At 55 this made me feel like such a old lesbian. I love watching these shows to see how things have changed…while the coming out and figuring it out feelings are the same the process is very different these days. I feel so happy that all the pain and suffering in my generation and the generations before have opened the doors for these types of open conversations for all to hear.
@dcinkc588 ай бұрын
I turn 65 in a few days and your comment totally resonates with me!
@nylyyyn79125 ай бұрын
❤my wife is 55 yo this year. Yes, I support and love you unconditionally ❤🎉😊
@savingJobutupaki5 ай бұрын
Thank you and thank you for this comment
@addie14965 ай бұрын
I wanted to stand up and cheer when she said that it's hard to figure out your sexuality "because it's normalized in our society for women to be miserable with men." That was my experience for sure.
@user-yt5cd7bd5s8 ай бұрын
You and your guests are always intelligent, insightful, and well spoken. Please never stop doing this, it's a rare speck of light in the dark night of today's social media.
@pridetherapy8 ай бұрын
I came out at 26 years old, and I’m now 49. It was a different time back then, but I always knew I wanted kids and a wife by the time I was 30. I now have 4 kids and loving life. Dream big! I adopted 3 kids and have one bonus kid.
@Raddiebaddie5 ай бұрын
Amazing ❤🎉
@Justanotherhuman115 ай бұрын
I have rewritten this comment 5 times lol. What y'all said about family planning and society, how it's dfferent etc.. i can relate. Im 36 and single and i forget how abnormal that is. Almost feel like I'm not my age. Also i dont have any queer community around me either and have no queer friends. But thanks to this podcast, i feel a bit apart of a community 😀
@peachesnscream8 ай бұрын
That horse / men comparison at the start was so real
@user-gs4ez5lf3e8 ай бұрын
I have just stumbled onto this lovely space! You and your guests provide articulate, refreshing, and fun conversations!! I am an older Gay Woman, 61, and seeing these discussions are a great platform for any Gay generation to watch and learn!! Thank you!! ❤️🙏😊🇨🇦🏳️🌈
@corskap8 ай бұрын
'there so much art and literature out there it would have saved me headaches.' ---10000000%
@rNeyshabur8 ай бұрын
What SJ suggests at 30:25 is a version of Internal Family Systems therapy that we can do on our own! I’m so pleasantly surprised how they both talk about (and normalised) the fact we all have different parts of us, and that we can just ask ourselves what we want and need💕 This whole episode is full of such amazing advice, loved it
@sarahbey13048 ай бұрын
this podcast is the best thing that I discovered recently, honestly ! keep it up !
@reneecowin9868 ай бұрын
“How did you not know you were gay?” Bc I grew up watching Everybody Loves Raymond and Family Guy where the wives hated their husbands.
@surehang5 ай бұрын
ei Mal! this is the 4th or 5th episode I watch and I need to say, you're such a good host that I had to watch a few episodes to realize all of the titles and themes are probably planned beforehand. Cause it's so natural, the way you conduct the conversation and how you let the guests talk, asks the right questions and even when you talk about yourself (which I love), it just flows very smoothly. It's a pleasure to watch! All I wanted to see when I came out 10 years ago.
@smoothinfldr69948 ай бұрын
Thank you for these podcasts. It is so comforting knowing there are others out there like you.
@ceceu98 ай бұрын
I gotta say that this episode is my favourite one because I relate to it the most. All that you two said is so so true! Like, I'm only 28, and only now Im letting myself to hear my tiny voice. She's been here for a long long time, I knew that something in me didnt click as much as I wanted to, and even what I want to do as a professional is making me question everything about myself and at the same time, just letting and giving myself permission to feel it all and absorve it and just getting in touch with my tiny voice. And it's hard. People and society like you said, they kinda press you to know yourself and having it all figure it out by this age and the 30s. I was getting this conversation with my younger brother that had so much courage than me and also knew it very soon because he listened to his tiny voice, and we were chatting about life and ourselves, when i said to him, "that I was starting to see myself in a different way, and i always felt it like that i was just scared about everything around me and inside me and how would i feel about it, and he was just like, who cares? You need to LISTEN to what you're feeling inside. It's scary at times, but your happiness is more important than anything else in this world. Your well being, the whole self, is what you should focus above everything else, specially the noise of society. Like screw it. Imma gonna BE here for you anytime as well as your real friends and real family." And that was the most beautiful and meaninful conversation that we had. We always have been close to each other, I always have been the one who protected him in any situation, and it's just beautiful how I can look at it, and seeing that now he's the one doing it for me. He's been together with his partner (that I call like a 2nd best friend to me) for almost 8 years, and they are the best couple I know. Like, I can't even explain how happy and fullfil they are. Like they are the couple I admire the most. They are IT to me you know? So yeah.... all this to say that this episode speaked to me in the most beautiful and meaninful way. And it clarifies so much to me. Thank you for this. Thank you for this podcast that has been a openig book for me. This is so well done! Congratulations to every single one of you, that are helping a lot of people with this opening conversations. This podcast is something special. ❤️
@rush_amanda8 ай бұрын
Why are all your friends so hilarious lolll I love it
@nikkirazal96478 ай бұрын
i stumbled across this podcast 2 days ago and have just the most recent upload left to watch and i just want to say mal,,, i LOVE the way you listen to what everyone has to say and facilitate these convos :’) ngl i was shook at how quickly i was drawn to each episode because i had never really heard of you or any of your guests, but your personality shines and you allow others to shine as well,,, i love love love everything about this podcast,, please keep it up!!!!
