Viral TikTok Compilation Vol. 1 | @Speechprof

[@trenchrock]

Emotions are not masculine or feminine, they are HUMAN

[@everything5066]

say it louder

[@MG-bs5mr]

@@everything5066 it louder

[@everything5066]

@@MG-bs5mr lol

[@thespagooti]

Y E S .

[@sir-subpar703]

🎉

[@olive4naito]

The very first guy didn't believe his girlfriend deserved to get a good night's sleep. That's really awful.

[@Thegraylady]

Red flag he is possibly a narcissist!

[@sannita2007]

I work evenings and stay up late. All my friends work “9-5” so when I get home they are already going to bed. I send them memes etc. Before I fall asleep to make them laugh in the morning. And I know their phones are in sleeping mode.

[@LaceyMyriah]

The one about not showing weakness to your female partner… really broke my heart. My previous partner left an enduring mark with his “I don’t need your help” comments. He wouldn’t open up to me about the things that mattered and he committed suicide in the end. And no one saw it coming. PEOPLE IN GENERAL LIKE HONESTY AND VULNERABILITY. But you already know that, Prof. Thank you for making these videos!

[@lilykat.]

Actually, the same thing happened to me almost 11 months ago now, except it was my dad. Recently. I was 18. "Being strong" for/in front of others causes nothing but pain. Nobody saw it coming with us, either. One day I get back to my dorm from class 550 miles away from home, and my entire immediate family is there. It's... a shock. I'm so, so sorry for your loss and the pain this must have caused you.

[@anastasiaanautodidact9856]

You know... hearing those men is like hearing Chucky telling me: Hi. I'm Chucky. Wanna play? I am literally not angry. I'm just terrified and I wanna run to a corner or just hide somewhere... because I don't want them to kill me💔 Even if I joined CrossFit, I don't want to hurt anybody with any muscles, so I just wanna run away into oblivion... Maybe bring women with me and clone babies in Antartica... or just pray to Jesus for an invisibility superpower... because we're just basically borderline scared. Like when you're petrified when a seemingly calm teacher is about to pick you... I wanna pray for those men. Because I feel like I should "Love my enemies, bless them that curse me, do good to them that hate me, and pray for them which despitefully use me, and persecute me" God, I pray you save those men. I pray you heal their physical and spiritual minds. I pray that they might know You and know that You're looking for the least among everyone, me being the least. In Your eyes, the least among everybody else is the greatest and I pray You open their hurt eyes and they know that. I pray you take their pain away and carry it, even physically instead of them. I want you and pray You love them like you loved the Prodigal son and kissed him when he finally came back to you, ruined, broken and destroyed. Help me love those men because on my own, I can't. I only learn from you. Help them see me as human. and don't let other women get beaten. You could take a broken stony heart and turn it into a heart of flesh. I pray most importantly that you give me the grace to love them and endure pains with you and in the same way You did for me💔

[@anastasiaanautodidact9856]

@@LittleConifer Omg thank you 😭😭 felt so disturbed that some men are the victims of their own selves

[@celiashen5490]

{{{HUG}}} This is here for everyone. Even the ones who aren't. I'm very sorry it's not more.

[@alosialee]

I am so so sorry for your loss. That is incredibly heartbreaking.

[@justacoginthefkery]

In my experience: 1. Guys more often than not put & keep themselves in the "friendzone" through their own inaction & not expressing their interest. OR they place the decent woman who likes them on the backburner, expecting her to be waiting after he's done chasing snatch & ends up disappointed when she's not. 2. MEN are the ones who tell other men not to cry or show emotion. Women LOVE when a guy is willing to be vulnerable with them because it shows trust. 3. The "only wanting the 20s" later in life tells me a guy hasn't grown TF up OR has deeper, more serious issues.

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@everything5066]

third one is disguised pedophilia

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

Number 3 is also a recipe for being alone. Young women don’t respond well to old men hitting on them

[@justacoginthefkery]

@@SkycometAnimeVamp yeah it's very rare that a young woman really enjoys attention from older men without having her own selfish interests in mind. I know when I was younger, I knew of a few gals who dated older guys BUT only for various benefits... places to party, alcohol, gifts, etc. The guys were usually being made fun of for being old & easily played behind their backs too.

[@tohrurikku]

For anyone who tries to follow that bartender's advice, if you are bugging someone that much after two drinks you are being too pushy and they are giving you that number, not because they like you, but as a way to get you to stop and just leave them alone. You did not win points with them. Plus, it is very likely that she did not give you her actual phone number. You are just making yourself look like a creepy stalker.

[@HaleyJo1992]

I thought of that too. How does that bartender know she gave over her actual phone number? Or that anything at all came from that exchange?

[@Tijggie82]

Not to mention, lots of women claim to have a boyfriend to try and get rid of annoying men. Doesn't mean they actually have a partner.

[@laurad1487]

Give him dial a prayer

[@OGK-1414]

I give my number all the time but then never answer the phone.

[@peterbonucci9661]

@@OGK-1414 my daughter does something like that. She only answers texts. Also, she was (is?) stalked at some point. (There are some things you don't share with your Dad.)

[@trenchrock]

#1 reason I got divorced: My ex was so focused on being "strong", "controlled" and "unemotional" that we had zero intimacy, passion, compassion or connection in our relationship. Relationships REQUIRE you to be vulnerable and communicate your feelings.

[@greg-op2jh]

That's awful :(

[@elleembee6335]

I'm glad you're no longer in that situation. Both partners should be doing the emotional work in a relationship. One refusing to just makes it hellish.

