What Are Side Effects of Dysphoria if Left Untreated?

[@harlielitton6210]

The observation that "no amount of mental activity will solve the problem" finally landed for me during this video. I constantly keep cycling back to looking for the answer that will alleviate the stress and anxiety of not feeling right in my body and in my life. "It requires medical intervention" is a lightning bolt that makes me feel more alive and ready to end the relentless and useless mental processing. Thank you Dr. Z!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and yes, I have yet to see anyone who soled GD with their mind.

[@rogerbertrand8178]

With me too

[@SaraPraks]

You are hero and doing fantastic job. Keep goind and good luck

[@chrisridge68]

I am the mom of a 20 year old transgender woman. Your videos have been so helpful to me. I knew very little about trans people before she came out, and you do a great job explaining the various aspects of gender identity, transition, etc. I realized recently that I'm existing rather than living due to a long standing issue in my life, so I really related to this video. Thank you for all you do!

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for being a supportive parent and sadly yes, many aspects of psyche I discuss are relevant across the board in terms of coping. I am sorry to hear you had this realization and glad you can now do something about it.

[@KR-vc9ol]

yep, definitely. late teens/early 20's I kind of just started giving up on just about everything and floated through life without direction, without caring what next year might bring, and in the words of an old MC Chris tune "take naps and wait patiently for death". the number of things I just didn't care about grew until it also enveloped my family and then i finally went into therapy. dealing with my GD has brought its own obstacles, but they are nothing like how I felt before so for me it's been a net positive.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and so glad to hear you started dealing with it. I agree, the obstacle pale in comparison to living with GD.

[@Gummybearkillerr]

i can relate so hard & im in the same age range . i want to be done dissociating & want to live now before its too late maybe i can save myself now even though it feels like its too late sometimes. i want to evolve & transcend .

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Just gotta say... I can hardcore relate & I also love that you referenced MC Chris. Hope you're doing better these days. 💕

[@KR-vc9ol]

@@ZijnShayatanica I am, thank you! and what a difference 8 months makes since that original post! Still some internal turmoil (part of he process) but I'm feeling downright powerful these days! Also, I love me some old MC Chris, sadly I haven't kept up with his music recently but think I may have to get reacquainted!

[@SaraPraks]

You are hero and doing fantastic job. Keep goind and good luck

[@catherineannemccloskey-ros9500]

I certainly was moving on autopilot before transition. My GD is still massive. In fact, dealing with it takes up a large part of my day. Vocal exercises, when and what I eat, working out, hair, makeup, clothes, you get the point. Then there is therapy,, support group, medical visits to 4 different types of physicians, and trips to the pharmacy. Sometimes I feel like my life revolves around GD, but I am certainly not on autopilot any longer.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am glad you are living vs existing.

[@catherineannemccloskey-ros9500]

@@DRZPHD living is very, very hard work but it beats sleep walking through life.

[@richwilliams2301]

@@catherineannemccloskey-ros9500 I can relate to this. I am early in my transition, but all of the steps I am taking to affirm myself (e.g. skincare, working out, eating healthy, stretching, etc.) are certainly taking up a lot more of my time, but they are all so much more satisfying then the self destructive behavior i was engaged in before. I just feels so good to finally be able to address where I want to go in life. Heck, if nothing else, facing the fact that I may be trans finally gave me enough motivation to go and get a PHP, something I had no interest in doing for 20 years.

[@catherineannemccloskey-ros9500]

@@richwilliams2301 I am truly happy for you. You know the work will go on. As we age there is even more to do. However, we are so worth the time expenditure. All the best my sister,

[@richwilliams2301]

@@catherineannemccloskey-ros9500 Agreed. Best of luck of on your journey!

[@veganarchistcommunist3051]

I've been going through dissociation for a long time. My coping mechanisms were absolutely not healthy and only made my issues worse.

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear.

[@I-need-astro-research]

What do your disassociation symptoms feel like?

[@apocalypse12345]

Yes , I was disassociating feeling I'm high , it's really painful, dysphoria is hell

[@SaraPraks]

You are hero and doing fantastic job. Keep goind and good luck

[@veronicamccormick8520]

As someone who came out and started hormones at 41, this hits me. I merely existed my whole adult life, and emotionally dissociated to the point I genuinely believed I had no emotions.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@SaraPraks]

You are hero and doing fantastic job. Keep goind and good luck

[@MrMonoposon]

Same at 35

[@squarefrog]

Damn… this describes me perfectly..

[@Bristae]

I can absolutely relate to everything in this. I didn't realize what was the "noise" in my life until I was 42. It caused me issues in all facets of my life from school, relationships, my own self growth and my career growth. I had no patience with people around me and I was highly irritated at all things. I had a bad temper. I was not a good spouse at all. I was emotionally abusive. I didn't want to be. But deep down I knew something was wrong and I didn't know what it was. It was always there. But once it clicked that feeling and "static" was gone. It was like I saw colors for the first time. Things I struggled to do before came easier, I found success in many things finally as I transitioned. Today. I am happy and successful. I am no longer that miserable tortured person. I am living.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad to hear you took control of your life and are much happier today.

[@fyrebloom]

I very much experienced this. I felt it like static in my nerves and pain. 48 hours on Testosterone and my fibromyalgia was gone. Fatigue, greatly improved. I numbed through food and sex and cannabis. I’m still learning to live.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I hope things continue to improve for you.

[@antonyshadowbanned]

2-year update? 🙃

[@christiewoods325]

Hi Dr Z, As an older transgender woman socially transitioning at age 61 I would say I've experienced and see in myself the things you describe here. Including the comments from others about me over time as well as in the present and being my more authentic self. I would say the current trend(?) to emphasize mindfulness and being in the moment is something I've had to learn over time. I think there is more to it than 'background static noise in you head'. For me, it was a complicated filter that reviewed incoming comments and interactions with others as well as a complicated filter to limit and verify I did not expose my authentic self in any way, shape, or form to those I interacted with. It became something that kept me out of the moment just based on sheer need to process before responding or interacting with others. If I appeared slow or thoughtful it was probably me stuck in my filters making sure I stayed stealth as a 'passing as male' transgender woman. I think trans folks are not the only one's with these issues you described. Many people who find themselves married with kids and working one or more jobs are also prone to disassociation and a 'background static noise in their heads' for those unexpressed or unexplored parts of themselves as they meet their daily needs and the needs of those around them. Trying to do all that while dealing with gender dysphoria? Been there, done that and it wasn't fun. Numb at times? Yes many times, but having a loving, supporting partner who knows my authentic self helps and this may have been the key thing what helped me through it all without turning to alcohol, drugs, or running away from my life screaming. In that sense, I feel fortunate. Hugs! Christie

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I agree, mindfulness is essential for grounding.