@MadeItOutPodcast8 ай бұрын
thank you for this comment 🥹 and for listening!! so happy you’re enjoying it❤
@alyssagraham79588 ай бұрын
My favourite episode so far ❤ SJ speaking on getting to know yourself through conversation, art, and friendships!
@shelbyteresak8 ай бұрын
Favorite episode so far, what a gem!!
@taracallaghan89358 ай бұрын
I have been looooving this podcast so much. The format is great, love the insightful and vulnerable conversations and also the humour. Also appreciate how you give yours guests space, too many podcasts have people interrupting and talking over each other. Also loved seeing Shannon on here, I remember following her tumblr when I was questioning my sexuality. Always watched her KZbin vids, as well as lesbian answers by Jenna (anyone else?? lol)
@shootfordstars8 ай бұрын
The wisdom throughout this conversation of truly getting to know yourself is palpable and relatable. This is my new favourite podcast. Thank you both for sharing. 🌻
@nikamarijanovic82137 ай бұрын
Honesltly I'm in love with this whole podcast, the way SJ talks and conveys her message is so touching. You can really see how much of an intelligent and well spoken woman she is. I'm 18 and I love my books, that being said I'd really appreciate if she could share some of her book recommendations :)
@Miss-O8 ай бұрын
God I love this podcast. Every episode has been fantastic and so relatable. What a crazy ride we are all on together in this life. Keep up the great work Mal and Co.
@ivonttr64618 ай бұрын
thank you for existing 🥰🥳
@intrepid_astronaut7 ай бұрын
Love this so much, also, the way I thought for a split second SJ was Dana from "The L Word".
@ulianaisinside8 ай бұрын
thank you very very much i will be thinking about things that were said on this podcast for the next week. thanks for letting us find out about SJ she is WONDERFUL. such a bright personality for real. this podcast means a lot to me, i will never be tired of thanking you for making it
@ChechuBrz8 ай бұрын
I've listened them all and I can say this is my absolute favorite episode. Everything that was said resonated beyond my sexuality. Great podcast 👏👏💜
@GayIRL6 ай бұрын
This podcast was like a mirror to my one tiny voice that was telling my I need to listen to my other tiny voice more! -- So many voices inside the head from all the outside stimulation, but learning how to stick to your gut deep within you is the key to making progress. Thank you for this ❤
@erinaddison57578 ай бұрын
Cannot remember the last time I laughed this hard at a video!! Can’t get enough of this channel 🤗
@magaisti8 ай бұрын
This episode is A1!! So many journal prompts will come from listening to these two talk
@MadeItOutPodcast8 ай бұрын
love this ❤
@jlcurran18 ай бұрын
What a beautiful conversation. Thank you for putting this out in the world. 💙🌈☀️
@annehochwald7 ай бұрын
I am so happy that I found this podcast. It really resonated with me. Thank you Mal & team!
@macarenaalmonte29598 ай бұрын
Loved how SJ explained each idea 🤩🤩 she made it simple to understand....❤
@isabellarussosavoldi17028 ай бұрын
literally everything she said resonated with me, i loved this episode sm!
@jannethernandez77627 ай бұрын
I hate the fact that masc presenting women are expected to be the "man" in the relationship, however we are still woman and want to be loved, and taken care of. We want to be pleased and feel protected. We really need to take care of masc presenting women with a fem personality.
@chrysteljean-baptiste29818 ай бұрын
Best guest so far !!! (they’re all great though)
@portialyons60962 ай бұрын
I wish I was someone so I could have a conversation with Mal!! I love the way you guide the conversation!!!
@terrydillon93238 ай бұрын
Thanks. So interesting.