[@kathrinbauer5358]

I had a period where men, when we were on the first dates, just started telling me everything horrible in their lives, complaining, looking for me to take care of their emotions etc. They showed no genuine interest in me, but needed a therapist, a mommy or in some cases wanted to manipulate me into not holding them accountable for misbehaviour, because they had such a hard life. If this is what they think showing their emotions or being weak is, I get why they made the experience that it doesn't work. If you just expect that others take care of your needs and show no interest in them, that's not flattering or attractive.

[@AnnaGirardini]

I dated a guy (oh boy, still ashamed about it) that on one of our first conversations told me The Story of His Crazy Ex-Girlfriends. And I write it in caps because that's how he told it, like if it was an established tale, or the title of a book and as I was trying to stir the conversation into other themes he went back to it with a "You are not listening". How did I ended up dating him? Well, I was in a shitty moment of my life and he got good at love-bombing.

[@spolch9482]

@@AnnaGirardini Oh, oh big red flags right there. This and the love-bombing.

[@susannehuber3996]

Amen sister. Same here. 😢

[@kathrinbauer5358]

@@susannehuber3996 Maybe it's a German phenomenon. It didn't happen as much elsewhere. (Based on your name, I assume you are German or from a German-speaking country)

[@RoonMian]

Is this the German corner of this comment section? Hi, I am Marcel, I do not want to talk about any ex-girlfriends 😁

[@Shadow25720]

0:00 I translate that to english:" I'm an narcissistic asshole who want's his girl available and under control 24/7."

[@lilykat.]

I translate it to "i'm a p*ssy who thinks i'll die if my girl doesn't text me within a few hours" like fuck off, she has her own life to live 💀

[@callmeneutrino7136]

@@lilykat.ok, but can we PLEASE stop using that term to disparage a man as weak? A) it reinforces the obnoxious notion that women are just walking vaginas, not actual people with minds and autonomy B) it's calling him female, which you yourself derogatorily translate that as "weak"

[@sabrinanelsen8660]

I have only seen my husband cry a handful of times in our 18 years together, and I can tell you that those moments are some of my most cherished memories of him. He felt capable of sharing his burden with me and trusted that I would listen and help him through it. I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. So, no, those moments don’t make me less attracted to my husband or whatever toxic masculinity is trying to sell.

[@Caroline1261]

We have been married 41 years and I've only seen my husband cry twice. But he comes from a family who kept saying: "Men don't cry". It's very sad and unfair really.

[@rainecolubio]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years. He also came from a family who don’t cry. Even his sister doesn’t really cry. Every time he shows me his genuine heightened emotion, may it be happiness, excitement, and even sadness, I feel more loved because it makes me happy knowing that he trusts me enough to show me this side of him.

[@jana731]

It's not just about crying. Most of the time, when men feel like not being able to show emotions it's not just the negative ones. Like my boyfriend showed almost no attraction to me in the first half year of our relationship. I was convinced he didn't love me. I almost broke up with him because of that. We had an actual emotional conversation about it and he admitted that he didn't know how to show his love but he really loves me and wants the relationship. So he learned. And now I feel like he's even better at this than I am.

[@Caroline1261]

@@jana731 Yes! I feel like I showed him too, or maybe he knew already but was never permitted to show his emotions (very British kind of family). He is very sensitive and a wonderful musician. He has come very far from the first time I met him (41 years ago)

[@whatTFisThis]

I find it hilarious that people think girls become less attracted when a guy cries in front of them... meanwhile most of us feel more connected to them emotionally and want to give them a hug

[@vangu2918]

Yes, this comment here.

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@amiablehacker]

Exactly. How many times have things gotten hot and heavy with my husband after we've both broke down and shown vulnerability? It's hot.🥵 (Not that we push each other for sex when we're feeling raw emotionally. Only if we're up to it!)

[@patrickmccurry1563]

Some women indoctrinated probably do. But that just adds one more victim to the tally of toxic gender stereotypes. If you can't be honest with someone, then you are in the shadow of a relationship.

[@whatTFisThis]

@Patrick McCurry yep, i dont consider myself to be close to someone i cant share my feelings with

[@Kimmaline]

I am certain that other people have mentioned this, but the telling someone you have a significant other, then giving them your number later can also be a safety thing. I used to tell people I was dating someone, or that I didn't date for personal reasons--but on the rare occasion I found someone I really clicked with, I would still give them my number. Telling a strange dude that you have a boyfriend is a pretty decent measure against harassment. Most guys respect a man's claiming bite more than they do a woman or enby's "no".

[@saraliza3137]

THIS! That was the first thing I thought of as well!

[@lifelikelisa]

What is enby?

[@DanielledeVreede]

@@lifelikelisa NB or non-binary person

[@becp488]

Either that or giving a fake number to make them finally leave you alone.

[@spolch9482]

Sadly yes. Or telling them you're s lesbian, even if you're not.

[@shagrynpoiseen11]

The not crying thing kills me. Are men just not supposed to cry, but if they do they better do it locked in the bathroom with the shower running? So sad. Your lady should love you, especially when you're sad or vulnerable.

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

Definitely! There's no need for repeating what women have had to endure. Crying is not weakness.

[@terriheisel1150]

im a cis gender female and i used to cry in my actually closed closet cause my family did not show know how to deal with or accept a fair few genuine emotions, still love my family but on an emotional lvl ive had to do so much growing up after i was an adult in my 20s and 30s still, my family was great on so many lvls and broken at the same time, the wars my parents experienced didnt help nor did their warhardened survivalmoded parents.

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@patrickmccurry1563]

​@@charisma-hornum-fries Repressing it always sounded to me like an injured animal hiding its pain. We shouldn't see our loved ones as potential predators.

[@everything5066]

@@terriheisel1150 whay are you referring to yourself as a 'female'

[@AndaraBledin]

I love the comment about men who believe in the friend zone are just gaslighting when they claim they're friends.

