realizing that those friends simply cannot handle being around children (as I, too, could feel that way before becoming a mother). Sometimes even though we understand why some friendships fall away or don't last, it doesn't stop the grieving of those relationships and the deep desire to find them again.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@olafmeyer4812]

This is just so relevant. I have had all these people telling me that I am not good enough. Whether at work or social settings. It does make one feel rejected. The really important thing is that I need to back myself. That could be a very good start to cancel out some of those negative feelings. I have thought of this before, but it is nice to hear it from someone else. Thank You.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@azuregiant9258]

I’m autistic and actually did have a lifelong best friend. We were first introduced to each other as babies as our parents were friends. We would play make believe as children, both creative, we loved playing “getting lost” where we would try to find places in our local area we’d never been before, we both had a silly, surreal sense of humour. We just clicked and she was the only person, other than my family, I could spend long periods of time around. She died in 2018 from cancer and I’m so traumatised by that, I don’t even know how to grieve for her. This friendship was always enough for me throughout my life. I’ve tried to reach out and find friends, but it feels like a mission impossible. I’ve even joined an autistic group, but have no idea if anyone actually wants to be my friend, nobody seems to want to share their interests and I struggle to share my interests because I’ve lost the ability to enjoy these interests. It’s so much hard work, depleting my energy levels considerably, wondering if I’m just making a fool of myself, being open about my experiences as an autistic person, trying to make conversation. There’s also been other past traumas, such as an abusive boyfriend, a dad who became ill, which have also been catalysts for losing special interests….drawing and a love of movies….and these interests were so deep that I considered them to be my best friends. Not being able to focus, or get enjoyment from these interests anymore. I sometimes wish I’d never met Tor, my best friend, because my idea of friendship is now probably based on her and I miss her so much, the pain is awful. I’m writing these words here, hoping this is a safe place to release some thoughts and feelings.

[@emilylegrand6149]

Great stuff, every time! What a wonderful resource you're putting out!🥰

[@VoytenTechnologies]

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[@MarceloCohen1]

Thank you 3 for sharing this ❤

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@MollysADHDMayhem]

Thankyou for having me ❤

[@VoytenTechnologies]

Yes, thank you for having me too ❤

[@DietCokeAddict]

The school gates thing… I am going through that now. It is brutal. Worst part of my day, having to stand there among all the others and not being able to join in any chats, feeling that even people who know who I am mostly avoid even looking at me. A lot of the chat I overhear doesn’t even interest me, yet I still manage to feel upset about not being part of any.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

I hear you

[@raecampbellsstudio]

thank you for making us visible x

[@rsh793]

Love your t-shirt - it's awesome :) Love your voices as well - it's amazing that there are voices getting out - I took the step the other week to take a new channel to talk about the walk through being a counsellor from the bad old days when we were told we couldn't do it to now where - well - sometimes we still are - but it's a lot better now - and because of the voices going out there - it's giving voices to those of us who are older and a bit less brave to talk about things. It's wonderful that people are hearing others and to know that we're maybe different, but we're here and we are now being heard for others to be able to know the things that happen and how to navigate them and to learn ourselves as well.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@jonkas4542]

I've been studying this topic for quite some time now and so relate. I've taken many online tests and scored quite high. Next step is something official.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

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[@Jasmine-i2m]

Thank you for sharing ✨🌺✌️

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@VoytenTechnologies]

22:06 💯 we have to learn to handle our feelings.

[@jodeesimpson2294]

This is brilliant Ella. You have come a long way in the last few years. Love seeing you blossom into your true self. You've got a really good balance of content in this - the 'best friend' thing!! OMG so relatable and now realise I can stop aiming for this at age 50 lol

[@VoytenTechnologies]

I find that most people do not share my integrity to genuinely be a good person.

[@flashingturtle6505]

this really helps.

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤

[@mickeyiael9013]

❣️💌❣️🎃

[@VoytenTechnologies]

❤❤❤❤ 🌈🦕👚