How to get someone to like you

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Supercharge your likability and learn more about it in the article: www.scienceofpeople.com/likeable-get-people-to-like-you/

[@suneetrachapudi6903]

I LIKE YOU

[@doubledoc7807]

I like you, Vanessa..

[@Dmm3333]

I’m a human and animal magnet 🧲 but my husband son and fiancé barely look at me on the eyes when having a conversation with my husband or in a family meal. They only talk to my husband and the rest of the family. I have tried now for 3 years to get closer to them and be friends but I just gave up. I believe I don’t have to be begging to be liked by them when the rest of people around me love me.

[@marygiy7524]

@@suneetrachapudi6903I.

[@geejae4243]

be careful of attracting narcs and people who talk to you because you're such a great listener- but who wont genuinely listen back when it comes to your end.

[@sallymay3643]

TRUE !

[@melanielambrecht6530]

Too late

[@minerolargo8657]

What's a narc

[@59thanks61]

Ya, also be careful with listening too much because, sometimes people just want to "Dump" on you.

[@loratoad]

Being likeable doesn't mean you have to listen to people who provide no value to you, hog the conversation and reciprocate interest. People also like people who have healthy boundaries. It's not authentic to keep listen to someone you're not interested in.

[@Alezcollection]

God, I can’t even tell you how much your videos have helped me in just a span of 2 days. I found you literally two days ago and followed everything you’ve said so far and I’m already saying hello to strangers, making conversation with strangers, smiling more, and just feel overall more comfortable in my own skin. I’m typically very shy, introverted, and would always just walk around with a serious face to avoid talking to people. Boy, have things changed. Thank you.

[@varshboorugadda2327]

W

[@Alezcollection]

@@varshboorugadda2327 Yes.

[@varshboorugadda2327]

@@Alezcollection how you doing now bro?

[@luckyboy2933]

it’s been 6 months… how are you now?

[@Alezcollection]

@@luckyboy2933 I’m doing way better than I was back then. I feel significantly more comfortable in my own being. Additionally, I tried a 100-interaction-challenge at the same time and this also helped a lot. I’ve excelled a lot both in the workplace and outside of it. It’s great. Watching these videos was a really good starting point for me.

[@Amoona851]

1. Use signaling (show liking) 2. We like people who like us ( the more we like people, the more people like us) 3. Use the similarity attraction affect 4. Highlight similarities ( we like people who are similar to us) 5. Be the real deal ( be real)

[@Poetry4Peace]

YESSIRRR when i get back to being in a social situation i need to do this ive locked myself in my mind lmao

[@anniem2777]

The more we like someone the more they like us is a lie

[@pro12222222]

1 signal likability 2 If you like more people, more people like you 3 Highlight similarities

[@CCCC-tq8yo]

Whow everyone hates me now

[@shaanbullet]

you missed some points bud

[@soultears9736]

Why do people like I hate everything then? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@hanestshirtsarecool]

The last time I said "hey baby girl,,, I like you😉" I was arrested🙁

[@CapCrunch45]

The fourth point about being real reminds me of some childhood wisdom the late Mister Rogers taught: “You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yes! Love it. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@mohanpanickerpanicker8767]

"I like you. Let's be friends" The good olden days

[@msgirly6827]

Right😂

[@lunamoonlight5102]

Is that what they did back in the day?

[@zephyr1327]

@@lunamoonlight5102 probably means when he/she were young

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

That's some weak tea dude. Lmao 🤣

[@blackpurple9163]

Now that'll put me in the wrong spot

[@iamhope8556]

I am over coming depression, always felt like people just do not like me. I am going to use your teaching to become better, thank you

[@ariannaturtles6489]

Same

[@Kteeee]

I hope you’ve made it through your depression 2 years later but just wanted to give a tip. Something I learned myself at a very young age and has served me well my whole life (I haven’t even watched this video yet) This tip is also a great way to help with depression because in a way ur helping somebody else. Putting your own problems and worries aside to listen to someone else’s story makes you feel valuable, appreciated and gives u a sense of purpose, which is what all of us are looking for. Why do u think so many people who suffer from depression become therapists?! ‘Give a man and why and he’ll endure almost any how’ -Nietzsche So here’s my tip: If you treat every person you meet as if they are an unopened book filled with interesting ideas, stories, quirks, skills and things you can learn and then you simply ask them about themselves in a genuine manner and show interest as if ur about to learn something new, interesting and useful, people will talk your ears off about themselves and their lives. Then just relate to them with a few things they’ve said but keep it at a minimum and don’t talk too much about yourself. Keep the focus on them. Be interested. Be understanding. Don’t be judgmental. Try to relate to what they are saying. People will remember that u made them feel interesting and useful and wanted and understood. All the things everyone wants to feel. They won’t like u. They’ll love u. And they won’t forget you especially in this narcissistic age we live in. This rarely doesn’t work in my opinion. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone is looking for someone to tell it to. Our epidemic of loneliness is due to an epidemic of narcissism and self-centeredness. Everyone is too busy caring about themselves to ask how their neighbor is doing and quietly everyone is crying alone in their bedrooms. If you become that person who genuinely wants to learn about someone, they will think very highly of you and it will take the focus off yourself, which will help with depression. Just my thoughts hope ur doing better these days