[@Wadlebutt]

i saw another good comment on that like “if you feel like you’ve been friend zoned, it’s bc you fuck zoned her first and that’s gross”

[@HaleyJo1992]

@@Wadlebutt May I use this, like, forever? That's brilliant.

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@anna9072]

Yes. Guys who complain about being friend-zoned see women only as sex objects, they cannot imagine relating to a woman as a person.

[@petuniawolf]

I wish every young man would have to take your class so you can teach them about being a real man.

[@Schizniit]

But instead, these incels would rather listen to Andrew Tate, cause they don't actually care about men's mental health, they just openly hate women and construct their world views based around that very fucked up thing. No one wants to hear "the friendzone doesn't exist" because it's easy for these "men" to blame everyone else for their situations, and when you even mention to them that valuing women as friends destroys the "friendzone" entirely, they can't wrap their head around that. They come off as these guys that are just WAY too straight in the things they say, but when you get into their views, it's all about "making men more manly" or "why we can have male friends and not female friends" as if every man follows that weird logic of "no girlz allowed" which is the vibe I get off them. They seem to be almost hitting the nail on the head, but I honestly think most of these toxically masculine guys aren't even straight like they think they are. I mean, they don't seem to value women for any feminine or masculine traits, they don't value them as friends, hell they don't even see them as equal partners in a relationship. It's seriously fucked up and at first when I saw all this redpill shit, I thought it was just a really bad joke, but nope, they actually think like that. Just the normalization of incels, and no man wants to admit it, but normalized by other men and it's become too common, when it shouldn't even be acceptable behavior.

[@anastasiaanautodidact9856]

You know... hearing those men is like hearing Chucky telling me: Hi. I'm Chucky. Wanna play? I am literally not angry. I'm just terrified and I wanna run to a corner or just hide somewhere... because I don't want them to kill me💔 Even if I joined CrossFit, I don't want to hurt anybody with any muscles, so I just wanna run away into oblivion... Maybe bring women with me and clone babies in Antartica... or just pray to Jesus for an invisibility superpower... because we're just basically borderline scared. Like when you're petrified when a seemingly calm teacher is about to pick you... I wanna pray for those men. Because I feel like I should "Love my enemies, bless them that curse me, do good to them that hate me, and pray for them which despitefully use me, and persecute me" God, I pray you save those men. I pray you heal their physical and spiritual minds. I pray that they might know You and know that You're looking for the least among everyone, me being the least. In Your eyes, the least among everybody else is the greatest and I pray You open their hurt eyes and they know that. I pray you take their pain away and carry it, even physically instead of them. I want you and pray You love them like you loved the Prodigal son and kissed him when he finally came back to you, ruined, broken and destroyed. Help me love those men because on my own, I can't. I only learn from you. Help them see me as human. and don't let other women get beaten. You could take a broken stony heart and turn it into a heart of flesh. I pray most importantly that you give me the grace to love them and endure pains with you and in the same way You did for me💔

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rïhm

[@quixotichippie]

seriously, tho... where can I enroll my teenager?!

[@annieberger5039]

For the one about men and women just being friends. Yes it is possible. One of my best friends is a guy I have known for over 35 years! I used to work with his mom and she introduced us. I called her my second mom and she called me the daughter she never had. She said that her children had to meet. Our friendship has survived many things. The death of our parents, other friends trying to get in between us, and long distance. Sometimes we go for months without talking. When we do it's like no time has passed. I love him to death and he will be in my life forever ❤️

[@patrickmccurry1563]

Same for me and my best friend. We've known each other for 24 years.

[@ernestolopezdevictoria8512]

The fact the guy said "becomes less attracted" is telling. He didn't say "Will love you less"--as if love and attraction are the same thing. I don't know what happens to guys like this, but somehow in their emotional development, they get stuck. Never moving beyond their teen years. They never learn introspection, or gain the ability to give names or expression to the things they feel. Something of a perpetual state of adolescence which ill-prepares them for the realities of having a romantic partner.

[@dookiewu]

Thank you. Such a good take.

[@everything5066]

I couldn't have said it better

[@cls7857]

He seems to be framing it like "your girl" is literally a girl that you "have," in the sense that you're in a sexual relationship that's exclusive. Not FWB, and not a romantic relationship. In which case, yeah, "your girl" only sees you when she wants one thing, and you guys aren't even friends outside of that, soooo... no wonder he's giving advice for when you get depressed, if that's what he thinks a "normal" relationship is.

[@Moridin69]

This man is a reservoir of common sense.

[@gornser]

You wish this was seen as common sense, but "common sense" is just what feels right and so is highly subjectiv

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm.

[@everything5066]

@@gornser ah yes " women are people " is subjective

[@wendymontie5660]

My now-husband called me up (we were long distance at the time) early in our relationship, while at his vet’s office…because his cat had to be put down. He was sobbing. And while I hated that he was hurting so much, that he could be vulnerable and real…meant so much to me. He’s a USMC vet, fwiw.

[@kevinwells9751]

I also became good friends with my wife in college. I asked her out at one point and she turned me down because she was interested in pursuing someone else, so I accepted that and moved on. We stayed close friends and both pursued other relationships. Then I came back around to being interested in dating her again and asked her out again, but she had just gotten out of a relationship so she wasn't ready, but told me to ask again after she had some time to get over the last guy. A couple of months later we talked about it again and decided it was time, and the rest is history! Through all of that I wasn't pining away over her and didn't pretend like I was in "the friend zone", I was just actually her friend and we built an unshakeable foundation for our relationship. We've been together since 2011 and married since 2013, and while we've had things to overcome and work through we've always done it together without fighting because the foundation of our relationship is friendship and trust. We both know that we want what's best for each other, so we can let the small things go and focus on the big picture

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rhythm

[@who-arewe]

That's a beautiful love story 💓

[@kevinwells9751]

@@who-arewe thanks! We're very lucky with how it all turned out, not to mention that we have both grown and changed a lot (religiously, politically, etc ) but we've each ended up on a similar path so we've been able to grow together

[@Saphia_]

If a guy says they are only attracted to 18/19-22/24 year old women, I do not want to be near him. That kind of people (not just guys but people in general) repulse me.

