Walk and talk. Why am I still single?

I've been mulling this question over. Looking back into my childhood there were influences that probably shaped my thinking, although I didn't realise it at the time. My father wasn't a kind and loving family man, he spent more of his time and money with his mates in the pub.
When we are young we don't realise how much parental control we absorb from those who are meant to love us. I got enough love from my mother to see me through the growing up stage. My father thought all he had to do was to provide money. At least he went to work to earn it, but it wasn't all shared equally, leaving my mum to pick up the shortfall.
Maybe I have inherited some of my fathers traits, like living a single life. Now I am older I realise that my fear of being trapped in a relationship that wasn't working, probably came from him.

[@annsmith1922]

Just because you have children, doesn’t mean they will stick around when you get older!! 😢😢

[@sheilacarter7875]

So true l never see mine !!

[@Tia-Louisa]

Exactly, my two abusive brothers took all my parents energy, money and joy and dont bother with them when my parents are sick. (Only for Facebook photo's to pretend that they care).

[@adelitavalle1852]

I love being single. I am not angry. I am selfish and I do not want to comprise. Watching my parent's relationship, I am better off being alone.

[@ruthie2222]

I was in a relationship, married, for 40 years. It was the most damaging, toxic relationship you could even imagine. I just wished I had left years ago, I’m now out of it at the age of 63, but it has left it’s toll, which I am trying to heal from 😢

[@sharonjojo]

At 64 I am the same & have become seriously ill over it too, married a different culture to myself & he went & married another in his country whilst still being legally married to me in UK, it was & still is a shock, he knows I am ill & now disabled because of it & I feel so desperately stuck, we are separated but still under the same roof, there is so much against me & I want out of it....I hope sincerely from my heart that you somehow find an inner peace & I wish you nothing but happiness. @ruthie2222

[@ruthie2222]

@@sharonjojo thank you so much. It must be so awful for you my love. I just hope you can get out somehow and heal too ❤️🙏❤️

[@sharonjojo]

@@ruthie2222 Thankyou💖

[@cristinaevans139]

Good for you don’t give up you are brave and lovable and intelligent and a lot of other wonderful things..congratulations to you and may god bless you ❤

[@karen4you]

I hope you have a few good lady friends to help you heal and move on. It's never to late to be true to ourselves.

[@ruthie2222]

Believe me IIona, not all children look after their aging parents! I was a carer in homes and in the community and some of the stories I’ve witness and seen with my own eyes, would break your heart! 💔

[@asmith9140]

Me too in my working time before my stroke i worked as a carer , the hardest part was trying to excuse their childrens reluctance to take care of parents

[@kerff5358]

It's a shame this goes on especially if they did they're best by their kids but...for some (not all) there's a reason. They'll have aged out of anger or they present a different side of themselves to others but not their kids.

[@kerff5358]

You deserved better than that horrible bloke. Nowt wrong with living on your own and staying independent. 🌸

[@racheldavies7065]

​@@kerff5358 sadly some parents/people reap what they what they sow. However I agree that there are a great many who have done nothing to warrant this

[@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206]

How do you know they were good parents worthy of being looked after by their children when they are old?... I never saw my biological father until I was 25 years old...So when I found out he had a stroke and is now paralyzed down one side my spare time is FAR too valuable to waste it looking after him... EVERY story has two sides. Always find out all the facts before you pre-judge, please.

[@pearl2910]

You’re a Wonderful ‘Free Spirit’ !! 🌻💫

[@karen4you]

Side note. I asked 35 widows in my church if they missed being married and only one wanted to be married again. Interesting what you learn about if you ask.

[@katherinekeon7034]

I don't like to be dominated by having to be in servitude to a man. They're very few of them that don't make you feel like that. So no I don't want to be hit and kicked in slap. I don't want to be taken out because I was beautiful and smart than beating down because I was beautiful and smart. I don't want to be called fat and ugly and no good work wasn't nothing. Yet when you couldn't get your hands on me I was the best thing alive. Then well they say it's a man's world. I love being single. I love it. I will never ever go back to being harnessed by a man. Road forever their way. What they want. They get or they hit, beat us, take our money p, very few don't. For god sakes look at our governments throughout the world. Men have destroyed this world. And every women out there that has a man that doesn't do that to her. You hit the jack pot.

[@juliasener9607]

Don't ever change Ilona. We love you just as you are 😘

[@wendylou5852]

I don't think your selfish. I think you are smart and you know what you want.