[@DynastyTrickDogs]

@@Kteeee That is such a nice idea. Thanks for sharing it with us

[@Poetry4Peace]

@@Kteeee defo need to take the focus off myself waaay moreee just one MAJORE problemo is that i need frnds and people to talk too!! Im trying bumble BFF, wink and whatever else i must overcome it all or ill DIE a thousand deaths every week. I do consider myself to be a keen listener but with my loneliness since the pandemicos! I really need to be able to express my probelms with myself but getting to know someone and laughing with them is my big goal so simple, many take this for granted IM SURE😢

[@POPDATA]

I think it's better to like yourself truly before going out and measuring your life according to what others think of you.

[@tammycompton4355]

POP DATA, you do have a very good point & Sometimes we should work on liking ourselves 1st & many seem to judge us if we don't wish to or for whatevr reasons,cannot put ourselves out there for the liking.& thanks for seeing this 1 other important side.God wants us to like ourselves 1st,& then others,Aftr we hold him the Highest King..

[@curtisfoster4256]

Vanessa’s the real, educated deal. Every word from her mouth is pure gold.

[@amb3rmous3]

Being liked is very important. You can love someone you don’t like. That says something lol

[@the-real-jinxx]

the realest thing i have ever read

[@lilycai7614]

I like Vanessa. She have that niceness about her that seems genuine.

[@IM-uh5tk]

2:05 use signalling, be direct and don't hide your feelings . 4:43 if you like more people, more people will like you . 5:43 we like people who are like us so highlight your similarities . 8:07 be real/yourself

[@amamuffin]

These days it’s all about boundaries which is why people remain to themselves

[@mrsmagicalmonica]

Like is the appetizer of love. That’s spot on! Vanessa, I consistently enjoy your videos.

[@soniasinghinternational]

I’m hungry for appetizers now. 😋

[@WILLYLYNCH.]

@@soniasinghinternational that sounds sexual.

[@bigthonk4904]

WILLY LYNCH no it doesn’t, ur just a perv

[@tinfoilcynic6042]

big thonk Why am i creasin at the reply 😂

[@ejl8412]

@@bigthonk4904 no hes right it does. 99% of it is cause of the emoji she used.

[@aprilpointblank]

The likeability loop is sooo real. Good insight. Everyone’s scared to make the first move.

[@adityasangore5323]

If someone like us sometimes we feel that people will have more expectations from us or vice versa.. Sometimes we run away because we feel pressured by them as they like us..

[@jeanpaulfiligrana6182]

This woman is an angel. You have changed my life one video at a time, thank you for opening my eyes

[@geewhiz747]

Don't become obsessed with being liked to the point where you get into "pushover" territory

[@lynnec3372]

Very useful information and I can honestly say that I have made the mistake of thinking my proficiency as a dependable, skilled worker would soar me to new heights and make me totally likeable in my profession. Not so.. you have to mingle, schmooze, laugh, relate, smile and relax around people you work with while at the SAME time, keep yourself securely insulated from those who have no intention of returning the like/love.. and with time, it becomes effortless I'm sure.

[@GNICHO]

Watching her is so refreshing because she is genuinely really easy to like

[@jimmykaushal9982]

Amazing person. Whole time she smiled and she sounded so sincere towards helping everyone. Each tip makes sense and she made it so simple to understand. 👏🏻great work

[@sophiasuerth1964]

I love how you worded the “like circle”, I agree it’s best to be direct when you like someone, you do miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You need to voice what you feel.

[@zephyr1327]

I think the thing that made me like this youtuber the most was her constant smile whilst talking. It made me feel safe and reassured.

[@alaynabaker9872]

this woman makes me feel safe

[@meforpresident4514]

This is why a lot of shows don’t make sense, being likable usually makes you more popular, but on tv, people who are rude and mean somehow become the popular kid. That’s also a reason why a lot of people are jealous of the “popular” person. Because of how liked they are by everyone.