[@christiewoods325]

@@DRZPHD I don't know if you replied before I added the piece "I think there is more to it than 'background static noise in you head'..." if so, you might want to consider what I've said as something to address at some point in your videos if you haven't already. Thank You for All You Do! Christie

[@matildab2231]

As someone still using intoxicants as a disinhibitor to access the space I need to feel real, I appreciate your success with escaping the surely, hopefully one day, unnecessary andcounterproductive prop. Respect. M xXx

[@nampajn]

You really describe my feelings. This is exactly what my life has been like. I have been on hormones for 9 months and the light is starting to show up at the end of the tunnel. These videos have saved my life. Thank you Dr. Z. Greetings from the Arctic Circle in Finland

[@DRZPHD]

So glad to hear the content is helpful and all the way in Finland!!! Incredible.

[@themsel-in-distress]

Just out of curiosity from someone that has always questioned their gender assigned at birth (female), was part of you worried of regretting hormones?

[@Tiana_atr]

@@themsel-in-distress As AMAB (assigned male at birth) I absolutely was. I was terrified of thinking what if I'm wrong. But eventually I hit a point where I couldn't get any farther just thinking about things and had to take another step. I've been on hormones for a couple months and honestly I'm feeling much better. Even when I'm hit with doubts and imposter syndrome again I ask myself "Would you stop taking hormones then?" and immediately answer "hell no" because even in the depths of doubt I realize how much better it makes me feel that thinking about stopping is a no go. It helps for me that estrogen is very slow and mostly reversible. It takes 3 months for most physical changes to really start, but I'm now at a point where I'm frustrated at how slow it is =P. Testosterone works a bit faster and has a few more irreversible changes based on what I've read, but still takes a month to really start physical changes and a few months for the major irreversible stuff starts. I'd post a couple links to charts showing changes on E and T, but unfortunately youtube doesn't really like links anymore and automatically removes comments with them. My advice is don't rush into it, but also don't be too afraid to start either. While T is faster and more irreversible than E, you still got a few months for the irreversible stuff kicks in to change your mind.

[@jennysquibb7440]

I wish I had been told this in my youth. There is SOOO much truth here. I just didn’t realize how bad dysphoria was for a long time. I’m still working on stopping dissociation habits after decades. The piloting a robot feeling really hits home.

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Yes I wish more people spoke of this effects.

[@jennysquibb7440]

@@DRZPHD fortunately, I’m getting better :) I’m so glad you are doing what you do!

[@wildlifedrawings]

I was doing pretty well for most of my life just being "tomboyish." It wasn't until I became a mother and took on the mother role that my mental health declined. I am in my 40s and have just discovered that I am nonbinary. I know the stress of being a parent is part of the situation, but I am now wondering how much is dysphoria.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry dysphoria may be present for you especially as you parent.

[@denisgaudreau7512]

I'm 61 I have been on autopilot for a very long time I. I concentrate on work or I keep busy if I decide to transition of even part time ...here comes the financial problems .so im skrewed either way

[@paule5778]

I personally hugely resenting a lot of cisgender wives and mothers for sailing through womanhood when I couldn't. I called myself a total loser and didn't realise at all that I was competing against women on quite different premises

[@kaa2012]

My story is the same, feel you. This is our new beginning, finally ❤️

[@Hhhhhhhhh186]

I feel the same way with motherhood. You are not alone.

[@lucidghostgirl686]

Upu are absolutely right. I'm 55 this month and I left it so long. I really believed it would go away; the it being me the female. What u found is you become tormented , but you carry on...you have breakdown after breakdown. At school I could never listen to anything, I was somewhere else. I tried to transition in 2000. But I ended up due to fear in a locked ward for trying to kill myself. When I got sober I was even more afraid. And in 2014 I finally gave up fighting the very core of who I am. It was exciting and euphoric. Now I feel as though I'm existing again. As a young woman. Waiting, not even on the first rung of maslows ladder. I have destroyed myself by repressing myself. My life is ruined, all I can focus on is surgery. I do play many instruments I taught myself. And music is one thing that I can escape into. I often wonder if I was born with correct biology how my life would have been so different. I wish I could turn the clock back, but society in 70s/80s was awful. Now those of upu are young, think about what I have said...Dr Z is absolutely right. I've become so accustomed to existing it's brought with it not only serious mental problem and alcoholism, but physical conditions. Of course I'm luck to have experienced some joy. But the neurone pathways become harder to break the longer upu leave it. I live a lie to others but more importantly to myself. Your unconcious mind knows who you are, and when ypu think you have relief from dysphoria, your sub conscious is still suffering, this is my experience. But I know many others who have shared similar. Thank a video like this gives hope. Especially if you're young. People do support, and I used to think no one will ever love me, but this is just a delusion. Because ypu can never love and be yourself. You just create more and more fear, panic. Isolation...you will be surprised how many people will love you, keep with those people. They are your friends 💜

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and you touch base on unconscious mind which is huge and often dismissed.

[@lucidghostgirl686]

@@DRZPHD yes it's only an illusion it dysphoria isn't there. Its always there, on reflection I can see this. At the time it is impossible to, but then something happens and you know. A dream. A nightmare. Night terror..ypu come put of denial, but don't know how to achieve that which upu think is impossible. I opened a small door each time. If it felt right I went on and opened the next and so on...here I am the impossible young woman. Remember ypu are not your body, your are your consciousness, this tells you who you are. When o ask prow this question they always state the obvious... Ypu can have dysphoria and not realise you've got it, it's always there. It crashes your cache. Your ram and fills up your hard drive, and when that happens we break down. So please open one door, go for therapy, what have ypu got to lose? You don't have to come out. You only do that when you are ready and once that door is open you are free. Ps please excuse spelling. This is a physical ailment of repression. I have progressive essential tremor. My brain and nervous system are broken. Life doesn't have to be like this for you. If you're reading this, ypu have some gender dysphoria, otherwise why else would you be here?