[@SJ-um2ym]

You have given me hope for men. Thank you, just thank you. I cried in relief and appreciation. We need more of you. I’m so happy for everyone in your life, your wife, your kids and all who’ve you’ve touched. ❤.

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@georgieeve2026]

I'm so glad men like you exist ♡ Thank you!

[@naymeequillo]

I've been in relationships with toxic men and healthy responsible adults. I absolety prefer the latter. They were the people that cried in front of me, wanted to know about my likes and dislikes, told me about theirs, helped me and let me be. The men I loved were great, complete people. Not some weird, scared and scarred cartoon version of what they thought a man should be. I once talked to atoxic man in a loving way, trying to see if he'd let me be there for him when he was obviously hurt. He beat me and I told him that was why I left him. He didn't understand. It was very very sad, I still feel sorry for him but I never let him near me again.

[@croissant2882]

Dont be sorry for him. He's a grown man and he made a concious choice to abuse you instead of sharing his emotions Abusers arent broken people that need fixing. Everybody knows abuse is a bad thing, they choose to act that way

[@TordenFaaret]

if a man says he doesn't want a strong, independent woman, but he does want his wife to do all the cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc... gurl, RUN.

[@JenWren4]

The one about the age gap. I was married for 20 years and he left me for a 24 year old. I charged that up to him being an immature narcissist. The years later I'm 49 and my sister talked me into going out a few times and then trying a dating app. Every man I met that was my age was looking for someone younger. The youngest guy that was interested in me was 18 years older, the oldest was 32 years older. I thought it was weird because I talked to HUNDREDS if guys. Didn't meet one nice man that was my age. PS guys... Tackiest thing to do is send unsolicited Weiner picks. They aren't pretty and they don't help your pitch. 😉

[@ChrisMaxfieldActs]

I cannot imagine taking a picture of my organ, let alone sending it to someone who did not ask to see it.

[@JenWren4]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs oh honey.... It's rediculous! I have to in the whole dating app thing in two days it was so bad... Thank you for not being "that guy"

[@valrose6083]

Im 30 now, but ever since I was a teenager, men in their 30s+ thought it was totally fine to hit on me and try to ask me out. Even now that Im 30, i still have men in their 40s, 50s, etc, heck i have teenagers even still hitting on me but i still dont find it attractive or appropriate, I find it disgusting. Im only attracted to guys around my own age. Late 20s or 30s. For the women willing to settle for these men, i just don’t understand their mindset. You have to really be desperate to settle for these creeps.

[@JenWren4]

@@valrose6083 the younger girls date the older men because they think they're more mature and won't play games with them like the guys in their twenties like them. They don't realize that it doesn't matter how old the men are they still act like children. They may have more money but you're still going to have the games.

[@patrickmccurry1563]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs Harder to imagine is the one woman I know who liked getting them. But she is a major outlier in a few ways.

[@arielsmangos1172]

Hahaha "alpha" men being intimidated by a strong independent woman sais it all right there

[@Jaminux]

right!! if anything, dating a strong, independent woman means you're not responsible for her all the time, and wouldn't a truly "alpha" male not wanna waste all his time on somebody with limited autonomy? might be the lesbian bias for me but who knows

[@sallygreenfield6991]

I stopped dating in my mid-thirties because I realized that every man I met that wasn't already married was toxic af. I'm sure there are decent ones out there, but I had better things to do with my time than search for that needle in a haystack. I'm much happier now. I have a life that is mine, that is interesting, and that is fulfilling. I'm happy for anyone who finds "their person", but I think it's totally fine to just like being with yourself.

[@lilykat.]

Yeah no, emotional repression is the reason my dad killed himself last year. Let's not spread the idea that showing weakness is bad.

[@Sunmoonandstars123]

Sending you ❤❤❤

[@cursivefox]

🫂

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

I’m so sorry ❤

[@HaleyJo1992]

I can't remember who said it, but someone said something like "You're scared of independant women because you know she can drop you like a bad habit the second she realizes you are one."

[@emilia4_]

Your response with the last one slaaaaaayed Prof!

[@michelle4969]

Sooooo . . . what does it mean that I have my phone permanently on silent?

[@ShanTFull]

I'm wondering the same, because all my devices always are

[@jessicaeastwood6415]

It means that your a busy person and often in environments where your phone going off would be nosy and embarrassing as well as distracting

[@tsandhage]

It means your phone doesn’t run your life. You live your life. People do not need to be on call 24/7 to everyone who wants a piece of them to prove they care about those people. And, people who care about you will not except you to be at their beck and call 24/7.

[@PinkElfHSP]

@@tsandhage Absolutely!

[@spolch9482]

Right? I almost never have my phone on loud.

[@kevinwells9751]

I very rarely cry, which in part is because I was told by other kids that I was a cry baby when I was a child (I know it's an unhealthy trauma response, but I've worked on it), but when I do cry it's always with my wife. I've cried from being exhausted and frustrated with life, I've cried because I'm worried about an issue in our relationship, and I've cried with my wife when she's going through hard shit, but I've never hidden it away from my wife. She is my partner and she loves and supports me more than anyone in the world. Like you said if I can't do that with her then who can I do it with?