[@shelizabethomas]

The second point is so relatable. I often find myself liking most people I meet, and I seem to get along with a lot of people I meet. This does not however translate into sustained friendships, I guess that effort is more...effortful

[@adriancurtin6012]

Information she gives out is golddust.Thought I was the only one who analysed their day after it was over.

[@jazminsilverplans4933]

This was good. I just recently stepped out of my shell and started a KZbin. It’s my way of liking myself more. And this video just boosted me a little more. Thank you 🙏

[@prik4727]

Sometimes this isn’t true. If you like people too much they think you are easy or low value and then they disrespect you and take you for granted. But if you’re a bit aloof and hard to get then people actually respect you and want to earn your ‘like’. Human beings are insane.

[@1975KyleDavid]

I've learned a lot about talkers to recognize someone who has low self-esteem. It's one thing to have an open conversation that includes everyone and something else when someone talks primarily about one's self. Those who talk about themselves all the time lack confidence--I stay away from them.

[@FromAgonyToLight]

I have extreme social phobia and an anxiety disorder, just trying to show people I like them (just friendship-wise) drains me and freaks me out to the point where I just want to run to a bathroom and throw up. This video helps people who are able to express confidence I feel, but I can still appreciate the tips.

[@lizzie1897]

Transparency, sincerity, capacity to understand

[@joelover2631]

You are way underrated, the talent you have and work you do is amazing.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you so much!

[@joelover2631]

@@ScienceOfPeople and your beautiful.

[@ismaelortizsanchez3578]

In summary Dear Vanessa, I really enjoy watching you and like so much because of many many things and values you represent but most of all is because "YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE & OUT" and I mean it with capital letters. Thank You so much for your Generosity, Honesty and much more qualities... GOD BLESS YOU FOREVER....!!!

[@henrikr3435]

I think you hold on to such a great likability, and we do not have much in common. But I still like your apperance much

[@mygreatestdayever]

This just makes me feel good! I'm ready to go out and like everybody I meet!

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

Some people want to just be left alone. Be careful who you talk to. Look for social cues. Like if they aren't directly looking at you they don't want to talk to you. They are just being polite.

[@izzzy14]

Basically be open and authentic , so simple yet so hard to do

[@CoenVazquez]

The likability loop!!! OMG YESSSS. People do this so often, I have done it in the past, and no one knows how anyone feels. Hahaha... that part made me laugh because it's so true. Now I've gotten in the habit of doing just as you suggest and I immediately tell people straight out "hey I really like you!" and I give genuine and unique compliments as often as I can like "Hey, you're really creative in your solutions in a way that makes me really giddy. I like that and you!" FIRST BUMP. I noticed that as I grow older... for some reason I have moved from high fiving people to fist bumping. I've noticed that people get more excited about fist bumps. What do you think?

[@elvinaguiremolina]

True

[@elleellis1063]

Fist pump is what boxers do to show sportsmanship before they beat each other.😇

[@aneliseisfree3602]

@@elleellis1063 LOL !!! 😆

[@chanthana7694]

I could be the minority here, but I personally like fist bumps over high five. It feels more friendly as if that person is your close friends. On the plus side, you catch less germ from fist bumps over high five, but that's not what I'm going for. Lol

[@CoenVazquez]

@@chanthana7694 I agree! And it's so much more fun.

[@rtem1sFowl]

Some of these tips are good to keep in mind especially when working in a job environment which can potentially help an employee find success. Awesome video and keep up the good work.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you, my goal is to help you guys in your careers! I'm glad you enjoyed the video! =)

[@familyguy6668]

Vanessa your amazing, empowering and optimistic it’s almost contagious thank you so much for your hard word much love can’t wait to see more and I’m so buying your book ❤️

[@dundustrendz]

When you said that you really like you ..I felt so happy

[@Breeannful]

Seriously though, I don't let some people know I like them, because I don't want to talk to them.. I like some of my neighbors fine, I just don't want to have conversations with them...

[@chrgutierrez]

Where have you been all this years? You rock Vanessa!!!!

[@MS-vz7pg]

She's pretty. She's sassy. She's smart. What more can you ask for? She's one in a million.

[@bypig]

The first tip alone helped me more than all of my years of searching KZbin for social skills. It’s so simple and make sense, thank you

[@motosniper77]

I'm in love with you Vanessa 😁 ..... and NOT because of your stunning good looks , but because of your work to make the World a better place😘Thank you for what you do !🤗

[@sumeeet4u]

I have a different opinion on "we like people who are like us". I would think we like people who have quality that we lack or aspire to have. But nevertheless, great video.