[@SuperSpoonification]

I don't blame you staying single. Nobody to tell you what to do

[@portiabrown2913]

I met "The One" and we had 29 exceptional years and 4 wonderful children together. He died suddenly 21 years ago. I know I could never find another like him so haven't looked. I'm not lonely, grateful for my past and fill my days with all sorts. You can live with me Ilona later, I mean it. Best wishes XX

[@katherinekeon7034]

You stories beautiful. When you've had the best like you have. You don't settle for the rest. God rest your husband God Rest him. You're a smart woman.🕊♥️🌸🙏

[@marie34K]

Hello Ilona . Why would being single be selfish ? It is just how your life happened . Sometimes you meet someone you feel very compatible with , sometimes you don’t meet that person . Being single is easier on many fronts .And less work for a woman .

[@ashleybosvik3031]

As a woman who is close to eighty your in exceptional shape.

[@Jesusofsuburbia768]

Surely IIona is not close to 80?!

[@cherylparkinson6136]

You had your head screwed on right ! Unfortunately I married my first boyfriend at 18 . What a total Arseoil he was , violence & alcoholism followed from him , I had 2 baby’s in 10 months aged 19/20 , Divorced at 22 . Single mother !!!!

[@joannoonan9547]

You are so lucky to be on your own and you look so happy and you seem to be a lovely person so enjoy every minute of it 🐱🐱🐱

[@veronicapawson5686]

You’re a lovely lady xx

[@decluttering-queen1898]

My mum been on her own since 1998ish. She thinks it's wonderful. My dad was a control freak. He thinks he can still control me. I put him in his place . If I could do my life all over again. I would do it in a heart beat and do it different. Take care illona especially when you are walking in the fields on your own. Xx

[@leighwiseman8389]

Hello Ilona, always a breath of fresh air to listen to. I have always envied your life and independence. I admire you greatly. I have been in a very unhappy marriage for 45 years. My husband is a very difficult man and I feel a mug for putting up with it. I have 3 daughters that I love dearly, but when I had a heart attack 18 months ago I realised you cannot rely on your kids to look after you. My eldest was very good but after a week I was getting on her nerves. My middle girl was far too busy with her teenage children and her business. My baby girl who is much younger and a very late baby came down for the week which I very much appreciated but I was firmly told she had to go back up north for her work, she is a scientist. So basically after a week I was f##ked all 3 of them were far too busy and my husband couldn't give a F##k. So when ever I watch your videos I am so happy for you and your life. You always make me smile, I think I would very much enjoy your life and to let you know that you can't rely on your kids to look after you. I think really unless you're really lucky, you've only got yourself to sort yourself out. Please God we all be lucky in our health and strength and live long happy independent lives. Xxxx

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

Thank you for sharing your story. Best wishes. xxx

[@kelliebennett2273]

I am 57 and I have never married. Not that I was opposed to it, kissed many "toads". LOL Decided when I turned 40, I could live without a man but I REALLY wanted to be a mom. So, I was blessed to adopt. My baby is soon going to be 16!!! If nothing else great happens to me in my life it has been perfect!

[@janegallagher6162]

Such an awesome woman. Authentic. Special.

[@christinefoster5019]

you talk an awful lot ,of common sense .lovely to listen to you.

[@tsm7078]

You are one heck of a well adjusted human being! I was married for almost 40 years. It was a loving healthy relationship. I was also fortunate enough to be raised in a loving family where everyone was treated with respect and love. However since my husband passed away I am happy being alone, no reflection on him but simply content and enjoy my own company. I feel rather sad for people that “need” a partner

[@alylebold6526]

You GO Woman Power to You Thank You

[@katherinekeon7034]

Same :-)

[@kerryjames6312]

Same

[@shirleywormald3197]

I just love your attitude to life,really admire your independence,you are an inspiration,really enjoyed this video ❤

[@butterflyj1967]

My parents had their diamond wedding anniversary the other year. Everyone congratulated them and think their relationship is wonderful. But behind closed doors they're awful to each other , very manipulative , every day is a drama. I am in my 50s and have had a series of terrible relationships, some abusive. I now know it's probably because I wasn't taught to have healthy boundaries in relationships. I just don't know how because I have been raised by two narcissistic parents so how could I know what is healthy and what is not relationship wise. Now I'm afraid to have another relationship and stay single.