[@hanil_see8136]

Wow, I feel so called out, that’s exactly how I‘m feeling. Unfortunately I’m still stuck in freeze mode after coming out a few month ago because not being present and just existing has become my comfort zone.

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to here. I hope you get out of the freeze mode soon.

[@LeoEelis]

I have been on autopilot with most of my life. I have grown so tired of performing my assigned gender, that I have been mostly self isolating for the last 5 years. I have been just playing video games, sometimes even 16 hours a day. Just to survive the day till I can go to sleep. This spring (after a really, really dark and terrible winter)I decided that I have absolutely nothing to lose anymore (I am 41, divorced, no kids), so if i don't change things now, I don't want to exist anymore. It was 2 weeks of anxiety, but then I finally came out to everyone. I have noticed, that my interests of gaming have diminished really much, but I still hop on games every day, bc of the habit I had for so many years. I don't really know how to break this habit, now that I feel like I don't need this crutch anymore. I have been on isolation, so my social circle is super small, and my family lives far away. Hopefully I can get on T in few months and I am really interested in weight lifting, but leaving the home feels a bit daunting.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I hope you are able to get HRT soon.

[@wazoowi]

"gender dysphoria is not a mental problem" is so key to explaining this to other people especially cisgender people. I'm so glad I found this channel

[@DRZPHD]

Glad you find it helpful.

[@michaelslutsky]

Is there a way to double like a video. This is spot on. The back of my mind just keeps working and I was just telling my wife 2 days ago how it feels like it's like an overheating computer that's constantly thinking but I don't even know about what. It's just occupied with noise. Thank you for this video

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and it makes me sad that it is so spot on for so many people who comment because of the pain you feel.

[@kierandesu2857]

Hi Dr. Z! Thank you for making these videos!!! In summary, I'd say my behavior can be categorized as autopilot. I was almost always in my head and I didn't know what it means to be present. I was very close to dismissing 'be in the present' as some sort of fake feel-good phrases by gurus and 'woke' people. But to say I was just on autopilot doesn't fully encapsulate my own experiences. How I experience my life was... like you said, a robot. Because I was manually controlling every movement that I make, every word that I speak, every reaction that I give. Almost everything was calculated, planned out in my head before executing those movements in the real world. Before I realized this was related to gender dysphoria, I seriously questioned myself if I was a psychopath or a sociopath. I kept looking up the signs of being psycho/sociopath, and while there were some signs that I identified with, it never felt quite right. For one, I know I can care about others, have high empathy, and I was also vegan for animal's well-being. But... then why was I always in my head and planning everything out, feeling like I don't belong in this world, and never, never able to connect with almost anyone? Why do I feel like I always have a mask on? Why do I always switch on a persona before I leave my front door, which has become an unconscious thing after so many years of practice? I've come to realize that now. I planned everything that I say or do before doing them in the real world because I've often been teased about being feminine, or girly, or being gay since young, due to how I behaved or spoke. It was instilled in me that certain ways I behaved was not acceptable and were criteria for being bullied. So I 'man up'. I was really, really good at it too. I emulated how popular guys spoke and acted, imitating their behaviors, even adopted their mindsets. And like an Oscar actor, I played my role so well for so many years that I forgot I started out by playing a role. It was method acting at its finest. And I wondered why I felt like an empty shell.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@ieatkids03]

Ik this is an old comment but I feel the same exact way!! (Albeit transmasc). I also forgot that I was pretending to be a woman. A really hyperfeminine woman with eclectic fashion and makeup but I still felt like a bloke on the inside. I've been performing for other people for so long that I'm still unearthing the person that I've buried away.

[@rodolfogalvan2823]

I was living like that for 47 years of my life today I have changed to fixing that problem with HRT 5 months and I filing so happy! Thanks for your video's, you helped to take the desicion of change!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am so so glad the content helped you move forward. Means I am doing my job right.

[@rodolfogalvan2823]

Yes you do berry well! Excellent job! Thanks so much!

[@MohannedHOS]

When did started to feel gender dysphoria

[@MohannedHOS]

When you was young did you hate playing women games if you male or men games if you female?

[@MohannedHOS]

@@rodolfogalvan2823 so this felling was from your childhood when you was 5 but sorry for my curiosity had you crush on a girl when you was young or a boys sorry for my ask

[@Rassija12]

I have a question: Being social and interacting with people was exhausting really fast. I thought I was just an introvert and can’t handle being around people for a long time. When I transitioned, that stopped and I actually gain energy from being around people. Is this related to the autopilot thing / not living but just existing?

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. It sounds more like social anxiety, which is often a by product of GD. Once a person starts transition or transitions and feels more confident, they enjoy social settings. It can, however, also be that you truly started living vs existing.

[@paule5778]

Self denial and suppression of GD would have taken up all your energy. You experienced more cons than pros in social interactions, producing aversion towards these interactions and putting you off them I the long run

[@Gummybearkillerr]

@@paule5778 definitely a thing i can relate too , its hard to accept when you realize how much gd really holds you back .

[@GwennGates]

Thank you Dr. Z! You are amazing! I started a few months ago questioning my gender and found you channel. You have been truly a life saver. Your video fits me to a tee, throwing myself into my work, returning to college in my mid 50's, taking on major home projects, and anything else to occupy my mind. Your video hit all the marks, right down to the disassociation during sex. I've denied and hidden my feelings for way, way too long (I'm 64 years old). I'm planning on starting therapy with a gender therapist here in the Northeast at the end of September. Thank you so very much for all the great work you do!

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best on your path! Glad to hear the content is helpful.

[@warrenhall8040]

The “white noise” you speak of, for me, was millions of thoughts racing through my head 24/7. Distancing and dissociation began around the age of 12 or 13 (I’m 34 now). For a long time I was just going to work and coming home. Just the thought of doing more than that was absolutely exhausting. I tried running and weight training but it was already difficult enough to get myself out of the house to do anything and the moment an exercise made the GD worse I would stop exercising and isolate myself even more. For about the last 5 years I have been hyper focusing on fixing/restorative projects. It took maybe 2 years to realize each project was a metaphor for myself. After I started taking an antidepressant and anxiety medication I was finally able to truly focus on the real issue; Gender Dysphoria. Early this year I was finally able to begin taking steps toward transitioning. Since the day I began taking those steps I have been able to exercise with some consistency and I have been able to get back into hobbies/activities for the interest and not as a metaphor of fixing myself or preoccupying myself through life.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear you have experienced it for such a long time.

