Voicemail

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[@wingedshoes7]

Guess what my new voicemail message is going to be?

[@TeresaMcD]

Brilliant.

[@eatmarth]

speaking of things that are just the worst.. they moved the thumbs up button, and now I always go left before I correct to the right...

[@pyneapple]

Same here.

[@theuglyzone]

Crap, so I was that one person who disliked all those videos?

[@AlleyBetwixt]

I've hit the 'ADD TO' button a couple dozen times already on reflex.

[@pyneapple]

I am glad I'm not the only one who had issues with this.

[@nathohren]

"you have to wait for figuratively ever..." LOVE IT. I hope the word figuratively catches on and replaces the gawd-awful "literally".

[@LucasHutchinsonIsGreat]

Okay I expect one of these every Friday thanks Mikey Mike you're the best

[@pyneapple]

The fact that you called him Mikey Mike really amuses me.

[@LucasHutchinsonIsGreat]

Just to be clear: I am joking. I don't expect Michael to release weekly. I know Michael has stated he doesn't like being called Mike and that was part of the joke.

[@vanillamartini]

I literally knew every word you were gonna say except the phone number because EVERY AUTOMATED VOICEMAIL IS EXACTLY THE SAME AND IT TAKES FOREEEVER

[@lauracuthberr792]

Also things that are the worst: Comic sans font.

[@ArgentAconit]

Comic sans is actually one of the few dyslexic friendly fonts out there! Though I do agree it gets frustrating seeing it everywhere.

[@KeyLimeyPie222]

TheDannyDarka Agreed. From a designer's view, yuck. As a font used (just!) for kids (and dyslexic if it helps), great!

[@danshinks5897]

It's only acceptable to use it for kids and for dyslexics. Anything else should be punishable by death!

[@mmomaster2]

Comic sans is only bad if it's in a font size greater than 11. Give the font a break!

[@Yahoodoraze]

I'm dyslexic but also someone who appreciates a good font. Comic sans is eughhhk. My life is so hard. :L

[@tirlen]

I could recite that whole message along with you. I feel your pain.

[@mustardsfire22]

It's 2:30 a.m. and I just got the urge to watch this video again and am once again floored by the simple, hilarious brilliance of it all. Dying laughing. Thanks again, Michael, for speaking the truth of life. xDDDD

[@gabriellassh]

It was beautiful, it was sad. What a rollercoaster.

[@MYmiddleNAMEisFRANK]

For some reason I'm actually splitting up laughing at this. Your expression! Haaaaaahahahahahaha

[@queenwyntir]

PLEASE do more of these. This was hysterical.

[@WEIRNC]

This was a surprise. It made me laugh. It gave me feelings. You have achieved your mini-mission Michael. Kudos to thee.

[@hobbutts]

True. Also my mum has a personalised one of her voice and it starts with a 'Hello' exactly like she's picked up the phone. So I start talking and then the message mum talks over me telling me she's not available.

[@KBaldiga93]

So funny! And so true! More "Things That Are Just the Worst -- with Michael Aranda" in the future please!

[@jessherselfable]

I clicked on this expecting a whatimdoingrightnow video and was briefly confused. Also congratulations on sounding EXACTLY LIKE THE DANG VOICEMAIL LADY. Incidentally, has anyone ever pressed "1" for more options? What are the other options?

[@JoyandJoyness]

The fact that you look hella tired (of voice mail) really adds to the authenticity.

[@nico3641]

The worst is when someone actually leaves me a voicemail.

[@MollyBlueDawn]

Things that are just the best: when Michael Aranda posts a video to his main channel.

[@skipdane6059]

Sometimes, being "old" has the advantage of memory: A NEW marvelous thing called answering machines were around. Pay phones cost a dime. Answering machine: "Your dime, start talking." or just: "What"? No rationale was needed.

[@LaBelleRiviere]

so flippin true!!! you can't have me laughing hard like that at work, Michael

[@Chouetterargentee]

This is actually great.

[@aleksandracegla7559]

Hahaha Michael, are you okay?

[@mandakay42]

Yes. That IS just the worst. Worse than the worst? Working in a call center and hearing that over and over and Over and OVER all day! Funny stuff as always Michael! :)

[@CaroShoes]

Hahah your impression is perfect. I absolutely love it.

[@smilemore22]

I have found that when 'she' starts talking, you can just press the number 1 and it will (usually) skip the slow-poke talking and play to the annoying but welcomed screech. This was one of the best tricks I've learned.