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the agro rithm

[@Mebh547]

I thought it was well known that some girls actually find it attractive when men show "weakness" such as crying (AKA being human) in front of them. I do! If I'm attracted to a guy and then he let me see him cry my instincts are to comfort him and help him. The fact that he trusted me enough to open up like that, or feels bad enough to not be able to hide how he's feeling (I wouldn't want him to hide it), is far more "attractive" to me than the alternatives. If a girl really cares about a guy she will NOT become less attracted to him if he has a moment of "weakness". If a guy is constantly and unecessarily whiny or fussy about things, that's a different story... But that's not what we're talking about. LoL. Men, don't be afraid to cry or be emotional or "weak" around your girlfriend. If she dislikes you for it (unlikely) she might not be the right girl for you. Most likely though you will just get lots of warm embraces and hopefully a good talk that will help you feel better if you need it.

[@enolp]

I love how he can completely delicately just absolutely demolish their statements

[@notafrogMC]

If she sleeps with the her phone on silent: She wants to sleep and not get woken up

[@noprogressionisregression6854]

I really hope your account blows up and I'm sure you're going to have guys make nasty comments but that's okay. A real man stands up for women and sees women as human beings and equals. So I feel like at least in this country there is a trend towards sexism and toxic masculinity in the last few years. What we need to remember is that these men are not the norm, they are abnormal and their behavior should be seen as such. They can try to normalize their sexism and ageism all day long but I don't know any "men" like that.

[@beverlycarswell5291]

Actually, they are VERY "normal", and that's the scary thing. There's LOTS of those types out there. And to be fair, there's PLENTY of their FEMALE counterparts out there as well: the gold-digging "Kim Kardashian wannabes".

[@vector3d654]

Actually this is the norm for some mysterious reason men like to torment the lives out of women and casually laugh it off saying that it was a joke. It's as if men love treating women awfully

[@wait...what...]

The bit about the friendzone ... thank you! So spot on.

[@thegoddesswithin8859]

If she sleeps with her phone on silent every night, brother, it means that a) She values her own self care enough to get a good nights sleep and b) she may have an abusive ex in her past who used messaging through various on-line platforms to harrass her repeatedly throughout the night. Judge less. Try to understand more. We want partners, not protagonisists!

[@SuperAH1985]

I remember thinking that after the 4th or 5th "serious" relationship I had with men, I thought "wow, they all seem to have mommy issues. I really only attract men who need mommys." Come to find out, this was basically every woman's experience who I've met over the years and now my own sister has gone through the same weird cycle twice. Some of those with mommy issues seem to be violent because you're not walking on eggshells and coddling them the way their mommy's would (there are many other reasons they become violent/abusive, too). I don't date anymore. I'm tired and broken and trying to be a single mom to two kids who've been completely left by these "mommy issue" having losers that I should've never been with in the first place.

[@marydahm6851]

I’ve been with my husband for 32 years and the times he’s cried are special moments - losing family and friends, going through so many ups and downs and growing older together. These young men are so off in their thinking and I feel bad that they may never know the depth that love can be. I also find it strange that these toxic topics seem to be the only thing they are preoccupied with.

[@rosaliamoon4525]

There are many reasons people sleep with their phones on silent. I did it for years because i was such a light sleeper that the vibrations of my phone on my bed would be the only way i could wake up gently. The alarms even on their quietest settings would startle me awake so bad, that i would be shaking for the first hour

[@halent3363]

What a blessing you are to humanity and the planet! Our planet needs more souls like you living on this earth! Sending Love and Light to help you on your journey! 💞🕊💞🕊💞🕊💞🕊💞

[@peterbonucci9661]

U tube won't let me post, here. Please post "for the algo rithm" directly to the original post.

[@everything5066]

@@peterbonucci9661 why

[@gilliankingston8259]

Thank you, you talk so much sense and cut through all the bull that is posted (like in these videos).🌹

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

A guy who cries in front of you early in your relationship is a keeper. There's no way around it. He is a keeper.

[@tortture3519]

Yes there is a way around it. I can tell from experience.

[@spectraldenouement]

unless they're crying because they did something abusive to you and are crying so you feel sorry for them! I had an ex cry when I tried to break up with him after a few months, i stayed for three years of emotional abuse hell from him. Crying does not always equal genuine emotion.

[@jana731]

It depends on the situation, in most tho: yess!!

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm

[@naheleshiriki5496]

So the people in their 40s and stuff trying to date women in their 20s I have some theories. It's weird for men in their forties that have the mental maturity of a man in their forties to date a woman in their twenties who have the mental maturity of a woman in her twenties. However, for men in their forties with the maturity of a man still in their twenties that is when they go after younger women. They aren't where they should be in life mentally.

[@everything5066]

I believe it's paedophilia in disguise

[@electron-Volt]

❤❤

[@klp3309]

Thank you for existing and pointing out the obvious when other people won’t.

[@Freiya2011]

You are right. You give me hope that there still ARE some humane men. Thanks.

[@amyh3381]

Love the nail art in a couple of these. ❤️ Hand to God, if I were to ever date again (HA!) I’d ask any potential partner to watch your videos.

[@beingilluminous]

🎉🎉🎉🎉 everytime I feel a little down about the misogynistic views that are deeply ingrained in those around me, I remember one of your videos…it has helped me and my guy look at the world with clarity and is much appreciated

[@katie6731]

Hubs is 43. I asked him what he thought about dating someone 20-23 if he were single. He looked completely grossed out and said he'd mentor someone that age, be friends with them, or DM (Dungeon Master) for them. I'm a 43-year-old woman, and the thought of dating someone in their twenties--especially their early twenties--is just icky. One of my closest friends is that age, and incredibly mature, but were in completely different places in our lives. But, I also get the same ick response when I think about anyone as old as my parents. According to the half-their-age-plus-seven rule, I could theoretically choose anyone up to 72 . No, thank you! Hubs is five months older than I am, and he is absolutely perfect for me.