@azel67398 ай бұрын
YES! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!
@rNeyshabur8 ай бұрын
Me too!! I’ve literally kept checking for this😆🥳🥳
@CalCon.988 ай бұрын
I am buying those books…. Please share more books we need to read….
@rosiedust93176 ай бұрын
SJ is so freaking hilarious and so articulate. Adore you both!
@mariyas.94098 ай бұрын
SJ is so charismatic 😻 my lesbian heart is trembling
@Baddie0178 ай бұрын
LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS!!!
@cocainekeiko6 ай бұрын
not gonna lie I have only been subscribed for four days to this podcast and had to change it to the bell "all subscription". solid supporter from New York City. cheers
@briceidaperez58568 ай бұрын
I did the am I gay thing when I was like 14. I am bi. I never felt straight but when i did it gave me 64% gay. I would panic and be more fem. I thought I can't like girls I'm such a fem even tho all my crushes were mostly girls.. literally lived in dulu land most of my life
@indomitusjane8 ай бұрын
It seems like a lot of straight women experimented with women in early adulthood and lesbians experimented with men 😅
@rabbitmush5 ай бұрын
seeing other people named SJ makes me so excited because i literally have never met any other person who goes by SJ (i also am an SJ)
@LavieNK8 ай бұрын
I love your podcast.
@flandradeg8 ай бұрын
Great episode! I'm absolutely fascinated by SJ's insights. I'd love to know more about that reading list! 😄
@MadeItOutPodcast8 ай бұрын
Patricia Highsmith (her diaries and notebooks) , Jenna Gribbon (coffee table book), Art & Queer Literature, pathetic Literature
@flandradeg8 ай бұрын
Thanks! 💜
@andrewmallory38545 ай бұрын
Freaks me out when someone is called Mallory as a given name.... Enjoying your podcasts hugely.
@saraxadam36598 ай бұрын
loving SJ... she's giving very Aquarius
@Non-Binary_Lesbian8 ай бұрын
Mal, how do you feel about non-binary lesbians?
@orangexmm8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much you girls are all awsome that made me wannna look up to you be an elegant and calm lesbian
@101forthefun58 ай бұрын
Her bringing the books is cracking me up lol
@LaLaLaLaLa82374 ай бұрын
Mal- at the end when you said how you met Matild, there's actually a lesbian fiction book about a woman who falls in love w the producer/host of the lesbian dating show she's on. Its called Forever by Kris Bryant. It's a really good book actually!
@-jellyfish8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this podcast ❤🙏
@c0ff5 ай бұрын
This podcast is so good! Is there anything like that for males?
@HotCakeX6 ай бұрын
I love this episode! 🙏😊
@ltrillium10006 ай бұрын
SJ is a stunningly beautiful woman. She is also incredibly centered. Lastly, you can see that Malory feeds off SJ's calmness and isn't so frenetic in her podcast.
@ltrillium10004 ай бұрын
Does SJ have a website for her art?
@elliekath25378 ай бұрын
loved this
@elisecalypso2 ай бұрын
what are the reading materials? love this episode
@chrrislowe99198 ай бұрын
The taxidermy rat bag truly took me out lmao 😂
@ClaraMarjorie8 ай бұрын
I feel like you can have your preference but masc women are beautiful.
@sarahbey13048 ай бұрын
Mal , the scarf you are wearing is gorgeous, what is it from ?
@MadeItOutPodcast8 ай бұрын
It’s actually a tie from SJ- I meant to have her tell the story on the pod but she had a family friend pass away and wound up with all of his ties which she then had a “silly tie party” and gave all of us one. SJ truly is one of my favorite humans🥹❤️
@sarahbey13048 ай бұрын
@@MadeItOutPodcast omg that's so sweet and creative 💛 . Invite her again to tell the story, you guys friendship and conversations are beautiful to see on this podcast
@loniprinsloo88013 ай бұрын
What about a chat about open/poly queer relationships?
@linwill17208 ай бұрын
I've seen those rat pencil bags!!! I think SJ is forgetting the other side lifestyle of taxidermy which are wildlife biologists who pick up road kill! I have friends who are road kill fiends and have some really cool skulls from that.
@emi79167 ай бұрын
I've seen the rat pencil bags!!!! they were recommended to me on etsy LOL
@ri3706Ай бұрын
Can you tell us what books that rainbow behind you is comprised of?