[@FilmStudyForIndies]

When the teacher gives you homework for Winter Break 0:57

[@BeezyKid]

You do that sad, dead-eyed look very well.

[@BrockSumner]

I got intense Matthew Broderick vibes here

[@nerdra]

Laughing so hard.

[@jezekab]

Beautiful.

[@Chloexxx61]

I love the fact that you actually screamed for the beep sound.

[@moistunicorn1219]

Makes me giggle... thanks Michael.

[@Friendswobenefits]

okay, you know what? i just reblogged this but i wanna get geeky over it. ‘cause this is some high-class humor right here, and if you don’t get that you need to be educated so here i am about to do the thing you’re not supposed to do and explain the joke, because i’m just really impressed by this joke’s construction, okay? so back in paris in the 1920s, the surrealist movement in art was just starting to take off. the surrealist movement was born from the dadaist movement, which was a response to strict societal ideas of what was “art” and what wasn’t. the dadaists made a lot of works to try and challenge society’s ideas of what art even was in the first place, and this continued on into the more sophisticated abstract works of surrealism. one such artist, rene magritte (also known for his paintings of people with invisible heads, or with fruit for heads), painted a work called "the treachery of images," depicting a pipe, and underneath the words (in french) “this is not a pipe.” the words were meant to refer to the fact that the painted pipe was literally not a real physical pipe that a viewer could smoke out of, it was just a painting of a pipe. the painting was extremely meta, and really challenged the habit of allowing oneself to get so immersed in a work of art that one forgets it is a created representation of life, and not actual life. understanding that alone takes a good deal of abstract thinking ability. and really appreciating and enjoying it requires a certain amount of one’s own frustration with society’s habit of trying to put limits on the definition of art; and being unable to think outside the box and really see something from all possible perspectives, including the perspective of being completely outside the thing. now what’s even more fascinating to me is that modern art movements (and i don’t mean “modern art,” i mean actual contemporary art movements that are being led by our peers) are kinda doing the same thing the dadaist movement was doing, but in reaction to the art that came out of the dadaist movement. things have circled back around again, and abstract surrealist art is now what society has decided “art” is. and our generation doesn’t accept that. comics, video games, tv shows and movies, graffiti art, web series, even flash mobs, all of these are our generation’s way of saying, “no, society, you don’t get to define art as strictly as ‘if it doesn’t make sense to me it must be brilliant.’ art can be simple to understand, art can be accessible to all people, art can make you beg to find out what happens next!” and that’s really interesting to me. flash forwards to 2014, when sanrio announces that hello kitty is in fact NOT a cat. now, memes are really cool as a concept anyways, when you think about them hard enough (i mean, the speed at which an entire world full of young people are able to latch onto something as simple as a phrase that they all mutually find funny, and within a matter of days explore every possible usage and implication of that phrase, including how it might relate to other complex systems of knowledge and understanding such as the rich character and plot developments of stories that generate fandoms), but lets put that aside for now and talk about sarcasm, instead. because sarcasm is a very sophisticated, complex, and subtle form of wit. it’s a difficult thing to be able to understand, through tone of voice alone, that what someone says, and what they mean, are two different things. and to be able to discern the actual meaning when the words were not said. as wikipedia says, “different parts of the brain must work together to understand sarcasm.” it’s even harder when those words are typed and not spoken audibly, as the reader must imagine the tone in the first place. that’s a lot of brain work involved in even understanding the true meaning behind that simple little phrase. and sarcasm is popular right now. more than popular, it’s a hallmark of our generation. people have been writing lengthy articles and psychological, sociological, and anthropological studies and musings on why we’re so sarcastic. as this article suggests, it’s because we’re so angry. we’re a generation that was promised a lot and the world didn’t deliver. we’re disenchanted, and jaded, and mad. and we vent that through sarcastic humor. we laugh at things older generations don’t think are funny. we have come to expect so much disappointment, that we no longer afford “serious” things the respect we’re told they deserve. because we no longer believe they deserve it. as the article states, “we are a generation that believes nothing is sacred. and if nothing is sacred everything becomes profane.” one could even go so far as to make the argument that the popularity of the statement on the above image is due partially to the attitude amongst today’s youth (especially on tumblr) that one’s own life and choices are one’s own, and not the business of anybody else. this attitude can be seen in everything as simple as the “be yourself” and “follow your dreams” statements many of us were raised on, to the more serious issues we deal with today of discrimination against the lgbtga+ community, fat shaming, slut shaming, prejudice against muslim people, etc., to political issues like free speech and government invasion of privacy, and even into more subtle ideas present in social media of privacy settings, controlling who gets to see what posts, block and ignore features, and even the philosophy of “nobody can tell you what to post in your own space. if somebody doesn’t like it, they can unfollow.” none of this would be happening consciously, of course, but we can’t help but be influenced by the world around us. and a phrase whose meaning is essentially “it’s none of your business” is very likely to resonate strongly with a group of people whose fundamental philosophies of polite interpersonal conduct revolve roughly around the same concept. taking all this into consideration, this joke is taking a lot of pre-knowledge and putting it all together to kind of say, in a funny way, “stop acting like you have it all figured out, because you don’t. and some things are just not for you to figure out anyway.” so to sum up, to understand the above image, you must: have a descent grasp on art history to recognize the original painting. have good abstract and/or creative thinking skills to understand and appreciate the original painting. have a good grasp on modern pop culture, internet culture, and current slang and memes (basically, be an active participant in the wider world). have the complex emotional and interpersonal understanding necessary to understand the subtleties of sarcasm. understand enough of what’s going on in the world around you that you are disenchanted enough to appreciate sarcastic humor. participate in our generation’s general philosophy of life and how to interact with other human beings in the world at large. so basically, if you laughed, you’re smart. :3