[@heathermichellepetee927]

You nailed my life Dr. Z. I am 69 and finally accepted myself and started HRT and coming out 1-1/2 years ago and you comments here are right on the money.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad you have started! I wish you all the best!

[@PngPg]

i also still struggle with this, but i love how you mentioned external reactions. although i didn't feel the type of relief i was expecting when i acknowledged my journey, almost immediately colleagues and friends started to mention how happy and relaxed i seemed. totally unprompted comments i couldn't see from my personal perspective, but made a huge difference to how supportive people around me felt that shift from existing to living. although i continue struggle to find consistency in my personal perspective and sense of value while working through my internalized transphobia, people feel a difference in how i connect with them and how i connect with situations, and that's been amazing. my chosen name is one of joy, and i truly love that others see this within me even when i question myself. every day is a challenge being early in the process, but the deeply engrained internalized judge is moving aside, and i'm proud of the risk and work i've done. thank you for the reminder, dr. z! :)

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@Gingerdust1970]

Dr Z, thank you for what you do. I’m 51 and I’ve been living my life like this since I went through puberty. What a tough time. You’ve helped me discover what my life has been about. Through you I’ve been able to admit to everyone I know that I am a woman. I’ve known since I was seven years old. You’ve given me the knowledge and understanding of this. For several years I’ve tried to cover it up. No more!!!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am so glad the content helps you take control of your life!

[@martinadee4549]

Yes, Dr. Z, you are talking about me, living with gender dysphoria for decades, trying to survive, not understanding myself, keeping friends and even my spouse at arms length to not disclose myself. My brain working in overdrive all the time. I was publicly humiliated as a young boy causing me to put my "sinful" feminine side in a box with lid on tight for decades, believing there was something wrong with me. Finally accepting my true self at age 69 as transgender female, loving myself now, I am the happiest I've ever been. Thank you Dr. Z for help me to better understand me.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad you are taking control of your life!

[@kristinemcnary5328]

When started transitioned, my life opened up, one of the most striking comments, from people who remained friends, said that before it was as if I had been trapped in some horrible prison, while others said that I was a completely different person, who was my present, focused, holding my head high, and speaking clearly. and yes, I knew from an early age. transitioning as an adult, and yes many of the issues you described in different videos are experienced - Thank you for your support, it's wonderful to see someone who is sharing accurate information. I within the last few months started attending a support group, not because I need direct support but because I can offer support. this is where I learned about you.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am glad to hear you are helping others.

[@krazykarl9z2]

I very much felt like a video game character most of my life, as if there was someone else controlling me and getting me through life. I filled my time with anything possible to avoid the lingering feelings that crept up when I was alone with my thoughts. I wasn't at a place to deal with it yet, and now that I am to process feels slow. A slow process is better than no process, and despite being afraid of what is to come I feel more like I want to be here to see it than ever before.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear.

[@farskye1717]

I literally would pretend to be a robot back when I was in grade school. I've spent my life creating narratives to avoid this exact topic. Thank you for providing this information. So helpful!

[@gwyndolin1536]

A fair amount of time. I was always angry to a degree before, but with transitioning, there is more room of inner peace.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@yourgenderlessfishidk4944]

I’ve never felt more connected to an explanation. Lately I’ve been numb to my body and my life. I can feel myself pull away. I used to have bad dysphoria because I was so invested in my life and my future. I felt present and so that was something weighing on me. Now, I’ve been existing. It’s been getting worse. I feel stuck, hopeless, worthless, and unable to live and attach to people because I would rather be distancing away to isolation and be invested more in the digital world as an escape rather than my real life and people. Im numb to my future and my prospects. I no longer have a vision or hope for the world. I don’t respect myself or the vision others have for me. I’m at one of the lowest points I’ve ever been in my life and I feel myself reverting in emotional maturity and I’m only 19. It’s been so hard. I have no motivation to do anything except use a defense mechanism of distance and avoidance. Thank you sharing you words. And I hope anyone who reads this- you’re not alone.

[@soundoflight8193]

Thank you. So true for most of my 70 years. So much energy dissipated. Such a deeply clever mind devoted to avoidance, shame and fear. Attacking my body and being with poor exercise and diet, sugar & carbs resulting in diabetes, self abuse and mindless masturbation, logically controlling every action of my life, fear of responsibility, channeling my early interest in wearing women's clothes into sexual arousal but still avoiding my femininity, terrified of relationships but desperately craving intimacy. The list goes on, but with an inner drive now to at least let my femininity emerge. So regardless of what I do now, I am discovering who I really am, learning to love, accept and care for myself (and others hopefully) as well and truly deep habits get exposed and die, only to be reborn in this life. Work in progress. My logical controlling mind slowly lets go and hasn't a clue what is coming.

[@dannib7717]

This 1000%. I have lived my whole life with this "white noise" in the back of my head and the dissociation is paralyzing. Wish I had realized this earlier in my life.

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear and I wish you all the best.

[@sarahr620]

Great vid and this is what i did for almost 40 years but I finally started my transition MtF in october 2019. I never though i'd be able to do it but have come out to family, friends and over 1000 customers ( self employed window cleaner ) who have been amazingly supportive and understanding. I rejoined my local Squash & Rackectball club in August this year and have been made very welcome.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad to hear! Thank you for sharing to offer others support that life does exist beyond GD.

[@kaishaman7144]

After I started transitioning (socially at first), I got a ton of comments from people around me that I seem so much more present (in the physical space, in the situation, in the here and now, in life in general) that it really draws attention to it. Not only people close to me but even mere acquaintances have commented on it. And yes, people rarely talk about the inability to focus and concentrate, being absent-minded, sometimes even having memory problems in relation to dysphoria. Only after my life improved in this regard have I started to grasp that these things were related.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Sadly it is often in contrast that we see our behavior more clearly.