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

Thank you for sharing your story. xxx

[@HenriettaHudson-we4wv]

If I had a choice between being 62 and happy (me) and being 90 and miserable, (my father) I'll take the former any time, any day! My dad is one of the most saddest people around. In the three years that I lived with him after my mothers' death, he was a gaslighting narcissist who dragged my mothers' name through the mud. The best thing I've ever done was to move out for my mental health. Being on my own and living alone has taught me independence, being responsible for my health and to have real friends through my new church! I'm lucky to live in an area where it's a walkable area with access to grocery stores, computer stores, etc. In the three years that I've lived with my dad, the deepest lesson I've ever learned is that you can give a man a baby, but you can't make him a father!!

[@sarahkennedy1481]

Less money and support if single. A good husband is wonderful but a bad one is hell.

[@margaretbauer4126]

As a single woman for 25 years post divorce, I feel complete. Love my freedom to roam around the Earth! Sure, I miss companship, but I also find friendship with my first grade friends better than with my own siblings. I am free but never lonely. I enjoy my own company. I don't think that's wrong. I need my space in my mornings and in my evenings. It calms me to deal with my daily grind! I too, have chosen this life! At this stage in my life, I give no chances. There are so many takers out there. I love getting older and wiser!

[@InaWorldfullOfHearts]

Such a Beautiful Free Spirit you are. You are inspiring, real, down to earth and true. I learn so much from you. I'm thankful you are here. Thankful for all you share. I think you are quite a giving person, look how many things you share with us. Thank you Ilona, Thank you! Sending Big Hugs! 🌼♥ Your friend, Dawn.

[@charlotterice7418]

Thank you Ilona. Its so good to hear someone say that having kids wasnt for them. Its never been for me either and I have had an awful lot of abuse over the years for not wanting children. Each to their own I say.

[@Tia-Louisa]

Same and I'm 45 now. It sucks having to keep explaining that I love kids, I just didn't want to be stuck for the rest of my life with a spiteful, selfish Manchild.

[@kittierney8394]

Single life is amazing I am 75 I love been on my own ,I have a loving family, who looks after me if needed ,lots of love to you ❤️

[@elaine8955]

On our way to ingleton North Yorkshire, today we saw Canadian geese. What a coincidence x

[@Aussie19646]

I've been single for 10 years now and they've been the best years of my life. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, and if I want 😂

[@christophercrow233]

Wonderful video! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Love from the USA.

[@dink8125]

Before I even watched the video, your title "Why am I still single?' elicited my outloud comment "Because you've got more sense than most. Including me!" Will now watch vid. (I am SoutherlyTexanEdith on your blog.) Watched the vid. Agree with Motten 100%.

[@carolynhiscock9457]

A lot of families were very similar to yours .

[@aljocammo765]

You're a very wise and honest woman. Thanks for this video.

[@vixxcottage]

I love being single. Was married once and that was enough for a lifetime. Lasted a few years. Realized that was the only time in my life I was lonely. Never wanted to get married again. Very happy and content. Enjoy doing things with friends. Enjoy my alone time. I too believe our childhood influences our future lives.

[@nicolebowerman7979]

I was in a series of domestic violence relationships all my life. Then I met the loveliest most gentle kindest man that had been through similar. We have been together almost 3 years now. I’m 41 he’s 45 and we are newly engaged. He has three older kids I don’t have any. We don’t live together yet. I’m a full time carer for my dad. My fiancé comes over to my place and I go to his. The moment I knew he was the one was when my cat jumped on his lap. Sounds silly doesn’t it ~ my cat hates everyone but not him

[@rhondacromer1474]

I have been happily single and at 65 find myself happier and more content every year.

[@Billiard-cp1my]

I can understand all of your experiences Ilona. I had a lot of boyfriends and relationships over the years but never met "the One". I am now 62 and would dearly love to meet a nice man for companionship and cuddles. I have a son and a large extended family but they all have their own lives so I am often on my own. I have a few friends but don't see them that often. I love watching your vlogs and think you are so brave to go out for walks on your own in the countryside.Tfs xx

[@Hardyfamily100]

Your a very wise lady x

[@UnStrungHero]

I read a quote once that said Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. Wish I had seen it years ago!

[@maryallr]

Sometimes living with someone diminishes who we are or want to be. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. You can have a full life just being yourself. The younger we are, the more we expect people to be a certain way, and when they aren't, we blame them. We overlook their faults or differences thinking they will change. That's not fair to either person.