[@ohbbyilikeitrawr]

Damnit where's the rest?

[@TwinkTwinkle]

I applaud you for typing this entire comment and I pat myself on the back for reading it all. (And for laughing because apparently, I am smart ;-) )

[@ameliorated]

this comment is hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@Ariel-ps8je]

Vanya Boon can you give me a summary

[@parsamend]

You have got to me kidding me, Chas.

[@TheRaspberryExperiment]

I can't wait for more videos on here. That was amazing.

[@francisguevara1688]

This was hilarious and "an exciting episode" haha

[@jesskidng]

Omfg it's the fucking worst especially if you're a receptionist and u have to call people the day before their appointments to remind them. I have to call at least 20 people and I have to go through the same stupid voicemail message over and over again because no one picks up their phone

[@lisbeth2557]

hahaha so on point, Michael.

[@frigginboom]

Listening to voicemails is the worst

[@TransgressiveInkgirl]

Not as bad as that comic sans in bright purple

[@OneUpdateataTime]

You're so defeated and dying here... it's hilarious.

[@scottgoblue]

Just...professional quality all over this video. Well done. File under "Things to Aspire To"

[@juststeveschannel]

Apparently there are five people who record those messages; or perhaps five people who are in charge of answering them at Comcast; or perhaps some combination of the two that adds up to five to explain the dislikes. Everyone else--"Things That Are The Worst" Is The Best.

[@emdareful]

Thank you! Finally someone says it. Checking voicemails sucks too.

[@Dixavd]

I sometimes worry about you...

[@madelaineparry5386]

That was a rather scarily accurate imitation of the voicemail introduction lady: speed, intonation, pauses in odd places, all down pat... Are you sure that your own voice wasn't recorded for that default message thing? Because holy crap

[@alaninnh]

You hit on one of my pet peeves. I usually end up screaming, "Shut up and let me leave my message!!!!!!"

[@GregPoblete]

I don't know what else I expected from this KZbin channel.

[@SonicJukebox1999]

That was just beautiful

[@zinnnnnzinnn]

I cried

[@annabellebearoh]

You have an excellent voicemail lady voice.

[@kidheg7717]

If you press zero on your keypad, it skips the message and goes right to the beep. Problem (kind of) solved.

[@garynet123]

Agreed. "Leave a message". Beep - would be adequate.

[@Rulerofwax24]

What was that...

[@PyroTimeLady]

It was a KZbin video.

[@aboot2754]

Fucking hilarious.

[@EmillyRobyn]

I'm not sure why I like this so much. But I do.

[@thatPimm]

It's so bad that I hang up and not leave a message.

[@heythereamelia]

NICKEL CREEK ALBUM?! Yes a thousand times yes. I have loved that band for the last 9 years! Excellent taste in music :))

[@kpieckiel]

Ha! This was great. I love it.

[@mcapeku]

I relate to this on a spiritual level.

[@daisychainexplores]

Funny thing... on my voicemail it simply beeps without anything before that..so everyone is confused and or doesn't realise that they are on the voicemail so I got a few really funny voicemail messages because of that...