[@josephbelisle5792]

You described my entire life. Ive always been in survival mode. The last time I spent any time actually being alive was when I was 3. Between GD and CPTSD, ive existed not as myself. Its a very hard thing to accept you cant think your way out of all of your problems. Its was thinking and using mental functions that kept me alive for so long. Now that I have to face living in my truth, I am often terrified. Its not just the fear of change, the fear of what transitioning means, its all the fears that are part of trauma. Early childhood, severe trauma. Again, I find myself facing tremendous fear and existential terror of being. This has been the hallmark of my life. Its like running a race with your shoes tied together, rocks in your shoes, they are not shoes but ski boots and you were taught to run backwards. Fixing any one of these things brings some relief but doesnt make the race easier. And you still have to put in 150% to even make it seem like you are trying. But you are never really competing or succeeding. You are just in pain, not understanding why you are in pain and everyone just tells you to suck it up and get moving. But you keep moving. Doing your best to simulate running. But everyone figures out there is something wrong with you and ostracizes you. Because you are not normal. You dont fit in. You dont even know where you fit in. And none of it is your fault. But you have to pay for it. Suffer from your biology. Suffer from your family. Suffer from society. Suffer from healing. Suffer to make yourself better. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Ive had it up to here with life constantly trying to make me stronger. Since in utero life has been determined to make me stronger. Yet complaining never makes it better. Another great video.

[@davefisher1840]

This is so helpful. I have been dealing with this for over 70 + years. I had no idea that something was wrong. It came out as OCD. I now know I’m a transgender woman and at 80 years old

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear your pain lasted that long.

[@jimjones7912]

Yes, I've been on Autopilot for over 50 years. Your phrase " ...Disphoria is not a mental problem, it's a Medical problem..." hit me like a ton of bricks! I've just seen a psychiatrist, she sees my disphoria, I will soon see a therapist who is LGBT... oriented. I'm advocating for myself for HRT! I see this as medically necessary! Your content is so important to me and many others! ❤️

[@DRZPHD]

So sorry to hear about autopilot! It’s devastating to live that way.

[@emilygrae]

Oh my goodness this video hits my heart! I take photos of random things through out my day. It's too much work for me to write a journal, but easy to snap a photo here and there. I am glad that I do this because sometimes I am so disassociated that I can think back on my life over the last 10+ years and have no memory of any of it. But I can look back at the photos, especially since phones got cameras on them, and I can see what I was doing and remember that yes I was at least doing something. So I look back and try to see what it was that I was doing that made me happy, that I enjoyed, and also the things that I was doing to just pretend to be a boy, to pretend to live. Now I try to focus my energy on doing more of what actually made me happy, and not what I was doing because it was what was expected of me because I was supposed to be a boy. I have toggled back and forth so long and so often, sometimes multiple times a day, that I have to really stop and think and feel and try to figure out what it is that I really enjoy, what I really want out of life. I live in a certain province in Canada that makes it quite difficult to get an appointment with a psychologist that can help with gender issues, let alone receive any hormone therapy, so it's been wonderful to have Dr. Z and her videos. They have helped me and my wife so very much! I can't thank you enough!

[@DRZPHD]

So sorry to hear dissociation is so present in your life and I am glad that the content is helpful.

[@SisterMisery]

Thank you for this ma'am. My whole life I have been struggling having told my mom at around 4 years old that I was supposed to be a girl and was always told I am a boy that's how it has to be. I recently started looking into being transgender after I no longer have the military to occupy my time and this has been exactly me since I was a kid. The thought has always been there in the back of my head but I thought everyone had these feelings you know. Again thank you for your content.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your pain.

[@matilda4406]

Hi Andrew, before 4 years old, do you think your mum said to you that you were suppose to be a girl? Perhaps you were repeating it back. That's what kids do. I also am interested in the role parents have with kids developing dysphoria. My heart goes out to them

[@SisterMisery]

@@matilda4406 She never did that I can remember. I have always felt wrong or off and that I should be a woman.

[@kaiwannagoback5712]

@@matilda4406 it's easy and tempting to imagine that everything that isn't the usual, with kids, is due to parental or societal influence, but if this were the case, we'd have no transgender people, because almost all of them were transgender despite, not because of, parental and societal influence and expectations.

[@matilda4406]

@@kaiwannagoback5712 Andrew says, "I was always told I was a boy". It may be because all his cells are male. Success is a big deal for men. Do you think there is a chance at successfully changing the DNA functioning of his cells? I wish him success. And much personal acceptance.

[@SimonIris1364]

Without a doubt I was on autopilot for years. I experienced bursts of happiness and joy, sure, but mostly I was just going through the motions. I would put a podcast music on at work and listen to them all day and not interact with the world around me because of how much pain I was in. Now that I'm transitioning I actually enjoy actively participating in my own life and interacting with my coworkers and loved ones

[@EmilyK899]

Aside from engaging in self-destructive behaviours like drinking, my biggest problem has probably been with relationships, whether friends, family, and partners. Something constantly telling me to be secretive about my gender identity and thinking “you don’t really know who I am.” Even though my friends and family now know, and having been on hormones for almost two years, I still struggle a lot in public settings, worried about how I will be perceived. So, for now, I tone it down by still appearing male with hints of femininity, like nail polish, earrings, dyed hair, more ambiguous clothing… But, ultimately I want to be able to dress as I like without having to think about it, just as I would if I had been assigned female at birth. The journey is slow and long!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@s.ribeiro1836]

Thank you so much for the video, Dr. Z! Dissociation is the worse :( I've had episodes during my gender crises. I wondered if trans people were more likely to have dissociation disorder because it makes so much sense that when you feel so distressed about your body, as in gender dysphoria, that your mind would disconnect you from yourself, others, and the world.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and yes, it is. I plan to do a video just on this topic alone.

[@robimorrison1743]

I have watched a lot of your videos and have commented on a lot of them. I turned 60 years old and have suppressed who I really all of that time. Seeing this video it represented all the issues I have dealt with all these years. Not living just existing. I have started transitioning. I have released the part of me who I kept suppressed and am taking the time to get to know the real me. My transition has had to change. I can't have estrogen because of health. I can't go back, I won't be a boy, I am ALWAYS FEMALE! I don't know where my journey leads but I'm finally on the right path. NEVER EVER GOING! I AM FINALLY ME 😁. HI EVERYONE I'M ROBI

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am glad you found yourself.