[@jimanderson8470]

Vanessa seems easy to like and communicates well. Really expressive with her hands. Funny I haven't seen her before now.

[@MsBizzyGurl]

Too many implied commitments in cultivating likeability. Just be friendly. Be kind, open, cheerful and try to help others succeed.

[@JessicaFayToday]

"Get real on what you love." 💙

[@ScienceOfPeople]

❤❤

[@chiefhahahaicantstoplaughi5133]

To be frank, i love your gesture and eloquency .you have really really impacted in me 😍

[@theeternalnow7408]

I can watch and hear her talking for all day.

[@nasradhool6072]

I really love you Vanessa Van Edwards every single video of yours give me a hope and love and confidence you are one of my best teachers 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@teshemabrowne2391]

These were great. Ive started a new class after a long period of being out of school and interacting with other humans was beginning to feel like a game of chess. Ill be using some of these tips to help people see past my resting bitch face and make some new connections :) Thanks Vanessa. By the way, your smile plus the red lippy is doing everything for me. Beautiful.

[@abyssmanur3965]

This is why smokers get along when confined to the smokers area. i've had some great conversations with total strangers who would probably not chat with you in other circumstances.

[@mr.n476]

Factsss!

[@BoereViking]

I'm not smoker, not cigarettes anyway. And I always sit with the smokers met some good friends like that.

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

Smokers are disgusting human beings always throwing their cigarette buts out of the car. It's the number trash item in the entire world! Just disgraceful 😞. The world isn't your fucking ashtray.

[@theman2017inc]

Good video and I’ll take the nuggets of wisdom from this, not a but moment yet however all that you mentioned about hiding one’s likes of others or even attraction for other people is the stuff of drama particularly “subtext”. Very few people are on the nose or straightforward and/ or authentic. As a writer who wants to be better when comes to people hiding the truth from others (or even one’s self) I want to become a master of “subtext” be psychological and/ or dramatic. Fantastic video Vanessa 🙏🏾

[@samain1804]

She's like the messenger of life itself =)

[@bredman9348]

wow. after watching an uncountable umber of these types of videos for he past few months, nothing has helped me or made more sense to me than this video! I instantly understood why people came off as not liking me. it wasn't because im a terrible person, but because I'm trying to play it cool so I don't wanna make people think I like them, just in case they don't like me. I realized I should smile and say high in the halls and assume that people like me because whats the harm in doing that. I could look back on all the social experiences I've deemed as good or bad and asses why that was so, just based off of this video! Great Job👍😀

[@Keyumiz]

She has a very calming voice.

[@firstname2095]

that person standing in the middle of the room seems really like able and fun to be around.

[@annatte9624]

Listening to you heals depression

[@mike-yp1uk]

I am impressed with the speaking skills and gestures made during this presentation. The excitement of her speech was clear in vocal inflection. Give us all your tips on speech. Lol

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! We have tons of tips on this on my website. Here's an article you may find helpful! www.scienceofpeople.com/public-speaking-tips/

[@upsty6499]

Overtly empowered, articulately curious with limitless powerful potential ideas flowing out 🤗🕊️

[@sarast7768]

You deserve more my dear💖. You are one of my favorites. You changed my life and I REALLY LIKE YOU.

[@graceguerzon8347]

1. Use signaling - i like you. 2. If you like more people. More people will like you. 3. Similarity attraction effect 4. Hightlight Similarities- Hunt for same likes 5. Be the Real Deal- Sincerity, transparency and capacity for understanding. Like you. Love you. Working on yourself. You're awesome.

[@gauravv3367]

The presentation of your videos are beyond perfection. I don't lose interest at all throughout video 🤗

[@MrWeiden1991]

this Vanessa is the representative of God.. People listen her. she wants everyone to live on this planet with respect... she is angel

[@ash_luscious]

Be direct tell them you like them If you like more people more people will like you We like people who look and are like us Look and comment on similarities Be real ppl like sincerity transparant capacity for understanding Ppl will reciprocate

[@juancarloshernandez-perez2985]

I don't like you, I love you. You're awesome and enjoy watching your videos.

[@indridcold8433]

I am afraid to be liked or even be socially engaged. My goal is to be invisible in public. Nobody knows me in real life. This keeps me safe.

[@vladislavno]

In the end, your safety will turn to emptiness and consume you. Better to unsafe and not alone. Trust me on that one.