[@marylynch951]

Yes absolutely agree I was very lonely in that marriage Thank God I am not anymore

[@beltingtokra]

Single almost 30 yo here, society is aimed at couples, but if you have the money, you can do your own thing and be very happy Single. One day i would love to meet a nice man, but if I don't, I know I can rely on myself and be happy.

[@clairebiddle8290]

Ilona you are a very wise inspiring lovley lady .💕💕

[@dawnbluedragon16472]

Married 26 years similar experience to your parents, single 20 years pure bliss and your right my idea of being stuck with another person as a partner is my idea of BORING 😅

[@claireslattery7]

Your an inspiring Lady ❤️

[@valsplace1able]

You’re back story and experiences has allowed you to be introspective and you have made choices reflective of those life experiences. We all have our own journeys and create Our own boundaries. I am in awe of your boundless energy and positivity x

[@FaithJRB]

Grown up children don't tend to care for their elderly parent. They are too busy workingto pay the morgage. In the past daughters looked after the parents but now care homes do that or carers come in to assist to allow people to hold on to their independence for as long as possibe. So not having children hasn't put you at a disadvantage. Some people will stay in corrosive relationships rather than live alone. You are right. Pleasing youself is very freeing and you only have to do your own laundry😁

[@davidtomkinson1570]

Sometimes a compromise is doing something niether of you want to do. Living alone has many things to recommend it.

[@marypetson]

I absolutely agree with you. I am on my own too. And I too could of got married. But I never meant anyone that I could imagine being with for the rest of my life. I get a bit lonely now and then. But most of the time I am happy on my own. I have my pets and my home. Also a little job. But now I'm in my sixtys. And I have no regrets. You are doing a fabulous job minding your self. And you have a lovely personality. So you take care. Love from Ireland 🇮🇪💚

[@nikkijackson2981]

Hello Ilona, I think you are very wise regarding life's decisions & all of these matters. I myself have given 25 of my 42 years to relationships.. Well no more! We only have one life and it's genuinely getting harder and harder to find somebody worth their salt/ to accommodate a.n.other. I do have one beautiful nr 18 y/o daughter and genuinely wouldn't change that for all the world (as hard as it's been at times!) However what you don't have you don't miss and I feel in many a way like yourself and had I not had my child I feel this could easily have been me speaking in 30 yrs time. Definitely 100% done with the males tho 😒 for good!. Love, love, love your blogs. Take good care xxx 💕♥️💕

[@rosenamarshall5502]

I was in a bad marriage for nearly 20years I wasted my time trying to support him he was an alcoholic and the lies mind games and abuse I can’t describe so I never want to be with anyone again I value my peace and no drama . I always say I do not expect my girls to look after me in old age I would of had my life and wouldn’t expect them to give up theirs by looking after me .

[@gailm1230]

Good on you, Ilona! The most insulting comment I get when I tell people that I'm not looking --is to ask if I am gay? It's insulting to me who was married 25 long years, and it's insulting to all the gay women out there who are in same sex loving relationships. Leaving was the best decision I ever made. I am content, completely on my own. Should have done it a long time ago!

[@marianne8280]

You are a comfort Ilona. I am also single and have no children. Somtimes I think, who is going to take care of me when I am getting old, but why worry, what will be will be!

[@elainech6387]

Most adult children don’t take care of their parents anyway. I work with the elderly. Many children live in other towns or countries. Other have children and work commitments. Any many just don’t want to care for their parents. I have children and there is no way I’d expect, or want them, to take care of me when I’m old.

[@marianne8280]

@@elainech6387 I have an old friend, 91 year and he has three children who cares. They have fought for his rights, so now he has an apartment in a elderly home. Don`t you have anyone who stands by you and look after what you need it can be hard.

[@elainech6387]

@@marianne8280 I don’t need help at the moment. I’m only 60. However, I don’t believe my children should help me. I chose to have them, and to bring them into this awful world - they’ve both had hard lives, they owe me nothing.

[@annem5899]

Llona,you are such a pleasure to listen round a true inspiration x

[@honestyandtruth6847]

Yes, my parents were arguing a lot: it took me years to know that my mother had a nervous breakdown after the menopause, it was not diagnosed then but my father was very supportive towards us children. I had numerous boyfriends when young and got engaged but his sulks stopped me marrying him - i found out that he had sulking fits with his mother and sister (both lovely people); his sulking apparently lasted up to two years - that was with his sister. I am sorry that he has not been able to stay friends with me but never mind, i wish him well.