[@EVAKAT]

Unfortunately, all these are sound familiar... I did everything in order to avoid thinking it for many years.. Result I was exaggerating in the working hours, studying or recreational activities. It was very exhausted. Also, I became extremely cynic, pessimistic and lived in auto pilot. Until today I have serious problems to focus in present, connect with people and of course sexual interaction is almost out of the deal. This because I lost my interest, I feel only romantic attraction and any other contact makes my feel uncomfortable, valnurable and anxious. So I guess yes it's nice to adapt but better to solve the problems.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Yes short term adaptability is ok. Its long term that becomes a problem.

[@kenhuisingh3962]

Yes true. Why is being ok with having Gender Dysphoria the key to a happy life? Would love to hear comments on this please.

[@k.lambda4948]

I have realized that, on top of my gender issues, I am - and pretty much always have been - a "gray" asexual. Yes physical intimacy is in there somewhere, but it takes a long time to develop. I haven't yet made up my mind if this is parallel to the gender dysphoria, or if it is a result of it, but I have definitely had the experience of dissociating in sex...to the point where, on a personal level, I feel a bit like I have never really had sex. It certainly doesn;t seem to be as great as cis/het/neurotypical people make it out to be, anyway.

[@sagagrace9957]

Thank you, Dr. Z, for your videos and your advice on GD. I went through YEARS living on autopilot without realizing what was causing my feeling of being disconnected with my body and environment. It has only been through research and introspection in the last year that I learned my problem has a name. I've accepted that I'm non-binary mostly because I HATE my assigned gender. However, my struggle has continued as I'm discovering that I may be a Transwoman. It's scary, but your videos have been helpful and encouraging to me.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I hope the videos will continue to encourage you to move forward.

[@KEROSENE9898]

Oh my god, everything you've said in this video applied to me. I have been describing my past life as "existing" for many months now - from the age of 12-52 I lived in a world of trauma, confusion, & severe depression. I used to blame my "existing" on enduring trauma I endured from the start of puberty. My being transgender explained so much pain and confusion that I had in my life. Now that I'm living authentically, I'm finally learning to live and love life - what an truly amazing thing.

[@freyjafoy6081]

This was so relatable. I think you described perfectly what I was going through before I started my transition. For example, I’d be watching a KZbin video and someone would say something that was supposed to be funny that pissed me off. So I’d notice that and think, why did that make me so mad? Then I came to realize that it was because I took it personally, as an offense to my femininity. Really, it was that realization that triggered the epiphany that I should take steps to start my transition. Thank You, once again, for helping things make sense!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@chillininthecloset4019]

This is EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling for the past year. I’m exhausted. I feel I’m close to making steps towards the right direction, but it’s not easy.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@MarkHanusin]

Thanks! This is where I have been living for quite awhile. Now that I have accepted my gender dysforbia I can free up space. My Brain was in overdrive. I was very distracted, could not focus at work and then I ate more and more.

[@andrya20]

Dr Z whatever you said was true , my brain when i am idle or even at busy times says me in background that "I am female, i am female" , because of that i can't concentrate much on my work and it has been for more than 3 months , whenever i see women's , i am getting more jealous and my mind says me to suicide just because i was born as male 😭, sometimes my mind would think "Instead of being born into a wrong body as male , i should have born as a stone" 🥺

[@mondousage]

It is insane how she nailed absolutely everything.

[@DavidBezer]

I fully came out 47;I'm now 52 and it's so true about the brain. Just being there existing is parallels. I know I felt this for so long.

[@robertdowns8855]

I'm 47 going on 48 and this has hit me hard. The thing is I'm worried about what people will say if I cruelly come out about how I am.

[@HollowSpecter]

I can relate to the coping mechanisms you describe. For me when I came out the biggest thing was that I was able to feel and pinpoint my feelings. I was able to tell others what I liked and disliked in areas where I havn't been able to do that for a long time.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Olisha.S]

This video just found me, and it hits all the points of how my life has been. I just recently started the ball rolling trying to get my transition started, and will be able to start hormones next year. I wish I had had the strength to let people know 30 years ago when I first realized it as a child. Instead I've been supressing it over and over and ended up just running my life in autopilot. Dr. Z's explanation of the disassociation during intimate activities really explains something I never could figure out why they all said something was missing. I had suppressed things to the point where I couldn't even feel my own emotions although others could see it on my face. I look forward to my journey forward as I try to unlearn the coping mechanisms from my youth.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear it was helpful to you.

[@Adonis_Quinn]

For years, I would dissociate by escaping deep inside my head and took a back seat to escape the pain as young as 9 years old. I literally lived a life inside my head while life passed outside. I’m 32 years old now and facing them instead of running away. So many years passed being on autopilot.

[@MollyWinter]

This video hits me hard. Over a decade ago I came to the conclusion that what was best for me at that time was to just drift with the current and see where it took me because I felt angry and lost and confused. It worked very well, but for the most part ever since I've felt directionless. But the past week, after having an experience that leaves little doubt as to my identity, my self confidence has been through the roof and my anxiety has been almost non-existent. I've accomplished so much this week alone, and even before I watched this video I realized that the trauma I've been coping with has been a massive drain on my energy and motivation. I need to do this, I just can't afford not to.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad to hear.

[@khcopter]

Thank you so much for making this video it helps a lot. I’ve waited way too long 53 years. Enough is enough!!

[@DRZPHD]

Glad it helped!

[@blackjack90631]

This was very helpful, thank you Dr Z. It may sound silly, but this made me think or a tarot reading I got from a woman in the street back in 2019 on Christmas. The card she analyzed for me was a skeleton handcuffed to a steering wheel, basically stating what you said. Im living on auto-pilot not in control of my life

[@DRZPHD]

Wow now I am scratching my head trying to figure out which tarot deck that wold be (tarot enthusiast here). Very powerful message.

[@blackjack90631]

@@DRZPHD :D it was like a zombie-tarot deck. I was with my sister and her boyfriend at night and we were intentionally looking for a shady-looking homeless tarot reader and ended up meeting this amazing woman in Jackson Square who had 3 lawn chairs waiting for us. It may have been a local tarot deck, but she did give us some other unbelievably accurate readings

[@gangstercountingmoney514]

this is so real, wish my parents could just understand this to see what i'm dealing with every day

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry to hear.