@fallywags8 ай бұрын
I love you two! 😂
@Mella.B2 ай бұрын
I’ve never had a ‘crush’ on anyone or anything like that, I like the look of certain men and women but I’m never affected by it, I like the idea of mariage and the idea of sex but I’ve never been romantically or sexually interested in an actual person before. Does anyone have any idea on what I’d be classified? Am I completely straight and just haven’t met anyone my type yet or?
@jlpressley13 ай бұрын
Can we get the names of the books she brought? :D
@littlecherry26665 ай бұрын
where is the reading list tho
@user-ym4ue9bb8i8 ай бұрын
Which reality show?
@angelwin12432 ай бұрын
Good
@ArtichokeHunter5 ай бұрын
"don't deny yourself the exploration of that" stings when she's the one making that choice but alas
@user-wt6qf4sw9m3 ай бұрын
Apak ok❤
@danceswithcoyotes82738 ай бұрын
Honestly, it wasn't hard to figure out at all. I knew at 11 years old. I had a crush on a girl, and she was talking to me one day, and this fantasy of me kissing her popped in my head. Then maybe a few days later, I was talking to her again, and I had this very explicit fantasy pop in my head of going down on her. I was 11 years old. And then ALL my wet dreams were with girls. I didn't know that it had a name. I didn't know that it was called "homosexuality" or "gay". I found that out a year later at age 12. Once I knew what "gay" meant, I knew it applied to me in about 2 seconds (maybe less). So I don't get how some girls don't figure it out until college? Something is up with that. It was EASY to figure out. What I think is, if you didn't know in high school or right at the start of puberty, you're not as gay as you want to be. These quizzes. I think they're stupid. If you have to take a quiz, you're not as gay as you want to be. I never took those dumb quizzes. No quiz was necessary.
@Meredith_Paige8 ай бұрын
This comment dude… Did you listen to anything they said? Consider yourself very lucky that it was easy. I’m very gay and didn’t realize this until my late 30’s after being married for 14 years to the most incredible man and my sweet daughter. The last thing I want to do is flip our lives upside down. Deep, deep repression which caused so many health issues and other problems along the way. Your upbringing and how safe it was to see your truth is massive. Like Mal, I grew up in Texas and going to church. There was no room for this. Zero representation. Compulsory heterosexuality, internalized homophobia… it’s a very real experience and far more common than you realize. Telling people they are less gay based on when they come to terms with it is nothing short of ignorant. Support your community. If only I had known at 12…
@danceswithcoyotes82738 ай бұрын
@@Meredith_Paige Yes. I did listen. I grew up a Fundamentalist (Baptist) Christian home. South Carolina. There was no room for homosexuality. No, it wasn't safe to see my truth. It had to be repressed. Compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia. 100% real. When I came out it was a train wreck. I faked straight for 13 years, and I knew I was faking it. I didn't know another gay person until the age of 24. Not one. ALL my friends were/are straight! Little old me, all alone, trying to pray away the gay and faking straight. But I still knew I was same-sex attracted, and I was terrified and mortified. I was gay before I knew what they called it or even that it was taboo. I'm not buying these excuses for why some women don't know, and I've dated women who didn't know until later. The women who knew later have a level of bisexuality (and that's fine). But now the heterosexual side is being repressed.
@SunFlower-nq7de8 ай бұрын
@@Meredith_Paige don't you think all religious gods are fake and man-made cuz how can a true God punish you for being a gay when he created you in this way, it's not your fault, and how can he be disgusted by seeing two humans in love.
@deboravolpini33418 ай бұрын
Not relevant
@Meredith_Paige8 ай бұрын
@@SunFlower-nq7de yeah that’s a tricky one. These days I’m more spiritual than religious but I definitely hear you. I believe in a higher power but it’s not the same god people speak of in certain churches. Any religion/church who stands by that… I agree it’s just not real or something has been lost in communication along the way. That’s so fear based and naive.
@MrRobbie600038 ай бұрын
Whats SJ’s full name
@Raddiebaddie5 ай бұрын
7:04 5 on the Kinsey scale is pretty gay tho
@user-rm8bp1tj6e5 ай бұрын
Met my wife at work and we have been together for 30 years 😉
@PeachNEPTR8 ай бұрын
I just want to say that I have an uncle David who married a man named David. It’s a good bit.
@dianerourke46095 ай бұрын
Easy to say in your generation
@yvesjr19678 ай бұрын
Can we have a trans person on your podcast. I really love all your episodes.
@NoName-vy8vu8 ай бұрын
Do gays confuse sexual attraction with sexuality?
@NoName-vy8vu5 ай бұрын
@cmm917 Sexuality is a human construct. Try again.
@NoName-vy8vu8 ай бұрын
What is the biological goal for every living organism?