[@lisasmith2103]

Love hearing about your life 😚 I grew up with parents the same, my dad was evil to the core and left me mum and my sister with PTSD . Dad mentally bullied me til I left home rushing into a marriage a man 12 yrs older than me and he did same . I been single 9 yr nearly now and like you seem to be better on my own as can’t find anyone good enough for me 😢 Glad you are settled now , maybe one day me and you can go out on the pull 😅 Bless your soul , namaste xxx

[@kitbenson8078]

Your father sounds very similar to mine. He lived the life of a single man his entire life. Having children doesn't (and shouldn't, necessarily) guarantee their help in our old age. You've got your head screwed on the right way!😉

[@kerryjames6312]

I had five children three children left home one is getting married my children will not take care of me as I age

[@veronicwbrennan4002]

It's beautiful where you are walking. I do hope though that you don't always take the same route. I have been on my own for over thirty years,and have travelled extensively alone. But, I don't take unnecessary risks. Stay safe. Like you I forgive... once.

[@aured1310]

I know there are happy marriages out there but personally I know very few If any. Trust me, many of those “happily married” men are out there looking for something on the side.

[@tanyacurtis2884]

Another thing is that people can also change over time. I got married at 19 and my husband was such a happy go lucky person. We gradually moved up the ladder from a humble little house to bigger and better houses and then into a better area. That's when things started to change. He started putting on airs and graces, got a posh car and moving in different social circles/clubs that were not very welcoming to wives/women. It got to the point where I did not recognise him as the same man and he had no interest in my interests so after 29 years I left. I have not looked back and am very, very happy in my own company doing the things that I really enjoy.

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

Hello. Thank you for sharing your story. My mum used to say that moving up the ladder was getting ideas above your station. People will always make changes in their life, but if you are a couple you have to consider how the other partner will take it. Will they come with you on your new journey, or will they wish to stay within the circle of friends they already have. It's so much easier to be single.

[@romans8385]

That was engrossing, especially in that while so young, your 20s, you looked at life and listened to your heart when so many of us do not. Introspection. I don't mean you knew it all, who can, but you listened to your gut and that is good. I'm glad you dodged a bullet with the wrong-minded man. It is a funny old life. I was married for more years than alone. I'm thankful for that time, but I am also content and happy living alone. I've been lonely sometimes, but that is part of being human, and it passes. I keep my own hours and my own little life, and it's good. Thank you for this video, Ilona. Again, I found it absorbing.

[@margaretomahony7528]

You didn't miss much 🤣

[@cherylanne4390]

When I grow up I want to be like you. Just kidding, I am in my late 60's. I have been married and divorced twice and it is a very painful process. I wish I had my head screwed on like you. Children grow up and move away, far away. Ultimitely although I am in a good relationship now, we are really alone. Power to your elbow. I really enjoyed listening to this vlog. You are inspiring.

[@karen4you]

Well said! Our families do shape us when we are children. Then we learn what we want as we leave home to make our own decisions. I babysat some children for ten years and had 12 hour days with them plus married to a man who like me didn't want to have children ( he had distant ones that never visited as a strained ex relationship). Now a widow I like the no compromise life. We have to pick what suits us. No regrets if we are true to ourselves. And now we have a cat friend.

[@Gracefulness718]

You are wise and a free spirit 🙂

[@marco5718]

A very interesting and reflective video Illona. You are an inspiration to many of your followers. In today's world, due to the structure and many demands of modern life, children frequently don't or can't look after their infirm parents or relatives; hence the growth of nursing and care homes in Britain and the US. I would therefore say that whether one has children or not, doesn't really impact upon who will care for us if we become infirm one day. I would however hazard a guess that on the balance of probabilities given your level of fitness, and continued physical and mental levels of activity you will most likely live a long and active life till the end (God willing).

[@jane6517]

You are the spitting image of my mom and one sister! You have my mom’s smarts and common sense. I sent your video to one of my sisters and she wanted to know where I got this lol. I am a new subscriber and fully agree with your attitude about being single. I wish I learned it a lot sooner. Friends cannot understand my attitude regarding another relationship. I am enjoying having a relationship with myself!

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

That made me smile. I quite like me. I am the sort of person who I would choose to be my partner.