[@stellablake6200]

I so appreciate this energy. My first "date" was with a guy I met on my college campus when I was 20. I was wearing a sweater with the school's name on it so it was pretty obvious I was a student, and I assumed the guy was also probably a student and thought he was probably around my age, maybe a bit older. He was 32 and was not a student at the school and didn't work there either, I'm not really sure why he was on campus that day, but didn't tell me his age until I was in his car and then drove to a relatively remote area and started talking about sex in graphic detail after I told him I'd never had sex before. I lied about having to meet friends and left. I'm now 24 and can't really even imagine dating someone who is 20 because even if it's just four years I feel like I'm in a completely different phase in my life than I was back then. Why someone in their thirties or forties would want to date someone 12+ years younger than them, other than to manipulate them because they have less experience, is beyond me

[@katie6731]

@@stellablake6200 Holy shipwreck, I'm glad you got away from that monster! That's such a terrifying experience, and I'm sure it changed your life in so many ways. You didn't deserve for anyone to treat you like that, and I hope you know that down to your soul. I know I've watched to many "Am I the Asshole" videos, because I just had a talk with hubs about letting me know if he ever did mentor someone in their early twenties. If that person ended up forming an unhealthy attachment, I wouldn't want to be blindsided if they contacted me. I completely trust him, and I wouldn't ever want to question that trust. The funny thing is that we were twenty-one when we met his mentor, who was in her early forties at the time. Hubs (who was fiancé at the time--yes, we married super young at a few days past my twenty-third birthday) had taken her out to lunch when he saw she was about to lose her shit with the "old boys club" mentality of the meetings they were attending. They work in an extremely specialized technical field, and his mentor is a beautiful, petite blonde with a razor-sharp wit (and attitude!) who had to be smarter, tougher, and work harder than every other male colleague. She was impressed by the young guy who not only listened to her technical advice, but saw how she was being treated and got her out before she tore everyone new assholes and left them in a (figurative) smoking heap of pure carnage. At the time, I teased hubs about his new cougar friend. And then I met her and her delightful husband--who works in the same niche field--and decided that I wanted to be her when I grew up. They have been amazing friends to us for the last twenty-something years; they're more like family at this point. Hubs still works with them, and I still want to be her when I grow up. If hubs could pay that forward, I would be completely on board. I'd just want to be clued in. We talked about it, and he understands that I wasn't questioning his integrity. It's about not wanting to be blindsided if someone else were to misinterpret the interaction. I know I'm nowhere near perfect, but our marriage has been *tested,* and I'm proud of the way we've made it through. As for the age gap issue, I have the same feelings you do. People who choose it are doing so because one partner is a controlling manipulator and the other is submissive (sometimes they're manipulated into becoming submissive, rather than it being a natural part of their character) and manipulated. It's not a healthy base to build a relationship on. Except . . . I've seen close-up the extraordinarily rare case where it works out. My father is ten years older than my mother. (Yes, that grossed me out when I got old enough to realize what it meant.) They married when she was barely nineteen, and he was just about to turn twenty-nine. My father is *extremely* immature, and my mother has been responsible and self-motivating all of her life. To say my maternal grandparents were horrified would be an understatement. My parents were married for thirteen years, and their divorce had nothing to do with the age gap; if anything, he was too "young" for her. They've stayed friends since the divorce. Several years after my parents split, my father married my stepmother, who is eleven years younger than him. He was . . . um . . . forty-six, and she was thirty-five. It works for them. She has the power (and a slight edge in maturity) in the relationship, and they're both happy that way. They've been married for twenty-nine years. I wouldn't recommend their setup to others, as it's extremely creepy for pretty much everyone who isn't them. I'm sorry about blathering on. I'm an insomniac, and hubs fell asleep right after he and I talked between my first two paragraphs.

[@stellablake6200]

@@katie6731 I really appreciate that! And it sounds like you and your husband have a wonderful trusting relationship ❤️ And I think you're totally right about there being some exceptions. My mom and dad actually met and started dating when she was 17 and he was 24, which l alway had known but it really hit different as I got older. But they've been together for over 40 years now and their relationship isn't perfect but I've never seen anything that makes me think they've ever had that kind of power imbalance between them. It was the same kind of thing where he was really immature and still trying to finish school and my mom was already financially independent and basically on her own. I think some people do fit together despite age gaps if they really are in similar places in their lives. It's just a shame how many people seem to be convinced they're going to be the exception when they're really just being manipulated 🙃

[@AnnaGirardini]

As a woman well in her 40s I noticed that the older I get the more you people start too appear to me as children. It is not that I don't value the intelligence and the experience of people in their 20s but that I see their youth first, and all the little things in which they remind me of a younger, more inexperienced version of myself. So when I feel something towards them is not sexual in nature. I found young people endearing. I am startled when this does not happen to other people my age. I get grossed out when I hear a mature woman talk about the hotness of a guy in his 20s. My husband started to feel icky at the idea of dating late teenage girls when he was still in his middle 20s. He used to tell me: "What could we talk about? What should I tell to someone so young?" And while it is not completely true because you can be friends with them, I know what he meant.

[@peterbonucci9661]

@@AnnaGirardini I'd like to restart this thread, u tube won't let me. Post "for the algo rithm" directly to the original post.