[@acidbubbles419]

I struggled a lot with feeling like a conflict between two people. In the one hand the real me, but on the other hand the other me which is a combination of what the world projected onto Me for the 17 years before I came out plus all the coping methods I use to navigate that life in a trenchcoat. It became a identity in itself.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@pogopenguin]

I feel so relieved because of this video. I feel like i've been "existing" for like 8 years. In the last month I've come out to my friends and started working more to allign with my gender identity and I feel like i'm living again.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@ThirrinDiamond]

We're a did/osdd system and i only today realised how its not just trauma worsening our dissociation but dysphoria may actually be the main cause/trigger. It was perspective changing

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@jessicabaker7399]

This is very true. I learnt to switch off most emotions as a kid ( bullying, mental & physical abuse ). I exist not live, but then I do not know how to live or how to feel. I show feelings but they are what I think those emotions should look like. In some ways this makes life easy feel nothing has its benefits and draw backs. Sometimes you think, it would be nice to feel happy when xyz happens but you do not know how.

[@DRZPHD]

Well said and thanks for sharing.

[@SophiesShorts247]

I’ve been on autopilot from ever since I can remember, I’ve just cracked the “egg” to a close friend and it feels so much better already. This video made me tear up Thank you x

[@ZoeyR86]

before starting transition cry at movies don't cry at funerals sex feels like an act relationships are feel hollow even if the love is honest yet filled with fear of abandonment if they leave. after starting transition. life feels like you just stepped out of a black and white movie and seen a colorful world for the first time headache fade, sleep is real not like I slept 8hrs yer felt I haven't slept yet. life just has feeling some of that is from HRT but most I think is from the clear mind without the "fog of war within" thanks Dr Z this is exactly how it has been for me and it has been very rocky my relationships are sketchy because of my choice but I feel as if I am living and not just a ghost in the machine.

[@DRZPHD]

Wow powerful. Thank you for sharing!

[@AvaFayIliza]

I have and still am dealing with dissociation. But I have been getting better since actually exploring and understanding myself. In many situations (not just sex), I would often see what I'm doing as if I'm watching a movie or TV show. I would rarely see through my own eyes. Now that I've been exploring and expressing myself truly, I am beginning to see through my own eyes instead of through the eyes of an audience member. There is still work to be done, but if I hadn't started dealing with my gender dysphoria, I would still be a miserable onlooker on my own life. Thank you, Dr Z! 💖 -Ava

[@DRZPHD]

So glad you focused on your gender! Best to be a participant not a bystander.

[@imadude8075]

And there we are. Around 1:30 they speak of gender authenticity….

[@1shnikes]

I can so relate! I was dealing with debilitating OCD and I was hearing voices for years! After coming out, with the help of meds and therapy my obsessive thoughts and voices have gone away and my dysphoria has diminished to a manageable level. I still have a long way to go but, my life has become much happier goings through this process.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad to hear you are doing so much better!

[@LeeB48]

Autopilot certainly describes my current state and that has existed for so long I have started to think that it is normal. I think I managed to fool myself for sooooo many years that I was "just" a crossdresser, but I think it runs deeper than that. I kept my feminine urges deeply under wraps for many, many years and later wife tolerated minor excursions into wearing feminine items. However once it took a more serious note she vehemently opposed my desires. She's a great spouse, partner, mother in all other areas as I have deep feelings for her and have been together for a very long time. I am at a point where my choices seem to be a choice between making my life miserable by not following my desires or making my life miserable by following my desires. Thank you so much for all the valuable information on your channel. Lee

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@samisalfiti173]

Powerful. The thing about freeing up space and disassociation, autopilot. You hit the soot!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@OhioAngler]

I’m 58 auto pilot doesn’t even begin to describe disassociateing try dead in side no connection with anyone and wandering when god will end it for you. Passive suicidal idealation is rampant no joy no nothing just living for them

[@offkeywolf4749]

thank you so much I needed to hear this, I realized I'm living my life on autopilot and I'll try to get rid of this habit or defence mechanism gotta face my demons cant ignore them anymore

[@DRZPHD]

Yes best way to deal with autopilot is to take action against that which you try to avoid. I wish you all the best.

[@ciel1083]

The biggest thing I noticed since coming out and living my life instead of just existing is that my friends said I look happier. People invite me out to events now. Whereas nobody wanted to hang out with an empty shell for a person.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear you are feeling happier.

[@BlackWolf-uk2yb]

A lot of this is currently being explored with my therapists but it 'seems' that because I was raised in a cult and other issues I had no idea of who 'I' was all I knew was that making other people happy made me happy and so this seemed to have became my 'distraction'. It gave me an 'existence' with the appearance and feeling of 'being happy'. But it was not sustainable because I can't always make everybody happy, no matter how hard I try, and it never addressed the issue of 'who am I', which seems to include Gender Dysphoria! So I have had several breakdowns!

[@eehee2428]

for a few years been suffering with horrible digestive issues! I pinpoint it to my severe anxiety.. ever since i've started hrt it has been so much better :D anxiety can show up both physically and mentally and its super exhausting I'm so glad you emphasize how important transition is

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@TomoTaimu]

This is exactly how I feel right now! I'm currently unable to transition right now and you're right, I don't feel like I'm living I just feel like I'm existing and going through the motions. Great video!

[@DRZPHD]

You got this!

[@lankiboi]

I feel this so much. It feels like no matter what I do, I still fail to be present. I've done so many things that should be amazing, travelling to my dream destinations, going to concerts, but I've never been able to fully enjoy them due the disconnect I felt to myself, and for the longest time I didn't know why, I thought I must be broken somehow. Even hanging out with friends is difficult bc I can't get out of my head. Now I understand a bit better why I've felt like this, but my transition is still just beginning and I hope I get to live in the future.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@kristenconnors2260]

My answer was to go HRT & started presenting as female 24/7. I'm totally comfortable, still I'm aware that some people don't like it but they don't have to live with this situation, that I don't have a choice I was born this way thanks to DES.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Tiana_atr]

I described myself in the past as just subsisting in a grey life. I built up a lot of barriers, repressed everything, and convinced myself that I was feeling okay. Then the barriers broke and I was hit with ~14 years of suppressed bad feelings over the course of a week. I was not in a good place. I still have a lot of bad feelings and dysphoria but I'm no longer repressing them and its a little easier to handle when its doled out gradually instead of a massive wave all at once. Its difficult, but its better and my life isn't quite so grey anymore.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@emerson23946]

I was in denial for so long, but I developed an eating disorder and I just couldn’t ignore it anymore

[@JohnDeBrazen]

I just commented on another of your videos about this exact feeling but only talking about my teen years. I'm still trying to figure it out, but this does sound like me a lot. During school I never knew what I wanted to do and just wanted to put my head down, this never helped and I didn't do very well. In my 20s and late teens I just wanted a job, unfortunately I wasn't fortunate enough to find a decent job. I just wanted to work hard and bring money home in the hope of building a life outside of that work.