[@janeelizabeth6711]

I think you are a very wise lady Ilona.

[@bria2596]

There are many things worse than being single. Even in "good" relationships, women spend years waiting for their husbands to come home - years, and it is expected of them to wait. There is a lot of freedom in singleness - you can come and go, as you like. As for old age, many things can be done to help prepare our homes, and keep our health good, so that we can remain independent most of our lives.

[@sharonjojo]

Really lovely video IIona, I admire you greatly enjoy your freedom & live life to the full as you do anyway! keep looking forward & do not return to painful memories too often 💐x

[@garyrobinson8665]

I just split with my girlfriend. Found out that she is a narcissist. She was acting the whole time and using me. I wish I'd got out sooner. I will stay single from now on.

[@marktrvls1218]

Don’t think I have ever come across a woman that is not narcissistic to some degree

[@Jesusofsuburbia768]

Narcissists are nasty pieces of work, I've met a few of those. You're better off without them

[@Patsy-May]

@@marktrvls1218 you haven’t come across many women then.

[@robertanderson2142]

Great vid IIona totaly agree ive been single 25+ year's and very happy im now living in a wee camper van and can go anywhere 👍👍

[@lauraslilhomestead9208]

Great video ! You make a lot of sense …. I’m sorry about your childhood :(

[@audreybagshaw5231]

There are many more advantages to being single ...I say that from within a very happy relationship..however I spent many years single and loved every minute...and would definitely manage to enjoy myself should I become single again..love your chats ..keep up the good work x

[@janeallen7679]

What a lovely, wise and well balanced lady you are Ilona. I guess there are pluses to being single and pluses to those who’ve been lucky enough to find a long term loving relationship. I think many couples just end up jogging along together and yes, compromise is needed on both sides. And if you are a twosome who knows what’s round the corner? One ending up caring for the other or being the one left on their own eventually. You are so right about Christmas too! As my husband says there’s no such thing as a perfect family - families tend to be messy. Well done for making your own decisions and being happy with the path you’ve chosen x

[@kerryjames6312]

I find keeping busy helps I never am looking for a partner I gave up looking a very long time so.e good friends is a better idea

[@MissFeline]

I used to date quite a lot but realised they were only after one thing, time and time again it was all going well and then they would show there true colours and go and do something that would tell me everything I needed to know. I woke up one morning to a video a guy I had been on a few dates with, I don’t think I need to spell out what he was doing. I decided to go it alone I’m 47 now and love being single, no minds games, just have myself to think about and life is good. People always ask me am I still single and always think it’s a shame😅 I tell them I’m happy as I am.

[@elainewhitelock5347]

Relate so much to what you've said. And enjoy living on my own too.

[@Patsy-May]

I am single with 2 adult children. I don’t expect them to look after me, nor do I want them to. After all it’s forcing a choice on them. When and if the day comes and I can no longer look after myself, I will put myself in to aged care.

[@davidthomas-ot4cl]

Being happy is the most important thing. If you're happy being single then that's all that matters.

[@rosaanton5704]

Sorry about your storie Illona, so sad..You,re a very brave woman 😘😘😘

[@juliebrooke6099]

I really don’t think it’s a sad story on the whole although obviously a few sad events at times.

[@paulinegriffiths2999]

Hi Ilona I think u made a sensible decision by not having children. We had 2 straight away once we were married.we never did for one if we could not do for 2.both are girls with families of there own.We gave them money for deposits for their houses and all was well for year's. When the eldest had children we looked after them while she went bk to wk plus 2 dogs. Then my husband got seriously ill and I needed help as I have heart trouble.At first I got help then over a silly argument the day before my husband had a serious operation .and I told the daughter to get out and stop worrying g her father she left and I haven't seen her for 15yrs.Her children are in their 20s now but we don't see them either.Then 18mths ago the 2nd daughters partner said he doesn't want to see bus again , we still do not know why and we haven't seen her or our grandchildren. So don't think /ilona that your children look after u , because ours haven't.i am disabled and my muscles are breaking down and I have a dodgy heart.We do what we can and as my husband has been left with internal organs missing he cannot work about like he used to so we care for each other.Your instincts taught u well dear stay single.