[@AntheaMay101]

Man oh man, you’re simply wonderful. Thank you for your wholesome content

[@kodakoala]

Man my so and I have grown so much together. We talk, we commi, we cry, I told him all that toxic shit was trash and he's a better person because he tells me how he feels. wtf you know it was bad enough dealing with this as a woman when you leave the house. I dispise it's in people's houses now too. If woman do the same tho.... they are gold diggers and this or that. We had to fight against men to have rights and not be property, I will NOT go back

[@beverlycarswell5291]

Too bad we can't clone this professor's attitude and spread it around to men who need it, like the ones he shows in this video!

[@Mebh547]

Yes! 😆👍

[@peterbonucci9661]

For the algo rithm.

[@gamewrit0058]

(Stage whisper) " Doesn't feel very 'Alpha.' 😆

[@whipwalk]

Thank you good sir for being there, showing the error of their ways.

[@EllaEllaEh]

I’ve seen women watching the Andrew Tate types and feeling like they’ll never get a man. I’m like, honey, you don’t want a man like that. Trust me, you’re better off alone.

[@peterbonucci9661]

U tube won't let me post to the original comment. Please post "for the algo rithm" to the original post.

[@everything5066]

true. after all it's men complaining about loneliness.

[@helenakhudyna2360]

I subscribed after the first short! I wish there are more men like you! I'm so glad to find you!

[@michellebrickner9307]

The first time my husband cried in front of me, I knew he trusted me.

[@asmodon]

That last one was gold! 😁

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

I sleep with my phone on silent because…. You’d better sit down for this… I NEED TO SLEEP! 😂

[@Justbreatheinhalexale]

The one about not showing weakness in front of 'your girl'....this is true IF, if you have a transactional relationship with a woman or with a woman who accepts being the lesser/looked down upon partner in the relationship. So build you a real partnership instead of an inequal one. And then show up for them. And let them show up for you.

[@janecenufer9097]

Thanks for giving me hope for this world!

[@MkE1121]

You share a birthday with your wife?? So cool! My husband and I have the same birthday as well! We've been married for 35 years.

[@josemiguelmaciasvocar2690]

24 y/o man here. I generally prefer older women but the idea of dating someone even 6 months younger feels creepy. Can't imagine being that guy's age and dating someone that could be my daughter or even my grandaughter lmaoo

[@Panda72021]

25 and same. I wouldn't date someone who was 19...let alone anyone 10-40 years older than me. Ick.

[@lisastenzel5713]

0:56 If it's meant to be... it's gonna be. You two must be the happiest couple ever

[@Kinda_SUS]

For the "can men and women be friends?" Question, my answer is yes. We've been friends since kindergarten and he has said that he thinks of me like another sister, and to be completely honest I do too. I've heard guys say that women like to have male friends it's because they'll give her more attention and try to please her in order to get their chance... I call bullshit. My male friends were always the most brutally honest with me lol, if I looked like shit, was being weird, or if they just disagreed with me they would say it to my face without sugarcoating, and I'm thankful for them. I get that you might catch feelings for a friend bcs you know them and they seem wonderful, but many of those are just passing feelings that won't last a month and your usual view of them comes back really fast without anyone noticing, sometimes those "feelings" aren't even attraction but just something like admiration or anything else that is somehow mistaken for love

[@dionzaswift8792]

I have lots of comments, really. But I am a woman, my best friend is a man. The men I have dated always had a huge issue with that. I was absolutely dating the wrong men. I just didn't realize that. The men that said my friend was just waiting for his opportunity, were the men that treated women like property. Lots of therapy later...I have an amazing partner. He was married twice, both of his wives had affairs. I would have totally understood if he wasn't able to be with me because of the infidelity. He did his own self work, and because he is a good man, because he respects women, respects boundaries, because we trust each other, and love each other, it's never a problem.

[@ladylove1122]

Thank you 💚 I recently found your channel. This is so validating and inspiring. Blessings to your beautiful soul, beautiful wife, and beautiful family. You are restoring my faith that DM men still exist. There are still men out there capable of being secure enough in themselves to protect and stand up for truth and femininity. Thank you for your channel, and thank you to all the feminist men, and all those who respect and protect the feminine. Bless your beautiful soul. As I'm healing myself from a life time of abuse and trauma, I am growing to reclaim my personal power, and I pray to find a man as true, vulnerability, and genuine, while veing protective -- as you someday. We will rise up again someday. ☯️ Thank you 🙏

[@ScotchItali]

Love the purple sparkly nail polish. #HappyDadNoShame 💙

[@saadhna7260]

Thank you so much for making these videos. I really appreciate the way you think!! 🔆❤️

[@KiraBKADestroyerOfWorlds]

That last one at the end took me OUT!😂

[@coolbreeze5683]

Yes, men and women can be just friends. If you value a person's opinion and existence as a human, you can be friends with anyone. I have friends of different races, genders, religions, cultures, lifestyles, etc. and I've had others say "what do you have in common with [so and so]?" We all have things in common and lots to learn from others too. Interest and genuine caring is what we have in common. That's what friendship is about. The thing that divides us is making assumptions based on surface things and not getting to know someone at all.

[@Zivilin]

2:38 I'd like to know this too as someone that was an outcast as a kid. 😂

[@elaexplorer]

That first guy doesn't know how do not disturb on a phone works. Like you can literally select people/phone numbers that will ring through still.

[@peterbonucci9661]

I did post a comment and u tube accepted it. If you want me to explain how, reply to this comment.

[@Panda72021]

Yeah, he's just salty that he isn't one of them. Being in "contact jail" for harassing people for attention at 4:00 in the morning. No one needs that. A good night's sleep is a priority. Horny strangers....not so much.

[@deemora495]

"Doesn't feel very Alpha!" - Epic take down!

[@annarosen9706]

Thanks!