[@DRZPHD]

It every common to put dysphoria on the background as a form of repression and deal with other things.

[@ryanhomcy7759]

Thank you for this video!!! I have been just existing since puberty, over 13 years now. I did not know that I was trans until a month ago and I feel alive in a way I never have before. Starting HRT has also helped me inhabit my body. Now I'm facing my life in a way I'm terrified of, but I finally have a reason to take care of and love myself.

[@toddandrews9829]

I'd never thought of it in those terms, but you brought it to my attention and I see that you're right. I've just been existing for 16+ years and only last 4 or 5 months have started trying to unravel my thoughts and feelings. Have tried starting to get back on track but my mind seems to be going 100 mph sitting still and can't concentrate on any one thing. I know now that I'm not alone in this process, that there are others dealing with the same issues. Maybe I'm not just slowly losing my mind, that it's normal?🤔

[@DRZPHD]

You are NOT losing your mind.

[@anneallison6402]

Everyone has told me since junior high school I look like living in another place, and that I was always disconnected, my father even thought I had Asperger. I've always felt like I dont belong anywhere and cant connect to people, and im always moving in autopilot, turns out since writting my memories I have desired to be a woman since around 4y/o and have always find ways to cope with how others perceive me (which has always make me so nervous). Your videos bring me eaase and feel so relatable, thank you :)

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and glad to hear the content is helpful.

[@weilaiyvn_DEACTIVATED]

Doctor I can't see your videos without relate and cry. Now I understand more why when I do things in my transition I start to feel better and sometimes like I didn't need it anymore (always an error when I think that). Each day I perceive more deep portions of this white noise that I muted by getting used to it.

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhh sending you big hug!

[@surfer-mc4rt]

I totally agree that it took a lot of space in the back of my head and I am dissociating since puberty if not earlier. However, I also have social anxiety and I fear that if I would ever decide to medically transition, other fears would occupy my mind (e.g., do I pass, will X accept me, etc.) instead and the physical things I am most dysphoric about (height and hips) can't be changed anymore...

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@deathguitarist12]

I started hormones' like 2 weeks ago. That noise you describe is so real. Within a day... it was like someone flipped a switch. My mind was so quiet. I have never known such a level of peace like that.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am glad hormones helped.

[@MrCreativewax]

literally said this all my life, I feel like I have not lived through the moments of it, done tons of amazing things over last 20 years with my wife and kids and feel like I was never there, last few years after trying to work on myself I have got to this way of thinking this year, I realised I think this is actually the problem, listening to this took the words out of my mouth that I have been saying to others and myself for a lifetime, thank you

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing. I am glad it resonated.

[@themsel-in-distress]

This affirms how I have been feeling since my early childhood. My mental health has been declining rapidly lately because I'm now realising that everything I've felt is gender dysphoria. I can't focus, I have depression, I feel hopeless and helpless all the time, I have anxiety attacks more frequently. I've felt like I've been on auto pilot for so long now. And I'm ready to make the changes.

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry to hear you have been expecting this.

[@aer2195]

Incredibly true... I was so deep into anxiety due to GD that I had panic attacks even in the middle of the night, and that I spent 15 years with an abusive partner, who I let think for me. I was so isolated that I thought I had a neurologic issue (autism for example). Now that I finally found out (and admitted) that I was transgender, my personality came back to what it was when I was a kid: joyful, friendly, talkative and full of creativity. And I'm just at the beginning of my journey ! Just a social transition for now, soon voice therapy... but it's already night and day for me. End of panic attacks !

[@DRZPHD]

So sorry to hear of your past pain and I am so glad you are feeling and doing much better.

[@stacifurey4003]

Thank you Dr Z, another great video,and again you are reading me like a magazine, it just reifirms how I'm feeling about myself and what's going on in my life

[@DRZPHD]

Sorry to reaffirm such painful experiences. I'd rather read you as a magazine in terms of your happiness.

[@alsinclaire]

Thank you for this video. Over the last year and a half beginning my transition, I thought I was the only person to look back and realize I lived my entire life just existing and not truly living.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad it was helpful and I wish you plenty of "living."

[@callumjohnson1483]

I feel like my brain is getting picked apart bit by bit, thank you for helping clear up so many doubts as I'm about to go into medical transition after 6 years of being stuck in "limbo" as i like to call it

[@DRZPHD]

Wish you all the best.

[@claudiavallee2568]

Started transition at 51. Once again, you are 100% right. Yes, I am crying.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@suicidalbanana5168]

This has been a feeling I've had for such a large majority of my life. Thank you, for making all these videos and helping us all understand better. Felt like I was in a limbo about all this until I came across your channel.

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear the content is helpful in clarifying things you have felt.

[@clintwalkerjr5802]

My dysphoria kept me in a distressed state all the time. I was socially awkward and had a hard time looking others in the eye. Since I started transition I've had a huge boost in my confidence! I can now look others in the eye and I feel a boldness that I never had before. And I haven't even started hormones yet!

[@DRZPHD]

Thats so great to hear. Its amazing how much dysphoria holds one back.

[@HeavensOfMetal]

I’m not on HRT yet, but hearing about this from some other trans women were what made it truly click that I’m likely trans. I’m hoping I see improvement on HRT but it’s months away potentially. People need to be taught about this - not just gender dysphoria, but about mental health in general. I went through 29 years not knowing what was wrong with me & it was mere happenstance that a bunch of “You’re probably trans” spears pierced my armour at the same time & then I stumbled into hearing basically this exact thing.

[@joedelgado5008]

I'm thinking about those memes what people think I'm listening to vs what I'm actually listening too but at the same time going through real life changing emotions while working and seaming ok 😅 thank you for all of your info. It really does help.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.