[@sebastiandelatorre4469]

This will do

[@Dojan5]

A few months back I had to contact my professor because of a hiccup in my course. Because it was fairly urgent I decided to call her instead of sending her an email. Much to my dismay I ended up being forwarded to voice mail, however it wasn't really in the way one'd expect. Instead of being able to leave a voice mail, the service started playing back a voice mail. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but before I knew it some bloke started talking about how his daughter had been playing with the family dog, and how they all missed some person. Ever since I've elected to send emails instead of calling said professor.

[@LittleMoths94]

just like stand-up from the 80's

[@hookshot320]

I hang up if people don't answer by the 4th ring, and I never listen to voicemails left for me. Also, you should do more videos like this Michael.

[@ad.ladybug]

By far your shortest video on your main channel. But it was good!! All your videos are awesome

[@jenniferle3172]

Michael actually looked like he lost part of his soul in this video.

[@TylerMayMedia]

Well, this is my favorite.

[@jasonshaw4485]

This is awesome, please keep making more videos

[@Balmung3688]

Loved this. Do more.

[@robotturkey2929]

Agreed. There was a time when voicemail was just a prerecorded message with a beep. They mush have changed it so people can't do that "speak up, I can't hear you" prank that was only funny once.

[@tibbywibby]

For some reason I really enjoyed this video

[@rjkade]

omg that part where you spoke the beep

[@KenniIsBored]

I'd probably marry this guy.

[@RocketPwn]

give me the those collector's editions now, mate.

[@sevenswanson]

You exactly quoted everything the voicemail lady says. Is it the same for every phone?

[@blackbirdtype]

this is the best video on youtube

[@MrDoYouKnowMe2211]

he makes the best face at 0:47 - 0:53 XD

[@sereinrio3]

That was brilliant.

[@AbigailPoirier]

Ugh yes!!! And then if someone leaves YOU a voicemail, you have to go through this: "Please enter your pin number, then press pound." "You have __ new message and ___ saved messages. New message:" This is why everyone texts...

[@afroceltduck]

Does anyone ever actually press the button for more options? What are the options? Why are there any other options than just leaving the message and hanging up?

[@mai3794]

I'm sorry your day was ruined by the stupid voice mail, but this video made my day!!!!

[@kimalba]

Yes, so I keep calling until they pick up or I give up entirely. lol

[@mikededmon]

OMG - This is one of my pet peeves!! I build call center phones systems and I also do voice work. One of my requirements is that all records are run through a processor and sped up by 20%. It's amazing how many seconds you can shave off of a phone tree. It drives me crazy when I have to listen to these SLOW painful, obvious messages. We're not stupid! We know what to do next... Ugghhh...

[@monicatorres4881]

can't wait for another exciting episode of things that are just the worst xP

[@KSicVR]

Lmao xD Spot on and great video!

[@kaymarie4851]

Oh, Michael.

[@TalesOfATeaAddict]

With Sprint, you can skip that and just press 1 and it automatically goes to the beep.

[@orchtoria]

This made my day.

[@firewordsparkler]

Yes, Michael Aranda, that is just the worst.

[@bookwormgirl000]

0:58 cannot stop laughing oh my gosh

[@MyriamEH]

I hate leaving voice mail messages because I'm paranoid about how my voice sounds.

[@emilymarie38]

This is exactly I needed right now haha

[@Bopsterjazz]

Voicemails from people you don't know and who don't know you are the worst. I get voicemails every few weeks from various doctors around my down asking for a Beverly and her various medical issues. I keep telling them they have the wrong number but they still call. I also get calls from people looking for a Mike who seems to be a drug dealer (I made a video about it a long time ago), which was scary. I think I need a new number.

[@SimplySalma]

this is so good, more please?

[@mayaan773]

It is truly the worst.

[@JamesBacha]

I have 20 unheard voicemails from my mom. No one else leaves them because checking them is a waste of time. Just send a text.

[@funkyfrash]

Brilliant! Looooool.

[@MrMattgod101]

I can't work out whether you legitimately find voicemails the worst, or whether you're making fun of someone....

[@sharkbait231]

You really made me laugh, thanks! :)

[@Ninjaluv633]

@MichaelAranda that was hialrious lolol you have the perfect dull tone and straight face for it xD

[@Vardagaladhiel]

I hate it when I have to leave a voicemail, I always feel like an idiot doing it!

[@RightAboveAverage]

TALENT*