[@203hh3]

Oh I like him he’s replies be big facts no cap 10/10 would watch again

[@hoosiergirl6344]

I'm sick to death of these men saying they don't want an independent, strong woman. At the same time they have zero intention of keeping her, financially supporting her, and demand that she provide for herself. Uh, which one is it bro!? This is why I don't bother, I'm going to live my best life without you scrubs. Maybe you'll learn, maybe not. Don't care.

[@alyzu4755]

EXACTLY!!!!!!

[@jlcollins14]

I really appreciate your perspective on "Real Men" vs the "These are boys not men" comment. Thank you. I hate seeing comments like that, it's infuriating when people think that way. I really enjoy your videos. :D

[@olgierdvoneverec4135]

As a man, yes the take that men only want 23-22 year olds is weird as fuck, however data shows that it is a prevalent situation, a lot or maybe even most single men want a younger woman. And it's super weird, I don't understand it and I got no way of explaining it, but it's true. At least according to dating app statistics. My hypothesis is this is a symptom of an underlying problem with how men see relationships and their expectations of them.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

Also… woman here. If you’re my partner or male friend and you’re going through crap or you’re depressed: TALK TO ME! It’s not true that women don’t want you to open up to us. I don’t want you to suffer because I CARE ABOUT YOU! And I’m here for you when you need help

[@danielmuller2701]

the "men are into 22-y/o women" is soooo creepy. Insecure men often are. But men who are secure or trying to get there.. they look for someone their age with shared experience. An equal. because younger people.. you can't go to them for advice on whatever. They didn't experience most stuff.. Like I'm only in my 30s and I feel like my friends and cousins who are in their mid 20s have such a different perspective on life. Yes Their opinion and experiences are valuable. But they are so differen.. there's a reason my tinder is set to my age +/- 4, not +/- 14

[@dookiewu]

Thank you for giving me hope.

[@kismet333]

THANK YOU! AMEN! 100% I love watching your videos and luckily my husband thinks like you and is a teacher as well!😊❤️👍

[@rosebudmoon]

I can’t lie that first video was spot on. My sleep is above all.

[@artinginteralia5196]

That sleepover thing is pretty accurate.

[@Ganmue]

I really like your positivity, agree with you on practically everything and I think you are doing a wonderful job spreading an important message to youths who might be misunderstanding how relationships should be. HOWEVER, I really need to stop watching these. Just because I just can't stand the people you are responding to. I don't think it's doing anything good for my bloodpressure :I

[@everythingisnand]

If I am with a man and he doesn't feel comfortable with showing his feelings with me, that's a huge problem, like, possibly dealbreaker worthy. I need that level of trust in a relationship and it needs to go both ways.

[@AG-ej7wm]

When men report that women don't like men to show "weakness".. there are, indeed, women with the toxic trait of making fun of men for simply having a full range of emotions and the occasional self doubt. And there are men who see themselves as "sensitive" when they are acting entitled and hurt about the most minor frustrations in life. Which becomes annoying over time, regardless of gender.

[@fdm2155]

I'm not sure I think there's a 1 to 1 correlation of men with this kind of skewed thinking AND women who actually believe this. Nor do I think most of those guys have actually experienced it in part because many seem to form this belief VERY young.

[@AG-ej7wm]

@@fdm2155 You are probably right that not all of these ideas stem from experience. However, as a woman I think we should admit that toxic relationship ideas exist from our side as well.

[@fdm2155]

@@AG-ej7wm Toxicity is a human trait to be sure. I'd never suggest otherwise.

[@mlady8137]

Men should be attracted to capable, moral women who CAN be independent when needed. Because that's healthy. Especially if she is going to look after and bring up a family. If that's a possibility for them.

[@opiateutopia]

The "very weird take" sounds like a poll I've seen online (haven't seen the actual source though) that compared ages that men and women found attractive. Women's chart scaled with their age and men's preferences stayed around 18-20s. Comments under the post would mention that 18 was the lowest age they could pick.

[@dcampi7597]

I'm 35 and I couldn't date a woman in her early 20s because I'd keep thinking of them as a naive kid and I'd keep acting paternal and it would be weird for everyone. But as just friends it's way less weird and I've had that type of relationship and it worked out well.

[@shevaunhandley1543]

The only reason my partner's and my relation works is because we can be completely open and honest with each other because he trusts me and I trust him. We also work on that every day we are together. These poor people have been really hurt in one way or another. I hope they find a partner they can be truly open and honest with.

[@bdavis4099]

Hilarious. Your posts are so much fun.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

“Masculinity” TikTok is WILD 😂

[@minohki]

I sleep with my phone on silent and my mom got mad when when she found out. She asked what if there was an emergency. I told her to call 911. AITA?

[@joann5051]

I appreciate and respect your opinion on relationships.

[@Mattnoble80]

I’m a man and my group of best friends are women. I’m married and have children, want to show my son it is ok to be their friend.

[@annnee6818]

I've been told - by men - "you probably intimidate a lot of men". I usually look them dead in the eye and say "oh no, only the weak ones". This gets excellent results, follow me for more dating advice of how to get rid of toxic dingleberries.

[@SirenUndine]

It doesn't feel very "Alpha" 🤣🤣🤣 I will say, there's people trying to teach about polarity and masculinity/ femininity. Most of these go into the extremes. Prof. hit it on the mark, those trying to prove to themselves and others aren't alphas. A Sigma or Alpha doesn't really care what others think and will act accordingly to what they believe is best. To piggyback, there is a great distinction between a dominant man vs a domineering man, and that is respect. A man that doesn't respect you is toxic, and what differentiates a "man" vs a man. A man that doesn't respect himself is intimidated by an independent woman.

[@athomewithnika6459]

My phone has been mainly silent for the last 10 years since my kids were born😅