[@natjown]

I'm copying her hand motions and it's like a workout for me lol. Even though I'm disabled, this is fun 😆

[@tylerdurdeb7956]

I love your videos. You also have a 'likable' smile. 😊

[@Bee.dubz1]

Thanks for calling me awesome Vanessa I think you are pretty awesome too!

[@asterixe1]

Physical attractiveness goes hand-in-hand with likeability. Studies show prettier people are seen as more warm, charismatic, risk taking, and any positive characteristic. I like everybody, they all dislike and look down on me. If people dislike you, they'll claim you have nothing in common with them, even if you have a lot in common. But if they like you, they'll claim you have a lot in common, even if you really have very little in common with them.

[@beans9019]

MoonInSky it also is paired with confidence, you need to be confident in yourself too because that’s attractive to other people. If you give off signals of insecurity, people will pick up on it

[@jakop8029]

I think people should stay the way they are everyone have different personality and unique talents and gifts God has given them to all people.

[@Mmmmehedi]

I wish i could talk like you :( Thank you so much for the info 🙏

[@thesoliloquist1940]

Thank you for confirming what I've known, that people don't consider the actual skills of a person when they decide to keep or drop them from a job and it 'is' all determined by their emotions/bias 😒 I don't understand this 'feeling' world.. use your thinking brains..

[@benholm5727]

You have to much power! I like you already 😂

[@magesense456]

Vanessa, you break down the science and make everything you say applicable.

[@marianapereira7951]

Me watching this video in quarantine knowing that after I will have difficulties talking to people👁👄👁

[@elizabethlewis3817]

I wish I had this information years ago! I've always suffered; being awkward, having anxiety. I was recently diagnosed with STPD, it explains why I'm so off-putting to people.

[@freeminded7790]

You don’t sound to me like you have STPD. Try not to give in to it too much even if you are diagnosed with it. I believe you can over come it hopefully better then me!! I was just reading up on it hoping it wasn’t something I had. Although I can relate to the first couple of things stated about the disorder… I am not delusional or believe in superstitions, having super powers, and I don’t use odd phrases etc. I just feel really uncomfortable in social settings, I’m scared of not being liked/accepted and it’s due from being bullied so much in my past by people and myself.. I also have very low self esteem and half the time I never know what to say… But as soon as I’m with someone that I am comfortable with like my family or close friends I’m the funniest, most loving open creative person ever. I really hate it, I wish I could show that to the world but something doesn’t let me 😥

[@SweetCaroline2702]

I don't know why but this made me cry

[@ruggiapeace]

Vanessa, I'm not sure what I just watched. BUT I LIKE YOU!

[@warzanCheecho]

You are amazing, keep going 🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️ I am just watching you these days. It makes to keep watching everyday 🦅😍💪🏽

[@learningtalent]

She’s so amazing

[@missweenieboys2]

I liked this video. I need to work on liking myself. I understand now why my crush hasn't talked to me yet.

[@mar-lisakemp6292]

weenieboys 2 use this mantra- I like me. I like me. I like me say it all the time in your head till it becomes autonomous then watch the magic happen. Your so likable now because you are likable

[@birdlover6842]

They are treated better as well as having a more pleasant job, etc.

[@stevenphillips9656]

This lady really should have skipped the intro because I thought it was going to be boring and I just happen to watch it but it's pretty good

[@WolfRhymesEntertainment]

highly likeable people are not superheroes, those are actors. a superhero is secretive and lives a very quiet life

[@jhmrem]

Don't diss the cilantro!

[@awesometimmy8124]

to me, cilantro is parsleys narcissistic brother. taste like poison. i don't want to be in the same room with it.

[@jenniferlavigne9006]

I also sneeze when I eat chocolate!! I’ve always thought I was the only one!!!!

[@honesty8082]

People watching the Video on Likeablility & still 295 disliked the video. I like you Vanessa Van Edwards. ✔️♥️

[@lila-oy9fi]

Damn this woman is so likable!

[@alnrc77]

When you talk about the popular kids in school, it wasn’t like that when I went to high school, you were likeable if your parents were rich or anything to do with material things, you could be crazy pretty but if you weren’t rich, then forget it

[@stevekrok]

The 'High Five's' in this video were awesome! Super likeable.

[@tamekiawashington9131]

I had a frustrated tone with my kids, that changes today

[@farfetched9296]

Smiling and smelling extra good will attract ppl to you...they will conversate with you...I love hi-fives...

[@sanjaygurjar9650]

One of the best video on the subject of likability.

[@waleedmaghrabi3878]

You are a marvelous gift to people in need to grow up their style of life 🌷🌷