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

Thank you for sharing your story. Best wishes. ilona

[@katherinekeon7034]

I'm sorry about your children. My mom was abusive and cruel. I laid her to rest because none of the boys wanted to have anything to do with her just the money that she left them. She left me nothing. It's still my trust fund that my grandfather her father had left me. All the Wicked Ways of people and then they want their children to solve their woes. And then sometimes children just aren't into doing that. And then other times that have parents who caused woes to the children. Let us all have love and kindness and forgiveness in our hearts and soul. But most especially know take care of myself to thy self be true.

[@paulinegriffiths2999]

Thank u Ilona wish u all the best, soon be time for CAR CAMPING hooray xpauline.

[@pattycake8272]

O the freedom you have, I admire that, I to grew up in a broken house and feel like I'm tired of people leaving me, but I too get out if I don't feel a connection be it family or friends. My daughter felt guilty because she didn't want kids either, I told her if she don't want them then for sure don't have them, the neighbor had enough to take up the slack.

[@whichypoohs]

Wise words and great content. Thank you 🌸

[@deborahbain9915]

I was married Never Again I love the Single life

[@dianahogg6164]

I admire you and praise you. You had the will to do what you felt was right for you. Amazing inner knowledge. Great video.

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

Hello. I continue to do what I feel is right for me. Because I don't follow the official narrative in these trying times, I am continually attacked for my beliefs. I won't give in though. Thank you for your comment. ilona

[@marktrvls1218]

Thanks for sharing your story, I’m 43, single no kids and am in between whether I want the hassle of a relationship or not

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

It depends on the kind of life you have in mind for yourself. You may be very lucky and find your perfect partner, but if not, I would be very cautious and not get mixed up with someone who is second best. If in doubt, run away. ilona

[@paulahastings7865]

I think it great that you figured out what you wanted in life! I'm a widow and single now. And enjoying it!

[@janepearson5802]

Life is what it is .no regrets.

[@donnaallison7462]

I have been single now for 10 years and I wish I had left a lot sooner than I did. These last 10yrs have been the happiest I've had.Both of my marriages were very bad . I think there is way more advantages to being single especially when it seems like the only people you extract are the ones that think that they can abuse you.I WANT EVER GIVE MY LIFE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN EVER.MUCH HAPPIER SINGLE.

[@cmacdonald1197]

I agree 💯 with your last 2 sentences. I’m 47 now and decided 3 years ago I was done with romantic relationships. Haven’t looked back yet and don’t think I will. Am very happy with my profession, 2 cats, friends, and town I live in.

[@katherinekeon7034]

@@cmacdonald1197 same only 19 years Manfree. Amen

[@margaretbrett2328]

Well said 💕

[@kerryjames6312]

I agree with you single life is for me that's it

[@katherinekeon7034]

Same I've never been happier in my life and being away from my abusive mother. Getting away from my abusive first husband. Darn if I didn't turn around early 10 years later and do it again. And I mean totally free is my ex passed away a few weeks ago. Still always felt his abuse connected to me and my child strings of abuse. So glad to be free

[@kerryjames6312]

@@katherinekeon7034 glad am not only one who is glad to cut off ties with abuse mom and her side of the family they were so toxic should have done it earlier I feel at peace to be honest

[@lauragibbs7859]

Thanks for sharing about being single. I have a similar background so I really relate to what you said.

[@lindacleveland1289]

Ilona I’ve always felt that you are a woman who is happy in your own skin, and that is all that matters 🤗

[@dianeb7420]

You have to do what is best and what makes you happy! Stay blessed Ilona.💕🙏

[@kerryjames6312]

There are only advantages being single I am aged 54 prefer single life my mom and dad argued so much my first husband beat me and children second husband was an alcoholic and used drugs I then met a man used to see him for seven years caught him cheated so been single since and loving my single lifr

[@katherinekeon7034]

Yes. I don't ever want a man again. Steal your love and life. Rinse by there just and privates. Yuck. No I am not gay.

[@ian1184]

thanks for your blog, I feel the same way you do.

[@darlenecoats8996]

I miss your usual entro "mean queen here, life after money"

[@veemcg3682]

I've remained single too Ilona because I couldnt trust myself not to fall for a b*****d and become a battered wife. I loved children but didn't want to take the chance as my parents didn't split up but spent their entire marriage verbally and physically abusing each other and I felt like piggy in the middle. I think you are very wise.

[@meanqueensuperscrimper8908]

I feel so sorry for the kids stuck with waring parents. It was a relief when my mum decided to get out, she should have gone sooner. She found us a cheap rental house. I survived but many children are scared for life.